Category: Blog

Client Refuses to Do the Work

If you’re a practicing Life Coach you are going to run into the client who is going to be underperforming. For whatever reason, the client is not fulfilling their end of the bargain in the coaching relationship. What can you do when your client refuses to do the work?

All coaches should have a given specialization, and as part of the coaching agreement, your client agrees to do the work necessary to achieve their goals and/or continued personal and professional growth.

You may notice at some time in your coaching when a particular client reaches a point or enters into a nonproductive phase. Several sessions have passed with no change, and your client seems to have no motivation or commitment to follow through on their end of the bargain. Sure, they don’t have any problem paying for the sessions, but you’re feeling like you’re not being faithful to your commitment to your own calling or mission.

Do I love my clients? Yes. Am I going to do the work for them? No.

Here are 5 steps to consider when your client refuses to do the work

1. Refer Your Client Elsewhere

The client’s needs may have turned away from your specialty and they have found themselves on another path, at least for the moment, or all together. For instance, if I am a Business Coach and have a business client who has committed to increasing their business, and we’ve made good, continued progress until the client’s entering this phase, maybe it’s time to either change our agreement, or refer them to another coach who specializes in the focus that seems to occupy their attention as of late.

Referring him or her is not that difficult for me because I share my Olympia Life Coach practice with many other practitioners. So, it is easy for me to say something like, “I see your life focus has changed while your attention is focused more on your relationship than your business. How about I refer you one of my associates, a Relationship Coach who specializes in the area with which you are now concerned? When you have completed your work with him (or her), you can come back to me when you are ready to focus again on your business.”

For me, it’s important to stay focused on clients with dreams and goals who are willing and able to take action, moving through the process, as necessary, whereby I assist them in achieving their highest and best, if I am to remain true to my own calling. Of course, if they meet with a challenge and they are on top of it, I can shift my focus in the moment, to overcome a persistent challenge, but if they are going to tarry there for long, I am more likely to refer them to a specialist.

2. Reaffirm Commitment to Accountability

It might be a good idea to remind the client about what they sought you out for, again directing them to their initial service agreement, call to action, and performance-based accountability. As a coach, your primary method of operation is to encourage clients to set their goals and keep them accountable for taking the steps necessary to do their part.

While they are having their attention focused away from their own work (that specific work which they contracted you to assist them with) they might suggest that you accept additional compensation for helping them pick up the slack, or perform their part (doing their homework) on their behalf. This would be a good time to reaffirm that is not your responsibility to do their work for them, that is their job. They must be held accountable in keeping their end of the bargain.

Having this discussion might be just what it takes to get them back on track.

3. Review Their File

As your client’s accountability partner, you will have records to use as proof of their nonperformance over the last X number of sessions. While you appreciate their willingness to pay you for being their sounding board, this is not your primary function. Certainly, you want to be empathetic, encouraging, and open. You want to share the details of their personal life, especially if it is interfering with their follow-through and progress toward their goals. While you may be able to get them over the hump for approaching unforeseen challenges that may not be directly related to the performance of their coach, this is a powerful service to offer your client ensuring they do not get waylaid by obstacles that would otherwise impede their progress, but this is not your primary service.

Showing them their consistent lack of action based on your notes may be enough to get them back on track (which reinforces your commitment to keeping adequate records). After all, you are their accountability partner, right? Then it’s up to you to hold them accountable.

4. Set a New Goal

Your client can choose from a couple of options if they are to continue as your coaching client, those options would be to

1. Reinstate the previous task, and set a new date for achieving the task that was missed. Although before agreeing to do this, make them think it through answering questions like,
a. What day will you do it
b. How much time will it take, and
c. Will you have all the tools necessary to accomplish it?
2. Set a new goal or task to complete prior to the next session

Setting an entirely new goal may result in trimming down the agreed upon action to be taken making it more attainable for your client during a period of time when they are not on the top of their game. It’s better to make a little progress than no progress at all.

