Category: Blog

Millennial Work Ethic

There’s no doubt, Millennials want to work less and expect more than hard-working Boomers. It leaves quite a division in the workplace as business owners with marginal budgets try to manage labor costs with productivity. How is the Millennial work ethic affecting small business?

Millennials have had it pretty good. They grew up with cell phones and tablets in their hands along with technological automation forcing them to acclimatize to the idea that less than desirable jobs can be performed with some degree of efficacy by robots, requiring fewer humans to be needed in businesses which can afford the technology.

We are seeing many businesses close left and right due to the huge gap between full automation (or inexpensive imports) and businesses that could maintain a profit, or at least run in the black, using human labor. Those days are gone. The millennials are pleased about this.

Working hard for a dollar is unglamorous, to say the least, but they still want the money to get the things they want, and the things they want aren’t cheap. So, they have to get a job.

While there are still some small businesses surviving and hiring individuals to work, there are many opportunities for Millennials to find a job, though the job may not be a premium position, it will allow them to pay some bills and get-by meagerly if they are frugal. But how long can you live like that?

I do a good deal of work with entrepreneurs who are always looking for good talent. They hire continuously from the available labor market at above-expected pay rates and are more often than not disappointed with the talent they have to choose from.

Their business models are based on being able to earn a return on their labor expenses to maintain their bottom line, so the need for a certain amount of productivity is imperative if they are to survive over time.

They report the Millennial labor pool is less concerned about their contribution and more concerned about doing as little as possible for the highest wage. Their opinion is that there is less work ethic and sense of being a part of the team. If something goes amiss in their department, they jump right to, “Oh well, it’s not my job,” then reach for their cell phone to check their messages while their coworker is left to frustratingly fend for themselves.

Back in the day, any of us would have pitched in to help someone else in our department, instead of using it as an opportunity to check our social media accounts (which, unfortunately – or fortunately – didn’t exist years ago).

These employers have a high rate of turnover, not for the reason you might think. If you’re like me, you think they’d be firing these low-productivity employees. No, they keep them on with the hopes of trying to eek out enough to cover the expenses. But what really happens is, when the employees get the idea that management might not be pleased with their performance, they walk off, or don’t show up the next day for their scheduled shift. Gone. No call, no show. Good luck.

There is no respect for the employer, even enough to give them notice. These complaints are common among employers all over the United States, and usually includes the mention of, “entitlement,” somewhere within the conversation.

Then there’s this: The people who own the factories which were inherited from their ancestors, have no one to take over the business because those millennials who are heirs to the industrial revolution’s hand-down have no interest in working in the manner required to take it over and run it. They don’t want it, even if it were given to it.

It’s no wonder these businesses are closing. If it’s not enough to have to compete with foreign labor markets and huge competitors who can slay your business in one fell swoop.

The answer?

Find new ways to do business, or other businesses to be in, where your reliance on Millennial labor is decreased enough to manage your business successfully, or create a businesses model that is so incredibly profitable (high margin business) affording you to pay inflated labor costs to unproductive employees.

 

Daddy, Where Are You?

Living in a home run by a single mother is no easy task, yet we do the best we can with what we have. If you were raised in a fatherless home, it’s easy to fall into your statistical inheritance. Chances are, if you were raised without a dad, you’re more likely to drop out of school, have emotional problems, run away from home, and have a criminal background; three to five times more likely than your peers.

In fact, being raised by your mother only may prevent you from growing into adulthood at all as you are five times more likely to commit suicide before you turn 21.

Times have changed. Back in the day, families staying together was a matter of survival. In modern society, much less importance is placed on the family as it is easier to walk away with few consequences if any, though mothers are more empowered to leave relationships that could be potentially abusive or dangerous.

More and more the growing number of us are being raised by single moms.

As children who were raised by a mother-only household, as adults, you’re more likely to be financially disadvantaged, have poor educational and social skills, be prone to alcoholism, illicit drug use, and continued trouble with the law.

In adult prisons, 39% of men and 42% of women were raised in homes without a dad.
Moms, thank you so much for what you did for us. We know you sacrificed and did the best you could, and we love you immensely for it, even if things didn’t turn out the way you hoped or had planned. We honor you and hope that our lives will reflect our gratitude for the life you gave us.

Not having a positive father figure can leave a hole inside you that if left empty will leave you longing for something… a loving father… or something else to fill the void.

The good news is that you do not have to let yourself become a statistic. At any time in your life, you can make a choice to carve out a life for yourself independent from what society may expect from you, as many others have.

I am one of those statistic-breaking individuals. Of course, I didn’t do it alone. Everyone makes their own way through life in their own way, and though others may have broken through the confines of societal expectation in ways similar to the way I did, everyone’s story is very unique.

For me, I discovered sanity and solace in God in my senior year of high school. I became so enthralled with the idea that I threw myself into religious activities full-heartedly. Billy Graham told me that I was blessed to not have a father because it allowed me to have a direct connection with God, without having to submit to my father.

