I have witnessed firsthand the undercurrents of back-biting, infighting, and conflict behind the doors of Christian churches. It’s a widespread issue, affecting congregations of all sizes and denominations. Even among the disciples, who walked alongside Jesus, there was petty back-and-forth and whispering behind each other’s backs. But does their example make it right? Or set a precedent? Or is there a better way we could follow?
Church conflict is not a new phenomenon. The seeds of discord have been sown throughout Christian history, from disagreements over doctrine to personal rivalries. In modern churches, these conflicts manifest in various ways: disagreements over leadership, theological differences, personal slights, and sometimes even trivial matters like the style of worship or the color of the carpet.
We must acknowledge that this infighting is not just a private matter among believers. It’s visible to the outside world. And, frankly, it doesn’t look good. It doesn’t appear welcoming. And it’s certainly not an appropriate representation of the Love of Jesus mindset we claim to embody.
Outsiders observe our conflicts and wonder why anyone would want to follow a Jesus who seems to promote such discord among His followers. They see the division and ask, “If Christians can’t even get along with each other, how can they expect to bring peace to the world?”
Even among the disciples, we see examples of conflict. They argued about who was the greatest among them (Luke 22:24), and there were tensions over who would sit at Jesus’ right and left in His kingdom (Mark 10:37-41). However, these examples should not be considered precedents for us. Instead, they serve as cautionary tales, reminding us that even those closest to Jesus were not immune to the human tendency toward pride and division.
Jesus didn’t condone this behavior; He corrected it. He taught that greatness in His kingdom is measured by humility and service, not by status or power (Matthew 20:26-28). He emphasized unity and love among His followers, praying they may be one, just as He and the Father are one (John 17:21).
The disciples’ conflicts show us that the struggle to live in unity is real and ongoing. But Jesus’ teachings provide a blueprint for overcoming these divisions and embodying His love authentically.
For those of us who claim to serve Jesus, answering His call means respecting and loving others—our families, friends, brethren, members of other Christian factions, and even nonbelievers of all kinds—without judgment, just as Jesus loved us. Jesus didn’t just preach love; He lived it, even to the point of making the ultimate sacrifice on our behalf.
So how can we, as Christians who have heard and accepted the call of God, take steps to be a more humbly righteous representation of the Love of Jesus mindset? Here are some steps we can take:
1. Pray for One Another
2. Focus on What Unites Us
3. Practice Humility
4. Engage in Honest Dialogue
5. Model Forgiveness
6. Seek Reconciliation
7. Be Peacemakers
1. Pray for One Another
Prayer is a powerful tool for overcoming conflict. When we pray for those with whom we disagree, we open our hearts to God’s love and perspective. It’s hard to remain angry with someone when you’re genuinely praying for their well-being (James 5:16).
2. Focus on What Unites Us
In a world full of division, let’s focus on what unites us as followers of Christ rather than what divides us. We all share the same faith in Jesus and the same calling to love God and our neighbors (Matthew 22:37-39). Let’s keep our eyes on these central truths.
3. Practice Humility
Pride is often at the root of conflict. By practicing humility and putting the needs of others before our own, we can prevent many disagreements from turning into full-blown conflicts. Remember, Jesus washed His disciples’ feet, setting an example of servant leadership (John 13:14-15).
4. Engage in Honest Dialogue
Sometimes, conflicts arise from misunderstandings or lack of communication. Let’s commit to engaging in honest, respectful dialogue with one another, seeking to understand before being understood (Ephesians 4:15).
5. Model Forgiveness
Jesus called us to forgive others as we have been forgiven (Matthew 6:14-15). Let’s be quick to forgive, even when it’s difficult, and let go of grudges that can fuel ongoing conflict.
6. Seek Reconciliation
When conflicts arise, our first response should be to seek reconciliation, not to escalate the situation. Jesus taught that if we have something against a brother or sister, we should go and be reconciled to them before offering our gift at the altar (Matthew 5:23-24). Let’s prioritize healing relationships over winning arguments.
7. Be Peacemakers
Jesus said, “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God” (Matthew 5:9). Let’s strive to be peacemakers in our churches, fostering environments where love, respect, and unity can flourish.
The world is watching us, and our actions speak louder than words. If we truly want to reflect the love of Jesus, we must do better than the disciples did in their moments of conflict. We must strive for unity, humility, and love in our interactions with one another. This is Jesus’ call, and it’s how we can show the world that His love is real and transformative.
Let us commit ourselves to being better representations of Christ, not through words alone but through actions that demonstrate the Love of Jesus mindset. In doing so, we can create churches that are welcoming, inclusive, and a true reflection of the love and grace that Jesus offers to all.