If that doesn’t work,

5. Final Review

The following session will be a review of your client’s agreement and their inability to follow-through with their end of the bargain. You have already attempted to lower the bar of expectation and renegotiate the original agreement to accommodate for their current distractions.

This will be the final review of their agreements and nonperformance based on your notes.

If they are still unable to be true to their own commitment to their own program for personal or professional growth, then severing the relationship might be in order, either for the interim, until your client is ready to get back on board, or indefinitely.

Be certain to affirm that you are not judging them, are not saying anything about where they are in their life, nothing being right, nothing being wrong, things are just as they are, and this coaching relationship is not working for either of you at this time.

Bid them adieu, with God’s blessings, and refer them to someone else, or simply let them go. You can keep the door open for reestablishing a new coaching relationship, down the road, when they are willing and able.

When Everything Goes Wrong

Ever get to that place in life when everything goes wrong? No matter how hard you try everything is going wrong. “I feel like I can’t do anything right when everything is going wrong. Nothing’s going right in my life.”

If that sounds like you, I just want you to know that it sounded like me, too, and so many of my other friends, mentors, and clients. You are not alone. Feeling like, “I have no one in my life,” or when everything goes wrong, and you can’t imagine what to do when you feel lost, is a clear indication that something amazing is brewing for you.

I know, when you’re thinking more like, “I hate my life!” The last thing you want to hear is everyone’s canned answer, “Don’t worry, things will get better.” And I am not offering you that, so don’t hit the back button, keep reading…

You must understand that there is divine architecture at work in the closed-system world where we live. In this bubble which encases our planet, all things are equal, continually in a state of metamorphosis and change. The change may be slow, like coal naturally turning into diamond, or rapid like the vaporization of water when heated, and even though the water appears to vanish when boiled, it still remains in our bubble, only in another form so as not to upset the sacred balance. Everything is based on this delicate balance ever-changing powered by a divine force in perfect rhythm and rhyme.

You and your life are not exempt from the sacred laws of balance.

Keeping this in mind when it looks as if no matter how hard you try it appears that everything is going wrong, and you’re thinking, “I feel like I can’t do anything right,” you’ve lost all hope and nothing is going right. There is an amazing transformation about to take place. Just as the charcoal must experience extreme pressure, the caterpillar must die, and the water must endure the boiling point to transform, your metamorphosis must endure and survive the transformative process.

If you are able to survive it, you will emerge on the other side of this torrential life upheaval, to realize the amazing gift of new, better, and far more enthralling life that waits for you.

The process may be painful, grueling, and may seem as though it would never end. Just as some women may endure a great deal of difficulty in childbirth, while for others it seems to progress effortlessly, so it is for the birthing process you are going through. This life transformative process is different for every person; for some, it is easier than others, though it is generally believed that those who must endure the most tragedy also are more likely to receive the greater reward.

So, if the process you are going through is rather painful and tragic, then it would be reasonable that something far greater is waiting for you on the other side of the tragedy you are currently engaged in.It is up to you to figure out if it is worth it to you to endure the process. You could circumvent the process and live out your life comfortably as a piece of petrified coal… But to emerge a beautifully magnificent diamond, you must endure the stress and pressure to fully experience the metamorphosis.

It is up to you to figure out if it is worth it to you to endure the process. You could circumvent the process and live out your life comfortably as a piece of petrified coal… But to emerge a beautifully magnificent diamond, you must endure the stress and pressure to fully experience the metamorphosis.

Many people are excellent in finding ways to avoid the process, through a myriad range of options which will stave off the change, and this can be achieved to a high level of accuracy. In fact, our medical and mental health resources abound with gimmicks and the finest chemistry to keep you from having to change at all.

The powers that be are quite content with you remaining the way you are, a virtual cog in the machine, but you… You might be ready for something new. The new evolutionary you which is awaiting your release from your cocoon.

Imagine being able to endure all this, to embrace this pressure to emerge as the most brilliant diamond, or to spread your wings and fly, enjoying a life that seems all but impossible in this moment, but still, awaits your arrival on the other side.

It will take time, and the process may be uncomfortable, excruciatingly painful even, but it will be worth it. It is an immutable law.

