Author: davidmastersadmin

How to Deal With a Jerk at Work

Whether you’re an employee, in management or a leader in an organization, occasionally you’re going to run into a co-worker or person who is fairly difficult to deal with or just a pain to try to work with. As in all relationships in life, every person (even the ones that appear to be somewhat lackluster) brings value to you and your organization. So, you’re much better off finding ways to manage this working relationship successfully by figuring out how to deal with a jerk at work.

One of my clients is the CEO of an organization with a manager who possesses a powerful personality, which is a daily challenge for the CEO. While the manager’s value to the organization is painfully obvious, so is the contrasting personality, placing him at odds with the CEO on a regular basis.

It appears that every time they try to do something significant, the personality conflicts create immense controversy (including heated arguments), full on arguments and displays of opposing emotional outbreaks falling just short of progressing to fisticuffs.

Trump: "You're fired!"
Trump: “You’re fired!”

On more than one occasion, there has been reasonable consideration that excluding the manager altogether by blurting out, “You’re fired!” and to send him packing. Though, as much as the CEO might feel like he’d rather let him go than deal with him, he concedes, “He is more good than bad,” and therefore is willing to do the work to embrace and empower his charge for the benefit of the greater good.

The CEO decided to use his own management skills to reach out to the manager with the thought that there must be something lying beneath the surface which makes the manager resistant to leadership. He thought, maybe if he could better understand the manager, his life, how he became the person he is today, there is a possibility there might be a degree of understanding or empathy for the manager. After all, aren’t we all just doing the best we can with what we have?

The next opportunity for them to square off came when the manager’s department was upside down and had more work than it could handle, even exercising his best (or worst) management skills and strong-arming the team could not save the day. The CEO knew this would be a difficult meeting, but rather than poise for a fight (as usual) the CEO placed two chairs in his office at 45 degree angles, instead or across from each other (confrontational) in an attempt to eliminate some of the pressure.

Instead of starting with the obvious challenge facing the organization, the CEO first honored the manager by thanking him for saving the day so many times before when facing what seemed to be insurmountable odds, then broke character, humbled himself and intimated his struggle as a young child with making his way to succeed against all odds. There was an implied invitation for the manager to respond quid pro quo.

Following the exchange of their personal stories, these two powerful individuals discovered they had more in common than they may have previously thought, and finding the common ground enabled them, together, to find a solution to the latest challenge.

The chemistry between these individuals is still confrontational at best, but by reaching out and connecting they have a newfound respect for each other and are able to work together through crisis situations. While they may never be the best of friends, they do form a powerful team, when pushing through their social differences to mutually making gainful strides.

This is how to deal with a jerk at work.

Let’s face it; we all have people that we get along with in the working environment better with some employees and co-workers than others. For those that rub us the wrong way, we ask ourselves, “What the heck is wrong with that person?”

You wonder, “How’d he get to be that way?” What makes him/her react, like that? Why is he/she so confrontational? And if you’re not mindful, you might consider resigning yourself not to care or get involved and avoiding this person altogether.

On the other hand, we still need to go through life in tandem with people like this, and chances are, if you tried to avoid them, someone else will come to take their place. Why? Because there is great learning to be had in finding common ground with others with whom you may not be well-suited for the greater good.

Here are some questions to ponder, the next time you become aware of someone who seems like a jerk, but there might be more to the story that you may not understand. Maybe ask,

Who is this person?

Not just the person you know if the working environment, but what is life like for him/her outside the confines of work? You might find this “jerk” engaging in recreational activities, volunteering their free time to help those less fortunate, working out, and embracing meditative or relaxing exercises. Try to see a more complete view of his/her life.

What does he/she want?

Even though they are difficult to deal with, what is it that they want to accomplish? Do they desire to be respected? Are they trying to establish independence or acknowledgement? Are they seeking attention, exercising control? You may find that you share similar goals but go about achieving them differently.

Why does he/she act/react like that?

If you can find out what lies beneath the surface of the way they do what they do, it may provide insight. Try not to take it as a personal affront. It has more to do with them than it does with you. Maybe, if you can understand their plight, you can exercise care and a bit of mentor ship, by gently reaching out and helping him/her understand or at least consider better ways to approach communication.

