Blog | David M Masters

Quantum Self vs. Average Self

There is a difference between the quantum self and the, shall we say, “normal self.” By normal self, I mean no disrespect. At this stage of human evolution there is a small but growing number of quantum selves emerging. As the human race continues to evolve the quantum selves will continue to emerge in the minds of humans, until one day, all of humanity will have evolved likewise.

Far from standard, because human beings are so diverse and no two of them are alike, this process of evolution can look varied, and at risk of oversimplifying or stereotyping, I have observed some generally markedly interestingly comparable characteristics, such as,

Average Self

Quantum Self

Dualistic Perception:

The average everyday self tends to perceive reality through a dualistic lens, seeing things as separate and distinct entities.

Non-Dualistic Perception:

The quantum self embraces a non-dualistic perception, recognizing the interconnectedness and unity of all things.

Materialistic Focus:

There is often a predominant focus on material possessions, external achievements, and societal expectations.

Holistic Awareness:

There is an expanded awareness that goes beyond materialism, valuing personal growth, spiritual well-being, and the interconnectedness of mind, body, and spirit.

Limited Belief System:

The average everyday self may adhere to conventional beliefs and societal norms without questioning their validity or exploring alternative perspectives.

Open-Mindedness:

The quantum self actively explores and questions existing beliefs and societal norms, seeking deeper understanding and alternative perspectives.

Ego-Driven Motivations:

Actions and decisions are primarily driven by the ego, seeking personal gain, recognition, or security.

Higher Purpose and Authenticity:

Motivations are aligned with a higher purpose, driven by authenticity, personal growth, and making a positive impact on the world.

Linear Thinking:

Thought processes are often linear and logical, following established patterns and conforming to societal structures.

Quantum Thinking:

Thought processes are flexible, nonlinear, and capable of embracing paradoxes and multiple possibilities simultaneously.

Reactive Behavior:

Responses to situations are mainly reactive, influenced by external circumstances and conditioned patterns of behavior.

Conscious Response:

The quantum self responds consciously to situations, making choices based on inner wisdom, intuition, and a deep understanding of interconnectedness.

Limited Conscious Awareness:

The average everyday self operates predominantly from a surface-level awareness, unaware of the deeper layers of consciousness and spiritual dimensions.

Expanded Conscious Awareness:

The quantum self operates from an expanded state of consciousness, tapping into higher levels of awareness, intuition, and spiritual insights.

External Validation:

Seeking validation and approval from others is a common trait, often relying on external sources for a sense of self-worth.

Self-Validation:

The quantum self finds inner validation and self-acceptance, recognizing the inherent worthiness and embracing authenticity.

Fear-Based Mindset:

The average everyday self may be driven by fear, seeking security, and avoiding risks or uncertainties.

Love-Based Mindset:

Love and compassion are guiding principles, transcending fear and embracing growth, connection, and the inherent potential within oneself and others.

Separation Consciousness:

There is a sense of separation from others and the world, perceiving oneself as an isolated individual rather than an interconnected part of a larger whole.

Unity Consciousness:

There is a deep recognition of the interconnectedness of all beings and the oneness of existence, fostering empathy, and compassion for all life.

Linear Time Perception:

Time is perceived as linear and sequential, with a focus on past regrets or future anxieties, often neglecting the present moment.

Non-Linear Time Perception:

Time is perceived as non-linear, recognizing the power of the present moment, and embracing the concept of past, present, and future coexisting simultaneously.

Note that these characteristics represent a spectrum of possibilities. Individuals can exhibit a combination of attributes from both the average everyday self and the quantum self, and their positioning on this spectrum may vary at different stages of their personal growth and self-awareness journey. The key is to cultivate self-awareness, embrace curiosity, and actively explore the quantum self’s transformative potential.

Help Us Understand: What Does “Woke” Mean to You or Anybody?

It appears that the word “Woke” or wokeness means different things to different people. So, depending on who you think or what your belief system might be, you may have a unique perspective on what it means to be woke.

Here are some assumptive definitions of “woke” according to general appearances based only on my observations as I try to unravel what it means to be woke, and I’ll admit, I am far more confused about wokeness than when I first started investigating what the meaning of woke might be.

So far, this is what I’ve come up with, please let me know if you have input or corrections to be made as we all try to figure out what woke means according to whom.

1. 1. 1. 1. Progressive Activists
        
        Progressive activists often view being “woke” as a positive and necessary mindset. They see it as an awareness of social injustices, including systemic racism, gender inequality, and economic disparities. They believe in using their voices and platforms to advocate for marginalized communities and push for social change.
      2. Conservative Critics
        
        Conservative critics may view “wokedness” with skepticism or concern. They might see it as a divisive ideology that promotes political correctness, suppresses free speech, and emphasizes identity politics over individual responsibility. They may argue that it threatens traditional values and undermines personal freedoms.
      3. Social Justice Advocates
        
        Social justice advocates embrace the concept of being “woke” as a commitment to addressing societal inequalities and promoting justice. They focus on issues like racial justice, LGBTQ+ rights, gender equality, and economic redistribution. They strive to create a more inclusive and equitable society through activism, education, and policy advocacy.
      4. Mainstream Media
        
        The mainstream media may cover the concept of “wokeness” from various angles. Some outlets might emphasize its positive aspects, highlighting movements for social change and awareness of systemic issues. Others may take a more critical stance, examining potential excesses, controversies, or conflicts arising from the ideology.
      5. Cultural Conservatives
        
