Everyone remembers the Golden Rule, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” (Matthew 7:12). Still, I would like to see it upgraded to the Diamond Rule rewritten to say, “Allow unto others as you would have them allow unto you.”
That is, you allow everyone else the same respect and courtesy that you would like to receive from them. It is not too hard to imagine how this diamond rule could greatly improve simply doing things, which is great. However, simply allowing someone to be as you would like to be allowed to be is a far superior concept.
The precepts of the diamond rule are that all of us are equal, we are all in the process of being, we are all in different stages of growth and change, no one is better than anyone else, and we are all individual yet one and the same.
Some ways we can prepare our mindsets to appreciate others in this way are to honor our differences, realize that we are all uniquely different, and see and celebrate our differences instead of putting others down for being different.
Not being afraid about getting to know someone who is different, who might have potentially hugely differing points of view on things, may have an accent, might look and act differently, or maybe even have a sense of wonder about what it might be like to be that person.
You might be able to develop a genuine curiosity about other people, how they got here, their history, heritage, and details about the place that they came from. There is no need to be timid or shy about asking someone about their lives if it is non-threatening and tempered with compassion, sharing, and caring.
If something someone says generates a negative feeling inside you, do not lash out at the person sharing. Instead, think about looking inside of yourself and ask yourself why you might have responded in that manner to his or her words.
There’s a good chance that you have some hidden (or maybe not so hidden) negative programming at work that might have made you feel that way. It might be an indicator that some deep inner work is necessary for you to continue your own growth and evolution.
As you get to know someone else’s world, continue to grow in your own sense of self and your beliefs. The more self-confident and secure you are, the less defensive you must be. If you are very secure about yourself, there is no need to be threatened by a differing viewpoint, and you can honor someone else’s point of view like you would want them to honor yours.
Don’t be afraid to use your imagination to put yourself in someone else’s shoes. What might it be like for that person, having lived the life they lived until now? Even in the most difficult circumstances, if someone is disrespectful or expresses anger, instead of posting up to fight back, why not try to understand why he or she might be responding that way?
Chances are, if you’d lived that person’s life step by step, having endured everything in life that led up to that point, you would have reacted the same way.
When someone’s reaction surprises you or seems out of character, you may become curious and wonder why. If you’re non-threatening and genuinely concerned and can have this conversation compassionately without pride or judgment, they might even want to talk about it.
Just remember that deep down, we’re all the same. To put your mind at ease, we are 98.2% the same, even with all our differences.
So, maybe the next time you think about judging someone or feeling different, you might think about my diamond rule: “Allow unto others as you would have them allow unto you.”
It doesn’t seem too much to ask, allowing someone else the same respect and courtesy you would like to be treated with.
What an excellent way to be different, by allowing others to be different, too, while feeling safe and secure in the knowledge that we are all in this together.
If you are very brave, you can let the diamond rule flow into all areas of life where you feel separation or negative feelings about other people, places, or things.