Wrapping up the month of September, here’s a quick screenshot review of the month’s news. Let me know which ones you like the most. Thanks for your input, -David M Masters
Month: September 2018
My Partner Just Doesn’t Get It
What goes through your mind on that day that you wake up, look at your partner, and say to yourself that he or she, “Just doesn’t get it.” Every day you are getting more and more clear about your life, what turns you on, gives your life meaning, and makes your heart sing, then think to yourself, “My partner just doesn’t get it.”
You might see your profession as an extension of who you are deep inside, fulfilling your life’s purpose but your partner just thinks you work a boring job that he or she couldn’t possibly see him-or-her-self doing for any amount of money, and truth be told, you’d do it for free because you love it so much.
You know that what you do every day is making a contribution and helps to make the world a better place.
The most romantic idea in the world would have your partner loving the same things that you do with the same degree of love and admiration. Very little makes you feel so loved. Time passes, people grow and change, certainly, both of you have.
Just because your partner does seem to care about your passion(s) in this life, is not necessarily an indication that he or she isn’t interested in you.
Regardless of whether your partner takes an interest in your passion, it’s more important that you find those things that turn you on, do them, and fund fulfillment within yourself for being true to yourself, your calling, and purpose. Let your partner be aware of what you’re doing. If he or she doesn’t respond with glee, do not be discouraged.
Of course, we all think it would be nice to be supported and uplifted for doing the things which are more meaningful, because we invest our heart, mind, and soul into these projects, often for little or no remuneration, so any show of support would be appreciated, but not necessary.
In a relationship, there should be a cooperative reciprocal support for each other’s interests (which there probably is in the beginning). Then, as you both grow and change, it can fade over time, and that’s okay as there are different strokes for different folks. If your partner is not supporting your thing, it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be supportive of his or her thing.
As always, you should be giving the love you desire. So, support him or her the way you would like to be supported, maybe your partner will reciprocate, if not, keep doing your best.
Stay true to what is meaningful, important, and pleasurable for you. Keep discovering your own innate skills, talents, special abilities, and passions. Out of these, try focusing on the three that have the most meaning for you at the time.
Feel free to experiment, try them on, and see how they fit. Look in the mirror and see what you feel like (metaphorically) with this new attribute. The most important thing is to check to see if it pleases you. If your partner doesn’t appreciate it, notice it, or seems disinterested, that’s okay.
Try not to show off or seek your partner’s approval. If he or she notices it, fine. If not, this too is perfectly acceptable. Give him or her enough sacred space to work on their own stuff,
If you’ve awakened to a new understanding, awareness, or state of being, you can briefly mention it. If there is no interest in it, simply file it away with your truth intact. You cannot persuade or convince someone to see from your point of view. To do so completely is next to impossible. Attempting to force someone to see it borderlines abuse.
Your first responsibility is your life, your growth, and expansion. You were born with all the permission and power to achieve your highest and best, living a better life, your best life, and make the world a better place. The support or encouragement of your partner is not necessary.
Stay true to your path and keep checking in with yourself to see if you’re on track.
Unlimited possibilities are within your reach, waiting for you to ride the wave to the most exciting and fulfilling life.
And if you’re feeling as though, “My partner just doesn’t get it,” that’s okay.
Keep going…
Should I Smoke Pot?
You might ask, “Should I smoke pot?” Or wonder what the effects of prolonged use of marijuana might be on one’s life journey?
With the growing popularity and legalization of the use of marijuana, increasingly I am asked, “Should I be smoking pot?” by clients on their path to a better life, their best lives, and making the world a better place.
Now that there is a “growing trend” of marijuana uses, especially since more states are decriminalizing the use of marijuana, are allowing the medical use of marijuana, and it is becoming legal in many states, there are many questions arising about the effects of marijuana in general, and in my work increasingly, clients are inquiring about its use more often.
It’s not an easy question to answer because of it’s not a black-and-white issue. There is nothing inherently bad about the use of marijuana, and it offers many health benefits if used medicinally. Then, there is that part of, if used in excess, it could be counter-productive.
Many people with worse addictions are using marijuana to kick their addictions. My question is, are they just trading one addiction for another? If one addiction causes less harm than the other there is definitely value in trading a bad one for a better one, right?