        Cultural conservatives may perceive “wokedness” as a threat to traditional values and norms. They may argue that it promotes radical social change, erodes religious freedoms, and imposes ideological conformity. They might resist what they see as the undue influence of “wokeness” in education, media, and public discourse.
      6. Academia and Intellectual Circles
        
        In academia and intellectual circles, being “woke” may relate to critical theories and social analysis. Scholars and thinkers might engage with concepts such as intersectionality, cultural appropriation, and privilege to understand power dynamics and advocate for societal transformation.
      7. Corporate and Marketing Realm
        
        In the corporate and marketing world, being “woke” can sometimes be seen as a branding strategy or a way to appeal to socially conscious consumers. Companies may adopt inclusive policies, support social causes, and use “wokeness” as a marketing tool to enhance their public image and attract a certain demographic.
      8. Libertarians
        
        Libertarians might approach “wokedness” with caution, as they prioritize individual liberty and limited government intervention. They may be concerned about the potential for “wokeness” to infringe on personal freedoms, particularly when it comes to freedom of speech or free markets.
      9. Traditionalists
        
        Traditionalists, who value preserving longstanding customs and beliefs, may view “wokeness” as a departure from established traditions. They might see it as a challenge to social norms, moral values, and cultural heritage, and may express concerns about the erosion of societal cohesion.
      10. Identity Politics Critics
        
        Some individuals critical of identity politics may perceive “wokeness” as an ideology that places undue emphasis on identity categories such as race, gender, or sexuality. They may argue that this approach fosters division, suppresses individuality, and inhibits open dialogue on important issues.
      11. Skeptics
        
        Skeptics may question the authenticity or effectiveness of “wokeness” as a meaningful approach to addressing societal challenges. They might express concerns about virtue signaling or performative activism and argue for a more pragmatic and evidence-based approach to social issues.
      12. Cultural Progressives
        
        Cultural progressives may embrace “wokeness” as a transformative force for societal progress. They may advocate for dismantling systems of oppression, promoting inclusivity, and challenging ingrained biases. They see it as an opportunity to create a more just and equitable society.
      13. Populist Movements
        
        Populist movements, which often emerge in response to perceived elite control, may view “wokeness” as an out-of-touch ideology championed by the political and cultural establishment. They might criticize it as disconnected from the concerns of ordinary people and a distraction from economic or national issues.
      14. Individualists
        
        Individualists might be skeptical of “wokeness” if they perceive it as prescribing collective identities or enforcing conformity. They may emphasize personal responsibility, freedom of choice, and self-determination, and question whether “wokeness” allows sufficient room for individual agency.
      15. LGBTQ+ Community
        
        Members of the LGBTQ+ community might view “wokeness” as a call for recognition, acceptance, and equal rights. They may emphasize the importance of challenging heteronormativity, cisnormativity, and advocating for social and legal protections for LGBTQ+ individuals.
      16. Disability Rights Activists
        
        Disability rights activists may approach “wokeness” by focusing on inclusivity, accessibility, and challenging ableism. They might advocate for dismantling barriers, ensuring equal opportunities, and promoting disability rights and representation.
      17. Environmentalists
        
        Environmentalists may see being “woke” as an awakening to the urgent need for environmental conservation and sustainability. They might emphasize the importance of addressing climate change, protecting ecosystems, and promoting environmentally conscious practices.
      18. Immigrant Communities
        
        Immigrant communities may view “wokeness” through the lens of cultural identity, immigrant rights, and social integration. They might advocate for fair immigration policies, combatting xenophobia, and celebrating the contributions of immigrants to society.
      19. Artists and Creatives
        
        Artists and creatives might embrace “wokeness” as a source of inspiration for social commentary and cultural critique. They may use their creative mediums to challenge the status quo, provoke conversations, and bring awareness to social issues.
      20. Global Activists
        
        Global activists, concerned with human rights and global justice, may see “wokeness” as a call for solidarity across borders. They might advocate for addressing global inequalities, promoting fair trade, challenging neocolonial practices, and supporting international cooperation.
      21. Religious Progressives
        
        Some religious progressives may interpret “wokeness” as aligning with their faith values. They might see it as a means to actively live out principles of justice, compassion, and inclusivity derived from their religious teachings. They may view it as a call to address systemic issues within society.
      22. Catholicism
        
        Within Catholicism, being “woke” may involve a commitment to social justice, advocating for the marginalized, and addressing systemic inequalities. It may include working towards the common good, promoting human dignity, and addressing issues such as poverty, racism, and immigration.
      23. Protestantism
        
        Protestant denominations encompass a broad range of beliefs, but many may view being “woke” as embracing social activism, pursuing racial reconciliation, and engaging in efforts to alleviate societal injustices. This may involve working towards equality, addressing poverty, and advocating for the rights of the oppressed.
      24. Evangelical Christianity
        
        Evangelicals may have diverse perspectives on “wokeness.” Some may embrace the concept as a call to address social issues through biblical principles, such as caring for the poor, standing against injustice, and promoting Christian values in society. Others may be skeptical of certain aspects they perceive as promoting secular ideologies conflicting with their faith.
      25. Islam
        
        In Islam, being “woke” may involve a commitment to social justice, fairness, and compassion. It may entail advocating for the rights of the oppressed, standing against discrimination, and promoting social equality based on Islamic principles of justice and mercy.
      26. Judaism
        