Be the Master

In any relationship, regardless of the conflict it may represent, the only thing you can truly control is yourself. So, proudly take the gauntlet and the high road to a better life by becoming the master of your own life and taking charge of the only half of the relationship that you have control over: You.

Don’t judge others for being incompatible. Instead, humble yourself, try to understand, reach out, or in extreme circumstances, change what you can (even if it means ultimately distancing yourself) and always seek to find the treasure hidden in any conflict.

Why?

Because if you don’t learn the lesson now, a new opportunity will present itself until you do.

Your journey is a magnificent one, full of excitement and drama, all for your benefit, if you so embrace it.

Don’t Stop Believing

Remember, back when you were in school and your classmates and others would ask, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” If you were an ambitious dreamer, like me, you would spin tales of unlived possibilities in an unknown future that lies just around the bend beyond the familiar terrain of the present.

You were young. You had dreams. As a young adult you were just starting your life’s journey and may have been willing to take the midnight train going anywhere, just to get a chance to experience something new and exciting. You were bold, adventurous, and though you may have been afraid, you were willing to roll the dice just one more time just to see what fate might tempt you with.

You were alive. The whole world was yours for the asking. You had a belief that you could do anything – and you could – all you had to do was to take the step and doors would open. You believed a vast world of possibilities held treasures in store for you, and if someone dared ask you about it, you could tell stories of a future yet to be realized, like a movie that never ends, and go on and on…

Then something happened

The rude awakening – life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness – you want the reasonable basics of life. And you start pondering more base questions about life, like “Where will I live?” Where will my next meal come from? How can I support myself? What do I have to offer a potential mate?

While you still believe and are willing to continue to dream, life grabs you by the wrist and hurls you into a sense of duty and responsibility as you reason, “I need to get a job.” Or some other sobering thought, as you hear the door to the cage close, realizing you’ve just been caught in the trap of life.

Life in prison

Day by day, your enthusiasm wanes as your dreams fade and you stop believing in a fabulous future. You resign yourself to the mundane day to day lifestyle of a reality where dreams no longer exist and become accustom to the engine’s drone as you taxi into your life of mediocrity.

The little, rare fanfares interrupt your otherwise “normal” life, where every day is just the same as the day before. The alarm goes off, the scurry to do what needs to be done. The hustle and bustle of your daily routine, which could probably be conducted while blindfolded, all to find yourself safely at home. Relax for a few minutes, until “lights out.” And it starts all over again.

And you go about making the best of your life in prison, without a thought of what’s going on outside, because to allow yourself to think of it would just be too tragic. That is, until you meet that young person, of whom you ask the question, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”

In that moment you remember a time when you believed in all the possibilities, and you hope maybe to get a glimpse in the life of this young person of the flame that once burned in you so brightly. You think, even though you wasted your chance, maybe you could recapture the feeling by living vicariously through the life of this youth. Then, invariably, the young person with a dream of a brighter future begins to ask, “Where will I live?” and you know what comes next, as you shrug your shoulders and resign yourself to believe that belief is folly.

Don’t Stop Believing!

And that’s just how society has trained you to think and react. When you stop believing, the machine wins as you become nothing more than a functioning part of it, without hopes, dreams and unmotivated to disrupt the status quo.

It’s never too late to start believing and resuming your life’s journey again. All you have to do is to start where you left off. Have the courage to ask yourself, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”

Don’t think of yourself as someone whose future has already been spent. You can ever continue to grow and change, embracing a brighter future and daring to do something to make the world a better place, no matter what station in life you may be in or what your age might be.

Dare to dream about the bright future that lies ahead, waiting for you in the next season of your life.

As you step back into the driver’s seat, ready to embark on your renewed life’s journey, you can continue to grow, evolve, write and rewrite your life’s script, like the movie that never ends, it goes on and on, and on, and on…

Don’t Stop Believing

The Disease That Kills Love and Relationships

Ever wonder why your relationships just don’t work out right?

In the beginning, you feel as though you’ve met your one true love and it’s not long before this magnificent love dream come true devolves into your worst nightmare.

