Your Shadow Self

There is a deep dark you hidden deep within yourself which is devout in the protection of your self and will stop at nothing to prevent you from living your best life because to do so would put you at risk. Your shadow self protects from exposing yourself to potential failure, pain, sadness, longsuffering and grief, and in doing so actually blocks you from experiencing true love, health, wellness, and ultimate happiness.

Hidden from you by your shadow self are all the negative life moments you have experienced, so as not to hinder you’re being able to face tomorrow. Associated with all these dark moments are litanous associated programs which run silently in your unconscious to prevent you from being at risk of future negative physical or emotional impact.

While these systems have been accumulating for years unchecked for validity, they continue to perceive threat and trigger your fight or flight sensations, even if there is no apparent threat in the current reality or real world in the moment, or possibly ever.

Debbie Ford

Which reminds me of Debbie Ford’s shadow work, for which she is renowned, and she insists that within each trauma hidden by your shadow self, there is a sacred truth which if dealt with through her shadow process will contain an enlightening treasure which will empower you to realize exponential positivity and personal power.

Profound wisdom is hidden within your shadow self and these treasures are the keys which unlock all the best things this life has to offer.

Let’s say you want something deeply which seems to elude you, like massive success or long-lasting romantic love (or anything else your heart desires). While you may desire these things with all your heart, your shadow self is there to protect you from the potential pain associated with exposure to the risks which would be necessary to achieve the results you desire.

On the surface, in a therapist’s office or as noticeable by you or your friends this might look like self-sabotage, but it is your shadow self, hard at work, preventing you from being exposed to potential pain or loss.

Debbie Ford insists that within the darkness of your shadow self, you will find the key to unlock your strength, your happiness, and your ability to live out your dreams.

In order to enjoy all the best things of life with all its possibilities, you must be vulnerable, and vulnerability is the enemy of your shadow self.

Carl Jung

Carl Jung, who introduces us to our shadows, suggested that our maximum potential could be realized by making peace and standing in the middle between, “his shadow and his light simultaneously.” In effect seeing yourself from both sides.

Yet, due to the excellent abilities of your shadow self to keep you from seeing that you, as well as the rest of us suffering from the human condition, are a mixed bag of contradictions.

For instance, it is highly likely that the things you dislike the most are actually a part of who you are, though you are unable to see it, as these details about yourself are so effectively hidden from your conscious mind by your shadow self.

Delving into the secrets hidden within your shadow self is part and parcel of the deep inner work which you may choose to encounter if you are to truly have the ability to achieve your highest and best in this life.

Love and the Past

We are all haunted by the demons which haunt us from our past. As much as we try to do our best to move forward to enjoy the best things in life, without victory over the past, the issues which we hold close to our hearts, those things which we have loved, lost, and hurt our feelings continue to haunt us.

Being a victim of the past disempowers us and gives the power we could potentially wield to those people, situations, and circumstances which overtake our attention, preventing us from enjoying to the fullest the best things this life has to offer. Left to themselves, this unresolved trauma can overtake you and ruin any possibility of having any hope of experiencing prolonged joy.

Relationships trigger these memories and the emotions connected to them, bringing them to the surface, even if we’re unaware of what’s happening. Unless you know this is what’s happening, it could have a negative impact on the relationship.

If you can look at this as a gift from God, as a way to bring our hidden emotional demons to the surface so we can deal with and exorcise them, then it will not seem so much like a curse or irrational pain on the loose.

Left unresolved, issues from your past will continue to appear affecting the lens through which you see life and all relationships. Therefore, if you have unresolved issues with a parent (could be anyone or any experience from your past) which you’ve pushed down way inside and may not even be conscious of, this will color intimate relationships as you are given the opportunity to deal with those issues which do not serve you.

Ignored opportunities will look as though you are overreacting to something that would otherwise be perceived as a minimal challenge, insignificant, or benign. Yet, here you are, all emotionally charged up, being ruled by the very thing which needs to be brought up and cleared.

We are all triggered and react in different ways when this opportunity presents itself.

This is God’s invitation for you to deal with and heal hidden or ignored trauma from the past. Without this natural mechanism of using relationships to allow unresolved issues from the past to appear, you would forever be a victim of the past.

God wants you to be free, to enjoy life, and have victory over the past.

To have victory over the past you must be brave and courageous to face the virtual demons of the past that haunt you.

