Why Do Opposites Attract?

When you met, you thought you had so much in common, as you spend more and more time together you discover you have less and less in common. As a matter of fact, the more you think about it… You and he/she are total opposites. You’re feeling the urge to cut and run, and your friends are, like, “Hell yeah.” You can’t help but wonder, “Why do opposites attract?”

So much attention is focused on trying to find similarities in relationships these days that the idea of celebrating the differences would seem ludicrous at best.

In the most successful relationships (not the most manageable or easiest couplings) partners play off each other and the more different you are, the more potential for growth and expansion together.

After having unsuccessfully finding yourself engaged in a relationship with an opposite, you might think, “Who would sign up for that?” I mean, it’s a full-on cluster… and regardless of how tragic it may have been, you’re likely to say (if not now, then later), “but the good times were really good.”

It’s these good times that are indicators of something far superior in the realm of possibilities in the not too far distant future if you’re willing to do the work.

You might think that being a pair of lovebirds would be far superior to being a hawk and a prairie dog trying to manage a relationship. A pair of lovebirds can only expect to experience a certain degree of excitement or growth due to their similarities while the opposites can celebrate their differences, and have the most exciting opportunities for evolutionary advancement in the perfect push/pull balance.

These differences substantiate the idea that your partner should be a mirror for you to reflect who you really are. This feels like an insult or assault, at first, until you look inside and find that your response is tied to an aspect of you, hidden deep within, which is looking for resolution.

“But,” you interrupt, “We’re just too different.”

The fact that you’re in this relationship of opposites is in divine order. This is your opportunity to really move your love and your life to the next level.

If so, you ask,

“How could we possibly get along?”

It’s not easy. It’s a challenge, an opportunity, and a blessing. Your opposite person is the perfect person to help you expand and grow into the highest and best version of yourself. In order to do so, you must be willing to put forth some effort in getting to know your opposite, what makes him or her tick, what sets them off and what makes them connect deeply and be willing to open themselves fully, bearing all of their vulnerabilities, while having faith that you will protect him or her throughout this process. And the same goes for you.

One of you may be loud, the other quiet. One of you seeks the limelight, the other the safety of blending into the audience. One might like to go out, the other more likely to want to stay in. While this couple would be an all-out train wreck in social circles, singles sites, and matchmakers, these two have the makings of the most magnificent marriage.

Why Do Opposites Attract?

We don’t just get to be the way we are overnight. No, we are the result of a lifetime of trial and error. When you were very young, a baby, you either learned that being loud was the way to get the attention you sought, or you discovered that being quiet provided you with your desired response, and so your personality and relationship skills grow from there, making you the kind of person you are today.

You are attracted to the type of person who would complete you, who can assist you in resolving the issues of your past, and find that higher form of love which was in you before you were born, that divinely powerful and unfailing love for yourself and others. The perfect person for you to go on this journey with would be quite unlike you, if not your total opposite. The highest version of you will attract this type of mate because it longs to evolve in truth and love.

Everything is energy, and energy can be expressed and manipulated either by being amplified or constricted, as exemplified in extroverts or introverts.

Even though you are an amazing person, just the way you are, can you say you have achieved your highest and best? Could a better life be waiting for you?

Celebrating your differences and creating sacred relational space for your opposite to thrive (or retreat to) comes from being open, aware, vulnerable and compassionate. Yes, it’s a give-and-take, and make room for a bit of stress or strain, for nothing amazingly magnificent comes from no effort, no commitment, no discomfort, no work.

By aligning yourself with an opposite and moving forward, you begin to realize that what appeared to be problematic obstacles, were really only the catalyst for creative tension leading the way to evolutionary expansion.

Over time, as you both experience metamorphosis throughout the tenure of your relationship, you do find yourselves in a synchronous relationship in harmony, deeper love, connection, and intimacy, if you continue to do the work.

Here you are, on the brink of utter amazing possibilities and you feel like breaking weak and turning tail to run in the opposite direction, which what you really should do is to draw closer, closer, and even more closer because you really do want the best this life has to offer.

Sure, you could settle for easy or doable, but something inside you wants something more than mediocrity in this life.

If your relationship looks like a disaster in the making, think about it and search inside, and ask yourself,

“Is this potentially your best hook up ever?”

