How Dare You Disrespect Me

You know what I’m talking about. It happens every day in the lunchroom, on the court, in the office, in person, on the phone, or on social media, like Facebook, someone says, texts, or posts something that instantly takes you to fight-or-flight. Hurt or anger wells up inside you and you either say or shout,

“How dare you disrespect me!”

Your ego is riled up and in full force, posting up ready to fight, defending your honor over words that someone has uttered or typed which have offended you and possibly cut you so deep that you are crippled by the assault.

Whatever the reason, someone had the unmitigated gall to bully you, spewing at you their hurtful words. When words hurt you, the effects can be very real, as if you’ve been punched in the gut, hit it the face with a board, instantly suffered a knife wound from being stabbed in the back, or shot through the heart.

While people might accidentally step on a nerve or unintentionally say something that might offend you, believe it or not, there are actually people who might try to hurt you on purpose. This leaves you wanting to confront them and say, “You hurt me.”

They might suffer from deep, dark inner wounds, far hidden from visible or conscious view. This causes them to unconsciously project their fears onto people around them.

There is also a more conscious version of projection which projects their conscious inadequacies, things they know are problems in their own lives, but rather than deal with the issues themselves, they project them onto the people around them. This act offers them relief from feeling inadequate if they can convince themselves that someone (or everyone) else is worse than they are.

Then there are those who have to maintain a sense of superiority over others to make themselves feel better about themselves. If they do have a superiority complex, there’s a good chance they’re a little more adept at putting other people down and hurting their feelings than other individuals.

The stealthier verbal attackers are the ones who are passive-aggressive. They have the ability to disrespect or insult most anyone, without actually using specific words that can be addressed as being abusive, assaultive, or rude.

In these cases, the passive-aggressive might say something in a way that hurts your feelings, and when you respond negatively they reply with, “What?” Insisting they did not say anything (specific words that by themselves would not be assaultive) to hurt your feelings.

Someone with low self-esteem might be jealous of you and what you have. Someone who is jealous of you, your skills, talents, special abilities, station in life, or happiness, might like to strike out at you to hurt your feelings or even falsely accuse you of something to bring you down a peg or two. This offers him or her a bit of relief regarding their own life circumstances.

Everyone is just doing the best they can just to get through another day. There is so much struggle to have a good feeling about one’s self, that some of us (if not most of us) might get some sense of satisfaction by putting someone else down.

For some reason, our psyches are just set up that way. Either directly or indirectly disrespecting someone else for anything that would otherwise make us feel bad seems to be effective when we are very young and left unchecked it carries over into adulthood.

Then, of course, there is the psychopath who seeks to wreak havoc and leave a wake of emotional destruction wherever they go, but that’s a horse of a different color. In this case, see: How to Deal with a Psychopath.

Don’t Let Them Get to You

Ever have someone slow your roll by interrupting your positive vibrational momentum and breaking your stride by bringing you down? The power that others wield in your circle of influence may be stronger than you think. Don’t let them get to you.

Because your parents and others supported the idea that you would grow into a confident competent adult, the day came when you adopted the persona of the grownup. You actually became the embodiment of what those around you expected you to become. They believed in you, you believed in their expectations, and you grew into your adulthood.

You are able to face all life’s challenges because you believe in your ability to do so. Often your belief in yourself was influenced by those you who surround and support you.

For those who were not fortunate enough to have a powerful support system, they have a tougher time of it and will face challenges with a feeling of unconfident and incapable of staring obstacles down with the ability to draw from a history of inner strength. These people have the most difficult go of it.

Those within our circle of influence have an incredible effect on who we are and whom we become.

When you’re in the presence of another person, your attitude and potential for successfully navigating any communication is greatly influenced by the other person. Whether it be your friend, someone who has power over you, a parent, teacher, law enforcement, a judge, the government, or your spouse.

Likewise, anyone you have influence over like you friends, workers, if you’re a manager, people you are teaching, younger siblings, or children you might be raising or babysitting, are influenced by the words you use as well as the respect and support you give them when they are in your presence.

