Category: Blog

7 Phases of Personal Growth

You start out on this life and start your journey of personal growth which follows seven distinct phases which follow in succession from primitive values and behavior and depending on how your learning and travels you could find yourself anywhere amidst the 7 phases of personal growth.

An excellent overview of the 7 phases of personal growth can be summed up at Clare W. Graves’ Levels of Human Existence which mimic the path we follow as we progress from one phase to the next.

It’s a good idea to have a working knowledge of these 7 phases of personal growth if you’re working as a coach, counselor, and consultant so that you can keep your clients moving in a positive direction as they grow along their personal and/or professional journey in life.

The levels of human existence can be found not only in human growth and potential but are also present in other areas of life where potential and progress is found.

The most basic form of personal development basically starts at ground zero which is Phase 1.

Phase 1: Survival

This is where we all start. In terms of human existence. Survival refers to the base level of human existence, like seeking shelter from the elements and grubbing for food. Resources are extremely limited. Due to our current level of society, it is difficult to find anyone at Phase 1, unless someone was totally isolated and truly struggling with homelessness.

Phase 2: Relationship

This is where we develop a tribe mentality as we become a part of the greater community. In a tribal community, we forfeit our individuality for the benefit of supporting the tribal Chief. Your life is pretty much a result of whatever the Chief dictates. You can see how this can apply to other areas of life, like family, school, sports, work, and career pursuits.

Phase 3: Self-esteem

Phase 3 represents the rebellious stage, which harbors a lot of rejection and aggression. This is where the individual begins to express its individuality and doesn’t want to submit to the Chief anymore. For someone in phase 3, they will just about do whatever they want or can to get whatever it is that they want, regardless of anyone or anything else.

Phase 4: Transformation

The disregard for others in phase 3 leads to a wondering about the consequences of unbridled self-esteem. Asking questions, like what happened to others who were disregarded, an introspection, and thoughts of what if someone treated me like that?

There is a compulsion to do what it takes to carve out a successful separation for a better life and do the right thing. This is where individuals seek to devise a system to accommodate a number of participants who are willing to sacrifice self in the present for the promise of reward later.

Phase 5: Internal Cohesion

In phase 5 the entrepreneurial spirit breaks forth, and people want more out of life. They are tired of the same ol’ same ol’ and aren’t going to subject themselves to the lives led by their predecessors.

Phase fivers have the determination to do whatever it takes, sacrificing all while respecting the laws of the land to create a better life for them, their families, the community, and the world at large.

Even so, they are likely to disrespect the environment in phase 5 as their attention is so extremely focused on the struggle for success as they are going-it-alone, so determined to make it happen, doing it themselves.

Phase 6: Making a Difference

Because of the disregard for the environment in phase 5 the next level highly regards the environment. These are the people who are determined to fight for a better world, save the whales, join PETA, and may become vegetarians.

They will protest against war and other injustices of life.

Those who find themselves in phase 6 want everyone to play along with them. Everyone gets a say, vote, or equal share.

While gathering around the campfire and singing Kumbya may feel good but it just doesn’t get the job done.

It turns out, that this may succeed in the short-term, but not so much in the long-term because there are those who will seek to take advantage of or exploit the weaknesses of phase 6.

Phase 7: Service

This is the level of human mastery. In phase 7 you can access any of the previous levels using their attributes to apply to any current situation. In phase 7, you seek results and have access to a wealth of personal evolution and growth and have access to your own strengths to wield as necessary.

You can develop teams and anyone who is capable can lead a team. There is no need to do it all yourself (in contrast to phase 5). There is more respect and allowance for others to be who they are and offer their individual strengths for the greater good.

Level 7 is all about possibilities, options, and choices.

You can see how the 7 phases of personal growth can apply to many different slices of life and shows a steady progression from one phase to the next.

But the journey doesn’t end there. Following your personal growth, you can progress into the further evolution of man and the 7 Phases of Spiritual Growth.

You and Your Dog Inside

They say a dog is man’s best friend. That’s probably because in many ways there is a part of us that is not dissimilar to a dog. There is you and your dog inside of you. There is a higher version of yourself which is more evolved than your dog, and there is that base part of you and your dog inside.