I know I said that I wasn’t going to say, “Don’t worry. Things will get better.” They do get better, but only if you are willing and able to endure the transformative process.

After a while, when you’ve endured and have had the experience of many of these metamorphoses if you’re like me when nothing is going right, you might start looking around for the good things that are waiting for you in the wings.

Of all the things I know (and that is knowing so much to realize that I don’t know anything), this one thing remains. When it looks like things are at their worst, and it appears that there is no hope for any possible positive outcome, and I don’t know what to do with my life, I can recognize that I am in a state of transformation.

Knowing this gives me hope that something far greater is in store for me, but I must be purified by the immense pressure, like the coal, if I am to enjoy being a diamond.

By the way, once you’ve achieved the state of becoming a diamond, you are still a raw diamond, a diamond in the rough. There is still plenty of road ahead for cutting, faceting and polishing coming before you will be able to appreciate the new evolved you in all the brilliance of your new life.

It’s all a process, everything in this life, and you are no exception, though you may choose to opt out of the evolutionary process. Most have and doing so is commonplace. Even so, more and more of us are embracing the transformation process, and the world will be a better place because of those who have evolved.

You, too, could be a part of this evolutionary change. I believe you are.

You Are the Reluctant Hero

You have noticed you are not quite like your contemporaries as you’ve moved through life. You have noticed that you have special abilities which have peeked through along your life’s path, you noticed, maybe someone else did, too, but you were quick to sluff it off as coincidence, or some other effort to disregard it, because after all is said and done, you just want to be normal; to fit in with your peers. You have no desire to be different.

Nonetheless, you are different. You do have unique special abilities which most people are never gifted with. Life has even placed you in situations and circumstances that would kill any normal person, yet your death-defying special abilities brought you through your challenge.

How much more powerful would your special abilities be if you would embrace them, practice them and let them evolve into their full potential instead of hiding and disregarding them?

How difficult is it for you to watch the news, seeing people in pain, suffering, or an impending crisis, knowing that you could help, if you weren’t trying to hide your true potential(s)?

You know you could make a difference, possibly even set the world on a new and better course, yet you shy away thinking, “I’m not worthy,” not good enough, not educated enough, not enough of whatever it is… Guess what?

There is no training for you or your special abilities, you and yours are so individually unique that only you can step into them, fully experience, and learn to wield your special powers.

God hasn’t brought you this far to leave you stranded or to squelch the super power(s) that He gave to you in the first place.

People have encouraged you, but you’ve shied away, rejecting the idea of attracting any unwanted attention, or to separate you from the comfort of your peers. You’ve found a comfortable place in life, surrounding yourself with what you need to get by in such a way that there is safety and security there.

Outside this bubble of complacent safety, is uncertain risks that bring flood of fear-based thoughts just to think about it is too much to imagine.

Turn off the TV, isolate yourself, shore up the walls you’ve built around yourself. Close your eyes, plug your ears, bury your head in the sand… Still you feel that beckoning tug… the Spirit of God calling you forth into the life that beckons you.

Most people will not embrace their special (hidden or long forgotten) special abilities, and it will never be more apparent to you than in your final moments when you evaluate the missed opportunities of your life and the endless list of regrets.

The greatest super heroes of all time are filling graveyards all over the world, and no one even knows. If that doesn’t make you weep when you walk through a graveyard, I don’t know what would.

Don’t let your light be squelched out, like that.

It’s never too late. If there is still breath in you, life pumping through your veins, there is still time.

Is it frightening? Does it feel like it’s just not possible? Are you afraid that you might fall on your face while your friends look on to laugh at your ridiculousness?

Your hero’s journey starts when you start overcoming your fears and start stepping into your destiny. Let that day be today.

It’s time to stoke the fire, let your light shine, and make the world a better place.

