certified relationship coach

Reconsider Before Hiring a Relationship Private Investigator

The idea of hiring a private investigator to uncover your partner’s potential infidelities can be tempting, especially when suspicion and fear start to cloud your relationship. We’ve all seen shows like Cheaters that sensationalize detective work, offering dramatic confrontations and tearful confessions. However, these TV episodes are highly fictionalized, and in reality, the outcome is rarely as enthusiastically life-changing or impressive as you might hope.

When it comes to real-world relationship investigations, the partner seeking answers must be prepared to take full responsibility for whatever follows. In my experience working with couples, the partner desperate to rebuild a troubled relationship often believes that once they have the cold, hard truth, they can initiate some form of intervention. The hope is that by confronting the partner with evidence, the accused will break down, confess their wrongdoings, beg for forgiveness, and work to rebuild what’s been damaged.

Does this happen?

Yes, but it’s rare. In fact, it happens in maybe one out of fifty cases. More often than not, the mere fact that you’ve hired an investigator is enough to push the accused partner to pack their bags and leave, feeling betrayed and violated. This outcome is usually far from what the suspicious partner hoped for, but unfortunately, it’s the most common result.

The Harsh Reality of Hiring an Investigator

When the dust settles, you’re left with the heartache of a relationship that’s fallen apart and a pile of damaging evidence. What’s even more disheartening is the realization that the information uncovered by the investigator is likely only a fraction of the deceit or wrongdoing throughout the relationship. Investigations are never complete, and much of the betrayal that happened before or outside the scope of the investigation will remain unknown. You’re left holding a metaphorical bag of painful evidence without closure or resolution.

In the rare cases where a partner does admit to their misdeeds and offer reparations, the road to recovery is still treacherous. About half of those relationships ultimately fail anyway, leaving the once-hopeful partner in even more pain after prolonging the inevitable.

A More Effective Approach

If you decide to hire an investigator, there may be a more strategic approach to handling the information. Rather than immediately confronting your partner, consider keeping the evidence to yourself for a while. Use this time to evaluate the relationship without tipping your hand. By observing your partner’s behavior and your own feelings, you can better assess whether there’s any real hope of salvaging the relationship.

If you eventually conclude that reconciliation is impossible, you can choose to end the relationship on your own terms. You may or may not decide to share the evidence as part of your closure, but be prepared for the possibility that your partner will turn the tables and accuse you of being obsessive, paranoid, or even mentally unstable for having gone to such lengths. It takes tremendous courage and emotional strength to navigate this situation, and you’ll need to be ready to face not only the fallout from your partner but also the internal struggle of living with the truths you’ve uncovered.

Things to Consider Before Hiring an Investigator

Before deciding to enlist a private investigator, here are some tips to consider:

1. Ask Yourself Why You’re Doing This: Are you seeking closure or proof for a legal reason, or are you hoping the evidence will give you leverage to change your partner’s behavior? Be clear about your motivations because the results may not bring the resolution you’re hoping for.
2. Prepare for Emotional Fallout: No matter the outcome, the information you uncover will change your relationship forever. Be prepared to deal with intense emotions like anger, hurt, and betrayal.
3. Know the Consequences: Once you hire an investigator, there’s no going back. Even if your suspicions are proven correct, the discovery process may irreparably damage any trust left in the relationship.
4. Evaluate Your Support System: Before embarking on this path, ensure you have a solid support system in place. Friends, family, or a therapist can help you cope with the emotional toll of what you uncover.
5. Understand the Legal Implications: Depending on your location, the evidence gathered by a private investigator may or may not be admissible in court. If you’re considering divorce or a legal separation, consult a lawyer to understand the potential ramifications.
6. Consider Alternative Solutions: If your relationship is in trouble, consider couples therapy or open communication before jumping to surveillance. Sometimes, confronting your concerns can reveal truths without needing an investigator.
7. Be Ready for Unanswered Questions: An investigation can only provide a small glimpse into your partner’s behavior. Accept that some things may never come to light, and consider whether you can live with that uncertainty.
8. Recognize the Possibility of No Misdeeds: There’s always a chance that your partner is innocent, and the investigation will reveal no wrongdoing. In such cases, how will you rebuild trust after you’ve essentially accused them of betrayal?

