Tag: ability to change

They Will Never Change

You know who I’m talking about. The person you’ve cared about, probably sacrificed for, because you believed that he or she could change, then he of she failed. Fell off the pedestal you’d built, came crashing to the ground with all his or her shortcomings intact, cementing your original thought, “They will never change.”

As much as that seems so very true, in the work that I do, I am in the unique position to see people change every day. Sometimes the change is slight, and other times that change is drastic. You might not even be able to recognize the person you once knew, the change was so dramatic.

Even though people can and do change, there is someone who comes to mind, right now, whom you know has told you that he or she would change in a sense to accommodate you. Promises were made, you believed. You believed so much that you couldn’t question or imagine that change was not imminent.

Now, here we are, again. The person you trusted, the one that promised the change would be irrevocably long-lasting. Again, you believed this time would be the real thing, yet here we are once again, and you feel betrayed.

You start singing that same ol’ song, “They will never change,” a sort of self-fulfilling prophesy, and based on your research and your results, you are absolutely right, they never change. No matter what they say or do to convince you otherwise, a leopard can never change its spots.

Who do you think is as fault, You? Or the Leopard?

There comes a time in an enlightened individual’s journey where you accept the idea that,

No one is broken, and no one needs to change.

Everyone is perfect just the way they are for where they are on their journey. Period. Nobody needs to be any different than they are right now, and if they needed to change, they would change on their own behalf.

People want to be wanted, loved, accepted, and – believe it or not – there are also people who need you, want to use you, exploit you, or mean you harm. Sometimes, because of your loving heart, your intuition fails you. Your desire to see the best in someone can override your better judgment.

Since it is impossible to know what is going on inside someone’s head (just like no one can know what is going on inside yours, when you’re silently thinking, daydreaming, attempting to go to sleep, or while you are asleep), it’s so hard to know what someone’s true motivation is, when they make a promise to change.

It is unrealistic, if not just wrong, to expect someone to make a change on your behalf.

On the other hand, people do change for a variety of reasons, out of obligation, love, respect, or fear of punishment. So, it’s not unreasonable to ask someone to change for you, but it may be too much to expect someone to be able to do it, when you would like to see the change take place.

People change when they want to change, and not until then. Sometimes just asking someone is enough. Maybe the thing you’re asking for is something they are ready to accommodate at this time. If it is not the right time, and you have high expectations that a change has been made, and it hasn’t, you may be shocked when you see the offense take place before your very eyes.

Since I’m in the change business, this one client came to me on and off for nine years because he wanted to make a particular change. He really did, but he wasn’t really ready to actually make the change. Thirty years later he looked me up and thanked me for my preliminary support in those early days of struggle. He intimated that several years ago he awoke one day changed without any effort whatsoever, and he has never gone back since. His time had come.

There’s no harm in asking someone to change to accommodate your desires. Either they will or they won’t, based on any of millions of reasons.

To think (or to say out loud), “They will never change,” is probably not true because it doesn’t allow for those who do.

Even people you think would never change; the cheaters, alcoholics, addicts, criminals, and, yes, even sex offenders do change. You can’t just blame it on genetic disposition, bad parenting, or brain chemistry because people with characteristics that are hard-coded in their personality without hope, change. When they are ready. If they are not ready, they will not.

You may not like it, but you must bless them as they walk their own path in their own way. After all, they are just doing the best they can with what they have, as are you and everyone else.

Turn Over a New Leaf

So, you’ve taken a look at your life until now, and after a brief review, you come to the conclusion that you’re ready to turn over a new leaf. Looking back, you realize there were a great many things you could have done better, and that your life would be far more miraculous if you start living your life in a better way. Now’s as good a time as any to make the changes necessary for you to turn over a new leaf.

The two keys to successfully turning over a new leaf are taking inspired action and to keep moving ahead to get to the new-improved you and the vastly better life which is waiting for you and may very well be the keys to begin to achieve your highest and best potential.

