It’s Time for Me to Leave My Partner

Yes, no doubt, you’re feeling like you can’t take one more minute and that, “It’s time for me to leave my partner.” It may be well to call it quits if your relationship is completely dysfunctional and filled with abuse, then, by all means, you have to do what you have to do. But you might be jumping the gun if you feel like your connection is waning, you’re feeling like you have less and less in common every day, you’re feeling like you and your partner are growing apart on different paths, and if you’re just not feeling the love anymore, then you might be thinking, “It’s time for me to leave my partner.”

When nothing could be further from the truth.

In most cases, when two people are feeling like they are growing apart and feeling like calling it quits, this could be the worst thing you could do, if you are on an expansive path of personal growth and/or a progressive spiritual journey.

On the surface, that sounds whacked, but you must know that this feeling between two people is a marker, a huge blinking neon sign that begs you to, “Dare to Love More!” This feeling is the gateway through which you must pass to make it to the next level in your love vibration.

It is very likely that you and your partner are not as far apart as you might think, only that you are expressing yourselves in different ways, which should be celebrated, not eradicated.

Sure, your growth and expansion may look different, but you are both growing, changing, and expanding together, even though you might be using different distinctions, words, and phrases in an effort to communicate your expansion one to the other.

Let’s say the woman loves to practice meditation and yoga, while the man would rather play a team sport and also engage in watching team sports on television. You might think this to be an incredible mismatch.

What we have here is a failure to communicate.

Even though the symptoms look quite different, and the words and phrases sound very different, both members of this relationship can actually be growing in spirit and truth even though it looks quite different.

You might be surprised to know that team sports are very spiritual, and when athletes are engaged in team sports, they often get themselves into a spiritual state commonly referred to as “The Zone.” In this state, the brains of the teammates can co-create, communicate and access source energy, not unlike one might in meditation, prayer or in a group spiritual practice. This state of spiritual elevation is the same, though it looks very different, and it was accessed in very different ways.

When you are feeling as though things are getting difficult, or not feeling right, this is a clear indication not to look at your mate, to blame your partner, or look at your relationship as deteriorating. No, this is your sacred challenge to look inside yourself and realize this is a divine invitation to dare to love more and expand yourself.

If you feel as though your partner is annoying you, or up to no good, ask yourself why you feel that way?

The highest form of love is unconditional love, which usurps, “I love you no matter what.” Could you dare to entertain the idea of loving your partner unconditionally? This is your true calling. This is what this life is all about.

But it doesn’t start with your partner. In fact, it has nothing to do with your partner at all, except for your partner is provided to you as a tool, a mirror, reflecting back those areas where you have unresolved issues with you. Again,

Why do I feel that way?

Why does this or that drive you crazy?

If you’re doing meditation and yoga, it’s because this is necessary for you to grow and expand. It is clear that your partner doesn’t need to do those things. Your partner is managing his or her growth and expansion in a completely different way, and that’s okay.

It’s likely your partner has been trying to tell you this over a period of time but you’ve been able to understand him or her due to the variance in vocabulary. It’s as if you’re saying the same thing but in different languages, it’s no wonder it was difficult for you to understand, though the misunderstanding is understandable.

Maybe it’s time to listen with your heart and not be so quick to pass judgment. In fact, to do so would be hypocrisy. No one path is more right or wrong than another, and to suggest that your partner must grow, expand and express him or herself in the same manner as you is nothing less than spiritual arrogance.

There are many ways to achieve connection, you must allow everyone to find their own way and not condemn them for doing it in the manner which suits them best at any particular time and place.

Your divine mission of love is to love yourself first, then to the degree that you are able to love yourself, you can love others. You must love yourself for who you are, all your weakness, idiosyncrasies, all your missteps, and failure, as well as all your gifts, talents, and strengths.

Your challenge is to grow in love, to love yourself unconditionally, then, and only then, will you be able to love your partner, and others unconditionally.

You love, and allow them to be free, free to be whoever they may be, freely expressing themselves in the world which is perfect and different for each and every human being on this planet.

If you dare.

Growing It Alone

It can get lonely when you’re growing it alone.

You are courageously in the process of doing some advanced inner work few others could fully understand. This is deep inner work that would frighten anyone else if they could even allow themselves to conceive of taking on such a task.

You need to be able to carve out a little safe space in your social matrix as well as in your mind and your heart where you can be honest and open with how you’re feeling about this process and the road that you’re on. There might not be anyone else, no other person in your social circle, who could understand what you’re going through or how you’re feeling, but you are there.

You can, and need to be, honest with yourself about how you’re feeling. You had felt so connected to the thoughts and ideals which gave you a false sense of security, but still, you felt safe, surrounded by other people who felt the same way. Now that you’re in a state of metamorphosis, evolving, and shedding your socialized skin, it’s completely normal to feel like you’re all alone or frightened of the unknown from time to time. You might even feel like abandoning your decision to allow yourself to evolve and continue growing into a higher version of yourself altogether, and go back the familiar, the way things were.