It’s not enough to ignore the past and pretend that it just didn’t happen. This will only allow those issues to slowly eat away at you, robbing you of joy, promoting the deterioration of your immune system leading to disease and advanced aging, even premature mortality.

Some of the trauma from the past will have you seeing yourself vulnerable and a potential victim of abuse from those who are closest to you when no threat is actually present.

7 Phases of Love

You may also have feelings of fear, unworthiness, feeling as though you cannot be truly understood, disrespected, feeling as though you are being unjustly criticized, and the inability to trust other people. You are easily offended and are poised to defend yourself, always on the alert for some potential threat.

These are just a few of the signs that may be calling you to look within, especially if it appears to be a reaction which might be considered excessive based on the facts when viewed objectively.

When they appear, have the courage to look inside. The feelings you are experiencing may not have anything to do with your partner (though admittedly, it may feel like it at the time), it may be an unresolved issue from your past begging to be unearthed and set free.

Love brings these things to the surface, and love is the key that unlocks the trunk where all the things holding you back are contained within.

If you do not take the opportunity to deal with these issues, you are likely to project them on your partner and your potential for true love may not be recognized or available to you.

The good news is that love is never failing, and you will be presented with another opportunity to deal with these issues when the next opportunity for love arises.

Twin Flames vs Soul Mates

Let’s take look at twin flames vs. soul mates. Having been in the relationship business both privately and professionally, I do get questioned by certain folks about the differences between soul mates and twin flames. Some people believe they are the same thing, some don’t care what they are.

Soul mates and twin flames represent key players in your quest for personal growth, change, and evolution. While they are thought of to be romantic partners, they can be represented by anyone, such as friends, relatives, co-workers, authority figures, strangers, even pets and other animals can be either soul mates or twin flames. They can play their parts in your journey as transitionary or life-long in their influence and presence.

The basic difference between soul mates and twin flames is that the soul mate represents peaceful growth and the twin flame encourages awareness and growth via strife and chaos in your life.

Twin Flame

The twin flames in your life are those who are like a cosmic slap upside the head. They are attracted to you along your life’s journey to be the wake-up call alerting you that something unresolved stands between where you are and where you want to be.

As romantic partners, you are incredibly attracted to each other, and you let down your guard enabling them to reach the most intimate parts of you. Once they have full access to your treasure trove of highly guarded secrets and your most intense feelings they use these as tools to expose your weakest areas in life revealing where personal growth would resolve these issues and allow you to move forward on your journey exponentially.

The twin flame is the method by which the source of all life gets your attention by presenting you with your greatest challenges in the most sensitive areas of your life using pain as the catalyst to break your current state of consciousness, increase your awareness, and consider searching inside yourself for significant changes which can be made.

All this to permeate the defenses of the ego, which is likely your worst enemy when it comes to personal growth and expansion because the ego will always recoil, attack and blame anyone or anything that even hints at the necessity of change. The ego prefers the status quo and the maintenance of things the way they are.

More often than not, the twin flame(s) assist in preparing you for your potential soul mate relationship, for it is generally accepted that you will not be ready for him or her until you have been broken and open to this type of expansive love.

The twin flame is in direct contrast to the,

Soul Mate

The Soul Mate uses a different approach to encourage personal growth and change. Your soul mate is often regarded as your most highly trusted friend, and while they are present at the most challenging moments of your life, they are supportive, celebrate your strengths gently help you navigate, manage or grow beyond your weaknesses, and help you to find peaceful resolution amidst those most difficult times in life.

You may have many soul mates along your life’s journey. They could be found at any social station in the center, or beyond the perimeter, of your circle of influence, may have angelic attributes (many have entertained angels unaware), and might be disguised as your pet(s).

Romantically speaking, your soul mate is often sought out as your divine mate, the elusive “one” or “other” part of you. Your perfect compliment. Not perfect, as none of us is perfect and we never have it done, but perfect for you.

While difficult times may come, the soul mate works with you, not against you (as is the preference of the twin flame) to achieve a positive outcome or higher vibration, leading to greater success, happiness, and helping you to live a better life, your best life, and make the world a better place.

Be aware, while the fantasy of the soul mate represents a single entity, your life will likely be visited by many soul mates.