The effect of this growing green substance also affects each person differently depending on their body’s chemistry and psychological profile. As therapeutic as the green stuff might be, it may be keeping you from achieving your highest and best.
What do I say when a client asks what the effects of marijuana would have on the quality of their spiritual journey from prolonged use over time?
It’s really up to you, where you are in your path in your life’s journey. There are times when the use of marijuana and other drugs could be highly beneficial or warranted for mitigating the damages from the surprises of life that catch you off-guard,
Weed is an excellent numbing agent and if you’re in a lot of pain, physically or psychologically, it can certainly help to keep you in a calm state or help you to sleep at night. When choosing a substance to help get you over the hump, why not pick something that is less likely to harm or kill you.
It also depends on where you are in your life’s journey amidst the 7 Phases of Personal Growth, or the 7 Phases of Spiritual Growth, as well as those situational moments of change.
No one but you can really discern when it is a good time for you to use pot, if at all.
Other things to consider are whether you actually need the effects of THC to get the benefits you want from Dr. Mary Jane. CBD oil is growing in popularity and is legal in most states now because it can be manufactured with little or no THC while retaining the healing properties of marijuana.
No one is going to judge you for your use of weed in any of its varieties if it is legal where you partake, but some people may raise an eyebrow if it affects you negatively, and it would be wise for you to get regular input from people who really care about you. Because, if you’re taking marijuana with any degree of frequency, you might not be able to see its effects on you and your life.
Objective views are very valuable, and I think this is why I am seeing the question, “Should I continue to smoke pot?” asked more frequently.
No problem. This is what coaches, counselors, and consultants are there for, right?
Just be aware that the answer is not as easy as it might seem. There are many things to consider.
Also, remember that just because a thing is legal and has beneficial properties doesn’t necessarily mean that is good for you in all circumstances and situations.
I smoked pot and got high in my teens regularly, until the day I woke up and looked around at all the adults that were smoking pot regularly and asked myself if that was the life I wanted to live? Fortunately, I had a wide breadth of pot smokers’ lives I could examine.
There were mostly low-income earners and a few high-rollers to give me an idea of the range and what I might expect if I were to continue smoking weed.
Always the love-inspired person, I decided to stop smoking pot and started to take a more proactive roll in managing my own life. I made a lot of changes, and these changes led me to harmonize with the love of-and-for God and the ministry, and I didn’t stop there.
I’ve never regretted my decision and continue to live one of the most amazing lives I could have ever imagined. Every day is a new and exciting day, leading to yet another.
Sure, there are times when I hit a rough spot, and I might even use marijuana (with or without THC) products if deemed necessary or beneficial.
I am definitely in favor of the continued legalization of marijuana, and I hope that one day it could be truly free and unregulated, as should all substances.
Know this: Love is the most powerful drug of all. Far more powerful than marijuana or any other known substance. Just as you would with any substance, use and exercise your love with care.
What are your thoughts? Have you ever wondered,
“Should I smoke pot?”
Tell me what you think below…
You Think You’re Better Than Me?
There are those individuals you will run into along your life’s journey who will assert that they are better than you and that you are somehow less of a person than they are or beneath them. You may ask, “You think you’re better than me?” Superiority complex in certain people could indicate something else going on deeper inside.
People suffering from superiority complex may claim to be better than you and may intentionally disrespect you or hurt your feelings in an effort to make themselves feel better about themselves. They are often over-compensating for some shortfall in their lives. Superiority complex is just the flipside of inferiority complex.
For instance, the people who are super-achievers might be using their ability to be successful at any cost as a method of coping with their inadequacies or feeling (or having been told) they weren’t deserving or good enough for love, affection, admiration, or acceptance unless they displayed clear high-performance results.
They may also feel they are entitled to be treated differently than their peers as they sacrifice all other areas of their life to exercise their enormous abilities to succeed.
Even though a person, like this, might come of as disrespectful or being mean, if you could walk a mile in this person’s shoes you could imagine what it must be like to be driven by such an underlying need to exert themselves as being better than others, only to have some hope of being respected or liked. Otherwise, they might feel very badly, get depressed, and possibly suffer suicidal tendencies.