Coaches Trained Born and Made

Training and certifying coaches for years, I hear two distinct references about great coaches and their ability to coach

You can train to be a great coach

Great coaches are born, not trained

Both are true, you can train to be a great coach and the best coaches are born to be coaches. And I would add another,

Life can call and make you the best coach

Let’s take a look at these ideas, digging a little deeper

You can train to be a great coach

Coaching, like any other trained profession, can be learned. The skills can be taught and learned in a classroom setting. In this respect, any good student could learn to be a great coach, technically.

Trained coaches are advised to discover and find a specialty, an area to focus their particular expertise, to specialize in a particular type of coaching.

You are born a great coach

In my practice, I see many people who are “born coaches.” What does it mean to be born a coach? It simply means that you may not have trained to be a coach but it is something you’ve done your whole life. And if you’ve come to this planet to be a coach, you’ve been coaching as long as you can remember and usually have a specialty.

If you came to this planet to be a coach, a quick review of the types of people who have been attracted to you for a particular type of advice, indicates your pre-destined target audience. For instance, if people have been drawn to you for advice on their love lives, then it’s pretty plain to see, you came here with the divine assignment of being a relationship coach.

Life made you the best coach

This type of coach is highly specialized and trained by life, sometimes the most tragic training and learnings from life have qualified you to be one of the few people with such unique terrestrial training, that most likely could never be taught in the classroom.

The training has likely taken place along a hard, treacherous road travelled by others, but you, though beaten and bruised (either physically or emotionally) have come out on the other side of this episode of life, successfully, with a positive perspective.

In this scenario, life has given you qualifications to help others navigate circumstances and challenges which you have first-hand experience with.
In most cases the life-trained best coaches are the most reluctant because it is understandable that their self-confidence might be somewhat lacking following their life’s struggle, and they are haunted by negative self-talk, such as not being worthy or well-educated in their imposed field of study.

Why else do you think life would have selected you to endure this harrowing experience?

Could it be that you have been hand-picked to be the lighthouse, beaming your message of hope and support to others who may be experiencing the same traumatic experiences, right now?

It was no accident that you were chosen to weather this storm, because no one is more qualified to offer hope to others going through what you went through.

These people are looking for you, right now.

Will they be able to find you?

They may not be able to make it without you…

The longer you put off answering the call, the more they will suffer. Wouldn’t you have wanted someone, like you, to offer hope and support?

What time is now for you to accept your divine assignment?

It’s time for you to “Coach Up,” and answer the call.

What Stands Between You?

You already know you need to stop putting things off, watch news and the tube less, and stop participating in activities that are pure time-suckers. You know you need to be more proactive, set goals and deadlines to achieve them. And if you’re more aware, you know you need a system to track your progress and increase your accountability when it comes to doing the things that need to be done to create your highest and best.

Okay, you know what you need to do, you can see it clearly over there, on the other side of the crevasse which stands between where you are and where you know you want to be.

If you really want to get from here, you need to take a look at what stands between you and where you want to be. Here are some of the things that may be keeping you from having what you really want (what you really, really want):

You’re Afraid

Fear is probably the number one thing that stands between you and what you want, it is by far the most powerful influencer in the mind of all human beings. And in terms of making changes to your life, fear of change, and fear of failure are at the top of the list.

And at any point, if you decide to bail out on pursuing your dreams, there is a mob of folks waiting to welcome you back to your life of mediocrity, they’ll hug you, kiss you, tell you how sorry they are for you, they’ll make you chicken soup and nurse you back to mediocrity any way they can.

The best lives are enjoyed by those who have forged their own trail, conquering their fears along the way, knowing that the road ahead is going to be a challenge.

The road may be longer than you thought it would be, have more twists and turns, and you might even take a wrong turn every now and again, but you must start the journey and follow it wherever it leads if you want to get to where you want to be.

Paralysis of Analysis

Sometimes you can get so lost in the study or preparation of a thing that you become frozen in time and space. There is so much to learn, there’s always another book, seminar, class, workshop, a course of study, or guru who you’d like to meet that stands between you and where you want to be.

As prepared as you could possibly be, you could not possibly anticipate anything that might appear on your radar along the way. And if you tried to study and prepare for any possible scenario, chances are you’ll be lost in the prep and never feel prepared enough to confidently leave.