I took his words to heart. I studied, engaged in the ministry, turned 18, married, and started a family.

After a while, even though we worked together in ministry, our marriage ended, and I started to notice things in organized religion were not as they seemed. My heart broke in many ways, but continued my ministry outside of strict religious confines, in the form of coaching, counseling, and consulting, which allowed my effectiveness in the world to grow.

Along the way, I felt like I made the best decisions to support my ex-wife and children at every opportunity with varying results, confident about my vision for long-term effects.

I also dabbled in musicianship, teaching, mentoring, entrepreneurialism, law enforcement, absorbed a myriad of helping and healing modalities to benefit my clients as well as myself and continued my personal exploration, expansion, and evolution.

At times, I thought the whole world was chaotic and crumbling all around me, but as I persisted to grow and be open to emerging awareness as I was able to perceive them beyond the veil of what would be considered widely held beliefs, I would experience a personal growth spurt.

It wasn’t long, and I noticed other people who were also going through a process of awakening.

While it sounds like a great idea, in the beginning, it is a difficult path to choose for one’s self, because this endeavor is not an easy path to pursue. It’s much easier just blindly going through life comfortably numb, that to face the challenges that lay ahead for awakening expansion explorers.

For me, it meant being in the world but not of the world. Being open to all the possibilities, ever consciously aware of my friends, relatives, and clients (or anyone, for that matter) to be wherever they were on their own individual journeys, regardless of whatever I, or anyone else, might think.

I could be fully empathetic, engaged, and offer only love and support for them, without judgment.

This has been my life’s journey, sharing and serving, and I am so excited about every day that I have left to fully experience even more in this life.

All this to say, you, too, can make a choice to not be a statistic.

Maybe you have been a statistic up to this point. You may feel as though your experience ‘til now limits or defines you. This is a lie. This is the lie that is propagated by society, that statistics are what they are, and there is nothing you can do about it. You are a lost cause.

You are not a lost cause.

You came to this life fully prepared, endowed with special gifts and abilities which are unique to you. You have a divine purpose for which you were called, and the world needs you to discover who you really are and is in dire need of the emergence of the real you.

Now it’s up to you. What will you do to change the who, who you are, to be who you were meant to be?

And all the experiences you have endured up to this point have been keenly offered to you as blessed education which has prepared you for this moment.

This is your time.

Your time is now.

Daddy, Where Are You?

Who Are Your Real Friends?

You’re a friendly person. You’ve made some friends. Then one day you wake to discover that there are friends and there are “friends.” So, who are your real friends?

Friends may look and feel similar on the surface, you feel good around them and have fun. When things get lean or rough, or maybe you need a little more support than usual, that’s when you find out who are your real friends.

Real friends have your back no matter what, unlike friends who may not be so genuine who make themselves scarce when times get rough. They are supportive of you, even when you suggest that you might like to try a bit of coloring outside the lines. If you want to explore or experience something new, they may or may not agree, or come along, but they will always support your right to do so and be excited to hear your stories about how it went, without judgment.

Over time friends get increased access to all the different sides of you. As they get to know you and all idiosyncrasies, real friends see these as interesting or “cute” sides of yourself, even that whacky unpredictable side of you that very few people know. They see these as individualities which make you a “cool” person, and they feel a sense of honor for getting to know you more intimately.

Unlike your shallower friends, those who are your real friends accept you just the way you are, however and whenever that might be. You don’t have to get dressed-up or fix yourself up to do a live video chat with your real friends. And they know that it goes both ways. You can meet at a coffee shop in your sweats like it’s “no thing.” It doesn’t matter because you share more than a superficial surface connection.

All your friends want you to make time for them, and you do a pretty good job, but what about when you would like them to come along with you, or meet you to share some quality time? Where are they? Your real friends will make time for you, even if it’s outside their normal schedule because real friends actually care about you, just as much as you care about them.

When you really need someone talk to, to share your heart with, your real friends will be there supporting you even in your toughest of times. If you’re sad, they might feel just as sad as you do but will try to be the strength you need when times get hard. They do not impose their views or advice, nor tell you what to do about whatever it is that’s troubling you. They let you express yourself fully, without judgment, empathetically supporting you along the way, reassuring you that things will be okay.

When all the other friends have faded away, your real friends will still be there. Even after long periods of time of not being in each other’s presence, when you get together again, it’s not like one day has passed and you pick up right where you left off.

And when you step on the wayside, lose your balance and falter, if they are not there to catch you when you fall, they will be there to help you pick up the pieces. Even if you’ve done something that has inadvertently caused harm to your friends, your real friends will not hold a grudge and they will forgive you because they are compassionate and know that they make mistakes, too, sometimes.

Above all your real friends value your confidence. They trust you and you trust them. You can tell your most intimate secrets to a real friend, and they will not tell your tales behind your back. Real friends protect you and respect you’re entrusting them with these sensitive details.

Who are your real friends? They’re the ones who’ve got you, no matter what.