It’s okay to have these feelings. We, all of us do, anytime we embark on a journey leading to something new. When we find ourselves in unfamiliar territory, we long for home. It’s a normal, natural part of growth. Honor the past with a sense of nostalgia, there were good times. Times when you felt safe and secure, and things weren’t quite as scary; remember them. It is good to let yourself reflect back on the good things in life.

Your mind is a very active machine, left to its own devices, it’s bound to come up with all kinds of ways to distract you from anything your growing heart consciousness might have in mind. You might think that people you once felt close too are rejecting you and your decision to choose this growth and advancement, but more likely they are secretly admiring your courage to attempt such a thing that they themselves would not have the courage or the wherewithal to do. So, they sit back in the shadows, secretly hoping that you will continue this journey, breaking out and breaking through. If you don’t make it and come back to your former life, they will be there to welcome you back and console you, but there will be a part of them that secretly hoped you would have made it. Because if you had, it would mean there is still hope for them.

Even in your relationship…

If you’re in a romantic relationship with someone, don’t make assumptions about what he or she might be thinking about your growth process. Create a safe place where the two of you can connect and you can talk openly about your adventures in growth. Even if he or she doesn’t fully understand, they should have an appreciation for the work you’re doing. Let your partner know that your growth and expansion is not threatening the relationship. It would be a normal concern that your lives may be leading in totally different directions, but it doesn’t mean the end of your relationship. In fact, it can make your relationship far better than either of you could imagine, because as you change, your relationship changes, too, without any extended effort on your part. It is a natural law.

As your relationship changes, staying connected, open and honest with your partner is paramount, if your relationship is to survive. Your expansion may call for changes to the patterns you previously contacted to sustain. These may be unhealthy or incongruent with your new life. So, without judgment or ridicule, simply being honest and open and renegotiating the parameters of your old relationship style will lead to growth and expansion of your relationship.

In this safe, heart-to-heart place, feel free to share your feelings, and encourage your partner to do likewise. And when your partner speaks, listen attentively. Let your partner ask questions, and answer them as best you can. Don’t compare you in your growth process to your partner’s. This is not a competition and no one has superiority over the other in this space. You are always equal, each doing the best you can with what you have, and you can remain as “one” throughout your journeys.

If you’re having trouble communicating, it’s okay (if not advised) to seek out third-party assistance to avoid losing the connection with your partner. Don’t be afraid to ask your partner to join with you to speak to clergy, a counselor, therapist or coach in an effort to find ways to work it out.

And in the event that you do end up growing apart, continue to love and bless each other as you both continue your separate journeys. Plus, you never know, sometimes people who have taken separate routes end up at the same location. I know it sounds crazy, but it’s true. You might be surprised one day to look over and find your partner standing right next to you. It happens.

No one knows, better than you, even if you’re feeling lonely, you are never alone.

Celebrate Growth in Fashion

Okay, you’ve been growing, changing, sacrificing, saying “goodbye” to your old destructive pattern and, “hello” to the new, and improved, a more expanded consciousness of your new self. You’re loving yourself more, and now it’s time to show yourself a little love by shopping and celebrating your growth in fashion.

The new you desires to be exposed, not hidden away, like the shadows of your past. When people look at you, they see something different. It’s time to let your difference shine. You are looking better, feeling better, your body and its immune system are getting better. You’re healthier and embracing life, so go ahead. Treat yourself to some new threads to affirm the new you.

Uh oh, here come the haters… “No,” they say, “You can’t do that,” as if to say you’re better than that. You know, you’ve seen ‘em, those holier-than-thou spiritual types who should be reported directly to the fashion police. To them, they feel that a well-kept and fashionable appearance (and frequent bathing) is not appropriate for the more spiritually advanced.

That’s a different topic, entirely. Don’t let them dissuade you from celebrating your new life because you’re living a better life, your best life and making the world a better place. You’re no longer a rat in the race, you’re establishing a whole new pace, and it’s time to celebrate.

It’s possible that the old fearful you was often sacrificed for the benefit of others, but this new you… It is courageous and longs to be recognized and celebrated by you. It wants to be adorned making your inner him or her shine through, and it’s perfectly okay if others notice.

Now, I’m not saying to go overboard and max out all your credit cards in celebration of your new perspective on life. What I am saying is that it’s okay (if not necessary) to demonstrate a little self-love to your inner girl or boy by letting him or her play dress up every once and a while.

And if your negative self-talk starts to rear its head and begin mind-chatter about your unworthiness, squash it. You are worthy and you deserve this little treat. As a matter of fact, it may have been a long time coming, and the time has come.

This is not about frivolous excess, it’s about rewarding yourself for a job well done. You’ve done the work, the deep inner work, that would be so frightening to someone else that they would not ever dare to conceive of taking on such a challenge. But you have.

It’s time to express yourself authentically, in honoring and nurturing the wonderfully amazing person that you are evolving into. So, go pick out something beautiful, something that genuinely represents who you are, or even something fun, to celebrate your authenticity and individuality.

