tolerance | David M Masters

Polarization and Entitlement

“Me, me, me. Mine, mine, mine.” It starts at a very early age, and if left to itself, this polarization and entitlement can expand and grow, like a cancer, infecting our society. With 7.4 billion people on our planet, we should start to find ways to coexist with less conflict.

You might be able to recognize the adult signs of polarization and entitlement and choose to be part of the solution for a better world.

I am the victim

“You don’t understand, I am the victim, here.”

When you see yourself as the victim of some kind of abuse, mistreatment or lack of respect, you polarize yourself away from the subject (person, place or thing) that has “wronged” you and greatly reduce the ability to resolve the issue without conflict. You have drawn the proverbial line in the sand and declared war on the situation.

Any further conversation or negotiation from this point forward will be in the form of debate. You post up and ready yourself for battle and start building your case to establish your affirmative position while imposing your view of how you have been harmed or disrespected. You are ready to fight.

You don’t know me

“You have no idea about who I am, or the life I’ve lived.”

To assume that no one understands me, my plight or my perspective, implies that it makes a difference. Of course, it is actually impossible for m to actually see anything from your perspective – you might be able to give me clues – but it is simply not possible. All of us are completely unique. Though we may share some things in common, no person can truly see anything from anyone else’s perspective (unless we can figure out how to do the Vulcan mind-meld) and at times, we all feel like a Stranger in a Strange Land.

Don’t trust anyone

“I don’t trust you. I don’t trust anyone.”

When I was young, I trusted people. If I’ve learned one thing in my life, it’s that you can’t trust anyone – I don’t care who you are – I cannot, and will not, trust anyone ever again, as long as I live.

Everyone is out to get me

“People are always trying to find new ways to put me down.”

Rarely does a day go by (or a moment, for that matter) that someone doesn’t disrespect me, falsely accuse or belittle me. I am an adult, I have rights and I demand to be treated fairly.

Sense of entitlement

“You owe me. I demand to be taken care of.”

Whether it is being respected, heard, vindicated or to exercise vengeance, my expression must win out and any and all resources available can be called upon to satisfy my basic needs, desires or initiatives.

The idea that everyone should be the same; treated the same, the world is somehow responsible for catering to your every need or whim and your knowledge of how to manipulate the system to get you what you want (for the most part) satisfies your basic need(s).

Stop Intolerance

If you want to live a full and free life, full of happiness and satisfaction (with a little disharmony thrown in for flavor and personal growth) you must stop polarizing yourself against others.

Once you hold fast to the idea that it’s me versus them, you have created an impossible situation that feeds the victim mentality and breeds discord.

It is not until we can wrap our heads around the idea that we are more the same than we are different. Instead of demanding our differences be recognized and respected, realizing – we are all human beings, sharing what resources are available, each making our own way, doing the best we can with what we have – we are all the same, and I love and respect you as much as I’d like to be loved and respected.

Sure, we love those things that create our own uniqueness and celebrate our individuality among the rest of us. We all have the right to our own ideas, ideals, philosophies, beliefs and those characteristics that make us different, but to impose them on anyone else would be disrespectful. Can’t we all just get along?

Tolerance suggests that we all have the inalienable right to think or believe whatever we want, as long as it doesn’t interfere with anyone else’s right to the same.

Barney said it best:

I love you
You love me
We’re a happy family

Until we can love and be loved – allowing each individual their right to their own perspective, without having to defend it – will we see true harmony in our society and/or the world.

Spiritual Awakening

It’s happening all around us, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, people are waking up from a spiritual slumber that has plagued our planet and stunted our evolution for thousands of years.

And guess what? God doesn’t care who you are, what stature you occupy in society, how educated you are, where you’ve come from or where you think you’re going, and He’s got your back one hundred percent.

What do you have to do to be part of this spiritual enlightenment?

A hundred different spiritual leaders will tell you 100 different answers to “What is spirituality? or how to grow spiritually breaking through to the next level of spiritual growth.

The truth of the matter is this:

It’s not that complicated.

All you have to do is to embrace the spiritual science that surrounds each and every one of us, acknowledging the spiritual energy that flows through every cell of our body and every living (and non-living, if there is such a thing) thing on this planet and throughout our universe. This includes the space (that we think is empty) is completely populated with this spiritual energy.