Take the time to stop and think about how you would feel if you suddenly had proof of your suspicions, and you may find out that the truth is far more disastrous than you could have ever imagined.

Top 40 Relationship PI Disclosures

Here’s a short list of “What if” scenario examples exploring emotional responses and implications in no particular order:

Investigative Disclosure	What if you…
1. Secret Financial Affairs	discovered your partner had opened credit cards in your name, running up significant debt? How would you feel about the betrayal of trust and financial security?
2. Dual Life	found out your spouse had a second family in another city? Imagine the shock and heartbreak of realizing you weren’t their only commitment.
3. Infidelity with Close Friends	were presented with evidence that your partner was having an affair with your best friend? Consider the feelings of betrayal and the impact on your social circle.
4. Hidden Substance Abuse	learned your spouse was secretly abusing substances while taking care of your children? The fear and anger over their irresponsibility and potential harm to your family would be overwhelming.
5. Financial Betrayal	discovered your partner was diverting funds meant for joint expenses into secret accounts? You might feel a mix of anger, confusion, and distrust, questioning the foundation of your partnership.
6. Online Deception	found out your spouse had multiple online dating profiles? The feeling of being replaced or devalued could be incredibly painful.
7. Clandestine Meetings	learned your partner was meeting someone from their past under the guise of work? Imagine the heartbreak and feelings of inadequacy when confronted with their hidden emotional connection.
8. Using Shared Assets for Affairs	discovered your partner had used your vacation home to host romantic getaways with someone else? You might feel betrayed not only by the affair but also by the violation of a shared space that held memories.
9. Inappropriate Workplace Relationships	found evidence of your spouse engaging in inappropriate relationships at work? The betrayal could lead to deep insecurities about your partner’s commitment and professional integrity.
10. Surveillance Footage of Deception	saw footage of your partner meeting multiple people in secretive circumstances? The visual evidence could create intense feelings of jealousy and inadequacy.
11. Undisclosed Health Risks	discovered your partner had been engaging in risky sexual behavior without informing you of potential health issues? You’d likely feel a mix of betrayal, anger, and fear for your own well-being.
12. Manipulating Family Dynamics	learned that your partner was manipulating family members to turn them against you? The feelings of isolation and betrayal could be devastating.
13. Excessive Monitoring of Partner’s Activities	found out your partner was secretly tracking your whereabouts? You would likely feel violated and mistrusted, questioning the foundation of your relationship.
14. Falsifying Travel Plans	discovered your spouse was lying about business trips to cover up secret meetings? The realization of such deception could lead to feelings of anger and heartbreak.
15. Involvement in Ponzi Schemes	found out your partner was involved in a fraudulent financial scheme? You might feel a mix of shock and fear about the legal implications and financial instability it could cause.
16. Fake Social Media Presence	discovered your partner had a fake social media account to engage with others romantically? The betrayal could create feelings of worthlessness and distrust.
17. Hidden Medical Issues	learned your partner was concealing significant health issues? You’d likely feel anger and betrayal, wishing they had been open with you for the sake of your relationship.
18. Gaslighting Tactics	discovered that your partner had been manipulating your perception of reality? The feelings of confusion and isolation could be profound, leading to a crisis of self-worth.
19. Child Endangerment	found out your partner was endangering your children through reckless behavior? The mix of anger and fear for your children’s safety would be overwhelming.
20. Extravagant Secret Purchases	discovered your spouse had been making extravagant purchases without telling you? Feelings of betrayal and concern about financial stability could arise.
21. Secretive Charitable Donations	learned your partner was donating significant amounts to questionable charities? You might feel confused and suspicious about their motivations.
22. Fake Illness for Sympathy	found out your spouse was faking illness for sympathy? The betrayal could lead to feelings of anger and disillusionment in your relationship.
23. Excessive Flirting in Public	saw your partner engaging in flirtatious behavior in public? You might feel embarrassed and humiliated, questioning their commitment.
24. Undercover Meetings with Exes	discovered your partner was meeting with an ex under the guise of “closure”? The emotional pain of that betrayal could be deep and lasting.
25. Diverting Funds for Personal Pleasures	found evidence that your partner was using shared funds for personal hobbies without telling you? Feelings of resentment and betrayal could surface.
26. Manipulating Work Relationships	learned your partner was engaging in inappropriate relationships with colleagues? The impact on your trust and their professional reputation could be significant.
27. Use of Intimate Videos Against Partner	discovered your partner recorded private moments without your consent? Feelings of violation and anger would likely overwhelm you.
28. Engaging in Dangerous Activities	found evidence that your spouse was involved in dangerous activities? The fear for their safety and your family’s stability could lead to intense worry.
29. Secret Gambling Addiction	learned your partner had a gambling addiction, risking your financial security? You would likely feel betrayed and anxious about your future together.
30. Clandestine Illegal Activities	discovered your spouse was involved in illegal activities, such as trafficking or distribution of controlled substances? The shame and fear of legal repercussions could weigh heavily on your relationship.
31. Sharing Private Information	found out your partner had been disclosing private details about your relationship to others? Feelings of betrayal and violation of trust would be acute.
32. Concealing Serious Past Trauma	learned that your partner had hidden significant past trauma affecting your relationship? The realization might lead to feelings of frustration and concern for their well-being.
33. Creating Fake Alibis	discovered your partner had been fabricating alibis? The betrayal could lead to a breakdown of trust and connection.
34. Manipulative Parenting Tactics	found evidence that your spouse was using your children to manipulate you? Feelings of anger and helplessness could arise.
35. Secretive Online Shopping	discovered your partner was hiding excessive online purchases? The breach of trust could lead to anger and anxiety about financial stability.
36. Plotting Your Demise	found yourself in possession of an audio recording of your spouse conspiring with your stepson to murder you? How would you feel about finding out? What would you do?
37. Jealous Obsessive	discovered that your partner had an obsessive, jealous side, and you found out that your car, drawers, and personal belongings were being rifled through in search of clues that you might be having an affair?
38. Clandestine Travel Plans	found out your spouse, who has been planning trips under false pretenses, using work or other excuses to hide potential affairs? Having this information is a heavy burden on the bearer of said details.
39. Sexting and Virtual Sex	received recordings of your partner engaging in explicit conversations and virtual sex acts with strangers online? Your partner sees no harm in this, as it is not “physical” sex, only an affair of imagination.
40. Hidden Assets and Properties	your partner is discovered to own properties or assets not disclosed to the other, indicating potential financial deception?

