Relationship Blinders

If you want to have a good relationship with your partner over a long period of time, it can be helpful to have the ability to put on your relationship blinders. Relationship blinders suggest that you have the ability to focus on your relationship uninterrupted by anything that is going on outside the relationship.

In life, there are many things vying for your attention. Life presents us with so many distractions, it’s a wonder you can remember you’re in a relationship at all. But you are. You and your partner are two different people bonded together in relationship.

Among the relationship coaching community there is agreement that within each relationship there are at least three entities in a relationship; there is you, your partner, and the relationship (many relationship experts agree there are many more, but all agree on these three). The relationship, the combination of you and your partner creates a third entity and this entity needs just as much care and attention as each of the participants in the relationship.

The happiest and most successful love relationships treat this third entity (the relationship) as a sacred endeavor worthy of your best efforts and focused attention. The kind of focus and attention that you might exert for something profoundly important.

Let’s look at some examples, if you’re studying for a final exam, you might lock yourself in your room with your textbook to intensely focus on the material in preparation for the test. If your business or organization is going through a significant change or facing challenges in the marketplace, you grab your most important managerial staff or board members, schedule an intensive retreat to brainstorm possible solutions in a sacred vacuum.

Isn’t your relationship worth the same level of intense focus?

As important as your studies, business, or organization might be, your relationship is worthy of even more focus and attention.

Nonetheless, there are two people in the relationship, which could be looked at like an incorporation, or corporation, a third entity. Still, each of the principals (both presidents, as in the best romantic relationships, there is not a president and vice-president) have lives outside of the relationship.

Life outside demands effort and attention which has no regard for your relationship. It’s easy to get distracted having to exert great deals of energy just to get through each day. After a long day of putting out fires, it can be unimaginable to consider that you might have enough strength and ability to focus intently on your relationship.

In this day and age, it is acceptable, if not encouraged to not view your relationship as this sacred union between two people. Besides, there are lots of other people that you could partner with, each bringing to a potential union other gifts and abilities, as the grass always looks so inviting on the other side of the fence. Plus, huge legal, governmental, and social organizations thrive on relationship breakdown. If every relationship were solid, long-lasting, and able to handle whatever challenges might come its way, these structures would disintegrate for there would be no need for them any longer.

But it takes more than just our best intentions; it takes commitment and inspired action to put forth the effort and put blinders on to honor your sacred relationship.

It means creating separation between your life outside the relationship and your union at home. Feel comfortable enough to talk about your day with your partner, but don’t let negative emotional impact of your day overflow into your relationship. It can help to take time for climatizing, allowing you, your mind, your emotions, your body and spirit to acclimate to your relationship environment.

Maybe take some time to listen to your favorite music, take a relaxing bath, read a chapter of an uplifting book, make and take some time to transition from your life outside your relationship to attune your vibration to effectively match this other part of you, the third entity of your relationship.

Your relationship deserves, at the very least, the same level of commitment you offer your life outside the relationship. Just as you wouldn’t let a difficulty at home affect your life and interaction with others outside the relationship, you need to protect your relationship from the affect of other people, circumstances, and potentially negative energy from outside.

Being able to put on relationship blinders enables you to keep anything from distracting you from honoring your most intimate and meaningful relationship. It means when you or your partner have had a hard day, or are not on your best game, the other one is there to hold you in his or her arms in loving embrace and assure you with, “Everything will be okay.”

And when you feel like things might not be going as well as you thought they might at home, your attentions don’t look outside your relationship for a sense of wellbeing, support or intimacy because you have your relationship blinders on, and you know your highest and best relationship is waiting for you at home. You know this is a signal and a sign to look for something new that you can bring home to make things even better.

Blinders are good, and they help maintain focus on your sacred relationship.

 

Get in The Zone

“The zone” is a vibratory state of mind, where your body, mind and soul are in sync with each other so synergistically that everything becomes easy, some people report this heightened sense of awareness makes it appear as though the world is moving in slow motion, giving he or she who is in the zone a fraction of a second (or more) advantage.

Athletes and Olympians refer to this state of being as being “in the zone.” In that moment it’s as though all the planets, synapses in your brain, the cells of your body and your DNA are all aligned and you are operating at your peak performance capacity.

This state of being is not just for athletes, you will find people in the zone in the office, boardroom, at the news desk, on the highway, in the air, or on the battlefield. When you’re in the zone, you are able to react quickly with accuracy, you have an increased focus, as everything outside the task at hand fades away, and attention to detail and precision is increased.

