Tag: romantic love

Romantic or Unconditional Love

Two people meet, fall in love, pledge their vows of love to each other, and live happily ever after. This is the romantic aspirations of most people who seek romantic love in the world today.

There are many forms of love which are active in our society. Love is used on a wide spectrum including many possibilities and representation. On one end of the spectrum you can love chocolate cake, and on the other, a desperate heartbroken young child can find solace in his or her mother’s embrace accompanied by the speaking of the words, “I love you.”

All love is good love and the more there is of it in our world, the better the world can be. For a moment consider there might be a difference between romantic love and unconditional love.

There is nothing better than entering a relationship in love with the expectation that it would last forever. There is an instinctual part of you that wants to go through life with someone by your side. Having to decide who that might be only once, sounds like a dream come true.

When you are attracted to someone or something, this is an expression of your flesh, creating a desire for it whether it be a particular type and color of a car or a prospective mate. Certain hormones create a chemical reaction in our brain which makes us love one thing over another.

The love chemical reaction fades over time and so do the feelings of love. That’s why your admiration of that new car is often replaced by resigning yourself to drive the darned thing, while you long for another car that is more appealing; one that causes your love chemistry to kick in. And so it is with romantic love.

Romantic love projects expectations on your partner. If they look and act in a way that is in line with your expectations of him or her, your love is sustained. If not, you are disappointed and may respond negatively, potentially giving way to disapproval or anger.

Unfortunately, romantic love is based on this expectation and the challenges you face with being shocked by the stark realization that the object of your affection has failed or is unable to meet your expectations.

Instead of fostering togetherness, as in the two of you becoming one, romantic love separates each of you into a my-way vs your-way opposition fostering a push-pull power struggle which can never be won.

Romantic love will have you endlessly attempting to make your partner fit your perception of how he or she should be based on your expectations, with little consideration for who your partner really is in his or her own natural state, or respect of individual potentialities which are yet to be realized.

Romantic love is perpetually fueled by fear of loss, which keeps you looking for clues of potential loss, and as a self-fulfilling prophesy, that which you seek appears, either by using your overactive imagination, or real-life circumstances, which you may have called into being by your fear.

Fear leads to disrespect, suspicion, loathing, and even hatred, when you are jolted into the reality that your love cannot be sustained by whom or what you believed could be trusted to fulfill your expectations of love. This dichotomy creates a violent cognitive dissonance which rocks your world and wreaks havoc on your emotional wellbeing.

Unconditional love, on the other hand, is quite the contrast to romantic love, in that there is no my-way vs your-way opposition keeping you separated. There is no right way, there is no wrong way. There is just you and your partner in love inclusive or all respective possibilities.

This is only possible by allowing true love to flow from the source of all life which does not impose expectations. This true love loves purely, without expectation. It does not look for flaws, nor does it seek to punish. Unconditional love loves regardless; no matter what you do or what you say.

Unconditional love can only be expressed if your heart is full of love for yourself, and to the degree to which you possess this kind of love for yourself, it can overflow into the life of your beloved.

Of course, in unconditional love, there will be differences which appear, but these are allowed to be expressed in love, and you may talk openly about whatever comes up in the contrast of your love experience with openness and honesty, allowing growth or allowing what is to simply be as you move forward.

You were created by this unconditional love source and the potential for it resides in every cell of your body. You can let loose this unconditional love and let it permeate you and the world which surrounds you at any time, if you can allow yourself to consider the possibilities.

Unconditional love is the most powerful force which can be wielded by any man, woman, or child and is more powerful than anything else. It exists in all life, everything, and without it, nothing would be.

God blesses all love unconditionally, from the romantic love looking to be negotiated and contractualized between two, and the unconditional love. Love is love, and everything is love.

God bless you on your journey in love.

See you at the Soulmate Wizardry event.

Love Talk

When you’re contemplating getting into a romantic relationship, you might consider having the Love Talk with your prospective mate, and if you’re already in a relationship and you haven’t had the Love Talk, yet, do it tonight.

Tonight is the perfect night to go out to dinner and have the Love Talk.

What should you include in the Love Talk?

Here are some ideas to include in your Love Talk tonight:

Where are we going?

Ask your prospective partner what he or she thinks this relationship is leading to? It may be awkward, but you should get your expectations about this relationship out on the table, and you want to know what your partner’s intentions are. If you can the two of you are going to be together, ask your partner, “Where do you see us in five years?” Then ask yourself as well.

What about the Benjamins?

Money is the number one reason relationships break down and fall apart. Talking about money issues at the outset of a relationship can help to avoid the pitfalls and incongruency about finances in the future. Know which money type you are and get to know about your partner’s relationships with the greenbacks. Don’t be shy about asking about bankruptcy, outstanding student loans, and other financial obligations.

Want to have sex?

You want to establish the parameters of your sexual relationship as soon as possible. If you are intending to be in a monogamous relationship you need to be open about this with your partner, and you both need to agree that your relationship is exclusive and includes monogamy. Otherwise, if no clear definition is agreed to, there is no injustice of infidelity if one of you engages in the sex act with someone else. Also talk about other things regarding sex, including expected frequency and fantasies (you don’t want to be surprised when your partner brings someone over to have a threesome). You want to be a match in the bedroom.

How are we going to communicate?