That is just a small sample of some of the scenarios that some have encountered as the result of hiring a private investigator specializing in relationships. How do you feel about doing so now?

Also, note that hiring such an investigator can be pretty expensive.

Final Thoughts

Hiring a private investigator to monitor your partner is not a decision to be taken lightly. It’s a path that often leads to more pain, less resolution, and, in many cases, the end of the relationship. If you’re considering this route, make sure you fully understand the emotional and practical consequences. Sometimes, the best approach is not to gather evidence but to face the situation head-on, with open communication and a willingness to confront difficult truths without the need for surveillance.

Ultimately, what you uncover may be a small part of a much larger story that you may never know in full. Be prepared for the weight of that truth and the strength it will take to move forward, whatever the outcome.

Worldly Love vs Awakened Love

We all want to be loved, and there’s nothing better than being in the throes of love and passion.

With many years consulting in love and relationships, it’s generally accepted that when two people get together there are going to be problems. All this relationship drama contributes to the bottom line of so many industries in America, it’s not just the relationship coaches, keeping their caseloads maxed out, with the constant struggle of helping couples with their constant struggle.

In the office, there are issues that show up regularly, and every once in awhile, you are truly surprised or shocked by something new. But the struggle remains. My book, 7 Phases of Love, depicts a general path of growth amidst the romantic love spectrum and offers assistance to those on such a journey, as well as tips, tools, and techniques for the people who work with them, assisting couples to navigate the treacherous waters of romantic love.

