When Bad Stuff Happens

What can you do when bad stuff happens?

Life is not always going to be great. No matter how spiritually evolved you might be or bullet-proof you might feel, occasionally, life will catch you off-guard, bad stuff will happen, and you’ll find yourself amidst yet another psychological challenge.

Why do people do what they do?
(Don’t ask why.)
What can you do about it?
(Better question.)

Don’t let your public image of yourself keep you from expressing your concerns about the bad stuff that happens and things are bothering you. This is your egoic mind-trip trying to take over your life again, and you’re not falling for it this time. Find someone you can trust to talk out your frustrations or write about those things that are bothering you in a private notebook.

Don’t bottle it up inside, discover ways to release the pressure because pent-up emotions can destroy your otherwise healthy, happy life. Think about taking a break from you otherwise calm demeanor and have a 3-minute rant.

Remember you always can choose how you respond to any unexpected circumstance which arises or how to respond to any bad news when it is encountered. Stop and think about your options before you give in to unbridled emotional outburst.

Look at the situation from a higher perspective. Apply wonder to and question what’s going on. How might God look at what’s happening? Is there some more grand purpose behind what’s happening right now? Is this bringing awareness to something that has been allowed to go on for far too long? Could something ultimately far better emerge from the current state of affairs?

Think about it… you’re probably not the only one who sees and feels frustration is this situation or circumstance. Someone else is feeling the same thing about this somewhere else, right now. In this moment you are connected, even if on the other side of the world. Many others, possibly millions, may be connected to the event in question. The way you choose to handle this will affect the other person’s or people’s ability to handle this, and vice versa. We’re all in this together.

Your feelings about this may make you more a part of the problem than the solution. Be proactive, turn this thing around and ask, “What can I do, right now, to make this better?” Think about it; and take action. Write a letter. Make a donation. Find a way to apply love to that which is troubling you.

See this as a part of your journey. Often obstacles or challenges which catch us off guard are a method of getting our attention, redirecting our path, or preventing us from suffering an even more devastating situation. This may be preparing you for a more difficult challenge up ahead, or you may be learning a valuable lesson or skill through this scenario. Look for the blessing.

Remember, everything is connected and perfect.

Don’t let this slow your roll. You got this.

Love you.

What Stands Between You?

You already know you need to stop putting things off, watch news and the tube less, and stop participating in activities that are pure time-suckers. You know you need to be more proactive, set goals and deadlines to achieve them. And if you’re more aware, you know you need a system to track your progress and increase your accountability when it comes to doing the things that need to be done to create your highest and best.

Okay, you know what you need to do, you can see it clearly over there, on the other side of the crevasse which stands between where you are and where you know you want to be.

If you really want to get from here, you need to take a look at what stands between you and where you want to be. Here are some of the things that may be keeping you from having what you really want (what you really, really want):

You’re Afraid

Fear is probably the number one thing that stands between you and what you want, it is by far the most powerful influencer in the mind of all human beings. And in terms of making changes to your life, fear of change, and fear of failure are at the top of the list.

And at any point, if you decide to bail out on pursuing your dreams, there is a mob of folks waiting to welcome you back to your life of mediocrity, they’ll hug you, kiss you, tell you how sorry they are for you, they’ll make you chicken soup and nurse you back to mediocrity any way they can.

The best lives are enjoyed by those who have forged their own trail, conquering their fears along the way, knowing that the road ahead is going to be a challenge.

The road may be longer than you thought it would be, have more twists and turns, and you might even take a wrong turn every now and again, but you must start the journey and follow it wherever it leads if you want to get to where you want to be.

Paralysis of Analysis

Sometimes you can get so lost in the study or preparation of a thing that you become frozen in time and space. There is so much to learn, there’s always another book, seminar, class, workshop, a course of study, or guru who you’d like to meet that stands between you and where you want to be.

As prepared as you could possibly be, you could not possibly anticipate anything that might appear on your radar along the way. And if you tried to study and prepare for any possible scenario, chances are you’ll be lost in the prep and never feel prepared enough to confidently leave.

You’ve got to be ready and willing to act on what you have, and gather more information along the way. Otherwise, you will remain stagnant, a victim of the paralysis of analysis. If you run into an unexpected challenge along the way, you just have to do what every other expansion explorer does, scramble like hell, reach out to others, try to figure out a way to get around it, or slay the dragon and keep moving.

Lack of Motivation

If you really want to change your life, you need to be willing and committed to your continuing to make progress even if you’re not feeling it. Motivation is great, but it is often fleeting, what then?