Spiritual Energy

If God is energy, then all you have to do is to plug in to the energy. Once you’ve established a spiritual connection with God, the source of everything, you immediately have access and can begin your personal spiritual journey.

Spiritual Journey

Your spiritual journey will look much different from the journey that you had previously found yourself on. As your spiritual awareness begins to become more adept at piquing your interest and ramping up your spiritual intuition, you will begin to notice the things of this world begin to appear very different to you. As your awareness of the spirit world continues to increase your sense of truth, as you peel back the layers of ambiguity that surrounds those lost in the darkness, a calm sense of spiritual intelligence begins to emerge.

Once you have decided to travel your own individual path to your unique spiritual enlightenment, you will begin to attract spiritual leaders, with their own individual spiritual systems that have helped them get to where they are along their spiritual journey.

Spiritual Guidance

Your spiritual calling is not to follow some other spiritual leader’s footsteps. Your spiritual journey has not mirrored anyone else’s journey step-for-step, why should you start now. No, God has placed these individuals to give you clues. Clues about where you are going, and understand how someone else on their path has achieved their own individual spiritual empowerment can be very helpful in your navigating your own spiritual journey.

Your spiritual guidance system is a part of you, who you are. You are hardwired to be a part of the spiritual evolution that is visiting the peoples of our planet and you are perfectly on track, in the right place at the right time as you find peace in the realization that everything is perfect and connected.

Spiritual Power

Your new spiritual life will not be without conflict. As you begin your spiritual metamorphosis, you will attract both earthly and spiritual forces intent on thwarting your spiritual progress. This is a challenge of spiritual warfare that faces each and every spiritual traveler, paving their own way.

This process includes imbuing your personal nervous system, mind, body and soul with an unparalleled spiritual power to assist you as you embark upon your new spiritual journey.

You may encounter various and sundry forms of spiritual attack and you will find that God has already provided you with ample resources back by His holy spirit gifting you with spiritual gifts and weapons far superior than any man, principality or power can devise to prevent your spiritual development. If called to engage in spiritual battle, you will win, victorious as a testament to your individual spiritual beliefs.

Spiritual Science

As you are further spiritually awakened you discover your enlightenment is constant and never-ending and your spiritual consciousness reveals the secrets of the science of spirituality which far exceeds the science of man. Yet there exists a correlation between science and spirituality that the less enlightened cannot understand.

Spiritual Tolerance

And you find your new spiritual self okay with that, allowing every individual to embrace their own journey in their own way. You are respectful of those who have not awakened, or are only newly awakening spiritually, never judging or measuring anyone, nor comparing to your spiritual experience or spiritual practices for you allow everyone to be their own individual spiritual person.

You respect other’s right to express their spirituality and applaud them as they exercise their rights in any way they choose, as long as it does not impinge on the rights of another spiritual being. You do not hold any judgment, nor differentiate between religion and spirituality, because everyone is a spiritual being on their own spiritual journey, and they are all doing the best they can with what they have.

Your journey is one of growth and spiritual balance as you evolve spiritually moment by moment and continue your awakening spiritually.

God bless your continued evolution.

Let It Be

I remember a time when I was much more opinionated. Maybe that’s not correctly stated. I think what I meant to say was, there was a time when I felt as though more people should share the same opinions as me.

Even though I’ve always been quite tolerant, my evolution has me being even more tolerant these days, and my quality of life and happiness quotient is much higher than before.

Once you start allowing everyone to make their own way in the best way they can with the tools in their possession, you have the ability to let it be (breathe) and there is magic in the let-it-be mindset.

Whether you’re in a romantic relationship, a business meeting, classroom, church, boot camp, climbing the corporate ladder, on any team from sports to Navy Seals, etc… there is magic in being able to state your case and let it be.

I’ve come to realize that any situation can have thousands of different potential ways that the details can play out with just as many varied results and what I’ve found (from experience and experimentation) is everything always works out for the best; even if it looks like the most horrible thing one could ever imagine is happening; the resulting effects are beneficial (either for the individual or the greater community). It doesn’t mean that a particular act or circumstance is not wrong – it very well could be – but the result serves a purpose that is beneficial.

Some of our historical martyrs were tortured and suffered greatly, yet in the moment – as bad as it was – they knew their circumstance served a greater good.

There is a simple principle that you get what you give. That is to say, if you are not tolerant with others (allowing them to live their lives in the best way they can with the tools they possess) then how could you possibly expect them to allow you to make decisions in your best interest and live the life you desire?