Top 10 Reasons Relationships Fail

Desperate to save your precious dream, you explore all the challenges that caused your relationship to be compromised or fail. Therapeutic intervention dissects your relationship and all its flaws such as basic compatibility, communication styles, disinterest, abuse, trust, betrayal, unmet expectations, unfulfilled obligations, money issues and infidelity, the top 10 reasons relationships fail.

These top 10 reasons that relationships fail are not why relationships fail, nor are any of the other so-called reasons; they are only treated as symptoms, while the underlying disease continues to spread – not only in your relationship – but most relationships in the world.

The real reason why relationships fail is due to the spread of this dangerous disease which spreads like a viral wildfire. This disease, left to itself will destroy and break down every love relationship we’re involved in, not just out romantic relationships. This viral disease leads to the failure and destruction of all kinds of relationships, including a significant other, family, mom, dad, brother, sister, children, coworkers, bosses and platonic friends.

All our relationships are at risk of being infected by this deadly disease, which is the real root cause of the death of any relationship.

The Truth: Why Relationships Fail

You might be surprised to discover there is only one reason that relationships fail. If you’re fervently seeking to find true love, you will never find it if you are infected with the disease.

Wonder what the disease is that will thwart any relationship you have cause it to fall to pieces, no matter how you try to save it?

The name of the disease is

LOVE

Yes, “love;” the definition of it, the concept of it and everything you believe about it, love is the disease.
What if

Everything You Know About Love is Wrong?

You’ve been infected with the disease which has spread more and more with every interaction you’ve had with other relationships as far back as you can remember (and before).

Your parents, society, the media and Disney have planted and spread the disease so pervasively that you couldn’t recognize true love if you saw it.

Join me for the

Awakening to True Love Workshop

Where in this all day event, you will learn what love really is, how to have it, get it and keep it without fear.

Awakening to True Love Workshop
Saturday, February 11, 2017
10:00 am -to- 6:00 pm
Reiki Ranch, Chehalis, Washington
$120.00

Click for Discount Tickets $50.00 (save $70)

Eliminate the poison that spreads the highly contagious disease of love that promotes possessiveness, jealousy, envy, suspicion, bitterness, dishonesty, controlling, abuse, judging others and yourself.

Instead, you will learn to love unconditionally and have true love in your intimate relationships amidst a society dominated by the disease of love.

You will find the source of the power of true love emanates from within your heart and does not come from outside yourself. Thinking that love comes from anywhere else is the lie that germinates the disease of love’s seeds.

In this 1 day event you will

  • Learn to forgive and love yourself as you learn about and eradicate the poisonous disease of love.
  • Discover your inner strengths and realize the opinion of others, criticisms or expectations have no effect on or power over you.
  • Eliminate the risk of betrayal as true love’s trust cannot be broken.
  • Get to know you, who you are and who you were in your youth prior to the installation of this deceitful and manipulative viral software.
  • Get in touch with your inner beauty and purity as you share your true love for another with your newfound peace and serenity from within.

Your true love accepts others just the way they are; without criticism, opinions, or judgment.

Awakening to True Love in self-awareness, self-love and self-forgiveness empower you to accept yourself, love yourself in the mirror, loving your relationship whether it be with your spouse, friends or relatives but most of all learning to love yourself regardless of what anybody else thinks or says.

See you at the Soulmate Wizardry event.

Learn how to love yourself and by extension everyone and everything else that is out there in our universe.

Awakening to True Love Workshop
Reiki Ranch, Chehalis, Washington

Call (360) 748-4426, or email reikiranch@gmail.com to reserve your spot today. Seating for this event is limited.

Are You a Hawk or a Prairie Dog?

Each of us has our own relationship style, with each individual this starts from the day we are born with the surroundings, experiences as a child, and early adulthood that make us who we are today as a person.

 

Taking these experiences with us into adult relationships, when we first fall in love we call this the ecstasy period. It’s a joyful period that takes us back to the innocence in the infancy of pure thoughts and feelings, but as the relationship continues we also carry the fears from childhood that we have experienced and those fears can affect your relationship. Whether it be a sudden death of a loved one, which may affect a person severely and they may show signs such as a fear of abandonment and project these fears onto their partner. Their partner doesn’t know why he or she may be acting out in ways that affect the relationship negatively. If things such as these are addressed and communicated to each other, the couple can learn ways to cope with such fears

It’s not uncommon for two people with opposing personalities to be attracted to each other, after all don’t opposites attract? For example, you might find yourself an introvert paired up with an extrovert. I call this the Prairie Dog and the Hawk relationship. I’ll explain, while prairie dogs spend most of their time underground they do come out to play and check out the landscape. The hawk, on the other hand, spends his time gliding around, checking out its surroundings, and is always got his eye on everything. The prairie dog is content to retreat back into his underground once more if feels threatened.