That’s when your true character shines through, you can be a whiner or a winner. Your choice. If you’re going to pick up your toys and run home to mommy, that’s okay, maybe it’s not your time to be the winner. But if it’s your time to dominate your life and emerge the triumphant victorious winner you were always destined to be… Keep going, even if you don’t feel like it.

Winners make their doingness a habit, which requires no motivation. Doing isn’t just what you do, it’s who you are.

Passivity

There is a huge trend toward using, “Whatever,” as a general excuse for anything that might not turn out the way you like as if it justifies walking away from anything because “shit happens.” And there are a thousand excuses that will sound like it justifies your quitting.

You just can’t have that attitude, if you really want what you really want. If it’s true, and you want it, and you think you can to what it takes to get it, you won’t be dissuaded by the first obstacle that shows up and say something like, “Oh, I guess that just wasn’t meant for me.”

No, it was meant for you, you just bailed out on getting what you wanted. What stands between you and what you want is not, “Whatever,” it’s you.

If it’s you, then start practicing doing things. Make a commitment to do something every day – no matter what – and do it. It doesn’t have to be anything big. It could be something like making your bed every day, or writing in your journal every night, and prove to yourself that you can learn to do something without letting life’s excuses get in the way.

Slow and Easy Wins the Race

Don’t take off in a full sprint toward achieving what you want. It’s better to take small steps toward what you want than no steps at all, and making continual progress assures that every day you are getting closer to what you want.

Sometimes, the over-ambitious person has a clear vision of what they want and they take off with the fervent expectation to be able to get there quickly because it is so clear to them, that they could actually reach out and touch it. Then, fail from utter exhaustion, possibly warranting a trip in an ambulance, then having to start over again from scratch, if they survive the ordeal.

(I did that once in Vegas. From the strip, I said, “Look! There’s the Rio, I’ll race you there…” My friend and I started out… It looked so clear, so close. Not my best moment, but a great analogy, eh?)

When is Now the Time for You to Start

You are ready. In fact, you’ve never been so ready. If you readied any longer, you’d start to rot.

You know what you want. Now go get it.

But keep your wits about you, be cautious but keep going, slow and steady.

What you do today brings you so much closer to what you want.

What are you going to do?

Hit the Wall for a Change

Invariably when you’re in the process of growing and expanding into the higher version of yourself, your evolutionary process of you, and, “Wham!” You hit the wall.

Just when you least expected, here you are facing someone, something, some situation, circumstance, or even yourself in the mirror, and you ask, “How the hell did I get here?” (of all places).

Get ready for a rude awakening: This is for your highest and best, and this process will lead you to change. Yes you. Even if it looks like it has nothing to do with you, moving past this obstacle will take a change, maybe outside yourself, but you will have to change first before you can change anything outside of you.

If you can wrap your head around that whenever you find yourself up against any obstacle, seek what you can change inside first, then seek to deal with the whatever it is head on, you are so far ahead of the game.

Obstacles which interrupt our flow are indicators that we have something within that needs tending to, even if it’s not specifically associated with this obstacle. It may be to equip you with a skill to prepare you for something else further down the road.

What? Me change?

Your belief system might be resistant to change. Say the words out loud, “It’s okay for me to change.” Check in with your feelings. How does it make you feel about the idea of embracing change?

It’s really no surprise really, it’s a part of your genetic, cellular memory that was firmly set in place generations ago, when change was dangerous. Survival was based on a strong sense of maintaining a small community, with staying in the same location, supported by the same people, doing, thinking and being pretty much the same. Straying and exerting individuality could lead to loss of health and/or one’s life.

Things have changed and your changing leads to your expansion and evolution into the highest and best version of yourself.

Try being open to the idea of change, even embracing it. All it takes is a little allowing. Change doesn’t have to be forcible. I mean, if you aren’t open to change, you will still be susceptible to it, when it is forced upon you. If you think about it, you know it’s true.

Grounding yourself in a solid place where you are open, allowing change, receiving all the good things, including lessons waiting to be revealed to you, is so much better than fighting for your right to resist.

Think about what allowing change might look like. It can look like allowing people or things to leave your life, including ideals, thoughts and feelings about the past and the things associated with them. You can also allow new things to be revealed and come into your life.

You can allow yourself to want things you may have never wanted before. You can allow yourself to try something new, create something, or think differently. Allow the letting go or ideas or things you held onto tightly in the past and allow new thoughts and things pour over you, like a gentle rain.

You’re open to new possibilities, even if superficial, such as a change of shampoo, hair color, career, even relocation.

A deeper sense of change is initiated by the heart. Heart-felt change is powered by love. This is the most meaningful moment of change, a paradigm shift.

So, think about it…

What change is on the horizon for you?

It very likely holds the keys to unlock many doors.

You ready?