        Within Judaism, being “woke” may align with the concept of tikkun olam, which means repairing or healing the world. It may involve pursuing social justice, working towards equality, and engaging in acts of compassion and righteousness to address societal issues and bring about positive change.
      27. Hinduism
        
        Within Hinduism, being “woke” may encompass practicing ahimsa (non-violence) and working towards social harmony and justice. It may involve recognizing and addressing social inequalities, advocating for the welfare of all beings, and promoting a sense of interconnectedness and empathy.
      28. Buddhism
        
        In Buddhism, being “woke” may involve developing mindfulness and awareness of suffering in the world. It may include actively working towards reducing suffering, promoting equality, and cultivating compassion for all beings.
      29. Sikhism
        
        In Sikhism, being “woke” may relate to the principles of seva (selfless service) and equality. It may involve actively engaging in community service, fighting against discrimination, and working towards a just and inclusive society.
      30. Jainism
        
        In Jainism, being “woke” may revolve around the concepts of ahimsa (non-violence) and aparigraha (non-possessiveness). It may entail advocating for non-violence in all aspects of life, including social justice, environmental preservation, and the pursuit of equanimity.
      31. Native American
        
        Native American religious and spiritual contexts, being “woke” or embodying “wokeness” may be understood as being in harmony with the natural world, acknowledging the interconnection of all life forms, and maintaining a deep respect for ancestral wisdom and traditions. It may involve recognizing the importance of land stewardship, honoring one’s heritage, and engaging in communal rituals and ceremonies to foster spiritual and cultural growth. “Wokeness” might also encompass a reverence for the spiritual significance of nature, the elements, and animal spirits, and a commitment to preserving indigenous knowledge and cultural practices.
      32. Shamanism
        
        In the context of shamanism, being “woke” could entail having a heightened spiritual awareness, perceiving the unseen energies and dimensions, and striving for personal transformation and self-realization. It may involve engaging in rituals, ceremonies, or vision quests to deepen one’s connection to the spiritual realm and to gain insights into the self and the community.

Of course, you could be a member of any of these groups and have your own idea about what woke means to you, but remember this is just “in general.”

I apologize in advance, as this is the best I’ve been able to do so far, and I would greatly appreciate any input you might have to better understand what woke means to whom. At least, this is a start in an effort to find understanding. Please add your thoughts or corrections below.Thank you in advance for your help in our all having a better understanding of wokeness.

Psychopath Victims Toolkit A Guide for Victims of Psychopath

As the title suggests, author David M Masters, takes a different path in the Psychopath Victims Toolkit, as it was not intended for psychopaths or people who would like to know more about psychopaths, or those who are as fascinated by the characteristics of psychopaths, as most of us are. No this is an offering specifically intended to be used as A Guide for Victims of Psychopaths and Those That Serve Them. More specifically, this work is dedicated to the victims and those who offer support for the victim’s recovery, not those who victimize them.

Although enforcing accountability consequences for crimes committed by the psychopaths is briefly addressed, as is the victims’ desire for revenge, the status of the victim while being exploited by a psychopath, separating oneself from the psychopathic stranglehold, and supporting the victim through the recovery process is the goal.

The author’s goal is to first and foremostly see the victim as first protected, then supported, followed by a variety of options that can be of assistance in the psychopath victim’s recovery.

Masters asserts that just as there are such a wide variety of psychopathic styles, variety is also shared among survivors of psychopathic abuse. What both psychopaths and their victims share is vast uniqueness. Just as there are no two psychopaths that are alike, the same goes for the victims.

So, there is no cookie-cutter, one size fits all answer for psychopaths or their victims.

Each case is unique, and each victim, while sharing some similarities with other victims. Each will require his or her own customized approach to the recovery process.

That being said, unsurprisingly, The Psychopath Victims Toolkit, A Guide for Victims of Psychopaths and Those That Serve Them is a hit with the unintended audience of psychopaths as well. The psychopaths who read this material find some of the material contained herein as abhorrible, and they have attempted to discredit this work and to personally attack the author, which does nothing more than to prove his point.

To reduce this book to its simplest form,

You will find psychopaths in all stations and levels of society and life. The majority of them are unlikely to intimidate or abuse you, some might even focus their unique skillset so as to provide you with protection or a better life. The predatory psychopaths are to get you. If not you, someone else, and they will do everything in their power to succeed at whatever it is they desire at any given moment.

As a victim of psychopathic manipulation or abuse, you are not responsible for this. You were sought out and preyed upon by a psychopath because you served a purpose for the predatory psychopath. Early detection and taking action to separate yourself from the predator are of primary importance. Raise your awareness and proceed with caution.

Then from a sacred safe place, you, the psychopath victim, can do your work to remain as safe and secure as possible to conduct the work of taking your life back, healing from the damage done, recovering, and growing to a better personal station in life.

All this can be possible with the tips, tools, and techniques suggested in this text.

If you are in the role of supporting victims of psychopaths, this reference will help you better understand the victim, enabling you to offer a higher degree of understanding and support to the victim without judging or adding to the abuse the victim has already received at the hands of the psychopath.

About the Author:

David M Masters appears to be a motivational speaker, author, and life coach. His focus seems to be on personal development, self-improvement, and achieving success in various aspects of life. He offers guidance and support to individuals seeking to improve their lives, find their purpose, and overcome challenges.

