tolerant | David M Masters

Everyone remembers the Golden Rule, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” (Matthew 7:12) but I would like to see it upgraded to the Diamond Rule rewritten to say, “Allow unto others as you would have them allow unto you.”

That is to say that you allow everyone else the same respect and courtesy that you would like to receive from them. Not to hard to imagine how this diamond rule could be a huge improvement on the simply doing of things, which is great, but to simply allow someone to be, as you would like to be allowed to be, is a far superior concept.

The precepts for the diamond rule are that all of us are equal, we are all in the process of being, we are all in different stages of growth and change, no one is better than anyone else, we are all individual, yet one and the same.

Some of the ways we can prepare our mindsets to appreciate others in this way would be to honor our differences. Realizing that we are all uniquely different, seeing and celebrating our differences instead of putting others down for being different.

Not being afraid about getting to know someone who is different and might have potentially hugely differing points of views on things, may have an accent, might look and act different, maybe even have a sense of wonder about what it might to be like that person.

You might be able to develop a genuine curiosity about other people, how they go here, their history, heritage, and details about the place that they came from. No need to be timid shy about asking someone about their lives if its non-threatening and tempered with compassion, sharing, and caring.

If something someone says generates a negative feeling inside you, do not lash out at the person who is sharing. Instead, think about looking inside of yourself and ask yourself why you might have responded in that manner to his or her words?

There’s a good chance that you have some hidden (or maybe not so hidden) negative programming at work which might have made you feel that way. Might be an indicator that some deep inner work is necessary for you to continue your own growth and evolution.

As you get to know someone else’s world, continue to grow in your own sense of self, and what you believe. The more self-confident and secure you are in yourself you are, the less defensive you will have to be. If you are very secure about you, there is no need to be threatened by a differing viewpoint, and you can honor someone else’s point of view, like you would want them to honor yours.

Don’t be afraid about using your imagination to put yourself in someone else’s shoes. What might it be like for that person, having lived the life they lived until now? Even in the most difficult circumstances, if someone is disrespectful or expresses anger, instead of posting up to fight back, why not try to understand why he or she might be responding that way?

Chances are, if you’d lived that person’s life, step by step, having endured everything in life that led up to that point, you would have reacted the same way.

When someone’s reaction surprises you or seems to be out of character, you may become curious and wonder why? They might even want to talk about it if you’re non-threatening and genuinely concerned and can have this conversation compassionately without pride or judgment.

Just remember that deep down, we’re all the same. In fact, just to put your mind at ease, even with all our differences, we are 98.2% exactly the same.

So, maybe – just maybe – the next time you think about judging someone or feeling different, you might think about my diamond rule and, “Allow unto others as you would have them allow unto you.”

It doesn’t seem like too much to ask, allowing someone else the same respect and courtesy that you would like to be treated with.

What an excellent way to be different, by allowing others to be different, too, while feeling safe and secure in the knowledge that we are all in this together.

And if you are very brave, you can let the diamond rule flow over into all areas of life where you feel separation or negative feelings about other people, places, or things.

There is a lot of talk about what it means to be tolerant. While the idea of tolerance, by definition, can vary from person to person, everyone has their own take on what being tolerant means. So, what are people like who are tolerant?

Autumn portrait of a beautiful young woman laying on dry autumn leaves

In general, they have a positively wider view of life, the world and its interaction with the universe, as well as the part people play in the world and the overall scheme of things which take place and change over time.

In our common societal nomenclature, tolerance is often seen as a disrespectful allowance of things less desired. To tolerate something is to allow something to play out which one believes or knows to be “wrong” while silently resisting the making fun of or ridiculing the subject, painfully restraining their wanton expression of disapproval, anger, or trying not to throw up. This is not tolerance.

Tolerance is the basis of the Golden Rule, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” (Matthew 7:12). While popularized by the words of Jesus, the idea of treating others as we would like to be treated spans as a common thread among most, if not all, religions from Confucius (and even before) to more recently evolved religious thought which continues to emerge throughout the world.

In the United States, tolerance is the basis of the First Amendment to the Constitution, which grants Americans the right to embrace any religious ideology and the right to express themselves freely in word and peaceably in deed without interference or threat from the Government.

Tolerant people are less likely to judge others as they are more accepting of people who share differing opinions or world views. They are more likely to see the varying shades of gray in thought patterns and are intrigued about them, seeing their similarities, differences, and allow (may even celebrate or defend) the differences of thoughts and beliefs among people.

It would be difficult to find a racist among a group of people who were truly tolerant, as people who practice tolerance see the human race as one, without ethnic divisions.

Those who practice tolerance are more likely to accept things as they are, even in the worst of circumstances. Tolerance leads to believing that things will happen along one’s life journey which are unexpected, even oppressive painful, and this is all of a higher, grand design.

Tolerant people are more apt to learn from mistakes and hardships suffered in life, and to look for the sacred message or gift hidden amongst the drama or trauma of life.

Tolerant people seek to understand without judgment. Someone who practices tolerance is likely to wonder rather than defend. That is to say, a tolerant person’s first reaction to a new idea or a concept which on the surface appears to be undesirable or conflictive is wonder rather than the intolerant person’s first line of defense, to reject, defend, and ready themselves for debate or battle.

A tolerant person asks themselves to wonder why someone might think, speak, or do something that might be interpreted as disrespectful, rude, abusive, or mean. Keeping in mind that if he or she were in the shoes of the abrasive person, the tolerant person would have done the same thing, because this person has lived an entire life preparing to act out in just this way.

Therefore, tolerance is kind and compassionate about other people’s state of mind, even though they may be vastly different, for they are just like us, we’re all doing the best we can with what we have.

Tolerant people are curious about what might be going on “behind the scenes” but contemplate these things without judgment, without blaming or demonizing anyone or anything which might be perpetrating the conflicting thought or situation.

The tenet of the tolerant is to live and let live without prejudice.

You tell me: What are people like who are tolerant?

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