Wrapping up the month of January, here’s a quick screenshot review of the month’s news. Let me know which ones you like the most. Thanks for your input, -David M Masters
Month: January 2018
I Don’t Want to Fake Love Anymore
Every once and a while I meet with someone who says something like, “I’m just not feeling it anymore.” They’re with someone who they once felt like they were in love with but nowadays, they feel like they’re just going through the motions and faking it. They’re uncomfortable and say, “I don’t want to fake love anymore.”
When you feel like saying,
I don’t want to fake love anymore
What can you do?
First off, you must know that love is a modulating frequency which goes up and down, in a constant state of flux. Just like the tide, love has ebb and flow. Sometimes it goes out and the beach is dry, other times love comes rushing in, like a flood.
It’s common to reach a dry spell in your relationship, when you’re feeling like you’re engaged in a false love relationship. Sometimes it feels like you’re faking your love for your partner, sometimes you’re wondering if your partner is faking his or her affections toward you.
One thing you can do is to ask yourself, “What does love mean to me?”
You’re entitled to have and hold your own definition of love. If you choose to believe that love is only that exuberant feeling of passionate desire, then that is your choice, and you will probably have a long line of successive relationships to capture and try to sustain that kind of love.
On the other hand, if you’re definition of love leans more toward longer-term relationships, you will recognize and honor love’s ebb and flow.
Let’s say you’re at your peak, you’re an Adonis or Aphrodite (which we all are, of course) and your partner has become slightly less desirable to you, no problem, there’s always someone waiting in the wings for their turn with you. Even so, you might consider the, “What if?”
What if something happened to you? What if you were in an accident, suffered disfiguring wounds (emotional or physical), lost your good looks, health, or fell ill? What then?
Would you want to be with someone who would stand by you no matter what because they love you, even if you’re not on your best game, even when times get rough? Or would you rather your partner seek out someone whom he or she felt was more desirable in that moment?
A wise lover gives the love he or she desires.
Can you prevent yourself from falsely loving someone else?
If you really want to love the person you’re with, then you just have to do it. Love your partner even when you’re not feeling it. Love is an energetic continuum of unlimited supply.
When you’re not feeling the love, fake it.
I know, you’re thinking I didn’t understand the question, but I did.
When you’re not feeling the love, engage in the activities, yes, go through the motions, acting as if you feel the love just as much as you did before. You can call it false love, or faking it, play-acting, or put any label on it you want, but something magical happens when you love someone in this manner…
Your efforts are rewarded with the feelings of love from the endless supply of love which permeates all things. Before you know it, as you act out your love in the absence of the feelings, the feelings begin to return.
If you keep doing those things that you did when you felt deeply in love, the feelings return and then some, opening the doors to new possibilities as you pass through thresholds leading to even greater love.
Or, you could just go find someone else and see where that leads you.
If you don’t want to fake love anymore, just go through the motions (not because you hate having to do it, but) because you love your partner, and the feelings will come back, and even more.
See you at the Soulmate Wizardry event.
Loving How to Communicate in Love
Heartfelt communication can make the difference between sweet love and love crisis in love and romance. How you share those most important issues any normal couple faces amidst your love life makes all the difference in love and loving. How to communicate in love with compassion is the doorway leading to the next level in your love’s exponential potential.
Dr. Harville Hendrix and Dr. Helen LaKelly Hunt created a loving technique which helps you understand how to communicate in love and relationships called the Imalgo Dialogue or “safe conversation.” This is a process of moving through communicative exchange between two people which engenders loving how to communicate in love.
Here is a basic structure you can follow to experience what it is like to engage in the loving communication model.
Let’s say your partner has something important to say to you. If you want to use this safe conversation model to have a deeper level of connection and communication with your partner, oversimplified, it would go something, like this:
1. Tell me about it.
Allow your partner to tell his or her story.
2. That’s interesting. What else?
Now, you’re inviting your partner to delve deeper into their story.
3. How does that make you feel?
This is safely inviting your partner to share how they feel, which is often overlooked in conversation, unless it is exposed when negative communication styles erupt emotionally.
