Month: April 2017

Red Pill or Blue Pill?

As you approach life and become more aware and able to see things as they really are, you are able to get a glimpse of how things actually are and you’re discovering that the thoughts, beliefs, ideals and principles that you once revered as undeniable truths are not as they were represented to you.

You start to question things…

Once you’ve discovered that one or more things that have been beat into your head as constructs of thought to control your perception of what is and what is not, it makes you wonder and ask the question,

“What else have I been indoctrinated with?”

You look at things from different perspectives and notice inconsistencies, cracks in the surface which if investigated, lead you to underground chasms filled with data that makes you question even more. You start to realize that much, if not all, that you believed in and held so closely dear to you, are misrepresentations force fed to you in an effort to control your mind, and you start to

Question Everything

As you dig deeper, you find that not only you, but everyone (or almost everyone) you know is also a victim of this massive deception. At first, you become angry at those who have filled your head with all these lies, and then you realize, they, too, are victims of this sinister programming.

They are so embroiled with the lies, that they have no choice but to propagate the deceit. They are so compelled to insist that the lies are true; they are willing to fight, even die, in the defense of it.

What can you do with this awareness?

Good question. It doesn’t take long to figure out, if you tell anyone close to you about your discoveries, they will initiate their protocol to defend their programmed hyperbole by any means necessary. They will make fun of you, intimidate you, or accuse you of losing touch with reality because they have been indoctrinated so pervasively. They may refer you to medical professionals who can prescribe medication which is designed to keep you from questioning your programming. At some point, either literally, or metaphorically, you are faced with a decision of selecting,

The Red Pill or the Blue Pill

The blue pill is the one you’ve been force-fed since birth. You’ve blindly taken your daily dose of blue every day. The blue pill makes you susceptible to all the programming to which you are exposed every day.

The blue pill keeps us fearful and insecure but the taking of it promises to keep us safe and secure as we allow ourselves to wither into complacency and mediocrity.

Most everyone in your world since your emergence on this planet has spent a lifetime taking the blue pill and they know no other way to be. They believe that if anyone were to question the blue, they must be corrected, exiled or possibly even exterminated.

Then there is the red pill. The red pill neutralizes the effects of the blue pill and allows you to see things as they really are. Once you have taken the red pill, you are blasted into a shocking state of confusion, because you are so used to being under the influence of the blue pill.

It’s no wonder that many, who have experimented with the red pill, quickly abandon the idea and rush to re-ingest the blue pill.

If you decide to keep taking the red pill you will no doubt start seeking others who are taking the red pill and you may feel a sort of kinship with redders whom you might think are like-minded. Just be aware that even among the redders, there are still users who while they are expanding are still dragging attributes of the blues along with them. (We all do this to some degree as we are on the path to enlightenment.)

The red journey is one to be taken by you, alone, though you may commiserate and frolic with redders along the way, keep in mind to cease to expand will lead to stagnation. And while not progressing or continuing to evolve can be somewhat comfortable, the decision must be yours whether you will subside into complacency, or continue to grow and expand.

Finding Peace in Chaos

You can’t help but see our world is drowning in negativity and chaos. Any time you expose yourself to media you can’t help but exposed yourself to the worst possible state of the human condition. Exposing yourself to this barrage of bad news can cause your personal vibration to tank, reaching unfathomable depths. Any hope of finding peace in chaos seems so far off, if not impossible.

These negative feelings which include floods of sadness and depression prevent your expansion and submitting yourself to anger or rage hinders your evolution. This results in feeling helpless and feeling as though you are a hapless victim of life as the fear of possibly not making it though another day without facing negativity continues to grow.

The world is based on non-sustainable processes which lead to preventing decline in the human condition. To accelerate powerful agendas and hinder your potential evolution, you must believe that the world is in a difficult state, and the best that you can hope for is a mediocre life in a world where life is so hard and accepting your position within the rat race as it looks as if the rest of the world is in chaotic deterioration and destruction all around you.

So what can you do to get on the other side of the chaos?

One effective action you can take is to remove yourself from the equation. You can stop exposing yourself to these low vibrational states simply by intravenous feed of the media. You are being force-fed this unfathomable negativity, but you have complete control of it. All you have to do is to stop the feed, to stop participating by refusing to expose yourself to it.

Try to do this in private and do not boast about your decision to unplug the dysfunction, because society has trained your peers to police your participation. They will name-call, berate you and accuse you of ignorance to get you to cease your media hiatus. Nonetheless, sometimes stopping the bombardment of the negative feeds is the only way to gain enough emotional balance to attempt other ways of finding peace in chaos.

The good news is that there are other tactics available to all of us that are keys to

Finding Peace in Chaos

First, realizing that the decline of the world as we know it is a major key to the evolutionary process is invaluable. In order for our country and the world to move to the next step of our evolution as a species and the planet we inhabit, the world must fail as it is, as a new, more enlightened, world can emerge. In this respect, the decline of our current model of civilization is necessary for us to create a better world.

Anticipate Evolution

In this respect, understanding that the powers which exert every possible resource to control us, gives us hope that a new way of abundant living, being, growing, expanding and enlightenment is coming, and you can play an active part in this change.

Every time you see, hear, witness or are exposed to something bad, this is a clear indication that something good is coming. Anticipate the positive evolution is taking place and know this process requires change. Change can be extremely painful, unflattering or hard to understand and sometimes something must be destroyed before it can be replaced with something good.

If you feel like the world is in a horrible state, you can refocus your attention to find goodness and mercy everywhere you look. You can’t see it if your view is obscured by the constant barrage of negativity.

Seek Goodness

Refocus your attention from the active decline of the current system and turn it towards those things which are good. Your diligence and purposefully focusing on seeking out the good things that are happening all around you, and I promise you, if you look for love, you will find it. Love exists all around us, just as also you can find all the freedom, compassion and forgiveness all around you, if you seek out manifestations of positivity you will be rewarded. In the unveiling and witnessing that even amidst the chaos, there is a world of good in abundance brings you a sense of hope and peace.