Oh, yeah, I am David M Masters, Lead Coach, Trainer, and Transfiguration Specialist at St. Paul’s Free University, and you can find out more about me at davidmmasters.com. The word on the street is that St. Paul’s Free University is looking for teachers, trainers, and instructors. If you think you might be interested in joining us to help make the world a better place. Feel free to contact me or talk to any of our presenters here, today.

The 7 phases of love follow the path from hormonal, horn honking, drooling, lust-driven love, all the way to the harmonic love frequency fully honoring each other in positive partnership.

No matter where you are on your love journey, there are bound to be some challenges along the way, and at any time, either you, your partner or both of you can call it quits and walk away.

Call it quits?

That’s worldly love, and you know what I’m talking about. The kind of love that’s like a disease that eats away at your heart until there’s nothing left. No love. Love is a heart-eating disease.

Love is like a poisonous virus that spreads the highly contagious disease of love’s toxins that promote possessiveness, jealousy, envy, suspicion, bitterness, dishonesty, controlling, abuse, and the judgment of others and yourself.

You’ve loved, stood there in faith, totally open and naked to your partner, and where did that get you? Far more misery than pleasure, that’s for sure. It’s no wonder you want to bail out of the love boat. Who wouldn’t?

Especially in our present-day society, where relationships are disposable, and in worldly love, “the world” profits when relationships thrive, and even more when they fail.

It is easier to walk away (and far more profitable for the powers that be) than it is to do the work necessary to create a sustainable relationship. So, at the first sight of something you don’t like in a relationship, you start looking for the EXIT sign.

Anyone want to know what the Top 10 Reasons Relationships Fail are?

Top 10 Reasons Relationships Fail

basic compatibility
communication styles
disinterest
abuse
lack of trust
betrayal
unmet expectations
unfulfilled obligations
money issues
infidelity

Of course, this is an over-simplification of what is really going on behind the scenes because you have a lifetime of accumulated pain, wounds, and emotional triggers, that cause you to recoil at the first hint of trouble (even if there is no actual trouble at hand).

Your friends will counsel you to, “Run, David, run!” because they don’t want to see you suffer needlessly (or again), plus, they miss your uninterrupted attention. There’s a good chance that your best friends see their relationship with you as far more meaningful than that of your mate, and in those times when things are not looking good, they can taunt you with, “See, I told you so.”

You might be surprised that your friends are really not looking out for your best interests in your partnership relationship as much as they are their relationship with you, and there may have been some building animosity since you’ve been distracted by your love relationship.

So, things are not going as well as you might like them to, and that’s when you find yourself in my office, or the office of any of my contemporaries, asking, “Is there hope for us?”

Relationship counselors make bank on your struggle in relationships. The more dysfunction, the more money the therapists make. When you come in as a couple, we get a hundred bucks. When you drift further apart and come in separately, we make twice as much.

We do our best to coach you through the 7 phases of love, and the further you progress, the easier it gets.

And we expend our greatest efforts to help you negotiate as we mediate and try to help you discuss and argue about your relationship endlessly, making agreements, and promises to each other in our presence, knowing that as soon as you leave the office, all bets are off.

It’s just deteriorated too much for far too long. You’ve tried to fake it till you make it, and you just can’t take it anymore.

But totally bailing out is hard, and frightening. I mean, take a look around at all the other relationships you can see self-destructing before your very eyes, and you’ve heard the horror stories. The heartbreak, the battles over this and that.

It’s no wonder you feel helpless, hopeless, like a victim, or a prisoner in your own life.

Can you make it work?

Yes, with enough hard work, if both partners cooperate, and pay a relationship coach to help level the playing field, you can find a way to make your relationship work.

Let’s face it, you’re two different people, and you’re supposed to aspire to becoming “one?”

Is that possible?

Yes, you can each remain to be fully yourselves, and combined, the two of you culminate in another entity, as a couple, your relationship is expressed as another being, not unlike a corporation, and incorporation of two souls into one entity.

