Author: davidmastersadmin

Disrespect and Hurt Feelings in Relationships

Have you ever found yourself laboring to explain to your special someone how they hurt your feelings or disrespected you?

As two people come together and get to know each other, it is reasonable to expect things will come up as an indication that the two of you don’t see eye to eye on a particular subject. In some cases, you may feel bad, disrespected, disregarded or betrayed, and depending on how a sensitive a person you are, you could be hurt badly.

But you’re getting to know this person, are developing feelings of attachment, and/or falling in love with this person. You fancy the idea of having him or her in your life enough to reach out to them in an effort to help them understand how you feel, which is a normal course of action in any relationship.

On your first attempt to explain yourself to someone, you expect to be heard and felt. Everyone is entitled to make mistakes, as you know you, too, probably have disrespected some one else, not on purpose but in a moment when you were busy, focused, distracted, or had lost track of time, etc… and hurt someone’s feelings unintentionally.

Or maybe we’re talking about crossing boundaries. When you’re in a relationship, you can expect to cover all the rules and boundaries that exist in your head and your heart in the beginning, and you just sort of assume that you’re both completely compatible based on how you feel about this person.

If you and your partner have healthy boundaries, of course, the best way to communicate your boundaries is to merely talk about them and establish a mutual respect about each other’s boundaries. The next best way to bring up your boundaries is when either one of you find yourself crossing the other’s boundaries.

This is a good time to communicate, establish and negotiate the honoring of the boundary in your relationship or to make amendments or accommodations for the boundary in question. Some boundaries protect us from physical or emotional pain, but may change over time, the less we need them and as we continue to grow emotionally, while some may remain non-negotiable.

Okay, so someone’s crossed the line, and your feelings were hurt. You were considerate enough to explain the situation to your partner, and he or she heard you, respected you, apologized and agreed to take your feeling into consideration, should the same set of circumstances appear once again. And in a perfect world, in an adult relationship between two people who care about each other, this is the highest and best approach and outcome.

But what if it happens again?

Even though you felt like the two of you were perfectly clear and in agreement, now, you’re second-guessing, wondering if your initial expression was misunderstood, maybe you didn’t make yourself clear enough and it may be reasonable to talk about this particular situation again.

So, this time, you’re explaining to your partner in greater detail, including much more stories, demonstrations, possibly including audio/visual tools, drawing charts, graphs, maps and using bullet lists (yes, this can go into outrageous extremes, depending on the one doing the communicating) to make sure there is no misunderstanding in the future.

If you feel like you’ve been heard and your partner has endured your presentation, thanked you for clearly expressing yourself, understanding the two of you are basically using a common language and level of understanding in respect and honor of your clearly expressed ideas, and he or she agrees to honor your perspective if faced with similar circumstances in the future.

Well done.

That should do it.

If it doesn’t, and the same grievance comes up again, you can be relatively certain that something else is going on, here. You know you’re being heard. You’ve made every effort to establish rapport and understanding, yet here you are again.

This could feel like abuse, and anyone who knows you intimately, like your friends and family, might jump to that conclusion immediately, especially if you (or they) have had experience with a similar situation which did not fare well in the past.

The truth is, by this point, you can ascertain that this person is not going to change his or her thoughts or actions on this deal to accommodate you. You have to realize that this person is hard-wired this way and is never going to change for you.

Going back to the drawing board once again to try to explain yourself is fruitless. Nothing good could come from it, and your partner will only be going through the motions, agree to do or say anything you want to hear, but not really. They just want your grueling expression to stop, so they can get back to living their life.

Plus, you might be imposing abuse on your partner by badgering him or her endlessly about this particular subject. Just stop it. This could go on forever, and nothing good could come from that.

It’s not on you to expect to change your partner, just as you would not expect your partner to want you to change for him or her, although, some compromise along the way is reasonable, as long as it’s not too extreme.

Oh, you might think that if you love him or her enough, that they will realize one day that you were right all along, he or she instantly changes, as if being touched by a magic fairy’s wand, and the two of you will walk off into the sunset hand in hand in perfect harmony, with sparkles and butterflies all around.

The chances of that are pretty slim. So, at this point, you have to ask yourself, “Can I live with this?” It’s on you at this point, not the other person. Someday this person might change due to their own personal growth and evolvement, but you have to know, this is the way it’s going to be, probably forever. Can you live with that?

If loosening up on a boundary here and there is acceptable to you, then think about changing the way you think about this particular situation, consider making a compromise. Keep in mind if you are making the majority of the compromises, this will likely not be in your best interest in the long run, and you’re likely going to resent or regret this later.

On the other hand, in the rarest of circumstances, both parties begin to grow and change in synergistic harmony, evolving together in a symphony of continued awareness and enlightenment. If each of their individual paths is harmonious with the other’s, this can be the bliss which we all seek in a long-term relationship.

Embrace Your Passion

You have a fire burning inside you; a desire to tell the world something of grave importance, an idea to present that will make the world a better place, you have no choice, and you either have to let it out or put it out.