Since your life may be entertaining more soul mates and twin flames (the more resistant you are to accept the truth and making the necessary changes in your life, the more twin flames you will have), the painful truth is,

Twin Flames and Soul Mates Come and Go

When a twin flame exits your life, it is generally amidst a torrential and emotional storm which rips and tears at the very fabric of your being, exposing every sensitive nerve and ushering in a flood of every possible sensitivity and emotion you have in all its painful glory. And if you didn’t get the message, there is another twin flame en route to you following this one’s exit. This continues ad infinitum until you get it.

When it comes time for a soul mate to leave you, it signals a time in your life when your growth and expansion would better be served without this particular soul mate. These separations are usually the most tender and heart-wrenching departures, though there is a knowing that a greater good is being served by the distancing. This is often necessary unless the soul mate is a life-long one, be forewarned that if you hold on too tightly to a temporary soul mate, insisting that he or she be your life-long soul mate, the eventual separation may be much more tragic.

Twin Flame Transformation

In rare circumstances, a twin flame may persist in your life beyond his or her season and miraculously transform into your soul mate via the most amazing metamorphosis. And while this all seems so incredible at first blush, in reality, this person was your soul mate the whole time, only paying the part of the twin flame to get you to face your self and your inner demons to prepare you for the soul mate relationship waiting to unfold.

Where Did I Go Wrong?

When you’re traveling your road in this life it’s easy to get distracted by your missteps and get stuck in the rut of asking yourself, “Where did I go wrong?” which would otherwise be a perfectly healthy question to ask.

Just like when you’re drive tire gets stuck in the mud, if you spin your wheels trying to get out, all it does is bury your tire deeper in the rut, the same goes for ruminating and going over the details of any mistake in life, repeatedly. Keep doing that and you’ll get stuck there, unable to get out and move on in life.

Okay, so you made a mistake, were blindsided, or sucker-punched by life. You can’t just ignore the fact this happened to you. You should review the situation and circumstances that lead to the unexpected event and extract the learnings from experience. For that is the purpose of all life’s challenges. Inside each challenge is a hidden treasure, a divine piece of wisdom which is a key to your continued personal growth, wisdom, and evolution.

How to effectively review when asking yourself,

Where did I go wrong?

Just like when you get stuck in a rut, in most cases, you can rock yourself out. That is to say you can exert energy in one direction, release the pressure and relax to let momentum take you in an opposite direction, then when the momentum starts in the other direction, exert additional energy, then release and relax again.

Exerting energy in a particular direction means asking the tough questions. Were you aware enough about your surroundings? Could you have been more attentive? Are there things you could have done, attending to details, which could have resulted in a more favorable outcome? Were there precautions you could have taken?

Don’t just review this in your head, get it down on paper. Moving the energy from your heart to your brain, letting it flow down your arm, out your fingers, through the ink in your pen and onto the paper, helps to get it out.

Depending on the condition of your rut, this may be enough energy, that when released (written on paper) and relaxed, may be enough to get you over the edge and ready to face life full on again.

If not, you will have to exert even more energy, when you feel your momentum slumping back toward the negativity of the event again. If so, then this time you will have to be a little harder on yourself, to build up a little more negative momentum.

This time, you have permission to berate yourself. You can totally and disrespectfully rant on yourself, using any disrespectful thoughts or language which otherwise would be extremely inappropriate for up to three minutes (set the egg timer) maximum. Then release and relax.

Rock your experience as often as necessary without getting stuck there. Do not overthink this unnecessarily or allow yourself to fall into the paralysis of analysis.

If you are unable to rock yourself out of the rut on your own, you may need a wench, or a tow truck to drag you out.

Don’t be shy about reaching out for third-party assistance. That’s why coaches, counselors, and consultants are there, for you to call on in times of crisis, when you’re unable get out of the rut and get back on track.

Remember, when you’re asking yourself,

Where did I go wrong?

Do a bit of analysis, extract the hidden treasure (the lesson), and move on.

Whatever you do, make sure you get out of the rut. Release this experience, walk away from it, and let it go.

Take a look around you.

Look for all the people who have encountered an unexpected life event and let it get the best of them… I think we can all agree that there must be a better way.

You don’t want to let this thing cripple your potential over a long period of time. Rock yourself out, or get help to get you over this thing that’s troubling you.

There is so much waiting for you just over the horizon, a better life. Your best life awaits you, and this experience imbues you with the wherewithal to help make the world a better place.

You are amazing.