Create a perpetual state of positivity by finding ways to immerse yourself in a sea of all things good. It really is a choice, you can channel surf the television and complain about how bad things are, or you could turn it off. All media is not bad. There are good things you can expose yourself to, though it may take some effort to find positive media outlets which only feed your positive outlook on life and all the good things this life has to offer.

Be Gracious

Focus on being thankful for all the good things in life, instead of life’s injustices or shortfalls and adopt a state of gracious gratitude for all life’s blessings. If you do this, you will begin to find yourself finding more things to be grateful for.

Social Media

If you’re spending a great deal of time plugged in to social media, this is likely counterproductive due to first imposing the false belief that this is neutral media exposure. This is where it starts as you think that it is a safe use of your available time, until one day you awaken from the haze to realize the prevalence of negativity. Social media can keep you inactive or complacent in creating a better life for yourself.

Instead, look for other forms of inspirational media which resonates with you that promote a more positive outlook, such as books or movies and you will find your spirit lifting in the presence of that which is good.

Explore Nature

Explore the creation which exists all around you. You might find a safe walk in the wilderness, relaxing by the lake, watching to waves caress the seashore, listening to and feeding (if not prohibited by law) the birds, taking a hike in nature. She has so much she wants to share with you, but you will never be able to see it, if you do not venture out and give her the opportunity to bless you with the natural beauty which is ever at your beck and call.

Don’t Believe Anything

You know better now. Once you believed in childhood ideals which later in life we found out that these things were not true. Truth and what you believe in is subject to change upon exposure to new information of your own personal growth and expansion. Be open to having your paradigms shift as you grow and change your perspective. Often things are not actually as they appear in life, especially when they are filtered by corporate media outlets. Be smart and responsible for what you are exposed to and how you interpret it.

Follow Your Feelings

If you are exposed to something in the media that does not resonate with that highest and best part of you, pull the plug. And if something enrages you, do not succumb to that negativity. Instead be that you’re being summoned to respond and offer a positive alternative to that which embroils your gumption.

See the Opportunity

Bad things are an opportunity for you to do something good. You can support an organization, volunteer or start a movement yourself that provides solution to whatever irks you.

Stop – Start – Be

Stop being a victim, start finding the love, and if you’re so inspired be the change.

How to Be an Expansion Explorer

There are many paths and possibilities for expansion explorers. Even so, there are similarities shared among these travelers on the way to enlightenment. If you’re wondering how to be an expansion explorer, here are some of the road markers you might find along the way:

Relax

Expansion explorer are often finding ways to experience feelings of peace and relaxation, allowing them to find calm amidst the chaotic storm of life. Meditation, binaural beats, prayer, praise, soaking in a hot tub to soft music and candlelight in solitude, or any of the other ways to take a peaceful reprieve from the otherwise hectic pace of life.

Disempowering the Past

Expansion explorers find ways to let go of the demons of their past which might haunt them or otherwise hinder their growth or hold them back. We all have things from the past which have accumulated since birth that cause us to be fearful or experience negative emotion lurking in the dark recesses of our minds.

Oh Well

While sounding irreverent, “Oh, well,” summarizes the ability of the expansion explorer to acknowledge anything that may be negative, without allowing the negative emotional impact to overwhelm their state of being. At first blush, “Oh, well,” might sound offensive, but the expansion explorer finds ways to let go of the control negativity has over their state of being, while passively respecting the content. In this way, they can hear of a terrible tragedy, that would otherwise cripple them emotionally, to honor the content without allowing an overwhelming emotional reaction to throw them off track or distract them.

Someone witnessing such a skill might ask, “What? Don’t you care?” To which the expansion explorer replies something to the effect, “Yes, I care. Just not too much.” as they continue to stay focused on their personal growth, ministry or mission. They allow others who are more qualified, and whose mission it is to respond to the negative news, to respond appropriately, realizing everyone has a part to play in the theater of life, and trusting they will do their best to do the right thing.

It’s Okay to Feel Bad

Even expansion explorers have a bad day, or experience negative feelings, just like anyone else, but they do react and deal with these challenges differently than most people. First off, they know that denying the feeling is not an effective method of dealing with it, because it takes root somewhere hidden deep inside and infects the potentially good feelings with bad feelings, like a virus. So instead of fighting it, they let themselves get fully engulfed with all the pain they can imagine from the bad feeling(s). Then, as quickly as possible, having given over to it without reservation, find ways to see the hidden treasure in the tragedy or injustice, as well as healing any residual wounds that may have resulted from the incident and gaining emotional freedom. We are all entitled to having our emotions sink to depths of despair, but none of us have to live there. To give-in to a negative emotion, and stay there, drains your personal power.

Personal Growth

Finding your own way and clearing your own path leads to your personal and/or spiritual growth. It is fine, if not prudent, to seek happiness, but not to obsess over the not having of it, as that will only bring you more unhappiness because you are focused on you’re not having it. Instead finding the new and exciting things in life which are new experiences, widening your sense of knowledge of spiritual connection makes you feel as if life is worth living and this positive expectation, that something good is coming, brings more good things into your life. The more you start to focus on your independence rather than what others may expect or require from you, the more freedom and joy you experience as you are growing and expanding in your mind as well as your heart. And don’t believe for a minute that you can’t teach an old dog a new trick. This does not apply to expansion explorers who are always on the lookout for new information and experiences.

Trusting Your Intuition

That still small voice inside you can be your best friend if you can attune your vibration to it in such a way as to be aware of the feeling emitted from your heart sensor, which can give you up to seven seconds or more advance warning to some unforeseen encounter, confrontation or circumstance. There are countless stories and documented occurrences of near-pre-cognitive awareness by those who have fully embraced their intuition and trust their instincts. If you think you do not have intuition, don’t let that stop you. Trusting your intuition can be a learned skill at any age.