But rarely does this happen naturally, usually, it is due to patience, sacrifice, and lots of hard, sometimes painful work. And amidst all the hard work and pain of trying to work it out, it’s easier, to say,

“I’m out.”

And if you bail out, the system profits wildly from your decision.

The system profits from two households being supported when there used to be one. Everything from toiletries to insurance rates and taxes go up.

There is hope?

And there is. And it can be summed up in these two words,

UNCONDITIONAL LOVE

Which sounds so wonderfully romantic.

What does it mean?

It means your partner will love and respect you 24/7. Isn’t that what you want? Isn’t that what we all want?

You want to be with someone who trusts you. Who doesn’t question you? Who allows you to be the person you really are?

You want this unconditional lover not to question your underlying motives, constantly asking about your whereabouts when you’re out of sight.

You want someone who loves you no matter what. No matter what challenges you may face in life. Just to be there, supporting you, in the knowledge that everything will work out okay.

If you need help, he or she will be there for you, supporting you, loving you, without accusation or judgment.

When you boil it down to its simplest form, you want someone who loves you unconditionally. Someone who will hold your hands tenderly yet firmly, look you in the eyes, and say to you from the bottom of their heart,

“I love you no matter what.”

No matter what you say, no matter what you do, I love you.

No matter what happens, what challenges you may face, I will be here for you, loving you, no matter what.

Wow! That’s it!

THAT is unconditional love, and we all want that.

Do you want that?

If you do, say it by declaring a resounding, “Yes!” (Yes.)

In order for you to get what you want, that unconditional love, you need to define what that looks like for you.

Take three minutes and write down at least 10 ways that you know you will feel like you are loved unconditionally by your partner. Ready? Go…

What are the ways you know you can feel totally loved and accepted unconditionally by your partner? Write them down.

Some ideas: Believes me, doesn’t argue, challenge or debate with me. Does not lay down the law. Doesn’t threaten the relationship by threatening to walk out. Loves me just the way I am, warts and all. Cherishes all the little things I do for us. Listens to what I have to say. Negotiates with me, so that we both can have what we want out of life. Wants to support and work with me for the greater good. Never raises his or her voice, threatens, or abuses. Wants to show me love when I need it, when I want it. Loves and respects me, my family, my hobbies, my potential.

Whatever it is for you, write it down.

This list represents how you know you are loved unconditionally.

You say, Oh, yeah, baby, I want a man or a woman, like that.

And if you’re in a relationship with someone, right now, unless you are our hosts today, Mark and Lynetta, you’re thinking I need to find someone, like that because my partner is not capable of being what I want.

And this is the one biggest key in a sustainable loving relationship:

UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.

If you really want it, let me hear it from you again, and say, “Yes!” (Yes)

Now, keeping all that in mind, here’s something that you might find as interesting as I do:

When I ask a client if he or she wants unconditional love, they enthusiastically declare how much they really want to be loved unconditionally, no matter what.

But when I ask them if they are willing to

LOVE THEIR PARTNER NO MATTER WHAT

Their response is a resounding,

HELL NO!

We want it. We want it more than anything, but we’re unwilling to give it, and therein lies the rub.

And that is why I developed the Awakening to True Love Workshop.

In these workshops, we take the love relationship to a whole new level, far beyond the 7 phases of love, where we work with people in traditional relationship counseling.

In traditional or “worldly love,” unconditional love is not possible because we get in the way of giving it. It’s not that we don’t want it, because we want it desperately, but, for the most part, we do not have the ability to give it within ourselves.

In awakened love, in contrast to worldly love, the couple is encouraged to focus more on truly loving one’s self, more than trying to impress or serve the other person in the relationship.

Once they’ve done the work of cleansing, removing blockages, and healing wounds from the past, they are in a far better place to truly love themselves.

Following this sacred work, the couple is able to fully open up and allow their love to overflow to the other partner.

The competition fades away and the two can truly become one. Both individuals, completely separate but together unlimited possibility and extremely powerful in the world working in perfect harmony.

