I Found My Soul Mate!

Ever since I was a little tyke, I fantasized about one day finding my one true love and living happily ever after.

Then all my dreams came true; I was never so thrilled as to have found the woman of my dreams right after high school, fell deeply in love, shouted from the rooftops, “I found my soul mate!”

I found my soul mate

I got married, raised a family and lived happily ever after. (That is, if you can define “ever after” as being a limited amount of time.)

Even though I was armed in relationship training – and helped others find ways to prolong their relationships – I discovered individuals participate in relationships for different reasons (want more on those details? Don’t hesitate to ask).

While we might desire to find our soul mate, it appears the soul mate relationship is transient.

It’s one thing to enter a full-on relationship with the first pretty gal or handsome fella to pay attention to you, but if you’ve exerted a great deal of effort to find “the one,” you’d think it reasonable to expect a higher degree of relationship longevity.

As I witnessed the relationships of others struggle, change and disintegrate, I began to wonder why?

Even I, the devout love seeker and purveyor of love, could not seem to sustain a life-long relationship.

Is it possible to find the perfect person to live out the rest of your days with?

The answer must be, “yes,” because other people do it; or do they?

Certainly there are examples of relationships that are sustained over a lifetime… at what cost?

If you are in a position to allow the participants to be open and honest about their relationship, separately and together, you may discover most of them are not as lovely as they appear to be on the surface.

I reasoned there are different kinds of soul mates who make appearances throughout your life’s journey. Some are not going to play the “mate” part very long because it is their job to affect the growth and expansion of your “soul.”

Granted, it can take some time and effort to first imagine, and then realize, the blessing in each wild and crazy relationship entanglement; but it is there.

Friedrich Nietzsche blessed our vernacular with words that have become commonplace, “That which does not kill us, makes us stronger.” These words ring true, unless you choose to let whatever-it-is destroy you, as you give up, allow yourself to deteriorate and finally cease to be.

You Choose

Every action has a reaction, but you get to determine in which direction the energy will flow – whether positive or negative – the choice is yours.

You Change

You also have the opportunity – at any given point in time – to change.

If the direction that you originally recoiled was southerly, toward the negative… that’s okay.

“I will never fall in love again.”

You can – now, whenever you are ready or now – change your direction to your northern-bound more positive destination.

“I am ready for the best love ever.”

Life is a journey; and exciting plethora of emotional experiences all designed to allow us to grow into the highest and best version of ourselves.

Is it hard?

Sometimes it is hard – and you may not be able to see it, in the tragedy of the moment – but as you review the tapes of the game (yes, this is a sports reference) you will discover how each misstep helped to educate you, giving you the opportunity to hone your skills and make you better (even better, thanks to slow motion and frame-by-frame review).

Is it worth it?

Nothing else is.
Are you ready to receive your soul mate now?

I believe You Can Get What You Want

Love Like It’s the Only Thing That Matters

Many people when they come to the end of their lives regret two things: The things they neglected to do and the love that they neglected to give.

Live and love like its all that matters because it isThankfully, my life is full of life lived to its fullest featuring many accomplishments and lots of love – all kinds of love – always authentically given sometimes reciprocal others unrequited; all enormously incredible and without regret.

When having half a notion to consider tackling an idea or project, I have been in a position to launch with enough fortitude to give it the ol’ college try. The results have run the gamut, everything from hilarious failure to incredible success (and everything in between); never a dull moment in the life of Masters.

Some people who have witnessed the less than desirable results of some of my projects expected me to feel bad about the, “failure.” Though, I’ve never looked at any of them as failures, only lessons learned along the way, cumulative as I continue to move forward.

My clients comprehend this never-say-die attitude (even have some of it reserved for themselves), while other folks would have thrown in the towel long ago.

In regular social circles I humbly practice restraint so as not to appear to have such a vast degree of varied experiences (unless, of course, I’m in the company of one of my friends or clients who also have the same kind of personal portfolio).

In love, I practice the same regard for others. There is a kind of love that is relentless, like that which is shared amongst my children, siblings and extended family. Romantic relationships can be a little trickier. Certainly I can be all-in and love full on but that is not always the case for the other participant. I realize that we all are just doing the best we can with what we have. And though it may be painful in the moment… it is what it is.

For me, it is better to live a love without take-backs. That is to say, if I ever loved someone (as a lover or as a friend) I never disregard that love, no matter the circumstance.

I believe it is better to let bygones be bygones and just continue to love, even if the other has moved on. The pain and angst that goes along with holding a grudge or maintaining any level of bad feelings only hurts myself and dishonors the love and respect previously assigned to the individual.

Every relationship is an opportunity to better understand the human condition and each experience plays an intricate part in my continued training, giving me more insight to share with friends and clients who may find themselves in a similar situation.

I like that Dave Mason song lyric, “So let’s leave it alone, ’cause we can’t see eye to eye. There ain’t no good guy, there ain’t no bad guy. There’s only you and me and we just disagree.”

I also understand that not everyone is called to a forever love and regard for others, and that’s okay, too.

We are all just trying to make it though this life to get to the others side; there is no right way, or wrong way. And if you’re hating on me now… Believe me, it’s all right. We will laugh about this on the other side.

If you’re struggling with the intimate details of a relationship that gone awry, a good relationship coach can help keep a grip on your own piece of mind, while maintaining a manageable level of damage control.

Live and love like it’s all that matters…

because it is.

Love is a Terrible Thing to Waste

Surely there is no greater love than to experience that sweet connection between two human beings, separated by bodies but united in a strong love-connection that transcends time and space. This love can take many forms, like friendship, familial love, appreciative/respectful love, romantic love, eternal love, love for the others and the world, etc…

Being a love-child of the sixties (this is where I place the blame, though I realize the source could have come from elsewhere) I resonated with the love vibration that permeated the time. I was not attracted to – nor did I participate in – the “free love” movement that was prevalent back in the day, rather I embraced the idea of loving one another, accepting people for who they are and allowing everyone to find their own way, loving them all along their journey.