You’ve got to be ready and willing to act on what you have, and gather more information along the way. Otherwise, you will remain stagnant, a victim of the paralysis of analysis. If you run into an unexpected challenge along the way, you just have to do what every other expansion explorer does, scramble like hell, reach out to others, try to figure out a way to get around it, or slay the dragon and keep moving.

Lack of Motivation

If you really want to change your life, you need to be willing and committed to your continuing to make progress even if you’re not feeling it. Motivation is great, but it is often fleeting, what then?

That’s when your true character shines through, you can be a whiner or a winner. Your choice. If you’re going to pick up your toys and run home to mommy, that’s okay, maybe it’s not your time to be the winner. But if it’s your time to dominate your life and emerge the triumphant victorious winner you were always destined to be… Keep going, even if you don’t feel like it.

Winners make their doingness a habit, which requires no motivation. Doing isn’t just what you do, it’s who you are.

Passivity

There is a huge trend toward using, “Whatever,” as a general excuse for anything that might not turn out the way you like as if it justifies walking away from anything because “shit happens.” And there are a thousand excuses that will sound like it justifies your quitting.

You just can’t have that attitude, if you really want what you really want. If it’s true, and you want it, and you think you can to what it takes to get it, you won’t be dissuaded by the first obstacle that shows up and say something like, “Oh, I guess that just wasn’t meant for me.”

No, it was meant for you, you just bailed out on getting what you wanted. What stands between you and what you want is not, “Whatever,” it’s you.

If it’s you, then start practicing doing things. Make a commitment to do something every day – no matter what – and do it. It doesn’t have to be anything big. It could be something like making your bed every day, or writing in your journal every night, and prove to yourself that you can learn to do something without letting life’s excuses get in the way.

Slow and Easy Wins the Race

Don’t take off in a full sprint toward achieving what you want. It’s better to take small steps toward what you want than no steps at all, and making continual progress assures that every day you are getting closer to what you want.

Sometimes, the over-ambitious person has a clear vision of what they want and they take off with the fervent expectation to be able to get there quickly because it is so clear to them, that they could actually reach out and touch it. Then, fail from utter exhaustion, possibly warranting a trip in an ambulance, then having to start over again from scratch, if they survive the ordeal.

(I did that once in Vegas. From the strip, I said, “Look! There’s the Rio, I’ll race you there…” My friend and I started out… It looked so clear, so close. Not my best moment, but a great analogy, eh?)

When is Now the Time for You to Start

You are ready. In fact, you’ve never been so ready. If you readied any longer, you’d start to rot.

You know what you want. Now go get it.

But keep your wits about you, be cautious but keep going, slow and steady.

What you do today brings you so much closer to what you want.

What are you going to do?

5 Steps Toward a Better LIfe

“I can’t seem to get in the groove for a better life.”

You know you want a better life, but you just can’t seem to gain enough momentum to make any significant progress, creating separation from your old life.

We all know, that you can’t expect change to come if you’re stuck in a rut and continue to do the same ol’ same ol’. So, here are some changes you can make to start rocking your new life.

1. Unplug

If you’re plugged into media streams via television, radio, or any other of the available media streams or devices, turn them off, or unplug them all together. Nothing will suck the potential new life from you and drag you back down to lower vibrations than feeding through the media IV.

And it’s not just the Constant Negative News (CNN), this includes sitcoms, late night TV, Netflix, Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat… all of it. Not only do these distract you from achieving your highest and best, they create an incredible loss of time. Time which could be better spent doing anything else. Time which can never be recovered.

“But,” you interject, “Facebook,” or any other interactive media stream, “is a part of my,” (insert somewhat valid excuse) business promotional campaign, ministry, or how I stay connected to my family, etc. Okay, if you must stay connected, then do the responsible thing, monitor and meter your access. Limit yourself to 30 minutes a day.

Use all that extra time to work toward expanding the new you, creating your better life, or make the world a better place, in the real world.

