Tag: love

The Disease That Kills Love and Relationships

Ever wonder why your relationships just don’t work out right?

In the beginning, you feel as though you’ve met your one true love and it’s not long before this magnificent love dream come true devolves into your worst nightmare.

Top 10 Reasons Relationships Fail

Desperate to save your precious dream, you explore all the challenges that caused your relationship to be compromised or fail. Therapeutic intervention dissects your relationship and all its flaws such as

        1. basic compatibility
        2. communication styles
        3. disinterest
        4. abuse
        5. trust
        6. betrayal
        7. unmet expectations
        8. unfulfilled obligations
        9. money issues
        10. infidelity

The top 10 reasons relationships fail.

These top 10 reasons that relationships fail are not why relationships fail, nor are any of the other so-called reasons; they are only treated as symptoms, while the underlying disease continues to spread – not only in your relationship – but most relationships in the world.

The real reason why relationships fail is due to the spread of this dangerous disease which spreads like a viral wildfire. This disease, left to itself will destroy and break down every love relationship we’re involved in, not just out romantic relationships. This viral disease leads to the failure and destruction of all kinds of relationships, including a significant other, family, mom, dad, brother, sister, children, coworkers, bosses and platonic friends.

All our relationships are at risk of being infected by this deadly disease, which is the real root cause of the death of any relationship.

The Truth: Why Relationships Fail

You might be surprised to discover there is only one reason that relationships fail. If you’re fervently seeking to find true love, you will never find it if you are infected with the disease.

Wonder what the disease is that will thwart any relationship you have cause it to fall to pieces, no matter how you try to save it?

The name of the disease is

LOVE

Yes, “love;” the definition of it, the concept of it and everything you believe about it, love is the disease.
What if

Everything You Know About Love is Wrong?

You’ve been infected with the disease which has spread more and more with every interaction you’ve had with other relationships as far back as you can remember (and before).

Your parents, society, the media and Disney have planted and spread the disease so pervasively that you couldn’t recognize true love if you saw it.

Join me for the

Awakening to True Love Workshop

Where in this all day event, you will learn what love really is, how to have it, get it and keep it without fear.

Awakening to True Love Workshop
Saturday, February 11, 2017
10:00 am -to- 6:00 pm
Reiki Ranch, Chehalis, Washington
$120.00

Click for Discount Tickets $50.00 (save $70)

Eliminate the poison that spreads the highly contagious disease of love that promotes possessiveness, jealousy, envy, suspicion, bitterness, dishonesty, controlling, abuse, judging others and yourself.

Instead, you will learn to love unconditionally and have true love in your intimate relationships amidst a society dominated by the disease of love.

You will find the source of the power of true love emanates from within your heart and does not come from outside yourself. Thinking that love comes from anywhere else is the lie that germinates the disease of love’s seeds.

In this 1 day event you will

    • Learn to forgive and love yourself as you learn about and eradicate the poisonous disease of love.
    • Discover your inner strengths and realize the opinion of others, criticisms or expectations have no effect on or power over you.
    • Eliminate the risk of betrayal as true love’s trust cannot be broken.
    • Get to know you, who you are and who you were in your youth prior to the installation of this deceitful and manipulative viral software.
    • Get in touch with your inner beauty and purity as you share your true love for another with your newfound peace and serenity from within.

Your true love accepts others just the way they are; without criticism, opinions, or judgment.

Awakening to True Love in self-awareness, self-love and self-forgiveness empower you to accept yourself, love yourself in the mirror, loving your relationship whether it be with your spouse, friends or relatives but most of all learning to love yourself regardless of what anybody else thinks or says.

 

Learn how to love yourself and by extension everyone and everything else that is out there in our universe.

Awakening to True Love Workshop
Reiki Ranch, Chehalis, Washington

Call (360) 748-4426, or email reikiranch@gmail.com to reserve your spot today. Seating for this event is limited.

Are You a Hawk or a Prairie Dog?

Each of us has our own relationship style, with each individual this starts from the day we are born with the surroundings, experiences as a child, and early adulthood that make us who we are today as a person.

