Be True to Yourself

When you’re getting an idea of who you are, not the you you’ve been programmed to accept but the you that came to this planet with a clear purpose, message, passion, and mission, you are in the process of defining your unique and individual self and you want to be true to yourself, the you that you are becoming.

You are knowing your truth (which may change periodically as you continue to grow and expand in your own personal evolution), have a desire to achieve your highest and best, want to live a better life, your best life, make the world a better place, and have a strong compulsion to be true to yourself.

“To thine own self be true”
~ Wm Shakespeare

While being true to yourself seems simple enough on the surface, beneath and deep within yourself this sense of congruence can look like so many things depending on where you are on your personal journey.

You know you’re being true to yourself when you’re feeling good about who you are. You really like the you that you are becoming and are starting to love yourself for who you are.

That voice inside your head which badgered you with different forms of negative self-talk is fading away into the dark void as your self-confidence rises to match the acceptance of your divine mission.

Understanding that communication is the key to delivering your own unique message, you are finding new and better ways to express yourself and speak your truth without offending the people you are trying to effectively communicate with.

You’re not having to maintain different personalities for different work, social, friend and family situations. You can represent your self as yourself without having to compromise, impress anyone, or care about what anyone else thinks, and you’re feeling good about it.

You are living a more centered and congruent life and are able to manage life’s situations, circumstances, and unforeseen obstacles which may arise, without the panic or sense of helplessness that you may have once felt in the past.

There is a simple ease for finding places of peace and joy in all things, decision-making comes without confusion or conflict, and you are more able to exercise your daily feats with accuracy, a high level of precision and performance.

All this is true for you when you are being true to yourself.

To be true to yourself you can give up the activities which no longer serve your new, more expanded self.

You no longer feel the need to kowtow to others, so you don’t need to play games anymore. You don’t need to manipulate, fear someone might be trying to manipulate you, or even feel like having to laugh falsely regarding an off-color joke or remark which conflicts with your alignment.

Remember when you felt a sense of guilt or compulsory obligation to agree with someone, or compliment someone who really didn’t deserve it out of fear of not being liked, loved, or regarded as a nice person? You don’t do that anymore.

Misrepresenting or compromising your authentic self is no longer an option, and now, the idea of it seems not only incongruent, but feels like hypocrisy, or lying. In fact, you’re realizing, you can be totally honest, never needing to lie again, not even to spare someone’s feelings, because now you are finding ways to agree to disagree without lying or compromising, without dishonoring someone else’s right to maintain their own opinion, even if it contrasts your own.

Your openness and honesty empower you to be who you are, in all your strength and in your weakness, without having to make apologies if you’re experiencing a moment when you’re not on your game 100 percent. You’re allowed to have a bad day, or a less than peak moment, without having to apologize to yourself or anyone else.

Militaristically forcing yourself to do the things that you need to do to get to where you want to be in a devil-may-care, take no prisoners-type attitude no longer serves you. You are finding new, more positive, ways to find the motivation to do the things that serve you on the way to achieving your highest and best.

You don’t have to compromise your integrity anymore, not when you can be true to yourself.

It’s Not What You Say It’s How You Say It

Ever try to talk to someone, expressing an opinion that the person you’re talking to is not getting it? Not only is this person not getting it, they may have a completely opposite point of view. Once you’ve determined the person is not receptive to what you have to say, you might consider to assert yourself risking a full on debate which could lead to war, or clam up and walk away in an effort to avoid any potential conflict.

It’s Not What You Say,
It’s How You Say It

On the other hand, you can assert your ideas, concepts, and beliefs in such as way so as not to alienate the person (or people) you are trying to express your ideals to. I think finding a way to speak your truth is important. You need to say what you need to say but say it in a way that it won’t turn someone away.

You need to possess the self-confidence to assert yourself in certain circumstances. For sensitive or introverted personality types this can be a challenge. For those who are more sensitive, you need to get a grip on who you are. You are an amazing person who has been blessed with the opportunity to be here. You have accepted the life challenge which has brought you to this place and time to say what you want to say. It’s up to you to accept the challenge and speak your piece.

You are a unique individual who has come to this planet a purpose, message, passion, and mission to share and fulfill. You came here with special skills and abilities, everything you could possibly need to achieve your highest and best, live a better life, your best life, and make the world a better place. Step into who you know you are and boldly go forth into the world, ready and willing to speak up when it is necessary or prudent.

It takes courage, and you can prepare for this higher level of sharing by practicing your sharing skills in private. Yes, just you and your mirror, or record your own audio and/or video. Review your delivery, and tweak accordingly. This can be a huge confidence-builder in terms of strengthening your assertion skills. Practice is good.

Defending your position, when you’re faced with someone with an opposing view is tricky business. This is where most people fall apart, isolate their audience, potentially bully, and prevent any hope of meaningful conversation. If you assert yourself too forcefully, the person you’re talking to is either going to post up for a debate or shut down. Anything you say after that is falling on dead ears and is not only a waste of your time; it is counterproductive because your defense tactic is too offensive. You’ve potentially hurt their feelings, bullied them, repelled your audience and sent them (metaphorically) running in the opposite direction that you intended.

Be mindful of the delivery of your message. Don’t raise your voice when you’re approached with opposing views, or use words or phrases that will alienate or put the person you’re trying to talk to on the defensive, such as tossing shoulds at your audience. “You should,” causes the person to position for battle. No one likes to be told what they “should” do, and just as importantly avoid using should-related terms, like shouldn’t, must, mustn’t, need to, has to, only if, or only when.

Awfulizing statements (a phrase coined by Albert Ellis) refers to words and phrases associated with the word “awful” which causes your audience to put on their armor and prepare for battle. Awfulizing uses the word “awful,” as wells as other words and phrases like terrible, horrible, it bothers me, I can’t stand it when, or I hate it, etc…

Don’t punish your listener by framing your message with punishment, even if it’s directed to others outside of the conversation. This is a sensitive topic of conversation which causes the listener to reach for weapons to ready themselves for battle, so avoid saying someone deserves to be punished, should be “taught a lesson,” or needs to know what it feels like. Including the damnation of others, or yourself.

Also avoid using constrictive or limiting words that are 100% exclusive, allowing no other possibilities, such as always or never.

Be open and honest without being offensive. You don’t have to be rude or resort to name-calling. Just say what you mean without compromising but do it in a kind and gentle manner. Assert yourself while remaining calm and centered as you share your message as you are being courteous, compassionate, and use a tender tone of voice, without having to be aggressive or disrespectful to your audience.

Try to speak the language of the person that you’re trying to talk to. Try to see your message from their point of view. Imagine what if might like to be this person, having lived the life they lived, dealing with circumstances and situation, which you may have no reference to. Consider having walked a mile in this person’s shoes. Then think about what presentation might be the best approach for trying to compassionately communicate with someone like this.

Listen to your audience’s opposing view with compassion, essentially seeing it with their eyes, from their point of view. Seek to understand first, then ask yourself, “If I were this person, what would I need to hear?” How would you need to hear it in order to be the most receptive?

It’s so important to say what you need to say, because if you don’t you give away your power and deny your divinity, So, say what you need to say but say it in way that you can continue to achieve your highest and best, live a better life, your best life, and make the world a better place.