Not gonna happen.

I’ve found that simply stating my position while being frank, honest and open, then backing away is highly effective, both for my own state of mind and is a better form of service to others. I usually ask permission, first, like, “Can I be perfectly honest and transparent, here?” (pause) “Would that be okay?” Then I wait until I get acknowledgement from everyone in the room (even if it’s only one other person), then I say what’s on my mind.

If I am challenged, I don’t enter into an argument to defend my position. My position is only my position. I’m not saying that it’s right or wrong, it is only my opinion. It’s up to the other party (or parties) to figure out what to do with my statement – or not – whether to consider or ignore what I have to say. The more intellectual and savvy communicators may ask for clarification to better understand my position, which I will offer up to make certain that I am clearly heard (or understood). This method can add an exciting though-provoking opportunity to any boardroom or active conversation.

Taking the High Road

This is part of taking the high road. It’s about letting other people who are prone to strife and discourse to enjoy themselves and the level of discomfort that resonates with them, where they are at in their life’s journey today. It is always subject to change, though their dysfunction (wrong word) “communication style” may last a lifetime.

Give What You Want

It takes practice, but consider giving what you want, and either you will get what you give back, or the situation will change so that you can get what you give.

I work with many people and every day someone uses words like,

I don’t like…
I’m sick and tired of…
I hate it when…
I can’t believe…
I’m so upset because…

All which represent intolerance. They imply an I’m-right-you’re-wrong mindset. Why does anybody have to be right or wrong? If you could consider a more heart-centered approach to the same circumstances alternate responses could be,

I like that you found an idea that resonates with you.

You have a consistency of thought that is undeniable and could be envied by many.

I love it when you state your opinion with such emotion. You are very powerful.

I believe that what you believe is coming straight from your heart.

I’m at peace with allowing you to maintain your position and the way that you feel about it.

Be Open to Change

I am in the change business, and I deal mostly with people in transition. If you’re not open to the idea of change at the moment this will sound totally ridiculous to you (what am I saying? If you’re not open, you probably would not have read this far).

So, you are open. You’re like the many people who are making transitions in their lives, and the people around them may not like the change, so you will experience some resistance. By accepting that resistance will be part of your growth and that some struggle may be necessary to break through to be where you want to be, to enjoy the better life you know is waiting for you… Is it too much to ask that you give what you want?

If you want others to let you be, then maybe it’s time to allow others to be the way they are, where they are in the moment.

Move forward. Keep moving. Respectfully state your case, when appropriate or necessary then resume your forward movement, more mindful to allow the magic of

Let it be

Should Believers be Bullying?

Question

a) How does it make you feel when someone tries to bully you or push their ideals or beliefs on you?

b) If someone strongly opposed something that you believed in, how likely would a disrespectful presentation sway your belief?

(Don’t answer in comments)

Think about it… Do you like to be bullied?

What about that person that is passionate about something that he/she believes in? He/she doesn’t know you and shares his/her perspective on an idea or concept that you don’t agree with. You listen, at first because you’re being kind and considerate.

Then when they get the idea that you do not agree with them… Here it comes: the onslaught of data, facts and figures to convince you that their beliefs are the only truth. Still you maintain the idea that you disagree with their point of view.

Now the passionate person escalates even more, resorts to name-calling and may even include veiled threats that your life – or the lives of your family and friends – might be at stake because you choose not to listen to his/her truth.

And that is an example of a passive response. What if you had decided to defend your point of view?

Now, it turns into a full on debate, which in some cases has escalated to fisticuffs and/or death; over what, differing opinions?

Debate has never converted anyone. All it does is to help build walls that turn into elaborate fortresses of information, data and hate in a desperate attempt to protect something that is believed in. Where does that get you?

People have shared ideas with me that – at the time – infuriated me because I felt as though they had just approached me with the most ridiculous idea; it went against everything that I knew and believed in. But I let them tell me their story out of my respect for their right to believe whatever they want.

Sometimes, in cases like this, we both walk away from the conversation the same way we came into it (maybe even thinking that they other person was a crack-pot)… then, something happens… days, weeks, months – maybe years – go by, and something that person said begins to make more sense to me than what I previously believed.

And that little seed that someone planted begins to sprout and grow… (Maybe not the way the person who originally shared the idea with me in the first place had intended) and I start to grow.