Being in the zone is akin to being in the state of mind known as “Fight or Flight.” This instinctual state includes a preemptive knowing that something is not right, the body reacts, feeding adrenaline into the system and readies for battle or retreat, as the conscious mind is trying to sort out the details and assess the situation. All this happens in an instant and is what has led to the survival of our ancestors from predatory animals. It’s all pre-programmed in us, we don’t have to think about it, it is just there, when we need it (or sometimes shows up when we don’t need it, or when it is not in our best interest, but that’s another story).

The difference from being In-the-Flow and Fight-or-Flight is that being in the flow is a calm, comprehensive focus of attention and detail with increased accuracy and performance, while fight or flight is more emergent, and therefore more awkward, panicked and reckless, most of the power for flow is seated in the brain, while fight or flight’s energies are more focused on large muscle groups.

The neural network within the heart is the initial triggering device for both fight or flight and the zone. It is triggered by impending danger or heavy importance, and it readies you to enter a state of being which far surpasses your standard state of mind.

Common to both states, once triggered, a chemical cocktail is administered containing dopamine, cotisol and noradrenaline, pushing the nervouis system into a heightened sense of awareness in preparation for calling forth your superhuman abilities.

Flow, on the other hand, adds serotonin and anandamide hormones to the mix, which takes this heightened state to a new level altogether. Serotonin, aptly coined as “the feel good hormone” and anandamide, referred to as “the bliss molecule,” create a state of excited, creative euphoria. Mix that with the heightened rising to the occasion with a sense of importance and/or danger and you have: Flow.

We hear about flow in sports circles all the time, from team sports, when a player or group of players enter the state of flow to accomplish news-making accomplishments during critical points of the game in progress. And in individual sports when there is a potential of danger, or in an attempt to secure an important high score. Either way, in these moments, nothing else exists except the task at hand, and everything else seems to slow down to accommodate your heightened state of awareness.

Creative artists, such as painters, sculptors, writers, and musicians also report countless stories of being “in the zone” in their shining moments of superior inspiration or creative genius.

Once you know about the zone, you can begin to use the zone to increase your effectiveness in achieving your highest and best, living a better life, or making the world a better place.

Mediocre Personal Best

There comes a time in your life when you look in the mirror and ask yourself, “Is this all there is?”

mediocre personal best moment of clarity

And you might just find as you contemplate the meaning and quality of your life you’ve allowed yourself to accept. At some point, you may feel incongruency with accepting a life that is mediocre at best and you begin to consider you deserve the best and you will no longer resign yourself to living a mediocre life.

You draw the line in the sand – it stops here – you know your worth and never settle for less.

Society has programmed us to find comfort in mediocrity, to never expect too much from life, commercial products or services, or other people (even those closest to us) for that matter. These low expectations have lulled us into a basic state of trance where complacency is not only acceptable but begins to feel safe, if not good. And for the most part, it’s an effective method of controlling the masses with the least amount of effort, if we can all stay in the haze of confusion feeling as though we’re all in the same soup; until you’re hit with those brief moments when the state breaks down.

Don’t worry. You are surrounded by enough hypnotic stimuli to pull you back into the trance state no matter where you are. If you’re looking at yourself in the mirror, you notice your hair, clothes, other items behind you… If you’re walking or traveling, there’s architecture, signage, cars, other people wearing different apparel… If you’re in the wilderness, there’s the sound of crickets, birds, flora and fauna to focus upon… There are the everyday concerns of life firing synapses in your brain, or your cell phone begs for your attention… and all of these are triggers that snap you back into your state of unconscious consciousness.

When you shift back into the comfortably numb soup you think, “I’m okay enough,” as you get what you settle for and you’ve resigned yourself to being okay with that, too. And there’s nothing wrong with that.

Overcoming Mediocrity

Then there are those who for whatever reason, resist returning to the state immediately, prolonging that moment of clarity. If you’re one of these people, the time may have come for you to evolve into a grander version of yourself.

You focus intensely on the inconsistencies of mediocrity and vow to never settle for less. With your undivided attention, you pledge to expect more, give, live and love more, perform better with higher efficiency and increase your quality of life to achieve your personal best.

Personal Best

As you separate yourself from the fog of acceptable compliance you begin to explore the expansiveness of all this life has to offer. Armed with your new sense of clarity you’re beginning to see things are not always as they seem. Your awareness is expanding as you start to take on individual characteristics that are uniquely you as you not only dare to be different but begin to transform and evolve into the new you, affecting every cell of your body and reprogramming your DNA.

All the while you’re attracting and acquiring new skills and abilities (some you were born with) as you explore this emerging frontier being more pliable, open and give it all you got so as not to hinder your expansion and accelerate peak flow.

