Tag: overcoming

When Bad Stuff Happens

What can you do when bad stuff happens?

Life is not always going to be great. No matter how spiritually evolved you might be or bullet-proof you might feel, occasionally, life will catch you off-guard, bad stuff will happen, and you’ll find yourself amidst yet another psychological challenge.

Why do people do what they do?
(Don’t ask why.)
What can you do about it?
(Better question.)

Don’t let your public image of yourself keep you from expressing your concerns about the bad stuff that happens and things are bothering you. This is your egoic mind-trip trying to take over your life again, and you’re not falling for it this time. Find someone you can trust to talk out your frustrations or write about those things that are bothering you in a private notebook.

Don’t bottle it up inside, discover ways to release the pressure because pent-up emotions can destroy your otherwise healthy, happy life. Think about taking a break from you otherwise calm demeanor and have a 3-minute rant.

Remember you always can choose how you respond to any unexpected circumstance which arises or how to respond to any bad news when it is encountered. Stop and think about your options before you give in to unbridled emotional outburst.

Look at the situation from a higher perspective. Apply wonder to and question what’s going on. How might God look at what’s happening? Is there some more grand purpose behind what’s happening right now? Is this bringing awareness to something that has been allowed to go on for far too long? Could something ultimately far better emerge from the current state of affairs?

Think about it… you’re probably not the only one who sees and feels frustration is this situation or circumstance. Someone else is feeling the same thing about this somewhere else, right now. In this moment you are connected, even if on the other side of the world. Many others, possibly millions, may be connected to the event in question. The way you choose to handle this will affect the other person’s or people’s ability to handle this, and vice versa. We’re all in this together.

Your feelings about this may make you more a part of the problem than the solution. Be proactive, turn this thing around and ask, “What can I do, right now, to make this better?” Think about it; and take action. Write a letter. Make a donation. Find a way to apply love to that which is troubling you.

See this as a part of your journey. Often obstacles or challenges which catch us off guard are a method of getting our attention, redirecting our path, or preventing us from suffering an even more devastating situation. This may be preparing you for a more difficult challenge up ahead, or you may be learning a valuable lesson or skill through this scenario. Look for the blessing.

Remember, everything is connected and perfect.

Don’t let this slow your roll. You got this.

Love you.

Overcoming Addictive Behavior

You probably have succumbed to an addictive behavior in the past. For some of us, our personal resolve is so great that all we need to do is to say, “I quit,” and we don’t do it again. For others, overcoming addictive behavior can be a struggle, sometimes a life-long struggle.

Some of us have the personal strength and fortitude to quit engaging in a particular activity which might not be in our best interest using little more than sheer determination and integrity. If you’ve done this, you might have simply said to yourself, “I said I wouldn’t do it, so I won’t” when faced with the opportunity to reengage in the addictive behavior.

Then there are others who have a more difficult time with it. A first blush, you might consider these people as weak, especially if you’ve easily overcome an activity in the past. But the truth is, these people who struggle with addiction are actually very powerful at manifesting.

We are energetic beings and our bodies resonate at a particular frequency based on the desires of our heart. People can study this phenomenon for years to try to master their vibrational frequency in order to rise to heightened state of awareness and love.

Whatever your vibrational frequency is set for, easily attracts the opportunities and things which are a vibrational match for the frequency you are maintaining.

For instance, if you are mostly in a state of mind where you think, “I never have enough money to make the ends meet,” you will attract situations and things to match the vibration of your thoughts. If these thoughts are commonly prevalent, you will find this the basis of your life, constantly struggling with your lack of resources.

People who desire to change their frequency and raise their vibration can do so my many methods starting with the way they think, because your thoughts set the tone of your vibration. For some, this comes easily, for others, they could use a little help.

Tools are available via coaching, counseling, various therapies, social groups, religions, and drugs for those who need a hand getting from where they are to where they want to be.

Religion is a powerful frequency adjuster. I started by work in the ministry in a Christian drug and alcohol program helping teens overcome their addictions. This method, still today, has the lowest recidivism rate of any addiction treatment. God is a powerful intervention for addiction, or for people who want to change their lives from one lifestyle to another.

Having a propensity for addictive behavior is a common indication the addict is compensating for some fear, pain, or trauma by numbing it with the addiction which distracts one’s consciousness enough to make it through life ignoring the things from the past, so they can just keep moving along through life the best they can.

