You Could Have Done It Better

Sometimes in life, we all make decisions that change everything. It’s as if your whole life shifts into a completely different track of life, all from a decision you made at what you thought was an insignificant point in your life which turned out to be one of the most massively pivotal junctures in your life. Now, here you are.

If only you could have done it better. If only you knew then what you know now. All that second-guessing and nostalgic rumination, and for what?

Each one of those decisions which were made by based on analysis, emotion, or abruptly in the heat of the moment earmarks a point in time when we could have (if we had the cognisance and intention to do so) made a choice, decision, or taken action based on knowledge, feedback, or a feeling provided to our consciousness from our heart.

Your heart, if you are able to tap into this powerful resource, is the seat of wisdom.

Most of us let our mind, our brain, run everything. If you allow your mind and intellect to dictate all your thoughts and interpretation(s) of your surroundings, you will never hear or feel the still small voice echoing from your intuitive heart consciousness.

For those of us who have taken action based on our intellectual or emotional rationale, or in a knee-jerk reaction to some ancient anchor, in retrospect, there is a part of us which knows we could have done it better. Since the opportunity has passed, it is likely that you will be visited by regret.

Left to itself regret can turn into guilt, but it doesn’t have to. If you can find hidden treasure, the embedded sacred lesson in the event, you can receive the gift of wisdom. Storing this blessed data in your consciousness can help you to live a better life. Faced with a similar circumstance or decision in the future, you can refer back to this lesson and do better next time.

Your experience may be beneficial to someone else who you see in a similar situation.

Accept responsibility for your responses or actions, which you could have done better, in the past. This was all “you” in your glory of simply being human. Extract the educational value in the event, realize you could have done it better, and vow to do it better next time. Accept responsibility and change. Have gratitude for the event, love it, and leave the past behind. Let it go.

To allow yourself to be haunted by something you did in the past is abusive. If you can learn from your mistakes, your self-abuse is never justified. Love and forgive yourself, if necessary. Love it and let it go.

The divine reality of it all is that you really never do anything wrong. Certainly, there are things you could have done better, but anything that changes your course in life in some radical way always leads to growth and expansion.

You find yourself exposed to unlimited possibilities of new life when you are transported to an entirely new path and perspective.

While you may not be able to see it from your current vantage point, in the not too far off future, you will be able to look back at these pivotal events in your life and see the divine order of it all.

Every misstep, every bad decision, emotional response, injustice, broken heart, or hurt feeling is calling you to exponential greater opportunities, allowing you to live a better life, your best life, and make the world a better place.

Second Chances

You’ve loved, you’ve lost, the sacredness of your love disregarded, broken trust, betrayal and the lover that left you has returned.

When your ex- comes knockin' do you send him a-walkin'?
When your ex- comes knockin’ do you send him a-walkin’?
What do you do?

First off, you must wrap your head around the idea that if your former lover left you, he or she will likely do it again. Statistically, this is the bottom line.

If 9 out of 10 exiting exes tend to exit again, do you think yours is the 1 out of 10 who will return to stay?

Only if you believe he or she is “the one” (out of ten) then you need to saddle-up and get ready to give it another go, else-wise he or she gets the ole heave-ho.

Identify if you and/or your partner, are serial breakers. Some people actually attract the on again/off again relationship style and have an odd affection for all the drama that comes with it. If you and your partner are both okay with that, there is no need to read on.

There is a tendency to entertain the impossible romance for a variety of reasons, maybe you only remember the good times, being with someone familiar is better than starting over, after the breakup your self-esteem may have been sinking or you would rather be with someone than to be alone.

These are only some of the unhealthy reasons you might be compelled to allow someone into your life who is likely to disappoint, leave you and break your heart again.

There are also healthy reasons that you might consider reconciliation, like truly having an intimate and loving relationship (that goes both ways), maybe the breakup was due to circumstances beyond your control and were not directly connected to your romance and/or sharing children and working together for the common good, amongst others.

If you’re to have any hope of a successful reconciliation the one who left should be remorseful upon re-entry. He or she must be willing and able to recount their departure, explain why they left and genuinely regret their decision to leave. You should be able to “feel” their regret and they should cite some reasons that they believe that he or she would not walk out on you again.

To be certain that you have your wits about you, you should be able to have the answers to some basic questions before you reconcile:

Can you learn to trust him or her again?
Does he or she have a history of bailing out on previous relationships?
Did the break-up happen due to a lack of love in the relationship?
What does the returning ex-lover expect to gain from reconciliation?

Don’t second-guess yourself. Most jilted lovers will turn their attention inward, asking themselves, “What did I do wrong?” even escalating toward levels of self-abuse. Stop it. You didn’t bail on the relationship.

Don’t fall for the old, “What’s in the past is in the past. Let’s just forget it all and start over.”

As you move forward it may be wise to consider enlisting the aid of a therapist or relationship coach to help increase open communication, evaluating issues that may have contributed to the break-up and resolving those issues.

Both parties must review the past, determine what can be changed also be willing and able to make the changes necessary to increase the odds of maintaining and sustaining a long-term romantic relationship.

If you are unable to resolve your differences, there is the likelihood that there is another breakup looming in your future as you wait for the bomb to drop.

When someone returns, who has turned their back on you previously, it could be an opportunity for you to grow and expand in your own self-confidence and consciousness. A firm, “thanks, but no thanks,” may be an appropriate response validating your desire only to surround yourself with people and circumstances that support you, your highest and best life from this point forward.

Plus, there’s more to consider: Romantic Relationships Are More Than Two People