If you find yourself in a prairie dog/hawk relationship, here are some tools you can use to bridge the gap to keep your communication going in order to have a successful long-term relationship.

If you can understand the prairie dog person and the things that they have gone through as a child, you may be able to understand why they may have traits such as anxiety, feel they’re not good enough because a parent or another authority figure in their childhood constantly put them down, etc.  The hawk is just being a hawk and they’re not aware that their actions are frightening the prairie dog into his underground retreat. which makes the hawk angry because it feels the prairie dog is withdrawing from the relationship but that’s not the case.

If you happen to be in this relationship then you must realize that this is the time you must have patience and understanding that this prairie dog needs time and space to think about how to handle things. The more and more you attack, yell or scream at the prairie dog the more he will run and hide.

For example, the prairie dog is out playing and the hawk flies over because it wants to play too. But the prairie dog runs and hides in its hole. This makes the hawk upset and hurts the hawk’s feelings. The hawk doesn’t know why and doesn’t know what’s going on. The hawk goes down to the prairie dog’s hole and says, “Please come out here, we need to have a talk.” The prairie dog says, “I don’t want to talk to you. I’m happy in my hole.” the hawk says

The hawk says I’m not trying to scare you, intimidate you or make you feel bad, but I love you, and I want to understand why we’re having this trouble and can’t seem to have fun playing with each other.” Reluctantly, the prairie dog agrees to come out and talk.

The prairie dog and the hawk set side by side, The hawk reaches out and touches the prairie dog in a caring manner and says, “I care about you and I would never do anything to hurt you. I just want to understand why you run away when I try to come by and play?”

After talking, it is revealed that the prairie dog is frightened when he sees the shadow of the hawk fly over because many years ago the prairie dog was playing with his brother one day when a hawk’s shadow flew over them. The young prairie dog witnessed the brother being mauled and eaten by the hawk. That is why when he sees a hawk’s shadow fly overhead he runs and hides. Nothing against the hawk. Moved by the

Moved by the prairie dog’s story, the hawk says, “I would never do anything to hurt you or scare you. What can we do so that you don’t feel frightened when I fly overhead?”

After talking for a while, they agree that an acceptable solution would be for the hawk to whistle the prairie dog’s favorite tune as it flies overhead so that the prairie dog would know that is was his hawk who loved him and wanted to play and not a danger.

My point is, a relationship like this can work out with the right communication and understanding perhaps this may help you in a relationship where you find yourself either being the Hawk or the Prairie Dog.

 

Aren’t All Life Coaches the Same?

It’s not uncommon for people to have misconceptions about the types of coaches and mentors that I work with, especially if they have met one. After meeting someone who introduces them as a “Life Coach” and you get to know a little about them and what they do, you might come to the conclusion that this is what life coaches are like. Like most assumptive generalizations, nothing could be further from the truth.

That would be like saying that all government employees are the same. While they may share some similar characteristics, each coach, counselor or consultant is more like an individual work or art and no two are the same.

Out of nearly a hundred different types of coaches I’ve worked with, the most popular include the general life coach as well as coaches in specialized areas of business, career, communication, financial, leadership, mentoring, performance, relationship, and spiritual to note a few.

Each individual coach, counselor or consultant brings their own mix of varying degrees of innate skills, life experiences and professional training to become the ever-evolving version of themselves which they offer to others as a support system, and every one has his or her own unique style of coaching.