2. Talk to You

When you’re on the path to a better life, chances are your negative self-talk will rear its ugly head in an attempt to dissuade you from changing your life.

You need to not let yourself get distracted by those critical inner voices from your dark past trying to drag you down with claims of your unworthiness, or taunting you, making fun of you, saying you’re not good enough, or are destined to fail, so why even try.

These inner victims have done a good job keep you stuck where you are in life. If you’re going to break free, all you need to do is correct the voice when it pops up. If it says, “You’re not educated enough,” then stop, correct it (do it out loud, if it’s not too embarrassing) by stating a positive reframing of it, like, “Lots of rich, famous, and influential people who have changed the world were not educated,” or some other positive statement and repeat it three times.

If you keep it up, you will find your inner voice begin to not only silence but start to encourage you to move forward. This is when you know you’re making positive progress.

3. People Up

What kind of people are you hanging out with?

There’s a strong connection between the folks you hang out with and where you are in your station in life.

In fact, it’s the number one reason why some people will never be able to exit a life of crime and will always be in trouble with the law because it’s a lifestyle, their family and friends are all in the same “line of work.”

If a criminal really wants to no longer live a life of crime, they need to get away from the hood and make new friends.

From an income point of view, it is said your income level and life view will be roughly equivalent to the five people you spend the most time commiserating with. So, who are they? What kind of life are they leading or promoting?

Do you have energy vampires, who suck the life (and possibly the resources) out of you, leaving nothing for you to focus on making a better life for yourself? Think about give them a less influential station in your social circle, or give them the boot altogether.

Surround yourself with positive, supportive people, who are the kind of people you want to be like. If they’re vibrating at a higher level, your vibration will raise when you’re around them.

Whether conscious or not, these people are shaping your life. If you want to change the shape of your life, changing these five people is a good way to get ‘er done.

4. Do Something

The doers are the people who actually change the world. Rarely does a dreamer make a significant change in society, the world, or their own life by just imagining it, or by repeating positive affirmations. The people who make significant changes in their lives and the world take action. They do something.

You need to do something that is outside of your current routine, that will build up reserves in your new personal escrow account, which will contribute to your new life.

Do something every day. It doesn’t have to be huge, and it will have an accumulative effect on your new life.

5. Heart On

Get to know who you are at your core, as a person, as an extension of all there is in life. Your heart is the central point of your nervous system and has powers you can only imagine.

For men, getting in touch with your gut – your gut feelings – is all about knowing who you are and staying congruent with your true identity, the person you were always meant to be. That person is waiting to come to life, and it’s up to you to let it loose.

For women, it’s your heart, which speaks for itself. You know when something is right or wrong by the feeling in your chest. This is your heart, looking after you, guiding you, even though you may not pay attention to it much, now is the time to start living by your heart.

No matter where it’s felt, in the gut or in the chest, it’s all about the heart baby, and love is the conduit that powers it and ties us all – all things – together.

Get your heart on, start living a life of love for a better life, a better world and a better tomorrow.

How to Start a Mastermind

If you’ve been thinking about starting your own mastermind group, and are about to take action, here’s a brief idea of what you need to do if you’ve been wondering how to start a mastermind group.

First off, you need to have a good idea what your mastermind is going to be for. Is it going to be to get better grades, be focused on effectively raising teenagers, improving personal performance/athleticism, making your community (or world) a better place, investing, starting or building a business, or some other reason? The purpose of your mastermind should be specific, and it’s not uncommon to have more than one mastermind but start with one.

Once you know what you mastermind will focus on, you’ll need to establish some ground rules for participation, like maintaining a high level of confidence among members, showing up prepared and on time. It’s also a good idea to establish exit procedures, in the event someone wants to withdraw or needs to be asked to resign.

A mastermind could also have a specific lifespan. For instance, if the mastermind is focused on a particular event, then following the conclusion and clean-up of the event, it would disband. Otherwise, your mastermind will be perpetual, allowing for growth and change of the mastermind.

