Launch the Love Rocket

Love can be seen as a super power if you decide to embrace it as such. Though it may be dormant, it lies within each and every one of us, but like any tool, weapon or skill, it takes practice to learn how to wield it masterfully.

For instance, we have many tools that we can use when we feel like we’ve been attacked, treated badly or disrespected by another person. We can counter-attack, ignore and ban them, launch hate campaigns or we can choose to love them.

What if a friend betrays you?

You have a variety of tools you can select to deal with the betrayal. Anything you do in response to the betrayal will have a similar effect on you. At the outset defending yourself vehemently may make you feel justified or better during the counter-attack but most likely will have aftershocks of remorse, guilt, shame or sadness that could lead to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) similarities. On the other hand, you could respond with love.

What would the love response look like?

When choosing the love response it’s important to note that you are in no way condoning the actions of the other person. In its highest form, love does not require either an apology or forgiveness on your part. Love only requires you to initiate and launch the love rocket.


Launch Your Love Rocket

The love rocket soars high above the situation, explodes and showers its contents over everything. Try to see your situation from the aerial perspective of the love rocket, seeing you and your adversary as tiny dots on the landscape.

From this perspective you can see the person who betrayed you actually did you a favor by educating you as to his or her level of trustworthiness. As the love cascades down from the heavens, you can love yourself because you are good and you can also love the other person because he or she is equally as good as you. The more you look at this person from a perspective of loving yourself and him or her, you can’t help but wonder what the other person might be going through or what life experience has led them to the place where they felt they had to treat you like that?

Though you may see them now from an empathetic point of view, there is no cause for alarm, confrontation, explanation or intervention necessary. You simply accept that things are what they are as you allow this person the space they need to find their own way in the realization that we are all only doing the best we can with what we have.

You are an intelligent person, and now you know this particular person was not as trustworthy as you might have originally thought. You retain the education, are wiser for it and adjust your relationship accordingly.

While choosing to love might sound like self-martyrdom to someone who is more accustomed to fighting battles head-on in brutal combat, it is actually taking the high road that leads to peace and harmony.

It is not a sacrificial denial of self, if anything it’s just the opposite.

You love yourself enough to love others and protect yourself by reaching for your set of love tools to respond to any situation.

As you receive and retain the learning from others, you adjust your relationships accordingly.

What if I’m in an abusive relationship?

That doesn’t mean you need to love someone while they devastate you. It means you love them as you love yourself and leave them, putting the necessary distance between you so they cannot continue to do harm to you as you continue to love them from afar.

Walk Away Let It Go

When involved in any kind of relationship with another person, whether in a friendship, romantic, familial, work or business relationship, you may find yourself wondering if it’s time for

Letting go of someone you love

let it go walk away tough love letting go of someone you love stupid things know when to walk away

You may find yourself unequally yoked with someone who is not a positive influence on your life. Their lives may be filled with drama and they may be somewhat self-destructive. Because you love and care for this person, you may find yourself expending a great deal of your personal resources redirected to this person more often than not.

Once you realize that someone is draining you, as you have a decreasing volume of inner strength and/or other resources (or even nothing left, if it’s already gone on far too long) for yourself, you begin to wonder if it’s time to walk away from this person, enough for you to garner some strength of your own without accusation, judgment or ridicule – because you know everyone is doing the best they can with what they have – in an effort to just let it go.

Care Too Much

The more emotionally tethered you are to this individual; the harder it may be to sever the cords that bind you so rigidly. Why? Because you care. It’s why you’re in this situation, now, and while it’s good to care, it may be self-destructive of you to care too much. What is caring too much? When

You care about the other person more than they care about themselves

We All Do Stupid Things

Understanding we all are emotional beings, we all realize that we all occasionally find ourselves saying something stupid (inappropriate or at the wrong time and/or place) or doing stupid things when we’re not fully our most conscious. This allows us to engage our empathy when we see someone else struggling and feel sorry for them or want to help them get back on their feet. At what cost?

You can help someone, but you cannot help someone who does not respect your assistance, and will not pick up the ball, accept responsibility for their own life, and live their life in a better way on their own. You cannot be expected to be someone else’s everything. You must love them enough to let them find their own way, even if it means letting them stumble, fall, self-destruct and hit rock bottom, if that’s what it takes.

Know when to walk away

Take a personal power inventory. Rate yourself from 1-to-10 on your personal balance of these:

Happiness, Joy, Contentment, Personal satisfaction, Exercising good judgment, Enjoying activities and/or hobbies, Spending time with others whose company makes you feel good or better, Feeling good about yourself and Enjoying good health.

If your relationship with this person is responsible for depleting your personal accounts in these areas, you know it’s time to walk away.

It’s time to distance yourself from this person if you have more emotional pain resulting from

Depression, fear, despair, rage, guilt, worrying, bitterness, lack of energy, helplessness, unhappiness and frustrations with feeling responsibility for covering up for this person’s actions and life choices.

Other signs you might be better off without this particular person would include their propensity to engage in dishonesty, lack of integrity, making promises they never keep, never compromising, self-sabotage, not following through on commitments, inconsiderate of others (especially you), attract drama and continue to deplete your resources (emotional and/or financial).

It’s time to take the time to let it go and focus on your own emotional well-being.

Tough Love

It’s not that you love them any less. In fact, it takes a much greater love to allow someone to find their own way, even if it means walking through the valley of the shadow of death. It’s not easy to watch someone you care about experience the trauma and repercussions of their own decision-making and having to suffer the consequences without being compelled to help relieve some of their discomfort.

Tough love means I love you enough to care, even share in your emotional pain, and enough to let you go through this on your own. I love you. I believe in you and that you have everything you need to have everything you want, to make all your dreams come true, if you choose to embrace your dreams and to whatever is necessary for you to get to where you want to be.

And they call it tough love because it not easy to do. It may be the hardest thing you’ve ever done. But it’s the best thing you could ever do for you and that person for whom you care so dearly. And the people whom you’ve empowered to take responsibility for their own lives, they won’t like it either. They have become dependent on you, but now it’s their time to shine and make their own way. It will be difficult but it will be worth it.

God bless you in all that you do

See also: Toxic Relationships