Falsely Accused

Ever been falsely accused?

You didn’t do it. Yet here you are accused of doing something or having knowledge of something or been an accessory to a crime when you had nothing to do with it.

You could have been set up to take the fall or play the part of the scapegoat, an unwitting actor in a street theater ploy, assumed to be guilty because you were in the wrong place at the wrong time, or caught hanging out with the wrong folks, and assumed guilty by association.

Falsely Accused at Work

I remember the first time I was falsely accused. It was at work following high school, when a co-worker was caught stealing from the company I was working for. I didn’t know anything about the theft, but the owner was convinced that if I wasn’t involved in the theft, I must have had knowledge of it and conspired to help cover up the theft. The owner was very matter-of-fact about it all, would not listen to what I had to say, and he asked me to resign. My spirit and my heart were broken. I knew there was no way I would ever be trusted again at this company after being falsely accused. I left dejected and ashamed even though I had no knowledge of the affair.

That feeling created an emotional anchor which gets triggered anytime someone doesn’t believe me when I am telling the truth, which happens more than my being falsely accused.

Falsely Accused of a Crime

A friend of mine was falsely accused of criminal activity which led to ongoing years of legal battles in an attempt to affirm his claim of innocence. This has been his life’s greatest challenge. I can’t help but watch every moment of his harrowing experience without thinking, “What if that happened to me?”

He has suffered harshly at the hands of the legal system, which seems to be determined to drag him through the mud until all his resources have been spent and he is left penniless and possibly homeless. Then what?

Will he have enough energy, ability, and resources to clear his name once it is determined that he didn’t do it? It has been so awful to witness someone go through something, like this. With my experience with psychopaths, I have seen them try to do this to me but was able to avoid prosecutors taking much notice, even with their best efforts, else this could have been my story, too.

Falsely Accused in Love

Not just limited to my work with couples, I, too, have been falsely accused in a romantic sense, and when someone’s emotions are running high and they’ve worked themselves into a frenzy, convincing themselves that you’re guilty of some impropriety, it can make you feel hopeless, betrayed and abandoned, asking yourself, “where is the love?”

Falsely accusing your partner can promote a deterioration of the sacred trust between partners. Even if not initiated maliciously (because the need to falsely accuse might be a response to an ancient wound or pain from childhood), such an intimate betrayal can result in the destruction of an otherwise healthy, loving relationship, with a world of expansive possibilities.

Falsely Accused in Youth

All of us have been young, had, have, or know young children who have come home upset and/or crying because they have been falsely accused. This is commonly referred to as being bullied, which all forms of falsely accusing someone are forms of bullying. In youngsters, this painful anchor stays with them for life.

Young Aaron was devastated when his teacher falsely accused him of stealing his poem written in honor his friends and awarded his assignment with a red-letter “F” because she said she’d read his poem before on the Internet, even though the poem could not be found on the Internet.

In my work with clients, it is not uncommon for us to trace dark hauntings which have troubled and expressed themselves in different ways contributing to conflict and drama from these childhood traumas from false accusations or bullying.

Why Falsely Accuse?

Except in the cases of malicious psychopaths or sociopaths the people who falsely accuse have their own agenda(s) and may not mean to cause the damage that may be the result of their false accusation. In most cases, their accusation provided them with a sense of relief without thinking through the possible ramifications of their false reports. All they know is that in the moment they feel better about themselves having shifted the focus to someone else.

Kids might boost their self-esteem momentarily or gain peer-points by falsely accusing or bullying someone else. Lovers carrying emotional baggage or have been burned and scarred in the past might accuse motivated by fear or as an act of self-preservation. Workers looking to advance in the workplace might use this method to eliminate the competition or get ahead. Business owners might err on the side of caution to protect their investment for fear of potential loss, or someone might accuse someone of something that didn’t happen to avoid personal conflict or drama. In other more nefarious circumstances, someone might use a false accusation as an act of revenge with the full intent of causing harm to someone else, possibly without thinking through how devastating their accusation might be.

As one person who falsely accused an innocent man of rape said, “30 years in prison seems like a bit severe punishment. Maybe just a few years would be good enough,” before she was found guilty of falsely accusing the man.

Why have people falsely accused others of crimes? Let’s see…

“I didn’t want to get in trouble for skipping school,” after filing a false report identifying a fictitious abductor, or a similar one by a girl who, “didn’t want to get in trouble for missing the bus.”