We have a ceremony at the conclusion of the Awakening to True Love Workshop where we release all those things that stand between us and the authentic true love we desire, and send it off in a burning love lantern, and those things that held us back soars off with the glowing lantern.

And I’ve done this often enough to know, the question that is on your lips, right now:

“What happens, if it doesn’t work?”

It always works, 100 percent of the time.

Your lives can grow apart, and in an awakened love relationship, you can both agree to go your separate ways, no harm, no foul. Without guilt or blame, only love. True love.

This is the nature of true love.

If we are meant to be, then fine. If not, then, fine. God bless you, and God bless me, as we make our own way to our destiny, wherever that might be.

It’s a little like dropping your partner off at the airport.

I love you no matter what.

In awakened love, love is unconditional. I love me so much I can love you no matter what.

I love you no matter what you think.

I love you no matter what you say.

I love you no matter what you do.

And if we’re no longer meant to be? I love you then, too.

I love you enough to let you do whatever you need to do, even if it’s without me.

That is unconditional love.

My name’s David M. Masters, and you can find out more about me at davidmmasters.com

Awaken to true love, if you dare.

Certified Relationship Coach

Apply cutting edge technologies to your soulmate, love and relationship coaching or counseling practice.

When two people get together things are quite enthusiastic in the beginning as both partners are united by similar brain chemistry which is Mother Nature’s secret cocktail which influences the race to actively breed and expand. After Mother Nature feels like her goal has been served, the chemistry subsides, and one or both members of the couple are left wondering what happened?

In a world where 60 percent of marriages end in divorce and only 21 percent of well-intentioned unmarried couples find their relationships sustainable following a three- to five-year period.

It takes a degree of work and intention for a relationship to grow and flourish over time.

This leaves a huge number of people seeking out professionally certified relationship coaches to help navigate the coupling minefield.

Certified relationship coaches help bring people together in a way that creates a successful sustainable relationship in a world when society actually promotes and profits from disposable relationships.

Certified relationship coaches are commonly referred to as “Love Miracle Workers,” but the real magic that happens within the offices of relationship coaches certified by St. Paul’s Free University around the world, is a result of one or both relationship members doing the “deep work” which creates miraculous results in a couple.

Even deeply wounded lovers who have declared they would never marry, find themselves having a change of heart following the healing of deep inner wounds, they might not even be able to recognize on the surface, and this is a common reason why most relationships fail. Because one or both partners do not have the capacity to open themselves to an authentic open and loving relationship.

As a certified relationship coach, you will be able to challenge lovers to do the deep work necessary to create a truly loving and fully supportive long-term relationship.

Couples find themselves in the offices of certified relationship coaches when their relationship is in a state of crisis. If you have St. Paul’s Free University certification, you need not be intimidated by relationships in crisis because you are keenly qualified to help a couple look beyond the surface issues which the couple faces as challenges that appear to be insurmountable.

Even when intimacy seems to fade, relationship coaches who are fully certified by SPFU, are qualified to reignite the fire of intimacy in an otherwise healthy and loving relationship. Intimacy is the emotional adhesive which ensures the successful longevity of love and passion in lovers in relationships which can survive the test of time.

Help your clients achieve their highest and best in the area of love and romance in their lives while discovering, “what is a soulmate?”

One of the hottest issues in service consulting is in the area of assisting clients in finding their one and only true love or helping them maximize their current marriage relationships.

Certified Relationship Coaches get the latest tips, tools, techniques, and methodologies that help to solve issues related to finding love, creating romance, leading to marriage or achieving marital relationship success and longevity.

Demystify how to find love, create and use the law of attraction for finding love in all the right places at the right times.

Clients take personal and spiritual responsibility for their own relationship success and become their own matchmaker learning to read and interpret the soulmate signs.

Get your certification from St Paul’s Free University and become the reigning expert in the field of true love, soul mates, romance and relationships coaching while earning CEU credits.

See: St Paul’s Free University for more information

See you at the Soulmate Wizardry event.