Even as that fire burns, the less attention you pay to stoking the fire to keep it ablaze, the more it diminishes, and left to itself, it the flame will eventually burn out.

You might think that you’re not good enough, smart enough, educated enough, old enough, young enough, brave enough or worthy to take on such a project, for if you dared to utter that which burns inside you, and you were met with resistance, you would be crushed. Life has probably taught you that on already.

You’ve found a good enough place in life where you have a job, a place to live, some family and friends… Sure, things could be better, but on the other hand things could be so much worse and you think, “I’m not that bad.” And that’s what you settle for.
The media does a good job of giving yourself much worse circumstances to compare your plight to. When comparing to those who are much worse off, you feel somewhat better about eeking out your basic life which leads to nowhere.

Still, every once and a while, the urge to do something to make a great contribution to the world wells up inside you, and the more that it happens, the easier it gets to push it away, hide in under a bushel, ignore it, and it will go away.

Just disregard it as childish daydreaming. You were warned of that as a child, now you’re an adult, you have no time for such foolish ideals.

Yet, inside you remains a huge storage facility full of gifts, tools, talents and special abilities, which may pop up occasionally and shine for a brief moment while at work, in a crisis, or a special occasion. But this vast cache of treasure is otherwise underutilized or disregarded altogether; more childish foolishness.

You are okay with your job, but not satisfied. There is little pride in being basically just an assembly line worker or cog in the machine, or a sheep in the field. In fact, that drudgery is not only at work, but you find un-fulfillment all around you, at work, at home, in your community. It’s just the same ol’ same ol’, on and on, every day, ad infinitum.

Why not consider this?

The next time you have a free moment, create something, talk to someone about what deeply moves you, find a way to release some of that passion in your life.
If you look at your life, even if you have a full time job, you have excess hours that are spent idly. Why not turn this time into opportunities to express yourself and exercise your special gifts, talents and abilities?

These precious moments are your chance to stoke the fire in you about the things you are passionate about. Even if it feels awkward, at first, start with just a few minutes every day. And keep building on those minutes, until you get to an hour, a few hours, as many as 8 hours or more are just waiting for you to capture them, to achieve your highest and best, and make the world a better place.

You came to this planet with a message and a purpose. They will always be itching at your attention to be engaged in and released. Sure, you can bury them, like you have in the past, or you can bring them to life. What have you got to lose?

Embarrassment?

Okay, so you’re afraid of being embarrassed, ever been embarrassed before?

How bad was it? Did you live through it?

Compare that to answering this question: What if you’re successful?

What if you actually find fulfillment in your life, a sense of satisfaction, and how good it feels to do something good for the world that will help others in their lives, and possibly have an impact on the world looking for something better than the troubles, tragedies, fear, or sense of worthlessness they’re struggling with on a regular basis?

You have some fear. We all do.

Try this little personal exploration project. Make three lists. One list of all the things you are good at. The second list jot down all the things you like to do, activities and things that bring you joy. On the third list, delineate all the things that make you feel like you’ve accomplished something, give you a sense of meaning, value or purpose.

The things that appear on all three lists? These are the major clues to your calling, especially if they resonate with your hidden treasure chest of skills and abilities that your kept locked away.

Sound scary?

Okay, so what.

You’re only starting by dedicating five minutes a day, then when you feel comfortable with that, try 10 minutes, and keep going until you’re on your way to empowering yourself as a force for good in a world that need you, to hear your message, to feel your presence.

This is your time.

The time is now.

Get in The Zone

“The zone” is a vibratory state of mind, where your body, mind and soul are in sync with each other so synergistically that everything becomes easy, some people report this heightened sense of awareness makes it appear as though the world is moving in slow motion, giving he or she who is in the zone a fraction of a second (or more) advantage.

Athletes and Olympians refer to this state of being as being “in the zone.” In that moment it’s as though all the planets, synapses in your brain, the cells of your body and your DNA are all aligned and you are operating at your peak performance capacity.

This state of being is not just for athletes, you will find people in the zone in the office, boardroom, at the news desk, on the highway, in the air, or on the battlefield. When you’re in the zone, you are able to react quickly with accuracy, you have an increased focus, as everything outside the task at hand fades away, and attention to detail and precision is increased.

Being in the zone is akin to being in the state of mind known as “Fight or Flight.” This instinctual state includes a preemptive knowing that something is not right, the body reacts, feeding adrenaline into the system and readies for battle or retreat, as the conscious mind is trying to sort out the details and assess the situation. All this happens in an instant and is what has led to the survival of our ancestors from predatory animals. It’s all pre-programmed in us, we don’t have to think about it, it is just there, when we need it (or sometimes shows up when we don’t need it, or when it is not in our best interest, but that’s another story).

The difference from being In-the-Flow and Fight-or-Flight is that being in the flow is a calm, comprehensive focus of attention and detail with increased accuracy and performance, while fight or flight is more emergent, and therefore more awkward, panicked and reckless, most of the power for flow is seated in the brain, while fight or flight’s energies are more focused on large muscle groups.

