I Hope We All Can Heal from Those Unspoken Things

We all gather and store traumatic experiences, keeping them buried deep inside, afraid to disclose the details of these experiences due to fear, the fear of being judged, unaccepted, or being told that we’re making a mountain out of a molehill, and we’re further traumatized by being told to “just get over it.” I hope we all can heal from those unspoken things.

All this pent-up trauma leads us to try to find hope, anything that might help relieve the pressure we feel building up inside of us. And what is this pressure doing to us? What is the cost of hiding and feeling as though we cannot talk about the things that trouble us the most?

As an Olympian Life Coach and spiritual consultant, I am blessed to have lived a life of helping others voice their inner struggles with past trauma. And my longing is echoed in Jared Peterson’s statement made on September 8, 2022, “I hope you heal from things you don’t talk about.” The quote’s author is unassignable, but the sentiment strikes a chord in the heartbeat of Americans who try to ignore the past for the greater good, and/or the bravest of those who contemplate seeking alternatives for releasing the pressure of withholding.

Yes, there is healing from brokenness, few can find such healing in solitude, but better results are realized by reaching out for assistance in digging up the past, one’s deepest darkest secrets, unearthing the root cause of unhealthy negative ruminations, disconnecting painful triggers, and battling one’s inner demons.

A traumatic past can destroy your life

Therefore, unexpressed anger can cause disease. These withheld secrets can kill you. Hidden memories of a traumatic past haunt the energetic sphere that surrounds us all.

Unspoken trauma doesn’t just go away.

In the search for relief, believers may find themselves searching for bible scriptures for heartbreak. Christian counselors can be sought out, but many of them are ill-prepared to help individuals do the deep inner work necessary. Unfortunately, these victims of destructive trauma, are encouraged to trust God or pray about it. In a sense, forgive, forget, and just get over it. This can burden the victim with guilt or shame, now questioning “what is wrong with me,” when the standard Christian recommended solution offers little or no relief.

St. Paul says, “We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed, perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body” (2 Corinthians 4:8-10). This is to say that regardless of the adversity we face or how we have been exploited or victimized, all of this can lead to the glorification of God’s goodness.

Also, “And we know that all things work together for good for those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28).

Given the sacred space necessary, in compassionate love, and understanding, without judgment, one can be empowered to do the deep work without fear of rejection or being accused of “attracting the trauma.” It cannot be swept aside by playing the “karma” card. Being allowed to fully release the trauma in a safe environment is necessary for finding healing in brokenness unashamedly.

I hope we all can heal from those unspoken things, and this is a more likely result of following this process of dealing with one’s traumatic past. Failing to do so causes infectious festering inner wounds to spread disease throughout the body. This can be realized and witnessed in a lack of energy, weakness, and a compromised immune system, leading to sickness, disease, and premature death if left unaddressed.

I am honored to have experienced the immense transformation of individuals who have overcome these kinds of challenges and am excited about results that can include the ability to help others who could be facing these kinds of victimizing circumstances.

This is the power of God realized in healing from brokenness, and in this way, the painfully broken can help others, doing their part to make the world a better place.

 

You and Your Puppets

There is you. Then, there is the “you” which you present to others. No one knows the real you, except for you, and you create a disguise which you operate, like a puppet, to present to the world. After one realizes the efficacy of puppeteering, you create an army of puppets to represent yourself in any situation and circumstance.

You expend a great deal of effort adorning your puppet(s) to present to particular audiences. You clothe and accessorize and present each puppet in such a way to have a particular impact on others, or to get what you want or need from others to make you feel good about yourself.

Masquerading is an effective way to interact with the world, but it doesn’t work that well with you, because you know the real you who dresses up your puppet(s), surrounds him/her with supporting evidence. You adorn your puppet’s environment to validate his/her personality by decorating his/her home, earning certificates and take taking photos to hang on the wall, driving a particular kind of vehicle, and a myriad of other supporting evidence to in essence prove to the world that your puppet is the real deal.

You’re constantly looking for new ways to support the identity of your puppet. Every time you think this is the one thing that will finally cement your puppet’s identity, it satisfies for a moment, then you discover it just didn’t quite accomplish you intended purpose, like you thought it would. So, you seek out another piece of supporting evidence.

You surround your persona with collections of supporting evidence which could be anything from material items to acts of service to others, or even vices or debilitating disease. All in an effort to convince the world to accept the identity you’ve designed for yourself. But no matter how hard you try, you know this is all an act. Regardless of how much time, effort, and finances you’ve dedicated for supporting your persona, as pretty or magnificent it is, you know it is all a worthless façade.