So, buckle up buttercup, because you’re in for the ride of your life if you dare to take on embracing your opposite and forging your new path together into a glorious future which lies ahead.

Non-compatibility in Relationships

What are you looking for in an authentic, loving, romantic partner?

You might be surprised to find out what you’re really looking for is the love that you feel like you didn’t receive from your (usually opposite sex) parent, and on a deeper level the love we seek is that akin to the love we felt prior to being born.

On the surface, a quick overview of your search for love and the people you align yourself with might have you thinking you’re always attracting the wrong kind or person, that people change after you get to know them better, and that you often discover that while you thought you had so much in common in the beginning, the two of you are complete opposites.

Your friends might try to console you with, “Not to worry. It’s just that your picker is broken,” reinforcing the idea that you unbeknownst to you are unconsciously selecting bad apples from the barrel.


What if…?

What if everything is in divine order and the type of person you’re attracted is exactly the type of person you need in your life to complete your personal cycle of love, to heal from the love seeking you did as a child, and to evolve into a far greater lover, expanding your horizons and moving to the next level of enlightened love?

What if the people you’re attracting, who appear to be completely incompatible are actually the perfect person you need in your life to bring out the very best in you?

And if this were true, you would be the same for him or her, just as they are for you; the key to unlock your highest and best.

Emotional wounds from childhood leave you wanting the love you failed to receive in your youth in adulthood. You don’t know why you’re attracting someone similar to your parents but this is exactly what you need to make it right, heal those old wounds, to receive the love that you desire and deserve.

In this present age, we focus so much on compatibility, which is terribly convenient in exercising a relationship where the value of growth and change seems difficult or like too much work to bother with. The more alike you are, easier it is to get along, live together and appreciate each other.

It sounds like a dream come true compared to your past experiences where you’ve thought that you were with the wrong person and just could not find a way to make it work out for you or your partner, and if you could, the cost would just be too great.

True love, the love that comes from above, dwells within us but it is hidden beneath a cloud of bad feelings, let downs, and life experiences through which we could barely know it is there, if at all.

You try so hard to love in an authentic way, the way you long to be loved, but you feel unworthy, are confident that you will fall short, so you sabotage your relationship, allow it to fail, in an effort to keep yourself safe from exposing too much of yourself, as an act of self-preservation. This disengagement is a source of great anxiety within you.

Love’s connection with another person is a part of who we are. This connection one-to-another in an authentic intimate relationship is what we seek as we try to recapture the pure love we felt prior to birth. To be suddenly aware of the separation and unable to make it work, could leave one feeling as though true love is not possible.

If it is your destiny to find this evasive love, and if it is the only reason you have come here to live your life on this planet, then you might even think that life itself may not be worth living at all.

In this way, life and love are deeply embedded in us as humans. It is difficult to separate one from the other (though many of us choose to maintain this separation, ignoring the true love component our life’s work).

In human form, there is no way to manifest the original true connected love we experienced prior to birth but we can come very close if we are willing to learn and grow, leaving behind the shadows from our past and move on into the light of love.

Unless you settle for compatibility as your only criteria for selecting your life mate, you will continue to be offered the opportunity to meet the exact type of people who can assist you on this sacred journey of love and life.

Marriage is Good Medicine


There is no doubt that marriage is good medicine. The statistics reinforce the fact that happily married couples have the market cornered of improved health, wellness and longevity when compared to their cohabitating contemporaries. It stands to reason, if you want to be healthier, live longer and prolong living a better life, you might want to consider getting married because marriage is good medicine.

12 Health Benefits of Marriage

1. More rested sleep
2. Look younger
3. Enjoy a greater sense of safety and security
4. Feel better, healthier, have more energy
5. Improved immune system for fighting disease
6. Less likely to suffer from stress or depression
7. Fewer cases of psychiatric disorders
8. More likely to quickly recover and survive surgical procedures
9. Have fewer strokes and heart attacks
10. Less likely to get cancer
11. Married cancer patients more likely to extend life or survive
12. Enjoy longer lifespan than cohabitators

And for men, who get a bad rap for being commitment-phobic and less interested in tying the knot, there is even more good news for those who do, as we know married men earn more money, and have better sex lives than their cohabitating peers, which also contributes to having higher sense of safety and security, self-esteem, and increased physical and mental health.

You might ask, “How is all this is possible?”