For the moment, let’s refer to the dog part of you as Lassie. Lassie, not unlike other animals, is more concerned with being content and avoiding pain. Desiring the basic necessities of life such as food and shelter, mating and forming relationships with others.

Lassie has a natural tendency to want to care for others, and have fun, but can also experience overwhelming feelings, especially if the dog inside of you has suffered some abuse in the past. Lassie can be cuddly one minute, and in a second, when triggered, can be defensive and fierce, or turn and run away from anything which perceptually might cause harm.

Then there is that more intellectually evolved thinking part of you which is very imaginatively creative with the ability to be compassionate, reason, analyze, deduce, dream, project, and interact with others using language and higher levels of communication. Let’s call this part of you, Charlie.

Being inside the same body, Lassie and Charlie can face many challenges in trying to navigate life both as you and the dog inside of you.

Lassie is highly adaptive and is prone to change when faced with new circumstances in an effort to “get along” while Charlie will over-analyze just about anything, and lugs around an incredible (almost never-ending) filing system which hinders our ability to move on.

Lassie can easily sleep soundly when it is time to rest, while Charlie can stay up all night wondering, “What could happen if…” imagining and running all types of scenarios through the mind, creating new ideas, and fictitious threats and dangerous situations which have no relevancy in real life.

Charlie’s ability to be imaginative and creative is a gift which leads to problem-solving, miraculous inventions and advances in the sciences, but in concert with Lassie can cause us to become overwhelmed by emotional fear, which is a slippery slope when we exercise a good portion of Charlie’s skills in fear, leading to fear, anxiety, and depression.

This can create a virtual never-ending cycle of anxiety which can drain the resources of our entire biological system, weakening our immune system, making us more susceptible to disease, premature aging, and leading us to an early grave.

Thankfully, there is an even higher version of our selves which lives off-campus. Let’s call this part of us, Skyler.

Connecting with Skyler can help to keep Charlie from being over-powered by an overactive Lassie. Since Skyler is outside of your body, by adopting this point of view you can see a perspective of any given situation outside of yourself. From this vantage point you can be more objective and less judgmental.

Skyler can be the mediator between Charlie and Lassie enabling you to achieve your highest and best.

Mindfulness comes from Skyler and meditating allows us to be more connected with that higher part of our selves. This can allow you to live a better life, your best life, and make the world a better place for you and your dog inside of you.

It’s a Mirror!

You just never know how wisdom will come to you. How about a man screaming at a woman and she holds up her hand flat palm to his face and asserts (almost screaming), “It’s a mirror!”

This is happening to me in real time across the parking lot. A man is screaming about something at a woman who is clearly with him. He’s outside the car on the driver’s side and she’s outside the passenger’s side and he is yelling at her, but clearly not about her.

I was far enough away to not understand what the man was upset about, maybe something that happened inside the establishment, or something else personal, but he was clearly upset and a little out of control.

The part that came out loud and clear was the woman’s holding her hand up between her face and his, and boldly asserting, “It’s a mirror!” Which would stop the man dead in his tracks, disrupting his explosive rant.

I could almost feel him going inside himself to take a look in there. After a brief pause, he would murmur, then get himself all worked up again. Only to be interrupted by the woman’s, “It’s a mirror!” again.

Now, I have no idea what is happening in real life across the parking lot, but what I am witnessing through the lens of higher potentiality is blowing my mind.

He might be a highly suspicious person extremely upset about breaking a mirror in the store which would give him 7 years of bad luck, but in my mind’s eye, I saw a man upset about anything. And I saw the woman as one of the most enlightened therapists I had ever seen in action.

For there is little that could be any truer than:

If you are experiencing anything in life that causes you to feel upset

It’s a mirror!

For those of us on the path of personal growth and expansive evolution, we know that when our caveman-like defense mechanism is triggered, unless it is an actual emergency, it is a signal indicating we have some unresolved issues to look at.

