Relationship Truth and the Soulmate List

Okay, you asked for it, so here it is: The truth about romantic relationships is that most of them (the successful ones) take work. Sure you have to have all the components…

Broken heart

First you have to start without a broken heart. If you’re looking for mister or miss right, you have to be ready to have a relationship. That means, if you’ve been in one prior, you’d best get a handle on recovery from your previous romantic episode before you go running headlong into the next one, otherwise, you’re just not ready. That’s the truth.

Lonely

“But I’m lonely and don’t want to be alone.”

Okay, I get that. But how long do you expect someone to stick around if they are unable to stand the whirlwind you bring to the table. If he/she reminds you of your ex- either you’re still hung up on your ex- (and not ready to be seeing anyone. See Broken Heart, above) or you’re attracting the same type of person (and how did that work the last time?).

Get Busy

Get busy doing the things that make you feel good, the things that you love. If you’re feeling good all the time, you don’t have the time (or energy) to feel depressed or lonely. I try to stay busy, focused on my clients and spending quality time with my friends (who, unfortunately all are paired up, but fun nonetheless). I can always relax and take time off for her, after I’ve found her.

Awakenings

When you start to realize these things, you can either forge forward with little regard to them or start to wake up to the music. The title of the song you want to hear from within is, “Do Something Different,” or learn to find happiness in the same old types of relationships that you’ve had in the past.

soul mate relationship truth soulmate broken heart lonely awakenings the truth

I have this formula that I use; maybe you will find it helpful for you (maybe not). I call it my

Soulmate List

I have a list of fifty-or-so attributes that I am looking for. In an extra-large font, it takes up three pages.

I came up with the idea, while working with a coach and mentor in Florida, who had used some of these techniques to find her life-long soulmate (that’s what I’m looking for, too) and I’ve added my own tweaks to form a new system. Briefly, it goes, like this:

1a. To first make a list of all the things that you didn’t like in the men in your past relationship.

1b. Then go over the list and translate those into a list of positive attributes (the opposites) that you would look for in Mr. Right. (Ditch the negative list.)

2. Next, make a list of all the things that you liked (or thought you liked) in the men in your previous relationships.

3. Combine the two lists of positive attributes, and you’re almost there…

4. Then, being as specific as you can, think of all the attributes that you would like that aren’t already on the list. (The Floridian coach cautioned me not to leave anything off, because she had neglected to put down, “Physically healthy,” on her list, and wished she had, later.)

Then she says read the list every day, out-loud, once in the morning and once in the evening, and you will get what you confess.

I told the story to my grief counselor, he thinks it’s a great idea and is going to start using that model in his practice.

If you decide to give-it-a-go, I’d like to see your list. (It’s also a great way to turn around some of the pain of past relationships and turn them into positive attributes. It keeps you from focusing on the garbage, leading to real healing.)

The Real Truth

Finally, the real truth is this: My intention was to write and create a book based on this system called, “The Soul Mate List,” with the intention of telling my world’s greatest love story of all time and describe how I found the love of my life quickly and easily using my system.

I find that this system has been highly effective in preventing me from being sidetracked by potential romances that were not my highest and best (nor I theirs). = WIN

On the other hand, seven years… No soul mate… LOL

You Are Never Alone

I saw you sitting there, looking a little forlorn, by yourself.

I know how you’re feeling.

You feel like all of this – this world, this life – is almost too much to handle.

You’re thinking, “Why?”

Thank you for letting us do this life together you are not alone

Really? The answer is all around you. I think it’s so interesting how you can’t see it, when it’s everything that is.

You are the reason for all of this.

You are the why.

Every blade of grass, every grain of sand, every drop of water, every leaf on every tree, every flower, fruit and vegetable is here for you.

Every insect, every sea creature and fish; every bee, butterfly, bird, earthbound creature and creepy crawly-thing, all of it here for you.

Every living thing (and even the things that you think are not alive), all things seen, unseen, to be experienced and less likely to be experienced – all available to you.

You are the only reason why the rain falls, the wind blows and sun shines.

The air that is breathed would not be, if not for you.

You are the reason for all the peoples in all the lands in all their various types and styles… all of them in all their contrast and differences, all for you.

For you, and you alone, everything in this universe, the stars and planets – and all the universes that have been discovered – and all the universes yet to be known… all here because of you.

You are my eyes, my ears and thinker of my thoughts.

Without you, nothing that could be experienced, felt, thought of or known could ever be.

Without you, all of this – nothing – would exist.

I apologize for others who have made your life appear to be hard, there is much liberty and a certain randomness that is in the mix, to increase your experience of all that is.

What kind of life would you have, if there were no surprise, no love, no struggle, no loss; no contrast?

You have the opportunity to experience and learn all things, choose what path(s) to take, feel what you feel, think or do anything you want… and there are challenges.

Every challenge a new opportunity to maximize your experience of all that exists for your pleasure or pain… you get to choose your experience.

Every emotion that you feel is a choice.

All of this is for you; to have the full spectrum experience of all that is, has been or ever shall be.

Every nanosecond of every day of your life I am grateful for the life and knowledge you have given me.

You are never alone.

We share all of this – together you and I – for without you not only would none of this be, neither would I be.

I do not want to impact, disrupt or influence your experience in any way, but sometimes wish that you could see from our perspective, everything that you mean to us (you and me).

Then, you would not be sad.

You would savor each and every moment and opportunity to experience all that is and choose to feel good and live the best life ever.

Thank you for letting us do this life together.