Exploration

Don’t restrict your exploration to only your mind or spirit. You have come to this planet and all these things of potential experience and beauty is here for you to find joy and expansion in the exploration of precious travel opportunities to gain appreciation for all earth’s blessings. Don’t let your inner fear or second-guessing prevent you from exploring the local terrain or the beauty of terra firma abroad. There is so much to see, learn and experience. In the event that you’re unable to travel, then read about other lands and their customs, you can go there in your mind and still benefit from the exposure to other places and their cultures.

What’s In It for Me?

There’s a little narcissist inside each and every one of us and it is always putting our own needs, desires and perspectives before others’. But the expansion explorers are evolving into a more advanced view of self. While they consider their personal needs, there is a growing concern for others and our selfishness evolves into something much less selfish but more satisfying as, “What’s in it for me?” morphs into something more akin to, “What can I take away from this, and possible help make the world a better place?” We still seek our own wants, needs, dreams and desires, but also look for ways to share our expansion with others as appropriate for the benefit of others with an underlying motive of love.

Humility

You don’t have to be a religious monk to find humility, you can start being open and honest about yourself today, without having to sacrifice your lifestyle or take a vow of poverty. Having and maintaining connections with other people is the spice of life. You cannot truly transparently connect with another person if you’re busy keeping up appearances or pretending to be something you are not. Expansion explorers are often finding new ways to look within themselves to discover new things inside, some not so good, some absolutely fabulous. The more you get to know yourself, the easier it is to reach out to others in a truly genuine fashion. It also helps you to tolerate other people for where they are on their life’s journey, for aren’t we all just doing the best we can with what we have?

Love

Love is the most powerful force in the universe and it is fully expansive and ever growing within our yearning for its expression emerging from within you to beam out to others, your community and the world at large. You know this is your calling to be an expression of love to the world. This is counter intuitive to your preservation of self but as you learn to allow your love to grow (which can be quite a process in itself) you are able to feel the love and be more receptive of true love.

Living Dead and Resurrection

The day came when all was lost. Your hero, mentor, teacher, loved one, is gone. You struggle in vain for a way to make sense of it all. How could it be?

God! You mean to tell me it’s all come to this?! Nothing?!

What an injustice, a cosmic joke. You believed, you were all in, You played full out with everything you had, every skill, every talent, every hope, dream, and breath vested… all for not.

All is lost.

You are certainly justified in feeling dejected, abandoned and hurt. Nobody would deny your right to grieve over the loss, especially in these darkest of hours. So, please, take as long as it takes and act it out in any way you want. Everyone deals with loss in different ways. It’s okay, you are loved regardless of how you act out this most grievous sense of loss. This can be the incubation process, readying you for what is unseen but waiting for you not far off.

Then, three days later (or however long it takes), against all odds, something happens that totally escapes the realm of possibility or even imagination.

Once a year the return to life after a three-day death of Jesus Christ is celebrated. This is the undeniable power of our salvation that transcends disbelief or any thoughtful constraint which might give way to the idea that anything could be impossible.

There was a time when I never cried (at least not in the presence of any other person. I had overwhelming emotion and tears fell, but only in private). That was, until my son, Nathanial cured me of my suppressed tears while following the viewing of a film on our father/son date at the movies.

What was the film? E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial. Following the film, as the credits scrolled and everyone was leaving the theater, Nathanial and I sat very still in reverent silence, until my son broke the silence with a sincere, tearful, “Daddy, I didn’t want him to go.”

I replied, “I didn’t want him to go either,” as we hugged each other and let our tearful emotions flow as the credits continued to scroll by.

Ever since that moment, I have been apt to shed a tear at the most opportune (or inopportune) times, and all my efforts to hold them back, are pretty much in vain.

There are a great many instances that trigger a tearful emotive response, but the one that gets me every time is the moment of resurrection. This is that pivotal moment in Christianity, the unlimited power of that which is the foundation of everything we believe in. Whether belief as historical fact or motivational metaphor, in that moment our faith is renewed and even in our darkest hour, we believe and have faith in the dawn of a new day.

In my life’s work, I have been blessed to be in presence of friends and clients who are dead. By, “dead,” I am not referring to the state of deadness without heartbeat or brain function, but rather dead in the sense that there is no life in them. A sort of living dead where there is no joy. No reason to live, sense of contribution, or satisfaction from living another day. In a sense, all hope is lost.

What an honor it is to be in the presence of that very same person when they break through to the other side and with the heartfelt enthusiasm for love and life; coming back from the dead into a powerful living of life that surpasses their wildest dreams.

This is the moment I celebrate regularly, for I am blessed to be there. I also honor this very same moment in a well-written book, or photoplay usually accompanied with a tug at my heart-strings and a tear (or many, as the case may be).

There have been moments of resurrection in my life, leaving clear demarcations from a decline in quality of life and/or loss to a new-found zest for love and life with an exhilaration and determination unsurpassed.

It’s as if we were born with everything we could possibly need to achieve our highest and best, but it lays dormant, repressed by fear and a sense of unworthiness and a society structured to keep all our potential at bay, as we accept our simple lot in life within the box as a member of a community which can be easily managed and controlled.

But every once-in-a-while, against all odds, new life breaks through.

One day of the year, we gather in tandem to celebrate the Spring of new life and resurrection. On that day, amongst true believers, Everyone Agrees Salvation Transcends Everything Repressed.

The Basis of True Forgiveness

Forgiving others is frightening business of your deep work. It’s like it just doesn’t make sense because we are programmed to live in a society where fear and the concept of punishment is prevalent. We are constantly in fear of what someone might do to us that might make us sad, be disrespectful, offensive or painful and feel as though the only thing that could possibly make things right would be punishing the offender or making them suffer for their misdeeds.

This has been a constant method of thinking that has been prevalent since as far back as mankind can remember (or at least document). This pervasive sense of crime and punishment has permeated all facets of social life including governmental at all levels from local community to the world, exclusive groups and religions, and right down to work and familial life. So, it’s no surprise when someone hurts you, all you want is retribution or revenge. They must pay for their sins.