Communication, or the lack of it, is another leading cause of the deterioration of an otherwise healthy romantic relationship. Talking about how you might handle challenging or difficult conversations in the future can put you miles ahead of others who struggle to talk about things when the going gets rough. Create a safe process in advance. Make a plan that you can refer to in the event (when) the need arises to have an important but uncomfortable conversation.

What was life like growing up?

Talk about it now with your partner over dinner, or later in the therapist’s office at a high hourly cost, and possibly at the cost of your relationship, as the way we were brought up, our experiences with friends, relatives, and previous lovers, all have an impact on how we love someone else in our closest of relationships. Be open, compassionate, non-judgmental, and aware. This information can be invaluable in helping this relationship move forward in a positive energetic flow, or give you clues to seeing trouble ahead so that you can be prepared to handle things better if, and when, they come up.

Do you want to get married?

Knowing whether either one or both of you have a desire to marry someday can be important information to have early on in any relationship. Any way the balancing act goes, whether one does, and one doesn’t, both of you don’t want to marry, or both of you want to marry, just the establishment and knowingness of how it is can be extremely helpful. Even if it’s too early to know if you or your current partner are the participants in any given scenario, whether it includes matrimony or not.

See you at the Soulmate Wizardry event.

7 Phases of Love

Romantic relationships can the most exhilarating experiences of your life, they can also be very dramatic. If you can make it through the 7 phases of love, you can have the breakthrough bliss of the expanded and evolved couple and share your love with the world.

Phase 1: Falling in Love

The first phase is what gets us into relationships in the first place. It’s that exciting time when this person makes your heart soar and you’re higher than a kite (actually you are because you’re overdosing on love hormones, like dopamine and oxytocin.

In your honeymoon daze, you see all your wants, needs, and desires fulfilled by this person, and you project your dreams upon your love interest, therefore he or she appears to be your dream come true.

Phase 2: Coupling

Following some time of falling in love with someone, the two of you agree that you are somehow meant to be with each other and you go about the business of building a relationship together.

In the coupling phase, you’re getting to know each other better and beginning to see what life would be like as a couple. You begin building real appreciation and a sense of secure bonding is taking place as your relationship moves beyond surface issues and begins to deepen.

Phase 3: Sober Up

One day you wake up and ask yourself, “Who is this?” man or woman whom I’ve aligned myself with? The love hormones are wearing thin, and you’re starting to see him or her as he or she really is, and you think this isn’t the person you fell in love with.

You’ve been together long enough to feel comfortable enough to speak your piece about how your partner is not what you thought he or she was, and your partner returns in kind, as the green grass on the other side of the fence seems so very attractive.

Phase three is the place where most relationships break down, as either one or both parties feel like living life, like this, would be unbearable, though some push-through to the next phase.

Phase 4: Deepening

In phase four, one or both parties feel as though the relationship is worth pursuing, instead of posturing for control or splitting up, they seek to find healthier, more mature ways to look at life shared by two individuals, working thorough problems and disagreements while finding effective solutions without compromising their connection.

This is the make it or break it phase as the partners are more transparent and open with each other, moving forward with increased vulnerability, so things can get a bit messy, but by supporting each other with openness and honesty, sharing and caring, real growth and maturity of each individual can be immense, and the surviving couple thrives as they grow and change both as individuals and as a unified force.

Phase 5: Genuine Bonding

This is when the age-old charge, “the two shall become one,” feels like real romantic love fulfilled. When you’ve reached phase five, your phase one expectations seem silly in comparison, because now you see your unique combination as an expanded entity, an extension of both you and your partner’s lives, with endless opportunities.

If you’ve been resistant to the idea of marriage before, once you’ve reached phase five, you start entertaining the thought of getting married, embracing the idea that you could, and would prefer to, live the rest of your life in a relationship, like this.

Phase 6: Comfort

Phase six is where it gets tricky because you’re comfortable. You’ve made it through phases one through five and living your life with this other person is good, pleasant, and good enough, but left on idle for awhile this comfort can lead to complacency.

Some time has passed and it looks as though you’ve fallen into an endless recurring routine and the relationship has lost its sheen. This is yet another phase where one of the parties might be looking for the exit sign leading to a little more excitement.

Not to worry, all advanced couples reach this stage (it is commonly referred to as the seven-year-itch, though it could come at any time) and you could also seek to rekindle the flame of true love and find yourself headed for the final phase of romantic love.

Phase 7: True and Enduring Love

You have weathered the storms of life in love together and hand-in-hand you have persevered, broken through barriers, shared epiphanies, expanded and ever-evolving as individuals and as a unified force in and for love.

You have established a meaningful relationship in perfect push/pull harmony which is a delicate balance to maintain but it is so worth it. You welcome the challenges, and when things get tough, you are more apt to lean in and trust your partner, who has been there for you as your love has withstood the test of time.

Openness, honesty, and trust are reciprocal and there is no greater sense of safety and security, and others look on with awe.

From this phase of love, the two of you combined can impact the world for the greater good, as your love inspires others, giving them hope as they aspire to build true and enduring love relationships.

The two of you are separately and “as one flesh” living your best life and making the world a better place.

See you at the Soulmate Wizardry event.

How Do You Know You Love Someone?