A real friend has the potential to become your best friend.

The other friends, who might not be so genuine, will show their true colors soon enough. Hopefully, you don’t have to learn about them through friend betrayal.

Try not to judge them, for they are only doing the best they can with what they have. Maybe they will learn how to be better friends later in life. Who knows?

What is Emotional Abuse?

Physical abuse is fairly easy to diagnose, while on the other hand, emotional abuse is more vague and can be confusing for someone who is not experienced in determining what is emotional abuse.

Physical abuse and emotional abuse share the same cycle of abuse. In this way, they are similar, though emotional abuse is often confused with difficult communication which is a necessary component in a successful relationship. It is important (non-abusive and respectful of the relationship) to understand what constitutes emotional abuse.

The effects of an emotional abuser often go unnoticed at first and build over time in a relationship, until it finally dawns on the victim that emotional abuse has occurred. Also, it is so easy to jump to a conclusion when your partner suddenly says or does something that you don’t like, then to accuse them of emotional abuse. Doing so would be a form of emotional abuse. ‘Ere the need to have your wits about you and know what is and what is not emotional abuse.

What is Emotional Abuse?

Emotional abuse comes in basically four categories, disrespect, controlling, accusatory, and isolative.

Disrespect

Disrespectful emotional abuse includes an underlying tone which threatens how you feel about yourself, is often critical, makes you feel valueless, or humiliated. Some of the verbal tools used by the emotional abuser may include words like, stupid, idiot, or retard.

They will assault your character, call you childish, or when they don’t like what you’re saying or doing, challenge you to, “act like a grownup,” suggest you, “put on your big boy pants,” or, “man up.”

They will take pot shots, embarrassing you in public, are sarcastic, insulting, and make you the brunt of their jokes in public. Off-screen, they assure you they were just joking, so you shouldn’t take it personally. After all, he or she was just having fun (at your expense).

They are patronizing, like, “Oh don’t worry your little self. No one would expect too much from you. You’re just doing the best you can with what you have.” Possibly accompanied by an eye-roll or some other gesture which communicates exactly how disrespectful they are being.

They push your buttons, to make you fly off the handle, then accuse you of lacking sanity or self-control.

And the worst of them are loud. They raise their voices, assert threatening postures, and/or other body language to intimidate or threaten you.

Controlling

Threats are a huge component for controllers. They will threaten to take off with your child, harm you (fully awake or in your sleep), your family, your friends, or pet, and if that doesn’t work, they may threaten to engage in self-harm or threaten to commit suicide to get you to comply with their demand, or threaten to leave and abandon you.

They need to know everything about you all the time; what you’re doing, where you’re doing it, in the presence of whom, and for how long. Often demanding a minute by minute play by play reporting. Any lack of verifiable evidence is cause for suspicion and false accusations, putting you on the defensive.

They are paranoid, always suspicious, and are susceptible to spying, digital monitoring, may even demand access to your phone, social media accounts, browsing history, and email.

They make promises they have no intention of keeping, and make decisions without consulting with you, which may include making plans, canceling plans, making financial decisions, or any other method of usurping their control over you with no regard for you or your input.

They go on and on, lecturing you to utter boredom, when all you can do is hear the dull roar of a sociopathic monologue, then they get mad and attack you because you’re not paying attention.

Controllers bark their demands, then expect you to “snap to,” in complete compliance without questioning their authority.

Expect controllers to suddenly blow up or emotionally explode when you forget the slightest detail of any demand they may have had (then brace yourself for another lengthy lecture or a laundry list of threats).

Trying to accommodate a controller might be enough to drive you crazy because they will be so constant and relentless with their demands and expectations, that no normal person could possibly keep up with it, which makes you inadequate in their eyes, and they won’t be shy about letting you know that you let them down, reminding you of your shortfalls periodically along the way.

Accusatory

You are to blame for everything while they remain superior and flawless. Better get used to everything being your fault.

They excel at being green monsters of jealousy with the potential to go into an accusatory rage because you are an unfaithful cheater and cannot be trusted.

They will flip any unfortunate circumstance to be your fault, even if it was clearly their doing that presented the difficult situation.

Do not accept any responsibility from the accusatory emotional abuser because they never do anything wrong. If it’s not you they are blaming, it’s someone or something else. They are always the victim.

If you try to get them to own up to their abuse, oh no, it’s not their being abusive, it’s you who is the abuser. Wake up and get it straight.

You will always be indebted to them so they can use guilt to persuade you to comply because of what they did for you, and you owe them.

And if you caught them red-handed in the act? Nope. Didn’t happen. They weren’t even there and had nothing to do with it. It’s all just your jealous overactive imagination and unbridled insecurity which makes you crazy and delusional.

Isolative

They will create a social vacuum for you to exist within, where nothing else exists except for you and the emotional abuser. Say, “goodbye” to family and friends because the emotional abuser wants you totally dependent on him or her for any of your needs.