4. Is there more?
Let’s face it, we’re all a little protective about how we feel. This is a safely guarded spot in our heart, where we hide our feelings. Being invited by your partner to express any underlying, deeper emotion, is not only increasing your connection, it also enables you to examine and rationalize what might be underneath why you are feeling the way you’re feeling.
5. Let me see if I’ve got that.
This is when you restate your partner’s story, and how they feel about the issue at hand in your own words, trying to see it from his or her point of view, including how he or she feels about it.
6. Is that right?
This invites your partner to make any corrections to your attempt to understand his or her point of view. Let hi or her correct you, then repeat go back to step 5. Repeat as necessary, until your partner indicates that you have a good understanding of his or her perspective and feelings regarding the topic at hand.
7. Is there more?
This introduces a loop back to step 4 which might appear to be redundant but actually, your partner has often uncovered more about the topic of this discussion, discovered new information, and found links to other emotional issues from the past. There may be new information to share.
When all is said and done, you can lovingly let your partner know,
“I see how that make sense. And understanding that, I see that it could make you feel…” fully supporting him or her without interrupting, challenging, or judgment. This is compassion in action.
You can find out more about the Imalgo Dialogue in Getting the Love You Want, A Guide for Couples by Dr. Harville Hendrix and Dr. Helen LaKelly Hunt.
See you at the Soulmate Wizardry event.
Top 20 Complaints
Going over the details of the most popular complaints of one-on-one clients last year, one can’t help but wonder if to following Top 20 complaints are congruent with the complaints dealt with by other coaches, counselors, and consultants.
Here are the
Top 20 Complaints
1. I Am Depressed
There was a dominance in the number of people dealing with issues related to depression from a wide variety of root issues. Out emphasis on treating those struggling with depression included non-medical/pharmaceutical approaches to dealing with their issues.
2. Stressed Out
It appears that these days, people are more and more stressed out all the time. Our team of specialists deliver high-end quality results quickly without resorting to pharmaceutical medicines or interventions which relieve stress but result in depression.
3. Loneliness
You wonder how anyone could feel lonely on a planet with seven-and-a-half billion people on it. Nonetheless, due to the lack of authentic connection people are feeling more alone on a consistently increasing basis. With the movement from real-life interactions to digital interactions, it’s no wonder people are feeling disconnected and alone.
4. Fear of Failure
Fear of failure is a constant complaint among those who seek us out for assistance along their life’s journey. Their fears range the gamut, everything from fear of attempting to fix something (for fear of making the issue even worse) to trying something new.
5. Money Matters
This last year was a struggle for many with unexpected changes in the world and money matters of all kinds. There is a great deal of anxiety in areas surrounding finances and struggling with money issues.
6. Unworthiness
It seems with the lack of self-esteem and emotional baggage carried forward from childhood, more people are standing between themselves and all the good things in life that are waiting for them. It takes concerted effort, but our clients are now more confident and living better lives.
7. Fear of Death and Dying
A lot of people have passed away of late from natural causes and from the results of unhealthy lifestyles. Grief is ever-consuming and for those who are left behind, they are reviewing their own lives and fearing their own demise, which is a good thing because there’s still time left for them to make a difference.
8. Life is Not Fair
There are a lot of people who are feeling like they’re unrealistically “under the gun” feeling like they’re being treated unfairly at work, at home, in social circles and even within their own families. We all know that life is not fair, and the good news is that tools and techniques are available to empower you to take charge of your life and turn the unfairness around.
9. Lack of Love
Love is the most powerful energy in the universe and feeling as though you have no love can have you feeling as if you just can’t do it alone. There is so much love for you here. If you’re not feeling loved, we can help you find so much love that is waiting for you and basking in this love will attract even more love to you like a love magnet.
10. Lack of Opportunity
There are those who are looking for the next big thing, maybe they’ve once had a piece of some good action in the past, or maybe they’ve never know riding that amazing winning horse called, “Opportunity.” There is so much opportunity, you don’t even know, and there is an unlimited supply for those who seek it.
