Time to Let Go of Unforgiveness

Maintaining unforgiveness in your heart anchors you to the past and prevents you from moving on in your life. Remaining in the state of unforgiveness, or holding a grudge for something in the past, promotes a negative vibration. Chronic unforgiveness can prevent you from ever experiencing true joy, while forfeiting all the good things this life is holding for you.

It takes a great deal of effort to remain focused on something that happened in the past, and if you get accustomed to remaining in this negative vibration, you solidify your victimization holding and embracing fear-based emotions of resentment, retribution, and unhappiness. After a while you can become emotionally numb, incapable of ever experiencing joy.

On the other hand, if you can find the ability to forgive someone or something that has harmed you in the past, you release all these negative connections, breaking the power of these invisible chains from causing you further pain and suffering. This leaves your heart in a permeable and open state ready to experience all the good things in life.

It’s not enough just to speak words of forgiveness, you must do the inner work of letting go to truly forgive, releasing the grip that unforgiveness has on you. This is the only way to prevent yourself from psychological deterioration due to increased levels of stress, frustration and anxiety leading to the inability to feel good about yourself. As you further isolate yourself from otherwise positive states of mind, you will find yourself feeling ashamed, lonely and falling into deeper states of depression.

Your ego insists on harboring unforgiveness and wants to seek revenge, so it will be interrupting your otherwise healthy state of mind, reminding you about this thing that happened to you in the past, and every time your mind is quickened by these thoughts, you revisit the pain associated with this event in your past.

Unforgiveness is self-destructive, reduces your immune system and promotes the erosion of your otherwise healthy physiological state. People who hold grudges are more likely to suffer negative health ramifications of unforgiveness including, but not limited to, the deterioration of brain cells, ulcers, and promotes the growth of cancer.

Unforgiveness is the cause for up to 80% of the strife and disease suffered by the majority of us. So isn’t it about time you thought about forgiving and inviting love to come into your life?

Guard your heart and mind against the negative state of unforgivness by learning to forgive and let go. And remember this: Forgiveness is not for the person who wronged you, it is not approving of their behavior or endorsing them in any way. Forgiveness is for you. You forgive them, so they no longer have control of your thoughts and declining health conditions.

Forgiveness empowers you to get back in the driver’s seat of your life.

How can I forgive the unforgiveable?

It may not be a once-and-for-all type of forgiveness for you; it may take time and a concerted effort on your part to wrap your head and heart around the idea. It is a process. But as you find ways to hone your skills of forgiveness, you will be able to actually feel the results of your letting go.

You’re holding space in your thoughts for the good things in life, the things that bring you joy and your body feels increasingly better with every passing day, because you’re casting off the negativity of unforgiveness and making room for love in your life.

To really forgive someone means you can look back on the person or incident without pain or anger. To accomplish this, you must face your fears head-on. Get to the bottom of these emotions, identifying the transgression in detail. Be brutally honest and don’t try to sugar coat it. It may be helpful to write it out in detail.

Then try to look at it from another perspective, using your imagination, see why the transgression may have made sense from a different perspective.

Seeing the transgression from another point of view, outside of yourself, will have you well positioned to forgive and let it go. As much accustomed to the guilt and pain as you have become up until this point, you realize in order to have any sense of happiness or ability to enjoy life, you must let it go.

Forgive and let it go.

Gather up your self-respect and move away from this event and find new ways to let love into your life.

The Basis of True Forgiveness

Forgiving others is frightening business of your deep work. It’s like it just doesn’t make sense because we are programmed to live in a society where fear and the concept of punishment is prevalent. We are constantly in fear of what someone might do to us that might make us sad, be disrespectful, offensive or painful and feel as though the only thing that could possibly make things right would be punishing the offender or making them suffer for their misdeeds.

This has been a constant method of thinking that has been prevalent since as far back as mankind can remember (or at least document). This pervasive sense of crime and punishment has permeated all facets of social life including governmental at all levels from local community to the world, exclusive groups and religions, and right down to work and familial life. So, it’s no surprise when someone hurts you, all you want is retribution or revenge. They must pay for their sins.

The this crazy thing happened a couple of thousand years ago, when someone manned up in the most peculiar way that started a change in how people thought about how to react when someone treats you poorly, does something really bad, or hurts you Including breaking any of the ten commandments. This was a crazy idea at the time and not well received at the time, until after he sealed the idea by signing a record breaking decree issued from the highest court with his own life’s blood.

This was not just about forgiving others for their transgressions against you and me, this idea of forgiveness is uncompromising and far reaching to not only those who have offended us, but also to you and me, giving us a chance to live a life unbridled by any punishment for any thoughts or deeds that may haunt us from our own lives… even our deepest and darkest secrets hidden within us.

We honor the price paid for this comprehensive idea of forgiveness today. As tragic as the entire affair was at the time, we refer to it as Good Friday, because for us:

How More Blessed Could We Be?