The neural network within the heart is the initial triggering device for both fight or flight and the zone. It is triggered by impending danger or heavy importance, and it readies you to enter a state of being which far surpasses your standard state of mind.

Common to both states, once triggered, a chemical cocktail is administered containing dopamine, cotisol and noradrenaline, pushing the nervouis system into a heightened sense of awareness in preparation for calling forth your superhuman abilities.

Flow, on the other hand, adds serotonin and anandamide hormones to the mix, which takes this heightened state to a new level altogether. Serotonin, aptly coined as “the feel good hormone” and anandamide, referred to as “the bliss molecule,” create a state of excited, creative euphoria. Mix that with the heightened rising to the occasion with a sense of importance and/or danger and you have: Flow.

We hear about flow in sports circles all the time, from team sports, when a player or group of players enter the state of flow to accomplish news-making accomplishments during critical points of the game in progress. And in individual sports when there is a potential of danger, or in an attempt to secure an important high score. Either way, in these moments, nothing else exists except the task at hand, and everything else seems to slow down to accommodate your heightened state of awareness.

Creative artists, such as painters, sculptors, writers, and musicians also report countless stories of being “in the zone” in their shining moments of superior inspiration or creative genius.

Once you know about the zone, you can begin to use the zone to increase your effectiveness in achieving your highest and best, living a better life, or making the world a better place.

Join Us Share Your Message

Join Us ~ Share Your Message
and Shout it from the Rooftops

For years I’ve been shouting, “Achieve your highest and best,” and, “Live a better life,” and lately, I’ve been adding, “And make the world a better place,” because those of us who are doing the work, can’t do it alone. If these things resonate with you, then I encourage you to contact me, and let’s find a way to light the path, so that you, too, can help carry the torch for others who are lost in the darkness.

If you’ve recently experienced an awakening, and you’re seeing this life for what it is, unveiled and exposed to your consciousness for the first time, it’s easy to get over-enthusiastic about spreading the word to others who cannot see it clearly, as you are beginning to do.

If you already haven’t figured it out, I would caution against this. As you may have already figured out, by experience, society has built into it a self-policing subconscious trigger, and when you suggest that things may not be as they seem, this trigger is tripped, and any socially-programmed individual will try to fervently correct you, and place you safely back in the fold. It is a knee-jerk reaction to a lifetime of programming, and this is so ingrained, that they feel obligated to do so, as if their very life depended on it.

In many cases, someone gets a glimpse of what’s behind the veil, they share it with someone they know and trust, and BAM! They get attacked, ridiculed, called a fool, threatened with mental illness diagnosis, exile, or imprisonment. It’s no surprise when they slip back into the life they were programmed to live since birth. This is the only way to feel supported by one’s family and peers, there’s a sense of safety and security there. This social structure is very effective and every bit as real as any prison, only better; because it’s invisible and only exists in the mind.

But if you are somewhat stealthy, you can exist among your family and peers, while becoming more aware, expanding and evolving without much trouble. Still there remains an urge inside you to share what you are learning, which is what we all want to do, but be careful.

Early believers have had this problem when getting excited about sharing their faith with others, and there are many religious passages warning believers that non-believers will not be able to hear them, nor understand them. It’s as if the non-believers speak a different language and are unable to understand what you are trying to say. So, believers are instructed not to waste your efforts on whose who are incapable of hearing what you are saying.

But, then the texts go on to refer to those who are not only willing to listen to you, but a open, yearning and looking for the truth of the words that you long to share. These people represent the fertile soil waiting for your nurturing and will be part of the garden you will cultivate, which is part of your mission.

The urge to share what you’re learning and to be able to grow among others who are like-minded is very natural and may very well be a part of your calling (and it probably is, or else you wouldn’t feel so compelled).

Likewise, those of us who doing the work, making the sacrifices, taking the risks and sharing our message; we, too are looking for individuals who would like to join us in spreading the word.

So, if that is you, and you are feeling this enthusiasm about joining the unveiling brigade of truth, then by all means, find someone you resonate with and join the team. Don’t be embarrassed about not feeling good enough, worthy enough, talented enough, or any of those other programs running in the background designed to keep your ideals hidden away and never shared.

Don’t let your voice be silenced. God gave you a voice, and a mission. You came to this planet with a divine assignment, and it’s up to you to take hold of it, embrace it and share it.

Find someone you resonate with (it doesn’t have to be me) and reach out to him or her. Send an email, a text, a letter by snail mail, or smoke signals… reach out and let them know you have a message. We are always looking for others who are willing to stand up and share the message of growing awareness, expansion, and evolution.

And if your first attempt appears to not be as good a fit as you thought, then find someone else you resonate with and offer to team up with that person. Keep doing this until you find someone, and if your message is so unique, that it’s difficult to find someone to team up with; no problem. Go it alone, and look for others who will be attracted to you and your message.

Do not be silent.

The world’s best symphonies are buried six feet under, never to be heard, because they did not exercise their gift and deliver their message to the world.