And your needs will never be as important as the emotional abuser’s needs, so don’t expect many of them to be provided because his or her needs will always come before yours.

The emotional abuse will be framed in a construct of militaristic restraints. You will be expected to comply with your emotional abuser’s demands, or else. Not unlike an abusive Drill Sergeant, you are expected to, “Jump when I say jump.” And your response better not be, “Why?” It better be, “How high?” followed by your body being in the air or else you will suffer the consequences.

Alternatively, the isolative emotional abuser will isolate you from him or her, punishing you by cutting you off, ignoring you, refusing to communicate with you, or withholding positive attention, intimacy, or sex.

If you try to express your concerns, they will belittle you, accuse you of being needy or immature. If you react by responding emotionally or be moved to tears, they will not acknowledge your feelings and ignore or act annoyed by your being emotionally expressive, which is clearly unacceptable behavior.

What is not emotional abuse?

Emotional abuse is not your partner’s response which is not what you want to hear. Everyone is different, we all have our own ideas about what we want and how we expect to be treated in a relationship. You must respect your partner’s right to express him- or herself in any way that works for him or her.

Disagreeing, arguing, even fighting amongst couples is not necessarily emotional abuse even though it can cause you emotional pain. Difficult conversations even fighting are necessary parts of a deeply personal relationship between two different people.

When someone asserts how they feel, which may be blunt, and can potentially hurt your feelings, try not to take it personally. Everyone is entitled to feel how they feel, and you should feel blessed that they feel safe enough to let you get access to these deepest parts of them which are probably hidden from others in their life.

Yelling does not indicate emotional abuse, although a hysterical emotional outburst would probably be a tool used by the emotional abuser. In a healthy relationship, if someone temporarily loses emotional control, a healthy couple will take a break, allow the emotions to calm, then talk it out.

Raising one’s voice can be a learned method of communication for expressing one’s self. As this person grows, he or she might be able to learn new methods of communication as you grow as a couple and learn more positive forms of communication.

Unless it is a threat used to control you, it is not emotionally abusive to end a relationship. This happens and should be honored, with as much grace as your ability to muster, even though it may feel as if it is devastating.

Healthy communication is the holy grail of successful relationships.

Dimensional Crossover Warped Truth

You were there. You remember exactly how it happened. Yet, the evidence, empirical and unquestionable, tells a completely different story. Is this the Mandela Effect, dimensional crossover, warped truth, alternate timeline, or government conspiracy cover-up? Who knows?

There is no doubt that history and the truth from the past are irrevocably changing. No matter how you remembered it. Once you’re gone, the alternate timeline that you were in will be erased forever.

I know this is hard to wrap your head around, and not to worry, there are plenty of “logical explanations” which can readily be found which will convince you that nothing is wrong with you, and that people who believe things incorrectly (especially important details) often suffer from having “false memories.”

Having false memories is a perfectly normal part of human life. You can’t help but misremember things you witnessed with your own eyes and ears. But the “proof” is presented in such a way that any other possibility would be impossible. “believe us,” says the government and the psychological community, “This happens all the time.” You’re not crazy. This happens to everyone.

If you believe that, well, you’re normal.

These phenomena have been commonly referred to as the “Mandela Effect” in present-day society which explains the false memory concept with specific examples of memories that millions of people could share about particular things from the past, who could easily be proven wrong by unquestionable evidence.

For instance, if you were old enough to either witness the Kennedy assassination as originally broadcast on television or the many times the footage was played and replayed on television since then, you remember a front seat and a back seat in the car the Kennedys were riding in.

If you play archival footage today of the event, the limo now has three rows of seats.
Any proof of what you remember, how you remember that event has been erased. It is gone forever, and there is no possibility of recovering proof of how you swear you remember it.

The reason this phenomenon is referred to as the Mandela Effect is attributed millions of people remembering the death of Nelson Mandela in the late eighties, who witnessed his funeral broadcast on television, which today, never happened. No archival footage, no book written by his widow, newspapers gone. Millions were shocked when his death was announced on the 5th of December 2013.

Doing a little Google research on the Mandela Effect will yield many examples of these “false memories” which involve numerous dead people who didn’t die, tragic events from the past which have changed (besides the Kennedy footage) such as the explosion of the Challenger and more.

The reason, they tell you, is because you have a false memory of the event in question. Or do you?

Really? Millions of people remember a past event incorrectly in the same manner? Not to worry, this is just mass false memory, again easily explained by government education and psychologists everywhere. There is nothing wrong with you. You just remember it wrong.

No doubt, there is a lot more going on in this life than meets the eye.

There are multiple dimensions, alternate time lines, and certainly, the government would, could, and has stepped in to change historical records to serve their purposes. Could it be some kind of dimensional crossover warped truth timeline which shifts periodically over time?

That’s why I am a huge proponent of the truth continuum because I don’t know, and unraveling the truth behind the truth, time shifts, alternate realities, and government conspiracies would be all-consuming. Clearly to even attempt such a project would distract me from my life’s purpose.