Taking these experiences with us into adult relationships, when we first fall in love we call this the ecstasy period. It’s a joyful period that takes us back to the innocence in the infancy of pure thoughts and feelings, but as the relationship continues we also carry the fears from childhood that we have experienced and those fears can affect your relationship. Whether it be a sudden death of a loved one, which may affect a person severely and they may show signs such as a fear of abandonment and project these fears onto their partner. Their partner doesn’t know why he or she may be acting out in ways that affect the relationship negatively. If things such as these are addressed and communicated to each other, the couple can learn ways to cope with such fears

It’s not uncommon for two people with opposing personalities to be attracted to each other, after all don’t opposites attract? For example, you might find yourself an introvert paired up with an extrovert. I call this the Prairie Dog and the Hawk relationship. I’ll explain, while prairie dogs spend most of their time underground they do come out to play and check out the landscape. The hawk, on the other hand, spends his time gliding around, checking out its surroundings, and is always got his eye on everything. The prairie dog is content to retreat back into his underground once more if feels threatened.

If you find yourself in a prairie dog/hawk relationship, here are some tools you can use to bridge the gap to keep your communication going in order to have a successful long-term relationship.

If you can understand the prairie dog person and the things that they have gone through as a child, you may be able to understand why they may have traits such as anxiety, feel they’re not good enough because a parent or another authority figure in their childhood constantly put them down, etc.  The hawk is just being a hawk and they’re not aware that their actions are frightening the prairie dog into his underground retreat. which makes the hawk angry because it feels the prairie dog is withdrawing from the relationship but that’s not the case.

If you happen to be in this relationship then you must realize that this is the time you must have patience and understanding that this prairie dog needs time and space to think about how to handle things. The more and more you attack, yell or scream at the prairie dog the more he will run and hide.

For example, the prairie dog is out playing and the hawk flies over because it wants to play too. But the prairie dog runs and hides in its hole. This makes the hawk upset and hurts the hawk’s feelings. The hawk doesn’t know why and doesn’t know what’s going on. The hawk goes down to the prairie dog’s hole and says, “Please come out here, we need to have a talk.” The prairie dog says, “I don’t want to talk to you. I’m happy in my hole.”

The hawk says I’m not trying to scare you, intimidate you or make you feel bad, but I love you, and I want to understand why we’re having this trouble and can’t seem to have fun playing with each other.” Reluctantly, the prairie dog agrees to come out and talk.

The prairie dog and the hawk set side by side. The hawk reaches out and touches the prairie dog in a caring manner and says, “I care about you and I would never do anything to hurt you. I just want to understand why you run away when I try to come by and play?”

After talking, it is revealed that the prairie dog is frightened when he sees the shadow of the hawk fly over because many years ago the prairie dog was playing with his brother one day when a hawk’s shadow flew over them. The young prairie dog witnessed the brother being mauled and eaten by the hawk. That is why when he sees a hawk’s shadow fly overhead he runs and hides. Nothing against the hawk.

Moved by the prairie dog’s story, the hawk says, “I would never do anything to hurt you or scare you. What can we do so that you don’t feel frightened when I fly overhead?”

After talking for a while, they agree that an acceptable solution would be for the hawk to whistle the prairie dog’s favorite tune as it flies overhead so that the prairie dog would know that is was his hawk who loved him and wanted to play and not a danger.

My point is, a relationship like this can work out with the right communication and understanding perhaps this may help you in a relationship where you find yourself either being the Hawk or the Prairie Dog.

 

Write the Greatest Love Story Ever

When you think about the greatest love stories of all time, certain love icons come to mind such as Romeo and Juliet, Lancelot and Guinevere, Mark Anthony and Cleopatra and Tristan and Isolde. While stories, like these, mesmerize the minds of many a lover over time to seek out relationship potentials similar to what are known as the greatest love stories, a closer look at these stories reveals they may not have been all they were cracked up to be and certainly are not really good examples of relationships to model in real life.

In case you haven’t noticed, the ends of these stories are more often than not terrifyingly tragic. Who wants to sign on for that? Don’t most of us lean more toward the idea of a happily ever after as a consequence of our greatest love of all time?