These are the sensitive, most intimate, and integral details of our life asserting their need to be noticed. For the most part, people are programmed not to look inside, and instead blame, feel threatened by, or threaten anyone or anything as we project our feelings of upset, fear, or rage on whatever is within reach at the time.

Some of us are better at seeing negative feelings as a mirror. I, for instance, have not mastered the recognition of the mirror at the first inclination to feel something negative. So, I am more likely to exert a negative emotion, than to first look inside for hidden trauma, unresolved issues, or answers.

Why?

Because I don’t have someone to hold their hand up in front of me to say, “It’s a mirror!” when I start to look at or feel something negatively.

This is the profound takeaway I was given in this moment in the parking lot.

And I pray, the next time I begin to feel a negative emotion or start getting upset about someone or something, that I can hear that woman’s voice in my head asserting,

“It’s a mirror!”

That would be enough to break my emotional state and cause me to look within to see what mysteries are waiting to be revealed.

3 Minute Rant

There comes a time in life, when no matter how hard you successfully maintain a state of calm in the face of a hectic everyday life, every once and a while you find yourself overwhelmed by a flood of emotion. Thank God, there’s the 3 Minute Rant.

You’ve mastered the art of digging up the emotional baggage of your past, you’ve done the deep work, and you’re continuing to grow and expand every day, then it happens. Something unexpected catches you off-guard and still, with all the tools you have to master your emotional state you feel that rush of emotions and you’re ready to blow a gasket.

Then you’re quickened by the notion that you’re the master of your emotion, so you push it down with all your might (and good intentions) and try to ignore it’s there.

You know the consequences of harboring pent-up emotions, but you feel like full-on venting is beneath you or immature at this level of your own personal growth and expansion.

Not to worry. Thankfully, you can always take a break from real life and consider letting it out by engaging in the

3 Minute Rant

When you feel like you’ve reached the limit of your capacity for peace, harmony, self-control and you’re triggered to rage, no problem. Let your fury fly, full-on, unrestrained for 3 minutes, then regain your composure.

Ahhh, that feels so much better.

You can take some precautionary measures in preparation for your 3-minute rant. For instance, your rant is probably not fit for public exposure, so you should consider maintaining your composure the best you can until you find an appropriate time and place.

Once you’ve found a safe place to conduct your 3-minute rant and have a pretty good idea that you will have a full three minutes to let it out without being interrupted, have a method to time yourself. You can use a clock, use an egg timer, or set an alarm on your phone for three minutes.

Then let it all out.

Do whatever you need to do to get it out. Stop, hit a pillow (be careful not to permanently damage inanimate obtects), stop, shake your fist at the sky,  cry, scream, cuss, whatever… Just let it all out, without judgment, limiting yourself to 3 minutes.

If you’re like me, after about a minute or so, you’re pretty much done, exhausted, and/or find yourself giggling. If not at the situation which has you all wound up, certainly at yourself.

After you’ve released the pressure you can go about the business of managing whatever details are left to deal with concerning the source of your hurt feelings, anger, or frustration with the tools you have available for you to work with.

There is no need for you ever to harbor ill feelings within yourself,about yourself or anyone or anything else, let it out and let it go.

It is not a perfect solution, by any means, but the 3-minuterantcan get you from here to there bridging the gap between feelong helpless and hope of a brighter future.

Fear not, you got this.

 

Dying to Self

It’s common for people who are on the path of personal growth to discover the biggest thing that stands between them and where they want to be is themselves. That part of themselves which is for the most part hidden from their conscious mind but more powerful than anything seen with the eyes. We call this your ego.

To you, this part of you feels like the most important thing in your life, as though it should be protected, guarded, adhered to, and obeyed at every instance. Your ego creates fear and paranoia at every opportunity and has you on alert for any hint of being disrespected or threatened and it has you on high alert, ready to fight or flee at any moment.

But this part of you is not that higher version of yourself which seeks to bestow upon you all the good things in life. That higher part of you that wants the best for you, encouraging you to want more, desiring to see you do things the easy way, instead of the hard way. It harkens you to achieve your highest and best.