I am sure someone will appear whose life purpose it is to unravel all the details of the dimensional crossover/warped truth conundrum. In the meantime, I’ll just attribute it all to being in the truth continuum.

I don’t have all the answers.

If you do, then feel free to share your knowledge with the rest of us by leaving a comment below.

How Do I know if I’m On the Right Track?

Along your journey through life, you will be faced with many doors leading to different experiences in different directions, once you’ve chosen a door you might ask, “How do I know if I’m on the right track?” You know where you want to go, and at the outset of trying a new direction (which is often necessary to get you from where you are to where you want to be) the earlier, you can determine where this path leads, the better.

We all end up on diversions from the path we think we should be in and this is all a part of divine synchronicity. You cannot make a mistake or take a wrong road. Each leg of your journey is for your highest and best, and while it might not feel like it at the time, even when things don’t do your way, there are sacred gifts and learnings in times of difficulty. These are readying you for what lies ahead, imbuing you with the skills and abilities you will need to successfully progress to the next level.

Therefore, you are always on the right track.

How do you know you’re getting closer to what you want?

You will see clues on the way that let you know you are on the right track and getting closer to what you want. Clues are things very similar to what you want, but not exactly your highest and best which is waiting for you further down the road.

It’s easy to jump wholeheartedly into the first glimpse of something that appears to be similar to what you want. I think we all do this, so you’re not alone.

When you want something so bad, it’s easy to fall for something that seems to be close enough, and you have the hope that you can be the missing link leading to its transformation into exactly the desire of your heart fulfilled.

Not so.

This is only a clue, a taste of things to come. This is how you know that you are on the right track and getting closer to where you want to be. You are closing in on what you want because you are seeing more and more things appear in your life which are similar to what you want.

You may enjoy being in the presence of something close to what you want but don’t get too attached to it. Enjoy it for what it is, don’t be afraid or repel it just because it’s not exactly what you want. The appreciation, enjoyment, and honoring of these tastes of what you want attracts your heart’s desire even more.

You want to be inviting these things which are close to what you want and get into the feeling of enjoying and anticipating the fullness of that which you seek. This puts you in the vibration which matches what you want. Once your vibrational frequency matches your heart’s desire, you cannot help but be in the presence of it.

Not loving these glimpses and savoring the tastes of these clues will slow down the process of vectoring in the fullness of your desires.

Find ways to be open and inviting, not protective or repulsive. This will move you closer to what you want in less time.

This is true for anything you want, whether it be a job or career. more finances, better health and wellbeing, a change in venue, a new car, a nicer home, or more loving and meaningful reltionships. Embrace the tidbits representing the clues that you are getting closer to whatever it is.

The next time you ask, “How do I know if I’m on the right track?” just look around. Be aware that increasingly, more will be appearing which is close to what you want, but not exactly what you want. Acknowledge these are indicators, signs indicating that you are on the right track, and what you want in all its fullness is coming. These are just tasty samples of what’s coming.

Fully invite, appreciate, be grateful for, and savor the hors d’oeuvres while waiting for your main course to arrive.

What you want is coming to you. Love what is, and keep moving.

You Are the Result of What Works for You

Life is a series of learnings from trial and error. You are the result of what works for you. It starts from birth. If, as a baby, you cried and got what you wanted, you learned that’s what works for you. If you cried and that did not work for you, maybe you discovered that being unusually quiet worked better for you.

On and on it goes, as you discover how to get what you want. Left to itself, this trial and error system of discovery molds you into the person that you are as you enter adulthood. Without some sort of intervention or personal exploration, you will be forever hardwired as this version of yourself.

So it is with each and every one of us, we are all a product of the lives we live. It is not unreasonable for you to expect others to respect this about you. It’s not much of a stretch from the idea that who you are is the result of a lifetime of learning how to get what you want, to respecting others as being the result of how they have learned what works for them.

If you can keep this in mind as you encounter individuals with their different personality traits, you can become more tolerant of everyone’s right to approach situations, circumstances, and relationships with others in way that can be highly varied to the way you might respond or operate.

This is the primary aspect of tolerance, accepting people for who they are, honoring each individual’s journey they have traveled, allowing them to be who they are, without judgment or expectation that they be like you. For no one can be like you. Let’s face it, you’re one of a kind. Beyond that, not only is each of us unique one from the other, we are also extremely connected, and ultimately one, individual yet all comprising the sum of all the parts.

Not unlike the human body.

Our bodies are all comprised of billions of individual components. The body is a whole, yet is the sum of many individual cells all working for the common good, to serve the body. Each cell is individual and replicates itself throughout the system.

Every once and a while, a cell gets out of control and exerts its right to dominate the other cells in the body and will thrive at the expense of all the other cells, throwing the cellular synchronization of the body out of balance as it fights for dominance. This is cancer.

Just as in the body, our society is full of individuals who seek to dominate others at any expense, without regard for others’ right to life. This is social cancer.