Who’s your best friend? If it’s your partner, you’re in love.

How do you know you love someone?

You feel ecstatic as if you took a hit of drugs because, in essence, you have. When you’re in love the same hormones are released just as when you get high on cocaine.

Being in love boosts your immune system making your more resistant to disease and is a natural pain reliever. Less pain and faster recovery from aches and pains. That’s the healing power of love at work.

Increased eye contact indicates you’re in love. It’s as if you’re looking at your partner’s soul and connecting with it, as well as seeing your own reflection in his or her eyes.

Being in love makes you more self-confident, willing to take risks, and try new things with and for your partner, or for the growth and benefit of your relationship together.

When your partner is happy, you are just as happy for your partner. His or her happiness makes you feel happy.

True love can also introduce a degree of stress due to your desire to be the best you can be and to find ways to demonstrate expressions of your love, dependability, trustworthiness, and support, which increases cortisol levels. You’re going to feel a little more anxious and stressful about “doing the right thing” and “being there” for your partner.

When you’re in love, you’re likely to do just about anything for your partner.

You look forward to your shared time together as the best part of your day.

What’s the first thing you think about in the morning? If this happens at night, and whenever something good happens, your partner is the first person you want to tell, and when something bad happens, this is also the person you look to for help, you can thank your brain for releasing phenylethylamine because you’re in love.

If you’re in the habit of putting the needs and priorities of your partner before your own, you’re in love.

When you think about your plans for the future, you see your partner’s participation of predominant importance. You just expect him or her to be there.

Public displays of affection (PDA) are predominant. You’re not afraid to let you love be seen by others.

Your partner’s shortcomings are adorable. Their quirkiness which might seem odd when you’re getting to know someone are those special qualities that endear you, even more, when you’re in love.

Your partner inspires you to be the best version of yourself. You’re interested in personal growth and want to make a contribution in honor of how your partner makes you feel about putting your best foot forward. You want to be and do better.

True love is unconditional. That means you feel like, “I love you no matter what.” No matter what your partner does, whatever challenges you or your partner might face, you love your partner even more. Your love does not waver and is not affected by situations or circumstances.

See you at the Soulmate Wizardry event.

Complexity in Romance

As you’re growing, changing, expanding, and evolving you may notice complexity in romance as your romantic relationships begin to don a new look and feel. As you are becoming more empowered and are filling your desire for love from within, your attention shifts because you no longer are as needy as you were before. You no longer seek love from outside yourself. Instead, you let your limitless love which wells up within you to overflow to others, which leads to complexity in romance due to your spiritual growth.

When you are looking for your soul mate or romantic interest, often you are in search of characteristics which would compliment your own, and – more importantly – you are likely to be looking for support for areas in your life which are lacking.

As you grow and change, you become more confident as the things which may have made you feel as though you needed support from someone else begin to resolve themselves. The areas of your life where you felt inadequacies are no longer threatening to you as your personal growth affects all areas of your life including emotional, physical, spiritual and financial.

If you were lacking in some of these key areas of life when you were looking for a suitable mate, it is likely you sought someone who could assist you in these areas. As you evolve into the higher version of yourself, you no longer seek fulfillment of these areas of life from your partner.

Does that mean love fades?

No. The love that you share with your partner could exponentially grow uninhibited by your need to seek fulfillment in him or her if you are headed in the same direction. On the other hand, it could lead to complexity in romance, as one of you grows and expands, the other one might not, or you could begin to grow in completely different ways, leading lives on diverging paths.

Romantic relationships are a key component in the process of growth. For instance, things are rarely conflict-free in a relationship between two people. When the opportunity for conflict presents itself, it is often an indicator of some inner work that needs to be addressed within yourself, even though it may feel as though your partner is wrong, or attacking you.

Once you start addressing romantic complexities in this way your growth and evolution accelerates as you are constantly finding your heart, body, mind, and soul in a perpetual state of metamorphosis. Instead of looking at ways to mitigate the damages, you are healing those overwhelming and/or delicately intimate areas of your life.

In this way, romantic partners provide us with a mirror which reflects to our consciousness those areas which need to be addressed further expanding your continued growth and evolution. There could come a time when your continued growth may not be impacted by this person anymore. If you are still in need of further inner growth, you may attract someone else in your life to work out your other life issues.

Ever notice how you (or someone else) might be attracting the same kind of person into your life over and over again? This is a clear indication that you have unresolved issues that you have not processed internally, yet. Until you have done so, you will always attract the type of person who will present these issues to you as if they were on a silver platter.

“It’s not me. It’s them!”

Sure, it looks like they’re at fault, but this is a bold indication that there is work in you centered around this area of life that needs to be addressed and dealt with until you can move to a higher vibrtational relationship.

Once this relationship has served its purpose, the romantic interest will fade, leaving you feeling more like pleasant roommates or brother and sister. If anger and resentment persists, this chapter has not reached its conclusion. Separation may be bitter and painful, and (sorry to say) more of the same is already on its way.

When you have healed and evolved to a certain degree of healthy advancement, only them can you truly exercise your free will when attracting and selecting a mate, otherwise, your seeking will be powered by lack and need for growth.

At some point you will begin to understand that relationships don’t happen to you, they are manifested from that deepest part of you which seeks to encourage your personal growth and expansion. You are never a victim, always the student.