I think most of us could agree, if we were to write our own love story it would come to a glorious conclusion full of trustworthiness, faithfulness, shared vision, true love and happiness with a bit of adventure thrown in for flavor, leading to a happily ever after type of ending. This sounds much more appealing to me than those aforementioned heralded greatest love stories which did feature passionate love affairs (a necessary component to any tale of true love) but the story rapidly devolves into dysfunction and death not only of the love affair but the death of one or both of the lovers.

It is all so dramatic, as if the most sought-after love is so impossible that the only price to pay is to sacrifice one’s own life for hope of experiencing a brief passionate love. Really?

While we might reside ourselves to believe that God the Almighty writes the story which we all must follow or our fates are written in the stars, the truth of the matter is this:

You are the author of your own love story

So, you best start writing the love story that you want to experience. Your story can take a dramatic twist with the lover you are now engaged in a relationship with, or you can begin to attract the love you desire in any way you see fit as you are the author of your own love story.

First off, forget those famous love stories with all that drama leading to loss of life. This is your chance to write the perfect love story using characters already at your disposal or with an entirely new cast. The choice is yours.

You can write in all the passion and romance you’ve ever desired without all the drama. You can share a co-creative life experiencing all the best things this life has to offer and you can write the happiest of endings as you walk hand-in-hand into the sunset together in loving celebration of a life well lived.

To do justice to your new story, remember to retain the learning from your previous experiences without carrying the negative energy associated with your past. Though you may have gone through negative experiences keep in mind that these events were only put in your life to help you focus intently – not on what you don’t want (because that will only bring you more of the same) – on what you truly desire as you highest and best.

Start writing about your perfect lover; How will you meet? What will he or she look like? What will their life be like? What are the key characteristics to look for? So that when he or she appears in your life, you will know that he or she is the one based on the character study of your true love.

Keep in mind that while perfection may be too much to expect in this incarnation, allow room for characteristics which may be negotiable, while other may remain deal-breakers. Stay focused but have an open mind regarding the many possibilities which are even now approaching your horizon as you write.

Allow room in your story for unexpected changes and challenges as these lead to increasing the possibility of even greater love as you go through these experiences together, strengthening your bond and commitment. The key is to share the experience fully together, ready for any upset and able to do what is necessary to make it to the other side. What waits on the other side of these obstacles and challenges will exceed all your expectations for having the greatest love of all.

Your romance can – and should be – full of sustained enthusiastic joy and happiness. Happiness does not have to be a temporary state of mind, as you may have thought in the past or read about in other stories. You, as the author of your own true love story, have the advantage of holding the writing instrument firmly in your own hand, no one else is forcing you to write anything, write from your heart and continue to write until all your hopes and dreams begin to materialize.

When faced with a challenge, weigh all your options, make a decision based on what resonates with your heart and makes you feel good. What things are good, lovely, inspirational, expressing joy and happiness; use these criteria to base your decisions on.

In those love stories celebrated as the greatest, often includes betrayal as a key component which could affect your story in a negative manner. Your love interest need not be forbidden, in a relationship with someone else (even though there may be a degree of excitement associated with exercising a lurid affair), or promised to another. It may be in your best interest to attract someone who is authentically available and not involved with another. You can write your love interest as one who is pure and truly available to be yours and yours alone, if that is the true nature of your desire. This will assure a solid foundation for the fulfillment of your future love story.

Think on these things as you write your true love story and watch the details appear and play out throughout your life’s journey. Your story has been quite a ride up to this point, now it is time that you craft and experience the greatest love story of all time.

This love story is yours and yours alone and even greater than any love story told.

See you at the Soulmate Wizardry event.

Lead With Love

Gone are the days of heavy-handed leadership in the civilized society. Civilians are less likely to respond well to militaristic management styles. As we continue to evolve beyond our basic humanity, there is an awareness emerging, a sense that there is something more to life than just being a simple worker bee.

This urge to sense there is more to discover is the root of an enormous awakening in humanity, though the professional communities are more likely to convince you the urge can be (and should be) focused on your individual quest for meaning and purpose through your career choices or working environment.

Excellent upgrades are permeating the workforce of America – and the world – as we look at better ways to treat workers, because the militaristic methodologies or slavery-style leadership is being viewed as cruel or inhumane as workers feel they bring more value to the planet than being reduced to simply being a cog in the wheel.