The this crazy thing happened a couple of thousand years ago, when someone manned up in the most peculiar way that started a change in how people thought about how to react when someone treats you poorly, does something really bad, or hurts you Including breaking any of the ten commandments. This was a crazy idea at the time and not well received at the time, until after he sealed the idea by signing a record breaking decree issued from the highest court with his own life’s blood.

This was not just about forgiving others for their transgressions against you and me, this idea of forgiveness is uncompromising and far reaching to not only those who have offended us, but also to you and me, giving us a chance to live a life unbridled by any punishment for any thoughts or deeds that may haunt us from our own lives… even our deepest and darkest secrets hidden within us.

We honor the price paid for this comprehensive idea of forgiveness today. As tragic as the entire affair was at the time, we refer to it as Good Friday, because for us:

How More Blessed Could We Be?

By receiving a royal invitation to start life over, every day, free from self-deprecation or fear of punishment for any bad thoughts, wrongs or misdeeds ever possibly conceived of. Instantly, all wiped away in a complete rebooting, like the ultimate Ctrl-Alt-Delete. For those who accept this free gift can begin every day clean and anew.

So, this 2000-year-old event which was meant for evil/punishment for crimes committed against the status quo, turned out to be one of the most significant events promoting a massive pivot in this sense of a newfound freedom from fear or sin and punishment.

Of course, even after 2,000 years, we still struggle with the idea as we still feel like people who offend us or do not conform to the status quo are punished and we cannot seem to find new way to punish and incarcerate them at a rapid enough rate. Rationally, the pendulum has swung so far that the idea of forgiveness is the furthest thing from our minds or societal structure.

Think about it: If we keep throwing people in jail or prison at the current rate of growth of the prison population, in 35 years

You will either be in prison

or working for a prison.

The whole idea fails. It doesn’t work. In fact, the only way to make it work is to increase the penalty for wrongdoing to the death penalty.

Then, there is this idea of forgiveness lurking in the wings…

Maybe this idea sealed-in-blood 2,000 years ago is worth considering…

Forgiving is hard, contrarian work.

What are your thoughts?

 

Why Is Love So Hard?

You’ve been there. You’ve fallen in love with someone, given your heart, mind, body and soul to someone and expected the same in return. More often than not, loving someone and expecting them to love you in return invites a world of trouble and what appear to be insurmountable obstacles. It can leave you asking, “Why is love so hard?”

First of all, keep in mind that we’re talking about two different people. There are three different thoughts about how relationships are formed, based on

Opposites Attract
People are attracted to Carbon Copies
Attraction is Chaos

When opposites attract, of course, trying to work it all out will be problematic. In fact, this is the entire concept of attracting your Twin Flame. The idea of the twin flame insists your partner is the polar opposite of you, the other half of you, destined to create a higher version of yourself when the two of you are united if you can survive the hell and high water to achieve exponential personal growth.

When people are attracted to carbon copies, they are (often unconsciously) looking for someone who is familiar, either like someone who was a powerful influence (positive or negative) in their earlier life, or someone who is like themselves in compatibility (or “chemistry”).

Then there is the thought that attraction is chaos and random. In this scenario, there is a degree of animal magnetism, followed by the assumption that no one is every truly satisfied in romantic relationships. These relationships are destined for trouble but if the couple is willing to work hard at it, they can maintain a long term relationship.
Some of the things that can make trying to maintain a relationship so hard include

What Is Love?

In my work with couples, it is common for individuals in a relationship not to have the same definition of what love is. How can a couple be “in love” when they don’t share the same idea of love’s definition?

Our society has warped the sense of love’s definition by offering romantic ideals based on fairy tale knights in shining armor and Disney Cinderellas to films depicting love at first sight and other magic of falling in love concepts.

Of course, there are more substantial concepts of love which include love as being based on integrity and commitment which means you stay with your partner whether you like it or not because you made a promise or signed a contract. On the other end of the spectrum are people who approach the idea of love as being an opportunity for personal and/or spiritual growth.

Understanding each other’s definition of love, coming to a shared definition and understanding how each person feels as though they are being loved are two of the best tools to have an idea of early on in the relationship or when looking for ways to offer help in a troubled relationship.

You Are Afraid

Fear is the reason for failure not only in relationships, but other areas of life as well. Fear is the most destructive force in our world and it hides deep inside you, and it serves only two purposes: To Protect You from Pain or Death – or – To Destroy Any Hope of Having a Good Life. In relationships participants are afraid of committing to another person, afraid that if they leave themselves open they will experience pain and/or loss of self. There is the fear that your mate may not be “the one” (what if someone better comes along?). There is the fear that love will fade, the initial attraction dissolves or each of the partners fall into stereotypical roles in the relationship. What if your partner devolves into an abuser or suffers health challenges that would scare anyone who might be left the eternal caretaker?

Atop the heap of fear of the endless unknown or expected possible negative outcomes is the fear promoted by witnessing the failed relationships all around you. Trust is the hardest thing to establish in a world where you are surrounded by unrequited love, infidelity, dishonesty, lies, physical or mental abuse, secret-keeping, addictions, embezzlement, con games, and a degree of evil lurking in the shadows seeking to break or destroy you. You have seen many relationships fail as most of them do, or witnessed the sacrificial martyrdom of one of the participants in a relationship to “make it work” and you don’t want that to happen to you. It’s no wonder you’re frightened about falling in love.

There Is No Such Thing as Love

Then there is the idea that there is no such thing as love, where people believe that love is nothing more than an ideal, thought process of tool used to get what you want in life. Let’s face it; society has trained us to believe love is a superficial means to an end. In this materialistic scenario there is no real connection between two people, instead one or both parties are shallow participants only focused on what they can get out of the relationship. When they fail to get what they want, or feel like they see a better deal on the horizon, they’re gone.