You will never again cry out the question,

“Why is this happening to me?”

Because you will know you attracted this complexity in romance for your greatest good. When you find the lesson, apply the understanding, heal and grow through to the next level, you are genuinely grateful for the experience and are able to continue, no longer having to suffer the angst of that issue forthwith.

You are Healing Love

There is no one to blame for feeling as though you are in conflict, disrespected, or abused when complexity in romance arises. Once you understand the truth, you welcome these feelings as indicators of areas of life which need to be addressed before you can move on, and it’s all on you. You are the healing lover.

It’s then that you realize that everything is connected. Everything happens at the right time and everything is perfectly perfect. Now, you can sit back, relax, love and enjoy the show.

Want to learn more? Consider attending an Awakening to True Love Workshop.

How Do You Know When You’re in Love?

You’ve been seeing this person for a while and things are going well. So well, in fact, that you start to ask yourself, “Am I in love?” If you start asking the question, there’s a good chance you may be falling in love and you start looking for signs you’re in love, but how do you know when you’re in love?

Signs You’re In Love

You think more about them than you think about yourself

If you find yourself going through the day thinking or day dreaming about them and find you are projecting them into your routine when they’re not around, then you might be falling in love. When you love someone, when you’re shopping, you might wonder what he/she might link about what you’re thinking about buying. Little things, like driving by a billboard will make you wonder what he/she might think about that, or passing a cineplex and you find yourself wondering which movie he/she might enjoy seeing with you. If you are finding yourself thinking about them in these little ways (without obsessing), there’s a good chance you are in love.

You’re love lab’s chemistry kicks in

There is no doubt that love is a science project on crack. If you’re in it, the mad scientist inside you is pumping all kinds of chemicals racing through your heart, mind and body, such as dopamine, oxytocin, and vasopresson, creating the same sense of euphoria as taking a hit of cocaine. You really are high on love. You find yourself feeling happier and more confident when you are thinking about this person and find yourself feeling even better when you’re anticipating being in their presence as your chemical sense of attachment increases.

You put up with them, gladly

He or she may not be perfect, but you love them just the same. This is a healthy balance, being able to see their quirks and find them somewhat endearing, instead of putting them down for their flaws. You don’t think they’re perfect, only that he or she is just perfect for you, with all his/her shortcomings. If certain characteristics are less desirable than others, you are able to point them out to each other in a healthy way and help each other refine yourselves as you desire to grow and become better versions of yourself. And those things that make you smile or laugh at yourselves (because they’re so cute) as both of you stumble or find yourselves in awkward situations that could have been handled better, this is more positive than ridiculing or judging your partner and demanding change.

You are growing and changing

When people fall in love, they don’t just adopt the other person’s likes/dislikes. Instead, they each desire to become better versions of themselves as they begin to look at life with the support of their loved one and you begin to change. Your daily routine(s) and habits change noticeably. You find yourself more aware of how you spend your time, and you are finding better ways to maximize the precious moments you have available and are motivated to work on your own shortcomings and developing your individual characteristics. You are more comfortable with life, and are likely to find yourself finding ways to contribute to your community and make the world a better place.

You are more apt to compromise

Not only are you considering the thought of compromise, taking the thoughts and ideals of your loved one into consideration, but you’re not self-sacrificing or falling into martyrdom as you seek to negotiate to arrive at win-win solutions, so that you both get satisfaction from the resulting agreement. Being iin love with someone means you can actually feel good about the process of compromise and arriving at a mutually beneficial conclusion and being fair in your negotiations. One person should never be making all the concessions.

You enjoy celebrating his/her wins

When your lover gets recognized for doing good, or achieves a significant goal, they are excited. You find yourself celebrating equally (or possibly even more) when they accomplish something that even you may not have been able to do so well. This is in contrast to when you see someone else honored or rewarded, which makes you feel competitive or question their worthiness. You have a sense of pride in their success and are proud of their wins, having the same feeling(s) that you might have for your own offspring. It’s as if both of you are sharing the same accolades together.

You share mutual respect

When you’re in love, you love and respect each other, which is definitely a higher calling than just enjoying someone’s company. You are outgrowing the friend zone and are interested in seeing how far this relationship can go. When you have high regard for who they are as a person, you really like them and they are clearly feeling the same way, then you know you’re falling in love.

You miss him/her when he/she is not around

If you are feeling a bit less independent, desiring to spend more time with your lover, missing them while they are away, without going off the deep-end, you might be developing a bond with this particular person. How much you long to be with someone when they are not around might be a way to measure your love for this person as you are developing a committed relationship.

You want your people to like him/her

You are concerned about how your family and friends feel about your lover. You want them to accept him/her because you want all your highly regarded important people in your life to be happy with this person, welcoming him/her to play a more integrative role in your social circle(s). If you find yourself presenting your partner in a good light to your peers and defending their integrity, you are climbing the scale of love and developing a healthy attachment that may stand the test of time.

