Psychopath Victims helps and supports those who have suffered abuse from psychopaths, sociopaths or other predators on the Anti-Social Personality Disorder (ASPD) spectrum. Suffering at the hands of a psychopath can have devastating results. At the very least, they can drain all of your energy, leaving you broken and alone and they may have drained all of your financial resources, leaving you broke and alone.
If you think you might be suffering at the hands of a psychopath, it might be a good idea to know how to identify whether the person responsible for your suffering is a psychopath. So, how can you identify a psychopath?
Here are some signs that you might be dealing with a psychopath:
Psychopaths are charismatic and are able to attract supporters easily. They are wonderful speakers who are able to engage their audience who can easily engage the emotions and attention of those fortunate enough to be in their presence. They exaggerate stories skewing the truth for their self-serving benefit, and will go as far as to lie and place themselves in someone else’s story and claiming it is their own.
Psychopaths are intellectual. They have a gift of having incredibly sharp wit and intelligence enabling them to masquerade as highly-educated, bob and weave in live situations. This also makes them excellent con artists able to conceive, plan and execute elaborate schemes, while (mostly) staying one step ahead of the authorities.
Psychopaths are devoid of feelings. They do not grieve, are in capable of feeling guilt, shame or remorse, empowering them to easily victimize anyone. They will enthusiastically engage in anything that bolsters their position at someone else’s expense. They do not love. They are incapable of giving or receiving love, but terribly acute at acting as though they are in the throes of love, if it will help them achieve a desired result. They are great actors/performers with no real feelings whatsoever.
Psychopaths are impulsive, often acting or speaking without thinking through potential consequences of their words or actions, and are more likely to take risks, being free of repercussion, since they see themselves as above the law or the constraints of the social norm.
Psychopaths never lose. They will dominate anyone who gets in their way, will vehemently defend their position, often by telling lies and spinning wild tales in an effort to discredit naysayers.
Psychopaths are never wrong. They never apologize; do not feel remorse for hurting others and are incapable of feeling guilt. If asked to apologize, will often strike out and attack their victim, rather than admit they may have made a mistake or misstep.
Psychopaths believe their own press. Once they have said something, it becomes gospel in their mind; so much so, that they can often believe their own bold-faced lies, even to the point of being able to pass a lie detector test. They keep a long list of secrets, and are not forthcoming about intimate details of their past, unless they are fictitious.
In most all cases, the victims invariably ask, “Why me?” This is often followed by feelings of self-doubt, taking responsibility for the loss to the extent of blaming themselves and even self-ridicule.
The truth is, it is not your responsibility, any more than it may have been your responsibility for being hit by a drunk driver; except in this case the drunk driver did carefully seek you out and ran over you on purpose!
If your currently in a relationship with a psychopath (either professional or personal) you might ask, “Why not have the psychopath seek treatment?” You might think that your psychopath is not truly a psychopath, but simply displaying the symptoms of psychopathic behavior due to some life circumstance.
You are an authentic human being and you would not purposely do something to harm or defraud another person, so why would this person of whom you are quite fond of – and may even love – act out in such a nefarious fashion? Surely he (or she) would not treat someone who cares about them so much this way unless there was some deep-seated issues that caused them to act-out like this…
Certainly, normal people may temporarily act in a manner similar to that of a psychopath if under some extreme type of stress, but for the psychopath it is a life-long condition and there is no successful form of treatment for their psychological disposition.
That is why specific coaches and counselors specialize in reaching out to and supporting victims of psychopaths. This is a special calling. Victims of psychopaths have a wide range of pain, needs, resources and options. The range of techniques and tools available vary significantly based on each individual circumstance.
The needs of the victim whose relationship has been forever severed are completely different from the needs of someone who must navigate an ongoing relationship with a psychopath.
Click Here for tips on How to Deal With a Psychopath
Okay, I have received some notoriety and obtained a level of expertise thanks to my interactions with a psychopath.
Believe me when I say, I would have rather avoided the whole affair and remained in my naïve little world concept believing that all people were basically good, with the capacity to love, if only given half a chance.
Because of my particular level of expertise people seek me out for information and support in the areas of psychopathy and dealing with predators along the Anti-social Personality Disorder spectrum (ASPD). In my work as a coach/counselor I will take on clients who are embroiled in the psychopathic struggle. Though I restrict my work with psychopaths and/or victims of psychopaths to a ten percent limit.
Limiting my work to 10% in regard to dealing with psychopaths and their victims keeps me from getting distracted from my main mission of helping others achieve their highest and best.
Doesn’t life seem to want to do that to us all? To throw us off-track and distract us from our life’s purpose?
