love and relationships | David M Masters

You Know I Love You No Matter What You Do

The words we all need to memorize and speak to everyone as often as possible are, “You know I love you no matter what you do.” These words can change people and the planet we all inhabit.

How often do you look around and see what’s wrong with the world, what someone else is doing wrong, noticing things that just aren’t right, and you get frustrated?

You get acclimated to seeing things that are wrong at a very early age, when you were enjoying life, playing, having a good time… then all of a sudden, your parent bursts into your playtime and asks, “Did you do that?”

You could tell your parent was not happy about whatever it is. You didn’t do anything wrong, but your play did result in the thing your parent is questioning you about, so you nod your head and say, “Yes.”

Your honesty was rewarded by a scolding and you are promptly sent to your room. Your feelings are hurt because you didn’t do anything wrong, and you sense the injustice of someone you loved, depended on, cared deeply about, and trust is broken.

At the earliest of ages, you have become keenly aware that the world is a cruel place, full of people who may not be what you think they are, betrayal, and injustice, and you learn to lie, rather than to tell the truth, because you don’t deserve to be mistreated, like that.

Welcome to the world as we know it.

What if, instead, your parent said, “You know, I love you no matter what you do,” then asked you if you were responsible for whatever it was, and did not punish you for being honest?

What if, instead, your parent hugged you said, “That’s okay. I know you didn’t mean to do that. You were just going on about your life and having a good time. You didn’t even notice that thing. You are perfect, just the way you are. That thing can be fixed or replaced. You can’t. You’re precious.

“You know I love you no matter what you do.”

Instantly, your whole world changes.

The world at large changes, too, as you are offered this bit of love and kindness, instead of criticism or judgment, as the predominance of fear is replaced by the power of love, the whole planet is benefited from even the smallest act of it in the life of only one child.

What if that was the approach offered to many children? The impact would be exponential.

And it doesn’t stop there.

What if you were to apply this same concept to your partner? How do you think that might affect your relationship? “I love you no matter what you say, no matter what you do.”

What if you started treating your loved ones, friends and family the same way?

Try it at work…

You could go as far as applying this simple concept to every incongruent situation, circumstance, confrontation, situation, news flash, or negative thought with,

“You know I love you no matter what you do.”

Not followed by a, “but.” Just accepting that things are the way they are. The damage is done. You can’t go back in time and change it. You will have to fix or replace it, anyway.

You could go about the fixing of a thing, or scenario, and think of it as an upgrade, making it better than it was before, and celebrate the newness of it.

Or you could criticize and judge, just like you learned to, you were trained to do, and suffer the consequences of living in discomfort and keeping those around you in fear of not meeting your expectations.

For me and my house,

You know, I love you no matter what you do.

See you at the Soulmate Wizardry event.

Getting Together in Love with Technology

When a couple decides to move forward and get together in love the relationship takes on a different look and feel. The relationship moves from dating to exclusive, from frivolous to more committed, from curious to loving, as the couple begins to get to know each other better.

In the digital age, contact can be more constant throughout the day which can increase the bonding between the couple, it also causes insecurities to arise because you cannot know what’s going on inside someone else’s head, and what goes on inside your own head can cause one to question the validity of your love. What about your partners?

Then there are your experiences… How will these affect your outlook on the possibilities for the success of this relationship? At every turn, you find yourself asking the internet for information and advice via Alexa, Siri, Echo, Cortana, or Google Assistant.

You want this to be a good experience, and you don’t want this to turn out like your previous relationships, the failed marriages, any dysfunctional relationships of your neighbors and friends, and you would do almost anything not to have the kind of relationship your parents had.

You are going to take the extra time to make sure that this is the right person for you before you move into marriage. You do not want to be another divorce statistic, so the coupling process is longer in the digital age and will likely include a trial run to test the waters prior to making a more solid commitment.

What starts out as sleepovers, turns into spending more time at each other’s abodes, and may lead to one of you abandoning yours, as frightening as that might sound, as you move in together.

Living Together

In the digital age, most relationships test the relationship by getting to know each other better by cohabitating. You get to know each other better when you’re seeing your partner’s lifestyle around the clock.