You might feel the occasional twinge of jealousy

As your relationship with this person becomes more desirable, your particular sensitivities towards them and their continued safety and well-being will make you more inclined to entertain a bit of jealousy based on your interdependence and trust. You are not inclined to mistrust them or be suspicious of their covert activity, more so you have a concern for their well being in a world that is unpredictable because you would hate to see them suffer any inordinate challenges, or be involved in an accident. Unhealthy jealousy, based on low self esteem and insecurities marked with suspicious activities such as checking their cell phone or browser history is not considered as love so much as it is obsession. If its love, you will maintain a healthy concern based on your trust, mutual respect and love for him or her, not entertaining the green-eyed monster because they might be sneaking around or someone might steal them away.

See you at the Soulmate Wizardry event.

Why Is Love So Hard?

You’ve been there. You’ve fallen in love with someone, given your heart, mind, body and soul to someone and expected the same in return. More often than not, loving someone and expecting them to love you in return invites a world of trouble and what appear to be insurmountable obstacles. It can leave you asking, “Why is love so hard?”

First of all, keep in mind that we’re talking about two different people. There are three different thoughts about how relationships are formed, based on

Opposites Attract
People are attracted to Carbon Copies
Attraction is Chaos

When opposites attract, of course, trying to work it all out will be problematic. In fact, this is the entire concept of attracting your Twin Flame. The idea of the twin flame insists your partner is the polar opposite of you, the other half of you, destined to create a higher version of yourself when the two of you are united if you can survive the hell and high water to achieve exponential personal growth.

When people are attracted to carbon copies, they are (often unconsciously) looking for someone who is familiar, either like someone who was a powerful influence (positive or negative) in their earlier life, or someone who is like themselves in compatibility (or “chemistry”).

Then there is the thought that attraction is chaos and random. In this scenario, there is a degree of animal magnetism, followed by the assumption that no one is every truly satisfied in romantic relationships. These relationships are destined for trouble but if the couple is willing to work hard at it, they can maintain a long term relationship.
Some of the things that can make trying to maintain a relationship so hard include

What Is Love?

In my work with couples, it is common for individuals in a relationship not to have the same definition of what love is. How can a couple be “in love” when they don’t share the same idea of love’s definition?

Our society has warped the sense of love’s definition by offering romantic ideals based on fairy tale knights in shining armor and Disney Cinderellas to films depicting love at first sight and other magic of falling in love concepts.

Of course, there are more substantial concepts of love which include love as being based on integrity and commitment which means you stay with your partner whether you like it or not because you made a promise or signed a contract. On the other end of the spectrum are people who approach the idea of love as being an opportunity for personal and/or spiritual growth.

Understanding each other’s definition of love, coming to a shared definition and understanding how each person feels as though they are being loved are two of the best tools to have an idea of early on in the relationship or when looking for ways to offer help in a troubled relationship.

You Are Afraid

Fear is the reason for failure not only in relationships, but other areas of life as well. Fear is the most destructive force in our world and it hides deep inside you, and it serves only two purposes: To Protect You from Pain or Death – or – To Destroy Any Hope of Having a Good Life. In relationships participants are afraid of committing to another person, afraid that if they leave themselves open they will experience pain and/or loss of self. There is the fear that your mate may not be “the one” (what if someone better comes along?). There is the fear that love will fade, the initial attraction dissolves or each of the partners fall into stereotypical roles in the relationship. What if your partner devolves into an abuser or suffers health challenges that would scare anyone who might be left the eternal caretaker?

Atop the heap of fear of the endless unknown or expected possible negative outcomes is the fear promoted by witnessing the failed relationships all around you. Trust is the hardest thing to establish in a world where you are surrounded by unrequited love, infidelity, dishonesty, lies, physical or mental abuse, secret-keeping, addictions, embezzlement, con games, and a degree of evil lurking in the shadows seeking to break or destroy you. You have seen many relationships fail as most of them do, or witnessed the sacrificial martyrdom of one of the participants in a relationship to “make it work” and you don’t want that to happen to you. It’s no wonder you’re frightened about falling in love.

There Is No Such Thing as Love

Then there is the idea that there is no such thing as love, where people believe that love is nothing more than an ideal, thought process of tool used to get what you want in life. Let’s face it; society has trained us to believe love is a superficial means to an end. In this materialistic scenario there is no real connection between two people, instead one or both parties are shallow participants only focused on what they can get out of the relationship. When they fail to get what they want, or feel like they see a better deal on the horizon, they’re gone.

Don’t Want to Deal With It

No one wants a great deal of drama in their life, and if you’re in a close relationship with someone else (even if it’s not a romantic relationship) it can become problematic.
For the people who will avoid conflict or confrontation at all costs, it’s easier just to bail out altogether. There is no sense of fighting for love, what is right or the greater good. Instead of thinking, “I’d rather fight than quit,” these folks are more likely to think it’s time to, “Cut my losses,” and walk away because it’s easier than dealing with the drama or facing their own inner issues (especially, if they think there is a potentially better relationship waiting in the wings).

The Broken Hearted

It is harder for one who has loved and lost due to having their heart severely broken or crushed than one who has not endured this type of pain. The broken hearted people have a great deal to work through before they can be truly ready to re-enter a love relationship, but they often seek to quickly replace the love that was lost by seeking out a new relationship, like a love band aid, to treat the wound, but this is only superficial treatment and will likely lead to the failure of the subsequent relationship. Others, out of fear, will avoid putting themselves at risk, ever again. So, the broken-hearted must heal their broken heart to have any hope of an effective love relationship.