Be True to Yourself

When you’re getting an idea of who you are, not the you you’ve been programmed to accept but the you that came to this planet with a clear purpose, message, passion, and mission, you are in the process of defining your unique and individual self and you want to be true to yourself, the you that you are becoming.

You are knowing your truth (which may change periodically as you continue to grow and expand in your own personal evolution), have a desire to achieve your highest and best, want to live a better life, your best life, make the world a better place, and have a strong compulsion to be true to yourself.

“To thine own self be true”
~ Wm Shakespeare

While being true to yourself seems simple enough on the surface, beneath and deep within yourself this sense of congruence can look like so many things depending on where you are on your personal journey.

You know you’re being true to yourself when you’re feeling good about who you are. You really like the you that you are becoming and are starting to love yourself for who you are.

That voice inside your head which badgered you with different forms of negative self-talk is fading away into the dark void as your self-confidence rises to match the acceptance of your divine mission.

Understanding that communication is the key to delivering your own unique message, you are finding new and better ways to express yourself and speak your truth without offending the people you are trying to effectively communicate with.

You’re not having to maintain different personalities for different work, social, friend and family situations. You can represent your self as yourself without having to compromise, impress anyone, or care about what anyone else thinks, and you’re feeling good about it.

You are living a more centered and congruent life and are able to manage life’s situations, circumstances, and unforeseen obstacles which may arise, without the panic or sense of helplessness that you may have once felt in the past.

There is a simple ease for finding places of peace and joy in all things, decision-making comes without confusion or conflict, and you are more able to exercise your daily feats with accuracy, a high level of precision and performance.

All this is true for you when you are being true to yourself.

To be true to yourself you can give up the activities which no longer serve your new, more expanded self.

You no longer feel the need to kowtow to others, so you don’t need to play games anymore. You don’t need to manipulate, fear someone might be trying to manipulate you, or even feel like having to laugh falsely regarding an off-color joke or remark which conflicts with your alignment.

Remember when you felt a sense of guilt or compulsory obligation to agree with someone, or compliment someone who really didn’t deserve it out of fear of not being liked, loved, or regarded as a nice person? You don’t do that anymore.

Misrepresenting or compromising your authentic self is no longer an option, and now, the idea of it seems not only incongruent, but feels like hypocrisy, or lying. In fact, you’re realizing, you can be totally honest, never needing to lie again, not even to spare someone’s feelings, because now you are finding ways to agree to disagree without lying or compromising, without dishonoring someone else’s right to maintain their own opinion, even if it contrasts your own.

Your openness and honesty empower you to be who you are, in all your strength and in your weakness, without having to make apologies if you’re experiencing a moment when you’re not on your game 100 percent. You’re allowed to have a bad day, or a less than peak moment, without having to apologize to yourself or anyone else.

Militaristically forcing yourself to do the things that you need to do to get to where you want to be in a devil-may-care, take no prisoners-type attitude no longer serves you. You are finding new, more positive, ways to find the motivation to do the things that serve you on the way to achieving your highest and best.

You don’t have to compromise your integrity anymore, not when you can be true to yourself.

It’s Time for Me to Leave My Partner

Yes, no doubt, you’re feeling like you can’t take one more minute and that, “It’s time for me to leave my partner.” It may be well to call it quits if your relationship is completely dysfunctional and filled with abuse, then, by all means, you have to do what you have to do. But you might be jumping the gun if you feel like your connection is waning, you’re feeling like you have less and less in common every day, you’re feeling like you and your partner are growing apart on different paths, and if you’re just not feeling the love anymore, then you might be thinking, “It’s time for me to leave my partner.”

When nothing could be further from the truth.

In most cases, when two people are feeling like they are growing apart and feeling like calling it quits, this could be the worst thing you could do, if you are on an expansive path of personal growth and/or a progressive spiritual journey.

On the surface, that sounds whacked, but you must know that this feeling between two people is a marker, a huge blinking neon sign that begs you to, “Dare to Love More!” This feeling is the gateway through which you must pass to make it to the next level in your love vibration.

It is very likely that you and your partner are not as far apart as you might think, only that you are expressing yourselves in different ways, which should be celebrated, not eradicated.

Sure, your growth and expansion may look different, but you are both growing, changing, and expanding together, even though you might be using different distinctions, words, and phrases in an effort to communicate your expansion one to the other.

Let’s say the woman loves to practice meditation and yoga, while the man would rather play a team sport and also engage in watching team sports on television. You might think this to be an incredible mismatch.