For those who are living their highest and best life, they believe in their capacity for goodness, greatness, and unconditional love, and so it is. They are stepping into their purpose, message, passion and mission. These are the people who are not unlike you. You, too, can live a better life, your best life, and make the world a better place.

I guess that’s why it’s referred to your circle of influence. These people don’t just represent the people you have influence over, but it also represents the people who have the ability to have influence over you.

Left unchecked, you could be allowing people to populate your circle of influence who could be dragging you down, they could even be influencing who you are, or who you will become.

If you have allowed people to influence you negatively, now is the time to turn the tables on them and show them what you are made of, and all the possibilities which are awaiting your loving embrace. The time has come for you to grow and expand beyond any limitations of anyone else.

The naysayers are wrong. Anyone who ever amounted to anything faced those who didn’t believe in them, and the most successful people persisted to continue to strive above and beyond any of the expectations of the naysayers.

The most successful people proved them wrong in spite of the beliefs of the doubters.

Don’t let them get to you

You have the power over who you become, and it’s up to you to protect yourself from those who could stand between you and your embracing you and all of your potentialities, all your gifts and talents, all your love and strength of honor.

You are worthy. You have been endowed with everything you could possibly need to get from where you are to where you want to be, and no one has the right to question your divine endowment.

You Can’t Do That

Whether it is that frightened little voice inside, your best friend, a family member or your neighbor, what do you feel like when someone (including your inner critic) says, “You can’t do that,” or similarly tries to dissuade you by initiating a “reality check,” listing all the reasons why you shouldn’t attempt to do something.

You rationalize that your inner critic, friends and family are only looking out for your best interests and even they say they are only trying to protect you from the embarrassment of failure. They insist they don’t want to see you get hurt, depressed, or lose anything and that it is only of the upmost concern for your wellbeing that they try to help you see the light and encourage you not to pursue your idea.

Because there is a measure of unworthiness, a sense of not being good enough, that resides within you, you thank your friend for saving you from a potential catastrophe.

Though they may be representing themselves as caring so much about you that they feel the compulsion to help you not pursue a ridiculous dream or engage in an activity that could cause you suffering.

The truth is, the people who are closest to you are selfish and don’t want to see you try something and succeed, because if you pursue a dream or follow a calling and succeed, what does that mean for them? They will no longer be able to justify their “safe” lives of mediocrity any longer, and to feel as though there is a greater purpose in life waiting for them outside their comfort zone is just too frightening to consider.

If you want to live a better life, possibly your best life and make the world a better place, then don’t let these naysayers drag you down or keep you from pursuing your dreams.

You need to assess your support system and determine who has your back and who does not. Most people want to see you live an acceptable lifestyle similar to theirs, but you may have friends who will support you in whatever pursuits you might engage in. Keep these people (hopefully you can find at least one) nearby and consider mustering up the courage to

Go For It

Without people, like you, going for it, regardless of what other people say, we would not have light bulbs, long distance watercraft, airplanes or space travel. Almost every major breakthrough in science, technology, business, or lifestyle was preceded by opposition and name-calling, so you’re in good company.

If you choose to do so, you can put yourself behind the wheel and become the captain of your own ship by not listening to others who might try to keep you from achieving your highest and best.

“But what if I fail?”

If you were to ask any innovator throughout history, they would tell you that there was no such thing as failure as most major breakthroughs are based on the information gained from failures. Very few individuals hit a home run with their first swing of the bat. Finding your passion and taking action to work toward having an impact on your life, the lives of others and possibly the world at large will take the willingness to step into the unknown in faith.

If you are met with a challenge, obstacle, interference – or if you fail – persevere, push through and become the hero of your own story.

You Can Do It

When you embrace your passion and deliberately blaze your own trail regardless of anything that may stand in your way (even yourself), the impossible, making your wildest dreams come true, becomes possible.

You got this, you can do it.