The Uncompromising List

After a few go-rounds in the relationship department, you tend to accumulate a list of what you don’t want to see in future relationships based on your negative love observations and experiences. Unfortunately, if you focus on the negatives of past relationships, you are likely to attract more negatives in future relationships; it’s how the law of attraction works.

No matter how complete and comprehensive you list is, it can be difficult (if not impossible) to find anyone who can measure up to your standards.

Not that this is completely a bad idea. Instead of focusing on negatives, focus on the positives and make a list of only these qualities, like my soul mate list. You will be surprised at what may appear on love’s horizon.

Don’t See Eye to Eye

In this day and age, there is a preponderance of posturing for separation. Society promotes the polarization among people and also in relationships, which makes us all somewhat narcissistic as we care less and less about others and more and more about ourselves.

Even though you are separate people, you need to look for opportunities to find the common ground, which you can share together in the long run, while allowing each of you to maintain your independence, a sort of interdependence instead of codependency.

In a relationship between two people, there is so much to manage, prioritize and compromise to affect a successful and long lasting romantic relationship. It takes work, investment of resources (time, emotion and financial) and a commitment to work it out rather than bailing out.

Is Love Worth It?

This is a question you have to ask and answer for yourself.

I will always be ever the romantic, believing that love is the most powerful force in the universe and can conquer anything. Love is the highest and best vibration in the world.

Is love easy? No. Is life easy? No. If it was, where would be the excitement in that?

It’s better to work on your relationship in love, rather than not to have a love relationship to work on at all. It will take work, I believe it’s worth it.

If you believe, and are looking for a way to break through to the other side of your most amazing love adventure ever, call me.

See you at the Soulmate Wizardry event.

Awakening to True Love Workshop at Your Location


The Awakening to True Love Workshop presented by David Masters is a huge hit throughout the Pacific Northwest.

Host an Awakening to True Love Workshop in your location… If you dare. This is not your romantic fairy tale seminar, this puts you in the driver’s seat of your love life. Ask us how you can host an Awakening to True Love Workshop in your town.

Who Should Attend?

Singles in search of true love and/or their soulmate
Individuals who want to increase the quality of all their relationships
Couples with the desire to invite true love into their relationship
Anyone who wants to set their relationship on fire

Rather than rekindle a disintegrating romance these tools, tips and techniques will totally dismantle all your previous misconceptions about love and empower you to embrace a whole new paradigm of true love, if you dare.

Meet Your Event Hosts

David M. Masters

Coach, consultant and author of 7 Phases of Love: Understanding and Navigating Love and Romance in the Digital Age, David M. Masters, presents the distinct contrast between the lackluster love we’ve been programmed by society to accept and the higher calling of unconditional love which can transform all your relationships including romantic and otherwise in the Awakening to True Love Workshop.

Minister, educator, entrepreneur, public speaker, and business consultant, David M Masters has helped many people improve their lives financially, physically, personally, spiritually and professionally. Following the loss of a son in Afghanistan, and subsequently, his family, Masters took a sabbatical to reconnect with his Higher Source as he continues to live out his life’s purpose, sharing his message and helping others to achieve their highest and best and make the world a better place.

Masters’ Awakening to True Love Workshop will rock your romantic world and set all your relationships ablaze with new found freedom and authenticity.

The price for this 1-day seminar is $495. Coming to a location near you.

Missed an event, or waited until all the seats were sold out?

Drop me an email to receive an advance notification for the next workshop in your area.

Here’s more on the Awakening to True Love Workshop…

Ever wonder why your relationships just don’t work out right?

In the beginning, you feel as though you’ve met your one true love and it’s not long before this magnificent love dream come true devolves into your worst nightmare.

Top 10 Reasons Relationships Fail

Desperate to save your precious dream, you explore all the challenges that caused your relationship to be compromised or fail. Therapeutic intervention dissects your relationship and all its flaws such as

  1. basic compatibility
  2. communication styles
  3. disinterest
  4. abuse
  5. lack of trust
  6. betrayal
  7. unmet expectations
  8. unfulfilled obligations
  9. money issues
  10. infidelity

These top 10 reasons that relationships fail are not why relationships fail, nor are any of the other so-called reasons; they are only treated as symptoms, while the underlying toxic disease continues to spread – not only in your relationship – but most relationships in the world.

The real reason why relationships fail is due to the spread of this dangerous disease which spreads like a viral wildfire. This toxin, left to itself will destroy and break down every love relationship we’re involved in, not just out romantic relationships. This viral disease leads to the failure and destruction of all kinds of relationships, including a significant other, family, mom, dad, brother, sister, children, coworkers, bosses and platonic friends.

All our relationships are at risk of being infected by this deadly disease, which is the real root cause of the death of any relationship.

The Truth: Why Relationships Fail

You might be surprised to discover there is only one reason that relationships fail. If you’re fervently seeking to find true love, you will never find it if you are infected with the toxic disease.

Wonder what the toxin is that will thwart any relationship you have and cause it to fall to pieces, no matter how you try to save it?

The name of the disease is

LOVE

Yes, “love;” the definition of it, the concept of it and everything you believe about it, love is the disease.

What if

Everything You Know About Love is Wrong?

You’ve been infected with the toxin which has spread more and more with every interaction you’ve had with other relationships as far back as you can remember (and before).

