Aren’t All Life Coaches the Same?

It’s not uncommon for people to have misconceptions about the types of coaches and mentors that I work with, especially if they have met one. After meeting someone who introduces them as a “Life Coach” and you get to know a little about them and what they do, you might come to the conclusion that this is what life coaches are like. Like most assumptive generalizations, nothing could be further from the truth.

That would be like saying that all government employees are the same. While they may share some similar characteristics, each coach, counselor or consultant is more like an individual work or art and no two are the same.

Out of nearly a hundred different types of coaches I’ve worked with, the most popular include the general life coach as well as coaches in specialized areas of business, career, communication, financial, leadership, mentoring, performance, relationship, and spiritual to note a few.

Each individual coach, counselor or consultant brings their own mix of varying degrees of innate skills, life experiences and professional training to become the ever-evolving version of themselves which they offer to others as a support system, and every one has his or her own unique style of coaching.

For instance, here are just some attributes of coaching styles that you might find in a potential coach:

  • Accountability partner
  • Acts as a guide and confidant
  • Assist individuals in breaking out of their comfort zone and expand their thinking
  • Assist others in seeing the superpowers shrouded by infirmity or disability
  • Assists in trying new things or a new ways of doing something
  • Challenge the person’s assumptions
  • Cognitive shift enabling clients to achieve their goals
  • Competition coaching in any field from sports to professional
  • Focus on experimentation, creativity and innovation
  • Goals setting and achievement
  • Help others turn bad experiences into treasure leading to a bright future
  • Helping people live in the now
  • Helps make a considerable break from the past
  • Helps remove blocks that may be the result of a hidden fear or limiting beliefs
  • Identifies with how the client is feeling
  • Identify personal or professional symptoms, find out the source of those symptoms, and help them find solutions
  • Increasing performance, personal and/or professional
  • Motivation and inspirational
  • Reflective consideration, overcoming the past to effectively move forward
  • Uncovering expansion of truth and belief systems
  • Work with a person resistant to growth
  • Work on personal standards and boundaries
  • Work with people on who they are, what they want and how to achieve their desires

There are so many different kinds of coaches with so many styles and specialties that it is nothing short of impossible a task to try to lump them all into a particular set of characteristics, even if based on their particular field of expertise.

So, if you’re looking for a coach, keep in mind that one size does not fit all. Find the right coach for you, one whose style resonates with you.

And if you’re interested in becoming a coach or mentor (or already are one) celebrate your individuality and be yourself. Embrace a style of coaching that suits you well and helps your clients achieve their highest and best.

Expectation Imposition

You can try to impose your expectations on another person, but is this really advisable?

I know, I’ve been there, too

I have been in the flow of helping others in counseling, coaching and consulting since high school. In the beginning my work was focused primarily on Christian counseling and I recognized that if it wasn’t impossible to legislate Christian conduct, it would certainly be immoral to attempt to do so. It resonated as true within my sense of being that a person could only conduct their lives in such a way as was congruent with any sense of rationality they could muster based on the individual lives they had lived up to this point in time, or simply put

Everyone is doing the best they can with what they have

counselor coach consultant training counselors coaches consultants

Yet early in my ministry, I kept running into walls and posturing against leadership promoting the idea that certain ideas and expectations should be enforced in order to allow participation in our program. After attempting to find ways to work-around these organized spiritual obstacles unsuccessfully, I determined more secular spiritual endeavors would better suit my ministry.

I mean, really? It appears to me that Jesus had an entirely more radical approach, like, “Love God, mind your own business and don’t screw anybody over” (admittedly, a Masters’ paraphrase, but you get the idea).

As I continued assisting others and later transitioned into training counselors, coaches and consultants, I continued to promulgate the idea that while trying to assist someone along their life’s journey, we should not impose our expectations on the client.

It’s not your life

You can, yeah but, me ‘til you’re blue in the face. I will never concede that you will ever know what’s best for another person. You may have your ideas, and by all means, it is your charge and responsibility to share your ideas, as well as others, to help your client see there are options they might have not considered.

Allow them to make their own way

You must allow them the space to make their own decisions and take their own actions and live out their own lives in their own way.

I have standards

Great; no problem with establishing a target market around the type of individuals you achieve the best results with. You only have a certain number of hours available to help others, it is prudent for you to establish your niche so you can better serve your clients with the resources you have available.

You cannot – and should not – try to be everything to everyone. This will lead to disappointment, discouragement and burnout (the fate of most non-specializing counselors).

If I can see that a client is not a good match for my coaching style, I do not demand they comply with my standards. Instead, I refer them to someone else who is better suited to help them with where they are on their life’s journey. Maybe, at a later date, we will be more compatible.

The easiest sign to identify a novice counselor, coach or consultant, is when he or she says, “I told them what to do and they wouldn’t do it,” with a certain degree of angst. While a more-seasoned professional might say, “I made some suggestions. In my opinion, they did not select the option I might have selected but c’est la vie.”

When someone doesn’t take advice from you and you’ve encouraged him or her to look at all the possible outcomes from various points of view, you might consider applauding them for blazing their own trail, then just sit back and see how their decision works out for them. You might be surprised (as I have been on many occasions) how well things do work out for them, even though you might not have fared as well.

And if things don’t work out for them as well as they’d hoped, for god’s sake do not tell them, “I told you so.” Instead, put yourself in their shoes; how would you feel if you were him or her? A little humility goes a long way. It is not your job to judge, but to empathetically support the client; not to validate your ego-dominated superiority.

Lighten up – Let it be

Perception + Purpose = Prosperity

A simple equation: Perception + Purpose = Prosperity.