To be different you refuse to accept mediocrity and never settle for less than your best as you give it all you’ve got to only settle for the best from this point forward because you deserve the best. You know that now.

And for those who continue on their path accepting mediocrity, you realize we’re all just doing the best we can with what we have. When their time comes (and it will) they will realize they don’t have to continually settle for less than the very best this life has to offer. You do not focus on the evolution of others, while you allow them the time and space to find their own way with love and acceptance.

It’s all on you as you begin to cycle and recycle through your ever emerging new personal best.

The 5 Senses of Laser Focused Concentration

By engaging all of your information receptors in the attenuation of your end result, you can avoid distraction and increase your attention to manifest anything you want giving you the ability to make all your dreams come true.

5 senses to success attraction attenuation prosperity

First of all, create a multi-dimensional experiential representation of what it is that you want to achieve.

Sight

My primary sense is visual. This is where I start to create my vision of what it is that I desire. You could find a photographic representation of what it is that you want. If it is a particular item, it is easy enough to find a photo of the item that you want… the more photos, the better. Put them in places where you find your attention throughout the day. Some places might include the refrigerator, your bathroom mirror, on top of the TV, hanging from the rear-view mirror in your car, even carrying a card-sized photo in your pocket that you can refer to throughout the day, and on the nightstand next to your bed.

If what you’re focusing on is more complex, like an idea, concept, career, mission, etc… you may need to develop a visual montage including may images, or a vision board. A vision board is a poster-board featuring a collection of many different images that represent what you want to attract.

Hearing

Next up is to create an audio representation of that which you desire to engage your ears.
If it is a thing, like a new Harley Davidson Motorcycle, make an MP3 (CD or mix tape) compilation of songs about riding on your motorcycle with a sound clip of the vroom-vroom (or guttural potato-potato-potato) sound of the motorcycle between tracks.

Get a portable recorder and interview owners of Harley Davidson motorcycles and ask them what they like best about their bikes and listen to these periodically throughout the day.

You get the idea; you can listen to audio recordings that help you to pinpoint the attention of your auditory senses via the input device of your ears.

Use your voice to engage your ears. Nothing is more attractive to your ears than your live voice. Ever notice that when you listen to a recording of your voice, it sounds tinny in comparison to how it sounds when it resonates within your head?

Make a list, create affirmations or a mantra that you speak aloud to command the attention of your auditory interface.

Touch

Engaging your sense of touch (contact via hands, feet or skin) could take many forms…

If you desire a Harley, then a ride or test-drive would be an excellent multi-dimensional experience, but now you need something that you can touch and feel to focus your attention on throughout the day, when you may not have access to a physical representation of that which you seek.

Create and use a talisman. A talisman is a physical charm or representation of what you desire. In fact, no other company provides more talismans for potential customers than Harley Davidson. You can easily obtain a key-fob with the Harley-logo (or any other object or form from bumper-stickers to underwear)… something that you can contact to your vision periodically.

You can use any item that you want to be your talisman, including a ring, pendant, business card, silicone bracelet or wristband, a small stone or string tied around your wrist… whatever it is, it is something that you can physically touch while you daydream about your goal.

Smell

Your nose knows what it is that you want, and by entertaining your sense of smell, it can create neural pathways in the brain that engage the attention of the universe to begin to vector in all the components that are necessary to bring your desires to fruition.

In some cases, you may be able to have a multi-faceted talisman. For instance, if your Harley talisman is made of leather – the smell of the leather may be your mind’s nose candy.

If your goal is financial, maybe the scent of cash dollars engages your sense of smell in this daily exercise. Many fragrances, potpourri, incense, essential oil scents or other items that are pleasant odiferous representations your desire(s) can be used to sniff your way to success.

Taste

You might find it difficult to think of way to have your goal create an association with your mouth and tongue but it is a lot easier than you might think.

In our Harley-example, you might associate the motorcycle with an energy drink (or some other non-alcoholic drink).

There are a variety of hard candies or chewing gums that come in a wide variety of flavors; some which you have never tasted. You can select one of these flavored-items (that you have not tasted before, so that the taste is not associated with anything else from your past) to represent you wildest dream(s). Focusing on what you want while you excite your flavor receptors will increase your laser focus.

Attraction Attenuation

By engaging all five senses, you attune your vibration to that which you seek. Just the fact that you have the desire means the universe has already matched this desire to you. Now, all that is left is for you match your vibration to what seems illusive. It has already taken place; you just need to do the work to align yourself to the end result.

Get the sense that your senses can get you from here to there, and they will.