For instance, here are just some attributes of coaching styles that you might find in a potential coach:

  • Accountability partner
  • Acts as a guide and confidant
  • Assist individuals in breaking out of their comfort zone and expand their thinking
  • Assist others in seeing the superpowers shrouded by infirmity or disability
  • Assists in trying new things or a new ways of doing something
  • Challenge the person’s assumptions
  • Cognitive shift enabling clients to achieve their goals
  • Competition coaching in any field from sports to professional
  • Focus on experimentation, creativity and innovation
  • Goals setting and achievement
  • Help others turn bad experiences into treasure leading to a bright future
  • Helping people live in the now
  • Helps make a considerable break from the past
  • Helps remove blocks that may be the result of a hidden fear or limiting beliefs
  • Identifies with how the client is feeling
  • Identify personal or professional symptoms, find out the source of those symptoms, and help them find solutions
  • Increasing performance, personal and/or professional
  • Motivation and inspirational
  • Reflective consideration, overcoming the past to effectively move forward
  • Uncovering expansion of truth and belief systems
  • Work with a person resistant to growth
  • Work on personal standards and boundaries
  • Work with people on who they are, what they want and how to achieve their desires

There are so many different kinds of coaches with so many styles and specialties that it is nothing short of impossible a task to try to lump them all into a particular set of characteristics, even if based on their particular field of expertise.

So, if you’re looking for a coach, keep in mind that one size does not fit all. Find the right coach for you, one whose style resonates with you.

And if you’re interested in becoming a coach or mentor (or already are one) celebrate your individuality and be yourself. Embrace a style of coaching that suits you well and helps your clients achieve their highest and best.

Distraction and Addiction

Why are we so attracted to bright and shiny objects?

Here you are, on track, fervently applying your talents and skills on what will have the gretest impact on your life, that of your family and possibly the world when suddenly… What’s that?

It’s interesting to say the least. You justify disengaging for the briefest of moment, only to investigate the interruption for a minute, with the full intention to returning to the subject at hand.

Before you know it, the day is spent. One thing or another has successfully distracted you enough that all your good intentions to be intently productive have failed, and you ask yourself, “Why?”

No need to berate yourself. We all do it, and there’s good reason.

If you’re of the scientific persuasion, it might make you feel better and give you the tools that you need to understand why your mind tends to wander (just like the rest of us) which may enable you to actually do something about it.

We all seek some kind of reward for doing the things that are less than enjoyable. Scientists who study the mind often reach down to lower creatures for clues to uncover the answers of why we do the things we do. Rats think, process instincts and reasoning skills are compact and plentiful, so they make excellent test subjects in the laboratory.

If scientists run tests on rats in cages with levers that dispense an edible treat they can come to reasonable hypothesis of how we also might respond to rewards by studying the results based on the psychology of animals.

Neuroscientists track the electrical and chemical activity of the rat’s brain as it responds to stimuli based on pressing levers and getting something in return, shedding light on how the mind works in terms of short term pleasure and long term happiness, which generates questions to ask about how the results might compare to the human brain.

The subcortex is the pleasure center of the human brain, which is also true for the brains of other animals on this planet including rats. If one were to administer an electrical charge to that portion of your brain, you would feel a surge of pleasure.

Though shocking humans at this spot on the brain is problematic, it can be triggered by drugs such as heroin.

Distraction is not always associated with pleasure. Your attention may be interrupted by something inconsequential and meaningless, which may never result in a sense of pleasure just as Heroin addicts can experience a great deal of need when they burn out the ability of their subcortex to reward their continued drug use, so they experience little or no pleasure response leaving them wanting more all the more as they try to achieve the result they were accustomed to during their regular drug use.

It’s the Wanting

Wanting something is what fuels our distraction. Desire circuits are located near the subcortex and are more prevalent than pleasure circuits and are triggered by the neurohormone, dopamine. The effect of dopamine in this part of the brain is the key component in addictions.

Even when no drug is present, just being reminded of situations, circumstances or any trigger that initiates recollection of the use of the drug, releases a dose of dopamine in the brain, making the addict want to use the drug again to re-experience the full effect even more.

We all are wired to want the things we like due to the desire and pleasure circuitry in the brain being so closely associated. The downside of addiction is that as you bombard the pleasure center repeatedly, it’s ability to make you feel the thrill decreases, leaving the addict to want more and more substance, while casual users are more likely to experience the original high without damaging the subcortex’s ability to thrill.

Engaging in fun activities that are not addictive always have a sense of pleasure associated with them, while routine activities are more closely associated with addictive qualities and become less enjoyable over time, like watching television or engaging with our electronic devices and social media.