What is he or she like when the evening tarries on and his or her energy systems begin to slow down? When he or she wakes, is enthusiasm abundant, is he or she bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, or is he or she barely alive and quietly nursing a cup of coffee for 57 minutes before uttering a word?

Since opposites attract, taking the time to see how someone lives, can help you wrap your head around the idea whether the sacrifices you might have to make to accommodate this person will be worth it, and while people can change, you know hoping for change, to accommodate your preferences may not be likely. Can you live with that?

Conflict

Whether you’re living together, or not, it is in this coupling phase that you will get to know each other better. You will start to see each other at your best, as well as your worst, and you will have your first disagreement.

Depending on how much the flow of love’s hormones are in play will dictate the severity of this first challenge of real life, but there’s a good chance that you will make it through with the ability to arrive at an acceptable compromise or agreeing to disagree.

Be aware that conflict is part of the game, and without it, there can be no growth, not individually nor as a couple.

So, get used to the idea that there are going to be times when things get a little dicey, and look at these difficult times as opportunities to learn and grow together in love.

See you at the Soulmate Wizardry event.

Disingenuous Lovers

Disingenuous lovers include those who are insensitive, having little ability to possess or share the heartfelt love that you might have, and will also include partners who approach love from completely different perspectives, these are the survivors, manipulators, and predators, among others.

With all the attempts to try to find a suitable partner who can love you in the very same way that you can love him or her, still there can exist an incompatibility in the type and style of love and loving which you share. Sometimes you discover yourself unequally yoked with a disingenuous or fake love.

Probably the most difficult part of finding a vibrationally matched lover, one that approaches the idea of love in a way that is harmonious with you, is so elusive, sometimes we just give-in, compromise, and accept what is more attainable, then work out the details later in the relationship.

The earlier in your relationship that you are able to identify the energetic love vibration which is incompatible with you, the better. Regardless of when the identification becomes aware to you, and you or your partner take the action(s) necessary to lead to the relationship’s cessation, the process of disengagement and disconnection can be quite painful for either or both parties in the relationship which has become unmanageable.

Insensitive People

Those people who are less sensitive than the rest of us, may have limited capacity for love and the feelings which are associated with love and romantic relationships. While they are able to connect to another person, their ability to connect is somewhat limited, therefore they are not easily hurt when the relationship begins to uncouple or fall apart.

Insensitive people are not bad people, even though they can easily be demonized when the relationship begins to deteriorate, and they are not as moved emotionally as the other partner might be. It’s easy to assume they don’t care, are mean, or evil, even though their motives may be absent of malice. Lacking in capacity does not make them bad people, it’s just the way they are.

This type of coupling, the sensitive with the insensitive, is not uncommon as in the courting process, these opposites are generally attracted to each other. Insensitive people can change and become more sensitive over time, but the sensitive partner cannot change them (so give up on any expectation that you might be able make him or her more sensitive, this is a solo part of the journey for the insensitive).

Survivors

Survivors are those who will do or say anything in order to survive. This was a far more popular motivator in the acquisition of love and finding a suitable mate in our not too distant past. In a time when it was difficult for a single person of low or normal means there existed a great deal of importance focused on finding someone to cohabitate with or marry to prevent homelessness or being shunned by society.

Even though in modern times we embrace the idea of being able to survive (and sometimes thrive) as adult singles, there are still those who seek out a mate to enhance their ability to enjoy the basic necessities of life.

Manipulators

Manipulators take the idea of surviving to the next level. They desire not only to survive but to benefit greatly from their matchmaking efforts. They find suitable mates based on what they can bring to the relationship which is highly sought after by the manipulative love-seeker, who may also lean toward narcissism.

They have an uncanny ability to pour on the charm to persuade the object of their affection that he or she is indeed, “the one.” The answer to all your hopes and dreams in terms of love, and we all, regardless of our station in life, desire and long to be loved, therefore may fall victim to this type of manipulation in the courting process.