Then there are those who think they are better than you because they possess a moral superiority. These are the people who are the self-imposed judges in life, imposing their judgment on everyone and everything around them. They are highly critical and likely fail in social situations for they have no filter which respects the feelings of others.
The moralist will exert their superior opinion and cut-down others with words on the scale of harshness and may have little regard as to whether he or she is hurting someone’s feelings, or not. They more the chasm between their moral standards and that which is the object of their attention, the harsher they may become in asserting their superiority.
While we tend to think as moral superiority as people who feel they are very good in comparison to those being very bad, you can also find this on the other end of the spectrum, where people who refuse to comply with social norms, because they feel they are morally superior based on their insistence to not comply. You will find conspiracy theorists in this segment, asserting their superiority over people who refuse to “face the facts.”
You (more likely than not) have run into the individual who says, “I tell it like it is.” These individuals have a commitment to “tell the truth” or say whatever they think, no matter how brutal, and they excuse their behavior by asserting their superiority based on their ability to say whatever they want regardless of how it affects others based on the idea that doing anything else would be a “lie.”
Interestingly enough, even lovers have made a commitment to each other to “tell the truth no matter what” as being a highly help principle at the outset of a relationship, only to regret it later. It’s not that we should lie in a loving relationship, but rather tell the truth in love, with the highest regard for the feelings of our partners, not disregarding the emotional impact of our words which only leads to deterioration in the relationship.
A step beyond the basic superiority complex is the idea that due to your genetic disposition or heritage that you are somehow superior over those who do not share the same pedigree. This is the basis of most racism, where one being feels they are superior to others based on their race and/or creed.
A human being does not possess this thought-pattern of their own accord, it has usually been placed in their psyche by familial or other social programming. Bigotry is unnatural and is a learned behavior, which may be based on one’s race, financial and/or educational disposition, among others.
As they look down at you, you might think (or ask), “You think you’re better than me?” Superior complex’s reply would have them replying, “Absolutely.” You are NOT good enough…
When you find yourself face to face with someone suffering from a superiority complex, the best thing you can do is to not engage in a batter of wits. Try to understand that they are just doing the best they can with what they have and love them anyway. Maybe your respect for them will help them to see that there might be a better way to approach life or look at things differently.
Your Highest and Best Potential
You have much more potential power than you can possibly imagine unless you are very highly evolved, know, and are in the process of having and being it all. Most of us, mere mortals, are just doing the best we can with what we have, but you could choose to have and be so much more.
Have you reached your true potential? Do you know what your highest and best potential is?
When you start to think about the possibilities which lay ahead of you, different things begin to appear to your consciousness. These are all true potentialities. Your heart brings awareness to your mind’s eye all the desires which you are fully entitled to.
It’s easy to get distracted by the day-to-day details of life and the just-getting-by of it all. It leaves little available bandwidth for imagining a better life for yourself. (And this is no accident. “Society” wants you to remain small, just being a cog in the machine.) I mean, if you’re well over basic survival, what more is there to want for? And if you did want more out of life, there just is no time to consider some legal way to obtain the things you want.
You are the key that unlocks the fullness of your potential in this life.
If you look at the regrets of the aged, what bubbles to the top is the realization that it was they, themselves, that let them down, even though throughout their lives they tried to blame anyone and anything for not achieving their highest and best, in retrospect hindsight is 20/20.
They come to the awareness and accept the responsibility for not living a better life because as they’ve aged they can look back and see that they could have made different choices or taken more inspired action.
These regrets can pile up emotionally and cause disappointment, conflict, and stress to the aging individual leading to their rapid deterioration of health and wellness unless they find proactive ways to fill the void.
If we could learn any lesson from our elders it would be to heed the warning that is echoed in their distress caused over missed opportunities or chances not taken that could have led to a far better life for themselves, their families, their community, and potentially the world at large.
You should have a growing notion that you could live a better life, your best life, and make the world a better place.
Faced with this awareness, you can start to make better choices and take inspired action to move you closer to achieving your highest and best, especially if you live in a relatively free society, like we enjoy in the United States, where you have the ability to make choices and take action independently (within the confines of the law of the land).
It can be very helpful for you to start to get in touch with what the potential of your highest and best might entail.