When you witness someone so close to having the best things in life, then see them lost in a sea of helplessness with their hopes for a better life thwarted once again, if you’re compelled to think that he or she is his or her worst enemy, there is likely a self-destructive battle of the ego and pride going on behind the scenes.

You may have even found yourself saying, “I am my worst enemy,” and if you have, there’s a good chance your ego is the tiger you must tame to fully enjoy the good life.

Your ego is such an ever-present part of you who knows everything about you, every word spoken or unspoken, every feeling that you’ve ignored or tried to hide, every tear that’s ever fallen, and the only presence who has never abandoned you. It’s no wonder you’ve become so dependent upon it.

Your ego has assured you that it is the only essence which cares for you and seeks to protect you from that which seeks to destroy you, the lions, tigers, bears, and unseen things which are just waiting to ruin your life, keeping you in a constant state of fear.

The letting go of this protective and prideful part of yourself is frightening even to consider.

How can I live a life increasing the potential for vulnerability or danger? Surely, nothing good could come from that.

These are the thoughts your ego has cloaked itself in, to protect you from seeing its true nature.

Though the process may be grueling and not unlike suffering the prolonged dying of a loved one, letting go of the ego, connecting instead your love and life to that greater part of you, is not easy.

In fact, it’s referred to as a dying to self, which as you can imagine, could be quite traumatic.

Dying to self is a key component in religious, spiritual, personal growth, and conscious expansion. It is part of the emerging evolution of the human condition.

Every time a part of the ego dies, love (that every powerful, unlimited force of life) fills the void, your life gets a little easier, you experience a growing peace as life gets lighter and you find it easy to be happier for longer periods of time.

It’s not easy, and it’s not something you should consider running into haphazardly. Dying to self is serious business, and as the ego dies, there will be a grieving process, and that’s okay.

No one can really tell you how to conduct this process of dying to self and letting go of your ego.

This is your journey.

You can watch and learn from others who have gone before, but this business of letting go of your self which represents that barbarian part of our ancestors is highly unique unto you.

You must make your own way to your new, more enlightened, and evolved self which is waiting for your arrival.

Encouraging Others

You can have a huge impact on someone’s life just by adopting the ministry of encouraging others. I try to encourage others by edifying them, lifting them up, and trying to help them see the world of possibilities which we are all surrounded by every day but rarely see.

People are so focused on the “just getting by” or making it through to another day that they miss the incredible opportunities to embrace the idea that life can be so much more than just the same ol’ same ol’ day-to-day drudgery.

You are a child of God and as such, you are entitled to all the good things this life has to offer. You know this to be true because regardless of life circumstances, social programming, some inner personal wounds, and maybe not feeling worthy, or due to a lack of self-esteem, you want something more out of life.

You have the desire to live a better life because deep inside you know you were destined to live a better life, you best life and maybe even be so enthusiastically living such an incredible life that you might like to serve the greater good and make the world a better place.

Maybe all you need is a little encouragement, and as you’re feeling better about living this life, you can feel that tug on your heart to reach out to encourage others who are feeling awkward about embracing all this life has to offer them.

Most people find it hard to believe that they can, in a sense, “have it all.” Even though, if encouraged to step back and take a wider view of the world, they can see so much more than they could previously. The slightest change of perspective could make all the difference.

Many people have had such a difficult time with their life’s journey they are unable to see their own amazing qualities, skills, and gifts, which make them so incredibly valuable, even priceless, to the greater community around them.

When you become aware of someone’s unique abilities, please take the time to compliment them on their specialness. It may be the only encouragement or recognition they get. Why? Because the world we live in today has left us all so frantically trying to manage our waking hours in such a flurry of activity that we (feel like we) don’t have the time to spend our limited time (or attention) on someone who would have little or nothing to offer us in return.

Certainly, we do have to focus on our own stuff as we’re growing, changing, and evolving into the better version of ourselves, but our growth must include the encouragement of others around us, otherwise, we would be just selfish narcissists.