This is your time to share your mission with your voice.

Tell your story.

Take action, now.

Love’s Alchemy Turn Hate into Love

If you’re like me, even though I was raised in a time and atmosphere which promoted love heavily, there was still the propulsion of hate; hating him or her, hating this or that, hating “the man,” the establishment or the government.

Can hate and love co-exist?

Well, I think it can, but is that really our highest and best? Love is one of the highest vibrations, hate, on the other hand, resides among the lower rungs of the emotional ladder.

Love embraces, as hate pushes away. Love creates an atmosphere of caring, sharing and community, while hate promotes dissension and isolation.

What causes us to go to the place where hate resides?

I think initially, we start with anger, as we are distraught about not being respected for who we are, what we think or believe. When we see or hear about someone doing something we don’t like. When we are disrespected, or our ideas, thoughts or beliefs are not honored and discarded, we are selfishly appalled and angry about either not being heard, or witnessing some perceived criminal act. The refusal of someone to try to see a thing from our point of view, or act in a way which we respectfully conduct ourselves takes us to that angry place.

When this is met with fear of asserting our beliefs or standing up for ourselves (fear from punishment, lack of reward, loss of income, liberty, wellness, or life) we are resentful and angry. Left to itself, unexpressed anger about an injustice or disrespect can fuel the fire and lead to hate.

If we are empowered to express our disapproval in a manner which is respected, then we are less likely to allow the discomfort of the emotion to turn into hate. Once the pressure is relieved and we feel as though we’ve been heard, the emotional pain dissipates.

When we are not heard or boldly disrespected, our base instincts take us over and ready for war, to fight the self righteous battle for our right to be heard. This battle starts in the mind and may find a way to be expressed in the real world and can lead to outward expressions of havoc, protest, damaging physical property, physical abuse or murder.

Then there are the “Goody-goodies” out there proclaiming that we should, “love your enemies,” which is a far cry from any intuitive reaction to the feelings you may be experiencing at the time.

But there is a way to trade your hate for love, if you’re willing to look at things from a different perspective.

For instance, I can’t speak for you, but in my life, I have experienced a number of disappointments and oppression. I’ve been greatly disrespected, a victim of crimes, and been disrespected by people in authority, which had left me angry and face-to-face with hate in my heart. On the one hand, I have been there.

On the other hand, when I look back at all the injustices that justified the anger and hate that I endured in those most desperate of times, life had something far greater in store for me. I found that as I dealt with the pain of rejection, the anger and subsequent hate, and found ways to come to personal resolution, there was something so much better waiting for me on the other side of the pain, but I couldn’t see it. I was blinded by the pain.

From my current perspective, I can see that all those things that stressed me out so much, and caused me to lose myself and all my senses, were actually keys that unlocked doors leading to something so much better. I can see, now, that had I not gone through the pain of separation or humiliation, I would have never been at the right place in the right time to experience what life had in store for me.

If you can wrap your head around that idea, like I did, you can start to imagine that people or circumstances that you fight against, the things that make you angry and want to fight, may just be life trying to point you in another direction.
So, when the hair starts to stand up on the back of my neck, and I start to feel disrespected (even though I may be overcome by emotion or lose myself in the moment), I start to look around as soon as I am able to gain enough composure.
From this perspective you can begin to understand that this is not my enemy at all, while the intention of the adversary may actually be to do me harm, life has something far greater waiting in the wings.

And you can get to what is good, beautiful, loving and amazing in less time by not fighting the battle, which is only necessary in your own ignorance. Now, I am less apt to engage in the battle, and more apt to start looking for what life has in store for me, at the get-go.

So, you can love your enemy, because he/she or the circumstance is not an evil injustice, but life (or what I refer to as God) doing whatever it takes to get you back on the track to your highest and best. The painful experience of anger, hate and the ensuing battle, is only necessary, if you’re refusing to listen.

Instead or reaching for your weapons, think about listening to that still small voice, and look around…

Something so much better is waiting for you.

You are love’s alchemist. You can turn hate into love, if you choose to do so.

So bless your adversary, be thankful and express your gratitude and love for getting your attention, and blessing you with a better way, leading to greater support, love and charity.

There is a great love growing in you, and you will be given opportunities to express it, and you will.

Stop and Smell the Roses

When we’re conducting the business of just getting along in life, it’s easy to take the time to stop and smell the roses. Of course, it’s not just the roses, it’s all the things in life we take for granted. If you want to maximize the life you’re living, you can achieve so much more joy and satisfaction by savoring all the nuances that add the flavor to each day well lived.

Everyone has the same 86,400 seconds each day, how are you going to use yours. By paying attention to those subtle details, you can get so much more out of each minute of every day.

Technology has presented us with ample distraction as an effective way to keep our attention engaged, which keeps you from getting bored, but potentially at the expense of loss of quality of life, at least in the romantic sense of it.

Tablets, iPods, cell phones, television, streaming media, radio, iTunes, NetFlix, YouTube, computers, video games, signage, all clamoring for your attention, it’s nearly impossible to have a spare moment, when something is not trying to grasp your attention.