We were so excited about our TV that we wanted more and more channels. Now those who have watched it most have hundreds of channels but can’t find anything to watch.

What does your phone use say about you?

Social media is the new heroin, as each interaction produces a dose of sweet dopamine which keeps us wanting/needing more and more… leading to the decline of organic conversation in our culture.

Now that you have a basic idea about why your body reacts like it does to certain stimuli, you might be able to withstand succumbing to the lure of distraction, allowing you to stay more keenly focused on the meaningful aspects of life, without getting derailed.

If you find that you are unable to disengage in the distractions of life on your own, you may need a little help from your friends (a coach, counselor or consultant) to break the addiction and resume your life and experience long term satisfaction and happiness.

You can do this.

Your best life is waiting for you.

Living in the Now

How magnificent might it be if we could live every day fresh and new, free from the darkness of our past? Our memories and the vibrations of the thoughts of our past set the tone for the life we live. But what if we could break free from the past and live each day as a new day? How glorious could it be? How much better could every new day be? If it were possible, this would be living in the now.

If it were possible to truly live in the now, what might it take to start living a life free from the past? If you could suspend disbelief for a moment and ponder such a possibility, here are some of the processes to consider if you were to dare to begin living in the now.

Be Aware

If you are living in the now, you are very cognizant about your surroundings. You see things as they are, uninfluenced by the history of your past. This perspective honors life as it is in the moment.

Forgiveness

Forgiveness is not something you seek from someone else. The only forgiveness you can ever truly experience is the forgiveness you administer. Forgiving yourself and others for anything that has happened previous to this moment in time enables you to live in the now. Forgiveness clears the slate for new information uninhibited by previous thought processes, previously accumulated data, judgments and negative influences.

Especially if you’re carrying around wounds inside, it’s time to forgive, let it go and step into this moment, free from the past: Now.

Take Out the Trash

Living in the now requires removing all the things from your life that pull you back into the past. If you really want to live in the now, you must get rid of all the baggage and things around you connected to your past, that could drag you down. It’s time for some serious house-cleaning and throwing out the garbage of the past, making way for truly living in the now.

Edify Yourself

If you are living in the new, there is no need for self deprecation. Every day you wake to a new day, you are a new person, fresh and innocent as a new born. There is no need to punish, abuse yourself or feel bad about anything in your past. The past is gone. It doesn’t exist. You are happy and confident to enjoy the new you in this new day. You only celebrate your strengths, abilities, goodness and worthiness now.

Don’t Worry, Be Happy

If you’re living in the now, there is no need to worry. You can rest assured that everything you could ever need has been provided for you and this day in your journey. You’re already free from the past, now there is no need to waste any time fretting about what tomorrow might be. You’re happy in knowing you are and have forgiven and moving forward in joy and happiness. You enthusiastically embrace each new day, come what may.

Dream Forward

Set your attention and intentions on your new, best life ever. Using your imagination, empower your dreams to create an image of your new life going into the future. How much better can each new day be? What if you could have anything you want, fully enjoying your heart’s desires? What would it look like, feel like, taste, smell and sound like?

Here’s where you interrupt, saying, “That’s not the ‘Now,’ it’s the future.” Good point. Let me ask you this,

Can you change the past?
Can you change the future?

Okay, stay with me. You can have everything you’ve ever wanted if you take action (wait for it…) in the now.

Take Action

Living in the now enables you to take action (albeit as miniscule or gigantic) in this very moment that moves you closer to achieving your dreams. The desires of your heart were fulfilled in the moment you thought about it and are waiting for you, now in the future. Dreams do not come true by magic, they are realized by moving from where you are to where you want to be and removing whatever stands between you and what you want.

Think about it.

What if you can start living in the now in the now?

Now is no better time to start living in the now

If you dare

How to Find Your Purpose

You’re awakening to the idea that there must be more to this life, and there is. The life you’ve been living up ‘til now may be a constant denial of the idea that your life has meaning and purpose. You came to this planet with a unique set of skills, special abilities and a song to sing (message to share) with others. It might be time to find out how to find your purpose.