What we have here is a failure to communicate.

Even though the symptoms look quite different, and the words and phrases sound very different, both members of this relationship can actually be growing in spirit and truth even though it looks quite different.

You might be surprised to know that team sports are very spiritual, and when athletes are engaged in team sports, they often get themselves into a spiritual state commonly referred to as “The Zone.” In this state, the brains of the teammates can co-create, communicate and access source energy, not unlike one might in meditation, prayer or in a group spiritual practice. This state of spiritual elevation is the same, though it looks very different, and it was accessed in very different ways.

When you are feeling as though things are getting difficult, or not feeling right, this is a clear indication not to look at your mate, to blame your partner, or look at your relationship as deteriorating. No, this is your sacred challenge to look inside yourself and realize this is a divine invitation to dare to love more and expand yourself.

If you feel as though your partner is annoying you, or up to no good, ask yourself why you feel that way?

The highest form of love is unconditional love, which usurps, “I love you no matter what.” Could you dare to entertain the idea of loving your partner unconditionally? This is your true calling. This is what this life is all about.

But it doesn’t start with your partner. In fact, it has nothing to do with your partner at all, except for your partner is provided to you as a tool, a mirror, reflecting back those areas where you have unresolved issues with you. Again,

Why do I feel that way?

Why does this or that drive you crazy?

If you’re doing meditation and yoga, it’s because this is necessary for you to grow and expand. It is clear that your partner doesn’t need to do those things. Your partner is managing his or her growth and expansion in a completely different way, and that’s okay.

It’s likely your partner has been trying to tell you this over a period of time but you’ve been able to understand him or her due to the variance in vocabulary. It’s as if you’re saying the same thing but in different languages, it’s no wonder it was difficult for you to understand, though the misunderstanding is understandable.

Maybe it’s time to listen with your heart and not be so quick to pass judgment. In fact, to do so would be hypocrisy. No one path is more right or wrong than another, and to suggest that your partner must grow, expand and express him or herself in the same manner as you is nothing less than spiritual arrogance.

There are many ways to achieve connection, you must allow everyone to find their own way and not condemn them for doing it in the manner which suits them best at any particular time and place.

Your divine mission of love is to love yourself first, then to the degree that you are able to love yourself, you can love others. You must love yourself for who you are, all your weakness, idiosyncrasies, all your missteps, and failure, as well as all your gifts, talents, and strengths.

Your challenge is to grow in love, to love yourself unconditionally, then, and only then, will you be able to love your partner, and others unconditionally.

You love, and allow them to be free, free to be whoever they may be, freely expressing themselves in the world which is perfect and different for each and every human being on this planet.

If you dare.

Growing It Alone

It can get lonely when you’re growing it alone.

You are courageously in the process of doing some advanced inner work few others could fully understand. This is deep inner work that would frighten anyone else if they could even allow themselves to conceive of taking on such a task.

You need to be able to carve out a little safe space in your social matrix as well as in your mind and your heart where you can be honest and open with how you’re feeling about this process and the road that you’re on. There might not be anyone else, no other person in your social circle, who could understand what you’re going through or how you’re feeling, but you are there.

You can, and need to be, honest with yourself about how you’re feeling. You had felt so connected to the thoughts and ideals which gave you a false sense of security, but still, you felt safe, surrounded by other people who felt the same way. Now that you’re in a state of metamorphosis, evolving, and shedding your socialized skin, it’s completely normal to feel like you’re all alone or frightened of the unknown from time to time. You might even feel like abandoning your decision to allow yourself to evolve and continue growing into a higher version of yourself altogether, and go back the familiar, the way things were.

It’s okay to have these feelings. We, all of us do, anytime we embark on a journey leading to something new. When we find ourselves in unfamiliar territory, we long for home. It’s a normal, natural part of growth. Honor the past with a sense of nostalgia, there were good times. Times when you felt safe and secure, and things weren’t quite as scary; remember them. It is good to let yourself reflect back on the good things in life.

Your mind is a very active machine, left to its own devices, it’s bound to come up with all kinds of ways to distract you from anything your growing heart consciousness might have in mind. You might think that people you once felt close too are rejecting you and your decision to choose this growth and advancement, but more likely they are secretly admiring your courage to attempt such a thing that they themselves would not have the courage or the wherewithal to do. So, they sit back in the shadows, secretly hoping that you will continue this journey, breaking out and breaking through. If you don’t make it and come back to your former life, they will be there to welcome you back and console you, but there will be a part of them that secretly hoped you would have made it. Because if you had, it would mean there is still hope for them.