At the risk of being over-simplified (though I like to reduce everything to its simplest form) the idea of taking a complicated, broad concept, like the law of attraction and to reduce it down to a basic three-step formula, was an idea that piqued my interest.

In my work as a consultant and coach, I often find myself dealing with these three components: perception, purpose and prosperity and an quite impressed as I realize how connected they always appear to be, so reducing them to this simple formula, seemed a natural.

perception purpose prosperity empower attraction lightning strikes awakening


This is where one must start. This is what separates my clients from the clients of other coaches or consultants. The people that I work with already have had a major shift in their perception (how one sees the world or one’s self in the world) already, or they have reached a point in their life’s journey where they are beginning the process of changing their perception of life and their pursuit of happiness and fulfillment on planet earth.

As your perceptions begins to shift you will be able to see things as they really are in the world and beyond, realizing that everything is energy… and that you – the real empowered you – can access all energies as your outdated programming begins to dissolve and fade away, you see the things you previously believed about your world, yourself and your limitations were not true.

Self perception

Changing how you see yourself and how you are related to and interact with the rest of the world is an important step in the process. When it occurs to you (and this occurrence of consciousness is on a rapid incline) that you are not just a worker bee, but a divine being who is beginning to lack congruency with the way society and the media would like you to perceive yourself, your awakening has sparked.

As your awareness grows and permeates your being and thought processes, you realize that there is more to this life and you know that you were meant for something more… and so much more than you could have previously even imagined is waiting for you on the other side of this equation.

There is no guidebook and there are no rules in changing your perception, as everyone’s perspective in individually unique. What is important is that you start to question social mores and blaze your own trail with one caveat: Be discrete about your shift in perception. Not everyone will be comfortable with the change that is taking place within you, so try to keep it to yourself. This is a private affair.

Maybe seek a coach, or therapist versed in this target area to encourage your personal growth and path to enlightenment, otherwise do not encourage others to jump on board, because where you are going – though it is the next step in our evolution – is not encouraged by the powers that be, nor the society they control.


The next step (or this could have been the first step, there are no hard and fast rules, here) is to find your sense of purpose. I believe every person that comes to this planet has a specific purpose and/or mission – a reason for being – that left squelched leaves one having a sense of dissatisfaction, or a feeling of emptiness. My clients either already have a strong sense of what their purpose in life is, or they are just coming to realize that it’s time to match their life, including not only what they do but how they live, is precisely aligned with their purpose.

Again, even though we all come here with a purpose, the knowledge of it is suppressed by elitists and outside forces in an effort to keep us from evolving (for our own good?).

Once the spark of perception lights the fire of purpose, the resulting blaze (you determine the quantity and pace to stoke the fire – there is no right way [or wrong way] to do this. You go at the pace that is just right for you – fuels barn-burning prosperity.

Brace yourself…


Call it prosperity, abundance, dream catching, being rich and able to bless others and the world with the fruits of your faithfulness, whatever you call it, it has always been here for you, waiting for you.

Once you change your perspective, you can live your life on purpose and enjoy all this life has to offer you – not only from a financial perspective, but also – in love, happiness, good health, quality of life and increased longevity.

Be aware that the P+P=P process is ongoing, constant and never ending. Once you’ve engaged in the process, you will never have a desire to live a life that does not empower you to live out your highest and best. There is virtually no limit to the rewards of allowing yourself to evolve and continue to grow.

The Right Coach for You

I work with many coaches and therapists and actively engage in training and certification of coaches and consultants. In my work with many coaches and consultants, what I’ve found is that no two practitioners are the same.

The right kind of life coach counselor therapist consultant for you

This is the beauty of the landscape filled with those assisting others with a myriad of issues and circumstances in life and business. In a perfect world, you would be able to find the perfect match for a coach, counselor or consultant with the tools necessary to maximize the time spent with your specialist.

Successful practitioners are constantly honing their skills and expanding their areas of expertise in an effort to better serve their target clientele. I have close to 40 certifications under my belt and instruct 18 therapeutic science modalities.

When someone comes in to work with me, it is of primary importance that together we discern whether this is a good match before we pursue our work together. Depending on your needs and what we both bring to the table, I might refer you to another coach whom is better equipped or specializes in a particular area.

We all have different areas of expertise, and our practices tend to morph and change over time. For instance, areas of specialization that were predominant in my practice years ago are now better handled by others whose practices focus on those target areas.

You might be thinking, what about all those previous areas of specialization? (Especially, if you worked with me previously in an area that is no longer on the menu of services covered in my current practice.) Of course, I am grateful that you sought me out, am happy to see you again and proud of your progress and accomplishments, but I must be true to my current calling and focus and to you and yours. So in your best interest, I will refer you to another associate.

All this to say, if you’re seeking a professional to team up with in your local geographic area, chances are there is someone keenly suited for your needs, requirements and/or circumstance. Which implies that it’ll behoove you to seek out someone who is just right for you.

Just as you come into the office with a certain set of skills, you want to make sure that your needs are commensurate to the skills that your coach, counselor or consultant has command of or access to.

It might be a good idea to know what type of coach you are looking for, nonetheless, a good coach will be able to help you determine and locate an appropriate type of coach. Coaches can specialize in areas of life, life skills, spiritual, family, parenting, relationships, dating, health, wellness, fitness, personal performance, professional development, career, business, leadership and executive (secret weapon) coaching just to name a few (of over a hundred).

Coaches may also have practices that include alternative therapeutic modals, like NLP, EFT, hypnotherapy, etc…

In your initial intake consultation, you should be able to ascertain whether this is a good match for you. If not, there is a good chance that your practitioner can refer you to someone better suited for you.