As humanity continues to evolve society must discover ways to accommodate the evolution of the human mind, body and spirit as we head into the future.

The emergence of a kinder, gentler counter leader approach to leadership is gaining ground among professional management, rather than leading with an iron-fist, we are finding that the most productive leaders

Lead With Love

play-your-cards-right-lead-with-love

While this may be a difficult concept to embrace when you are first introduced to it, we all can agree with the idiom, “You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.” It becomes necessary for leadership to treat their workforce with respect imbuing them with a sense of belonging, dignity and worth to achieve maximum effectiveness and higher retention.

It follows, if leadership were to turn up the volume on respect to its highest level you would be looking at “love” face to face. Hugely uncomfortable for some, but a brilliantly enlightened approach to team-building and the creation of uplifting support staffs.

Promoting camaraderie and a joyous work environment is trending in business cultures and the effects are paying off for the businesses and corporations utilizing these tactics… but as the workforce continues their evolution, there is an increasing sense of finding more meaning in what they do.

The most basic need of humanity is to love and be loved. Though we try to beat the sense of love or being worthy of love out of our societal structure (and certainly society has initiated many campaigns to persuade us to believe that love is folly and fleeting) innately we know that we were created to love and be loved, even if we’re unlikely to agree with the concept in the moment.

Work for Free

I work with leaders who lead with love. They are bold about it and their cultures radiate it within their organizations and to the communities they serve. Even though these workers are being well compensated, they are not motivated by the money at all. In fact, they have said – and I believe them – that they would work for free because they love their work.

To them, love is all there really is.

Now, that got the attention of leadership. Think about it, to have a team that was so in love with you, your business or organization (and each other) that they would work for free to support your vision.

Of course, leading with love and creating a culture of loving lovers is a daunting task if you are not truly a lover yourself. For those I know who lead with love, they are supported by the most amazing love cultures, and it just comes naturally to them.

Their business culture is an extension of who they are. As they are evolving into more loving individuals the love bug infects their entire organization like a sacred virus.

I am confident that as more people awake to the enlightened sacred virus, they will expect and eventually seek love in their daily lives even more than monetary reward.

How can you better lead with love?

 

Launch the Love Rocket

Love can be seen as a super power if you decide to embrace it as such. Though it may be dormant, it lies within each and every one of us, but like any tool, weapon or skill, it takes practice to learn how to wield it masterfully.

For instance, we have many tools that we can use when we feel like we’ve been attacked, treated badly or disrespected by another person. We can counter-attack, ignore and ban them, launch hate campaigns or we can choose to love them.

What if a friend betrays you?

You have a variety of tools you can select to deal with the betrayal. Anything you do in response to the betrayal will have a similar effect on you. At the outset defending yourself vehemently may make you feel justified or better during the counter-attack but most likely will have aftershocks of remorse, guilt, shame or sadness that could lead to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) similarities. On the other hand, you could respond with love.

What would the love response look like?

When choosing the love response it’s important to note that you are in no way condoning the actions of the other person. In its highest form, love does not require either an apology or forgiveness on your part. Love only requires you to initiate and launch the love rocket.

launch-the-love-rocket-love-response-love-explosion

Launch Your Love Rocket

The love rocket soars high above the situation, explodes and showers its contents over everything. Try to see your situation from the aerial perspective of the love rocket, seeing you and your adversary as tiny dots on the landscape.

From this perspective you can see the person who betrayed you actually did you a favor by educating you as to his or her level of trustworthiness. As the love cascades down from the heavens, you can love yourself because you are good and you can also love the other person because he or she is equally as good as you. The more you look at this person from a perspective of loving yourself and him or her, you can’t help but wonder what the other person might be going through or what life experience has led them to the place where they felt they had to treat you like that?

Though you may see them now from an empathetic point of view, there is no cause for alarm, confrontation, explanation or intervention necessary. You simply accept that things are what they are as you allow this person the space they need to find their own way in the realization that we are all only doing the best we can with what we have.

You are an intelligent person, and now you know this particular person was not as trustworthy as you might have originally thought. You retain the education, are wiser for it and adjust your relationship accordingly.