Would it be too much to ask if you witnessed someone exercising their ability to do or say something that sets them aside from the rest of the pack to encourage them with a compliment? Even if all you say is something rudimentary, like, “Hey, that thing you just did was so cool.”

I meet a lot of people at various stages along their walk of life who report they contemplated, then decided to make massive, more positive changes, in their life due to the slightest encouragement of someone they barely knew. That life-changing person could be you.

Encourage others without being critical. Try not to follow a compliment with a “but.” You can gently encourage others to do better without discounting your original compliment.

There’s no need to point out someone’s shortcomings (most people beat themselves up enough already).

Celebrate someone when you see them doing something good or expressing their individual gifts.

Do encourage others to stretch themselves to reach higher by complimenting them helping them to recognize their strengths, abilities and consider the unlimited potential they have while supporting them to do even better.

Step back, and watch them grow.

 

Betrayal

There are so many types and styles of betrayal that to try to delineate what betrayal could construe would be fruitless because you know what betrayal is. You know what betrayal is between two or more people and what it feels like if you have ever been betrayed; and who of us has not experienced a betrayal at one time or another?

The idea of betrayal assumes there is someone who is actively betraying (antagonist) and someone who is being betrayed (the protagonist). In essence, for there to be a betrayal there must two parts of betrayal, a “betrayer” and a “betrayee.” This also assumes that there is a good guy (the one being betrayed) and a bad guy (the one doing the betraying).

The pain associated with being betrayed can be immensely powerful and overwhelming across the entire spectrum of emotions. On one end of the spectrum a victim of betrayal can be overcome with hatred, anger, even become violent. On the other end of the spectrum, someone can be so hurt that they get depressed, completely immobilized, cognitive and physiological systems start to shut down, and may even consider taking their own life due to the betrayal.

Betrayal is a serious business and comes at an incredible price to participants involved in the betrayal.

The first order of business in a betrayal is the protection of the person who feels he or she has been victimized or hurt by the betrayal. As soon as possible, the victim of a betrayal must be able to find a safe place to prevent further victimization, and actively find ways to feel good enough to seek healing and a better state of being happy, if possible.

A victim of betrayal must have the raw materials (energy and reasonably cognitive state) to work through the process of healing with the least amount of damage to self, the person who betrayed him or her, or others who may be impacted by the betrayal who may or may not have participated in the event.

Once the victim is feeling good enough to deal with the details of the situation, then processing the details of the scenario can be broken down and evaluated. Keeping in mind that in every negatively impactful event in life, there is a secret/hidden treasure to be uncovered which is a clue or harkens the victim to an enlightened state of personal growth.

Seek to understand and retain the precious lesson(s).

The motive is an important component in a betrayal, for some betrayal is intentional, while other forms of betrayal can be accidental or unintentional. This can cloud and complicate judging the part the antagonist played in victimizing the one who has been betrayed.

It can also complicate any hope of healing the relationship between two players in an interpersonal episode of betrayal. If the relationship is strong enough, there can be hope of healing, but trust is hard to rebuild once it is broken.

A significant breach of trust can possibly be forgiven, but the rebuilding of trust after a breach of trust will take time.

Once the healing process has been initiated, regardless of the impact and the players, a victim of betrayal may seek to opt out of the cycle of betrayal altogether.

This will sound like an impossibility at first blush, but given time to simmer, the idea may become more appealing over time.

There are a growing number of people amidst the awakening process who are bulletproof when it comes to victimization. These people can never be victimized, are less likely to judge others, and are more accepting of life’s natural unfolding, extracting every drop of goodness without being negatively affected by anything that might have previously considered “bad.”

If you keep an open mind, you can get there from here.

For more information, see: Trust Betrayal dot com.

Why Everything in My Life is Going Wrong

You know what I mean: That chaotic point in your life when you raise your hands, look up at the sky and ask yourself, “Why is everything in my life going wrong?” It’s frustrating and can be very painful to be at the place when I wonder why everything in my life is going wrong.

This crazy part of life, which doesn’t seem to make any sense to you at the time, is a lot less crazy than you might think.