Predators

Predators are those who maliciously exploit the unsuspecting tender hearts to their benefit, using romance and the promise of love to defraud or abuse their love-prey for their own satisfaction. These are most likely the predatory sociopaths and psychopaths who are just out to exploit love-seekers for whatever they can get.

With the least ability to have compassion or feelings, they are especially gifted in their skills as users and abusers. They will only leave when your supply has been exhausted and you are no further use for them, or you have identified them, insulated and separated yourself from them.

Let ’em Go

Even though it can be painful and difficult to let the disingenuous lover go, let him or her go.

If your love is not recipricated and/or not a match for you, let him go. You are not obligated to stay in a relationship without love. Set yourself free and open for love.

Not to do so, is self-abuse and you have no one to blame but yourself.

Stay Open

Not to cast a dark could on your love seeking, because there are authentic genuine lovers who are perusing the landscape of people in search of you and your unique ability to love and be loved.

Stay open and aware that there are more people whom you are incompatible with than those with whom you are compatible with to varying degree in terms of your unique love vibration.

Don’t be in a hurry or try to rush things, as he or she may not be perfectly aligned with you at the moment. Your soul mate may be looking for you while in the process of working on his or her alignment, just as you are, in this moment.

When you are both a vibrational match, you will find yourselves looking into each other’s eyes.

See you at the Soulmate Wizardry event.

I Don’t Want to Fake Love Anymore

Every once and a while I meet with someone who says something like, “I’m just not feeling it anymore.” They’re with someone who they once felt like they were in love with but nowadays, they feel like they’re just going through the motions and faking it. They’re uncomfortable and say, “I don’t want to fake love anymore.”

When you feel like saying,

I don’t want to fake love anymore

What can you do?

First off, you must know that love is a modulating frequency which goes up and down, in a constant state of flux. Just like the tide, love has ebb and flow. Sometimes it goes out and the beach is dry, other times love comes rushing in, like a flood.

It’s common to reach a dry spell in your relationship, when you’re feeling like you’re engaged in a false love relationship. Sometimes it feels like you’re faking your love for your partner, sometimes you’re wondering if your partner is faking his or her affections toward you.

One thing you can do is to ask yourself, “What does love mean to me?”

You’re entitled to have and hold your own definition of love. If you choose to believe that love is only that exuberant feeling of passionate desire, then that is your choice, and you will probably have a long line of successive relationships to capture and try to sustain that kind of love.

On the other hand, if you’re definition of love leans more toward longer-term relationships, you will recognize and honor love’s ebb and flow.

Let’s say you’re at your peak, you’re an Adonis or Aphrodite (which we all are, of course) and your partner has become slightly less desirable to you, no problem, there’s always someone waiting in the wings for their turn with you. Even so, you might consider the, “What if?”

What if something happened to you? What if you were in an accident, suffered disfiguring wounds (emotional or physical), lost your good looks, health, or fell ill? What then?

Would you want to be with someone who would stand by you no matter what because they love you, even if you’re not on your best game, even when times get rough? Or would you rather your partner seek out someone whom he or she felt was more desirable in that moment?

A wise lover gives the love he or she desires.

Can you prevent yourself from falsely loving someone else?

If you really want to love the person you’re with, then you just have to do it. Love your partner even when you’re not feeling it. Love is an energetic continuum of unlimited supply.

When you’re not feeling the love, fake it.

I know, you’re thinking I didn’t understand the question, but I did.

When you’re not feeling the love, engage in the activities, yes, go through the motions, acting as if you feel the love just as much as you did before. You can call it false love, or faking it, play-acting, or put any label on it you want, but something magical happens when you love someone in this manner…

Your efforts are rewarded with the feelings of love from the endless supply of love which permeates all things. Before you know it, as you act out your love in the absence of the feelings, the feelings begin to return.

If you keep doing those things that you did when you felt deeply in love, the feelings return and then some, opening the doors to new possibilities as you pass through thresholds leading to even greater love.

Or, you could just go find someone else and see where that leads you.

If you don’t want to fake love anymore, just go through the motions (not because you hate having to do it, but) because you love your partner, and the feelings will come back, and even more.

