Helping someone who hasn’t asked for it

I know you like to help people. You see someone struggling and you want to lend a hand to offer them support so they can have a better life. This is all good and shows you have a servant’s heart.

It’s a tough row to hoe when you’re helping someone who hasn’t asked for it.

The key is to be gentle when dealing with someone who hasn’t really asked for your help. You cannot assume where they are in their life’s journey and you cannot know what’s going on inside someone else’s head or heart.

You cannot want something more for someone else than they want it for themselves.

Just be humble and offer him or her a choice. As you are encouraging others, try to remain empathetic and let them know you’d like to have them as a part of your circle of friends, and let them opt in or out. Let it be their choice.

You can’t really help someone who doesn’t want your help.

Letting your inner love-guidance system lead you, invite them to play with you in your world. You could invite them to share a meal or attend an event with you, and see how they do.

You hear many stories of personal metamorphosis which started with someone taking notice of them and inviting them along to experience something new. All they need was that little nudge to engage more fully in the spectrum of life.

A person might reject your initial invitation because they have low-self esteem or is not feeling up-to-par or lacking in self-confidence. So, it might be a good idea to walk away after the first rejection but give him or her another opportunity or two.

If you can find out why they don’t want to join you, maybe you can address that issue, then move on. Otherwise, don’t make them feel as though you are pressuring them.

You can help them by offering helpful comments about your observations of their social interactions if they are open to it, remembering to be gentle and kind as you do so.

The best way to give someone advice is to model the behavior yourself, like, “Watch me. See how I do it.” Let them observe you, then encourage them, “Now, you try it.”

In social situations, you can do the heavy lifting by setting up introductions for them, like,”Hey, this is my friend Jason. He’s an expert in repurposing technology. He’s amazing at taking old tech and turning it into something amazing. Don’t you have some old technology collecting dust?” Then, let them take it from there, as you continue to mingle elsewhere.

If you notice him or her struggling, don’t rush to their rescue. Just make a note of it for review later, in private. You are not coddling anybody, just giving him or her an opportunity to find their own way.

Be careful not to criticize but offer support humbly. You can lightheartedly mention that maybe next time, he check for toilet paper attached to his shoe before he leaves the restroom, without intimidating.

If you’re going to confront them on a bigger issue, like, let’s say she is a Debbie Downer, you might have to do a little more coaching on the many ways they can have more positive interactions with others in social settings.

Always remember, no one is broken or wrong. Everyone is just doing the best they can with what they have. You can offer assistance if they are willing to do their part along the way.

If they are not willing to participate with you in kind, then bless them as they make their own way. You may not be the best match to assist them or maybe this is just not a good time for them.

God bless you for reaching out, the world is a better place because of you.

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