If I want to know why everything in my life is going wrong, I know that it will probably be impossible to see from my perspective. When things are not making sense, when everything seems out of sorts, and it appears that nothing is going right, I know there’s something going on that I am not aware of.

It’s in these times when we need to get out of our heads, into our hearts, and do a love-scan of the area to see if we can get a sense of what is going on that is trying to get our attention.

It might be a good time to see a coach, consultant, or counselor (anyone from a friend, member of clergy, or professional; whatever suits you and/or your budget at the time) to help you see the bigger picture.

Perspective is everything. If I’m lost in the woods (or maybe I’ve made a comfortable spot for myself in the woods because I’m proactive, like that) I might not be able to see what is calling me just beyond the trees.

There may be tremendous opportunities well within my reach, but I can’t see it through the trees. So, I make due and find ways to be comfortable and happy where I am.

Not a bad thing, unless you have lured into complacency and forgotten about your journey to achieve your highest and best, or your decision to live a better life, your best life, and make the world a better place.

If so, there comes a time when the convenience of just maintaining the status quo no longer serves you, when the higher part of yourself, God, and all the angels know you are not rising to your calling. People may be suffering, and may even die, who are unable to hear your message.

Your message. That unique song that only you can sing, which can break through all the barriers and wounds of the past which might be suffocating the life of others who desperately need to hear it.

The more experience I have with life, its signs and signals, I can have a better idea of why everything in my life is going wrong. It probably means that I am not in alignment with my purpose, message, passion, and mission (PMPM) in life.

Life can get like that. You can get so focused on and burdened with the everyday affairs of life, which can be very overwhelming, making you feel like all you’re doing all day long is just putting out fires and hope to god you have enough energy to put out tomorrow’s fires.

If the fury of life gets too hectic it can feel so overwhelming and unmanageable that you might consider an early checkout. Many people, when they reach this chaotic juncture of life, volunteer to pull the plug, contemplate suicide, opting out of any potential benefit they may have been able to bring to the world.

It breaks my heart when someone isn’t able to see the immense value they can bring to the world. For every seven or eight suicide attempts, one of them wakes up to his or her calling, and one successfully completes his or her journey.

There are many reasons why someone might want to end his or her journey prematurely. The basic rationale is when the pain of being alive is greater than the relief from not having to suffer one more day, suicide may appear to be an attractive option.

Sometimes, even I might contemplate taking my life if I didn’t know why everything in my life is going wrong. Now I know why everything in my life is going wrong. It’s my wake-up call.

If only we all could know when it seems like nothing is going right, it might be a clear indication that something is wrong. Maybe you are in the wrong place, doing the wrong thing, when something far better is calling you away from what seems safe, comfortable, or (god forbid) “normal.”

You have a higher calling, and if it seems like nothing is going right, there’s a good chance that something far more amazing is beckoning you to join it somewhere outside your comfort zone.

If so, the sooner you are able to recognize it and start making the changes necessary to embrace your calling, your suffering will continue, and you will see even more things going wrong.

It’s up to you.

It’s time for a change. Most likely a big, uncomfortable change. You can do this. And you don’t have to do it alone.

Get a better perspective. Find out what’s just beyond your knowingness, and start making plans to move on, up and out of where you are into your more empowered and passionate self, achieving your highest and best.

Making Our Own Way to Love

Love is the doorway which leads to your best life and beyond.

It’s hard to imagine what is on the other side of the unknown.

As much as you might like to fantasize or think you have a full understanding of love, what love is, what love is not, you will never really know until you’ve basked in the fullness of true, authentic, unconditional love in all its power and glory.

Everyone’s journey to love and beyond is individual and unique to each person who seeks to discover the fullness and veracity of love.

When I run into people along my path to love and beyond, we might share a great many things in common, are able to communicate more deeply with an understanding about love and what love is and share many experiences which have commonalities. Even so, our journeys have been so incredibly different in so many ways.

It never ceases to amaze me how we all support, encourage, and nudge each other along, and end up crossing paths along the way. We all find our way to particular places, events, and thought patterns in time but have all arrived by completely different roadmaps.