By receiving a royal invitation to start life over, every day, free from self-deprecation or fear of punishment for any bad thoughts, wrongs or misdeeds ever possibly conceived of. Instantly, all wiped away in a complete rebooting, like the ultimate Ctrl-Alt-Delete. For those who accept this free gift can begin every day clean and anew.

So, this 2000-year-old event which was meant for evil/punishment for crimes committed against the status quo, turned out to be one of the most significant events promoting a massive pivot in this sense of a newfound freedom from fear or sin and punishment.

Of course, even after 2,000 years, we still struggle with the idea as we still feel like people who offend us or do not conform to the status quo are punished and we cannot seem to find new way to punish and incarcerate them at a rapid enough rate. Rationally, the pendulum has swung so far that the idea of forgiveness is the furthest thing from our minds or societal structure.

Think about it: If we keep throwing people in jail or prison at the current rate of growth of the prison population, in 35 years

You will either be in prison

or working for a prison.

The whole idea fails. It doesn’t work. In fact, the only way to make it work is to increase the penalty for wrongdoing to the death penalty.

Then, there is this idea of forgiveness lurking in the wings…

Maybe this idea sealed-in-blood 2,000 years ago is worth considering…

Forgiving is hard, contrarian work.

What are your thoughts?

 

Unforgiveness or Forgiveness

What do you have the tendency to hold inside, a state of unforgiveness or forgiveness?

What if someone assaulted you either physically, verbally or emotionally? What if someone you trusted betrayed you? What if someone stole something that belonged to you or otherwise wronged you in some way? What do you do?

Unforgiveness or forgiveness? Which side of the bars are you on?

Forgive them

The idea of forgiving someone for doing something to hurt us, our feelings, or otherwise negatively impact our lives sounds ludicrous. We have been programmed to do anything but forgive. When we have been wronged, we want revenge or justice, and we want it now. Not dissimilar to Alice in Wonderland’s Red Queen asserting, “Off with is head!”

We get all righteous and indignant insisting that our basic moral code reads, “An eye for an eye,” indicating that retaliation is warranted and honorable.

When you have suffered an injustice you have one of two things you can do, either harbor unforgiveness, or to embrace the idea of forgiveness and let it go.

The idea of forgiveness is crazy-making for most of us, because retribution seems much more satisfying. If someone does something to harm someone else, they must be severely punished. It is this positioning that has our prisons filled to maximum capacity.

As we pass more and more laws to penalize more and more Americans the rate of incarceration increases exponentially. In fact, is we keep creating new laws and arresting more and more wrongdoers, in the next three decades you will either be imprisoned or work for the judicial system.

And where does all this incarceration get us? It fills us with negative emotions, keeps us in a virtual state of fear and causes us to harbor hatred. Think about how much you hold onto negative emotions about being victimized by someone else. You can hold a grudge for a lifetime, and feel as though it’s warranted and justified.

What does holding fast to these negative emotions do to you? It causes you to spin a whirlpool of negative emotions, causing premature aging and deterioration of all of you; your mind, body and soul.

What good is it to seek revenge, when you could just let it go and live a better, happier life? You could let someone’s negative words of deeds overpower you and cause you to wither away and ultimately put you in an early grave, or live a better life, you best life and make the world a better place. How? By

Forgiving

Many people would state, “I cannot forgive,” him or her because what he or she, “did was unforgiveable.”

What you fail to understand is every moment you hold tight to your lack of forgiveness, you bolster the very thing that hurt you or caused you harm, and you allow someone else (the person who committed the action against you) to have power over you. Every minute you ruminate about this person or what they did to disrespect or otherwise harm you, you reward them with control over you. How much more power does this individual need to have over you?

We take it personal because we feel someone has done something to us, when in fact the thing that happened to you to hurt you or your feelings actually had little or nothing to do with you. You were simply in the wrong place at the wrong time because if it didn’t happen to you, it would have happened to someone else.

If you think about it, God selected you to be the recipient of the wrongdoing because you could handle it (‘ere the phrase, “God will not give you anything you can’t handle). Which implies, Yes. God thinks you are a superhero because no one else was uniquely qualified to deal with this injustice.

Unforgiveness is your own prison. Your only hope for escape is to enact your prison break with forgiveness.

Remember, forgiveness is not for the wrongdoer. Forgiveness is for you. Forgiveness does not condone any sin against you, it simply releases you from your prison, allowing karma, God, the local jurisdictions, state or federal agencies to deal with the offender in any what they choose.

If you’ve forgiven, you walk away, retaining the education you received from this incident or circumstance as you keep moving forward. You needn’t forget the incident, but you must find a way to forgive in such a manner as to be able to think or talk about the event without experiencing any emotional distress.

After all, the best revenge is to live a successful life filled with happiness and abundance in spite of any transgression that has visited you.