Unbeknownst to us, your trial and error life’s learning process may have turned you into a cancerous cell in society. If you, or someone you know, has been hardwired to be societal cancer, there is still hope.

All cancers need not be all-consuming or fatal forever.

Eradicating social cancer is an option, but we cannot just kill off all the cancerous individuals in our world. We can, however, love and support them, which could be hugely beneficial (chances are, they have little capacity for love because it was not a part of their lifetime of learning).

Love is the most powerful healing energy in the world and there is no doubt it has the ability to reverse the effects of any cancer, even to transform a malignant cancerous cell into a healthy cell, or at the very least, a benign cancer cell. But, the societal cancer cell must be willing to participate because each of us has free will, which once initiated can block any positive potential to change.

There are other societal mechanisms in place which may intervene in the hopes of reprogramming social cancers of particular types. While they are temporarily effective at relieving the negative pressure imposed by someone who is out of control, there is a very high rate of recidivism which means that following intervention, it is very likely that they will return to their cancerous lifestyle.

Though there are many kinds of interventions. In my experience, a hugely impactful religious experience can have a significant transformative effect on an otherwise cancerous individual turning them into a healthy reproductive cell benefiting the community and the whole of humanity.

This love-powered spiritual transformation has the lowest degree of recidivism known to man, statistically at present. Regardless of how you feel about structured religion, it’s effects on the metamorphosis of otherwise negatively-charged human beings is undeniable.

You may, as an individual expansion explorer, be able to have an equally impactful influence on such an individual but you must have their permission and blessing to do so, or else they would not be receptive to any efforts you may exert on their behalf in the long term.

Another transformative scenario includes the awakening of an individual who could be (or potentially be) a cancerous individual. On their own accord, without the influence of others, this person seeks out their own transformation, growth, and expansion, based on their own personal exploration.

The statistics are not in, yet, on this new area of awakening, self-growth, and expansion, but the anecdotal evidence is impressive, and it is an active process of human evolution.

So, if you’re feeling like you are the result of what works for you, you are. But your story does not end there. In fact, this is where the most exciting part of your evolutionary story begins.

Am I Gonna Be Stuck This Way?

I don’t know if you can remember the time (I know I can) when you were so stoned that paralysis set in, your mind was going whacko, you were in a state of panic and dared to ask, “Am I gonna be stuck this way?” I mean the very thought that you might have exercised your worst decision-making skills to suffer the effects which may never be reversible.

To add to the fear, we have all heard stories, seen it in the news, or in the media. Someone did just that; made a one-time decision which changed their life in a tragic way or may have even lost their own life when clearly suicide was not their intention. This is beyond frightening when you find yourself thinking that you might have spoken your last words, be potentially having your last thoughts, or breathing your last breath.

No one would blame you or even question your crying out with your mind (because you may not be able to speak), “Dear God, if you ever let me get out of this thing alive, I promise never to do this again.” And you might throw in some other promises to sweeten the deal so that the Creator of the universe would stop whatever it was that was going on just to tend miraculously to you.

Though some of us came out of such an incident physically scarred for life for the whole world to see what the consequences of one bad decision might be, if we survived, we were virtually the same. We looked, talked, acted, and walked just the same. People who saw us months following the event could never have thought that we’d been through such an experience.

Time goes on… and we forget the incident because we have no constant reminder every time, we look in the mirror. And those promises we made? Well, we’ve forgotten them, too.

Then there are those, people like you, who would do anything to avoid finding themselves in that situation ever again. In some way, you have changed, become a better person. The axiom rings true, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.

While you may not find yourself, in a sense, “one toke over the line,” you do have these metaphorical moments when you make decisions that do not turn out as you had planned. How you respond in the moment of recognition (which could be severely delayed) that you made a mistake, and how you respond to your decision and the results from it, it up to you.

You may have no control over the results of your decision and any action or inaction that took place in the process, but what you do about it is totally another decision to be made. Again, your action or inaction will have a huge impact on the results.

Every decision you make is like a wheel in the middle of a track. If you spin it to the right, it takes off to the right depending how much force you exert on the wheel. The same to the left. To the right is in the direction of positivity and to the left negative. The more energy exerted greatly influences how far the effects of your decision will travel in that direction. This energy includes all energy exerted, both seen and unseen.

Energy comes in many forms and may include unspoken desires of your heart, or hidden fears and trauma from the past, and any other form of energy, including thoughts both conscious and unconscious.

If you can take a moment to consciously consider first what direction your decision will cause your decision wheel will travel, in that moment of pause and reflection you can ask yourself,

How can I apply love to this decision?

Love is the most powerful force in the universe, and you can call love into action at any moment. If your decisions are made in love, your decision wheel will move powerfully in the direction of positivity. While the consequences may include what appears to be negative, later you will discover that even the seemingly negative effects of your decision made in love will be for your highest and best interests.