See you at the Soulmate Wizardry event.

Loving How to Communicate in Love

Heartfelt communication can make the difference between sweet love and love crisis in love and romance. How you share those most important issues any normal couple faces amidst your love life makes all the difference in love and loving. How to communicate in love with compassion is the doorway leading to the next level in your love’s exponential potential.

Dr. Harville Hendrix and Dr. Helen LaKelly Hunt created a loving technique which helps you understand how to communicate in love and relationships called the Imalgo Dialogue or “safe conversation.” This is a process of moving through communicative exchange between two people which engenders loving how to communicate in love.

Here is a basic structure you can follow to experience what it is like to engage in the loving communication model.

Let’s say your partner has something important to say to you. If you want to use this safe conversation model to have a deeper level of connection and communication with your partner, oversimplified, it would go something, like this:

1. Tell me about it.

Allow your partner to tell his or her story.

2. That’s interesting. What else?

Now, you’re inviting your partner to delve deeper into their story.

3. How does that make you feel?

This is safely inviting your partner to share how they feel, which is often overlooked in conversation, unless it is exposed when negative communication styles erupt emotionally.

4. Is there more?

Let’s face it, we’re all a little protective about how we feel. This is a safely guarded spot in our heart, where we hide our feelings. Being invited by your partner to express any underlying, deeper emotion, is not only increasing your connection, it also enables you to examine and rationalize what might be underneath why you are feeling the way you’re feeling.

5. Let me see if I’ve got that.

This is when you restate your partner’s story, and how they feel about the issue at hand in your own words, trying to see it from his or her point of view, including how he or she feels about it.

6. Is that right?

This invites your partner to make any corrections to your attempt to understand his or her point of view. Let hi or her correct you, then repeat go back to step 5. Repeat as necessary, until your partner indicates that you have a good understanding of his or her perspective and feelings regarding the topic at hand.

7. Is there more?

This introduces a loop back to step 4 which might appear to be redundant but actually, your partner has often uncovered more about the topic of this discussion, discovered new information, and found links to other emotional issues from the past. There may be new information to share.

When all is said and done, you can lovingly let your partner know,

“I see how that make sense. And understanding that, I see that it could make you feel…” fully supporting him or her without interrupting, challenging, or judgment. This is compassion in action.

You can find out more about the Imalgo Dialogue in Getting the Love You Want, A Guide for Couples by Dr. Harville Hendrix and Dr. Helen LaKelly Hunt.

See you at the Soulmate Wizardry event.

Moving From Dating to Relationship

As you move into relationship territory as a couple, you’re not really looking around for a mate anymore because you’re feeling as though this person is, “the one.”

You’ve had talks (at least, you should have because men who have not said they are in a monogamous relationship probably aren’t) about being in a “mutually exclusive” relationship. If one of you is not claiming to be in a relationship, then you are not; you are only dating or, “seeing each other.”

When you move from falling in love to coupling, you’re more likely to go out less and enthusiastically enjoy the simplicity of basking in each other’s presence.

Your couple vernacular includes cute nicknames, and the term, “love you,” is part of your occasional, if not regular, dialogue.

If he or she has an ex-, he or she (the ex) has been alerted that there’s a new SO (significant other) in town.

Public Display of Affection (PDA) is showing up as you’re holding hands in public, sitting “close” together, unashamedly embracing or touching each other and/or locked eye-gazing.

When you’re going to attend an event, you’re likely to assume your new love interest will accompany you. When you’re making plans to go places and do things, this specific object of your affection is the person you would most like to share these experiences with.

You’ve introduced him or her to your friends and family, and it looks like you’re both ready to change your relationship status on your respective social media accounts.

You’re talking more and more about how good it is to be together, even making plans for your future together.

And if you’re not having sex, you’ve been at least talking about it, for as Dr. Pete Eaton PhD, author of Sex Wise: Understanding Why Your Wife or Husband Lost Interest in Sex and How to Deal with It, says, “If you are not sexually compatible, you are headed for a train wreck.” According to Eaton, you either have a hunger for sex (measurable on a scale of 1 to 100), or you’re performing sexual acts as, “a favor,” as a means of prolonging the relationship. A mismatch at this juncture could have negative ramifications in regard to the relationship’s longevity.