Even in your relationship…

If you’re in a romantic relationship with someone, don’t make assumptions about what he or she might be thinking about your growth process. Create a safe place where the two of you can connect and you can talk openly about your adventures in growth. Even if he or she doesn’t fully understand, they should have an appreciation for the work you’re doing. Let your partner know that your growth and expansion is not threatening the relationship. It would be a normal concern that your lives may be leading in totally different directions, but it doesn’t mean the end of your relationship. In fact, it can make your relationship far better than either of you could imagine, because as you change, your relationship changes, too, without any extended effort on your part. It is a natural law.

As your relationship changes, staying connected, open and honest with your partner is paramount, if your relationship is to survive. Your expansion may call for changes to the patterns you previously contacted to sustain. These may be unhealthy or incongruent with your new life. So, without judgment or ridicule, simply being honest and open and renegotiating the parameters of your old relationship style will lead to growth and expansion of your relationship.

In this safe, heart-to-heart place, feel free to share your feelings, and encourage your partner to do likewise. And when your partner speaks, listen attentively. Let your partner ask questions, and answer them as best you can. Don’t compare you in your growth process to your partner’s. This is not a competition and no one has superiority over the other in this space. You are always equal, each doing the best you can with what you have, and you can remain as “one” throughout your journeys.

If you’re having trouble communicating, it’s okay (if not advised) to seek out third-party assistance to avoid losing the connection with your partner. Don’t be afraid to ask your partner to join with you to speak to clergy, a counselor, therapist or coach in an effort to find ways to work it out.

And in the event that you do end up growing apart, continue to love and bless each other as you both continue your separate journeys. Plus, you never know, sometimes people who have taken separate routes end up at the same location. I know it sounds crazy, but it’s true. You might be surprised one day to look over and find your partner standing right next to you. It happens.

No one knows, better than you, even if you’re feeling lonely, you are never alone.

Celebrate Growth in Fashion

Okay, you’ve been growing, changing, sacrificing, saying “goodbye” to your old destructive pattern and, “hello” to the new, and improved, a more expanded consciousness of your new self. You’re loving yourself more, and now it’s time to show yourself a little love by shopping and celebrating your growth in fashion.

The new you desires to be exposed, not hidden away, like the shadows of your past. When people look at you, they see something different. It’s time to let your difference shine. You are looking better, feeling better, your body and its immune system are getting better. You’re healthier and embracing life, so go ahead. Treat yourself to some new threads to affirm the new you.

Uh oh, here come the haters… “No,” they say, “You can’t do that,” as if to say you’re better than that. You know, you’ve seen ‘em, those holier-than-thou spiritual types who should be reported directly to the fashion police. To them, they feel that a well-kept and fashionable appearance (and frequent bathing) is not appropriate for the more spiritually advanced.

That’s a different topic, entirely. Don’t let them dissuade you from celebrating your new life because you’re living a better life, your best life and making the world a better place. You’re no longer a rat in the race, you’re establishing a whole new pace, and it’s time to celebrate.

It’s possible that the old fearful you was often sacrificed for the benefit of others, but this new you… It is courageous and longs to be recognized and celebrated by you. It wants to be adorned making your inner him or her shine through, and it’s perfectly okay if others notice.

Now, I’m not saying to go overboard and max out all your credit cards in celebration of your new perspective on life. What I am saying is that it’s okay (if not necessary) to demonstrate a little self-love to your inner girl or boy by letting him or her play dress up every once and a while.

And if your negative self-talk starts to rear its head and begin mind-chatter about your unworthiness, squash it. You are worthy and you deserve this little treat. As a matter of fact, it may have been a long time coming, and the time has come.

This is not about frivolous excess, it’s about rewarding yourself for a job well done. You’ve done the work, the deep inner work, that would be so frightening to someone else that they would not ever dare to conceive of taking on such a challenge. But you have.

It’s time to express yourself authentically, in honoring and nurturing the wonderfully amazing person that you are evolving into. So, go pick out something beautiful, something that genuinely represents who you are, or even something fun, to celebrate your authenticity and individuality.

Let others see you for who you are. You are more self-confident, generous, use words that exude kindness and compassion. You’re honoring the temple of your body, are mindful of what you put in it and how you treat it. You respect who you are and present yourself as a clean, deserving and well-kept student, today.