Then there is the most valuable and precious activity of life, and that is the real and authentic personal work performed by and on the behalf of the puppeteer. Unlike the things you do to support the identity of your puppet(s), the effort you put forth to support your true self which stays hidden from the external world, it is the best and most intimate thing you can do for yourself. This is your deep inner work.

There is great contrast between your deep inner work which cannot be seen by others, and the external representation of yourself which can be acknowledged and revered by others. The support and admiration you received from others creates an addiction to the maintenance of your façade, which clouds your judgment, preventing you from seeing the value in expending efforts to conduct your intimately private deep inner work.

Once you start to look deeply inside yourself, if you dare, you can start adorning your inner self, the real you, with mindfulness, self-care, support, therapy, forgiveness, and unconditional love. Just as you adorn your public persona(s), you beautify your inner self, connecting to that greater part of you which is a higher energetic vibration than could ever be represented by any material possession.

Nothing gives you such lasting satisfaction as doing your deep inner work. And as you conduct this deeply personal and intimate work on yourself, you can influence your persona(s) in ways that can offer glimpses of the changes taking place inside the puppeteer.

These subtle nuances cannot be hidden, as they can be seen by the trained eye, every time you pull a string, redecorate the surroundings, or operate your puppet.

Empowered by the energy emitted from your heart of hearts, your deep inner work begins to affect the world around you in even the smallest of ways like a pebble creating a ripple effect which radiates throughout the otherwise still pond of life.

You are love. Embracing your love life, loving yourself, all the deeply intimate and harrowing parts of yourself as all being in divine order, is the greatest love-work of all.

You are doing it. As you do, you create hope and inspire others to shift the focus of their lives from keeping up appearances to focusing within, and life by life, heart by heart, the world evolves and becomes a better place.

God bless you for all that you do.

Your Shadow Self

There is a deep dark you hidden deep within yourself which is devout in the protection of your self and will stop at nothing to prevent you from living your best life because to do so would put you at risk. Your shadow self protects from exposing yourself to potential failure, pain, sadness, longsuffering and grief, and in doing so actually blocks you from experiencing true love, health, wellness, and ultimate happiness.

Hidden from you by your shadow self are all the negative life moments you have experienced, so as not to hinder you’re being able to face tomorrow. Associated with all these dark moments are litanous associated programs which run silently in your unconscious to prevent you from being at risk of future negative physical or emotional impact.

While these systems have been accumulating for years unchecked for validity, they continue to perceive threat and trigger your fight or flight sensations, even if there is no apparent threat in the current reality or real world in the moment, or possibly ever.

Debbie Ford

Which reminds me of Debbie Ford’s shadow work, for which she is renowned, and she insists that within each trauma hidden by your shadow self, there is a sacred truth which if dealt with through her shadow process will contain an enlightening treasure which will empower you to realize exponential positivity and personal power.

Profound wisdom is hidden within your shadow self and these treasures are the keys which unlock all the best things this life has to offer.

Let’s say you want something deeply which seems to elude you, like massive success or long-lasting romantic love (or anything else your heart desires). While you may desire these things with all your heart, your shadow self is there to protect you from the potential pain associated with exposure to the risks which would be necessary to achieve the results you desire.

On the surface, in a therapist’s office or as noticeable by you or your friends this might look like self-sabotage, but it is your shadow self, hard at work, preventing you from being exposed to potential pain or loss.

Debbie Ford insists that within the darkness of your shadow self, you will find the key to unlock your strength, your happiness, and your ability to live out your dreams.

In order to enjoy all the best things of life with all its possibilities, you must be vulnerable, and vulnerability is the enemy of your shadow self.

Carl Jung

Carl Jung, who introduces us to our shadows, suggested that our maximum potential could be realized by making peace and standing in the middle between, “his shadow and his light simultaneously.” In effect seeing yourself from both sides.

Yet, due to the excellent abilities of your shadow self to keep you from seeing that you, as well as the rest of us suffering from the human condition, are a mixed bag of contradictions.

For instance, it is highly likely that the things you dislike the most are actually a part of who you are, though you are unable to see it, as these details about yourself are so effectively hidden from your conscious mind by your shadow self.

Delving into the secrets hidden within your shadow self is part and parcel of the deep inner work which you may choose to encounter if you are to truly have the ability to achieve your highest and best in this life.