The basis of David M Masters’ philosophy seems to revolve around empowering individuals to take control of their lives and create positive changes. He emphasizes the importance of personal growth, self-reflection, and transforming limiting beliefs into empowering ones. Masters believes in the potential for individuals to shape their reality, achieve their goals, and find fulfillment.

People who might be attracted to David M Masters for assistance are likely individuals who are seeking personal transformation, motivation, and guidance in various areas of their lives. This could include individuals looking to improve their relationships, careers, finances, or overall well-being. People attracted to his philosophy may be interested in personal development, self-discovery, and unlocking their full potential.

Our Children are Dying of Accidents Violence Suicide Disease

Our children are dying from accidents, violence, suicide, and infectious disease? When you take a look at what is killing our young people, you find that children, boys, and girls, die from accidents, violence, suicide, and infectious disease, and since 2020, though in ages 15-24, there has been higher mortality among boys and less for girls in that age group.

Accidents have been the number one killer of children in the United States since the sixties. Why are Our Children Dying from accidents, violence, suicide, and infectious disease?

Top Causes of Child Deaths

Pre-pandemic
1. Accidents
2. Violence
3. Suicide
4. Infectious Disease

Post-pandemic
1. Suicide
2. Violence
3. Accidents
4. Infectious Disease

Some common risk factors that may contribute to suicidal behavior include

Mental health conditions

depression
anxiety
bipolar disorder
schizophrenia

as well as

substance abuse
trauma
stress
living conditions

It is important to note that not everyone who experiences these risk factors will attempt suicide, and not everyone who attempts suicide has these risk factors.

One teenage suicide survivor recently told me,

“There is no love in the world.

Only Hate. So, what’s the point?”

Is it true? Is this sentiment common? Are our young people taking their own lives because there is no love in the world? Because there is only hate? Ergo, they have no desire to live in a world like that.

I am not saying this is the only reason that youth in the United States take their lives. Today, I only have this one example. Drilling down for more information gave me more details to add to the mix.

I’m lonely.

We all know that since the COVID-19 epidemic and lockdown, isolation and depression are on the rise, and they go hand-in-hand. Loneliness and depression are the big players in suicides, or in this case, suicide attempts.

Haters Everywhere

Hate is running rampant as our society moves toward intolerant treatment of issues and people in black or white, it’s this or that or you are (enter derogatory term) i.e., bad, evil, lost, stupid, should be ashamed of yourself, punished, or put to death.

Oh, and this youth noticed that there is a great deal of inconsistency or hypocrisy among those who are quick to judge and hate others. Observant, smart kid.

Intolerance

In more practical terms, still living in the parent’s home, the parents are intolerant of the teen’s friends, even their belief systems among themselves are a source of contention, and if the teen dares to defy the parents’ belief systems, there will be hell to pay.

So much intolerance and dysfunction and this teen is finding little relief in the idea that most families in the United States are in the same boat. This child would like to live a better life but can see no chance at the present.

This child does not believe in love. If love did exist, it would be a far-off fantasy reserved for animated stories for immature children, not within reach due to the overwhelming proliferation of dissent, discontent, discord, and “my way or the highway” mentality.

Hate

If nothing else, hate is a huge prevalent force in the world today, you see it in all communications: this country hates that country, this political party hates that political party, the vegans hate the carnivores, the healthy hate the disabled, the churchgoers hate the unchurched, average people hate the pretty people, the poor hate the rich, the taxpayers hate how their taxes are being spent, it goes on and on ad infinitum.

Where is the Love?

It cannot be seen or comprehended. Only fear and judgment are readily apparent in the world today.

No Reason to Live

“So, what’s the point?” Exactly. So many who have taken their own lives had come to the conclusion that

Life was not worth living

There is no reason to live

Or

The pain of living another day was just too much to handle

If there is no point in living life on this planet at this time, why not end it now?

This is not the world we should be presenting to our children.

I don’t know about you, but I am ashamed. I am not ashamed of my peers, for they are only doing the best they can with what they have. I am ashamed of myself, that I have let the world get to a place that looks like this to our children, and to their children.

Our children need a reason to live.

I’m sorry.

This place looks like this right now. Let me tell you, there are so many reasons to live in this time and place.

Please forgive me.

There is so much more to this world than meets the eye.

Thank you.

You, and the bright future that is calling to you right now, bless me, and it will you, too. You give me a reason to live, I can only hope to reciprocate in kind.

I love you.

And love? It is everywhere, even though it is not easily found, and you will see so much more of it from me.

I will take the responsibility to show you this hidden world because I believe in you.

Massive Polarization Is Google the Culprit?

Interestingly, I have a couple in my office with relationship issues. While they were conversing, they came to a fork in the road. “How about this?” says the husband, “Let’s Google it.” Both of them, the husband and the wife typed the same query into Google’s search engine and reviewed their results.

Based on their own individual Google search results, they were now equipped for a full-on battle of completely opposing views, thanks to Google.

In Google’s defense, Google is smart. It is nearly sentient. It knows each user, the device they are using, where they are located, and who is in or nearby their current vicinity. What communication languages, formats, providers, and locations they use. More importantly, what they like and what they don’t like about anything down to the most minute detail.

In this case, Google knows that the husband is likely to click on Google search results that will align with the opinions of his macho friends, while his wife is more likely to click on more positive links that reflect the ideas of her friends that see themselves as peace-loving but highly opinionated about what is right and what is wrong.