You’re lucky if you have the ability to unplug, sit down to enjoy a family meal without television, phones or other devices, or any of the other simple pleasures in life, such as taking a walk, or just sitting and enjoying a face-to-face talk, without the presence of devices.

Not to sound paranoid, but recently, I was having a face-to-face discussion with someone who mentioned a restaurant I’d never heard of. Later, when I picked up my phone, a pop-up ad for that restaurant showed up. Coincidence? I don’t know, just saying… ‘ere, I digress.

If you really want to get all that you can out of this life, you need to make room in your life, in your day, in the precious moments of this life, to allow life to emerge before you. Make or find moments where you can sit in silent repose, to reflect about yourself, what you want out of life. Think about the things that make you happy and the activities which bring you joy.

Maybe it’s time to put yourself back in the drivers’ seat of your life, and not let media, commercialism, or the powers-that-be control you and your thoughts. Is it time to pay attention to you, your self, your body, your life?

If it is, then start making time for looking after you. Make time to engage in the activities that make you feel good. Schedule your “me time” to do whatever it is that makes you happy. It could be as simple as taking a walk in the park, feeding the ducks, sitting on a park bench, listening to your favorite music, taking a nice soak in the bathtub, or engaging in a particular hobby. Whatever it is that brings you joy, make time for that.

And when your day has come to an end, and slumber is just around the corner, take time to review your day. What did it look like? Did you take out a little time for yourself? Did you get all the things done that you set out to do? Regardless of the answers, love and forgive yourself.

It’s a crazy world out there, and we’re all doing the best we can with what we have. That means, you, too. So lighten up and give yourself a break. Cut yourself some slack and remember that tomorrow is a fresh, new day.

If you’re like the rest of us, you’re juggling a world of potential activities and obligations. You can reduce some of the overwhelm and panic by making a list (which you can use old-school technology, such as paper and a writing instrument, or use your phone or other device that might be handy), and check off things as you do them. Don’t delete them, because there is satisfaction in the doing of it, so mark it as done. And if you don’t get a majority (or any) of the things done, “Oh well,” you did the best you could.

And if there’s something on your list of things to do, that you’d rather not do, then try to create an atmosphere that is fun or at least pleasant, so that you are making the best of it. This can make it appear to be less monotonous, if you can find a way to make it more entertaining, or to inject some joy in the atmosphere around the particular task.

For those who are maintaining a frantically paced workload, or prolonged period of focused attention on a particular task, learn to stop (stop) and take a break periodically. Get up and go to the bathroom, or stroll to the lunchroom, check out the parking lot, walk up and down a flight of stairs. Whatever you’re doing that is demanding your attention, make time for you, even if it’s only for a few (as few as two) minutes.

Commuters who spend a portion of their day in travel to and from work, or a job site, etc., find a way to break up the commute. Commute time is a great way to study and expand your mind by reading or listening (listening, if you’re driving) to positive information, but also think about breaking up the commute by pulling over, or stopping midway, to get out and stretch, and take the opportunity to allow your mind the opportunity to see or imagine something you might have overlooked amidst the hustle and bustle.

Think on those things that are good. Whenever you have the opportunity to think for yourself, make opportunities to reflect on all the good things this life has to offer. Think about how you might be able to make a contribution to your family or community that will have meaningful impact. Think about avoiding negative news, remain positive, and fill your thoughts with positive, enlightening ideals, while taking time to smell the roses every once and a while.

Fanning the Flame of Love in Life

Love is good; so good, in fact, that nothing truly satisfies nor is anything more long-lasting that love and its effects. Fanning the flame of love in life leads to a life that vibrates at such a high vibration that it attracts, even more, love into the life of the lover.

Although, we must establish that we’re talking about love in its highest form, not as the lower version of itself associated with sex and romance, but the higher expression of love for the world and mankind, which can overflow into romantic love if you’re maintaining your vibration at this higher level.

If you are one of these highly vibrating loving individuals, those in your presence and the community surrounding you are blessed to have you present. Not to mention the benefits you will enjoy from living a life of love.

Not only are you enjoying a more positive life and lifestyle, but your body gets the benefit of these higher vibrations which enhances your immune system and helps the body to operate more efficiently. These individuals look younger and live longer, more productive lives, an enjoying more satisfaction and happiness.

These life lovers are often found exposing themselves to and embracing the ideals behind more positive trains of thought. They tend to be more supportive, ambitious and optimistic.

These are the folks who have heart and minds filled with love and all the good things this life has to offer.

So, how can you join the wave of people who are embracing this lifestyle of love and life?

You can start with your head and your heart will follow. Start finding books, audios, videos, anything you can, full of the message of love and all the good things this life has to offer. Be willing to silence that sarcastic inner voice that would seek to destroy any good thing that might be on its way to you.

Limit the negative media and influence for a while, just cease to engage with it at all, if you can, as you expose yourself to more inspirational people, messages, ideals, and mindsets.