Let others see you for who you are. You are more self-confident, generous, use words that exude kindness and compassion. You’re honoring the temple of your body, are mindful of what you put in it and how you treat it. You respect who you are and present yourself as a clean, deserving and well-kept student, today.

This radical celebration of self-love raises your vibration and you will see good things coming your way as they are being attracted to the new you and your exuberant presence.

You are both blessed and a blessing to others.

You are worthy. You have done the work and are continuing to do so.

This is your day.

Enjoy.

Complexity in Romance

As you’re growing, changing, expanding, and evolving you may notice complexity in romance as your romantic relationships begin to don a new look and feel. As you are becoming more empowered and are filling your desire for love from within, your attention shifts because you no longer are as needy as you were before. You no longer seek love from outside yourself. Instead, you let your limitless love which wells up within you to overflow to others, which leads to complexity in romance due to your spiritual growth.

When you are looking for your soul mate or romantic interest, often you are in search of characteristics which would compliment your own, and – more importantly – you are likely to be looking for support for areas in your life which are lacking.

As you grow and change, you become more confident as the things which may have made you feel as though you needed support from someone else begin to resolve themselves. The areas of your life where you felt inadequacies are no longer threatening to you as your personal growth affects all areas of your life including emotional, physical, spiritual and financial.

If you were lacking in some of these key areas of life when you were looking for a suitable mate, it is likely you sought someone who could assist you in these areas. As you evolve into the higher version of yourself, you no longer seek fulfillment of these areas of life from your partner.

Does that mean love fades?

No. The love that you share with your partner could exponentially grow uninhibited by your need to seek fulfillment in him or her if you are headed in the same direction. On the other hand, it could lead to complexity in romance, as one of you grows and expands, the other one might not, or you could begin to grow in completely different ways, leading lives on diverging paths.

Romantic relationships are a key component in the process of growth. For instance, things are rarely conflict-free in a relationship between two people. When the opportunity for conflict presents itself, it is often an indicator of some inner work that needs to be addressed within yourself, even though it may feel as though your partner is wrong, or attacking you.

Once you start addressing romantic complexities in this way your growth and evolution accelerates as you are constantly finding your heart, body, mind, and soul in a perpetual state of metamorphosis. Instead of looking at ways to mitigate the damages, you are healing those overwhelming and/or delicately intimate areas of your life.

In this way, romantic partners provide us with a mirror which reflects to our consciousness those areas which need to be addressed further expanding your continued growth and evolution. There could come a time when your continued growth may not be impacted by this person anymore. If you are still in need of further inner growth, you may attract someone else in your life to work out your other life issues.

Ever notice how you (or someone else) might be attracting the same kind of person into your life over and over again? This is a clear indication that you have unresolved issues that you have not processed internally, yet. Until you have done so, you will always attract the type of person who will present these issues to you as if they were on a silver platter.

“It’s not me. It’s them!”

Sure, it looks like they’re at fault, but this is a bold indication that there is work in you centered around this area of life that needs to be addressed and dealt with until you can move to a higher vibrtational relationship.

Once this relationship has served its purpose, the romantic interest will fade, leaving you feeling more like pleasant roommates or brother and sister. If anger and resentment persists, this chapter has not reached its conclusion. Separation may be bitter and painful, and (sorry to say) more of the same is already on its way.

When you have healed and evolved to a certain degree of healthy advancement, only them can you truly exercise your free will when attracting and selecting a mate, otherwise, your seeking will be powered by lack and need for growth.

At some point you will begin to understand that relationships don’t happen to you, they are manifested from that deepest part of you which seeks to encourage your personal growth and expansion. You are never a victim, always the student.

You will never again cry out the question,

“Why is this happening to me?”

Because you will know you attracted this complexity in romance for your greatest good. When you find the lesson, apply the understanding, heal and grow through to the next level, you are genuinely grateful for the experience and are able to continue, no longer having to suffer the angst of that issue forthwith.

You are Healing Love

There is no one to blame for feeling as though you are in conflict, disrespected, or abused when complexity in romance arises. Once you understand the truth, you welcome these feelings as indicators of areas of life which need to be addressed before you can move on, and it’s all on you. You are the healing lover.

It’s then that you realize that everything is connected. Everything happens at the right time and everything is perfectly perfect. Now, you can sit back, relax, love and enjoy the show.

Want to learn more? Consider attending an Awakening to True Love Workshop.

What Stands Between You?

You already know you need to stop putting things off, watch news and the tube less, and stop participating in activities that are pure time-suckers. You know you need to be more proactive, set goals and deadlines to achieve them. And if you’re more aware, you know you need a system to track your progress and increase your accountability when it comes to doing the things that need to be done to create your highest and best.

Okay, you know what you need to do, you can see it clearly over there, on the other side of the crevasse which stands between where you are and where you know you want to be.

If you really want to get from here, you need to take a look at what stands between you and where you want to be. Here are some of the things that may be keeping you from having what you really want (what you really, really want):

You’re Afraid

Fear is probably the number one thing that stands between you and what you want, it is by far the most powerful influencer in the mind of all human beings. And in terms of making changes to your life, fear of change, and fear of failure are at the top of the list.