Nevertheless, if you make a negative decision, chances are, you will get another chance, and you don’t have to worry enough to ask, “Am I gonna be stuck this way?” for tomorrow is another day and with the day comes new opportunities to make new decisions. You aren not going to be stuck this way.

Love is the key to making powerful, life-changing decisions, with miraculous results. Anything else leads to negative vibrations which move the results in the opposite direction than that which you think.

Think to yourself,

I love you. I love me. Let’s see how positive the results of this can be.

Apply love and see what happens.

Alienation by Intimidation

One of the dangers of being a part of the evolving human race is that you isolate yourself from others while actively involved in your personal expansion. You want to avoid alienation by intimidation. Back in the day, we used phrases, like, “Don’t become so spiritually-minded that you’re no earthly good.”

Or encouraging particular believers to put forth one’s best efforts to be “in the world but not of the world.” Which basically means, you play along with those who don’t get it. The old (barbarian) approach to winning others over to your particular thought process at any cost is falling by the wayside. Plus, no one was ever saved via debate. It’s a perfect waste of otherwise positive energy, which turns negative far too much of the time.

As you’re evolving, you are growing and changing. You’re seeing things that people who are not part of the evolutionary process are unable to conceive of or see.

You are cautioned not to let your flag fly in such a way as to be insensitive, appear to be arrogant, unintentionally appear to be narcissistic, or insinuate that you are better than anyone else.

Let’s face it, you are a more powerful being in the world than ever before, yet you want to remain humble, else you face potential alienation by intimidation.

Honoring others and being tolerant of their right(s) and ability to do the best they can with what they have at any point in time, much the way that you might desire them to respect you for where you are in your life’s journey.

What you can do, is to be aware of key areas of your personality which might intimidate others, characteristics which may be pushing people away. This may not be your intention.

For instance, the “Woe is me,” attitude which is shared by the unevolved is fading from your consciousness. When you are faced with a problem, you have the skills to asses the problem and apply solutions that you may not have been inclined to do before out of fear. Also, any potential fear of failure is dissipating as you are building your confidence and competence.

People in your circle of influence cannot help but notice this change in you, and it’s intimidating to them because they have not come to this place. So, when you’re in a position to demonstrate your new skillset(s) take others into consideration.

Don’t assert that you are better than anyone else or put others down for not being able to stop whining and just get things done. Rather, consider giving them an opportunity to lend a hand in the situation. If you’ve come up with a great idea to solve a problem, why not say to your neighboring worrier, “Let’s work on this together,” instead of just doing it all yourself without saying a word?

“But then I won’t get all the credit,” says that old egoic voice from the past. As you become more a part of the new human evolution it becomes so much less about you and so much more about things getting done, edifying others, and empowering them to shine.

Other characteristics which will be showing up that may lead to alienation by intimidation include being more honest and open without being intimidated by the concerns of others. This can appear to be disrespectful and rude.

Just take a few seconds and consider how your words might be affecting your audience. You can speak your truth without being frank or rude, just temper your words with kindness. Then people will be more likely to listen to what you have to say, rather than just cut you off for being insensitive.

You are experiencing a new passion for about everything in life, the things you enjoy are more fun, your relationships are more meaningful, your perspective on life is more positive, you feel better about yourself and your place in the world. Your senses are heightened as everything to see, taste, smell, hear, and touch is more intense than before.

When you are engaged in activities which you are passionate about this may frighten onlookers. Again, try to tone it down a bit. You can let people watch you do your thing without having to share too much about what you are doing. Let those who are taking interest in your activities watch (or peek) and let those who are curious ask questions. Try to answer without going into too much detail, because that can be intimidating. Just answer their questions briefly and move on, unless they ask more questions. (smiley face)

Speaking of curiosity, now that you’re expanding, you are more curious than ever. You will find yourself talking to people and questioning them about everything because you want access to the raw data to make comparisons about who you are and what that means to the world around you.

Most people build walls around themselves and are afraid of exposing who they really are to anyone else because they’ve been hurt in the past. Of course, you can relate to that, but it’s easy to forget once you’ve moved beyond having to live in fear any longer. Now, you can be more open and honest about yourself, essentially with nothing to hide, and sometimes you just expect everyone to be on the same page as you are.

You are a visionary and it’s easy to see in your mind’s eye what you want, and you have the ability to create a map to get from where you are to where you want to be. Things are coming to you more effortlessly. You are content, happier, and moving into abundance, enabling you to live a better life.

This freaks out your neighbors as they see you becoming more prosperous. The “have nots” tend to become haters of the “haves.” Do continue to prosper, just try to retain some humility about, so as not to threaten others who have not come to realize that they, too, could be enjoying life as much as you in their own evolutionary process.

Your mind is completely wide open because you are no longer in fear of having your beliefs challenged. The thought or idea that “everything is true” or exists within the truth continuum is a scary proposition for those who live in lives of fear. Continue to be open to all the endless possibilities but keep in mind and honor the limited perspective of others as you do so.

Remember that no one is wrong, and support everyone’s right to their own point of view regardless of how limited or expansive it might be.