Don’t Want to Deal With It

No one wants a great deal of drama in their life, and if you’re in a close relationship with someone else (even if it’s not a romantic relationship) it can become problematic.
For the people who will avoid conflict or confrontation at all costs, it’s easier just to bail out altogether. There is no sense of fighting for love, what is right or the greater good. Instead of thinking, “I’d rather fight than quit,” these folks are more likely to think it’s time to, “Cut my losses,” and walk away because it’s easier than dealing with the drama or facing their own inner issues (especially, if they think there is a potentially better relationship waiting in the wings).

The Broken Hearted

It is harder for one who has loved and lost due to having their heart severely broken or crushed than one who has not endured this type of pain. The broken hearted people have a great deal to work through before they can be truly ready to re-enter a love relationship, but they often seek to quickly replace the love that was lost by seeking out a new relationship, like a love band aid, to treat the wound, but this is only superficial treatment and will likely lead to the failure of the subsequent relationship. Others, out of fear, will avoid putting themselves at risk, ever again. So, the broken-hearted must heal their broken heart to have any hope of an effective love relationship.

The Uncompromising List

After a few go-rounds in the relationship department, you tend to accumulate a list of what you don’t want to see in future relationships based on your negative love observations and experiences. Unfortunately, if you focus on the negatives of past relationships, you are likely to attract more negatives in future relationships; it’s how the law of attraction works.

No matter how complete and comprehensive you list is, it can be difficult (if not impossible) to find anyone who can measure up to your standards.

Not that this is completely a bad idea. Instead of focusing on negatives, focus on the positives and make a list of only these qualities, like my soul mate list. You will be surprised at what may appear on love’s horizon.

Don’t See Eye to Eye

In this day and age, there is a preponderance of posturing for separation. Society promotes the polarization among people and also in relationships, which makes us all somewhat narcissistic as we care less and less about others and more and more about ourselves.

Even though you are separate people, you need to look for opportunities to find the common ground, which you can share together in the long run, while allowing each of you to maintain your independence, a sort of interdependence instead of codependency.

In a relationship between two people, there is so much to manage, prioritize and compromise to affect a successful and long lasting romantic relationship. It takes work, investment of resources (time, emotion and financial) and a commitment to work it out rather than bailing out.

Is Love Worth It?

This is a question you have to ask and answer for yourself.

I will always be ever the romantic, believing that love is the most powerful force in the universe and can conquer anything. Love is the highest and best vibration in the world.

Is love easy? No. Is life easy? No. If it was, where would be the excitement in that?

It’s better to work on your relationship in love, rather than not to have a love relationship to work on at all. It will take work, I believe it’s worth it.

If you believe, and are looking for a way to break through to the other side of your most amazing love adventure ever, call me.

See you at the Soulmate Wizardry event.

Spring Cleaning Your Life

It’s time to consider a bit of Spring cleaning. While looking around your current living environment about things you could do without, you might consider things tossing out a few things from your more personal environment, by taking a closer look inside yourself.

You might find it’s time to cut our when Spring cleaning your life, like

Eliminate Excess

Find ways to minimize your lifestyle, streamlining it for maximum effectiveness with less effort and maintenance. If you can choose less over more, you will enjoy a life that is more simple allowing you to experience more happiness, joy and peace along the way to achieving your highest and best. You will find that you can cut out a great deal of nonessential possessions, dress more practically and adapting an attitude of finding less to say, listening more, when you speak make it more meaningful, and you will find your audience more attentive as you focus more on your higher calling and less about the things of this world that might otherwise weight you down.

Throw Out Caring What Other People Think

If you are unique (and you are. There’s nobody, like you, who brings your unique set of skills, talents and message – told only the way you can tell it – to the world), then at times other people are not going to get you, and they might even be inspired to prevent you from achieving your highest and best, for a variety of reasons. You may never be good enough for anyone else, but your responsibility is to God. To Him (her, or whatever you see God as), you are royalty. You have the highest authority on your side. All the greatest gifts given and advancements made in history were primarily made by people, like you and me, who were willing to go against the grain for the greater good, regardless of what other people thought, or the preconceived ideas they held tight to. Every once and a while someone needs to shake things up. Are you that person?

Place Perfectionism Atop the Trash Heap

Give up the idea that you have to have such a high standard of performance to release something to others. If you are constantly inventing/reinventing, creating/recreating, writing/rewriting, editing and re-editing, you are preventing your contribution from being released to benefit others and also preventing yourself from the benefits of your giving your gift or message to the world. Perfection often based in a fear of failure, can be holding you back, preventing your taking action, and could be your worst enemy.

Discard Excuses

Maximize your effectiveness by taking full responsibility for your life and all the opportunities that present themselves to you and avoiding making excuses that prevent you from executing. It doesn’t matter where you’ve been or how you got here. Your worthiness can be eliminated from the equation because this is your God given birthright. So quit making excuses or nay saying yourself. Excuses are only rationalizations for your not taking action. Sure, life is a scary place, but you got this. So, go for it.

Dispose of Limitations

Not far off from excuses are self-imposed limitations or negative self-talk. You never have to be good enough and you will never be educated enough or qualified enough to meet your own expectations. You might be surprised that the world doesn’t really care about your qualifications as much as they need what you are holding back. Your ideas, your expertise, your perspective, your insight, your mater-of-factness, your openness and honesty. They are waiting, don’t let them (or yourself) down by letting limitations get in your way. If you feel like something is too much of a stretch for you that may be necessary to deploy our gift, have faith. Don’t let it stop you. If you keep moving forward with momentum, what you need will appear.

Chuck Your Need for Instant Gratification

Often the best things in life take time, require a process, or a variety of details or successive decisions and associated actions along the way to arrive at an expected conclusion. If you focus only on the ultimate goal and fail to see it appearing in your anticipated time frame, you are likely to abandon your goal prior to achieving it. You can instead like your expectations to the individual steps that can get you from where you are to where you want to be. While payoff may not feel as enthusiastic, find the joy and sense of pride in knowing that you are one step closer to what you really want. Stay steady on your path and you will get there. Keep in mind that your goal may change in shape and form as you are making your way to it, and allow it to shift as you approach it for the greater good.