As far as how many participants you will have in your mastermind, you can start with one other person and interview respective potential members. I think the best, most effective, number to manage is five or six members, but I think we can all agree that you should never have more than 12 other members. It just makes it problematic to effectively deliver the mastermind results to each participant (plus it calls for an all-day-long affair).

Selecting your mastermind members is a process, you want to find people who are similar to you in social stature and share similar – but different – aspirations. For instance, if your mastermind is focused on building a business, you would want to have several business people in different stages of varied businesses, who have particular skill sets.

When reviewing skills, be certain not to be shopping for what your business needs. Look instead for someone who is like-minded, has a business or interest that they want to see grow, is creative, ambitious, and desires to take their business and lifestyle to the next level. Don’t invite a bookkeeper because your business needs a better accounting system (this is a common mistake). Look for individuals who are likely to bring with them their own unique perspective.

Have regular mastermind meetings, either in person or virtual. Depending on what you desire to accomplish, and at what rate, you might want to meet once-a-week, or once-a-month. Once a week is common for virtual masterminds, with once every 6 months or annual face-to-face live mastermind. Live masterminds, usually start out at once a week for the novices, then settle down into once a month masterminds.

Know how your meeting is going to go and set appropriate parameters, such as allowing each participant to have 20 minutes to update and share, 10 minutes for the mastermind feedback, then onto the next person. Have someone designated to take notes (this task can alternate, or you can have one person designated), and one (could be the same person) to keep track of the time. Allow another 10-minute closing segment, to wrap up, bring up any new business, and to confirm the next mastermind session.

Your mastermind participation can be paid or non-paid, like membership dues. Paid raises the accountability of the members, plus it gives you a reserve expense account in the event that you might like to schedule a special guest, or event for your mastermind. Either way, a periodic guest or event will help to invigorate your group if conducted properly.

Since you’re seeking to start a mastermind, then you probably already know what to expect, the most effective way to create exponential growth by meeting with several other people in a mastermind, which creates a virtual additional personality/entity (the mastermind), which feeds the group with inspiration, ideas, solutions, and creative possibilities. Far surpassing the sum of the participants of the group.

But you probably already knew that.

How to Hear God’s Voice

If God is there, why doesn’t God reach out to me and talk to me? I want to hear from God. Why does He (she) only talk to the famous prophets? The answer is, you are always connected to God and you can hear what God has to say, if you listen. Alright, smarty pants, if you’re so smart, tell me how to hear God’s voice.

To be fair, the answer is not a simple one because everyone hears the voice of God differently. So, it’s on you to figure out how to hear God’s voice in you, and you might receive messages from God from a variety of communication methods. With God permeating every part of your mind, body, and soul, you don’t have to go anywhere to hear what He has to say, or sense or feel messages from Him.

And, “No,” you don’t even have to believe to hear God’s voice. Regardless of your belief system (which is always right, 100%), God is there.

You are never disconnected from God at any time in your life. Oh, you can feel as though you’re outside of His favor, hate Him (or her), or commit the “unforgivable sin,” but you are still connected to God. How can you say that? Because without God, your body would fall to the floor, like a bag of sand, lifeless. And even in those lifeless moments, God is still there.

Strange enough, I was always jealous of other people in the ministry who reported they heard the voice of God. I thought, “What the heck, God? I serve You, committed my life to Your service… You talk to these guys, and You can’t speak one word to me?” I tried everything I could think of, still nothing.

It wasn’t until much further down the line, that I discovered God had been talking to me all along, just in a different way. No, I didn’t hear God’s voice to me or even spoken words inside my head, but I did realize God had been speaking to me through the arts. It took a while for me to wrap my head around it and how to hear (interpret) what He was saying.

Some people do hear an audible voice, for others, God might speak to you through any other medium of communication. In most cases, you will need to learn how to tune-in to the frequency where God is speaking to you, then you can hear, feel, know or otherwise sense what God is saying to you.

I know so many people who hear God’s voice in deep meditative states, amidst fervent prayer, or when they are communing with God in nature, these are probably the most popular environments where one is likely to receive messages from God.