Every tale of success or rags-to-riches story has a base theme where the hero has an inner knowing that he or she was called forth to do something great, something counter-intuitive to the person he or she would have expected based on his or her life up to this point.
There comes the point in time when inspiration meets inspired action. This is that pivotal point in life when the individual faces their fate and jumps in, all in, pushing aside all fear and does whatever it takes to make it happen.
Once you have an idea of what your highest and best consists of, you will be miles ahead in your path to your best life.
You will discover everything in your life has played an integral part in what comprises your calling. Your highest and best is a unique combination of your genetics, your past (both painfully tragic and magically magnificent), how you were raised as a child, what you have learned since then, the body you’ve been blessed with, your unique talents, gifts, and abilities.
You are divinely qualified for your special purpose in this life.
To uncover your divine potential, document your personal inventory. Take a moment and answer these questions…
What have people told you, you’re good at?
What are your gifts, talents, and special abilities?
What are your strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, and threats?*
What are your highly-held beliefs?
What inspires you to want to change something or to make a difference?
What do you love more than anything?
What are your deepest desires (your secret wish)?
What would make you feel the most at peace?
What activity can you engage in where time just seems to fly by?
What profession might you like so much that you would do it without getting paid?
Answering these, and other similar, questions can provide you with clues or a specific roadmap leading straight to your highest and best.
* See your Personal SWOT Analysis
7 Phases of Spiritual Growth
Moving beyond the 7 Phases of Personal Growth the human being begins to transition into its evolutionary being, above and beyond its primitive peers and ancestors. The evolution of contemporary humans takes place in both the head and the heart, expanding the limits of human potential. This evolutionary process continues through 7 phases of spiritual growth.
Phase 1: Awakening
This is the first phase of spiritual growth when the individual begins to ponder there being something more to this life. He or she notices inconsistencies in life, the stories we’ve been told, how we’ve been raised, what we’ve been led to believe.
After the first shock to the system of your self-realization, of getting a glimpse of your being far more than you were told you were or could be and realizing that things are not as they seem, phase ones start to let go of psychological trauma, stress, guilt, and unworthiness.
Leaving behind the negative programming of society, the spiritual phase 1 becomes somewhat of a rogue, a lone wolf, and a reluctant leader. He or she finds a new sense of self and being and begins to go with the flow instead of forcing his or her way through life.
Personally inspired, this person, while choosing a path clearly different from his or her peers, becomes more natural, and is less concerned with goal-setting, as he or she becomes more actively focused on the greater good.
Typically, martyrs are found at spiritual growth phase 1.
Phase 2: Leader
Embracing his or her ability to lead, the spiritual phase two inspires others to embrace the evolutionary process as he or is considered to be a visionary, spiritual leader, guru, or shaman, as they increasingly submit to the process of evolution and spiritual growth.
Those in phase two of the spiritual growth process are shining societal symbols encouraging others to consider new ways of looking at life and its unlimited possibilities, have a desire to help change their community and even the world at large.
Phase 3: Master
As the phase 2 leader evolves into phase 3 he or she allows the higher power to do the heavy lifting of evolution. Empowered by the force of life multiplies their effectiveness in influencing others and the world to join in the evolution of society, mankind, and our planet.
The master becomes aware of his or her unique gifts and talents, finding his or her calling and unique message creating a niche for exercising him-or-herself fully alive, blessed, and moving about with the feeling or possessing this power.
This power is challenging for the master who has the utmost respect and fear of the power he or she wields in phase 3. In an effort to balance power with humility, it may also be difficult for him or her to accept the outpouring of blessing and abundance which is attracted by mastery.
In the spiritual phases of growth 1, 2, and 3, there is a symbiotic relationship, a cooperative interdependence among people. Unlike the phases of personal growth which vary from dependence to independence.
Phase 3 is the gateway to enlightenment.
Phase 4: Cosmic Consciousness
Finding comfort in the balance of humility and being open to receiving blessings and abundance, the phase three progressing into phase 4 spirituality which becomes aware and is able to see that he or she is an active part, an extension of the cosmic consciousness.
Phase fours are part of the absolute, unchanging, and infinite greater whole, experiencing this life in tandem with the life not limited by earthly confines of physicality, time, and/or space.