Junk the Idea of Being Rinky Dink

Stop playing the game like a small-time amateur. It’s time to step up and take life seriously. It’s time to man up (or woman up) in order to make your greatest contribution to your community and the don’t let your impact be limited by your locale. You have a unique gift and message that you came to this world to share. It’s on you to stop letting you being satisfied with day-dreaming, fantasizing or treating your contribution as a hobby. This is your time to get serious and make a stand or statement, let your voice be heard and your blessing be realized.

Get Rid of the Need to Multi-task

Let go of the idea that you have to do everything, or that nothing will get done if you don’t do it: All of it. Be willing to ask for help and look for ways to outsource parts of the process that are less enjoyable. Don’t let your tendency to be all ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) about it, endlessly jumping into engaging every shiny object that comes along. The most successful and effective folks (while they can manage more than one project at a time) focus on one project until it gets to the point of maintenance, then can focus on another project that is waiting in the wings. Don’t allow yourself to be distracted by every new thing that comes along, because ti will be unlikely that you’ll be able to complete anything if you allow your attention to be diverted from current processes. Shorten your to-do list by focusing on the essential things you have to do and ditch everything else that only keeps you busy. Stay focused.

Cast Off the Bad Yes

You know the one: When you say, “Yes,” and make promises that do not represent your highest and best or support your ideals or goals. If you have a tendency to self sacrifice or give all you have to others, while watching your goals and dreams suffer and die, like some kind of martyr, now is the time to put an end to it. You are not only doing a disservice to those you are helping (Why? Because you’re not allowing them to flourish and grow. You are actually hindering their own ability to find and make their own way, as you’ve made them dependent on you.), but you are allowing others to prevent you from achieving your highest and best. You need time to focus on you and your ministry, start finding polite ways to say, “No.”

Ditch the Need to Be In Control

Certainly, you need to have a plan, but don’t be obsessed with controlling all of the minute details. You can’t possibly control everything. Allow the momentum and flow you’ve created with your intention and action to follow its own path. You might find that by releasing some (or more, if not all) of the control to your higher power, you will have a much easier and effective go of what it is that you’re trying to accomplish. Let things find their own way to fall into order as your keep pressing forward. Obstacles are not always opposition, sometimes they are the only way to lead you in a better direction. If something is not going the way you like, do not post up to fight against it. Instead look for a better way, and you will find an alternate door, window or path to follow and find yourself ultimately in a better position.

Jettison Toxic People

You know the ones: They suck the life, joy and resources out of you, leaving nothing left for you. They are unsupportive contrarians who could care less about you achieving your goals and ideals, and are often responsible for making you feel unworthy of the calling which beckons to you. It is also important to keep in mind that the frequency of your vibration is likely to adjust to the people whom you keep in close proximity. It’s time to eject the toxic people from your life, so that you can make room for the like-minded people who are ready, willing, able to support you and desire seeing you achieve your highest and best.

Reject the Media

Not just the news, but don’t allow your attention to be interrupted or yourself to be dissuaded by anything you see, hear or read in any media. Consider a media hiatus which includes all forms of media, including the television, Internet, social media… anything that might be bombarding you with negative energy. Avoid the temptation of these destructive forces that suck the time and life out or you, which could be thwarting your otherwise healthy pursuits.

Incinerate the Unhealthy Choices

You might find it’s time to let go of your attachment to activities that are not in the best interest of the maintenance of your body (AKA your temple of God). This is your vehicle for your performance and enjoyment of the journey you are on. Wouldn’t you enjoy the journey more, if your vehicle is in tip top shape? You’ve already discarded excuses, so start looking for ways you can eat better and find physical activities that lead to a more healthy lifestyle. We all could use a tune up.

Stop Looking for the Easy Way

You have to give up on the idea that what you want is simply going to fall into your lap, because that is never going to happen. Everything you could possibly desire (you only desire it because you don’t have it) cannot be realized without first taking action. It is highly unlikely (although not impossible because nothing is impossible) that you will win the Lottery without purchasing a ticket (if not a number of tickets in succession) first. You have heard stories of the instant, overnight success of others, but the truth is: Most of those stories are fiction. I don’t mean some are fiction and some are true and include all of the facts that contributed to the story as it was presented, I mean: None of those stories include all the facts necessary to tell the whole story, ‘ere they are all fiction. Does that mean there’s no hope? No. Good fortune always follows those who create it for themselves.

Is it possible for you to live the best life ever and have all your dreams come true? Yes, it’s all up to you.

Are you ready to take responsibility to do what it takes to have the life you want?

You can do it, and it’s not as hard as you might think, a little Spring cleaning will get you on your way, but you must move and keep moving toward what you want, and you will get there, if you don’t give up and keep going.

Ch ch ch Changes

I tend to get excited when I see people changing, reaching out and experiencing new life.

In the last few weeks, I’ve noticed trends in the changes expansion explorers are making in their lives who are making the world a better place. If you’re on a similar journey, you may find yourself:

You are okay with who you are and don’t have anything to prove to anyone else. You can be honest and open about who you are, where you have been and where you are going. You have a sense peace of your own personage and have no need to misrepresent yourself on social media or among friends or relatives. In comparison others with low self esteem feel compelled to create false identities, boast, consider themselves better than those less fortunate, or put other people down. These folks can actually begin to lose touch with reality. On the other hand, you are content with yourself and find your place within the world without having to participate in false witness of self.

You are finding more ways to feel and express gratitude as you are more appreciative of the simple things, and thankful each new day, for the people who are in our life, the opportunities that reveal themselves to you, and where you live. You experience an increasing sense of joy about the things in your life and the life that you live.