And at any point, if you decide to bail out on pursuing your dreams, there is a mob of folks waiting to welcome you back to your life of mediocrity, they’ll hug you, kiss you, tell you how sorry they are for you, they’ll make you chicken soup and nurse you back to mediocrity any way they can.

The best lives are enjoyed by those who have forged their own trail, conquering their fears along the way, knowing that the road ahead is going to be a challenge.

The road may be longer than you thought it would be, have more twists and turns, and you might even take a wrong turn every now and again, but you must start the journey and follow it wherever it leads if you want to get to where you want to be.

Paralysis of Analysis

Sometimes you can get so lost in the study or preparation of a thing that you become frozen in time and space. There is so much to learn, there’s always another book, seminar, class, workshop, a course of study, or guru who you’d like to meet that stands between you and where you want to be.

As prepared as you could possibly be, you could not possibly anticipate anything that might appear on your radar along the way. And if you tried to study and prepare for any possible scenario, chances are you’ll be lost in the prep and never feel prepared enough to confidently leave.

You’ve got to be ready and willing to act on what you have, and gather more information along the way. Otherwise, you will remain stagnant, a victim of the paralysis of analysis. If you run into an unexpected challenge along the way, you just have to do what every other expansion explorer does, scramble like hell, reach out to others, try to figure out a way to get around it, or slay the dragon and keep moving.

Lack of Motivation

If you really want to change your life, you need to be willing and committed to your continuing to make progress even if you’re not feeling it. Motivation is great, but it is often fleeting, what then?

That’s when your true character shines through, you can be a whiner or a winner. Your choice. If you’re going to pick up your toys and run home to mommy, that’s okay, maybe it’s not your time to be the winner. But if it’s your time to dominate your life and emerge the triumphant victorious winner you were always destined to be… Keep going, even if you don’t feel like it.

Winners make their doingness a habit, which requires no motivation. Doing isn’t just what you do, it’s who you are.

Passivity

There is a huge trend toward using, “Whatever,” as a general excuse for anything that might not turn out the way you like as if it justifies walking away from anything because “shit happens.” And there are a thousand excuses that will sound like it justifies your quitting.

You just can’t have that attitude, if you really want what you really want. If it’s true, and you want it, and you think you can to what it takes to get it, you won’t be dissuaded by the first obstacle that shows up and say something like, “Oh, I guess that just wasn’t meant for me.”

No, it was meant for you, you just bailed out on getting what you wanted. What stands between you and what you want is not, “Whatever,” it’s you.

If it’s you, then start practicing doing things. Make a commitment to do something every day – no matter what – and do it. It doesn’t have to be anything big. It could be something like making your bed every day, or writing in your journal every night, and prove to yourself that you can learn to do something without letting life’s excuses get in the way.

Slow and Easy Wins the Race

Don’t take off in a full sprint toward achieving what you want. It’s better to take small steps toward what you want than no steps at all, and making continual progress assures that every day you are getting closer to what you want.

Sometimes, the over-ambitious person has a clear vision of what they want and they take off with the fervent expectation to be able to get there quickly because it is so clear to them, that they could actually reach out and touch it. Then, fail from utter exhaustion, possibly warranting a trip in an ambulance, then having to start over again from scratch, if they survive the ordeal.

(I did that once in Vegas. From the strip, I said, “Look! There’s the Rio, I’ll race you there…” My friend and I started out… It looked so clear, so close. Not my best moment, but a great analogy, eh?)

When is Now the Time for You to Start

You are ready. In fact, you’ve never been so ready. If you readied any longer, you’d start to rot.

You know what you want. Now go get it.

But keep your wits about you, be cautious but keep going, slow and steady.

What you do today brings you so much closer to what you want.

What are you going to do?

5 Steps Toward a Better LIfe

“I can’t seem to get in the groove for a better life.”

You know you want a better life, but you just can’t seem to gain enough momentum to make any significant progress, creating separation from your old life.

We all know, that you can’t expect change to come if you’re stuck in a rut and continue to do the same ol’ same ol’. So, here are some changes you can make to start rocking your new life.

1. Unplug

If you’re plugged into media streams via television, radio, or any other of the available media streams or devices, turn them off, or unplug them all together. Nothing will suck the potential new life from you and drag you back down to lower vibrations than feeding through the media IV.

And it’s not just the Constant Negative News (CNN), this includes sitcoms, late night TV, Netflix, Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat… all of it. Not only do these distract you from achieving your highest and best, they create an incredible loss of time. Time which could be better spent doing anything else. Time which can never be recovered.

“But,” you interject, “Facebook,” or any other interactive media stream, “is a part of my,” (insert somewhat valid excuse) business promotional campaign, ministry, or how I stay connected to my family, etc. Okay, if you must stay connected, then do the responsible thing, monitor and meter your access. Limit yourself to 30 minutes a day.

Use all that extra time to work toward expanding the new you, creating your better life, or make the world a better place, in the real world.