Inspired Action

While the idea of inspired action seems simple enough, it encompasses a great many sacred components which will empower your ability to change your life miraculously. We all know the idea of cause and effect which supports the idea that any action will cause a resulting reaction which changes your life. You can easily look back at your life and see this is true.

Instead of taking action, which will change your life, taking inspired action will always change your life for the better.

Keep in mind that change can be messy, and sometimes to make a change you may have to experience some discomfort to get you to the right place and time to move in a decidedly different direction. It can be awkward and painful, but if the action you’re taking is inspired, you will find yourself in a far better position to move forward to the life you both want and deserve.

Inspired action should be taken without negative motivation. If you are taking action in anger or to get revenge, there is no chance of it being inspired. Rethink your underlying motive before making any major changes.

Inspired action is not taken due to lack, need to change, or have what you don’t already possess. Inspired action comes with a sense of excitement without expectations attached to it. Inspired action is not about trying to make something happen, more it is about creating new opportunities for new things to unfold before your very eyes.

Inspired action takes courage but is not fear-based action, though there may (and probably should be) some trepidation or fear about taking a huge step outside your comfort zone. As with all huge advances in personal growth and change, there is going to be some fear of the unknown. But as any of us, or even you, can attest, all the biggest and best advances in life come from stepping out in faith.

The potential for miraculous results grows exponentially the further away from your safety zone you veer. God and all the potentialities of love’s pure energy go to work to vector-in a whole new variety of supporting energies and players to support your stepping out in faith, as you in effect leave the old hood and make new friends.

Keep Moving

Once you’ve taken a step in faith, no matter how great or minuscule, the key is to keep going. Keep taking additional steps toward your something new, and something new, exciting and unimaginable begins to unfold before your very eyes.

Failing to continue to move will leads to complacency and stagnation, then “home” the place you’ve taken inspired action to move on from begins to look like someplace you might like to return to.

If you do fall back into the same ol’ same ol’ know that the opportunity for you to turn over a new leaf never goes away. Maybe now, is not the time for you. Try again when you are inspired to try something new.

Your Life is the Result of the Choices You Make

If you look around you, your life is the result of the choices you make, the friends you have, your income level, the home you live in, the amount of happiness you enjoy every day, all are a perfect match to you and your vibration.

Your life is the result of the choices you make. You might not always get what you want, but you always get what you’ve invited or created. Your life presents you with everything you need for your personal, professional, and spiritual growth. Always perfectly matched.

You may reject this idea on the surface, thinking, “That’s not true, I want more.” Even this wanting of something different, something more, is a perfect match for you. These desires feel like you wanting something else, but it’s really something else which wants to reveal itself to you. All of the things you want are already there, waiting to present themselves to you.

Your wanting has already manifested all the desires of your heart. Everything you’ve ever wanted is already there, not far off, waiting for you to become a vibrational match for it, then it will be revealed to you in all its fullest capacity.

Do you want a better life? It is there. A better car, education, social network, lover, friends, cash flow, whatever you strongly desire, it is already yours. Only one thing stands between you and everything you want, and that thing is you.

Your life is the result of the choices you make which set the tone of your vibration. You cannot have what you want if you don’t change your vibration, to become a better match for that which you seek.

Now, you can, with your determination, persistence, and through the strength of your own flesh cause certain things in your life to be had through strain and struggle. When you get what you want through brute force, those things you desire will satisfy your longing for a moment, but this satisfaction will fade quickly, leaving you to want something more, and you may not be able to sustain the having of it without some stress or difficulty.

When you are a vibrational match for something and it manifests itself to you, there is a peace and calm that comes with the having of it. You know it was always there, and you were the recipient of it at the perfect time in the perfect place.

You must start to change the choices you make in life to affect your life in such a way that your life changes, becomes a better match to what your heart is calling you to, if you want to see everything you want to come to you naturally and easily. That’s how to get what you want.