Phase four brings with it a dichotomy of being one’s “self” observing life from one perspective and that of being aware of one’s unlimited higher self at the same time. This is the key perplexity which the phase 4 faces in this evolutionary process, as their enlightenment continues to grow and expand.
Phase 5: God Consciousness
Once the phase four has fully accepted his or her humanity and divinity simultaneously he or she evolves into God consciousness. Fully aware that God is everywhere and everything, in and through all things, is never-changing yet ever-expanding, eternal, and only the greatest goodness.
There is no longer any of the confusion of separateness which is felt by the phase 4, as the idea of the oneness of self and the source of all life is understood and embraced.
In phase 5 one can experience the full range of life on this planet as well as beyond, finding new ways to integrate with both ends of the spectrum of all life and all its unlimited possibilities.
Phase 6: Unity Consciousness
In the sixth phase of spiritual growth, you are aware that everything (EVERYTHING) including everyone, all things seen and unseen, possibly experienced and not yet experienced, past, present, and future, on the planet and unlimitedly beyond is all one and the same.
Everything is fully integrated. You are God experiencing life from a unique perspective and there is no disconnection from anyone of anything in this experience.
Phase 7: Ascension
This phase is the passing from this dimension to another which may, or may not, be accompanied by death. As the evolution of the human continues there may be the ability to move freely among all dimensions and worlds at will while still retaining your own unique consciousness.
7 Phases of Personal Growth
You start out on this life and start your journey of personal growth which follows seven distinct phases which follow in succession from primitive values and behavior and depending on how your learning and travels you could find yourself anywhere amidst the 7 phases of personal growth.
An excellent overview of the 7 phases of personal growth can be summed up at Clare W. Graves’ Levels of Human Existence which mimic the path we follow as we progress from one phase to the next.
It’s a good idea to have a working knowledge of these 7 phases of personal growth if you’re working as a coach, counselor, and consultant so that you can keep your clients moving in a positive direction as they grow along their personal and/or professional journey in life.
The levels of human existence can be found not only in human growth and potential but are also present in other areas of life where potential and progress is found.
The most basic form of personal development basically starts at ground zero which is Phase 1.
Phase 1: Survival
This is where we all start. In terms of human existence. Survival refers to the base level of human existence, like seeking shelter from the elements and grubbing for food. Resources are extremely limited. Due to our current level of society, it is difficult to find anyone at Phase 1, unless someone was totally isolated and truly struggling with homelessness.
Phase 2: Relationship
This is where we develop a tribe mentality as we become a part of the greater community. In a tribal community, we forfeit our individuality for the benefit of supporting the tribal Chief. Your life is pretty much a result of whatever the Chief dictates. You can see how this can apply to other areas of life, like family, school, sports, work, and career pursuits.
Phase 3: Self-esteem
Phase 3 represents the rebellious stage, which harbors a lot of rejection and aggression. This is where the individual begins to express its individuality and doesn’t want to submit to the Chief anymore. For someone in phase 3, they will just about do whatever they want or can to get whatever it is that they want, regardless of anyone or anything else.
Phase 4: Transformation
The disregard for others in phase 3 leads to a wondering about the consequences of unbridled self-esteem. Asking questions, like what happened to others who were disregarded, an introspection, and thoughts of what if someone treated me like that?
There is a compulsion to do what it takes to carve out a successful separation for a better life and do the right thing. This is where individuals seek to devise a system to accommodate a number of participants who are willing to sacrifice self in the present for the promise of reward later.
Phase 5: Internal Cohesion
In phase 5 the entrepreneurial spirit breaks forth, and people want more out of life. They are tired of the same ol’ same ol’ and aren’t going to subject themselves to the lives led by their predecessors.
Phase fivers have the determination to do whatever it takes, sacrificing all while respecting the laws of the land to create a better life for them, their families, the community, and the world at large.
Even so, they are likely to disrespect the environment in phase 5 as their attention is so extremely focused on the struggle for success as they are going-it-alone, so determined to make it happen, doing it themselves.
Phase 6: Making a Difference
Because of the disregard for the environment in phase 5 the next level highly regards the environment. These are the people who are determined to fight for a better world, save the whales, join PETA, and may become vegetarians.
They will protest against war and other injustices of life.
Those who find themselves in phase 6 want everyone to play along with them. Everyone gets a say, vote, or equal share.