2. Talk to You

When you’re on the path to a better life, chances are your negative self-talk will rear its ugly head in an attempt to dissuade you from changing your life.

You need to not let yourself get distracted by those critical inner voices from your dark past trying to drag you down with claims of your unworthiness, or taunting you, making fun of you, saying you’re not good enough, or are destined to fail, so why even try.

These inner victims have done a good job keep you stuck where you are in life. If you’re going to break free, all you need to do is correct the voice when it pops up. If it says, “You’re not educated enough,” then stop, correct it (do it out loud, if it’s not too embarrassing) by stating a positive reframing of it, like, “Lots of rich, famous, and influential people who have changed the world were not educated,” or some other positive statement and repeat it three times.

If you keep it up, you will find your inner voice begin to not only silence but start to encourage you to move forward. This is when you know you’re making positive progress.

3. People Up

What kind of people are you hanging out with?

There’s a strong connection between the folks you hang out with and where you are in your station in life.

In fact, it’s the number one reason why some people will never be able to exit a life of crime and will always be in trouble with the law because it’s a lifestyle, their family and friends are all in the same “line of work.”

If a criminal really wants to no longer live a life of crime, they need to get away from the hood and make new friends.

From an income point of view, it is said your income level and life view will be roughly equivalent to the five people you spend the most time commiserating with. So, who are they? What kind of life are they leading or promoting?

Do you have energy vampires, who suck the life (and possibly the resources) out of you, leaving nothing for you to focus on making a better life for yourself? Think about give them a less influential station in your social circle, or give them the boot altogether.

Surround yourself with positive, supportive people, who are the kind of people you want to be like. If they’re vibrating at a higher level, your vibration will raise when you’re around them.

Whether conscious or not, these people are shaping your life. If you want to change the shape of your life, changing these five people is a good way to get ‘er done.

4. Do Something

The doers are the people who actually change the world. Rarely does a dreamer make a significant change in society, the world, or their own life by just imagining it, or by repeating positive affirmations. The people who make significant changes in their lives and the world take action. They do something.

You need to do something that is outside of your current routine, that will build up reserves in your new personal escrow account, which will contribute to your new life.

Do something every day. It doesn’t have to be huge, and it will have an accumulative effect on your new life.

5. Heart On

Get to know who you are at your core, as a person, as an extension of all there is in life. Your heart is the central point of your nervous system and has powers you can only imagine.

For men, getting in touch with your gut – your gut feelings – is all about knowing who you are and staying congruent with your true identity, the person you were always meant to be. That person is waiting to come to life, and it’s up to you to let it loose.

For women, it’s your heart, which speaks for itself. You know when something is right or wrong by the feeling in your chest. This is your heart, looking after you, guiding you, even though you may not pay attention to it much, now is the time to start living by your heart.

No matter where it’s felt, in the gut or in the chest, it’s all about the heart baby, and love is the conduit that powers it and ties us all – all things – together.

Get your heart on, start living a life of love for a better life, a better world and a better tomorrow.

7 Points of Evolving Expansion

One of the components of evolutionary expansion is the ability to allow base beliefs to expand beyond the primitive definitions which you have been groomed to hold onto with every fiber of your being. Even so, with all that familial and social programming, something inside you is gently tapping on your shoulder, quietly whispering the question, “Is there something more?” Indeed, there is. Here are 7 points of evolving expansion that you may notice as contrasting as you continue to open, grow and change into the higher version of yourself.

1. Be a Good Person

We’re all told to be a good person, to not try to buck the system or be a rebel. There is a basic tenant which harkens to us to not be a bad person, to treat our fellow beings as we might like to have them treat us and to feel sorry for others who are struggling (maybe even lend them a hand in one way or another). Avoid criminal activity, obey the laws of the land, understand and reinforce the ideals of what is right and what is wrong, and influence others to comply.

Expanded Version

Evolving to the grander version of yourself includes allowing the good person that you’ve been raised to be to expand into an even better person, only this next level of goodness is not defined by others. The good person you’re becoming can only be defined by you, as the result of your expanding self, establishing a greater, more sensitive heart connection with the energies of life. This expanded good person is likely to see things quite differently than their other well-programmed and compliant neighbors. Still, the inclination to be a good person remains, though it takes on a new vitality and flavor than what others might definitively expect.

2. Gather and Believe

In the United States and other countries, this is usually an expectation to have an inclination to some kind of belief system. While some are more popular than others, there is a wide range of belief systems available for anyone to adhere to, everything from Catholicism to Atheism and then some.

Expanded Version

The expanded being begins to break free from the confines of any box which adheres to a specific and limited belief system. As you evolve you see that things are not as they appear to be and certainly not as you were led to believe. This opens the heart and the mind to new possibilities. While you may have a desire to continue with your present belief system, if you were to clearly voice your new revelations, or question the inappropriateness or inadequacies with their prescribed belief system, this could cause problems for you. You are developing your own belief system, which cannot be fit into someone else’s restrictive box of thought.