Addicts do not sacrifice their quality of life due to their addictions but by their inability to deal with the underlying issues from which they are fearful. Which may be the underlying cause of death by natural causes.

It’s easy to blame addictions on trends of family, culture, personality, brain activity, DNA, or any other popular trend of the day which justifies addictive behavior. But as those of us who are active in the transformative work of overcoming addictive behavior know, addiction is the unconscious preferred method of coping with underlying, deep inner wounds which are buried and left to fester inside.

Addictions help to soothe the pain from these deep inner wounds. For those who have ceased to participate in a particular addiction, if they have not dealt with the inner wound(s) which caused the patient to seek relief in addiction, they are likely to replace the former addiction with another addiction.

It’s easy to fall into the trap of judging and ranking addictions, as some addictive behaviors are more socially acceptable than others. For instance, it’s more socially acceptable to be addicted to alcohol than crack cocaine. Or it might be considered to be better to be addicted to food than cigarettes.

The true freedom that comes from overcoming addictions is in the liberation which comes from identifying, dealing with and clearing the shadows, hidden traumas, and wounds from our past.

The most effective surgical tools for cutting out these pervasive inner infected psychological wounds (which are potentially more dangerous than any known disease) are forgiveness and love.

Overcoming addictive behaviors can be the key to eliminating the blockages which might be preventing you from achieving your highest and best.

Doing this deep inner work can lead to living a life of love and changing your vibrational frequency. This leads to a massive change of life and love enabling you to live a better life, your best life and making the world a better place in this high state of love.

 

What If Nobody Could Hurt You?

What if nobody could ever hurt you, ever again?

If you’ve ever been in a knock down drag out fight you know what it feels like to be hit by someone. Adrenaline and other hormones cascade overwhelming your state of being as you as immediately find yourself in fight or flight. Being part of a brutal smackdown is no fun and the trauma, pain, and suffering that comes from the physical abuse can endure and cause even more suffering as you try to heal from the event over time.

How curious is it when we are similarly affected by the spoken words of someone?

When you feel as though someone has disrespected, insulted, ignored, judged, or rejected you, BAM! Just as though you’d been kicked in the guts, all the pain, emotional and physical with all the feelings and hormone overload.

When this happens to you, those words, which cut like a knife, were likely spoken by someone you love, trust, or highly regard. They could be your partner, a family member, a child, a neighbor, someone you work with or for. Because you are more connected to these people than others in your life, their words cut the deepest, can crush you, and leave your heart bleeding in pain and sorrow.

Those you care about the most hurt you the most

The concept, “those you care about the most hurt you the most” rings true.

Interestingly enough, this concept was programmed into your psyche since the day you were born. Based on your life experience, you learned to love and depend on others. Early on, you realized that if you disappointed the people you loved and trusted to take care of you, they would turn on you, leaving you in a state of fear and suffering.

That’s where it starts, and it grows as you trust and are betrayed by those who you love and care for along the way, when all you really wanted was to be accepted, respected, and loved for no other reason than you love others. Family, friends, lovers, fellow students, teachers, and others in your circle of influence. Why can’t they just love you back?

We have been programmed to value the opinion of others so highly that the slightest threat of potentially not being highly regarded by someone we care about can threaten our very sense of existence. Our feelings are hurt. We can either strike back and start an all-out war of words (or worse), and if we’re unable to strike back (for fear of being hurt even worse), we find someone else who we are stronger than to strike out at to release the angst inside. Or we can find ourselves sinking to the depths of depression, even contemplating suicide as a way out of the pain.

You were socially programmed to want what others want, to desire to do the things that others do with them as a part of the crowd. Giving you a sense of belonging, in the belief there is safety and security by being accepted by others, for to be alone would be potentially dangerous, or too much to bear.

This social programming has been a disservice to your highest and best because you were meant for so much more than just being just another sheep in the herd.

Blessed are those who were raised in an empowered sense of individuality and personal awareness. They possess the power of seeing themselves as separate, and in the best-case scenarios, also see themselves as part of the greater whole of community and humanity, though these days this represents a very small percentage of us.

To expect someone to know and appreciate you for all that you are sets you up for disappointment and failure, and your feelings will always be hurt because no one can ever know and appreciate you as much as you do.

Likewise, no matter how hard you try, you can’t fully “get” anyone else. So much goes on inside the heart and mind of everyone that you will never know. Just like when you are silent, your mind keeps working and think thoughts you might never convert to spoken word.

What’s the answer?