It’s as if, when you’re just getting your life on the right path and everything seems to be just right, that something knocks you off kilter, derailing your train of thought (or life’s progress, altogether).
When I do engage in psychopath-work, I usually find myself in service to a particular segment within the psychopathic community. Victims of psychopathic predators are the people who need the most help getting back on their feet, though it is important to note that not all psychopaths are predators (even though this is their natural inclination) and victimizers.
I find myself also working with psychopaths who lead normal lives, serving the community at large in beneficial occupations and providing enormous value to the world. As hard as it may be for them, they continue to work hard at staying focused on living a “normal” life; they also, seek out people like me for assistance.
Diagnosing a psychopath is difficult work. It can consume the lives of the psychologists and psychologists who work with them. For victims – or potential victims – of a psychopathic predator, it is of primary importance to
#1 – Identify the psychopath
So, I’ve devised a short list of attributes to quickly identify a potential predator who is a psychopath. Here is is the short list:
3. NO FEELINGS
6. NEVER WRONG
While this list is not complete by any means, it is an effective way to quickly identify a psychopath, enabling the victim to take action (which is the next step).
What if the predator is not actually a psychopath?
Does it really matter? Shouldn’t the victim take steps to protect themselves as quickly as possible to eliminate additional suffering and loss?
#2 – Take immediate action
The best way to deal with a psychopath is to take immediate action to protect yourself. Here is my short-list of steps you can take:
1. NO CONTACT
2. GET HELP
3. BE QUIET
4. STAY STRONG
6. FORGIVE YOURSELF
Hello, my name is David Masters and I’m the author of the Psychopath Victims Toolkit.
A little about me, I’ve been counseling and consulting since the late seventies/early eighties. Occasionally, in the course of my coaching, I would encounter a client that had to mitigate the damages in their life due to the influence of a third-party individual, a “bad person.”
From my perspective, there were no such thing as bad people, just lost souls wandering aimlessly through life with little regard for others; and so, the advice that I gave to individuals in those days was very different than I might suggest now.
What I learned, was that there are people who are devoid of particular mental, emotional and spiritual components that compromise their humanity when integrating with other persons, we call these people psychopaths, sociopaths and the recent, more political correctly referred to as being on the Antisocial Personality Disorder spectrum.
That said, there are thousands of variables and no two psychopaths are identical, but they do share many similar characteristics.
So, how can you tell if you’re dealing with a psychopath? Here are some common signs that would indicate that you might be dealing with a psychopath in your life:
Psychopaths are charismatic and are able to attract supporters easily.
They are wonderful speakers who are able to engage their audience and can easily engage the emotions and attention of those fortunate enough to be in their presence.
They exaggerate stories skewing the truth for their self-serving benefit and will go as far as to lie and place themselves in someone else’s story and claiming it is their own.
Psychopaths are intellectual. They have a gift of having incredibly sharp wit and intelligence enabling them to masquerade as highly-educated as they bob and weave socially in live situations.
This also makes them excellent con artists able to conceive, plan and execute elaborate schemes, while staying one step ahead of the authorities.
3. NO FEELINGS
Psychopaths have no feelings. They do not grieve, are incapable of feeling guilt, shame or remorse, empowering them to easily victimize anyone. They will enthusiastically engage in anything that bolsters their position at someone else’s expense.
They do not love. They are incapable of giving or receiving love, but terribly acute at acting as though they are madly “in love,” if it will help them achieve a desired result.
They are great actors/performers giving them the ability to create any perception of themselves that will achieve for them their desired result.
Even though they can appear to have emotions and use them as tools to manipulate their victims, let there be no doubt, they have no real feelings whatsoever.
Psychopaths are impulsive, often acting or speaking without thinking through potential consequences of their words or actions, and are more likely to spontaneously take risks.
They are free of repercussion since they see themselves as above the law or the constraints of the social norm. No social filters, consequences or guilt.
Psychopaths never lose. They will dominate anyone who gets in their way, will viciously defend their position, often by telling lies and spinning wild tales in an effort to discredit anyone with the inclination to disagree with them.
If you are naïve enough to challenge them, be aware that they will wield their powers of persuasion to make you look like a fool for questioning them. Which presumes that they believe themselves to be:
6. NEVER WRONG
Psychopaths are always right. They never apologize; do not feel remorse for hurting others and are incapable of feeling guilt.
If asked to apologize, a psychopath will often strike out and attack their victim, rather than admit they may have made a mistake or misstep.
Now ask yourself, is the person you’re dealing with a psychopath?
Are they charismatic, smart, have no feelings, impulsive, always the winner and never wrong?
Chances are, you’re face-to-face with a psychopath.