3. You and Your Self

You’ve been raised to believe that you must fight to preserve your sense of self. You know what you feel, want, believe and you are compelled to fight, or risk all to defend it. This is an egocentric point of view which keeps all of us separated from becoming one. Even in the sacred bond of marriage, or among blood relatives, this “fight for your right” mentality is pervasive, keeps and tears us apart. We form organizations, factions, religions, governments, laws and military forces to defend our separateness.

Expanded Version

As you evolve into the higher version of your self, your “self” decreases as you become more tolerant and tune into the vibration of love and independently connect more to the source of everything. As you bid your ego, Adieu, you can understand what Jesus meant when he said, “He who has found his life will lose it, and he who has lost his life for My sake will find it.” (Matthew 16:25) It doesn’t refer to your literal loss of life, but to your moving forward for the greater good, leaving your ego behind; not an easy thing to do. Your ego has been in the driver’s seat far too long to be willing to leave without a fight. Nonetheless, letting go of this part of your self is and welcomed and important part of your evolution.

4. When Bad Things Happen

The old you was programmed to get up and fight or sulk in sadness when things don’t go the way you want, always having to choose between accepting victimization or becoming the warrior willing to fight (compromise morals or commit crimes) for what you want, when things don’t go the way you expected. Ultimately, the powers that be are too powerful to do battle with, so most of us, sulk, fall into depression, or try to ease the pain by leaning on a wide variety of addictions which avail themselves to help us mitigate the damages and pain associated with having to accept our lowly lot in life.

Expanded Version

Your expanded-self looks at challenges, difficulties, inadequacies and incongruent ideas from an entirely new perspective. From this viewpoint above and outside yourself, without your ego in tow, you are more able to see things as they really are, not as you’ve been programmed to see them. You are understanding more that when Jesus said, “And we know that in all things God works for the good…” (Romans 8:28) that they truly do. “All things,” even the worst of things you could possibly imagine, all pave the way for something so far better, but we are more likely than not unable to see what good lays beyond the struggle we may be engaged in at the time. With this understanding, you are less prone to worry, and unable to be victimized, because you know there is something better not far off, eliminating what we previously considered, “bad things.” Now you’re realizing that these are only necessary changes of direction or attention.

5. Mistakes and Coincidences

You have been trained to believe that mistakes are bad, and you’ve learned to beat yourself up for your missteps and accept ridicule from others when you’ve stumbled. And coincidences, are just that; some unassociated or random thing that has transpired for no apparent reason, which could be a fortunate unexpected good thing (or a bad thing). In any case, these things, your unfortunate missteps and any coincidental manifestations are just that; random and disconnected. Sometimes stuff just happens; that is all.

Expanded Version

As you continue to evolve you begin to understand that there are no such things as mistakes or coincidence because you are becoming more aware of the divine connectedness in all things. You know that all mistakes carry with them a sacred treasure of a hidden message or learning that you may not have been able to receive having not gone through this process leading to your growth and attainment of more wisdom. This gives you a unique perspective and knowledge that is priceless to anyone who might be struggling with a similar set of circumstances. Then there are the coincidences, of course, you realize that these are divine gifts and blessings (or corrections) that all serve as blessed rewards or ways to put you back on the path to your highest and best.

6. Negative News

We are programmed to keep one ear and one eye (if not both of them) leaning on the newsfeed spoon-fed to us by the media, books, films, “reality shows” news coverage, and “live feeds” via the Internet. This exposure to mass media is the main source of disseminating your programming, in addition to and following your public or private schooling, to assure that you become a good citizen, amiable to the control of the powers-that-be which are charged with your control. Their favorite tool for delivering messages and thought patterns that run deep is to strongly associate them and deliver them in a state of fear or danger. Then we become unpaid foot soldiers, spreading the message and monitoring our neighbors by doing the responsible thing with the innocuous, “Did you hear in the news…?”

Expanded Version

As you grow and learn more about how things are not as they are, or how they were presented to you, you develop a sort of Spidey-sense when you’re being exposed to the propaganda and lie(s) promoted by the powers that be, in an effort to distract you from your growth and expansion. The most effective tool used to manipulate you and the masses is fear, and they will use it, exploit and spin anything and everything they can to keep you in a fear-based vibration, because you and everyone else is so much easier to control when you’re in a state of fear and are more likely to believe that you need someone else to keep you safe from the things that you are unable to witness first-hand. The more evolved you become, the less interested you are in propaganda and lies.

7. Love Is…

When you think of love, you’ve been programmed to have certain ideologies associated with love; and this is perfect for the masses. It goes something, like this, the different kinds of love include love for your family and friends, love for fauna and flora, love for your pet, love of one’s country, love for persons, places, and things, and romantic love between two people “in love.” Love initiates within you, your heart, for someone or something outside of yourself.

Expanded Verson

Love is the carrier wave of all energy, it is in everything, throughout all that is or ever was, holds all things together and provides appropriate separation, exists in the absence of anything amidst any void, has no beginning and no end. Even in negative energy, love is there. As you expand you learn to tap into this limitless energy from outside yourself, allow it to envelop all that you are, letting it consume you and flow out to others. You now know that love is not limited to individuals, and your love for individuals changes, as you move away from selfish love to the unconditional forms of love and its expression. Additionally, as you learn how to harness its power, you can learn how to use it to share, heal and be the light to an otherwise dark and thirsty world that longs for the release of this powerful energetic influence.