Your parents, society, the media and Disney have planted and spread the disease so pervasively that you couldn’t recognize true love if you saw it.

 

 

Join us for the

Awakening to True Love Workshop

Where in this all day event, you will learn what love really is, how to have it, get it and keep it without fear.

Awakening to True Love Workshop
An All-day Event Coming to You
$495.00

Drawing from ancient Toltec wisdom, don Miguel Ruiz’s work, The Mastery of Love, other texts and new thought, St. Paul’s Free University’s David M. Masters, in cooperation with your hosts are bringing this 1 day love, romance and relationship seminar which will change the way you love and look at all your relationships.

Following this event, you can choose whether to practice

TOXIC LOVE

OR

TRUE LOVE

Eliminate the poison that spreads the highly contagious disease of toxic love that promotes possessiveness, jealousy, envy, suspicion, bitterness, dishonesty, controlling, abuse, judging others and yourself.

Instead, you will learn to love unconditionally and have true love in your intimate relationships amidst a society dominated by the disease of love.

You will find the source of the power of true love emanates from within your heart and does not come from outside yourself. Thinking that love comes from anywhere else is the lie that germinates the disease of toxic love’s seeds.

In this 1-day event, you will

  • Learn to forgive and love yourself as you learn about and eradicate the poisonous disease of toxic love.
  • Discover your inner strengths and realize the opinion of others, criticisms or expectations have no effect on or power over you.
  • Eliminate the risk of betrayal as true love’s trust cannot be broken.
  • Get to know you, who you are and who you were in your youth prior to the installation of this toxic, deceitful and manipulative viral software.
  • Get in touch with your inner beauty and purity as you share your true love for another with your newfound peace and serenity from within.

Your true love accepts others just the way they are; without criticism, opinions, or judgment.

Awakening to true love in self-awareness, self-love and self-forgiveness empower you to accept yourself, love your reflection in the mirror, loving in your relationships whether they be with your spouse, friends or relatives but most of all learning to love yourself regardless of what anybody else thinks or says.

 

Learn how to love yourself and by extension everyone and everything else that is out there in our universe.

Awakening to True Love Workshop

Advanced ticket sales only. Reserve your spot today. Seating for this event is limited

* All ticket sales are final. No refunds or exchange.

 

Love Lies Why Lovers Lie

Why Do Lovers Lie?

When you enter into a committed relationship, an evolution takes place. As time goes on couples experience a metamorphosis as each of the participants grows and changes interdependently. Though they may be “one flesh” in the utmost romantic sense, they are still separate individuals both trying to do the best they can with what they have.

The only thing that truly bonds a couple together is the level of integrity and trust they have one for the other. If we can trust impeccably, be open and honest, we have the main ingredients of a highly successful and long lasting love life together. For if we do not have trust, what do we have?

As each lover evolves, there may be moments in time when they may be out of sync with their counterpart. What then?

Do you say, “This isn’t working for me; see ya,” as you depart with little concern for the former mate left behind?

Or do you lie and say, “I love you. Everything’s okay. You mean the world to me, nothing could come between us.”

Relationships are hard and no matter how we try to establish hard and fast rules for relationships, it is nearly impossible to have textbook answers for every conceivable scenario. We, as human beings, are far too complex for that.

While there are liars who selfishly lie to the extreme (we call them pathological liars) without regard to others (even if it appears to not be necessary to lie at all), alternatively we are talking about compassionate liars cohabitating in the space somewhere within the bounds of love.

While being totally open and honest are vastly important in relationships, being too open and honest can easily render a relationship null and void. Sometimes in a long term romance, the ability to lie is not only warranted, but may be a necessary component of romantic survivability.

Indeed, a long-term successful and loving relationship between two people consists or a delicate balance between truthfulness and deceit. Just ask any individual alone and off-camera who is part of a successful couple that has enjoyed a state of relationship bliss for many years what is the secret to their long-standing love affair? The answer (if conveyed honestly) will reference the delicate balance between truth and lies.

Why lie in a loving relationship?

For the sake of the big picture, in a selfless effort to preserve all that is sacred in a relationship, the occasion may (and often will) arise when the importance and reverence for the relationship exceeds the need to assert an opinion, fact or truth which might cause harm to the sacredness of the couple’s bond. Thereby justifying a bit of tale-telling to ease past what might have been a difficult situation that may have compromised the relationship or led to its dissolution altogether.

Let’s assume for a moment that the emotional spectrum of a relationship spans from love and acceptance on one end and anger and judgment on the other. Lovers often balance delicate of critical issues by where the consequence will end up on this spectrum. The unbridled truth may end up putting the relationship at risk by hurling it all the way into anger and judgment, while a love lie might not put the relationship at risk at all.

We learned this method of mitigating emotional-charged relationships in our youth. Where the truth may have sent our parents into a fury-filled emotional outburst with negative results, a little lie would sidestep the darkness and pain of disappointment and or impending punishment, and all was well.

I’m not saying it’s wrong or right. No two relationships can possibly be compared and everyone needs to find their own way. These types of “love lies” for the most part will go by completely unnoticed, except in the instances where the deception is interrupted by the otherwise naïve other lover. If we are honest, we would all admit that we do this to some degree without intent of malice.