11. Lack of Abundance
We all want a better life, but it can be hard to make the ends meet, let alone grasp a handful of abundance here and there along the way. For those who are in the know everything you’ve ever wanted is waiting for you not far off. We can help you get from where you are to where you want to be.
12. Is There a Higher Purpose in Living Life?
There is a higher purpose in life waiting for you. In fact, you were born with your life’s purpose in tact but by the time you were six or seven years old, your family and society had you forgetting it for fitting-in, playing your part in the play of life, and being an effective part of the machine. One of the most important things you can do in life is to awaken to your higher purpose and empower your life full by embroiling yourself in the accomplishment of your divine mission.
13. Lack of Positive Enthusiasm
Positive enthusiasm is also referred to as motivation. No one can motivate you, at least not for very long. We help you find ways to find your motivation and positive enthusiasm from within, placing you back in the driver’s seat of your enthusiastic life (maybe for the first time).
14. Declining Health and Wellness
The world is a crazy place and people are becoming more and more aware that doctors, while they may be necessary to save your life in an emergency, long-term care is not their strongest skill set. Awakening people are seeking out natural alternative resources for increasing health and wellness for a happier and healthier long life.
15. Illusive Happiness
Unhappiness is running rampant in our society. People are so disappointed to be living a good life but never being able to taste real happiness. There is so much potential for true happiness all around you, it’s just that you’re distracted by life and any hope of being happy is just lost in the fog of everyday life. You enjoy otherwise illusive happiness in a heartbeat, increasing your quality of life.
16. Can’t Seem to Get Ahead
Stagnancy is making people feel unsatisfied about their lives as they feel like they’re helpless to change their life for the better. They are commonly stuck in the frequency of the “same ol’ same ol’” drudgery of life in their job, family, personal pursuits, and love life, leading to accepting complacency in life. We help people start living the lives they’ve always wanted and start living a better life every day.
17. Little Sense of Personal Value
Some of us have a sense of skills and talents which we have and contribute to our jobs, the community, and/or our families but rarely, if ever, get recognized for the value we bring to the table. Get ready to realize your life fully charged with all your super powers and special abilities intact.
18. Exhaustion (mental and physical)
You can only take a beating in this life for so long before you start feeling as though you just can’t go on. There are natural supplements and lifestyle changes and tweaks which can put you back in the empowered energy flow of life.
19. Lack of Trust (myself or others)
We’ve all trusted someone and then realized we were foolish to do so. It is disappointing and painful to learn that some people cannot be trusted, and it’s easy to assume that there is no one who can be trusted. Trust betrayal can be an enormous challenge for you. Maybe it’s time to learn how to deal with breaches of trust, healing from the betrayal(s), and learn to trust again.
20. Distressed by Negative News and Media
The negative news and reporting in the news and media can keep you moderating at lower level vibrational frequencies and helps to keep us as people separated and polarized against each other. There is a better way. You can start by not burying your head in the sand, but by taking control of the news and media which you are exposed to.
Are You Exclusive or Inclusive?
When you’re going through life doing the best you can there’s a good chance you have a general lifestyle which is exclusive or inclusive. Are you exclusive or inclusive? Both are very good and revered styles of living your life. Exclusive people tend to repel or exclude participants while traveling along their life’s journey, while inclusive people have a tendency to attract or include people to play in their lives. What do you think?
Are you exclusive or inclusive?
There are highly successful people in both camps, those who prefer to maintain a high level of creativeness and productivity in isolation, and those who are more brilliant when they are surrounded by others. There is no right or wrong way to do it as it depends greatly on your basic personality and personal preference.
If you are either exclusive or inclusive due to some negative experience from the past, then you could be operating in exclusivity or inclusivity in a negative vibration. In this scenario, you could be doing yourself a disservice if your intention is to live a highly expansive life.
Isolating yourself, or huddling people around you as a means of self-protection based on low level (fear) vibrations, only helps to support and maintain those negative frequencies around you, preventing you from having access to the higher love vibrations/frequencies.