You’re probably saying to yourself, “I knew it. I knew there was something wrong with that person…” You are realizing that you should rely more on your intuition that may have been warning you when you first met this person that something was not quite right. If only we learn to listen more to our gut, we would live happier, safe and secure lives, free from those who seek to exploit us.
If nothing else, that is the lesson to be learned from encountering a psychopath, is to trust your instincts and to not let yourself be taken advantage of by a cunning predator.
I would not, now, be an expert in the field of psychopathy had I not had my own first-hand experience with an evil psychopath that opened my eyes to the realities of the disorder. And now I have deep regret for all the folks that I was ill-equipped to be compassionate enough to reach out to them appropriately.
In this way, I may have attracted this psychopathic presence in my own life to benefit those whom it is my calling to assist along their life’s journey.
So, we’ve established that you have found yourself to be the unfortunate victim – or mark – of a psychopath, sociopath or someone amidst the antisocial personality disorder spectrum…
What Can You Do About It?
How to Deal With a Psychopath
1. NO CONTACT
The very first thing to do is to create as much separation as you can as soon as possible between yourself and the psychopath.
You need to distance yourself physically, financially, emotionally, spiritually and in any other way possible from the psychopath and cease any and all communication with him or her, period.
Any further communication or contact after correctly identifying a psychopath will only lead to more risk or potential loss to you and yours.
Be aware that as you distance yourself, the psychopath will try to cling to you or play on your emotions in order to further victimize you. Do not fall for their manipulation or pity ploys from this point forward. They will try to appeal to your feeling but keep in mind they have no feelings and no regard for yours, except as a method to further victimize you.
You must cut them off. No contact, means no contact. Though this may not be possible, if you work or live with the psychopath; but that will be an issue to be handled specifically and independently of the scope of this primary message.
2. GET HELP
Next, you will need a strong support system. You should seek out a professional, a counselor or therapist, with experience in dealing with psychopaths. Note that early in my practice, even though individuals sought me out for assistance, I was ill-equipped to offer them the support that they needed at the time.
How can someone understand what you are going through if they do not understand what you are going through… because – and I am as guilty of this as anyone – “things can’t really be all that bad.” But they are, and they can be very bad, and they can get worse if you do not take the appropriate actions.
Seek out a specialist, or at least someone with experience dealing with victims of psychopaths.
3. BE QUIET
Do not talk to your friends about the psychopath. You might think this is a good time to reach out to those in your circle of friends that you can depend on for support, but chances are (if the psychopath has done his or her homework) they have already gotten to them in advance.
If your friends have not been compromised by the psychopath, there is a good chance that they will be, and be forewarned very few people can compete with the ability to manipulate the minds of the unsuspecting, like the psychopath.
Keep things quiet. Do not confront your psychopath, engage in a battle of wits, challenge or attempt an intervention with your psychopath. This will only open you up for further potential pain, suffering, and potential loss.
They psychopath has the uncanny ability to turn anything that you say against you. Don’t give them the opportunity.
4. STAY STRONG
Stay the course. If the psychopath has counter-attacks you, don’t respond.
If you communicate anything to this person it should only be silence. Be steadfast and unshakeable, solid as a rock.
He or she must realize that you cannot be manipulated or be bullied into making any kind of response, no matter what they do or say.
Keep a good posture, positive outlook, smile and be confident (even if you don’t feel like it) at all times.
Any indication of weakness will be seen as an opportunity either to insert themselves or launch another attack.
Document everything. Keep hard copies of everything you can to document any interaction or statements made by your psychopath and keep it at a secure location.
Watch what you say. Act as if every word you speak is being recorded, and may be read to a jury in the future word-for-word, twisting your words and spun out of context in an effort to make you look like a lunatic.
Maybe someday the people who once trusted you will see the truth, but even so, if your psychopath was a masterful one, they will still wonder about you, even after the true colors of the psychopath are made known.
So, don’t hold onto the false hope of one day being vilified of all the illicit accusations that were made against you. In most cases the effects are permanent, though may fade over time. Maybe, in the afterlife…
6. FORGIVE YOURSELF
Most of all, forgive yourself. You were not the perpetrator, here, you were the victim. And as a victim, you may have found yourself invulnerable or compromising situations, and you may feel like the fool. But you were not the fool. Anyone could be victimized by the proficient psychopath and it happens every day in all walks of life and levels of society.
You could not have seen this coming… but now that you are aware, you are less likely to become a victim again… and maybe you can help others to see the signs – or at least be aware – that there are evil people out there, the virtual wolves in sheep’s clothing, who seek to destroy the lives of others without remorse.
Thank you for joining me for this message. It is my hope that this information will help to save you and other from further potential pain, suffering or loss at the hands of the psychopath. Pass this information on to others who may be potential victims.