In fact, we may tell a love lie because we love, honor and respect our mate so much, that we might do or say anything in support of the other and increase our love one for the other, even though our heart may not be totally vested at that particular moment in time. In most cases the love lie goes unnoticed and a greater love prevails.

When the one of the lovers discovers a love lie unawares, the couple needs to address the issue of the existence of this kind of deceit within the relationship. Each couple will have their own unique strategy for dealing with these types of inconsistencies.

The hardest road of all for a couple to attempt to maintain is that of complete and utter honesty regardless of the feelings of the other lover. In some cases this can work, but it takes a unique chemistry between two individuals who can manage such a relationship for long.

This is the emotional high road that if navigated correctly, with love and tolerance, without anger or judgment , we simply accept things as they are and allow each other to be without taking the unbridled truth personally or as an assault to be defended against.

For the rest of us, we try to set and manage boundaries for truth and honesty and believe that our love will survive the test of time, if we truly honor and value each other and the relationship as a whole.

See you at the Soulmate Wizardry event.

Write the Greatest Love Story Ever

When you think about the greatest love stories of all time, certain love icons come to mind such as Romeo and Juliet, Lancelot and Guinevere, Mark Anthony and Cleopatra and Tristan and Isolde. While stories, like these, mesmerize the minds of many a lover over time to seek out relationship potentials similar to what are known as the greatest love stories, a closer look at these stories reveals they may not have been all they were cracked up to be and certainly are not really good examples of relationships to model in real life.

In case you haven’t noticed, the ends of these stories are more often than not terrifyingly tragic. Who wants to sign on for that? Don’t most of us lean more toward the idea of a happily ever after as a consequence of our greatest love of all time?

I think most of us could agree, if we were to write our own love story it would come to a glorious conclusion full of trustworthiness, faithfulness, shared vision, true love and happiness with a bit of adventure thrown in for flavor, leading to a happily ever after type of ending. This sounds much more appealing to me than those aforementioned heralded greatest love stories which did feature passionate love affairs (a necessary component to any tale of true love) but the story rapidly devolves into dysfunction and death not only of the love affair but the death of one or both of the lovers.

It is all so dramatic, as if the most sought-after love is so impossible that the only price to pay is to sacrifice one’s own life for hope of experiencing a brief passionate love. Really?

While we might reside ourselves to believe that God the Almighty writes the story which we all must follow or our fates are written in the stars, the truth of the matter is this:

You are the author of your own love story

So, you best start writing the love story that you want to experience. Your story can take a dramatic twist with the lover you are now engaged in a relationship with, or you can begin to attract the love you desire in any way you see fit as you are the author of your own love story.

First off, forget those famous love stories with all that drama leading to loss of life. This is your chance to write the perfect love story using characters already at your disposal or with an entirely new cast. The choice is yours.

You can write in all the passion and romance you’ve ever desired without all the drama. You can share a co-creative life experiencing all the best things this life has to offer and you can write the happiest of endings as you walk hand-in-hand into the sunset together in loving celebration of a life well lived.

To do justice to your new story, remember to retain the learning from your previous experiences without carrying the negative energy associated with your past. Though you may have gone through negative experiences keep in mind that these events were only put in your life to help you focus intently – not on what you don’t want (because that will only bring you more of the same) – on what you truly desire as you highest and best.

Start writing about your perfect lover; How will you meet? What will he or she look like? What will their life be like? What are the key characteristics to look for? So that when he or she appears in your life, you will know that he or she is the one based on the character study of your true love.

Keep in mind that while perfection may be too much to expect in this incarnation, allow room for characteristics which may be negotiable, while other may remain deal-breakers. Stay focused but have an open mind regarding the many possibilities which are even now approaching your horizon as you write.

Allow room in your story for unexpected changes and challenges as these lead to increasing the possibility of even greater love as you go through these experiences together, strengthening your bond and commitment. The key is to share the experience fully together, ready for any upset and able to do what is necessary to make it to the other side. What waits on the other side of these obstacles and challenges will exceed all your expectations for having the greatest love of all.

Your romance can – and should be – full of sustained enthusiastic joy and happiness. Happiness does not have to be a temporary state of mind, as you may have thought in the past or read about in other stories. You, as the author of your own true love story, have the advantage of holding the writing instrument firmly in your own hand, no one else is forcing you to write anything, write from your heart and continue to write until all your hopes and dreams begin to materialize.

When faced with a challenge, weigh all your options, make a decision based on what resonates with your heart and makes you feel good. What things are good, lovely, inspirational, expressing joy and happiness; use these criteria to base your decisions on.

In those love stories celebrated as the greatest, often includes betrayal as a key component which could affect your story in a negative manner. Your love interest need not be forbidden, in a relationship with someone else (even though there may be a degree of excitement associated with exercising a lurid affair), or promised to another. It may be in your best interest to attract someone who is authentically available and not involved with another. You can write your love interest as one who is pure and truly available to be yours and yours alone, if that is the true nature of your desire. This will assure a solid foundation for the fulfillment of your future love story.

Think on these things as you write your true love story and watch the details appear and play out throughout your life’s journey. Your story has been quite a ride up to this point, now it is time that you craft and experience the greatest love story of all time.

This love story is yours and yours alone and even greater than any love story told.

See you at the Soulmate Wizardry event.