It’s no wonder your life lacks a sense of meaning, if you’re not embracing the real you. And you’re not alone. We’re all pretty much in the same boat. We’ve all been programmed to be sheep, easily herded in a society desperately trying to control us all by creating factions of conformity. It is much easier to manage groups of like-minded people than it is to try to influence 7 billion people. So, our individuality is stifled as we are programmed by our parents to accept the mediocrity of conformity, just as their parents and the parents before them did, as far back as anyone can remember and/or document.

More and more every day a growing number of us are awakening from our everyday trance of life to the idea that we might have a purpose and we do, we all do. So, it’s no surprise if one day you ask, What is my life’s purpose?

How do I find my life’s purpose?

While I spend a great deal of time working with clients to find and embrace their calling or purpose, what most people fail to realize it that their life leaves clues as to their purpose sprinkled everywhere. You can find your life’s calling by following your passion’s trail of crumbs leading the way to your purpose.

Your purpose glistens beneath the surface of your daily activities and can be found shining through as you perform your functions at work and likely even more passionately in your recreational activities.

There are some good methods you could employ to get a sense of your life’s purpose. Start by taking note of those activities where you shine, have exemplary performance that is noticed by coworkers or onlookers. What turns you on? What are the activities that bring you joy, provide a sense of satisfaction, contentment, relaxation or peace?

Make a list of the things you do, that when you do them, make you feel good.

If you’re still feeling uncertain about your life’s purpose, here are some more ideas… jot down your results.

What activities cause time to disappear when you’re engaging in them?

What activities give you a sense of accomplishment (or would if you did them)?

What people or ideas or things inspire or move you (may even tempt a tear)?

What kind of topics do people ask you for advice about?

What comes naturally to you? (Special abilities, skills and/or gifts)

What is the most important thing in life to you?

What challenges in life have you encountered and successfully overcome?

What are your most tightly regarded beliefs?

If you could teach a class about anything, what might interest you?

If you could deliver one brief message to the world, what would it be?

Is there anything in life you feel you could not live without?

Imagine you on your death bed; is there anything you might have regretted not doing?

 

With your list of results in hand (which you could sort in order of importance, rated on a scale from 1 to 10, 1 being the least amount of satisfaction and 10 the most), ask yourself this question:

Considering my skills, talents, abilities, passions and things that bring me joy, how could I best serve my self, family, friends, community or the world at large in a way that would make me feel as though I have made an impact, served or done my part for the greater good?

The answer to this question is your mission.

Once you start engaging in fulfilling your life’s mission, nothing makes you feel better or gives you a better feeling of accomplishment. This is how you know that you know you are purposefully on track to living a better life, your best life and make the world a better place.

You Are a Mentor

More often than not, when I am working with a client who is an excellent match to me and my work, they end up being attracted to and thriving as a mentor helping others. You might be surprised to find that you are a mentor as well.

My clients and friends have gone through challenging circumstances and once they learn how to deal with their issues, extracting and embracing the hidden treasures in their life experiences and overcoming obstacles that may have otherwise thrown them off track, they discover are heroes.

They embrace the idea of being the hero of their own story. Once they are empowered to take control of the writing instrument, they are able to write and rewrite their story as necessary to ensure a magnificent story is unfolding. They understand what a blessing it is to be playing the leading role in the story of their life.

They may (most certainly do) write a book, create a support group, start a consulting or brick and mortar business and/or offer their expertise in the areas that others are facing as tragic challenges in their lives. These stories of successfully maneuvering life’s greatest challenges and thriving on the other side of despair give others great hope and inspiration to those struggling with similar issues and circumstances.

In this manner those most tragic and desperate moments are transformed from the darkest night to the most precious treasure, maybe even the brightest beacon of light emanating from your heart. You become the lighthouse, lighting the way for others to successfully navigate life’s most treacherous waters.

It is common for my clients and friends to feel a tug on their hearts to reach out in support of others who are struggling with the same issues they once faced and thought were insurmountable. In their darkest moments, many of these people contemplated (and some attempted) taking their own lives. Why suicide? Because in that moment they felt like the permanent sleep might be the only way to end the pain they were experiencing at the time. Thank God, they held on long enough to push through.

Just as you know in your heart of hearts there are others out there struggling in the same way and no one knows better than you do that there is hope and an incredibly satisfying life waiting just on the other side. How could you not reach out and help others, after overcoming and enjoying the light of new life with a renewed vigor, enthusiastic joy and happiness?