While gathering around the campfire and singing Kumbya may feel good but it just doesn’t get the job done.
It turns out, that this may succeed in the short-term, but not so much in the long-term because there are those who will seek to take advantage of or exploit the weaknesses of phase 6.
Phase 7: Service
This is the level of human mastery. In phase 7 you can access any of the previous levels using their attributes to apply to any current situation. In phase 7, you seek results and have access to a wealth of personal evolution and growth and have access to your own strengths to wield as necessary.
You can develop teams and anyone who is capable can lead a team. There is no need to do it all yourself (in contrast to phase 5). There is more respect and allowance for others to be who they are and offer their individual strengths for the greater good.
Level 7 is all about possibilities, options, and choices.
You can see how the 7 phases of personal growth can apply to many different slices of life and shows a steady progression from one phase to the next.
But the journey doesn’t end there. Following your personal growth, you can progress into the further evolution of man and the 7 Phases of Spiritual Growth.
You and Your Dog Inside
They say a dog is man’s best friend. That’s probably because in many ways there is a part of us that is not dissimilar to a dog. There is you and your dog inside of you. There is a higher version of yourself which is more evolved than your dog, and there is that base part of you and your dog inside.
For the moment, let’s refer to the dog part of you as Lassie. Lassie, not unlike other animals, is more concerned with being content and avoiding pain. Desiring the basic necessities of life such as food and shelter, mating and forming relationships with others.
Lassie has a natural tendency to want to care for others, and have fun, but can also experience overwhelming feelings, especially if the dog inside of you has suffered some abuse in the past. Lassie can be cuddly one minute, and in a second, when triggered, can be defensive and fierce, or turn and run away from anything which perceptually might cause harm.
Then there is that more intellectually evolved thinking part of you which is very imaginatively creative with the ability to be compassionate, reason, analyze, deduce, dream, project, and interact with others using language and higher levels of communication. Let’s call this part of you, Charlie.
Being inside the same body, Lassie and Charlie can face many challenges in trying to navigate life both as you and the dog inside of you.
Lassie is highly adaptive and is prone to change when faced with new circumstances in an effort to “get along” while Charlie will over-analyze just about anything, and lugs around an incredible (almost never-ending) filing system which hinders our ability to move on.
Lassie can easily sleep soundly when it is time to rest, while Charlie can stay up all night wondering, “What could happen if…” imagining and running all types of scenarios through the mind, creating new ideas, and fictitious threats and dangerous situations which have no relevancy in real life.
Charlie’s ability to be imaginative and creative is a gift which leads to problem-solving, miraculous inventions and advances in the sciences, but in concert with Lassie can cause us to become overwhelmed by emotional fear, which is a slippery slope when we exercise a good portion of Charlie’s skills in fear, leading to fear, anxiety, and depression.
This can create a virtual never-ending cycle of anxiety which can drain the resources of our entire biological system, weakening our immune system, making us more susceptible to disease, premature aging, and leading us to an early grave.
Thankfully, there is an even higher version of our selves which lives off-campus. Let’s call this part of us, Skyler.
Connecting with Skyler can help to keep Charlie from being over-powered by an overactive Lassie. Since Skyler is outside of your body, by adopting this point of view you can see a perspective of any given situation outside of yourself. From this vantage point you can be more objective and less judgmental.
Skyler can be the mediator between Charlie and Lassie enabling you to achieve your highest and best.
Mindfulness comes from Skyler and meditating allows us to be more connected with that higher part of our selves. This can allow you to live a better life, your best life, and make the world a better place for you and your dog inside of you.
It’s a Mirror!
You just never know how wisdom will come to you. How about a man screaming at a woman and she holds up her hand flat palm to his face and asserts (almost screaming), “It’s a mirror!”
This is happening to me in real time across the parking lot. A man is screaming about something at a woman who is clearly with him. He’s outside the car on the driver’s side and she’s outside the passenger’s side and he is yelling at her, but clearly not about her.
I was far enough away to not understand what the man was upset about, maybe something that happened inside the establishment, or something else personal, but he was clearly upset and a little out of control.
The part that came out loud and clear was the woman’s holding her hand up between her face and his, and boldly asserting, “It’s a mirror!” Which would stop the man dead in his tracks, disrupting his explosive rant.