Scientists have been hard at work to uncover the science behind the health benefits of marriage for years, and if you look at the science behind it all, you, too, could only conclude that the fact remains, marriage is good medicine.


Why is Marriage So Healthy?

The answer to, “Why is marriage so healthy?” is multifaceted, as you might have guessed.

For those among the religious or spiritual communities, they have been staunch proponents of marriage and maintain that the taking of sacred vows increases spiritual connection, and that this greater connection between two committed people is responsible for greater health and wellness, while strengthening the God-connection, attracting, even more, blessings (or some variant thereof).

Scientists take a different approach. The science bears out that people who have entered into the marital contract, and have what would be referred to as “good marriages” have higher levels of the healthy and happy hormones, and less of the harmful ones.

What’s wrong with living together?

And you might also ask, “Why is a marriage so much better than living together?”

Scientists maintain the distinction of good vs. bad marriages is important because if you are in a “bad marriage,” one that is highly dysfunctional (though all marriages have some degree of dysfunction) or abusive, you do not enjoy the health benefits of marriage and it may even promote ill health, greater risk of disease and higher mortality rates.

In this case, you would be better off in a reasonably convenient relationship living together than to be in a bad marriage, and that is probably why you see fewer marriages among our younger generations these days, for who of us has not seen someone we care about go through a horrible marriage and divorce? (Some of us, even in the first-person.) Such a person might ask, “Who in their right mind would willingly sign up for such pain and misery?”

There is no doubt there is a reasonable risk upon the entering of any agreement or contract, especially a long-standing one. Banks will tell you there is a certain amount of risk in someone’s ability to make a 5-year commitment to buy a car or even more risk in a 30-year commitment to pay for a home, but a commitment for a lifetime? “Until death do we part” seems unfathomable.

Harville Hendrix has suggested that the distinguishing factor which draws the line between happy marrieds and happy cohabitators is ambivalence. Hendrix says, “If you’re not committed, then anxiety is associated with your level of lack of commitment. When that ambivalence goes away, the anxiety goes down, and the chemicals begin to flow and all the good things that we apparently are, happen as a result of that intimate bond.”

Nonetheless, something magical happens when two are joined in holy matrimony, whether it is due to an increased spiritual connection or lack of ambivalence, they do live happier, healthier and longer lives than those who cohabitate.

All the reasons may not be as black-and-white as we’d like them to be, yet couples who are married continue to live better lives than those who live together, and they enjoy all the health benefits indicating marriage is good medicine.

In Love and Business

Couples in a loving relationship may find their way into a scenario where, as they are growing, changing, and expanding, they find themselves seeking self-sufficiency as they allow for more abundance in their lives by inviting entrepreneurship to join them on their journey. While financial opportunities abound, we all love the idea of doing what you love and allowing cash flow to be created doing so, how can this affect the relationship in love and business?

When your career is outside the home, it’s easy to come home, disconnect from the daily routine, unwind, and relax because there’s a clear separation between work and home. For the couple who is engaging in business together, this can be more of a challenge as you are undoubtedly going to be engaged in the work of running your business as it is part of, or overflows into, your home life.

As you may have guessed, these people find their way into my practice as they pursue their desires as they have proclaimed, “I want to do something with my life.”

Here are some ideas to successfully navigate your relationship in love and business.

1 Love Comes First

You must remember that while you may be partners in business, you are partners in love first and foremost. Your love has priority over all business activities. Make this your primary component in your values as a couple.

No matter what comes up, your partner comes first. You each must have the faith and assuredness that you have each other’s back in any situation, circumstance, or challenge you might face.

2 Create Space for Business

If not physical space, then at least emotional space. Create a state of consciousness where you conduct business matters and have discussions about the detail regarding business. This space does not need to remain completely devoid of romance, as there can be room for free-flowing, but keep your sacred love space separated (no heavy business details in the love space).

When your energy needs to be focused on business challenges you can go to this place and dissect all the components and examine the details without the fear that this might encroach upon your love space.

3 Trust

You need to trust your partner impeccably, but also you need to trust your business. You need to allow the business to be a tool, a vehicle, to teach you, to encourage growth, and expansion in just the right way that is perfect for you and your partner.

Being in business together can create many opportunities for learning, growing, and expanding together. Trust that all is in divine order.