You are concerned less with the dark unknown of a foreboding future, while others are more apt to spend a great deal of time worrying about what may happen. You are finding more ways to live in the present, in the moment we call, “now.” You are not afraid of what the future holds. You don’t take the idea to the extreme, by doing nothing. Instead you make plans for a better future and take action to build a momentum leading to a better tomorrow and an increasingly better world.

You don’t feel a need or concern about what is outside of your control and accept responsibility for controlling what you can and the rest go.

After all, life is what it is, stuff happens, and we’re all doing the best we can with what we have,

Instead of dreading what may be luring in the wings, you find yourself anticipating good things, and as you do you find more joyous surprises and opportunities appearing in your life.

You’re more likely to take a risk to do something good, help make your local community a better place or even the world. If your initial efforts are not successful, you are not dissuaded and ready yourself for another attempt to make the world a better place.

You are more gentle and kind than you may have been before. You are more empathetic and able to see things from the perspective of others, are able to imagine what it might be like to be wearing someone else’s shoes, or even to have lived their life. And you are more inclined to offer to lend a helping hand to others in need.

You are more inclusive in your approach to life and are more often inclined to say, “Yes,” to new ideas and new opportunities. If you do not have the inclination to get out more, or huddle up on the sofa or plugged into the Internet, you might try spreading your wings and getting out to attend a meeting just to change up your exposure in your environment, you are finding new ways to integrate or participate by exploring new activities in unfamiliar locations. You may be surprised at how fun this can be, plus you’ll make new connections which can be extremely beneficial.

Interconnection with other people takes on new meaning as you are moving away from the need to defend yourself and exit the struggle for survival in favor of allowing yourself to flow. This enables you to have more meaningful relationships with others as love continues to grow and flow. This new perspective makes you feel more alive and able to love and accept others, and things, the way they are.

You are in less need of the approval of others as you realize that you are not living your life for their approval. You are less attracted to people who are not open, honest, empathetic or genuine, as the drama queens drift away.

You find you are far less judgmental than before as you are embracing tolerance, loving others, allowing them to be, and make their own way. You find yourself less apt to judge someone based on their appearance, the car they drive, the shoes they wear, or their facebook photo as the ability to see each individual’s innate beauty becomes more apparent.

You are no longer looking for a fight, to defend what you believe or force someone to prove their position on anything they feel is important, without disconnecting. You see the value in everyone’s need to believe. realize that all journeys are different, and honor their right to believe whatever it is in whatever way they need to.

Even when you get caught up in the rat race, which is easy to do, you become more and more able to step back, look at things from a new perspective and trade anxiety for a sense of peace.

You find yourself living a better life without regret or having to compare your life to anyone else’s. You are living a life of love and in this livingness you realize that you have found your genuine freedom and you are free indeed.

Just as you are less judgmental of others, you are finding that you are less likely to judge yourself too harshly. We all fall short, make mistakes and it’s okay, all part of the journey. Often what we learn from our missteps is far more valuable than we can see amidst our loss of balance… and we can keep moving forward, not allowing it to throw us out of the dance. We make it part of the routine.

You Spend resources (finances and time) more on experiences and less on material items. You are not dependent on adorning yourself with flashy, high fashion garments or baubles, nor are you easily impressed by compliments from competitive or jealous peers, rather you have a higher level of self esteem and would rather spend your resources on priceless experiences that create memories which could never be bought, sold or traded and are invaluable in comparison to materialistic pursuits.

Your dreams are taking on a new flavor as you realize that they need not be held afar off, out of reach, as you begin to reel them in for a closer look. You can now refine your dreams and choose to allow them to appear in this world, if you so desire. It may (or may not) be easy, but you are ready to take the action necessary to see our dreams come true.

You realize life is not a race and you allow yourself wiggle room along the way, giving yourself permission to take a sabbatical and reconnect whenever prudent, necessary, just to take a break or for the fun of it.

You are less likely to take things personally. You are no longer controlled, victimized or haunted by your past. You are now able to see your life ’til now, more as if you were reading an exciting novel, with all the good times, the bad and the unexpected plot twists, which make it all the more exciting.

 

 

Defending Your Self

Ever find yourself feeling as if you’re fully engulfed in the inherited heavy emotion of fight-or-flight and defend yourself either verbally and/or physically, just as if you were actually being attacked by a wild animal? (This is where this feeling originated with our ancestors.)

There is that part of us that seeks to protect our idea of “self” from attacks from other human beings. This part of us is highly sensitive, easily offended, feels entitled, superior, and jealous, among other motivations for defending ourselves at any real or imagined opportunity.

Nobody wants to experience pain, either physical or emotional, so we find ourselves on guard to defend ourselves, especially if we’ve been hurt in the past. In this case, anything that looks frighteningly familiar to anything associated with any pain we’ve experienced in the past, we go into an emergent emotional response, which heightens our senses and readies us for battle. Or if the opponent appears to be foreboding, we are looking for the closest exit and start preparing for a rapid departure.

This is a natural response to particular circumstances, such as

Dealing with conflict

In an attempt to protect yourself from the pain of any conflict, to defend, prevent, or disable a conflict that could escalate into a more difficult situation that might lead to injury or even loss of life.

If you’re unable to admit that you overreact in certain circumstances (which we are all prone to do), you can easily identify this self-defense mechanism being engaged in by others.

A common response in self-defense of potential conflicts is to play the blame card, blame the other person or someone else to remove the focus from you. Certainly, you could be falsely accused, or you could be in a heightened state of defensiveness due to unresolved issues from your past. And who knows what lies in the dark recesses of our hearts and minds? There can be a wide variety of pent-up emotions, fear, guilt, or shame fueling your defensiveness.

Defense is the first act of war

Byron Katie says, if you tell me that I’m mean, rejecting, hard, unkind, or unfair, I say, “Thank you, sweetheart, I can find all these in my life, I have been everything you say, and more. Together we can help me understand. Without you, how can I know the places in me that are unkind and invisible? So, sweetheart, look into my eyes and tell me again. I want you to give me everything.”