While choosing to love might sound like self-martyrdom to someone who is more accustomed to fighting battles head-on in brutal combat, it is actually taking the high road that leads to peace and harmony.

It is not a sacrificial denial of self, if anything it’s just the opposite.

You love yourself enough to love others and protect yourself by reaching for your set of love tools to respond to any situation.

As you receive and retain the learning from others, you adjust your relationships accordingly.

What if I’m in an abusive relationship?

That doesn’t mean you need to love someone while they devastate you. It means you love them as you love yourself and leave them, putting the necessary distance between you so they cannot continue to do harm to you as you continue to love them from afar.

Peace

I’m old enough to remember the sixties, when young, rebellious Americans protested in the streets clamoring for peace and a better world. While they were able to voice their opinion for the most part, sometimes their making a stand against the machine turned to tears and fears when met with violence which turned to anger and more violence.

peace will only come when we realize that it cannot be achieved by violence

Peace will only come when we realize that it cannot be achieved by violence.

That was then, this is now. So much has changed. We the people wield so much power held in the palm of our hand that we can potentially expose evil cloaked in righteousness or send love to the world by tapping a button on our cell phone.

This power can be used for good or evil; even in the quest for peace.

How will you use your power(s) to promote peace?

It is exponentially more effective to lovingly and peacefully promote peace than it is to battle against those who would stand in the way of the peaceful world you envision for the future.

Yet there are those of us who are called to do battle as warriors, some who are steadfast lovers or saints and those of us who are warrior saints, a combination of both.

It is the belief held by the steadfast lovers and promoters of peace that by maintaining a loving and peaceful vibration will enable you to enjoy a peaceful life but also to live a better life and make the world a better place.

How?

By example.

When the peace-lovers exemplify the living of a peaceful life less complicated, more abundant, filled with contentment and higher degrees of happiness, this cannot go on without others taking notice.

I’m not talking about flower-child hippies. I’m referring to enlightened individuals and holistic businesspeople in all stations and walks of life awakening to their destinies and achieving their highest and best in the most love-fueled dignified fashion. These are the counter leaders, those who lead by example not by dominance. They approach life, challenges, obstacles and celebratory opportunities with tolerance and enthusiasm, while maintaining an even keel, both in the boardroom and in everyday life.

This awakening is taking place right now as you read these words and its spreading like a sacred virus.

There is a dichotomy that exists in the stark contrast between the people who use their energy to promote lower level vibrations, and those who use their energy to lovingly promote peace. You can instantly tell which who is who by looking at their social media profile.

Where is the love?

Although to utilize love as an energetic component, you must have some love to work with. In many cases, when I meet people, I take a look inside their heart – as if it were a canister meant to contain love – I open it and look inside. More often than not, I discover it is empty.

We are all born with all the love we could possibly use, yet as we travel our life’s journey, we tend to squander our love, and as an act of self-preservation discard it. Many of us would rather have no love at all than to risk loving and having it unrequited.

Healing, embracing love and learning to live life again are key components to the awakening.

A better world awaits

It is a highly regarded belief that when this new awakening and subsequent enlightenment reaches critical mass, this new peaceful and abundant planet will emerge, celebrating all life and a better world.

You are an important piece in the proliferation of peace today.

Thank you for taking the high road for peace.

Love Is What Is Love

Sometimes in life, your desires for love fall flat compared to your expectations.

There are four basic types of love, such as

4 types of love world friend family romanceOne World Love

There is an innate part of us that expects that all peoples can mutually respect, love each other unconditionally and live in harmony. We all want to love and be loved without division, no matter what. Yet, we are disappointed to find division prevails so predominantly that we are more often than not at odds with each other and peoples find themselves warring against each other.

Love Between Friends

You have grown up with someone or met someone with common interests and something in you reaches out to them connecting with them in an effort to appreciate them, feel an affinity, even love them for who they are, what they stand for and you feel compelled to protect the relationship between you. You hope that this friendship-type-of-love will last forever. It doesn’t take long to find out that people are often not who they appeared to be, as we project ourselves onto them in an effort to establish such a love, nonetheless, some deep friendship connections do withstand the test of time.