There is great personal power in realizing that what anyone thinks or says about you has nothing to do with you at all. It’s about them.

You know that you are always intentionally authentic, open, honest, and want the best for everyone in your life. You know you are always worthy of the best things in this life, and you would never do anything intentionally to hurt anyone you cared about. You don’t need anyone else’s validation of these things because you know them to be true. Your knowledge of and confidence in you is unshakeable.

From this vantage point, if someone barks something that might have hurt your feelings in the past, you can feel compassion for the person who felt like he or she had to react in such a say. And instead of being threatened or hurt by what they said or did, you can just look at them lost in their own life-struggle and think (or say, if appropriate), “That’s interesting.”

You know you can respond with love and compassion because you know that you were like that too.

You are emotionally resilient and bulletproof.

You are no longer a victim of anyone else’s disrespect or abuse.

You don’t have to defend yourself or strike back because they didn’t actually do or say anything that could hurt you. You can bless them because you know they are just doing the best they can with what they have.

 

Coming Out of the Darkness

You’re a good person. The world needs you. These days? You’re nowhere to be found. You’ve suffered incredible pain, sorrow, and sometimes it feels like you just can’t go on another day. Yet, you know it is time for your coming out of the darkness.

Life and love are laying in wait, buried deep inside you, waiting for the moment you set them free. You, your special gifts, abilities, passionate voice, and unencumbered love are waiting to be let loose. The day has come, and you know it to be true.

No one would blame you for pulling back, withdrawing from the flow, or taking a sabbatical, all necessary for you to heal and recalibrate after all you’ve been through but the time has come for you to reclaim your birthright and reemerge better than you were before, with more love, life, and vitality.

You have survived the most horribly ostentatious challenges. You have survived. And the world needs you now more than ever.

The time has come for you to live a better life, your best life, and make the world a better place.

If you’re having trouble remembering what really living was all about, find an enthusiastic, vibrant and exciting child to play with. Remember what life was all about. These little people aren’t restrained by all the trappings of life and see everything as amazing and fun. Playing with a child will help to awaken the child in you who is waiting to come out and play.

Reach out. Make friends. Let your light shine and help to improve the lives around. Start small, be there for one person, then another, and another. Build your organic network one person at a time. It’s okay to be cautious but be fearless and lead with love.

Start giving. Find opportunities to volunteer helping others and enjoy the benefits of performing random acts of kindness. Your giving doesn’t have to be huge, it can be infinitesimally small, starting a chain reaction which changes the world for good.

Look for and find reasons to celebrate the good things in life, even if seemingly insignificant. The time has come for you to celebrate good times. Come on. Invite your inner child to come out and party with you.

You’ve learned powerful lessons from your past and this education came at great emotional expense but now is the time to look for the good, happiness and joy which is all around waiting to reveal all the good things in life to you.

Everything has led to this moment and you are ready.

It’s time to put yourself out there. The new and improved you, ready to believe and achieve your highest and best.

Get a grip on your Purpose, Message, Passion, and Mission (PMPM) and prepare to start singing your song proud and out loud.

A whole new world of possibilities is waiting for you.

I am here for you, the whole world is here for you, all the angels and energy in the universe is on your side.

Now is the time to celebrate your coming out of the darkness and into the light, emerging in love and light.

You got this… Now, more than ever.

Shield of Fear

When you take a look at the things which are holding you back from all the best things in life, you are likely to discover they are things associated with your past. Your shadow-self clings to the negative things which you have endured in your past and uses them as a shield of fear to protect you from falling victim to a similar scenario again.

Your body and your mind think the shield of fear is an effective method of protecting you from suffering, and on the surface, it seems perfectly reasonable, and so it is. Then, there is your highest self, who intuitively knows what is best for you.

Your highest self sees what’s really going on. Clinging to all this negativity is actually blocking you from the strength that comes from freedom from all the things that might be holding you back and enjoying all the best things this life has to offer.

The things from your past which you use as a protective shield from potential harm also shield you from other possibilities which are presenting themselves for you to grow and expand.

Thankfully, God will keep presenting opportunities which trigger the connection to these early hidden wounds, as opportunities to dig down, find the elemental anchor, and deal with the issue, enabling you to be free from the previous incident (anchor) so you can grow, expand, and be open to all the new possibilities which are longing to be enjoyed by you.