My sincere desire to participate in management of great love is likely why I was so attracted to ministerial work early on because the religious model that I was exposed to (then, in the late seventies) seemed to promote this kind of love. My fore’ into the business of religion did not turn into a life-long occupation, yet I continued in my personal work of helping others achieve their highest and best, while continuing to seek and promote higher forms of love and respect for others.

Throughout my life I always found it interesting (not only from a purely scientific viewpoint) that – even though I believed that each human was blessed with an innate capacity for love – some people seemed to be incapable of being able to truly connect to other individuals, experience compassion, empathy, or have a love-appreciation for concepts or things, like art. To witness the most beautiful sunset, or some other scene in nature, examine the details of someone’s art, see a heart-felt musical performance, see someone struggling for survival and to not be emotionally impacted; this surprised me.

Nowadays, I can wrap my head around the concept of someone who is devoid of an ability to love (as most the rest of us would define it), as is the case for most sociopaths, psychopaths or others at various locations along the anti social personality disorder spectrum; but otherwise “normal” people?

People with the inability to be moved to tears for anything except for pain or great fear…

Of course, I was raised under the tenet of, “big boys don’t cry,” like many of us (especially those of the male persuasion) and I maintained a tearless approach to life until the fateful day in 1982, following the viewing of E.T. with my young son, Nathanial. As the credits rolled, we both sat in silence, until he broke into the tearful sentiment, “I didn’t want him to go.” I joined in, and haven’t stopped since.

And I get that in our current societal structure, love is seen as weakness. In this respect it is understandable that one might numb one’s self to the idea of opening up enough to allow a wildly painful experience. These people had the capacity to love, but have taken extensive efforts to dismantle the ability in favor of self-preservation.

To complicate the landscape even more, there’s the whole “battle of the sexes” role reversal that figures into the picture of our love metamorphosis. In the past men were dominant over women, now women are exerting their dominance in an unlimited variety of ways.

Love is a terrible thing to waste shredder sign love waste
And still there are others who have never really had the ability to love… What about those people? Are they more inclined to use and manipulate other people serving their own selfish wants, needs and desires (but not in a narcissistic way)? Do they maintain relationships that are seen as highly disposable? And how does this all impact others who are authentic, loving people?

In my work (and in my life) it is not uncommon for me to meet people whose hearts have been broken by others who never had the capacity to return love in kind. Some of them heal and look for a more authentic love, while others allow their hearts to harden vowing to never love again.

To those with hardened hearts, I beseech you, consider learning to love again; the world needs your love now, more than ever.

I believe there is a progressive wave of love that is spreading throughout this planet as part of our human evolution.

What part will you play in this loving future?

See also: Making Sense of Wasted Love

See you at the Soulmate Wizardry event.

Love is all there really is

Life offers us so many distractions from all that is beautiful, all that is kind, all that is magnificent and perfect in every way.

It starts at the very earliest of ages, trying to fit all the various activities into the 24 hours we all have in a day, and it appears things just pop-up out of nowhere – just to knock you off balance – throwing your life a little off track.

There’s the rushing, here to there, in an attempt to take care of business as we pursue life in the fast lane… Or for those of us in the slow lane, we might be lying on the grass on a clear summer night, looking up at the stars, only to find that you can barely see the stars for all the stuff flying and floating around in the sky.

On the way to your destination, billboards, transit signage and a myriad of other distractions are all interrupting your thoughts in an attempt to distract, encourage you to buy or modify your thoughts.

This pace continues until later in life and to some degree until we take our last breath. In those final moments you realize that all that really mattered was how you loved.

How did you express your love to others?

When did you feel the most loved?

When my grandmother was transitioning from this life, she was in a hospital bed, unresponsive… but you could feel the love in the room. She laid there, heart beating, until after her son arrived from San Diego. After he arrived and shared his final moments with her, surrounded by her family, she quietly left the room; in love.

At the time, I was busy starting my own family and had not spent very much time with my grandmother in her final years; but I was confident that she loved me and knew that I loved her deeply, regardless of the separation. Although in that moment I decided to initiate the intention to expend more effort in communicating my love to others.

Love is the basis of all my relationships, personal and professional. And when life tries to throw me a whammy, I try to switch perspectives around until I can see it through the eyes of love (which can take some time to adjust).

Do I get surprised, distracted, upset or angry? Yes. Then I start doing the work of looking for the love.

Has the openness of love left me vulnerable? Have I been hurt? Yes and yes. Then I look for the love, the love (or lack of love) in the participants, the people (and pets) who love me and I find love’s repose.

Love is all there really is everything else is an illusion

Love is all there really is; everything else is an illusion

In my final moments, I know I will be reviewing the love in my life. I will have loved deeply which has led to some pain; the glorious massive discomfort that comes with separation from something so meaningful. Some call it a broken heart and in some moments, my heart was crushed and bleeding out, as I embraced the fullness of the loss of love or a loved one. And it was good. Good in the sense that it validated the love enormously.

Expressed love is vulnerable, sometimes it hurts and sometimes it is the sweetest feeling you can ever have.

You could build a wall around your heart – many have – in an attempt to safeguard yourself from being victimized. Or, you could love like there’s no tomorrow.

You could start today.

What about yesterday?

The love life that you live from this point forward washes over all the unexpressed love in your past. Yesterday’s gone.

Love is alive and spreading like a sacred virus throughout our bodies, emitting a love energy that influences everything around us.

And in all things, if you look for the love, you will find it.

Today is love – expressed loving – without regret.