Therefore, you will be filled with good thoughts that inspire you. You also have a chance to absorb good vibrations transmitted if you find yourself amongst inspirational people.

Another incredible benefit of embracing a life of love is that you have more resources available to you for handling issues that arise or unexpected circumstances that would otherwise catch you by surprise of derailing you altogether.

You are more likely more resilient and capable of keeping your head up and continue to make your stand for what you believe in rather sink, succumb to compromise, or self-martyrdom.

And as you are able to wrap your mind around the idea of love, loving and your heart overflow with love, you gain the ability to see through the eyes of love. With these eyes, the eyes of love, you can see people not as other people do, or like you might have seen them before. You see them and their relationship with love, which might be lacking. This also gives you insights to other people and how the act or react with life. You can remember when you used to do the same thing.

Love makes you more empathetic to others who are not able to even conceive of the idea of living in love’s vibration.

You will also have a higher appreciation for the love that others are able to give, in the only ways they know how to, endearing you more to family members and others who reach out in love, in the best ways that they can.

It gets a little distorted when you incorporate the love of another in a romantic relationship. Of course, you know that you can’t love someone else unless you love yourself first. Even so, if you thought you had a high level of self-love nailed down, then it would stand to reason that loving someone else should come easily. Right?

Well, that’s where it takes a little more specialization in your loving life, experience and integrating your love, romantically shared with another person.

That’s why we suggest considering an event, like the Awakening to True Love Workshop, to help smooth out some of those rough edges and paving the way for two becoming one, without sacrificing and maintaining your independence at the same time.

It’s a delicate balance, but it pays off a hundredfold by taking your love to places you’d never thought possible.

Leaving the Old Hood And Make New Friends

At some point, you’re going to have to get out, leaving the old hood and make new friends, especially if you’re taking your life in a new direction.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve worked with someone who wanted to start a new life, going in a completely different direction, and ended up falling right back into the old life patterns because they didn’t change the kinds of people they were around.

I know you’ve seen it, too. It’s like you can’t overcome the power of “the hood.” The hood represents your old neighborhood, and old support system, populated by people who do not want you to change. They want you to keep your old life and be the old you.

If you really want to break free from your old life, you’re going to have to reach out and meet new people, and if being gregarious and inviting new people to participate in your life does not come easily to you, you can still do the work of reaching out to people outside the influence of your former neighborhood (which could represent your actual neighborhood, your family, former friends, coworkers, or other social networks).

If it’s not coming easy for you, you can practice meeting new people by placing yourself amidst people you would not otherwise have access to. You can check out the events section of the newspaper, or other media to make yourself aware of events happening in your area. Pick one. Show up and set out to exchange contact information with one new person from a different hood. Then pick another event. This time meet two new people, adding one more person to each successive event. It will be awkward at first but it gets better and easier the more you do it.

Don’t wait for someone else to create the kind of event you’d like to attend. Think about being bold enough to sponsor your own meet and greet. Put together an event that will benefit others who are the kind of people you’d like to meet. These could be people who share the same interests in hobbies, career, personal growth or development, anything, really, that could be the common thread. And you get celebrated for being the conduit that connects these people to each other.

You can connect to like-minded people via social media. If you’ve already been active in social media and have it heavily populated with your old hood, think about creating a new profile, that represents the new you, and start exposing yourself and attracting a new audience.

Sharing your ideas and adding value to your new social network can be priceless. Think about making positive, powerful posts that will appeal to your new audience, and even think of creating live streaming videos that will add value and attract the kinds of people you want to hang with.

You don’t always have to be responsible for what you share or stream live You can ask some of the other people you’re meeting to share via your channel. Many people will be willing to do this in an effort to broaden their reach and you are offering a great benefit to your growing audience.

Online forums can be a good way to offer help and add value to others. It can go both ways, you can offer support and also get access to information happening in real time that could give you insight into new trends and help you to come up with new ideas.

You could access an existing group meeting by checking out what’s available in your local area via Meetup.com. Perusing this site for meetups in your area, either by the computer, or convenient phone app, might just do the trick for exposing yourself to new people. There are meetups happening around us all the time, and if you’re having trouble finding the right fit for you, think about starting your own meetup.

Volunteering to support an organization for an event or fundraiser can be huge in exposing you to new people. Plus, there’s no better way to support others without costing you a dime, if you have the time to offer your support to some worthy cause. If you’re attending an event, try finding out who’s in charge and offer to lend a hand for the next event.

If the event you’re attending features presentations by various “experts” in a particular field, if you feel comfortable with the idea, you could offer to be a speaker at a future event. If you find yourself scheduled for such a gig, try to be prepared. Acquaint yourself with your subject and be prepared to answer questions, and if you don’t know the answer, defer with an, “I don’t know, but I will find out and get back to you on that,” type of response. Remember people respect the idea that you’re stepping out and taking a chance at trying something new, so make that known from the outset, people will listen attentively if you approach them with humility and they are more likely to want to support you.