4 Listen

Listen to your partner as well as that still small voice from within. Your partner, as well as your higher self, will often have unexpected clues to opportunities or obstacles that you might be unaware of or unable to see from your vantage point in the business trenches.

Be open and willing to listen, even if at first blush the idea or concept presented might be incongruent with your current thought processes. Don’t just listen to the words, but look through the eyes of love for the deeper meaning, try to hear the underlying message which might be trying to alert you about a particular opportunity or obstacle.

5 Review in Love

After you’ve had time to focus on business in the business space (remember, this doesn’t have to be physical space) you can retreat to your sacred love space. Agree to leave the heavy details behind, relax, and review the events, just as if you’d come home from work to discuss your day.

In this safe and sacred space, you might be given insight that could not be seen from the business space. Here, new ideas, dreams, and desires for the business may emerge, as well as an increased capacity for creative problem solving from this alternate vantage point.

6 Celebrate

If not at the end of every day, then certainly as often as possible celebrate. Make it a part of your strategy in love and business, relax, or go out to dinner, take a day trip, or whatever suits your fancy to celebrate wins (even the most minute ones) and take time to enjoy the goodness of having the freedom to be your own boss, set your own hours (and remember, this is a business expense).

You are entering a new phase and higher quality of life. If you can survive and maintain a high love vibration, health, wellness, and as much peace of mind as you can manage, you can enjoy true freedom, including financial freedom, if you remain in love, open and undeniably supportive of each other throughout this process.

Lasting Love Secret Ingredient

While trust is the most important foundational component of a successful love relationship, there is a secret ingredient in the chemistry of love which effectively predicts the long-lasting nature of a growing love relationship between two people.

If you want to have a great love that will last the test of time you must possess tolerance. Tolerance is the acceptance that we are all in a constant state of change. Just as you desire people (more specifically your partner) to love and accept you, wherever you are in your station of life, you must have both the willingness and the ability to love and accept your partner, whatever state or condition he or she is in at any time.

This is not a ploy or a game to manipulate your relationship, authentically loving and acceptance can only initiate in the heart space, and as you may have guessed the love and acceptance must start with you. You are a vibrational being vibrating at a specific frequency, you cannot give what you do not possess for yourself. So to truly be tolerant, you must first fully love and accept yourself, your history, your physiological makeup, everything about you, on the surface and deep within.

You must be in love with and full acceptance of you, your ever-changing emotional (at time unflattering) states, such as sadness, anger, and fear. You must be aware and know your ego and your relationship with it.

From this authentic place of loving and accepting yourself, aligning you as a person with that greater and higher part of you, or spirit, you can bestow love and acceptance to others from the heart with integrity. You are now able to better become one with the world, or the people who inhabit it, both paired and universally.


That sets the bar high but you have been called to this level of love and understanding as part of your metamorphosis and evolution, otherwise, you will have continued difficulty in connecting and communicating with your partner(s), especially when things are less than buoyant.

This concept is not so far removed from you that you cannot comprehend it because you yearn for this love and acceptance yourself. You want to be loved just the way you are without being judged or made fun of. Isn’t that right?

Then, embracing yourself, then allowing others to be as they are, while you love and accept them, just as you would like to be, is the next logical step.

While this applies to you, how much more so should this apply to the one other person who you love, and who loves you in return?

When your partner does or says something that makes you feel intolerant, as if he or she did or said something wrong, disrespectful, uncaring or even hurt your feelings. The first place to look, is not at your partner, but within. This is a surefire indicator that you have unresolved issues bubbling up inside of you, from the past, most likely from the distant past, which has been brewing and gaining pressure over time, looking for a place to escape.

While lashing out at your partner is an effective way to release the pressure, not only is it unglamorous, but you are better than that. You deserve better reducing your relationships to varying states of love and fear. You deserve relief and release of those things within that hold you back and drive a wedge between you and someone you love.

I am not saying that you shouldn’t have a safe, sacred space to fully express your thoughts and emotions, even if they are negative)



It’s Time for Me to Leave My Partner

Yes, no doubt, you’re feeling like you can’t take one more minute and that, “It’s time for me to leave my partner.” It may be well to call it quits if your relationship is completely dysfunctional and filled with abuse, then, by all means, you have to do what you have to do. But you might be jumping the gun if you feel like your connection is waning, you’re feeling like you have less and less in common every day, you’re feeling like you and your partner are growing apart on different paths, and if you’re just not feeling the love anymore, then you might be thinking, “It’s time for me to leave my partner.”