I’ll tell you what I like.

I like giving anyone enough space to express themselves respectfully. If I see them getting too excited (unless I’m enjoying their over-the-top expression) I might warn them that their delivery is getting in the way of their message; so if they calm down, I will be able to take in more of what they are trying to say.

Sometimes it’s hard not defend yourself when someone is sharing an idea that you don’t agree with.

If you’ve ever been able to participate in a heated boardroom meeting, you know what I mean. Here’s a group of upstanding, relatively calm businessmen, each with their own opinion about how a thing should be done… passionately; as if their lives and the lives of their children hung in the balance.

People, who argue and fight, generally prevent themselves from a great deal of happiness in their lives and are more prone to health decline and most of them are unable to achieve much in terms of expanded life-span.

Here’s the thing: When someone does something that you don’t like; that’s okay.

It is their right to do their thing, just as it is for you to do yours.

It only becomes your issue, if someone interrupts your rights directly. Then, and only then, is action justified.

Bless everyone’s right to find their own way. To dishonor someone else’s right to individuality only drags us backward in our evolution.

Never be moved to hate or disrespect; instead boldly carry the torch of tolerance for others to see the light of love and freedom.

How these statements make you feel, reflects in your own mirror.

No judgment here; just something to think about.

Join the Evolution

~ I love you

Can’t We All Just Get Along?

In our societal structure there appears to be a prevalence of superiority that requires maintenance in order to secure our separateness while keeping us – as a collective whole – somewhat manageable. In an attempt to manage ourselves (whether we are influenced from other sources to do so is up for debate) we create societal expectations, rules, punishable and enforceable laws.

Can’t we all just get along?

Remember when we were kids? It seemed like there were so many expectations and rules; “Really? I just want to have fun!” It’s not like we were going to hurt someone or rob a bank…

I recall thinking that if I ever lived long enough to have kids I would just let them be. I would be the parent that I wanted to have when I was growing up. Then, not long after, I found myself raising a family and having to manage a house full of individuals all trying to make their own way, separately but still under the same roof.

One-by-one, rules were established to help keep the peace; don’t touch your sibling when he or she is safety-belted in the car. Don’t disassemble a sibling’s gift to find out how it works (or looks inside). Don’t call your siblings names. Don’t blame your sibling for something you did. Don’t hit inanimate objects, don’t hit animate objects; don’t hit anything.

Don’t set up your sibling to get in trouble to prove your level of parental manipulation prowess. Eat your vegetables, no sugar after six p.m. and don’t play your music so loud; just to name a few.

It doesn’t take long and you say to yourself, “Oh, my god, I turned into my parents!”
Your children despise your house of rules, yet you maintain your restraint level(s) to maintain safety and security, for the sake of the family and in the hopes that your children will grow into responsible adults. Then, something amazing happens:

One day, when you go over to their house to visit them and your grandchildren, they apologize for resenting all the rules (my daughter-in-law has 749 rules to manage the peace in their home), while I (now the grandparent) get to frolic, play and help my grandchildren find loopholes in the rules. Ha!

I can’t help but think, if I knew then what I know now, would I have done things differently? Without a doubt: Absolutely.

Then, I think about how this model mimics society as a whole. We are just as reactive when we create laws to govern individuals within our community. We start as a Utopia with no restrictions, until someone engages in an activity that we would not like to see repeated, so we make a law regarding it.

So many laws; so many restrictions, and we rarely if ever review the old ones, while we pile new ones on top of them. Will it ever end?

When all we really need is two laws:
1. Do whatever you want
2. Don’t interfere with anyone else’s right to do what they want

That means you can do whatever you want – even if we have been programmed to believe that an activity is bad or socially unacceptable – do it; but don’t let your activity impinge on another’s right to enjoy their life.

Maybe it’s impossible to change our legal system or the world for that matter; but I can change me.

I can love my fellow human beings more. I can learn to allow them to find their own way and do their own thing (as long as it doesn’t interfere with someone else’s right to do likewise).

I believe that tolerance is the next step in human evolution.

When you think about it; it removes all resistance as you simply allow what is to be.

Tolerance is love expressed to the Nth degree.

Maybe it’s time to consider letting go – just a little bit – and try it on for size. Tolerance could have a huge impact in the peaceful enjoyment experienced in your life.

Or not.