This radical celebration of self-love raises your vibration and you will see good things coming your way as they are being attracted to the new you and your exuberant presence.

You are both blessed and a blessing to others.

You are worthy. You have done the work and are continuing to do so.

This is your day.

Enjoy.

Complexity in Romance

As you’re growing, changing, expanding, and evolving you may notice complexity in romance as your romantic relationships begin to don a new look and feel. As you are becoming more empowered and are filling your desire for love from within, your attention shifts because you no longer are as needy as you were before. You no longer seek love from outside yourself. Instead, you let your limitless love which wells up within you to overflow to others, which leads to complexity in romance due to your spiritual growth.

When you are looking for your soul mate or romantic interest, often you are in search of characteristics which would compliment your own, and – more importantly – you are likely to be looking for support for areas in your life which are lacking.

As you grow and change, you become more confident as the things which may have made you feel as though you needed support from someone else begin to resolve themselves. The areas of your life where you felt inadequacies are no longer threatening to you as your personal growth affects all areas of your life including emotional, physical, spiritual and financial.

If you were lacking in some of these key areas of life when you were looking for a suitable mate, it is likely you sought someone who could assist you in these areas. As you evolve into the higher version of yourself, you no longer seek fulfillment of these areas of life from your partner.

Does that mean love fades?

No. The love that you share with your partner could exponentially grow uninhibited by your need to seek fulfillment in him or her if you are headed in the same direction. On the other hand, it could lead to complexity in romance, as one of you grows and expands, the other one might not, or you could begin to grow in completely different ways, leading lives on diverging paths.

Romantic relationships are a key component in the process of growth. For instance, things are rarely conflict-free in a relationship between two people. When the opportunity for conflict presents itself, it is often an indicator of some inner work that needs to be addressed within yourself, even though it may feel as though your partner is wrong, or attacking you.

Once you start addressing romantic complexities in this way your growth and evolution accelerates as you are constantly finding your heart, body, mind, and soul in a perpetual state of metamorphosis. Instead of looking at ways to mitigate the damages, you are healing those overwhelming and/or delicately intimate areas of your life.

In this way, romantic partners provide us with a mirror which reflects to our consciousness those areas which need to be addressed further expanding your continued growth and evolution. There could come a time when your continued growth may not be impacted by this person anymore. If you are still in need of further inner growth, you may attract someone else in your life to work out your other life issues.

Ever notice how you (or someone else) might be attracting the same kind of person into your life over and over again? This is a clear indication that you have unresolved issues that you have not processed internally, yet. Until you have done so, you will always attract the type of person who will present these issues to you as if they were on a silver platter.

“It’s not me. It’s them!”

Sure, it looks like they’re at fault, but this is a bold indication that there is work in you centered around this area of life that needs to be addressed and dealt with until you can move to a higher vibrtational relationship.

Once this relationship has served its purpose, the romantic interest will fade, leaving you feeling more like pleasant roommates or brother and sister. If anger and resentment persists, this chapter has not reached its conclusion. Separation may be bitter and painful, and (sorry to say) more of the same is already on its way.

When you have healed and evolved to a certain degree of healthy advancement, only them can you truly exercise your free will when attracting and selecting a mate, otherwise, your seeking will be powered by lack and need for growth.

At some point you will begin to understand that relationships don’t happen to you, they are manifested from that deepest part of you which seeks to encourage your personal growth and expansion. You are never a victim, always the student.

You will never again cry out the question,

“Why is this happening to me?”

Because you will know you attracted this complexity in romance for your greatest good. When you find the lesson, apply the understanding, heal and grow through to the next level, you are genuinely grateful for the experience and are able to continue, no longer having to suffer the angst of that issue forthwith.

You are Healing Love

There is no one to blame for feeling as though you are in conflict, disrespected, or abused when complexity in romance arises. Once you understand the truth, you welcome these feelings as indicators of areas of life which need to be addressed before you can move on, and it’s all on you. You are the healing lover.

It’s then that you realize that everything is connected. Everything happens at the right time and everything is perfectly perfect. Now, you can sit back, relax, love and enjoy the show.

Want to learn more? Consider attending an Awakening to True Love Workshop.

What Stands Between You?

