When you met, you thought you had so much in common, as you spend more and more time together you discover you have less and less in common. As a matter of fact, the more you think about it… You and he/she are total opposites. You’re feeling the urge to cut and run, and your friends are, like, “Hell yeah.” You can’t help but wonder, “Why do opposites attract?”
So much attention is focused on trying to find similarities in relationships these days that the idea of celebrating the differences would seem ludicrous at best.
In the most successful relationships (not the most manageable or easiest couplings) partners play off each other and the more different you are, the more potential for growth and expansion together.
After having unsuccessfully finding yourself engaged in a relationship with an opposite, you might think, “Who would sign up for that?” I mean, it’s a full-on cluster… and regardless of how tragic it may have been, you’re likely to say (if not now, then later), “but the good times were really good.”
It’s these good times that are indicators of something far superior in the realm of possibilities in the not too far distant future if you’re willing to do the work.
You might think that being a pair of lovebirds would be far superior to being a hawk and a prairie dog trying to manage a relationship. A pair of lovebirds can only expect to experience a certain degree of excitement or growth due to their similarities while the opposites can celebrate their differences, and have the most exciting opportunities for evolutionary advancement in the perfect push/pull balance.
These differences substantiate the idea that your partner should be a mirror for you to reflect who you really are. This feels like an insult or assault, at first, until you look inside and find that your response is tied to an aspect of you, hidden deep within, which is looking for resolution.
“But,” you interrupt, “We’re just too different.”
The fact that you’re in this relationship of opposites is in divine order. This is your opportunity to really move your love and your life to the next level.
If so, you ask,
“How could we possibly get along?”
It’s not easy. It’s a challenge, an opportunity, and a blessing. Your opposite person is the perfect person to help you expand and grow into the highest and best version of yourself. In order to do so, you must be willing to put forth some effort in getting to know your opposite, what makes him or her tick, what sets them off and what makes them connect deeply and be willing to open themselves fully, bearing all of their vulnerabilities, while having faith that you will protect him or her throughout this process. And the same goes for you.
One of you may be loud, the other quiet. One of you seeks the limelight, the other the safety of blending into the audience. One might like to go out, the other more likely to want to stay in. While this couple would be an all-out train wreck in social circles, singles sites, and matchmakers, these two have the makings of the most magnificent marriage.
Why Do Opposites Attract?
We don’t just get to be the way we are overnight. No, we are the result of a lifetime of trial and error. When you were very young, a baby, you either learned that being loud was the way to get the attention you sought, or you discovered that being quiet provided you with your desired response, and so your personality and relationship skills grow from there, making you the kind of person you are today.
You are attracted to the type of person who would complete you, who can assist you in resolving the issues of your past, and find that higher form of love which was in you before you were born, that divinely powerful and unfailing love for yourself and others. The perfect person for you to go on this journey with would be quite unlike you, if not your total opposite. The highest version of you will attract this type of mate because it longs to evolve in truth and love.
Everything is energy, and energy can be expressed and manipulated either by being amplified or constricted, as exemplified in extroverts or introverts.
Even though you are an amazing person, just the way you are, can you say you have achieved your highest and best? Could a better life be waiting for you?
Celebrating your differences and creating sacred relational space for your opposite to thrive (or retreat to) comes from being open, aware, vulnerable and compassionate. Yes, it’s a give-and-take, and make room for a bit of stress or strain, for nothing amazingly magnificent comes from no effort, no commitment, no discomfort, no work.
By aligning yourself with an opposite and moving forward, you begin to realize that what appeared to be problematic obstacles, were really only the catalyst for creative tension leading the way to evolutionary expansion.
Over time, as you both experience metamorphosis throughout the tenure of your relationship, you do find yourselves in a synchronous relationship in harmony, deeper love, connection, and intimacy, if you continue to do the work.
Here you are, on the brink of utter amazing possibilities and you feel like breaking weak and turning tail to run in the opposite direction, which what you really should do is to draw closer, closer, and even more closer because you really do want the best this life has to offer.
Sure, you could settle for easy or doable, but something inside you wants something more than mediocrity in this life.
If your relationship looks like a disaster in the making, think about it and search inside, and ask yourself,
“Is this potentially your best hook up ever?”
So, buckle up buttercup, because you’re in for the ride of your life if you dare to take on embracing your opposite and forging your new path together into a glorious future which lies ahead.