When nothing could be further from the truth.

In most cases, when two people are feeling like they are growing apart and feeling like calling it quits, this could be the worst thing you could do, if you are on an expansive path of personal growth and/or a progressive spiritual journey.

On the surface, that sounds whacked, but you must know that this feeling between two people is a marker, a huge blinking neon sign that begs you to, “Dare to Love More!” This feeling is the gateway through which you must pass to make it to the next level in your love vibration.

It is very likely that you and your partner are not as far apart as you might think, only that you are expressing yourselves in different ways, which should be celebrated, not eradicated.

Sure, your growth and expansion may look different, but you are both growing, changing, and expanding together, even though you might be using different distinctions, words, and phrases in an effort to communicate your expansion one to the other.

Let’s say the woman loves to practice meditation and yoga, while the man would rather play a team sport and also engage in watching team sports on television. You might think this to be an incredible mismatch.

What we have here is a failure to communicate.

Even though the symptoms look quite different, and the words and phrases sound very different, both members of this relationship can actually be growing in spirit and truth even though it looks quite different.

You might be surprised to know that team sports are very spiritual, and when athletes are engaged in team sports, they often get themselves into a spiritual state commonly referred to as “The Zone.” In this state, the brains of the teammates can co-create, communicate and access source energy, not unlike one might in meditation, prayer or in a group spiritual practice. This state of spiritual elevation is the same, though it looks very different, and it was accessed in very different ways.

When you are feeling as though things are getting difficult, or not feeling right, this is a clear indication not to look at your mate, to blame your partner, or look at your relationship as deteriorating. No, this is your sacred challenge to look inside yourself and realize this is a divine invitation to dare to love more and expand yourself.

If you feel as though your partner is annoying you, or up to no good, ask yourself why you feel that way?

The highest form of love is unconditional love, which usurps, “I love you no matter what.” Could you dare to entertain the idea of loving your partner unconditionally? This is your true calling. This is what this life is all about.

But it doesn’t start with your partner. In fact, it has nothing to do with your partner at all, except for your partner is provided to you as a tool, a mirror, reflecting back those areas where you have unresolved issues with you. Again,

Why do I feel that way?

Why does this or that drive you crazy?

If you’re doing meditation and yoga, it’s because this is necessary for you to grow and expand. It is clear that your partner doesn’t need to do those things. Your partner is managing his or her growth and expansion in a completely different way, and that’s okay.

It’s likely your partner has been trying to tell you this over a period of time but you’ve been able to understand him or her due to the variance in vocabulary. It’s as if you’re saying the same thing but in different languages, it’s no wonder it was difficult for you to understand, though the misunderstanding is understandable.

Maybe it’s time to listen with your heart and not be so quick to pass judgment. In fact, to do so would be hypocrisy. No one path is more right or wrong than another, and to suggest that your partner must grow, expand and express him or herself in the same manner as you is nothing less than spiritual arrogance.

There are many ways to achieve connection, you must allow everyone to find their own way and not condemn them for doing it in the manner which suits them best at any particular time and place.

Your divine mission of love is to love yourself first, then to the degree that you are able to love yourself, you can love others. You must love yourself for who you are, all your weakness, idiosyncrasies, all your missteps, and failure, as well as all your gifts, talents, and strengths.

Your challenge is to grow in love, to love yourself unconditionally, then, and only then, will you be able to love your partner, and others unconditionally.

You love, and allow them to be free, free to be whoever they may be, freely expressing themselves in the world which is perfect and different for each and every human being on this planet.

If you dare.

Raise Your Love Vibration Meditation

You already know you have a sacred call to raise your love vibration. You have a standard frequency that you vibrate at, and after you’ve either experienced an increase in love vibration or a decrease, you will return to that place which is called a setpoint, much like the temperature setting on a thermostat. To change that base setting, you need to raise your vibration to love and above.

If you will join me on this raise your love vibration meditation, you will no longer be locked-in to your previous base frequency for love. You will be able to perform this little exercise and raise your love vibration at any time.