Same query: Opposing results.

Still, again in the defense of Google, Google is personalizing search results based on the user. That is hugely smart.

On the other hand, Google is perpetuating the one thing that I think is the biggest problem in our society today. Separation. The polar opposition of individuals in the proximity of each other.

Before the proliferation of Google and its manipulation of data and the people who access said data, people self-sequestered themselves into groups of like-mindedness. You could pretty much tell that if a person lived here, or there, they probably had a particular political view or bent.

Here, today, is a perfect example of two people in the most intimate of relationships, almost at each other’s throats, and here I am, watching the entire thing play out before my very eyes.

And this is what is destroying the United States if not the Internet-connected world as well. There is more angst and hate in the world than ever before.

Why?

Not because of Google, though Google does help to feed the fire, for whatever reason.

The biggest problem in the world today, is Judgment. I’m right, you’re wrong.

(Here comes the coding IF/THEN/ELSE routine.)

IF you don’t agree with me, you are wrong.

THEN I must do everything in my power to convert you to my way of thinking because you are wrong.

ELSE you are my enemy and you must be made to suffer some unfortunate fate, if not death, which may be the preferred price to pay for not thinking like me.

Oh, and it gets worse, THE GOLDEN STANDARD, “If you see someone not thinking like you and you do nothing, you are just as guilty as the faulty thinker, and you, too, must be outcast or punished accordingly.”

As an Olympian Life Coach, when I meet with a client, the client does not come into my world. Before the client ever enters the building, I’ve created a safe sanctuary, a sacred space, for that client to come in and be seated. Then I enter the room.

When I enter the room, I humbly and respectfully enter the client’s world. There is nothing for the client to defend. I have no preconceived expectations or judgments. I have respect and honor this person to be who he or she is at whatever stage of life he or she may be in.

I avail myself to the client to help him or her make his or her way through life, and in the best case scenario for me, because this is my mission in life, to help him or her achieve his or her highest and best, and make the world a better place.

That is all. I don’t have any agenda. No path to make them follow. They are the masters of their own lives and missions. My only function is to assist them so that they can accomplish whatever they might like to in this life.

And having this kind of attitude, which also carries over into all other areas of my life as well, I get access to the greatest data and information, that no one (or very few) people in the world ever get to know. My world is so diverse and colorful, I am utterly amazed and gracious every day.

Granted, some of the data, I could do without the knowledge of, but nonetheless, I have a better understanding of how diverse life can be, and I know things that would never make it to the media. I also feel as though I am blessed to be in this (maybe not so) enviable position.

Still, here I am, surrounded by, “YOU DON’T THINK LIKE ME, SO

- - - “get thee behind me.” Or alternatively, “go away.”
    - “I hate you!”
    - “you lost your job. Ha!”
    - “you can’t eat here!”
    - “you are not entitled to a helping hand.”
    - “you cannot attend.”
    - “you can’t play.”
    - “you cannot be healed.”
    - “you will go to hell.”
    - “you must die.”

I see the multicolored fanciful beauty of a loving world that welcomed others with open arms, turned into a monochrome planet of THIS or THAT or ELSE, and it breaks my heart.

On that day, I looked out at the world and said, “I am sorry, there is no love in them.” And I wept.

But I tried, and I will never stop, while I still have the breath of life in me.

There is hope. Not only for this couple, but the world.

And there are others that believe… are you one of them?

Forgiveness and Judgment

To forgive or not to forgive, should not be the question. If Jesus or God is who They say They are, then They are the only ones with the right to truly exercise frue forgiveness and judgment. But we are taught to forgive others for their wrongs against us. In this case, forgiveness is for the forgiver to feel better about the wrongness they feel about the one they feel has wronged them.

What if the person who acted wrongly, offended, betrayed, or otherwise made you feel victimized didn’t actually do anything malicious to you? What then?

For instance, I live in the Pacific Northwest where we enjoy a certain amount of natural wildlife with which we share the environment. I heard a story that a cougar had been spotted lurking around a predominant neighborhood in an upscale community nearby. Radio and media alerted the city that a cougar had been spotted and to take special precautions.

Around this time, a mother playing with her young son in the fenced yard went inside to move the laundry from the washer to the dryer. When she returned, the boy was gone. There was blood on the grass, and it appeared that the cat had followed its natural instincts.

The community gunned up, hunted down the cougar, and ascertained that the cougar was the culprit. A truly tragic story.

But who was wrong? Obviously not the child who was an innocent victim. The mother? The cougar?

Certainly, the mother and the neighbors assumed the cougar was wrong. But the cougar is a cougar. Yes, no doubt it was a tragedy, but that’s what cougars do. No, they don’t usually go around attacking children, but they do prey on living food, the easier the food is to get, the quicker they satisfy their hunger.

Not unlike your pet cat. If your pet cat sees a mouse, it is fair game, it can be fun or food or both fun and food. A wounded bird is even better.

In the case of the cougar and the child? It is easy to jump to the conclusion that the cougar is the offender, and the neighbors were the judge and jury, as they took matters into their own hands. Justice, as it were, was served. The cougar paid the price for its sins with its life.

The mother may someday wonder if she should forgive the cougar, or pray to Jesus or God that the sinning cougar is forgiven. But did the cougar sin?