Love of Family

When a mother gives birth to a child there is a deep connection a love-bond that is possibly closer than any other bond between two people. This love connection can spread throughout a family with the possibility of establishing a love relationship amongst all family members. Some love among friends can grow to familial proportions. While some families are united in love, some family and friends are united by bonds fueled by other adhesives.

Even though we want to love our parents and want to be loved by them, often the love we desire is not the love we receive, so we are inclined to accept whatever love we can receive from parents and/or family members if we are able to receive any at all.

Romantic Love

Romantic love is the most potentially powerful love between two people. So powerful in fact that the participant (or participants) in this type of love are willing to risk with in the belief that the potential for living the highest quality of life is more meaningful and enjoyable when shared by two of the most intimate of partners. This love includes a deeply emotional and strong sexual attraction, the feelings that fuel this type of love often do not last long but the relationship can survive out of a sense of duty or necessity.

Why is it that most all the love we desire seems to elude us?

Try this:

exude the love you desire to receive regardless of the circumstances or lack of reciprocity

Exude the love you desire to receive regardless of the circumstance or lack of reciprocity.

If you feel separate or different from the other people in the world, send love to the world, love all other people, even if they do not appreciate or love you. Love your neighbors and friends likewise, even if they mistreat you. Love your family members as if they loved you more than anything, whether or not you feel there is any evidence of their affection or support for you.

The love you seek would be a combination of all these types of love and you may be surprised to discover you will not find it outside yourself until you’ve found this degree of love within. Only then can you expect to attract the kind of person who also has the same capacity of love.

So ask yourself, “What would it look like if I loved all the people of the world, my neighbors, friends, family, and potential mate completely?”

Love like it’s the only thing that matters…

because it is.

See you at the Soulmate Wizardry event.

 

Soul Mate Draw

I’m not much for playing poker or any card games for that matter, but it occurs to me that being in search of your soul mate can be likened unto playing a draw-poker-style game. The odds vary hand-to-hand and, at least in my experience, sometimes you bet everything you have on what you think is a hand that cannot lose, only to find someone else had a better hand. Unbelievable but true and you are left empty-handed and alone.

After a hand, like that, you’re likely not to even want to play again for a while. Time passes and you’re feeling a little more confident, then you think maybe it’s time to see what’s happening at the table of love again.

soulmate draw

You walk into the poker room, a little more cautious this time, survey your surroundings, watch some of the other games in progress, then select a table and request to be dealt into a round. You place your initial bet and before you know it, you’re feeling a little more comfortable being back in the game.

Some games have a significant buy in while others do not. Depending on the game and how much you’ve invested, you have more to lose but also more to win. We all hope to win, but sometimes (if not more often than not) we lose.

Such is the game. But the more you play it, hopefully, you get better at it.

You don’t fall for all those false tells of the other players. You have a better idea about what a good hand looks like.

In this game, the dealer is God – the universe, fate, the powers that be – and you’re not afraid to ask to draw another card if it doesn’t feel right.

I’ve played some good games in my life, and I was all in – and they were the best played games ever – but they’ve left me wanting more true love. I’m not expecting to beat the house, only to finally get that royal flush in hearts I’ve always longed for.

When I started playing the game of love, I expected only to play one game and I’d be good forever. I bought-in to a couple of huge tournaments since then. I’m not saying the games weren’t the best games ever – because they were – but I think I could do better.

Don’t get me wrong by assuming that because I’m relating my quest for a soulmate to a card game that I am a player, or that I’m playing the part of the victim who has been played by someone else. That’s not it.

I’m just looking for ways to relax, hold the space for the perfect hand of love, to be ready and willing to be all-in when my royal flush arrives.

So, here I am, at the table again. I am open, watching the other games in progress, the other players, trying to learn from both my and their mistakes and waiting for the perfect Ace of hearts to turn up.

I know, I’ve heard people say, waiting for the perfect hand is no way to play the game. Just have fun playing the game and play all the cards that you’re dealt.

Yeah, that’s not me; not my style.

Yes, I’ve been told that’s the problem with how I’ve played the game of love in the past: waited for one hand then bet it all and lost. But that’s their interpretation. I don’t think I’ve ever lost, because what I gained far surpassed everything I had to bet.