Your relationships have evolved along with you and this can cause people to freak out, especially those who are (or were) close to you. You’ve probably moved some people outside your inner circle for a variety of reasons.

You are no longer content to waste the hours away, laughing, joking, talking behind others’ backs, or waiting for a group mindset in meeting after meeting to come to single-mindedness (which could take forever or never happen at all) before moving ahead. You gravitate more toward people who are more decisive and proactive, the movers and shakers.

Relationships which have little value, waste time and tend to keep you from achieving your highest and best have little interest for you anymore, and you are finding yourself annoyed by people who talk, talk, talk, but never do anything, and less tolerant of those who have little or no integrity or are deceitful.

You no longer fear opening yourself up intimately with others. You no longer live in a world of fear because your life is increasingly becoming dominated by true love, unconditional love, and this includes allowing everyone to be who they are, without judgment or fear. Letting people be who they are, loving and blessing them as they find their own way.

You can continue to evolve without having a negative impact on the surrounding community, reducing potential alienation by intimidation by honoring those around you as you do so while being mindful of where they are on their life’s journey.

For, after all, we’re doing the best we can with what we have. Right?

Overwhelmed When Memories Come Rushing Back

Life is overwhelming and who of us does not have serious PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) from negative experiences we’ve suffered throughout life? And you are overwhelmed when memories come rucking back potentially crippling your otherwise normal day to day life.

You’re doing the best you can, going about your business of just getting by and trying to responsible and “normal,” when all of a sudden you are triggered and, BAM! Your world is suddenly rocked, and you find yourself emotionally disempowered as you’re transported through space and time to the moment when the crisis or trauma occurred.

PTSD is a spectrum which includes everything from watching your best friend get blown to pieces in Afghanistan to being punished for something you didn’t do as an innocent two-year-old and potentially anything in between.

You do your best to push those events out of your mind, bury them down somewhere in the dark recesses of your soul, and no matter how diligent you are, you can be instantly triggered without warning, and there you are again. You may have all the emotional overwhelm, either accompanied by an outburst or not, and not even be cognizant of the original source of the trauma.

You may even wonder if your sanity, or ability to cope, is at risk of being lost forever.
Not to worry, you’re not losing your mind or going crazy. Unfortunately, you’re starting to realize that you’re not that much unlike the rest of us. We’re all doing the best to get through life the best we can without making too much of a scene, and periodically, we all stumble and fall, for none of us is perfect, no matter how hard we try to project the image of perfection to those who are watching us.

Those people that you think have it all together? Believe me, they, too, are just doing the best they can. It’s just that some of us are better at it than others. And the ones who appear to be better at it, have ways to deal with being utterly overwhelmed when memories come rucking back in their life.

If you knew a little more about them, you might find out that these people who seem to have it so together are practicing methods of self-care which enable them to deal with these issues a little better when they come up, such as seeing a coach, counselor, or consultant who specializes in disseminating the skills to deal with such past trauma.

It takes a certain skill set to deal with traumatizing events from the past including effectively processing grief from the death of a loved one, the loss of a deep romantic love, a friend, companion, pet, or even a job that was an important part of your life.

These negative life events leave wounds and scars which can haunt you throughout life, if not dealt with in a positive manner.

There is no doubt that certain things happen in life that causes you to be triggered as the flood of emotions suck you into a whirlpool of helplessness and despair. So be attentive. Become the detective charged with identifying all your triggers, so that next time, you can be better prepared and have a diffusing action plan in place for the next time you’re in a situation when you start to see events line up which could potentially move you into such a state (of being triggered).

These coping skills can help you take control of your life in a safe, sane, positive, and productive manner.

Triggers instantly transport you back in time throwing you into a state of fight or flight in an order to preserve and sustain your life, even though your life may not really be at risk in the present moment. You may tend to isolate yourself from others, retreat and stop communicating, strike out in irrational rage, or turn and run. As you may have noticed, nothing good comes from running away from anything that does not impose a violent threat to your very existence either.

Therapy, getting your frustrations up and out, discovering the root causes of your angst, and dealing with them, is the best way we know of to put you back in the driver’s seat of your life, besides an instantaneous healing miracle (which has been known to happen). By eliminating all those pent up fears, frustrations, and anger which has accumulated, creating emotional wounds and scars, there is hope of a bright future for you, filled with peace, fulfillment, happiness, and joy.

Many alternative healing modalities exist and are available to you, if you only look for them, and are open to the other possibilities beyond the limited resources which available to you via traditional psychology or psychotherapy. Feel free to examine what ancient or non-traditional therapeutic models may be available and continue to use those which resonate and are effective for you and your circumstance.

If you are not spiritually-inclined, don’t be afraid to seek out more spiritually-sensitive treatment models when you feel like you are becoming overwhelmed when memories come rucking back. You might be surprised at how many spiritual methods require no religious preference or belief at all. While religion may profess a set of prerequisites to comply with prior to treatment, God does not.