A woman falsely reported an abduction and rape because she “didn’t want to get in trouble for missing work.”

A girl admitted after her father had served 9 years of a 15-year sentence for sexually abusing his daughter revealed that she made the accusation because she did not to “get in trouble,” for having consensual sex with a young boy.

Being falsely accused leaves a mark and can completely destroy someone’s life. Don’t do it.

If certain people are falsely accusing you, steer clear of them, eliminating their inclination of accusing you of something far worse in the future.

Innocent Prisoner Released After 18 Years

innocent prisoner released after 18 years

149 innocent prisoners who had served an average of 15 years behind prison walls were released last year

Unfortunately, this happens too often to believe it’s an anomaly; innocent men or women are convicted of crimes they did not commit, their lives are ruined as they are plucked from their families and society and imprisoned to rot away… Why? Because someone thought they were an undesirable, someone needed a scapegoat and the accused innocent did not have enough money to adequately defend themselves in court.

Thankfully it doesn’t happen every day, but it happens enough to make you wonder

How many innocent people are serving time in prison?

There is a lot of motivation to convict someone of a crime. Local law enforcement wants the community to feel safe and feel like they are effectively keeping their promise to serve and protect us. The more convictions the prosecution gets, the safer the community, and the more likely a prosecutor can promote.

We are part of the problem, too. If a crime has been committed that leaves us crying out for justice to be done, this adds pressure on law enforcement to find someone to offer up as the perpetrator of the crime. If not, how can any of us feel safe, knowing there is someone “out there” who could perpetrate a similar crime against us?

So, they ‘round up the usual suspects and seek out someone who meets certain criteria that will result in a likely conviction. The candidate usually has limited financial resources (will have to rely on a public defender), could have limited intelligence and/or social skills, has had some legal issues in the past (even if minor), and might be considered by peers (perspective jury) as an undesirable. Making for a perfect conviction cocktail.

Even if wrongly accused, we are satisfied and feel safer knowing that someone is behind bars who “committed” this crime, as we light our torches and shout out, “kill the monster,” as if we were characters in the climax of Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein.

Then there are the other types of crimes that are committed, even harder to prove, because the details are vague, evidence is lacking, there are few witnesses, but still the crime is grisly enough that we want to see someone incarcerated for the crime; even if the crime did not actually take place.

Local Police Catch and Release

Catch and release is a policy demonstrated by local police departments whereby they respond to a call or question a pedestrian and can be compelled to find a  reason to detain the individual, especially if the person appears to have a low income or mental health status. The individual is booked and released as soon as an audience with a judge has been arranged. The individual's just happy to be out and not convicted of something they didn't do.

But they are now in the system, just in case their character comes into question when associated with some other crime in the future.

Poor Man’s Revenge

This is how the dregs of society use (or abuse) the system to execute revenge on someone else within arm’s reach of their position in society at no cost. Simply accuse the person of some wrongdoing of a criminal act, have a compelling story to tell that will enrage the community, be capable and willing to lie on the stand under oath and you could get your free revenge served up by our legal system with a smile.

We’re likely to convict someone we don’t particularly care for. If nothing else, our communities look better with those who make little contribution to society behind bars. We feel safer and it bolsters our faith in the system charged with our safety and security. Plus, who doesn’t like a good story, where someone is wronged and the perpetrator pays the price the evil deed (whether they did it, or not)? And we don’t mind expending tax dollars in this manner. Besides, “I always knew there was something not right about that guy,” or gal.

We’re likely to think our community is better off without this individual on our streets anyway. And speaking of a jury of peers… Really? In most cases, where the wrongly accused is of a low economic (and/or mental health) stature, the members of the jury are likely not. (Although adequately selecting authentic peers would make for an entertaining reality TV show.)

In recent years, organizations have sprung up to help those wrongly accused and committed, but their resources are minimal, the demand is high and they hand-pick their cases that usually involve life sentences. There aren’t many resources available for imprisoned innocents serving less than a sentence of life in prison.

Is our system broken? Yes.

Can we fix it? Not likely any day soon.

Too much of our economy relies on our clunky legal system. While those who run the system attempt to make it look as good as possible, continue to enjoy their lucrative incomes, regular promotions and benefits.

That’s all well and good, unless it’s you who has been wrongly accused, stood trial, were found guilty and sent to prison for something you didn’t do.

‘ere but for the grace of God go I