To the onlookers, other players (and sometimes in front of other live feed cam viewers) it looked like I lost it all; and I did. The pain of the loss was as real as it looked in that moment, but what I gained was far superior to anything I could have imagined, and the game itself was amazing.

Everyone has their way of playing the game. That doesn’t make it good or bad, right or wrong, it just is what it is. And if you’re cheating (believe me, in this game it’s impossible to cheat but you can go on believing you are), that’s okay too, because this house always wins.

Looking forward to playing the best game ever…

 

 

What is Love If True Love Dies?

In my opinion the sad truth of the deterioration of romantic love in our society is tragic.

Just as everything in the mainstream is moving toward making everything disposable diapers, water bottles, razors, pens, tissues, plates, shower curtains and home furnishings, likewise people and romantic relationships are also becoming more and more disposable.

I have witnessed this transition take place. I’ve seen the budding marriages forged in the fifties, fall victim to the wild abandon of the sixties. Then, in the seventies, the legal system welcomed no fault divorces ushering in the disposable marriage that has led to where we are today, bruised, broken and unable to find any love inside.

What is love if true love dies romantic love signs your marriage is over

I never asked the question, “What is love?” because as far back as I can remember, I had a keen inner sense or knowing what love meant to me, and even though I could have followed my peers in the sexual revolution, I maintained my composure and waited for “the one” I would marry following high school.

Innately, I always had an integrous approach to not only keep my word, but especially to do so if I made a vow of commitment in front of family and friends as witnesses. I pledged my love and commitment to not only a woman, but a family and the community. To me, this was heavy business, as love is a terrible thing to waste.

My deep respect for integrous love is one of the many things contributing to my personal freakiness. I don’t mind admitting it, and I proudly let my freak flag fly. I’d much rather make my own way, forge my own trail, research and discover new ideas, enjoy fulfillment, happiness and a quality of life that eludes the masses.

When I began my journey in the God business, I focused on love and relationships (no surprise, as this was my passion, even wrote a book about it) only to find the people who were attracted to counsel with me were not as interested in healing their relationship. Instead of asking, “How can we make our relationship better?” they were asking, “How do you know when your marriage is over?”

If you are in a potentially amazing romantic relationship, yet constantly on guard, continually looking for signs your marriage is over, chances are you will find what you are looking for. In fact, we know this to be true; you do find what you are looking for (and you always find it in the last place you look).

When someone comes in for relationship counsel asking, “Is my marriage over?” why we don’t just affirm, “Yes, you’ve already aligned yourself with the idea that love doesn’t exist, therefore it does not, and your marriage is over.” Cut your losses now, seek an attorney, get everything you can and be done with it as quickly and inexpensively as possible.

One of the main reasons I shifted my focus from relationships, was because my relationship ministry appeared to be more like torture. If someone is looking for an escape route, planning when to leave a marriage is appropriate. If he or she is thinking about how to end a marriage, then the best intentions of any counselor, therapist, coach or cleric has very little to work with. The best you can hope for is to delay the inevitable which usually leads to more damage, hurt feelings and increased legal battles. Where’s the love in that?

The only people who make out on that deal are the relationship counselors, divorce lawyers and the domestic division of our legal system that supports the whole relationship debacle. (Don’t get me started on the decline of that system…)

I knowingly share the realization of the truth of what is, and I say, “I still believe in true love.” I believe that true love is making its way back to us. I’m not saying that its not (note to editors: the double-negative was intentional) going to be a difficult journey, especially when I look around and survey all the broken people with little capacity for love at all within them (more about that, later…).

Our lack of respect for integrous love has left an indelible mark on our hearts, if it hasn’t stomped out any hope of romantic love for good, but there is a growing compulsion that is beginning to emerge as people realize that all this independence is not what it’s cracked up to be.

True love does exist, there is love waiting for you that is difficult for you to imagine in this moment, and you don’t have to worry about how to find true love, because it will find you. This life, in its highest form is all about love, and you will never be happier and fulfilled as when you change your perspective and begin to peer through the eyes of love.

Think about opening your heart to love… Not just romantic love (that may be too much to ask, from where you are at the moment), but dare to begin to look at anything, beginning with the smallest of things, then progress to other situations and circumstances, with love in your heart.