These are just some of the areas you will notice major shifts of consciousness when you expand and continue to evolve into the highest and best version of yourself.

Be True to Your Calling

Here’s the deal: You’ve come to this planet with a calling. You have a unique purpose, a mission in life featuring your own message that can only be delivered with your unique style and perspective.

Knowing this, you may have done enough work to even have defined your individual purpose, message, passion and mission (PMPM) and know who you are and what you’re supposed to be doing, if you were achieving your highest and best.

Then there is life. Life is full of distractions which can keep you from achieving your highest and best.

This will apply to any calling you have that could make a difference in our world. Why? Because there are people, principalities and powers that do not want to see the world change, and your potential contribution could cause conflict, or slow their roll, even if your PMPM only affected a single life for the better, that one moment could change everything in a heartbeat.

This is why you see yourself bombarded with nearly unlimited opportunities to do anything besides what could put you one step closer toward your sense of purpose and meaning which harkens to you for release.

Let’s face it, we live in a “if it feels good do it” kind of world, and you are attacked in the media and face-to-face by people you know as well as perfect strangers who will stop at nothing to provide you with thousands of exposures to potential opportunities that could distract and/or prevented you from advancing toward your calling.

In terms of being of service to others, there needs to be some hard word, dedication and commitment to your calling, to serve the greater good. It may mean setting aside your own personal desires, those things that make you feel so good, to be able to serve at a greater capacity. Yes, it may take sacrifice, but it is this one point that separates those who talk about what they wish they could do, and those who are actively involved in making a difference. A little selflessness on the behalf of others, or the big picture, goes a long way. St. Paul writes, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves,” in Philippians 2:3.

Your calling must have a higher priority that selfish acts which make you feel good, or even service to others in ways which might prevent you from pursuing your goals to achieve your highest and best. No one person can anything, so remain focused on your mission, and when other situations and circumstances come up, rather than letting these things distract you (as worthy as they might be) step aside and defer to someone else who’s mission it might be. You might have to put aside selfish pursuits to be true to your calling.
Tapping into your heart is almost a necessity in achieving your highest and best. Unlike your brain and emotions, which only seek to protect you and your ego from potential fear-based emotions or perceived potential pain, your heart will always be congruent with your calling.

It’s no surprise if you can’t know how to tap into your heart, which is the most powerful energy source, connection to all life and beyond, because it is no secret that we’re not taught to listen to it, or even validate its power. For if you could, you might realize that our heart is the most powerful tool or weapon on the planet, possibly in the universe, and we all have one. Take some time and find ways to focus on and connect to it, and develop your sense of knowingness exponentially.

How to tap into it, and learn how to hear or feel what your heart is trying to tell you can be complex because it can be a very different process for different people. So, find your own way, experiment and see what works for you.

Stop protesting or being distracted by focusing on things outside of your control. While you may hear about or witness atrocities, find someone else who’s ministry it is to deal with that particular issue and defer to them; you may even be able to offer support, but don’t allow yourself to be taken off your path in doing so.

Watch your tongue as well as your thoughts, if you are saying or thinking negative things about something that is negative, you only add negative energy to it. By protesting, making a stand, or fighting against a certain thing, you actually promote it. Instead, focus on the solution, find someone who is doing the work and support them in the performance of their ministry, without falling victim to the negative whirlpool.

Whatever you do, whether in terms of supporting your own calling, or supporting others in theirs, avoid negative reporting. When you say something negative, especially in this day and age, when everything we do, say, and possibly think, is being recorded and can be used against you later. Having access to negative sound bites can be your undoing, so avoid going there if at all possible. To quote St, Paul again, “Do everything without complaining and arguing so that no one can criticize you. Live clean, innocent lives as children of God, shining like bright lights in a world full of crooked and perverse people,” (Philippians 2:14-16) so, take the high road.

You’re Making a Difference

We’re all making progress on our respective life journeys, and while we’re in the progress, it’s a good idea to take a moment to review where we’ve been and try to get a better idea about where we’re going.

Chances are you’re feeling a strong sense of congruency with how your life is going, you feel like you’re making a contribution, you are feeling good about your life and life as having a positive future, feeling like the world can be a better place, and you’re just one of the people striving to do your part to make it happen. And happiness? You’re so happy, you downplay it to your family and friends because you don’t want to make them feel bad, see how good their lives could be, or think you’re off your rocker… So, you keep a low profile and try to blend in a little.

Nonetheless, when the alarm goes off, you reach over, turn it off and smile, because today, today is going to be another exciting, great day. Woot woot!

That, in itself, is a pretty good indication that you’re making good progress and you’re headed in the right direction. And while most days start so wonderfully, sometimes, just like anyone else, we go through transitions and changes of mood, too. What then?