More and more you are learning to trust your partner, so you’re more likely to ask your partner for assistance, or share intimate details of your life and a variety of personal stories, they type which you might only share with your best friend.

You’re becoming less afraid of showing your negative side as you’re feeling comfortable enough to let your guard down and let some of your idiosyncrasies show through and your partner, who feels similarly, will see these as the silly or cute mannerisms which make you even more special to him or her.

7 Phases of Love

Romantic relationships can the most exhilarating experiences of your life, they can also be very dramatic. If you can make it through the 7 phases of love, you can have the breakthrough bliss of the expanded and evolved couple and share your love with the world.

Phase 1: Falling in Love

The first phase is what gets us into relationships in the first place. It’s that exciting time when this person makes your heart soar and you’re higher than a kite (actually you are because you’re overdosing on love hormones, like dopamine and oxytocin.

In your honeymoon daze, you see all your wants, needs, and desires fulfilled by this person, and you project your dreams upon your love interest, therefore he or she appears to be your dream come true.

Phase 2: Coupling

Following some time of falling in love with someone, the two of you agree that you are somehow meant to be with each other and you go about the business of building a relationship together.

In the coupling phase, you’re getting to know each other better and beginning to see what life would be like as a couple. You begin building real appreciation and a sense of secure bonding is taking place as your relationship moves beyond surface issues and begins to deepen.

Phase 3: Sober Up

One day you wake up and ask yourself, “Who is this?” man or woman whom I’ve aligned myself with? The love hormones are wearing thin, and you’re starting to see him or her as he or she really is, and you think this isn’t the person you fell in love with.

You’ve been together long enough to feel comfortable enough to speak your piece about how your partner is not what you thought he or she was, and your partner returns in kind, as the green grass on the other side of the fence seems so very attractive.

Phase three is the place where most relationships break down, as either one or both parties feel like living life, like this, would be unbearable, though some push-through to the next phase.

Phase 4: Deepening

In phase four, one or both parties feel as though the relationship is worth pursuing, instead of posturing for control or splitting up, they seek to find healthier, more mature ways to look at life shared by two individuals, working thorough problems and disagreements while finding effective solutions without compromising their connection.

This is the make it or break it phase as the partners are more transparent and open with each other, moving forward with increased vulnerability, so things can get a bit messy, but by supporting each other with openness and honesty, sharing and caring, real growth and maturity of each individual can be immense, and the surviving couple thrives as they grow and change both as individuals and as a unified force.

Phase 5: Genuine Bonding

This is when the age-old charge, “the two shall become one,” feels like real romantic love fulfilled. When you’ve reached phase five, your phase one expectations seem silly in comparison, because now you see your unique combination as an expanded entity, an extension of both you and your partner’s lives, with endless opportunities.

If you’ve been resistant to the idea of marriage before, once you’ve reached phase five, you start entertaining the thought of getting married, embracing the idea that you could, and would prefer to, live the rest of your life in a relationship, like this.

Phase 6: Comfort

Phase six is where it gets tricky because you’re comfortable. You’ve made it through phases one through five and living your life with this other person is good, pleasant, and good enough, but left on idle for awhile this comfort can lead to complacency.

Some time has passed and it looks as though you’ve fallen into an endless recurring routine and the relationship has lost its sheen. This is yet another phase where one of the parties might be looking for the exit sign leading to a little more excitement.

Not to worry, all advanced couples reach this stage (it is commonly referred to as the seven-year-itch, though it could come at any time) and you could also seek to rekindle the flame of true love and find yourself headed for the final phase of romantic love.

Phase 7: True and Enduring Love

You have weathered the storms of life in love together and hand-in-hand you have persevered, broken through barriers, shared epiphanies, expanded and ever-evolving as individuals and as a unified force in and for love.

