relationships | David M Masters

Ever since I was a little tyke, I fantasized about one day finding my one true love and living happily ever after.

Then all my dreams came true; I was never so thrilled as to have found the woman of my dreams right after high school, fell deeply in love, shouted from the rooftops, “I found my soul mate!”

I got married, raised a family and lived happily ever after. (That is, if you can define “ever after” as being a limited amount of time.)

Even though I was armed in relationship training – and helped others find ways to prolong their relationships – I discovered individuals participate in relationships for different reasons (want more on those details? Don’t hesitate to ask).

While we might desire to find our soul mate, it appears the soul mate relationship is transient.

It’s one thing to enter a full-on relationship with the first pretty gal or handsome fella to pay attention to you, but if you’ve exerted a great deal of effort to find “the one,” you’d think it reasonable to expect a higher degree of relationship longevity.

As I witnessed the relationships of others struggle, change and disintegrate, I began to wonder why?

Even I, the devout love seeker and purveyor of love, could not seem to sustain a life-long relationship.

Is it possible to find the perfect person to live out the rest of your days with?

The answer must be, “yes,” because other people do it; or do they?

Certainly there are examples of relationships that are sustained over a lifetime… at what cost?

If you are in a position to allow the participants to be open and honest about their relationship, separately and together, you may discover most of them are not as lovely as they appear to be on the surface.

I reasoned there are different kinds of soul mates who make appearances throughout your life’s journey. Some are not going to play the “mate” part very long because it is their job to affect the growth and expansion of your “soul.”

Granted, it can take some time and effort to first imagine, and then realize, the blessing in each wild and crazy relationship entanglement; but it is there.

Friedrich Nietzsche blessed our vernacular with words that have become commonplace, “That which does not kill us, makes us stronger.” These words ring true, unless you choose to let whatever-it-is destroy you, as you give up, allow yourself to deteriorate and finally cease to be.

You Choose

Every action has a reaction, but you get to determine in which direction the energy will flow – whether positive or negative – the choice is yours.

You Change

You also have the opportunity – at any given point in time – to change.

If the direction that you originally recoiled was southerly, toward the negative… that’s okay.

“I will never fall in love again.”

You can – now, whenever you are ready or now – change your direction to your northern-bound more positive destination.

“I am ready for the best love ever.”

Life is a journey; and exciting plethora of emotional experiences all designed to allow us to grow into the highest and best version of ourselves.

Is it hard?

Sometimes it is hard – and you may not be able to see it, in the tragedy of the moment – but as you review the tapes of the game (yes, this is a sports reference) you will discover how each misstep helped to educate you, giving you the opportunity to hone your skills and make you better (even better, thanks to slow motion and frame-by-frame review).

Is it worth it?

Nothing else is.

Are you ready to receive your soul mate now?

I believe You Can Get What You Want

Many people when they come to the end of their lives regret two things: The things they neglected to do and the love that they neglected to give.

Thankfully, my life is full of life lived to its fullest featuring many accomplishments and lots of love – all kinds of love – always authentically given sometimes reciprocal others unrequited; all enormously incredible and without regret.

When having half a notion to consider tackling an idea or project, I have been in a position to launch with enough fortitude to give it the ol’ college try. The results have run the gamut, everything from hilarious failure to incredible success (and everything in between); never a dull moment in the life of Masters.

Some people who have witnessed the less than desirable results of some of my projects expected me to feel bad about the, “failure.” Though, I’ve never looked at any of them as failures, only lessons learned along the way, cumulative as I continue to move forward.

My clients comprehend this never-say-die attitude (even have some of it reserved for themselves), while other folks would have thrown in the towel long ago.

In regular social circles I humbly practice restraint so as not to appear to have such a vast degree of varied experiences (unless, of course, I’m in the company of one of my friends or clients who also have the same kind of personal portfolio).

In love, I practice the same regard for others. There is a kind of love that is relentless, like that which is shared amongst my children, siblings, and extended family. Romantic relationships can be a little trickier. Certainly, I can be all-in and love full on but that is not always the case for the other participant. I realize that we all are just doing the best we can with what we have. And though it may be painful in the moment… it is what it is.

For me, it is better to live a love without take-backs. That is to say, if I ever loved someone (as a lover or as a friend) I never disregard that love, no matter the circumstance.

I believe it is better to let bygones be bygones and just continue to love, even if the other has moved on. The pain and angst that goes along with holding a grudge or maintaining any level of bad feelings only hurts myself and dishonors the love and respect previously assigned to the individual.

Every relationship is an opportunity to better understand the human condition and each experience plays an intricate part in my continued training, giving me more insight to share with friends and clients who may find themselves in a similar situation.

I like that Dave Mason song lyric, “So let’s leave it alone, ’cause we can’t see eye to eye. There ain’t no good guy, there ain’t no bad guy. There’s only you and me and we just disagree.”

I also understand that not everyone is called to a forever love and regard for others, and that’s okay, too.

We are all just trying to make it though this life to get to the others side; there is no right way, or wrong way. And if you’re hating on me now… Believe me, it’s all right. We will laugh about this on the other side.

If you’re struggling with the intimate details of a relationship that gone awry, a good relationship coach can help keep a grip on your own piece of mind, while maintaining a manageable level of damage control.