No. The cougar just did what cougars do, what they were born to do. Did the cougar extend its practices beyond reasonable boundaries? Yes. Doing so may have put the cougar at additional risk, for which the cougar did pay the price.

But the cougar was just a cougar.

So it is, when someone commits a crime, possibly any crime. If the perpetrator is a cougar, could they have done anything else besides commit said crime? Maybe not. May he or she be just a cougar? It’s all they instinctively know to do. They have a hunger or a yearning to do something, and they do whatever they need to do to satisfy it. Just like the cougar.

If I have been offended by someone, another person, and I feel victimized, did that offender purposely intend to hurt me, or was he or she just doing the only thing they knew how to tend to themselves?

Are these offenders just doing the best they can with what they have?

I know I’m not perfect. I’ve hurt people’s feelings while in the act of doing the best I could with what I had. I didn’t even know that I was hurting anyone. Yet here it is. I can clearly see now in retrospect, that I did inadvertently offend someone in a manner that had never occurred to me while I was about the business of doing the best I could with what I had.

Should I Ask for Forgiveness?

If I am aware of my transgression, yes. I feel an obligation to appeal to that person and ask him or her for forgiveness, even if I was unaware of my transgression when it occurred because I never intended to do that. And I am ashamed of myself for not being more aware that someone else might have been hurt in my doing the best I could with what I had.

Should I Expect Someone Else to Ask Me for Forgiveness?

There was a time when I felt that would be appropriate when I thought that if someone hurt me in some way that I was owed an apology, or begged for my forgiveness for their sin. Later, I realized that forgiveness was a God issue, and not a “me” issue. So, I let go of that expectation.

I might still like an apology, but I wouldn’t expect it. Especially if the offender was a cougar.

Anyone Could be a Cougar

What if the person who offended or victimized me was a cougar? A cougar could take almost any shape or human form. A drug dealer, addict, drunk driver, lawyer, judge, doctor, neighbor, friend, spouse, sibling, or priest.

Anyone could be a cougar. Just doing the best they can with what they have. Nonetheless, a cougar. Even me. And like the cougar, if I offend the wrong person at the wrong place and time, I too may have to pay the price for doing so.

Superiority of Judgment

Yet, we feel so superior that we would expect to have the right to be asked for forgiveness and feel as though we have the right and power to offer such forgiveness. So, we judge them, until they have paid the price for offending us.

Then I am reminded of a Jesus story about a woman who had been accused of adultery. The self-righteous Pharisees were standing around her with a fistful of rocks ready to execute their brand of justice when Jesus interrupted them.

Let He Who Is Without Sin Cast the First Stone

Were the Pharisees authorized to execute this action in John 8? Were they following Jewish law? Pretty much (though there were some concerns that possibly they may not have had all their ducks in a row at the time the punishment was to be delivered by the law. Certainly, all the players did not appear to be present as the law may have suggested).

Did the Pharisees have hidden sins? Apparently. When Jesus challenged them, they drops their rocks and walked away.

Were the Pharisees cougars?

Jesus did not condemn her and simply told her to go and sin no more. Maybe she was a cougar. She was the only person that Jesus told to change her life, and I think that was because she was in so much trouble with the overseers that they intended to kill her for her misdeeds, and maybe He might not be there on her behalf, the next time. Like the advice I might give to a repeat offender, especially in my state where we have a three-strikes rule.

In Matthew 7, Jesus says not to judge lest we be judged, and if we judge someone harshly, we will be judged likewise. Then he asks how can you help a brother with a splinter in his eye when your own eye is blocked by lumber?

Good point. Right?

I like Jesus’ examples because He loved many people and had a heart for those who were less fortunate, most likely unworthy, and of questionable character, and His influence on their lives was undeniable.

The price of sin is death (ultimately) but Jesus by His death and resurrection was the sacrifice by which we all have forgiveness for our transgressions, and claim the right to life more meaningful and long-lasting (eternal) than any of us might have been entitled to otherwise.

When we judge and are so self-righteous to think we are authorized to do so, are we not nullifying the words of Jesus or the perfection of His work on the cross?

These days, I would not run to usurp His authority.

Is it polite to forgive? Yes. Would it be nice if someone apologized or asked for forgiveness? Yes.

Should we expect or demand it?

From a cougar?

In this respect, forgiveness may be required by people who may not understand the divinity of all things, though being willing to let go and let God work out the details, especially if someone is a cougar, may lead to the higher road to travel through this life.

After all, aren’t we all just doing the best we can with what we have?

Something to think about…

Seek First to Understand

Many years ago, when I was being trained for counseling there was an impetus to spend the first few sessions to understand where a client was coming from to establish a baseline, then came along Stephen Covey with his 5^th Habit: Seek First to Understand, and this concept of understanding has evolved in my practice as I have as well.

Initially, “understanding” was basically an assessment tool, after which one would prepare a series of successive programs to guide a client from where they were at the initial consultation to where one’s training had determined was the proper destination for the client.

Only after years of practice did I begin to see that no manner of training was suitable for guiding each client to his or her highest and best. This could only be determined by challenging the client to reach deep inside and discover his or her own path and destination. In doing so, it became clear that there was no one size fits all solution, and every client was different. After a time, this increasingly made more sense to me.

If you are in the counseling or “help” business in any manner, shape, or form, it is easy to have preconceived ideas about what is generally, if not specifically, the best path that anyone should follow. Your drive might be to “fix” someone. That is to assert your perspective over that of the person you are trying to help. Instead, consider a deeper level of empathetic understanding.