Thanks to my friends at Heart Math, they’ve discovered that the heart is far more powerful and intelligent than modern science could have ever imagined, though they are becoming more and more aware of the heart’s significance far overpowering the ability of the brain’s ability to process information, for the heart is intuitive and connected to the energy which is the source of all life.

Using this technique, you can raise your vibration in less than two minutes any time you want. You can do it with your eyes open or closed, although I think the effect is greater and runs deeper if you are in a place where you can do this with your eyes closed. Try the rise your love vibration along with me, and see if you don’t feel the difference now.

There are three steps.

The first step is to place the palm of your hand over your heart and if it’s safe and/or appropriate close your eyes. Just holding the open palm of your hand over your heart releases the love hormone, Oxytocin, throughout your body. This is the hormone which is released when we are deeply connected, bonded in love with another. As you are listening to my voice, Oxytocin is surging through your blood veins delivering healing, soothing love, throughout your whole body.

Step two is imagining that you are breathing in and out through your heart. Using the most powerful communication tool in your body, your imagination, see and feel your incoming breath going into the area of your heart, and as you exhale see and feel your breath being released from the area of your heart. Notice as you are breathing in and out of your heart that you are already feeling an increased love vibration. You are more calm and have a greater sense of peace. Some people feel other sensations, like the warmth of being snuggled in a warm blanket, feel happier, or feel as though their energy is expanding.

The third and final step is to inhale love, compassion, and peace. With every incoming breath, you breathe in love, compassion, and that peaceful, easy feeling into your heart, as your heart sends this love, compassion, and peace throughout your entire biological system, you can feel greater love, compassion, and peace permeating your being. You exiting breaths are just a normal exhale, but as you continue to inhale, you are breathing in, even more, love, compassion, and peace.

And as we wrap up our heart meditation, breathe in one last deep breath of love, compassion, and peace, and as you breathe out you can open your eyes and remove your hand from your heart.

Notice how calm, centered and full of love you are in this moment. All this in less than two minutes.

Now, this meditation did not only raise your love vibration, it also strengthens your immune system for hours.

So, you no doubt have experienced some physiological changes and achieved a sense of centeredness and wellness in just these short few minutes.

To achieve lasting effects and to raise your love vibration setpoint to a new level, do this exercise for five minutes three-times-a-day over the next three weeks, and note that your immune system will be boosted for up to six hours, every time you perform the raise your vibration meditation.

You did this, and you can do it at any time in any place. It is quick, easy, painless and doesn’t cost you anything, yet it is a powerful tool to boost your immune system, raise your love vibration, and promote your personal expansion and further evolution.

Feeling SAD Seasonal Affective Disorder

As the daylight hours shrink so might your optimistic outlook on life. As the summer months fade it is common for your energy levels to decrease welcoming back your old friend (note, sarcasm intended) seasonal affective disorder, or SAD. Its affects vary from mild to severe, but it’s quite common for yu to get hit with a case of the blues as the seasons change.

You may just be sensitive to the seasons or you could have a psychological anchor to something from you past which took place at a particular time of year that prompts your singing the blues every time the environment resembles the time of the season that something that caused a prolonged sadness, disappointment, loss or other tragic life challenge.

Rates of depression generally increase reaching the heights (the number of depressed individuals increase while their healthy states of minds decrease) of blueness right around the holidays. This we know, if you can hang on, you can make it through this period of time when you’re not feeling so exuberant about life.

Besides depression, other markers of seasonal affective disorder include trouble sleeping (which could range from not being able to sleep to sleeping a lot but never feeling rested), lack of energy, and your feelings can be “right there” having you on the verge of emotional outbreak or upset just waiting for the slightest triggering.

Other symptoms include weight gain due to increased carb intake, as well as other tendencies to self-medicate. Also, when you’re not feeling on your game, your family and social relationships can suffer and as your immune systems declines, you are more susceptible to seasonal illness, cold and flu.

Your life has seasons, just like the world where we live does, but you don’t have to let it get to you. First of all, if you’re on a track of doing certain things to make your life better and have made commitments to yourself or someone else to do things on a regular basis, by all means, keep doing them.

There are things you can do to improve your mood to help give you the energy you need, like getting outside. I know, it’s not nice, like it was during the summer, but find joy in getting out, taking a brisk walk and breathe the fresh air. Let it flow throughout your circulatory system. This is good work. Bundle up according to the weather conditions. It will feed your cells and you will feel better (even if it is a little less pleasant than a summer stroll).