Establishing an exclusive or inclusive lifestyle in opposition of your natural expansive energy field might be important to do in response to a negative experience or influence for a season because doing the opposite will help you have a sense of safety and security while you readjust. Following a time of healing or reprieve, you and your life are better served by getting yourself back in the expansive flow.
If you get stuck into your oppositional energy field (though you will feel comfortable) your expansion and growth will be hindered. If you are one of the exclusive people and you’ve huddled many people around you in order to protect yourself, you are limiting your ability to live your life “in the zone” and likewise, if you’re normally in a high vibration when surrounded by others, then retreat to hibernate in isolation, you are not supporting your best interests long-term.
Exclusive People
Exclusive people tend to prefer to work alone and do their best work in private but if you’re an inclusive person acting exclusively, you are not operating at your highest and best and your exclusion of others will be more or a pushing away.
There is a distinct difference between exclusively maintaining a high vibratory frequency in private, and pushing others out of your life to isolate yourself when you know you are more of the inclusive persuasion.
Inclusive People
Inclusive people always operate at their highest and best frequencies of love and above when they are surrounded by others and they are often inviting others to come along to play in their game(s). This is when they do their best work.
But if you’re an exclusive person (you know you are better served and can reach your highest potentials with a higher degree of privacy) acting as if you are inclusive and surrounding yourself with others based in fear (fear or loss, exposure, risk, failure, etc.) you know you could do better.
Whether you are exclusive or inclusive, the key factor is your highest vibration and motivation for being either exclusive or inclusive.
It might be a good idea to review your tendency to be more exclusive or inclusive and ask yourself,
Why?
Because in the “why” is held the key which can open your life to more love, happiness, growth, and abundance in your more evolutionary expansive life.
Maybe it’s time to say, “Yes,” to your highest and best.
I Want My Life to Mean Something
Since you come to this planet with a specific purpose, message, passion, and mission (PMPM) it’s no surprise when the desire to seek more meaning in your life arises. Even though the purpose of societization is to control large numbers of people in groups, and to do so it must squelch your awareness of your PMPM, still you awaken from the fog periodically and feel, think, or say, “I want my life to mean something.”
For what is a life without meaning?
To be a productive member of society, you should maintain the prescribed status quo, align yourself with particular groups, and maintain your function as part of the machine. Within the confines of acceptable societal behavior, you may express some individuality (but not too much) as you play your part amidst the herd mentality of the general population.
While this is an extremely effective method of controlling a large group of people, the fact remains that the current version of the human experience has far more potential, and people just like you are awakening to this realization, either querying or insisting that there must be more… and there is… so much more than you’ve been allowed to imagine.
I want my life to mean something
is the beckoning call of your spirit crying out for freedom and empowerment to be uniquely you and to exercise your life’s divine assignment; to live your life on purpose, delivering your unique message (singing your own song) with passion as you pursue and accomplish your own mission while traveling along your life’s journey.
Upon your arrival to this planet you knew your calling, even as a young child, but your family, peers, and educators (as well-trained as they are at subjugating others who might have a tendency to stray from the mainstream), supported by the media and enforced by controlling organizations, were able to stifle your awareness. Usually, by the age of seven, or so, any thoughts you might have had about your purpose, message, passion, and mission, were written or as the wild imaginings of a child or forgotten altogether.
But they never go away.
Your reason for coming here in the first place is to serve and add value to someone, if not everyone else. Your life is full of meaning and desires to express all that you have to offer the local community and the world at large. While there is breath in your lungs and your heart yet beats, your mission is waiting to be embraced and launched.
Your life, the very life that you have lived up to this moment in time, was perfectly aligned for the integration and release of your mission. You were born with specific gifts and special abilities, and along the way, you were afforded the opportunity to amass a wide variety of experience and knowledge in perfect harmony with your life’s message and mission.
This is the meaning you seek in your life.