Time and experience have humbled me and taught me that my opinions may not be the best for an individual, for if any given person is truly individual then the path they travel will be just as unique and individual as he or she is.

This really changes the emphasis on understanding and takes it to a new, empathetically deeper level, because now you have to take an entire life into consideration, and while your training may have equipped you to look for clues and probable suggestions for solutions, you should be ready for anything.

One thing that has helped me in this structural reframe is to allow the client to be right in all things and allow them to adjust their sense of rightness as we progress in a supportive coaching arrangement. I really try to get a sense of what it is like to walk in their shoes as they live through their life.

In retrospect, I am somewhat ashamed of the sense of superiority that I exercised with clients in the past, when I approached my work with clients as more structured and rigid. I have a much higher success rate based on the increased connection due to this increased understanding of a client.

Honoring where they are at any given moment, without judgment, standard recommendations, or preconceived outcomes.

My motivation is highly love-inspired because that is who I am. I sincerely and lovingly regard my clients and support them through whatever their process may be. To encourage and walk alongside the clients to discover where this journey leads.

I am not likely to tell a client what to do these days but am probably going to make many suggestions, giving them many options to choose for themselves what is the best door to open along the way.

This means allowing the individuals to be comfortable in their world whatever it might look like and work from there.

This has allowed me to have the most entertaining and expansive experiences and has enabled me to have access to their innermost thoughts and data provided by the people that I work with that I would never have had access to otherwise.

All from truly seeking to first understand, allowing them to be or believe anything they want, and genuinely accepting and loving them through their process, supporting them as they find their way to new levels of personal and spiritual growth.

In the end, the client is blessed. Still, I feel that I am even more blessed because I was able to be there in those most precious of moments when perceptions shifted, epiphanies were experienced, and a new life metamorphosis happened before my very eyes.

Keep Em Separated

That is the entire agenda, to keep em separated. And I’d say it was a hidden agenda if it wasn’t so obvious. But was isn’t obvious for someone would appear to be hidden to someone else. It all starts soon after entry to the planet, especially if you are born into a family with other offspring.

The oldest sibling asserts his or her superiority, or the youngest exercises his or her ability to manipulate “the system” for his or her benefit.

“Mom! She’s touching me!” and endless cries of judgment, unfairness, victimization, and disrespect, then the cries for assistance and the attempt to demand justice and equality. “Stop him! He got the bigger half!” In an attempt to quell the disturbance, the more dominant parent demands that the squabbling siblings be separated. On and on it goes.

You would think that after we’ve grown old enough to leave the home and establish our own independence, we would grow out of such violent opposition.

As we enter adulthood many social mechanisms are pervasive in society to keep us separated from those we share the planet with including the news, other media, and even social media as well.

HEADLINES, IMAGES, and BOTS, Oh My!

There are forces who hire people to keep em separated, though most of us fall into the trap of promoting the separation for free for many psychological reasons, some deeply affected wounds or trauma fueling the angst to promote separation at all costs.

Headlines are made to appear as shocking and polarizing as possible to keep the hate rate rising. Even if the content actually contradicts the headline. This is an old newspaper-selling trick that still works today for the invaluable click-bait and increases the possibility that your misrepresented or fake news goes viral.

Images are easily altered to appear even more shocking than the original using manipulation methods made famous by the program, “Photoshop” which is now synonymous with the term for altered images. As these methods improve over time, it has become so difficult to detect an original photo from an altered photo that you are likely to suspect that any normal photo has been photoshopped.

And it’s not just people. Now there are automatically AI-programmed bots scouring the Internet looking for people to poke and disrespect just to raise your enthusiasm for supporting the separation, and they’re not even real people, just programs pretending to be people.

Internal Examination

Let’s just take an internal examination, checking with your inner self, or higher self if you dare, and ask yourself, “How do I feel inside when I watch the news?” Then ask yourself about the other forms of media that you expose yourself to. How do they make you feel?

Do they make you feel like you’re doing really good work in the world? Do you feel like you’re sharing positive/loving energy with like-minded people? Does this media exposure fill your heart full of love? Are you in the habit of letting that love overflow into the community and the world around you?

If you answered, “Yes,” to these questions, then congratulations, you are doing great.

If not, you might want to have another look at how your exposure is serving you. Maybe it is not in your best interest. Only you can determine this.

Since the media you are exposed to is probably programmed to make you feel bad and especially bad about someone or something else, you are more than likely feeling something that will feel like the opposite of healthy and lovingly.

It might be something you might want to take a look at.

You Cannot Legislate Christian Conduct

The phrase “You cannot legislate Christian conduct” reflects a perspective on the limitations of using legislation to enforce or dictate personal moral or religious behavior, particularly within a Christian context. The idea suggests that proper Christian conduct should come from personal conviction and faith rather than imposed or mandated by government laws or religious organizational expectations.

The sentiment behind this phrase is rooted in the belief that genuine Christian behavior is a matter of individual choice and spiritual conviction, and attempting to legislate it is ineffective or contrary to the principles of personal freedom and religious autonomy. Avoiding legislation of Christian conduct is often used in discussions about the role of religion in public life and the relationship between faith and governance.

The concept of “You cannot legislate Christian conduct” can appear in discussions on the intersection of religion, morality, and governance. Here are a few examples:

Religious Freedom:

Discussions about religious freedom may involve arguments against legislating specific religious practices. Advocates for this concept may stress the need to protect the autonomy of religious institutions and individuals to practice their individual beliefs without government interference.