There is a lot to be said about not being cooped up inside, so if you’re feeling restricted, then un-restrict yourself and get out of the house. Go to the (I know, if you can still find one) library, go “window shopping” (you don’t have to buy anything). There are lots of places you can peruse which are open to the public and may be accessed at no charge.  Take out some time to visit with family and friends.

Put yourself on a positive track by setting up regular visits with a counselor, coach, therapist, or member of clergy, who can help you turn this difficult time into a masterful piece of work, that will make you feel better, and you’ll be proud knowing that you will have something positive to reflect on at a time when you might have rather felt like hibernating.

Find a public service organization or charity you could support by volunteering. In this way you stave off your emotional lull, create an opportunity to meet new people, and make the world a better place. Amen.


Private Investigations Behind the Scenes

I have a client who is a private investigator. He has seen and heard it all. Even though he’s seen, heard, documented and recorded things which are normally unheard or unseen, in many cases, he has no idea what part the data he’s collected plays in the overall scope of the situation at hand, or what’s going on inside the heads of the players.

Private investigations is a fascinating line of work, but it takes a special type of person to stay in this line of work for very long. My client does a very good job of not taking anything personally, or engaging in any hypotheses about what the data he’s collected means. His function is only to collect data and report it.

While his work is not as glamorous as what might be depicted in books, movies, and teleplays, he does have quite an array of gadgetry to assist his surveillance efforts. He has told me about some of them, and they sound quite effective. This is the kind of information that anyone who is even slightly paranoid does not want to hear. Even my mind followed the train of thought which considered if this person has tools like that, what must the government have?

His business is focused on three main target markets, insurance, family, and business. It is not uncommon for his data collection to radically change the lives of those who have either retained his services and/or those who have been the subjects of his work. Even so, he is able to keep his mind from wandering or extrapolating any information he might gather, to him it is only data.

I have always been fascinated by people’s different perspectives and points of view. What might mean one thing to one person might have a completely different meaning for someone else, and things we witness first-hand are rarely as they seem at first blush.

Though we are in different fields of work, we both find ourselves working with families in the area of relationships. As you can imagine, our perspectives on relationships vary widely, even though our work may focus on the deepest, darkest parts of a relationship in trouble, our methods are on opposite ends of the spectrum.

Regardless of the method, the key to a longstanding relationship is founded in trust; for if there is no trust, then there is no foundation on which to build a relationship that might expect any form of longevity. Most relationships today are based more on convenience, where one or both parties ask themselves, “What am I getting from this?” While they are getting what they want from the relationship, it is tolerable. If they cease to get what they want, the relationship is disposable.

My relationship work focuses on couples in love, seeking greater connection, love, and personal growth. Relationships, like this, must be founded on trust and mutual respect, not based on one partner (or both) asking “what’s in it for me?” The parties involved in the most successful relationships are asking, “What can I do for us?” Or, even better,

“How can I be the best I can be for me, and offer everything that I have for you and your best interests so that we can grow together and love each other even more?”

Wow. That’s an approach to a relationship that is empowering, uplifting, and brings a solemn tear to my eye when I am able to witness a couple engaged at that level of love.

While trust is so important in a relationship, it can wane over time. Not to worry, there is hope that trust and the love associated with it can be regained, and grow even more. With respect to my PI client, I would not suggest hiring a private investigator if there is to be any hope of rebuilding trust in a relationship.

Everyone is entitled to some form of privacy, and while I don’t know about how all investigators conduct their work, but if you’re under the type of surveillance conducted by my PI client, you have no privacy.

Every relationship needs to establish boundaries and what works for one couple may not work for the next. As much as we’d like to believe that we all could subscribe to a set of rules which apply to every relationship, it just is not practical, unless you don’t mind being socially herded like sheep.

True love honors and respects that everyone is unique and keenly individual, and in a relationship which supports the highest form of love, it is not about what you can do and what you can’t do. No, it’s about,

“What can I do for you?”

Want to know more about true love? Consider attending an Awakening to True Love Workshop near you.

I Want to Do Something with My Life

Many people spend the majority of their life not knowing who they are, not realizing they came to this planet with a divine assignment. I have been so blessed to have had an awareness of my unique and solid purpose, message, passion, and mission which has led me on an incredible journey as I have been answering my call to help people achieve their highest and best since high school.