If you’re attending an event and exposing yourself to a new audience, try to acquaint yourself with the type of folks who might be attending the event, so that you’re not likely to stick out, like a sore thumb. If the group is predominantly men, and you’re a woman, you might want to keep looking for another event, or at least to be forewarned and prepared to be surrounded by the opposite sex. It might be a good idea to make yourself aware of the general age of the group in attendance, the average educational background, political, or religious affiliation, or other demographic information so that you can be prepared to better fit in.

Armed with information about what kind of people you will be meeting at any given event will give you time to prepare. Have some questions in mind to ask of the people in attendance. Asking questions is a great way to get to know someone and most people like to be asked questions because it adds value to what they have to offer. You never know, someone might be willing to take you under their wing to show you the ropes.

You want to be a sponge, absorbing new information, but you also want to contribute more than you receive. Be sure to give others your best stuff, and they will respect your contribution to the greater community. Be humble, open, honest and supportive, making sure that people know how they can contact you if they would like further access to you in the future.

If you are having second thoughts about reaching out to new people, it’s probably just your fear of the unknown, because you haven’t done it before. Trust me, the more you do it, the easier it gets. Just be certain not to act like a big shot or know-it-all. People appreciate someone who is humble, open, honest and somewhat curious (but not too inquisitive).

Once you start getting out there and meeting new people, you will find yourself having access to new information you would have never had access to otherwise, and you will find yourself making new acquaintances and friends who are the kind of people who will support your new life.

Don’t take it too seriously and look for the good in all things.

Put the Sexy in Success

In the event that you’d like to make a contribution to your community to help make the world a better place, you might need to find ways to maximize your potential. You will need to find your source of motivation and learn to focus on what it is that you’d like to achieve.

Its fairly easy to imagine the endgame, because you pretty much know what you’d like your contribution to look like, but how do you get there from here? Especially with all the distractions that you face every day. You have a constant barrage of media, devices and the ongoing struggles of life to deal with. How could you ever find the time for the doingness necessary to get something done for the greater good?

First of all, your brain is preoccupied with the needs of your body, and will seek to get your needs satisfied first, and it doesn’t always have your best interests at heart. The struggle for survival, and the potential worrying about it, is one of its primary functions, followed by finding things that feel good, or avoid pain.

Oh, your mind means well, it knows that watching TV feels better than doing homework, a mocha tastes better than lemon water, shopping is more fun than exercising, interacting on social media is better than networking, cake tastes better than raw veggies, and YouTube videos are more entertaining than journaling.

That’s why it’s going to take a conscious effort, care and diligence to get you from where you are to where you want to be. How can you possibly take control of your body and mind stuck in the rapid flow of life’s torrential stream?

Your mind sees anything that resembles work as drudgery. It sees no value in working your day job, except that it is necessary for survival. It will allow you to do what you need to do, but is keenly aware of the approaching lunch breaks or the final tick of the clock indicating that this day is finally over.

You’re going to have to find ways to convince your mind that the things you want to accomplish are meaningful and important enough to make the sacrifices necessary to get some done. Otherwise, the things you want to do to serve the greater community are going to look like more work.

Put the Sexy in Success

What does your mind find gratifying? Entertainment, activities that make you feel good, decorating or finding beauty in your home or surroundings, getting admiration from the opposite sex, and being recognized for doing something good or meaningful, are probably on the top of your list.

Finding ways to connect what you want to accomplish to those things that already fire off those pleasurable synapses in your brain will persuade your mind to support what it is that you want to do.

Don’t allow what you must do to make it happen to look like work. Work is boring. Instead, find ways to make working toward your goal empowering, gorgeous, sexy and delicious. Know that doing the work that is necessary to get from here will give you a great sense of accomplishment, establishing your authority and recognition for your invaluable contribution.

An excellent tool you can use to bridge the gap between here and there is found in something that only we have as humans on this planet, and that is the ability to visualize anything we want using our imagination. For instance, if you were to imagine cutting a lemon in half and taking a big bite out of the center of that imaginary lemon, you’re probably going to find yourself salivating. But there is no lemon. It’s all in your mind. But your visualization of it made your body react as if it was happening in real life.

You can use this same technique to find motivation for accomplishing the necessary steps to achieve your goals and ultimately make the world a better place. Your mind is a powerful manifestation machine and its natural inclination to move away from what you don’t want and toward what makes you feel good, is a tool you can use for your benefit.

Using the power of your mind to visualize you doing the things you must do as being beautiful, sexy, and any other manifestation that makes you feel amazing, even orgasmic, can do the trick. If you can associate doing the things you need to do with the best, most amazing feelings you can imagine, will help motivate you and convince your mind that this is not work, at least not in the mundane, daily grind sense. No this is exciting and the rewards are incredible.

Our head can also wrap its mind around the idea of sacrificing for a period of time to achieve an excellent result later. Like dieting or working out at the gym three times a week (or more) to be more appealing to the opposite sex. You might not like it, but your mind might be willing to make the sacrifice in the interim to achieve the payoff later. As soon as you start to see the results (the extra attention), the easier it is to keep going.