By not making new choices, and making the changes necessary to change your vibration, you will see the same old life presenting itself to you, over and over again. Endless cycles of dissatisfaction and all your best efforts to make your life appear to be everything you want will not satisfy, ever.

Every day, you are presented with opportunities to make a new choice that will change your vibration and your life. When you choose based on your current vibration, your life stays the same. Your vibration is affirmed and strengthened.

When you are presented with the opportunity to make a new choice, and you make your normal choice, that opportunity is removed from your potentiality. Don’t go chasing after it. It’s too late. A new opportunity will present itself, and it will be even better for you, offering you even more of what you want as you raise your vibration to love and above.

Make a new choice and instantly your vibration changes to match your new choice. Keep making new choices and you change your vibration. The more you establish your new vibration the more your life changes to match your new vibration.

This is the process of your growth leading to evolution and expansion which will cause the desires of your heart to appear to you in divine order, without stress, strain, or dissatisfaction.

Your new life is waiting for you to step into it.

Make a new choice today, do something different, and your life changes accordingly.

The Scorpion and the Frog

While I have spent my life in the support of empowering people to change their lives for the better, there are some people who simply cannot or will not change.

Only an individual can choose to do the work of creating massive change in their lives. I see it all the time, alcoholics and drug addicts stop being slaves to their substances. Victims of childhood abuse, leave their propensity for violence behind, becoming loving and supportive members of society. Criminals become law-abiding citizens, and the poverty-stricken change their lives and become highly prosperous.

Even diseased or disabled patients, find ways to heal themselves, saying, “Goodbye,” to their maladies, once and for all, living long, healthy, and wildly satisfying lives.

Nobody knows the capacity for a person to change their lives more than I, yet, even so, there are some people who are incapable of doing the work necessary to change.

Which reminds me of a contemporary fable of,

The Scorpion and the Frog

In the story of the scorpion and the frog, a frog meets a scorpion on the side of a riverbank. The scorpion wants to reach the other side to save his family, but there is no way to get across for him because scorpions are unable to swim.

The scorpion comes upon a frog and beckons him to engage in conversation, but the frog is apprehensive, thinking this might be a trap because scorpions prey on frogs.

The scorpion assures the frog that no harm will come to the frog because the scorpion must make it to the other side of the river to save his family, and since the frog can swim, he could offer the scorpion safe passage to the opposing river bank by allowing the scorpion to ride on the frog’s back to cross the river.

The frog asks, “How will I know you won’t sting me and kill me?”

“Because” answers the frog, “I need your skills of swimming to get me to the other side to save my family. If I were to sting you, and you were to die, I might not be able to make it to my family in time to rescue them.”

The frog and the scorpion make a bargain and agree to enter into a contractual agreement where the scorpion vows not to harm the frog.

So, the scorpion crawls onto the back of the frog and the frog starts to swim across the river.

All is going well, then about halfway across the river, the scorpion stings the frog.

The dying frog screams at the scorpion, “I am going to die, you are going to drown, and your family will suffer peril! Why would you do that?”

To which the scorpion replies, “Sorry, I couldn’t help myself. After all, I am a scorpion. It’s just the way I am.”

The frog dies and the scorpion drowns.

Unfortunately, no matter how much you might like someone that you care about to change, you cannot do it for them. You cannot make someone change when they do not have the inclination or capacity for change.

Do not bargain or enter into contractual agreements for change of another person because you cannot make anyone change. Certainly, people are capable of changing, but the choice to go about doing the work relies solely on their ability and commitment to themselves.

Sometimes, the threat of loss can help to motivate someone to change, but even so, the process of actually making the necessary changes falls on the person who you might like to see change.

Don’t be surprised when someone breaks their commitment to you with little remorse, only offering an irreverent, “It’s just the way I am.” After all, he or she couldn’t help him- or herself,  as it was simply a part of his or her undeniable nature, he or she was a scorpion.