Tag: personalities

Be Prepared for Understanding How Others View and Treat You.

We like to think we see the world clearly, objectively, as it really is. But the truth is, we don’t see things as they are — we see them as we are. Every person filters reality through their own lens of experience, personality, wounds, beliefs, and expectations. And nowhere is this more true than in how we see and treat each other. The way someone sees you says more about them than it does about you. And yet, it deeply affects how they treat you, include you (or don’t), trust you, honor you, or disregard you.

You’ve probably noticed it in your own life: some people hold you in high regard, respect your thoughts, value your presence, even cherish you. Others might see you as an accessory, a tool, a convenient companion, or a stepping stone. And still others might view you as irrelevant, disposable, or even a threat.

The painful part is, we often don’t know how someone sees us until it’s too late. We assume the care and love we give is being received and reciprocated at the same depth. But not everyone plays by the same rules of the heart. Some have different capacities. Others have different agendas.

Different Circles, Different Views

Think about the people in your life — family, friends, coworkers, lovers, acquaintances. Each of them holds a different image of you, depending on where you stand in their inner world.

    • A deeply sensitive person might view their closest friends as sacred treasures, holding them in reverence, nurturing them as extensions of their own soul.
    • A pragmatic person might see those same friends as “good people” but interchangeable, with no deep emotional anchor.
    • A manipulative person might see their circle as pawns to be moved, used, and replaced as needed.
    • A guarded person may keep even the closest ones at arm’s length, not because they don’t care, but because they’re protecting themselves from past betrayals.

And here’s the catch: how they see you affects how they treat you. It shapes the opportunities they offer, the secrets they share, the trust they extend, the effort they invest, and the loyalty they maintain.

You may be someone’s ride-or-die, their confidant, their home base. But to them, you might be a temporary comfort, an advisor of convenience, or simply a warm body in an empty moment.

It doesn’t mean they’re evil. It just means they’re different. And understanding this helps you love without illusion and invest your heart wisely.

Signs of How Someone Regards You

Want to know how someone really sees you? Watch their patterns. People show you with their actions every day. Here are some signs to help you read the room:

    • They include you in their inner world
      They tell you their dreams, their fears, their failures. You’re not just hearing updates; you’re witnessing their heart.
    • They make time for you without obligation
      If you’re only called when they need something or when it’s convenient, you’re in their outer circle.
    • They defend you in your absence
      Do they speak well of you when you’re not around? Or do they stay silent, or worse, join in criticism?
    • They remember what matters to you
      Do they follow up on things important to you — your health, your goals, your family? Or do your milestones go unnoticed?
    • They honor your boundaries
      Do they respect your time, your values, your “no”? Or do they push, guilt, or ignore your limits?
    • They’re present in your storms, not just your sunshine
      Do they show up when you’re struggling, or disappear when you’re no longer fun, useful, or inspiring?
    • They invest in you over time
      Are they building with you, or just consuming what you offer?

How to Adjust Accordingly

Once you see how someone regards you, you have a powerful choice: not to punish them, not to resent them, but to adjust your expectations and emotional investments.

Here’s how:

    • Meet them where they are, not where you wish they were. If they’re casual with you, stop treating them like family. If they’re family in their heart, honor that closeness.
    • Stop assuming reciprocity. Just because you’d cross oceans for someone doesn’t mean they’d step over a puddle for you. Know who your ocean-crossers are.
    • Release the need to convince or prove. If someone doesn’t see your value, it’s not your job to campaign for it. Those who have eyes to see will see.
    • Build multiple support streams. Don’t rely on one person or a tiny circle for all your emotional needs. Diversify your support network.
    • Be willing to let go gracefully. Some people are in your life for a season, a lesson, or a chapter. When they’re ready to exit, bless them on their way instead of chasing them to stay.
    • Cherish those who cherish you. The ones who see you clearly and love you fully? They are your tribe. They are your home. Pour into them.

The Power of Awareness

The goal isn’t to become bitter, cynical, or mistrusting. It’s to become aware — to see people for who they really are, and to love them accordingly, without losing yourself in the process.

You can still love deeply, give generously, and care sincerely. But now, you do it with open eyes, a guarded heart, and the wisdom to know when to lean in and when to step back.

Not everyone who enters your life is meant to stay. Not everyone you love will love you the same way. And that’s okay.

When you understand this, you stop taking their departures personally. You stop confusing proximity with loyalty. You stop mistaking temporary roles for lifelong commitments.

You start living with clarity, peace, and a heart that loves freely — but never blindly.

And in that, you find an unshakeable strength.

 

Lets Play with Our Multiple Personalities (not MPD)

People put all kinds of labels on other people and we try to put labels on ourselves, a sort of self-branding, as a way to make our way through the world with some sense of identity.

Although you are one person, your personality incorporates multiple personalities. Sometimes you’re the serious you, sometimes the shy you, sometimes the defensive you, sometimes the playful you, among other yous living in your body. Each individuality all making up the whole of you, and all the yous are growing and changing all the time.

Very few people, if any, get to know all of the yous which you express. Only those with whom you are the most intimate with and spend the most time around have any hope of getting to know all the personalities you have to offer.

Getting to know me

Like people who meet me, they are meeting the “me” that is being represented at the time of our interaction. Depending on when and where you meet me, you might become acquainted with that part of me which expresses myself as an author, public speaker, coach, consultant, teacher/trainer, scientist, creator, edifier, confidant, servant, shy guy, nerd, goofball, best friend, believer, romantic, lover, crybaby, defender of the underdog, supporter of the arts and others, live music or cuisine connoisseur, just to name a few.

Getting to know you

After you’ve lived with yourself, the you that is expressed in this reality as you reside in your body, you have a pretty good idea about who you are in there. We all express multiple personalities within one body.

Don’t worry, you’re not suffering from MPD (multiple personality disorder). We are all this combination of multiple personalities. It’s who we are, and it helps us to navigate our way through the world while we are traveling upon the path we travel.

If you’re like me, you spend a lot of time in a professional capacity, serving others and the greater community. Even though the greater part of me is actually partying.

Let’s play

This is the beauty of being able to do work you love. It doesn’t seem so much like work at all if you’re loving what you do, it’s more like playing and having fun.

Even though a majority of the work that I do is relatively serious, the most joyous part of it is being in the room with you when you experience an epiphany. I mean, when your whole worldview or identity shifts as you experience a huge expansion, finding new ways to live and express yourself… Wow!

The only thing I can think to express the feeling of being there in that moment is the feeling of being there when my children emerged into this world. To hold that newborn baby in my arms, all that world of possibilities which lay ahead is a sacred awesomeness that is overwhelming, like being able to have a glimpse of life from God’s point of view.

That’s how I feel when someone experiences a breakthrough or paradigm shift, I am overwhelmed by emotion, blessed, and happy to be alive.

Yet, we all continue to grow and change, even you and me.

I am the playmate

I’m feeling more like even though I am defined in a professional way, I don’t really see myself that way. I see myself as the playmate of consciousness.

As weird as that might sound, I see myself joyously basking in the presence of others who are making their way through life the best they can. I can be their trusted friend, helping them and encouraging them along the way, anxious to celebrate the next win with them.

That’s the payoff for me, to play with you along the way and party in your celebration of those most joyous moments.

I just love playing with folks who are growing and celebrating with them as they go through metamorphosis, affecting not only their lives but the world around them in ways that couldn’t have been imagined before.

Like them, you can live a better life, your best life, and make the world a better place.

Wanna play?