You will be surprised at how you attract even more love, the more your love light shines from within. It’s a process you can love…

See you at the Soulmate Wizardry event.

Dating Over 40

The times they are a changing, and the entire dating landscape is morphing into something unfamiliar, especially for those who find themselves looking for a prospective mate while dating after 40 years of age.

Single women over 40 are wondering how to find a good man in this new sea of seemingly unpredictable possibilities. Many of these women are stronger, they’ve been groomed to be more self-confident, expecting more from their mate, see themselves as equals, and often carry wounds that may subconsciously blocking good men over 40.

dating over 40 how to find a good man you attract what you are

What Is A Real Man?

If you’re in search of a “real man,” first you must define what that means to you. Consider making a soulmate list of the characteristics that you’re looking for.

Even so, as you are searching online and in the real world intent on finding a good man, you might ask

Where did all the good guys go?

Be aware that there is an abundance of good men all around you, but your mindset may be blocking access to them. Statements, like, “I’m looking for a real man,” “I need a strong man,” or, “Why can’t he just man up,” or, “be a man about it,” will have the good men that you are looking for swerving to avoid you. And if a good man hears you speak words, like that, it’s likely that his attention will be diverted elsewhere.

Men Are Changing Too

They are becoming more sensitive, intuitive. They don’t even have to hear the words you are saying, they can feel your vibration and may avoid you solely based on unjustified feeling. Men are increasingly seeking more meaningful relationships and getting in touch with the things in life that bring them the greatest joy and fulfillment (a huge departure from the work all day to support the family model of the 1950’s).

While they might have been willing to exchange putting up with drama in exchange for good sex, in their youth, men over 40 and above are more likely to avoid drama, just like women over 40. Tolerance and teamwork are more preferred traits in modern romance. Laying down the law, like, “My way or the highway,” will more than likely send love a-packing, as ultimatums are undesirable and may be intolerable.

Be Mindful of What You Say

If you believe in the law of attraction, or not, the overwhelming statistics would indicate that what you speak is what you attract. Therefore, if you tend to voice the idea that, “all the good ones are married,” “there are no good men left,” or “all the hot men are gay,” (I find it interesting that women think all the hot men are gay, just as much as men think all the hot women are lesbians and gay men think all the hot men are straight.) the words you use will create your experience.

Inner Work

Single women over 40 need to take a look at what’s going on inside because in most cases not only do you attract what you say, possibly more importantly, you attract what you are. Ask yourself, “What kind of guys do I attract?” Then review the attributes of the men over 40 that you’ve been attracting. Are you able to objectively see any similarities between the men that you attract and any possible inner work that might be lingering deep inside? This might be worth taking a look at.

It Is What It Is

Realize that dating over 40 is different than any type of dating prior to the age of 40. Men and women are likely bruised, damaged or somewhat numb to the idea of entering a long term relationship or making a lifelong commitment due to past experiences.

If they’re anything like me, I am less likely to pair up with someone who I do not believe will be the best thing that could happen in my life. This does not mean she will be perfect, but she will be perfect (with all her imperfections) for me and likewise I will be for her.

In the meantime, if you meet someone who is extremely particular, happy with his (or her) life and is not jumping at the chance to fawn (or fondle) over you, just because you’ve expressed an interest

Don’t Be Offended

Don’t take it personal if your volunteering for love and romance is not embraced by a prospective suitor, be grateful that he (or the powers that be) have diverted a potential relationship that may not have been your highest and best. There are plenty of good men out there, but that doesn’t mean you have to settle for any one of them. You have the time and space to be the love that you seek, and he will find you.

Relax

Take it slow. Realize that the process of becoming the love that you desire and attracting the perfect person for you may take some time. If you’re over 40, there may be many extenuating circumstances that are delaying his (or her) appearance, like a marriage, deteriorating health of a current mate, or any other number of details indicating that this may not be the right time for the both of you to be together.

If you are ready, and patient, the love you seek will appear at the right time.

Be Happy

In the meantime, fill your life with love and things that you enjoy. This will increases your quality of life and help keep you in a receptive state of mind that works like a love magnet.