I could almost feel him going inside himself to take a look in there. After a brief pause, he would murmur, then get himself all worked up again. Only to be interrupted by the woman’s, “It’s a mirror!” again.
Now, I have no idea what is happening in real life across the parking lot, but what I am witnessing through the lens of higher potentiality is blowing my mind.
He might be a highly suspicious person extremely upset about breaking a mirror in the store which would give him 7 years of bad luck, but in my mind’s eye, I saw a man upset about anything. And I saw the woman as one of the most enlightened therapists I had ever seen in action.
For there is little that could be any truer than:
If you are experiencing anything in life that causes you to feel upset
It’s a mirror!
For those of us on the path of personal growth and expansive evolution, we know that when our caveman-like defense mechanism is triggered, unless it is an actual emergency, it is a signal indicating we have some unresolved issues to look at.
These are the sensitive, most intimate, and integral details of our life asserting their need to be noticed. For the most part, people are programmed not to look inside, and instead blame, feel threatened by, or threaten anyone or anything as we project our feelings of upset, fear, or rage on whatever is within reach at the time.
Some of us are better at seeing negative feelings as a mirror. I, for instance, have not mastered the recognition of the mirror at the first inclination to feel something negative. So, I am more likely to exert a negative emotion, than to first look inside for hidden trauma, unresolved issues, or answers.
Why?
Because I don’t have someone to hold their hand up in front of me to say, “It’s a mirror!” when I start to look at or feel something negatively.
This is the profound takeaway I was given in this moment in the parking lot.
And I pray, the next time I begin to feel a negative emotion or start getting upset about someone or something, that I can hear that woman’s voice in my head asserting,
“It’s a mirror!”
That would be enough to break my emotional state and cause me to look within to see what mysteries are waiting to be revealed.
3 Minute Rant
There comes a time in life, when no matter how hard you successfully maintain a state of calm in the face of a hectic everyday life, every once and a while you find yourself overwhelmed by a flood of emotion. Thank God, there’s the 3 Minute Rant.
You’ve mastered the art of digging up the emotional baggage of your past, you’ve done the deep work, and you’re continuing to grow and expand every day, then it happens. Something unexpected catches you off-guard and still, with all the tools you have to master your emotional state you feel that rush of emotions and you’re ready to blow a gasket.
Then you’re quickened by the notion that you’re the master of your emotion, so you push it down with all your might (and good intentions) and try to ignore it’s there.
You know the consequences of harboring pent-up emotions, but you feel like full-on venting is beneath you or immature at this level of your own personal growth and expansion.
Not to worry. Thankfully, you can always take a break from real life and consider letting it out by engaging in the
3 Minute Rant
When you feel like you’ve reached the limit of your capacity for peace, harmony, self-control and you’re triggered to rage, no problem. Let your fury fly, full-on, unrestrained for 3 minutes, then regain your composure.
Ahhh, that feels so much better.
You can take some precautionary measures in preparation for your 3-minute rant. For instance, your rant is probably not fit for public exposure, so you should consider maintaining your composure the best you can until you find an appropriate time and place.
Once you’ve found a safe place to conduct your 3-minute rant and have a pretty good idea that you will have a full three minutes to let it out without being interrupted, have a method to time yourself. You can use a clock, use an egg timer, or set an alarm on your phone for three minutes.
Then let it all out.
Do whatever you need to do to get it out. Stop, hit a pillow (be careful not to permanently damage inanimate obtects), stop, shake your fist at the sky, cry, scream, cuss, whatever… Just let it all out, without judgment, limiting yourself to 3 minutes.
If you’re like me, after about a minute or so, you’re pretty much done, exhausted, and/or find yourself giggling. If not at the situation which has you all wound up, certainly at yourself.
After you’ve released the pressure you can go about the business of managing whatever details are left to deal with concerning the source of your hurt feelings, anger, or frustration with the tools you have available for you to work with.
There is no need for you ever to harbor ill feelings within yourself,about yourself or anyone or anything else, let it out and let it go.
It is not a perfect solution, by any means, but the 3-minuterantcan get you from here to there bridging the gap between feelong helpless and hope of a brighter future.
Fear not, you got this.