Tag: humility

The Danger of “This Is the Only Way”

It amazes me when someone insists, sometimes so demandingly, that their experience proves the only way to accomplish a thing. I understand why it happens. You have been longing for something, maybe even praying for it, pouring your time, heart, and soul into the pursuit. You have tried countless approaches, weathered disappointment, and faced your share of doubt. Then, one day, the door swings wide open. Your dream comes true. Your miracle unfolds before your very eyes.

You think, “Wow! This is amazing!” And in that rush of gratitude and exhilaration, you feel compelled to share what you have discovered. Not because you are a narcissist or seeking fame, but because you want others to experience what you have experienced. You want to hand them the key that unlocked the door for you.

You think, “If people could just do what I did, they could have what I have.”

But here is the truth: That is not the way it works.

Why People Do Not Resonate With “Your Way”

You can study your journey, refine it into a step-by-step process, and present it to the world in a way you believe is crystal clear. And still, many people will not follow it. Or if they do, they will not achieve the same results. Why?

Here are just a few reasons:

    • They do not believe it will work for them.
    • They are not ready for the commitment.
    • Their priorities differ from yours.
    • They have past trauma or resistance you did not have.
    • They do not like your personality or teaching style.
    • They want faster results.
    • They are skeptical of anything that sounds “too good to be true.”
    • Their life circumstances are different.

And the biggest reason of all…

They Are Not You

Even if someone followed your process down to the letter, they still might not achieve your miracle. Why? Because so many hidden factors were working in your favor when you experienced your breakthrough:

    • Your geographic location at the time.
    • Your DNA and unique biology.
    • Your energetic vibration in that moment.
    • The emotional and spiritual deposits you had already made in your “escrow account.”
    • The way unseen forces, call them “planetary alignment” if you will, conspired in your favor.

These variables do not duplicate easily, and they matter more than most people realize.

The Myth of “The Only Way”

Yes, there are systems that can be duplicated with a high degree of success, maybe 95 percent of the time, but those are rare. In most cases, the claim of “100 percent foolproof if you just do what I say” is wildly overstated.

Take cancer, for example. Doctors often declare, “This is the only way!” Then you have people who have tried alternative approaches shouting just as loudly, “No, THIS is the way!”

As I often say, “If you do a good search on the Internet, you will find over 250 different natural cures for cancer.” And here is the thing, many of them have validity.

It is easy to get stuck in paralysis of analysis, overwhelmed by the sheer volume of options, until you think, “Forget it. I will just do whatever the doctor says.” But this same overwhelm can happen in any area:

    • Building a business.
    • Growing wealth.
    • Achieving better health.
    • Expanding spiritual awareness.
    • Deepening connection to God.
    • Finding happiness.

I Am a Systems Guy, But…

I build and teach systems. I know they work. And in a moment of passion, I might even blurt out, “This is the way!”

What I mean is, “This is the only way I know that works like this, gives these results, or worked for me.” That is different than claiming it is the one and only possible way for everyone.

Because in reality, anything can work for anybody, with varying results.

The Real Formula for Results

Here is the process that never fails:

    1. Do your research.
    2. Make a decision to do a thing, not just try it.
    3. Do it fully.
    4. Review your results.
    5. Decide to keep going, adjust, or try something else.

Repeat until you achieve your desired outcome, or a better one you did not expect.

That is it. That is the guaranteed system. The results will be yours and yours alone, because they will be shaped by everything that makes you uniquely you.

A Word of Caution About Rigidity

If you assert that your way is the only way, and you hold that position rigidly, you run the risk of alienating the very people who could benefit from what you have to share in other areas of life. When people feel pressured or judged for not following your exact method, they often disengage entirely, even from the parts of your wisdom that could truly help them.

So share your ideas with passion, but also with humility. Present your way as a way, not the way. Let people explore it, adapt it, and find their own path forward. This approach not only keeps the door open, it allows your message to travel further and touch more lives.

So the next time you are tempted to declare “This is the only way!”, remember: what is the way for you might be one of many ways for someone else. Share your path, but leave room for others to walk their own.

That is not just good advice, it is respect for the infinite possibilities of life.

 

Do You Have a Closed Mind or an Open Mind?

We all probably feel as though we are generally open-minded. Generally. Do you have a closed mind or an open mind?

Success in life generally finds itself in the company of the open-minded individuals while it is more elusive for those with closed minds. Knowing your propensity for having either a closed mind or open mind might give you insight into your level of struggle for survival or tendency to have life evolve more naturally.

For instance, if you are more likely to seek to be understood rather than the need to understand others, you’re probably less open-minded than you might think you are.

When encountering a person with a difference of opinion, are you more likely to try to understand why they feel the way they do? Or do you try to convince him or her that you’re more knowledgeable and have a greater sense of expertise about the subject at hand?

An open-minded person is more interested in hearing, understanding, and may be interested in trying to understand how it might feel for someone else to have a different perspective. While a closed-minded person will assert his or her beliefs.

“I already know that.”

When someone tries to tell a closed-minded person something they already possess some knowledge about, they are likely to cut them off mid-share with, “I already know that.” In contrast, if the open-minded person knows a lot about a subject, they are willing to ask questions and listen to information, even if it represents knowledge they already possess, with the chance that they may uncover a previously undiscovered nugget or idea to consider.

A closed-minded person will state facts and statistics, rather than ask exploratory questions, like an open-minded person.

Opinions and thinking are the inalienable rights of the closed-minded person, while open-minded people are more concerned about learning more about the opinions of others and how they feel about things.

An open-minded person is always interested in raising their knowledge or awareness, with a hint of the potential knowingness of the possibility of believing something that might be expanded upon or even be wrong. Truth evolves over time. That’s why they’re more apt to be so inquisitive, as opposed to being stuck in their ways.

Open-minded people can contemplate two opposing ideas for a period of time, filtering, balancing, and comparing them to each over for a while, instead of quickly adhering to a single thought, belief, or perspective without being open to new ideas or information.

A closed-minded person is more apt to interrupt or talk-over those who are attempting to communicate their thoughts on any given subject. They are content with hearing their own voice and exerting their expertise. What others think is of little interest to them, which could create a potentially toxic energy in relationships.

Wrong-But Maneuver

If you’re a closed-minded person who wants to come off as an open-minded person, you may use the “wrong-but maneuver.” That is, to exert a bit of superiority while coming off as being understanding, like saying,

“I might be wrong, but…”

then exerting your opinion, belief, or highly regarded statistical data.

Close-minded people exert their superiority and do not engage in discussion or battles that might challenge their beliefs.

Open-minded people are more likely to exert their humility rather than their superiority.

People who are more likely to be open-minded often have a past which includes failures from which they have learned valuable lessons, while the closed-minded individual is hardly able to admit to having made mistakes in the past.

Closed-minded people are more likely to claim they have been victimized or blame others for what might have been considered a failure.

If you’re seeing some of the signs of being closed-minded in yourself, don’t be too concerned about it because you can become more open-minded, but not if you don’t know.

Most closed-minded people have no idea that they are. In most cases, they think they are completely open-minded. Seeing the inconsistency within yourself can be the key to overcoming closed-mindedness.

And if you’re open-minded, there is no judgment for those who are closed-minded, they are only doing the best they can with what they have. Maybe one day, they can change. If they don’t, it’s okay.

It takes all kinds to make the world go ’round. We all have different parts we play in the symphony of life.