It’s interesting to sit back and watch two people defending their selves. It is not unlike hand-to-hand combat only using accusatory words instead of fisticuffs.

Protection from pain

Nobody wants to be hurt (or hurt again) so we’re on the lookout for potential painful situations. circumstances or interactions with other people. The downside to this is that surely if you are looking for demons you will find them, whether they are real or imagined.

And it’s not all in your head, as you experience psychological and physiological real pain from just the idea of there being a threat of a pending painful experience. These feelings can also create actual illnesses and diseases as well as the deterioration of the physical body, possibly ushering you to an early grave.

Even if you cannot imagine yourself as an angry person, when you are accosted by an angry person, it is a natural reaction to respond in kind, which escalates the anger into a potential battle of Armageddonistic proportions.

If you are too defensive, onlookers will be compelled to believe you are possibly guilty or hiding some demons of your own.

“The lady doth protest too much, methinks”
Hamlet (William Shakespeare)

It is not uncommon to use an alternative feeling as a bandage to cover the wounded feeling. For instance, if someone leaves us, we find it easier to reframe the whole affair, demonizing the departing partner. or convincing ourselves (and our peers) that he/she was actually undesirable and below your standards, wishing him or her “good riddance.” This does sometimes offer an adequate degree of decreased pain.

Comfortably numb

Our defensiveness does not have a healing effect on those who surround us; in fact, it has just the opposite effect. It prevents us from cultivating potentially amazing relationships with others and if you are prone to overreaction, others are likely to keep their distance out of their own self-preservation, and often we are unable to see this in our own reflection.

If left unattended, we can fall into a nearly comatose state of emotional numbness with regard to relationships. We lose all sense of love, compassion, and empathy, not to mention a lack of happiness or joy around other people. You could become a lifeless zombie just going through the motions of living a life.

Leonard Nimoy’s Spock

You find these zombies liberated from their feelings lurking on the Internet or social media via any device available. This is the only place where they can find solace or the ability to strike out at other imposing threats while hiding behind their firewall.

Others retreat into simply being completely logical, defying all sense of emotion as a nonsensical illusion, like a Vulcanic Mr. Spock from Star Trek.

Loss of self

Eventually, you are left lonely and alone. If you’ve prepared yourself for this, you won’t care and feel as though you are better off because everyone else is evil or stupid. You’re better off without having relationships with other people at all.

In this state, there is little chance of discovering your true self, as you can only do this by viewing your reflection in the eyes of others. Before you have little chance of finding and empowering the real you to emerge and celebrate all the good things this life has in store for you, you might like to explore the possibilities.

You are a very special person with so much life calling you to all the love and joy you could possibly imagine, but it may require taking a look at doing some inner deep work.

You have the right to live your life any way you want, to any degree of success or privacy you want, without any judgment whatsoever.

After all, aren’t we all just doing the best we can with what we have?

 

 

Join the Witness Protection Program

We all have a vague awareness of the Federal Witness Protection Program (WPP) or Witness Security Program (WITSEC) which has provided safe harbor federal witnesses in exchange for the full disclosure of their open unbridled testimonials.

Participants in the Witness Protection Program are given new names, birth dates and identities. Often they maintain their original first names, or names that retain their original initials. They are lightly coached and assisted in creating an effective back story and some false credentials to back up their story and sent to (edited) an undisclosed location in the United States to assume their new life.

Who wouldn’t want a piece of that action, right?

I mean, imagine… What if you could get a free pass to participate in Master’s WPP camp?

You asked for it, so hold onto your hat. Here we go… Imagine…

Your boss is being investigated by the Feds for some unscrupulous activity. You are approached by a handler who informs you that you have the option of participating in the WPP, creating a new identity, and starting a new life in a new location. You must not let on that you are participating in the program and must keep playing the part, and going on about conducting your normal life without a word to anyone.

In the Master’s WPP, you get to pick your back story, profession and credentials. You will receive a limited amount of coaching/encouragement and you will be transported via a black Escalade with blackened windows to your new location with a stipend to pay for six months’ expenses. In this six months, you are expected to network, find gainful employment or start your own business (which you must self-fund) and assume your new identity in your new community.

Get a writing instrument and a piece of paper, open up a document or notepad and get ready to start writing or typing…

What will your new identity be?

(You are not limited by your answers to these questions. This is your shopping list for your handlers to take care of the details for you… And it all must not be able to be linked to your current identity and be completely fictitious, so make ‘em good.)

What’s your new name?

How old are you?

What’s your back story?

Include details, like: Where were you born/raised? What was your family life like? What were your parents like? What kind of schools did you go to growing up? What were your youthful accomplishments?

What is your area of expertise?

What would you like your credentials to look like?

What graduate schools or college(s) did you attend and what did you study?

What does your work history look like until today?

What was the status of your immediate household until today, and what will it look like from this day henceforth?

What will your transition stories look like?

For your old life exit: What is your story to support your sudden departure? For your new life entry: What is taking place in your life at this moment that makes you want to move to this new location? These are two completely different stories.

What kind of job are you looking for or business you would like to start?

Be as imaginative and descriptive as you can.

Don’t worry about the details. Your handler will take care of massaging and refining the story to help you achieve the best possible outcome in launching your new life.

Five, four, three, two, one… Go!

Now, are you ready to say, “Goodbye,” to your old life and, “Hello,” to the new you?

I am so blessed. This is the kind of work that I do with my clients every day (okay, not every day, but often). No, I don’t have a witness protection program, and I don’t encourage people to make fraudulent credentials. But, I most certainly go through this exercise, then help people step into their new identities and start their new lives. And this work has been very satisfying for me.

You can do this today. You don’t need my help, or anybody’s for that matter.

If you participated in this exercise, the resulting answers indicate who you really are. Potentially, this is the real you that lies dormant within you, subdued and imprisoned by your history (which I promise is based on lies, but you might not be able to see that right now, and that’s okay) and yearning to be released.

Will you do it?
We’ll see.