You have established a meaningful relationship in perfect push/pull harmony which is a delicate balance to maintain but it is so worth it. You welcome the challenges, and when things get tough, you are more apt to lean in and trust your partner, who has been there for you as your love has withstood the test of time.

Openness, honesty, and trust are reciprocal and there is no greater sense of safety and security, and others look on with awe.

From this phase of love, the two of you combined can impact the world for the greater good, as your love inspires others, giving them hope as they aspire to build true and enduring love relationships.

The two of you are separately and “as one flesh” living your best life and making the world a better place.

See you at the Soulmate Wizardry event.

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How Do You Know You Love Someone?

Who’s your best friend? If it’s your partner, you’re in love.

How do you know you love someone?

You feel ecstatic as if you took a hit of drugs because, in essence, you have. When you’re in love the same hormones are released just as when you get high on cocaine.

Being in love boosts your immune system making your more resistant to disease and is a natural pain reliever. Less pain and faster recovery from aches and pains. That’s the healing power of love at work.

Increased eye contact indicates you’re in love. It’s as if you’re looking at your partner’s soul and connecting with it, as well as seeing your own reflection in his or her eyes.

Being in love makes you more self-confident, willing to take risks, and try new things with and for your partner, or for the growth and benefit of your relationship together.

When your partner is happy, you are just as happy for your partner. His or her happiness makes you feel happy.

True love can also introduce a degree of stress due to your desire to be the best you can be and to find ways to demonstrate expressions of your love, dependability, trustworthiness, and support, which increases cortisol levels. You’re going to feel a little more anxious and stressful about “doing the right thing” and “being there” for your partner.

When you’re in love, you’re likely to do just about anything for your partner.

You look forward to your shared time together as the best part of your day.

What’s the first thing you think about in the morning? If this happens at night, and whenever something good happens, your partner is the first person you want to tell, and when something bad happens, this is also the person you look to for help, you can thank your brain for releasing phenylethylamine because you’re in love.

If you’re in the habit of putting the needs and priorities of your partner before your own, you’re in love.

When you think about your plans for the future, you see your partner’s participation of predominant importance. You just expect him or her to be there.

Public displays of affection (PDA) are predominant. You’re not afraid to let you love be seen by others.

Your partner’s shortcomings are adorable. Their quirkiness which might seem odd when you’re getting to know someone are those special qualities that endear you, even more, when you’re in love.

Your partner inspires you to be the best version of yourself. You’re interested in personal growth and want to make a contribution in honor of how your partner makes you feel about putting your best foot forward. You want to be and do better.

True love is unconditional. That means you feel like, “I love you no matter what.” No matter what your partner does, whatever challenges you or your partner might face, you love your partner even more. Your love does not waver and is not affected by situations or circumstances.

See you at the Soulmate Wizardry event.

Love’s Prayer for You

You are the most amazing person I’ve never met. You have an incredible story of life and love that has me and others sitting on the edge of our seats, just waiting to see what’s going to happen next. If your life were a book, it would be an encompassing page-turner. If a film, we are in awe of the life you’ve lived until this moment, and we are watching, waiting, and cheering you on from the aisles, knowing that you are going to let your heroic virtues envelop you, enabling you to rise and step into the fullness of your power and purpose.

You and your story are so encouraging and enlightening. You are an inspiration to all, and we know that as you embrace all that you are, it gives us all hope that we can do the same, no matter what challenges or obstacles we might face in life. You are our hero. But,

What if you’re not feeling it?

What if you’re at one of those uncomfortable (possibly most difficult) chapters in your life? You know you’ve come to this planet with a divine purpose, message, passion, and mission. You know you are called to live a better life, your best life, and to make the world a better place, but right now, from this scene of your life, you just cannot see it. It just seems like it’s just not possible from here.

Do not fear, for love is with you; do not be dismayed, for you are love.

Know You Are Loved

You are a product of the creator of all life on this planet. Everything that is tangible in this life is held together in perfect balance by the energy of pure love. Just the fact that you are here, reading these words if proof that you are loved and that your life has tremendous value.