So, you can do the same thing using the same donkey-and-carrot visualization and apply it to your efforts to make your contribution to the planet.

Develop a vision of you achieving your highest and best and see in your mind’s eye the impact having accomplished all that you want to do has had on the world. See and feel the gratitude of others you have blessed with your efforts. You, no doubt, can think of people who have made a significant contribution by doing something (even small but) significant that has had huge impact on society (like refusing to sit in the back of the bus), and they were recognized for making a difference.

See yourself as being recognized and remembered for your contribution.

When you start to sense feeling like whatever you’re doing to accomplish your goals is boring or feeling like work, find ways to connect the dots with the pleasure centers of your brain and make it as exhilarating as possible, and find and embrace the passion and joy inside as you achieve your highest and best and make the world a better place.

You’re Addicted to Fun

Might as well face it, you’re addicted to fun

You’re obsessed with the feelings associated with pleasure and happiness. You can function while you’re at work, but pretty much all you think about when your mind is not focused on work or problem solving is,

What am I going to do, who can I see, where can I go to get my next happy feeling?

Interestingly, the more difficult your next happy fix is, the higher (happier) it will make you feel. On the other hand, if you’re unable to participate in that difficult scenario, you’re going to feel bad, angry or depressed for not being able to do it.

It’s not enough just to do or have whatever it is that will make you happy; you derive even more pleasure from having it first. Buying the ticket, getting the latest tech gear, fashion bag, or collectible, etc. Getting these things make you happy, but being the first to get it, makes you feel even better.

This applies also to the people in your life. You judge people by how fun they are to be around, how happy they make you feel. The more fun they are, the more apt you are to go to great lengths to keep them around. If they’re a bummer, or a downer, you are less likely to have the time for them.

You love to collect things. If you’ve found owning a particular type of product has made you happy, you’re likely to get more of them, thinking the more you have, the better you’ll feel. This applies to people in your life, as well.

You know what you want, and you want it now. And you will compromise, throw caution to the wind, put relationships at risk, or suffer financial hardship for getting it now, with as little effort as possible.

Want to see where your loyalties are? Check your bank statement. You will find your pursuit of fun clearly indicated on your balance sheet, and might be inclined to rack up credit card debt to have the fun you so desperately desire.

Your moral compass might also be at risk as you try to find less scrupulous, or questionable (if not illegal), methods to finance your need of happiness.

You spend sleepless nights obsessing about the next shiny object, and the thought of it dominates your otherwise idle thoughts throughout your day. You know that if you can get this thing, you will be so happy, but after you get it… it just lacks the shimmer that you thought it would have.

When your latest acquisition does not meet your expectations (make you as happy as you thought it would) you’re going to reject it, put it down, possibly attack yourself (or someone else) for being responsible for your disappointment. You might take it back, demanding a refund. Or try to find a way to recapture the loss of money, time, or make a new (or better) friend who will make you happier than one you might have discarded.

You often compare what you have to what someone else has. You achieve a sense of joy from having something better than someone else, and when you find someone with something even better than you, your happiness about the particular item you have begins to fade.

Everything and everyone that surrounds you in your life supplies you in some way for your need to be happy. If someone, or something, fails to do so, it is quickly discarded.

Fear of loss will find you jumping through hoops, and making sacrifices, to sustain your long-term happiness provided by any activity, person or object. Since you are always concerned with maintaining all the things that make you happy, and little else, you have few resources or energy to devote to more meaningful activities or your loved ones.

You find yourself afraid of boredom. If you are not in a state of happiness, you get anxious because the withdrawal from your state of happiness is depressing, makes you feel like you’re imprisoned, can’t breathe, sad, lonely, or depressed.

You would rather risk all, sacrificing financial strain, loss of support, not following through on social commitments, humiliation, whatever it takes to prevent your dejected state of unhappiness. Your schooling or job may be at risk as the stress of trying to find ways to support your happiness become more elusive. Being unable to live in the now, or focus on the tasks at hand, can result in demotion, poor grades, or exclusion.

Your spiritual quest is one which must also support your need to feel joy and/or a sense of superiority. Your faith may help to mitigate the damages of the sacrifices you’ve made, or losses you’ve suffered in your attempt to maintain your happiness. The idea of making the world a better place appeals to you, but you’re unwilling or unable to do the work necessary to make the difference, but your recognition for supporting others doing the work, can bring a sense of accomplishment, gleaning what credit you can for their efforts.

Your attempt to fill the void with activities, material possessions, food or people will never satisfy, and will always see you wanting more. You will always be in search of the next car, trip, event, phone, gadget, handbag, bobble, restaurant meal, drink, orgasm or ten pound weight loss. And none of it will give you what you’re looking for.

Just as with other addictions, denial seems to be the first order of business as the addict protests with phrases, like, “I’m just enjoying life. What’s wrong with that?” Justifying, with statements, like, “Everyone else does it.” Or claiming not to be a slave to their uncontrollable behavior, by saying, “I can quit whenever I want.”