When you look back at your life from an objective point of view, you can see how all the events of your life, the precious, the good, the bad, and the ugly, all have contributed to making you the person you are today, and you are more qualified to embrace your purpose with passion than ever before.
Those who are waiting for you to make your contribution are praying to hear what it is you have to say.
So, if you’re at the point in your life when you’re looking back at your life and saying, “I want my life to mean something,” then it’s up to you to take the next step. It doesn’t have to be an enormous step but just moving closer to your life’s purpose is worth the effort.
Try to remember who you were before the age of seven, discover and document all those things in life which resonate with you, those activities and thought patterns which seem to come naturally, and time just slips away when your fully engulfed in them. What are your gifts and special abilities? Those things that come easily to you that others are impressed with.
Is there a certain type of people with a particular concern or complaint who seek you out for information, advice, support, or a gentle word? This may be God’s way of telling you what you should be doing on a wider scale.
There is nothing better than living a life aligned with your purpose, message, passion, and mission. This is the life that is calling you to a better life, your best life, and you through your contribution(s) will make the world a better place.
Will you dare to exercise your birthright?
Dr Jekyll Mr Hyde Safety
Ever wonder why someone who could be perfectly nice, even-tempered, supportive, polite and friendly can suddenly turn into a hot mess of dysfunction, discontent, hateful, or downright mean? Before you start jumping to conclusions about Multiple Personality Disorder (MPD), or Bipolar Disorder, consider this person may be practicing a form of self-preservation, a sort of Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde safety net, or precautionary forcefield.
People will do the darndest things to protect themselves when they feel threatened or are triggered, and it’s nearly impossible to know what’s going on inside someone’s head. People carry with them a lifetime of experiences, some of which can be quite frightening or painful, and the human psyches will do just about anything to avoid the risk of suffering due to the reinjury of an unhealed emotional wound.
This is a very base survival instinct at work, which if viewed without judgment, would be impossible not to empathetically understand from a compassionate point of view, rather than picking up stones to hurl them, retaliate, punish, or stomp out someone who is simply trying to make it through life in the best way that they possibly can.
To you, looking at the surface condition, you might witness someone with whom you’ve had a particularly peaceful and close relationship, suddenly experience a dramatic change in character, and might become quite abrasive, mean, and/or nasty. Naturally, you recoil because you’ve been surprised by the sudden change in character, but wait, and consider what might be going on behind the scenes before you accuse or defend yourself.
We all have different skill sets and respond to threats differently based on our experience. Some people who have suffered trauma, abuse, have low self-esteem, or have not learned high performance coping skills may have fewer tools available to them to reach for when they are triggered and may act out inappropriately to isolate themselves from a perceived threat… and they may not be very nice about it. You might even think they are being rude or mean.
Some people with low self-esteem will strike out at well-intended friends, or people who are getting close to them, as a way to protect themselves from being hurt. They have a sense of safety and security in being isolated and threatened by being too close to someone, or vulnerable. For them, it is better to be safe, by pushing people away, than sorry (potentially exposing themselves to potential pain).
Others try to manufacture a safe environment around themselves wherein they can safely navigate their lives by maintaining a high degree of control. They have strict guidelines that participants in their life can safely move about within. Step outside the boundaries they have set and expect to be ejected. Depending on the skills they have accumulated at the time, your expulsion may be unglamorous and hurtful. Nonetheless, this person is doing the best they can to preserve their sanity while maneuvering his or her way through life.
Fear is the predominant motivator of these incongruent outbursts. If you are afraid of losing your life, you are likely to act in ways that are not normal for you in an effort to prolong life. The same is true for some people who are afraid to lose their reputation, love, connections, finances, sanity, safety, or security.
Such a person might strike out at you when they are feeling vulnerable or threatened by name-calling, devaluing you, raising their voice, threatening, or right-out total rejection of you. They may try to blame you for anything they might be feeling, falsely accuse you, or even use their influence to discredit or demonize you.
Such a person will feel better not having you amidst his or her presence and not feel much guilt for getting you out of their life, either momentarily, or permanently. To soothe themselves, they will often huddle people around themselves, polarizing them against you, to justify and make sense of their outburst.