Feel the Loving Embrace

If you would close your eyes and see from your heart, you could see the love all around you, swirling in perfect harmony in and through all things. If you are not feeling it from within, you can just reach out and call it to you, and wrap yourself in a thick blanket of pure love energy.

You can feel its warmth and you feel safe and secure wrapped in love’s loving embrace.

No Matter What’s Happening

You can be surrounded by chaos and not feeling emotionally stable. You might be frightened, unworthy, sad, lonely, even helpless, yet you are loved. You are love. And when you’re just not feeling it, all you have to do is to close your eyes and reach out and grab it.

Buried deep within your physical heart is a love generator which emits a powerful forcefield. As long as you heart beats, you can reach out and tune in to the love all around you. You can attune your built-in love generator with the love energy which surrounds and permeates all things and recharge your love energy from the unlimited source.

You Are Love

When you turn on your love generator and connect to the vast love energy, you have the unlimited supply of flowing through your body. You become love; a powerful love machine empowered to send this love to anyone or anything which comes to mind, just by the power of your thought.

Send Love to the World

Holding a visual image of someone or something in your mind and sending love to them delivers an instantaneous surge of love to that person, place, or thing. You can do this because you are love. Try a little sending love to the world.

Love’s Prayer for You

I pray you know you are loved.

You feel the love holding you in loving embrace.

No matter what is happening in life at this moment, know you are loved.

You are love.

Share a little love with the world if only from your heart in thought.

I love you.

Amen

God bless you and yours this holiday season.

~David M Masters

Love or Crack Cocaine Addiction

When you meet someone, who stimulates your brain chemistry and sends your biology into a euphoric celebration, there is little difference in what happens inside your body between this “falling in love” and getting high on crack cocaine.

This has been well-documented overtime, ever since humans have had the ability to document the intense power of love-longing in poetry, the arts, and philosophical thought. If you have a reverence for such art, including love songs on the radio, you understand that this reverence for the longing for love can be very powerful indeed.

People who are addicted to crack cocaine seek the high state of euphoria associated with using it to set their internal brain chemistry ablaze with a rush of an overwhelming feeling of pleasure, not unlike falling in love.

It is against the law to use crack cocaine, so there it takes a willingness to engage in illegal activity to have the experience at all. A definite deterrent if you have a fear of imprisonment. Also, it is well known that using crack cocaine over time can have serious ill effects on one’s mental health, physiological health, leads to seriously bad decision-making skills, and can ultimately lead to death. The statistics are well-known, prisons, hospitals, and cemeteries are full crack addicts.

Falling in love, on the other hand, is legal, and there are far more people in prisons, hospitals, and cemeteries due to love.

If you question the similarity, try this on for size:

Dr. Helen Fisher, who has had the pleasure of studying the neurological effects of love on the brain and the body discovered the identical brain chemistry overload of dopamine and norepinephrine of subjects deeply in love as those experiencing a high from using cocaine. (Lust, Attraction, Attachment: Biology and Evolution of the Three Primary Emotion Systems for Mating, Reproduction, and Parenting).

Just the same, only different.

Effecting your motivation and decision-making skills is clearly apparent. Whether you’re addicted to crack, or deeply in love, you will do the darndest things which would not make any sense to you if you weren’t under the influence.

When you’re high (on either love or crack) you have an incredible feeling of elation, everything appears to have increased clarity and your self-confidence surges as you feel almost invincible. You’d do almost anything to sustain this feeling.

On the other hand, if the effects of the drug in question (cocaine or love) starts to diminish, the addict looks for new ways to achieve the high they originally felt when first exposed to the original source (which may have varying degrees of success, but it is well known that the height of the original high will never be reached by increasing the dose, method, or frequency).

Still, we have a tendency to look elsewhere, as our resistance builds to the original drug.

There is nothing more devastating to the addict (whether addicted to love or crack) than suddenly not having access to the supply of their high. The withdrawal symptoms of losing one’s supply, having it cut off for any reason, has been routinely associated with the effects of withdrawal from heroin. Which can send the addict into an unimaginable tailspin leading to intense pain and suffering.

See you at the Soulmate Wizardry event.