No matter what twists and turns were there in my life, I stayed congruent with my sacred calling, which takes on different forms from time to time, but always boils down to the original underlying theme of helping people achieve their highest and best.

In doing so, I attract people to work with who have come to the point in their life where they are saying,

I Want to Do Something with My Life

When I meet people who want to work with me (and many call on me due to my specific skillsets and special abilities) it is incumbent upon me to be responsible to my calling when approached by someone who may not be a good match for my area of ministry.

While I talk to or enter into an exchange with someone, I am listening for those keywords that resonate with my calling. Invariably the words and phrases they use are similar to, if not precisely,

I Want to Do Something with My Life

Which is not to be confused with, “I need help with my life,” or, “I don’t know who I am,” or even, “I want a better life.” While these are issues and patterns that show up when I am working with my clients (which could include any challenges one might face in life along the way) the key component I am looking for is that of doingness.

It is not enough to want something, you must actually be willing to do something about what you want. If you are willing to do the work, then let’s roll up our sleeves and do this thing together, and I will march alongside you in lockstep fashion to help you achieve your highest and best, whatever that might mean for you.

Regardless of your age, color, or creed, there is something inside you that yearns for expression, making a contribution to the local community, the community at large, or the world. Considering your own mortality, you might like to leave behind something, proof you were here, that your life had meaning.

We are so blessed to be able to have lived this life, it just doesn’t seem right to take it for granted and not want to leave something behind, something that could possibly make the world a better place is some (even if small) way.

Ever wonder why you feel this urge?

It’s because you came to this world with a calling, a purpose, message, passion, and mission specifically fashioned for you and your life. And you knew exactly what it was, what you were sent here to do, from the moment you were able to think. Now, later in life, you still feel the calling, but you can’t figure out why, and you ask, “If I have such a calling,”

Why don’t I know?

Unfortunately, society and social programming (including parents, other family members, friends, teachers, role models, mentors, the government, and the legal system) has programmed you not to wonder about such things, and if you do… well, that would just be too silly or nonsensical to even dignify with any logical response.

Still, as human beings continue to evolve and the lifeforce inside us continues to grow and emerge, the social programming is becoming less effective. Not a problem for the powers who want to keep you from evolving, their tactic to prevent your evolution is to flood your mind with so much entertainment, information, news, and data, that you couldn’t possibly have time nor the attention to have an original thought, let alone to get in touch with that inner, most sacred, part of you which longs to commune with you, see your life come to fruition, and have meaning.

You’re too busy.

You don’t have the time, nor the resources to even conceive of such a thing as to look for your life having meaning. What it is is what it is, and that must suffice. You lived a good life, you were not a bad person, and you did the best you could with what you have, and God bless you for that.

Still, you can hear the second hand on the clock ticking and wondering if there’s something more… There’s that still small voice calling… and unfortunately, you don’t know when you will no longer have the chance.

A dear friend and former mentor came to me and said,

I Want to Do Something with My Life

This is someone I’d looked up to admired throughout much of my life, as we worked together in the ministry right out of high school. He had a wonderful life, a successful business, and he was revered as an expert by many, still, he felt as though something was missing. So, with my help, we set out to have him write and publish a book.

I was holding his freshly finished manuscript in my hands when I received the call that he had passed away.

You never know when your time is going to run out. We all leave something behind, and we will continue to live in the memories of the people whose lives we have touched, and we may leave our mark on social media, or in other ways when our time has come.

You might even be honored as a hero in memoriam, like Aaron, who left us from his post in Afghanistan at a mere twenty-years-old. He left behind hundreds of people who knew and adored him, as well as some of his adventures as documented on social media and the Internet. We didn’t know, he didn’t know, no one really knows, until the time has come.

The fact remains, if there is still breath in you, there is still hope that you can discover, connect, and fulfill your purpose, message, passion, and mission, if you dare.

According to the legal community, “If it isn’t documented, it didn’t happen.” Shouldn’t your life be documented?

Think about it…

Could you have lived the life you have lived, if it wasn’t for the benefit of others?

No. Every breath you’ve taken, every step you have taken, has led you to this point in time, and if you are ready, you are saying with the rest of us,

I Want to Do Something with My Life

What will you do about it?