Again, do not take it personally. This person is in pain, and they are doing the best they can with what they have, even if they appear to be acting out in a Mr. Hyde fit of rage. Just because they are acting mean doesn’t mean they are a bad person.
Have compassion and empathy for such a person who is trying to make it through this life carrying such heavy weight of burden from their past, anguish, and pain.
May God bless them, and hopefully, they find better ways to live a better life. If not, they are not wrong or broken for doing the best they can with what they have. They are perfect, and we love them just the way they are.
Living in 3D from 5D
There is a part of our population who are living in the 3D experience from the fifth-dimension perspective. They are interdimensional beings living in 3D from 5D.
They are experiencing this life, every part of it, from a perspective of a completely different dimension possessing multidimensional consciousness.
These people are quite different in how they approach living this life.
They feel somewhat disconnected from the human experience.
They look at life happening all around them, yet are not affected by the bad news and circumstances which take place every day around us. They watch the news and are not afraid. In fact, they are so unaffected by the news, that they might not have any interested in what is being reported in the media because they feel as though they are isolated from the emotional impact of the reporting, or feel that it might not resonate as truth to them.
When a normal inhabitant of the 3D living in the third-dimension becomes aware of something shocking or are frightened may respond with an emotional response connected to primal fight-or-flight instincts, someone living in 3D from 5D is more likely to respond with, “Interesting.”
They are definitely experiencing life in 3D, like the rest of us, but they are doing so from the conscious perspective of 5D awareness. For those living in 3D from 5D, their experience is more like watching a movie or playing a part on a movie set, with the full knowledge that their “real” life is waiting for them off stage.
Whether you are aware of it or not, the human race is being introduced to the interdimensional being within us which is in the process of emerging through the process of evolution.
While they might be quickly judged as suffering from dissociative disorders, such as dissociative amnesia, dissociative fugue, depersonalization disorder and dissociative identity disorder, they are more likely to align themselves with the idea from philosophical masters.
Jesus is perceived as being a fifth dimensional being, and His quote is often cited, that He was not from this world, and His followers could also transcend the third dimension with Him to the fifth dimension by His statement, “They are not of the world, even as I am not of the world” (John 17:16).
Obviously, they inhabit the Earth in the third dimension in a three-dimensional body but their consciousness is aware of life from another vantage point.
Just as the physiological suffering which Jesus endured was very real and painful, He was able (for the most part) to view His own experience from the higher dimension (which could have been as high as the seventh-dimension, or possibly higher) where He and His Father resides.
Today, Jesus would have been diagnosed with a dissociative disorder, or messiah complex, savior complex, or Christ complex, among other mental health disorders, and while He might suffer the same rejection, His end might have been a bit more sanely attained. He might have been assassinated by a lone gunman, or fall victim to an early death from “natural causes.”
Nonetheless, there are a growing number of people who are adopting the “in the world but not of the world” perspective, and to them feeling as though the greater part of them exists outside the three-dimensional grid is a welcomed thought.
Maybe we all could learn a thing or two from the cross-dimensional beings who claim to be “only visiting this planet” from another dimension…
It certainly does empower one to be less affected by the hurdles we all face and the atrocities which we are presented with in the media every day.
Evolution of Love in Relationships
Then there is an emerging new paradigm in terms of romantic love and relationships which is altering the landscape of love and the partnering of two people. In this new style of loving and growing both independently and corporately there is no competition or discord as there is only love.
This, radical and expanded form of love is the evolution of love in relationships is non-competitive nor manipulative and centers around the idea of unconditional love.
The love as presented in the 7 phases of love is traditional romantic love. For couples to navigate modern-day, traditional love, entire industries, and even the government are supported by both the function and dysfunction of love and relationships in this fashion.
As a growing number of couples are moving into this evolutionary new style of expansive growth and love, already there are pairs of people who have not made a conscious effort to create this type of loving relationship.