I enjoy interacting with people who have found their way to similar mindsets who can share their stories and takeaways from their journey and see how it shares commonality and individual uniqueness in comparison to mine.

I am in awe at how the universe brings people together or helps them attain a similar conclusion via completely different paths.

The power of love is the common denominator. It overcomes all geographic distance, personality differences, economic histories, and places all people, places, things, events, and circumstances on a level playing field if your heart is open, and your soul is evolving.

I can feel when I have veered off-track when I feel bad. If I am afraid, feel oppressed, disrespected, or feel as though I have been victimized. If I feel like someone has abused or manipulated me, I know I am in need of a love adjustment.

Once fully repositioned in the power of love, I am impervious, can only see the love in those around me, and can find compassion for their position, even support them, wherever they are in their own evolution, or the lack thereof.

Only love has the power to overcome anything standing between you and the desires of your heart.

Unlike other venues in life, we who are on the path of personal evolution, do not have a hierarchy of control. No one is greater than another, yet together we all are evolving into that higher version of ourselves, and we’re all doing it in ways that are highly individualized and unique.

Each of us is making our own way to love. There is no right way to do it. There is no wrong way to evolve in love. There are infinite ways to evolve in love, and the one that is right for you, even though you may share similarities with others who are also in the process of love’s evolution, is vastly different and perfectly aligned with you and your journey.

While Human v424 has served us well (and especially the “powers that be,” if you can even continue to refer to them as such) in the past, this new, more highly evolved human, whose evolution we are a part of, is less likely to submit to being controlled and manipulated, like our more primitive peers.

All of this makes this critical stage of human evolution a bit more complicated. Much of the evolutionary process is very personal and private, hidden away from those who would dissuade us from allowing or encourage anyone to participate in such a nonsensical preoccupation.

Even though we are discouraged from making our own way to love, we persist, and more and more love abounds in our society, and as this power of love continues to grow, the system, by which we were controlled and manipulated by, becomes less and less sustainable.

The day is coming when the world we live in will no longer be able to exist. The power of love will continue to grow, and we will evolve into a world where fear and separation will no longer be the status quo, and we will be free to grow and expand individually and collectively.

So, keep on keeping on, and please feel free to reach out to me, and others, as we all encourage each other to take that next step into the new world which is anxiously awaiting our arrival.

We are all making our own way to love, and beyond…

See you at the Soulmate Wizardry event.

How to Release Pent-up Emotions

If you really want to live a better life, your best life and make the world a better place, you’re going to have to learn how to release pent-up emotions. Pent up emotions are highly destructive to the human body, leading to the deterioration of the immune system, resulting in more susceptibility to illness and disease. Pent up emotions are the leading cause of premature death.

How to Release Pent Up Emotions

All that suppressed emotional energy is like a ticking time bomb just waiting to explode. The pressure builds and builds until something has to give, and it’s your physiology which is compromised as you cannibalize your own life force just to make it another day.

A healthy human being finds a way to process energy in a flowing manner allowing the life force to flow to and through the body, refreshing and nourishing in a natural wave of life-sustaining current. Pent-up negative emotions block the natural flow of life and love energy which is healing and allows you to continue to grow and expand in ways only you can.

You need to find a way to release the pressure which builds over time, or else something very bad is going to happen to you or those around you who you care about.

There are many ways to release pent-up emotions. Some are destructive, like when you strike out at someone emotionally in an over-reactive response to something that would have otherwise been innocuous. Embarrassing as this explosive event might have been, you did experience some relief from those pent-up emotions, finding a way to save you from further deterioration.

Certainly, there are more productive ways to release pent-up emotions without having to compromise your circle of influence, potentially causing damage to your social network. If you keep up this destructive method of releasing emotional pressure, it won’t be long, and your friends and family will find other places to be.

Plus, you wouldn’t want your people to think of you as a toxic influence on their life, right?

I have been blessed to discover years ago that there are effective methods to release emotional blockages and to resume healthy energy flow. My path led me first to prayer, followed by Neuro-linguistic Programming, hypnotherapy, then to Reiki, among many other modalities to find healthy ways to let go and get back into flow.