When you feel a negative emotional upheaval, this may be your shadow-self hard at work trying to protect you from suffering pain, as you may have previously experienced some traumatic incident from your past. Once you identify the root cause of the emotional surge, you have the opportunity to address the issue just as if you were on fire, you can stop, drop and roll.

Just realizing the anchoring issue can give you some initial relief. If you are able to bring up the anchoring incident and find the learning, wisdom, and/or gift embedded in the incident (for there always is, if you can allow yourself to seek and find the hidden message) you can,

Stop, Drop and Roll

Stop allowing this incident from the past to block you from all the positive potentialities which are ready to reveal themselves to you.

Drop this issue (these issues), not allowing people, demons, wounds, or memories from the past which haunt and control you like a hot rock. You are no longer the victim of your past, so you can,

Roll out the red carpet and start living the life you’ve always wanted, and which has been waiting for you all this time. You are really on a roll, now, and into your most amazing future where your best life is waiting for you.

You are able to grow and expand unencumbered by the shadows of your past.

Is it a one-time, one-size-fits-all cure-all? No. It is an ongoing process because once you’ve uncovered your first anchor(s), you have now become aware of them, and they will present more opportunities for you to eliminate other elements of your shadow-self as they are brought to your attention.

This is challenging and exciting work to embark upon as you consider tackling the deep inner work which is the key to your enlightened expansion, allowing you to be truly free indeed from the shackles which band many of our brothers and sisters who share the human condition.

Celebrate your freedom from the shadows of your past, as you live a better life, your best life and make the world a better place.

Overcoming Addictive Behaviors

As you grow and expand into a more evolved version of your formal self, there is a compulsion to separate the new you from the old you and the trappings which have enslaved you, because nothing satisfies more than overcoming addictive behaviors and being the master of your own life.

Now, compulsory thoughts, actions and habits are appearing to feel more like addictions than enjoyable activities or pastimes, and you’re intrigued with the idea of moving forward in search of freedom from anything that might enslave or imprison you.

There’s little else I love as much as seeing one of my clients and friends overcoming the rituals or habits that held them back from their enlightened independence, and to tell the truth, I am excited that you have decided to let go of a particular addiction that you have in mind, right now.

You’ve thought about it. You have it in mind. You may have even voiced your thoughts or concern about growing beyond this to your friends and family. That’s a good move, because it raises the accountability factor, putting a little added pressure to your commitment to successfully putting this habit or activity behind you. Hopefully, your family and friends will support you in this evolutionary process, and this can have an amazing impact on your success.

You may have to make adjustments to your lifestyle to avoid exposure to the triggers which initiate the addictive response. You are more likely to resist temptation by taking the precaution of eliminating the circumstances (persons, places, things) which creates the compulsory desire to engage in the thought pattern or activity you’d rather walk away from.

For instance, if you are more at risk for falling off the wagon by attending a party, don’t go to the party, at least at first. The same goes for any other setting or environment that might cause you to lose your resolve or falter.

If you are facing with a long-time addiction, one that have become more and more powerful over time and you are having difficulty with letting it go, it might be a good idea to enlist the aid of a coach or counselor to partner with for your progressive personal growth on this leg of your life’s journey. Seek out someone who has the skills and tools necessary to help you achieve your goals.

Depending on your condition, you may seek out a support group where others who are successfully in the process of overcoming similar challenges in their lives, or an intensive rehabilitation program might be considered to be appropriate. Regardless of the methodology, the goal is to put you in control of your body and brain’s will, not the other way around.

You would not engage in activities and behaviors which control us and could be harmful to yourself, or others, if you did not derive some benefit from it. In many cases, if you find yourself in a stressful situation, a particular activity may offer a sense of relief or more calm state by engaging in it.

Find new ways to put yourself in a peaceful state besides engaging in an addictive behavior. You may be surprised about how much more emotional control you can exercise by living a healthier lifestyle including positive activities, such as aerobic activities, walking, jogging, working out and yoga. Living a more active life and eating a healthier diet can give you the hormonal advantage to beat any addiction.

Adopting a positive attitude and approach to living will empower you with the courage to enable you to face and overcome any addictive behavior which might challenge you.

Remember, it’s all about control; your control over anything that controls you, which is not healthy or beneficial.

Once you have garnered control of yourself, and have control over the mechanisms that formerly controlled you, you can begin to let go of the control to continue an even greater expansion.

Congratulations to my friend, Tony, who has recently found freedom from his addictions. He, and others like him, are an inspiration to others facing what may appear to be insurmountable odds.

God bless you in your overcomings.