Most of the couples living their lives amidst this evolution of love in relationships have made a conscious effort to allow this type of love to emerge and flourish in their lives, and the process is not easy, as it runs counter-intuitively to everything you’ve been taught, learned, or thought was expected of you in love and relationships.
Still, there are these couples who simply have arrived at healthy caring and loving unconditional love naturally. This is a clear indication that this is the next step in romantic love and relationships, and when this evolutionary love reaches critical mass, the entire world in which we live will change dramatically.
The world, which is based on the dysfunction of traditional love will no longer become sustainable and it will fall, making way for a new world of peace and harmony for all people and future generations.
This new love revolution is based on a combination of ancient traditions, emerging thought, and consciousness, resulting in a freely empowered style of love and loving that has both been long forgotten and never realized among the human race until now.
It’s not for everyone, as many surviving couples today are well-skilled and trained in the science of love as represented in the 7 phases of love, but if you’re feeling like there’s something more, a deeper, more sustainable and evolutionary love out there, your heart may be inviting you to move on to this expansive love.
If you feel you might like to participate in this new style of love and loving, you might consider investigating the idea for yourself.
Consider joining the evolutionary love revolution in loving like you never have before, in a higher, more satisfying style of love and loving, which promotes a better life, your best life, and makes the world a better place.
New love awaits you and yours. Seek out Awakening to True Love or any of the other emerging workshops and/or resources, if you dare enter the world of unconditional love by choice, coming to a bookstore and other media outlets near you.
An Awakening to True Love Workshop may be coming to your location.
True love will never be the same, again.
See you at the Soulmate Wizardry event.
Love’s Spell is Broken
You’ve fallen in love and have submitted to the overflow of love drugs which have overtaken the control of your physiology. You’ve obsessed about your partner, you have all the signs of being in love, you’ve gone forward as a couple, then one day you wake up out of the love fog, take a good (sober) look at your partner, and ask yourself, “Who is this?” as love’s spell is broken.
Love’s Spell is Broken
As love’s spell is broken, your brain chemistry is returning to normal and you’re starting to wonder, “How did I get here?” These free brain chemicals are the drug-gift humanity has been blessed with which has allowed us to grow to a population of over 7 billion.
Your logical, conscious brain has been clouded by increased levels of oxytocin, dopamine, serotonin, testosterone, and estrogen, which after a while diminishes and you start to see your partner as he or she really is.
When these hormone levels are high, you project yourself, your hopes and dreams upon your partner, and you believe these things to be true. As the level returns to normal your projection fades and you start to see your partner more objectively, and you start to object, likely to think your partner has changed.
It is far more likely that your partner has not changed because people are pretty much who they are and are fairly transparent, showing you who they really are, but you fail to see it because you’ve fallen in love (or rather, gotten stoned on love’s drugs), and your desire to be in love interpreted this person as your dream come true.
When you’re under the influence of love’s chemistry, those little idiosyncrasies seem like cute little characteristics which endear you to your partner. Once love’s spell is broken, these very same characteristics become the annoying traits, which make you feel like love is lost, and you are not the harmonious partners you thought you were when you were stoned in love.
This is the critical phase of love which likely indicates that it may be time to leave, or least it feels that way, and in most cases, relationships end when it becomes apparent that things are not as they appeared not long ago.
From this drug-free perspective, you mightimaginethat you just cannot go on another day under these circumstances.
One or both partners begin to believe the entire relationship was built on a false premise and that there is a better person out there better suited for either one or both of you to pursue a relationship with. This is when it is thought that the grass is greener on the other side of the fence.
So, this is the end.
Or it is the beginning of a more mature type of love which is waiting for you to discover it on the other side of the breaking of love’s spell.
For the couples who are able to move past the breaking of love’s spell, there is a greater love which awaits, but it will take more concerted effort. While stoned-in-love little or no effort or attention need be exerted in the relationship, everything seems so simple and free but once you’ve decided to see what is on the other side of love’s rave, it will require more work to move into the next phase of love.
See you at the Soulmate Wizardry event.