How to Release Pent-Up Emotions

You know when you’re approaching your body’s need to release pressure when you start getting edgy, feeling uncertain, anxious, stressed out, fearful, suspicious, or paranoid. Your subconscious is looking for danger signs to target for release. Any slightest indication of something appearing not to be in perfect order will trigger your (over-reactive) defensive alarm system, initiating an attack with the veracity of a kill-or-be-killed response.

These feelings of uneasiness or fear are your early warning system, notifying you that an explosive event is eminent. Knowing this, you can prepare for more healthy alternatives for releasing your pent-up emotions.
Therapy is a good method. You don’t have to seek out a paid professional, a good friend you can trust, who will allow you to express your emotions without judgment will work. Even an anonymous stranger who doesn’t know you (you don’t have to reveal your identity) can be an angel in human form, who will listen to your story, allowing you to in effect release some of your emotional pressure. You can walk away and let it go.

If you are in your body’s natural energy flow of love, memories and the emotional baggage which accompanies them is able to move about freely through your body, to and through your consciousness and out of your body without having to find places in the body to hide, where the emotional wounds fester, causing the deterioration of the immune system, body systems, and organs.

Accept

To start letting go you must accept that things are just as they are, and even though someone else’s actions or reactions feel like they are focused on you, they never are. When people act or react inappropriately, it is only an expression of their need to express and release their pent-up emotions, it has very little to do with you, except that they know no other way to release the emotional pressure which is causing them discomfort and pain.

Realize that things are just as they are and feel free to express yourself without judgment and realize that you have no need to judge anyone else who is only doing the best they can, just like you. (We’re all in this life, together.)

Allow

Allow all emotional states to be in all people as well as within yourself. Now that you know that your bad feelings are only your pent-up emotions looking for release, you can let them be, allowing yourself to fully feel the emotions and let them express themselves naturally. No need to resist or deny your feelings. If you need to cry, cry. If you need to scream, scream.

Activate

Take action to activate positive energy flow in and through your biology. Engage yourself in any activity which makes your heart sing. Resist stagnation by gently encouraging blood flow and oxygenation of your body. Do a little light exercise to increase your biological flow and your energetic flow will follow.

Absorb

Let yourself soak in the ideas surrounding the basis for your feelings, seeking to understand what it might be like to be in the other person’s shoes, to have lived their life which led to whatever is the source of your discontent. Seek to understand empathetically with compassion, not taking it personally, and let it be. For more severe feelings of angst, you can initiate a form of meditation or prayer.

Appreciate

Find a way (or ways) to use this reminder that the most powerful energy for healing is love. Do something that allows you to appreciate this life, to be grateful, and express compassion and love. When you think of this event or anything associated to it, snuggle a pet, do something nice for someone else, volunteer, or make a donation to a worthy cause.

Take action to memorialize your allowance of “what is” by expressing gratitude and appreciation.

If you feel bad, do something good, and you’ll feel better.

Absolve

Absolution sets you free. If you can understand that the source of your ill feelings really doesn’t have anything to do with you (even though it feels like it was directed at you) you can empathize with the source’s need to do, say, or initiate whatever transpired which resulted in your feeling bad. You may have only been acting as the shock absorber for this person, which helped him or her release some of their own pent-up emotions.

From this perspective of understanding, you can find the love within yourself to forgive this person without judgment or the need to feel sorry (which would be condescending) for him or her.
There is no need for the other person to apologize to you for no crime was actually committed. You do not need to communicate your forgiveness to the other person (because they may not be able to understand it) for this forgiveness is for you, from your heart, filled with love and compassion.

Also, remember to be kind and loving enough to absolve yourself from any wrongdoing, or for harboring bad thoughts or discontent about this. Sometimes feelings may be pushed down and repressed for many years, since very early childhood.

Love and forgive yourself.

And finally,

Let it Go

No need to belabor it. True forgiveness has no need to revisit or reflect on this event, except to appreciate the hidden treasure or lesson which may have been hidden within it.

You are love and you are free.