There is a sense that mentoring others is a calling, and answering the call makes sense of all the madness and suffering by helping those less fortunate. You know whereof you speak when you utter the words, “I know what it’s like.”

Either we come to this earth with an innate set of skills, abilities and message to share (song to sing) or life prepares us for what will be our greatest work. Either way, the wisdom and ability to share and serve the greater community along with all the necessary tools and other help that you may need to fully embrace this work will come to you in the right time as you take the steps necessary to achieve your highest and best.

Self-doubt immediately will rear its ugly head and try to dissuade you from embracing your calling but you’re not falling for it – not this time. And, as you do reach out to help others, you receive additional benefits of growth and healing by answering the higher calling.

As a mentor, the structure of the mentor/protégé relationship is less strict and more personal than a formal tutor or school-based classroom educational learning environment. This is a highly customized intimate learning process where both the mentor and the protégé (mentee) learn from each other as they continue to grow in their field(s) of study.

Interested in becoming a mentor?

Stay tuned for more information, or drop me a line.

Angels Among Us

Angels are all around you, whether you acknowledge their existence or not. You don’t have to be religious (because they are not) or believe in them but they are always there. And if you think about it, you have probably had an interaction with angels, particularly your guardian angel, already.

Not to be confused with ghosts who have possessed bodies, like us, previously, angels have never lived life on this planet and have never suffered death. They exist in a higher dimension, can see and interact with us cross-dimensionally and we cannot see into their dimension under normal circumstances. Though there are reports of those rare circumstances, when one of us is invited to see into their world.

Occasionally, our guardian angel(s) will make themselves apparent by various signs, may even appear before us in a visible form, and certainly their presence can be felt.

Remember that time you almost crossed paths with the Grim Reaper? You were “this close” to being in the wrong place at the wrong time and “Bam!” in that instant your life could have come to an untimely end. But it wasn’t your time, and your guardian angel intervened in a split second to see that your life was not interrupted.

Not only is this just one of the miraculous benefits of having a guardian angel, but it is a clear indication that you have work to do, some significant contribution to bequeath to this world before you leave it and transition to the hereafter.

I’ve heard so many stories of near-death experiences, about fatal car accidents which were avoided by people who have a feeling – a powerful knowing – that had it not been for angelic intervention, they would have been killed in that accident. Usually, this feeling is followed by sense of knowing that it was not their time accompanied by awareness that their life had some unfulfilled purpose.

A recollection and review of the incidents that led to interruptions or delays that prevented you from being involved in the accident further supports intervention by one’s guardian angel. One recurring story that could be told –and could even be yours – might go something, like this: even though you’ve regularly travelled the same section of roadway at the same time of day, this day in particular, something insignificant (but unusual) delayed your travel, such as a phone call prior to leaving home (though no one was on the phone). While this could easily be explained away as coincidence, it was far from that. In my case, a flat tire prevented my being involved in an Interstate pile up in 2014.

Your guardian angel is always watching over you, loving, caring and protecting you (whether you like it or not) assuring if it’s not your time, you’re not going anywhere, indicating you still have something to do.

Ever find yourself sinking into the depths of despair, a dark depressive state? You’ve reached out to friends, which has helped in the past, but has left you feeling empty. Sought counseling, and just can’t seem to find a way to break through? In these moments (regardless of your beliefs) you find yourself reaching out to a higher power?

Your angel is there, waiting to love and comfort you. There is no other more empathetic force than your guardian angel who feels all your feelings, hears your thoughts, shares your pain and cries your tears. No human could possibly love or understand you, like your guardian angel who has been there with you through each and every moment of your life.

In those darkest moments – when no one else is around – if you find yourself in loving repose, you have let your defenses down long enough to feel your angel’s loving embrace. When just moments ago, all was lost, you find the strength and courage to take another breath, another step, and are able to move forward, against all odds.

Even though your angels are always around you, you can call on them and interact with them, if you so choose. Do you need to believe angels are real? Not really, nor any other supporting believe in particular, except for to suspend disbelief long enough to allow the interaction.

Once you’ve made a connection with your angel (you might have more than one angel, many people do), you may become more aware of your angel’s presence and find them only a thought away.