Sometimes, when we’re trying to push through a personal level, it can take more time than we’d like it to. Let’s say, you had a goal and gave yourself 90 days to achieve it, but when you get to the third month, you realize you’re not as far along as would have liked to have been. What then?

Journaling sounds like a pain in the butt, but everyone that is on a path similar to ours, swears that whenever they hit a bump in the road or are feeling blue, a wandering through the old journal, infuses them with an indestructible resolve and unbound energy to go the distance.

Nonetheless, you got this, because now, when you pass a mirror, you smile because you know you’re good people and you’re so good with that.

You know you’re living a better life when you can’t remember the last time you had a bad day and you’re making changes in your life naturally, without even thinking about it, and you look forward to challenges, rather than stressing over potential trouble.

You know you’re living your best life when you have no fear or reservations about making new friends and expanding your circle of influence, and the way you integrate with them takes on a whole new flavor.

For instance, if you make a mistake, you don’t start looking for someone or something to blame for it, you just accept that it is what it is, and maybe even find humor in it, while looking for the meaning or hidden treasure inside the experience.

What others think about you doesn’t really matter anymore. They can like you, or not, and you don’t feel like you have anything to prove to anyone, and find comfort in doing the things you enjoy and make you feel good, regardless of what others might think, and you’re exercising your right to establish boundaries and use the word, “no.”

And as you are having an impact on those around you and are taking an active part in making the world a better place, you feel really good about the good work that you are doing.

And just in case you didn’t notice, others are taking notice of your good works and are even starting to comment on your change, growth, and contribution.

As you’re in the process of contributing, you are more concerned about the outcome than the preciseness of the execution, for it is better to do, than not to do. If things don’t go exactly as planned, no problem. Either you or someone else will do it differently the next time.

Goal setting just comes naturally and achievement of those goals comes easier as you find yourself more and more in the flow, and you’re not too concerned with the details that may have prevented execution in the past. Procrastination isn’t even on your radar because you’re a mover and shaker.

And you know what? You are making a difference, and you’re an inspiration.

You can do it.

Keep up the good works.

Part of You is Dying

You’re growing, changing, taking responsibility and charge of your life. You’re embracing love, couldn’t feel more powerful, confident, open, honest and vulnerable… then all of a sudden, you feel overcome with an overwhelming feeling of emptiness, sadness, depression or unexpected fatigue.

As you search and review the areas of your life, you can’t seem to identify anything going on to make you feel this way, and you can’t understand why you feel this way.

Don’t worry, this is completely normal as you are expanding and evolving onto a better version of yourself. These unexpected challenges in your personal growth are normal as you are experiencing a vibrational detoxification.

You (your being, the person you are, all the parts of you en masse) are the result of a lifetime of programming which includes toxic thoughts, beliefs, feelings and experiences which have survived and thrived, hidden (sometimes, not so hidden) deep inside you.

As you are actively growing and expanding these deep rooted toxins are struggling for survival. They have so integrated themselves into your life and attached themselves to certain parts of your brain or body, where they have been safely stored for years. Now, they are no longer congruent as you are expanding and evolving and they are not being fed by your energetic attentions. They are shrinking and dying of starvation.

In the toxin’s struggle for survival, they will initiate thoughts and trigger the release of hormones which affect your sense of wellbeing and initiate sensations of negative emotions such as fear, paranoia, depression, or may even cause physical signs of sickness as they are dying off, in a last ditch struggle for survival.

You may find yourself suffering from headaches, even migraines, back pain or other body aches and pain and/or flu-like symptoms as manifestations of the toxin’s effort to distract and crush your hope for continued expansion.

This is a normal part of your evolutionary process, which also indicates a pending successive personal plateau in your expansive process is not far off.

It is always darkest before the dawn, and a new dawn is about to crest your horizon as the new you emerges.

When your negative emotions are running high for no apparent reason, and your’re finding it hard to stay on course, following the path to your new life, you feel as though all your energy reserves have been drained and you are finding it hard to believe you could keep going on,

Persevere

Even if you’re feeling like your decision to take this journey is for not, and you’re experiencing nagging second-thoughts about the person you’re becoming, second-guessing whether the changes you’re making are real or just fanciful imaginative exercises. This is the time to keep going, in the absence of the feelings, of feeling as though you were doing the right thing, to stay on the path of your personal evolution, in stark contrast to the person you were before. That person is dying, and you are shedding the old you, not unlike a snake sheds its skin… Only your old skin doesn’t want to go.

A part of you has become so attached to your previous version of self, casting it aside seems like a painful separation, casting off, expulsion, a death of sorts, as you are dying to self. This is the time to keep going, even if you feel like you just can’t go on, stay the course.

But how can I, when I’m just not feeling it?

Keep going anyway. If you keep doing good things, only exposing yourself to positive information, media and influences, finding ways to think food thoughts, even if you’re not feeling it; stay on track, and that part of you that is protesting and struggling for survival will die off in the battle of old you vs. new you.

After the new you has survived this victorious process of growth and change, get ready. Something so powerfully new and amazing is waiting to take its place as the newer version of you expands and grows even more.