You already know you need to stop putting things off, watch news and the tube less, and stop participating in activities that are pure time-suckers. You know you need to be more proactive, set goals and deadlines to achieve them. And if you’re more aware, you know you need a system to track your progress and increase your accountability when it comes to doing the things that need to be done to create your highest and best.

Okay, you know what you need to do, you can see it clearly over there, on the other side of the crevasse which stands between where you are and where you know you want to be.

If you really want to get from here, you need to take a look at what stands between you and where you want to be. Here are some of the things that may be keeping you from having what you really want (what you really, really want):

You’re Afraid

Fear is probably the number one thing that stands between you and what you want, it is by far the most powerful influencer in the mind of all human beings. And in terms of making changes to your life, fear of change, and fear of failure are at the top of the list.

And at any point, if you decide to bail out on pursuing your dreams, there is a mob of folks waiting to welcome you back to your life of mediocrity, they’ll hug you, kiss you, tell you how sorry they are for you, they’ll make you chicken soup and nurse you back to mediocrity any way they can.

The best lives are enjoyed by those who have forged their own trail, conquering their fears along the way, knowing that the road ahead is going to be a challenge.

The road may be longer than you thought it would be, have more twists and turns, and you might even take a wrong turn every now and again, but you must start the journey and follow it wherever it leads if you want to get to where you want to be.

Paralysis of Analysis

Sometimes you can get so lost in the study or preparation of a thing that you become frozen in time and space. There is so much to learn, there’s always another book, seminar, class, workshop, a course of study, or guru who you’d like to meet that stands between you and where you want to be.

As prepared as you could possibly be, you could not possibly anticipate anything that might appear on your radar along the way. And if you tried to study and prepare for any possible scenario, chances are you’ll be lost in the prep and never feel prepared enough to confidently leave.

You’ve got to be ready and willing to act on what you have, and gather more information along the way. Otherwise, you will remain stagnant, a victim of the paralysis of analysis. If you run into an unexpected challenge along the way, you just have to do what every other expansion explorer does, scramble like hell, reach out to others, try to figure out a way to get around it, or slay the dragon and keep moving.

Lack of Motivation

If you really want to change your life, you need to be willing and committed to your continuing to make progress even if you’re not feeling it. Motivation is great, but it is often fleeting, what then?

That’s when your true character shines through, you can be a whiner or a winner. Your choice. If you’re going to pick up your toys and run home to mommy, that’s okay, maybe it’s not your time to be the winner. But if it’s your time to dominate your life and emerge the triumphant victorious winner you were always destined to be… Keep going, even if you don’t feel like it.

Winners make their doingness a habit, which requires no motivation. Doing isn’t just what you do, it’s who you are.

Passivity

There is a huge trend toward using, “Whatever,” as a general excuse for anything that might not turn out the way you like as if it justifies walking away from anything because “shit happens.” And there are a thousand excuses that will sound like it justifies your quitting.

You just can’t have that attitude, if you really want what you really want. If it’s true, and you want it, and you think you can to what it takes to get it, you won’t be dissuaded by the first obstacle that shows up and say something like, “Oh, I guess that just wasn’t meant for me.”

No, it was meant for you, you just bailed out on getting what you wanted. What stands between you and what you want is not, “Whatever,” it’s you.

If it’s you, then start practicing doing things. Make a commitment to do something every day – no matter what – and do it. It doesn’t have to be anything big. It could be something like making your bed every day, or writing in your journal every night, and prove to yourself that you can learn to do something without letting life’s excuses get in the way.

Slow and Easy Wins the Race

Don’t take off in a full sprint toward achieving what you want. It’s better to take small steps toward what you want than no steps at all, and making continual progress assures that every day you are getting closer to what you want.

Sometimes, the over-ambitious person has a clear vision of what they want and they take off with the fervent expectation to be able to get there quickly because it is so clear to them, that they could actually reach out and touch it. Then, fail from utter exhaustion, possibly warranting a trip in an ambulance, then having to start over again from scratch, if they survive the ordeal.

(I did that once in Vegas. From the strip, I said, “Look! There’s the Rio, I’ll race you there…” My friend and I started out… It looked so clear, so close. Not my best moment, but a great analogy, eh?)

When is Now the Time for You to Start

You are ready. In fact, you’ve never been so ready. If you readied any longer, you’d start to rot.

You know what you want. Now go get it.

But keep your wits about you, be cautious but keep going, slow and steady.

What you do today brings you so much closer to what you want.

What are you going to do?