It’s important to note that opinions on this concept can vary, and different individuals may interpret and apply it in other ways depending on their perspectives on the relationship between religion and governance.

Social Welfare Programs:

Some may express the view that Christian conduct should be voluntary rather than mandated by government programs, particularly in terms of charity and caring for the less fortunate. They might argue for the importance of personal charity and voluntary community efforts.

Social Issues:

In debates about issues such as abortion or same-sex marriage, individuals may argue that legislating certain moral positions, even if aligned with Christian beliefs, might not be the most effective approach. They may emphasize the importance of personal choice and spiritual transformation over legal mandates.

Education Policies:

When discussing the role of religion in public education, some may argue that it is inappropriate to enforce Christian values through legislation. Instead, they might advocate for a separation between religious teachings and public school curricula, allowing individuals to practice their faith personally.

Healthcare Policies:

Debates about healthcare policies, especially those involving issues like end-of-life care or reproductive rights, may include discussions about the appropriateness of legislating based on Christian principles. Some might argue for individual autonomy and medical decisions guided by personal values.

Immigration and Refugee Policies:

Discussions about immigration and refugee policies may involve considerations of compassion and empathy, and some individuals might argue against strict legislation that does not align with Christian teachings on welcoming strangers and helping those in need.

Ethics in Business:

In conversations about corporate ethics, some argue that legislating ethical behavior in business, even if inspired by Christian values, may not be as effective as fostering a corporate culture that encourages ethical decision-making based on personal conviction.

Environmental Stewardship:

Those concerned with environmental issues might argue that Christian conduct related to stewardship of the Earth should be voluntary and driven by personal responsibility rather than mandated by laws. They may emphasize the role of individuals and communities in caring for the environment.

Criminal Justice:

In discussions about criminal laws, proponents of the concept might argue against overly moralistic legislation, suggesting that focusing on rehabilitation and addressing root causes is more aligned with Christian principles than strict punitive measures.

Free Speech and Expression:

In discussions about freedom of speech and expression, some individuals might caution against legislating moral or religious speech, even if it aligns with Christian values. They may emphasize the importance of protecting diverse perspectives and beliefs.

In these contexts and others, the concept can appear in discussions or negotiations to argue for the importance of personal conviction, voluntary adherence to Christian principles, and the potential limitations of using legislation to enforce certain moral or religious behaviors.

Nothing Like Mom’s Homemade Chocolate Cake

So, there I was, talking to one of my younger brothers and he was telling me about this story from his childhood. He explained how our mother had made and baked one of her chocolate cakes from scratch so the boys could have something special in their lunch at school the following day.

Mom had always prepared the lunches the night before, so he had spent the whole night thinking about how great it would be to experience the reward of mom’s handmade chocolate cake complete with amazing chocolate icing for dessert the following day.

The boys even talked about how special this day would be thanks to mom’s cake which was safely secured in a Tupperware container inside their lunch bag. In fact, today’s lunch would have three lock-lid plastic containers inside.

Finally, when the school’s lunch bell rang, my brother grabbed his lunch bag and hurried to the lunchroom, where he unpacked the Tupperware containers and lined them up. First, he opened the sandwich container and there was the main dish, an excellently crafted peanut butter and jelly sandwich, made just he way he liked them.

After he finished the first course, he moved on to the round container that contained quite predictably, apple sauce, which he consumed slowly to add to the excitement of the soon the be enjoyed chocolate mom-cake.

Now the time had come. The cake was clearly too tall for the container because he could see the frosting inside the lid of the container which was another special treat. He would first eat the cake, then lick off the icing from inside the lid in that final glorious moment.

He cracked open the cake container only to discover applesauce inside. Panicked, he raced over to find our younger brother to investigate his sack lunch, maybe he had two pieces of cake, and maybe there was still time to retrieve one of them. He was in a hurry because our younger brother was more likely to devour the cake first.

He got there in time and popped open the younger brother’s cake container which also contained applesauce. It turns out that the stepfather had gotten up in the middle of the night, and eaten the entire chocolate cake as a midnight snack. Still unsatisfied, he cracked open the kids’ lunches and raided their lunch cakes as well, replacing them with apple sauce.

As my brother told the story, he was expressing to me a tale of a simple story of a young child’s heartbreak and the moment when he began to see his stepfather as a potentially disruptive, if not evil, influence in his familial life.

In contrast, what I saw in this story was a descriptive predictor of my younger brother, the man he was even at that young age, the man who would grow up to be, and the man who sat before me, telling me this story in the restaurant.

Even at that young age, this younger brother understood the concept of delayed gratification, not unlike the marshmallow effect. His plan was to move through the meal in successive order with every bite leading the way to the anticipated cake, leaving the frosting for last.

This is how my brother has approached all things in life and still does—diligently moving through life, one bite at a time, doing the work necessary, saving the best for savoring last.

This is clearly demonstrated by the near-miraculous success stories that permeate his adult life.

I am inspired by my brother’s cake story, and I think we all could learn a lesson from it. Not just allowing ourselves to be so tied to an expected outcome, so much that our little hearts are broken, and we are devastated because someone blindsided us, but to move through life, like my brother eats his cake, when he actually gets to.

Much later in life, he did get his cake and he got to eat it too, but that is another story.