Some people report getting messages from God while reading a book (sometimes books that don’t have any spiritual content whatsoever), watching television (even the news), or surfing the Internet. If God’s everywhere, He could be anywhere.

One of my mentors reports that tinnitus (ringing in the ears) is God’s signal to him that He has something to say or show him. So, he starts paying more attention to what is going on, looking for clues for what God has to say or show to him. It could be anywhere at any time. He says it works every time.

How to Hear God’s Voice

Have a soft spot in your attention connected to your heart and be open to receive.

You could hear God’s voice, witness an event that speaks to you, you could get a feeling or sense of a specific meaning or message, or see something play out in your mind’s eye, like a mental movie, or any of the other methods God might use to communicate with you. However you hear God’s voice, it will be unique to you.

That doesn’t mean you will hear God’s voice when you want to, or that what you hear is what you want to hear. Sometimes God tells us things we don’t want to hear, and sometimes the silence is more profound than any answer that you might be able to conceive.

Usually, the silence harkens you to delve deeper into yourself and look in the mirror. This is the most difficult work to imagine, and silence leads you to this most meaningful deep work.

It’s as if God was saying, “If you want more or Me, you’re going to have to meet Me halfway, so come on… I am waiting for you.”

God’s waiting to commune with you.

Are you listening?

7 Points of Evolving Expansion

One of the components of evolutionary expansion is the ability to allow base beliefs to expand beyond the primitive definitions which you have been groomed to hold onto with every fiber of your being. Even so, with all that familial and social programming, something inside you is gently tapping on your shoulder, quietly whispering the question, “Is there something more?” Indeed, there is. Here are 7 points of evolving expansion that you may notice as contrasting as you continue to open, grow and change into the higher version of yourself.

1. Be a Good Person

We’re all told to be a good person, to not try to buck the system or be a rebel. There is a basic tenant which harkens to us to not be a bad person, to treat our fellow beings as we might like to have them treat us and to feel sorry for others who are struggling (maybe even lend them a hand in one way or another). Avoid criminal activity, obey the laws of the land, understand and reinforce the ideals of what is right and what is wrong, and influence others to comply.

Expanded Version

Evolving to the grander version of yourself includes allowing the good person that you’ve been raised to be to expand into an even better person, only this next level of goodness is not defined by others. The good person you’re becoming can only be defined by you, as the result of your expanding self, establishing a greater, more sensitive heart connection with the energies of life. This expanded good person is likely to see things quite differently than their other well-programmed and compliant neighbors. Still, the inclination to be a good person remains, though it takes on a new vitality and flavor than what others might definitively expect.

2. Gather and Believe

In the United States and other countries, this is usually an expectation to have an inclination to some kind of belief system. While some are more popular than others, there is a wide range of belief systems available for anyone to adhere to, everything from Catholicism to Atheism and then some.

Expanded Version

The expanded being begins to break free from the confines of any box which adheres to a specific and limited belief system. As you evolve you see that things are not as they appear to be and certainly not as you were led to believe. This opens the heart and the mind to new possibilities. While you may have a desire to continue with your present belief system, if you were to clearly voice your new revelations, or question the inappropriateness or inadequacies with their prescribed belief system, this could cause problems for you. You are developing your own belief system, which cannot be fit into someone else’s restrictive box of thought.

3. You and Your Self

You’ve been raised to believe that you must fight to preserve your sense of self. You know what you feel, want, believe and you are compelled to fight, or risk all to defend it. This is an egocentric point of view which keeps all of us separated from becoming one. Even in the sacred bond of marriage, or among blood relatives, this “fight for your right” mentality is pervasive, keeps and tears us apart. We form organizations, factions, religions, governments, laws and military forces to defend our separateness.

Expanded Version

As you evolve into the higher version of your self, your “self” decreases as you become more tolerant and tune into the vibration of love and independently connect more to the source of everything. As you bid your ego, Adieu, you can understand what Jesus meant when he said, “He who has found his life will lose it, and he who has lost his life for My sake will find it.” (Matthew 16:25) It doesn’t refer to your literal loss of life, but to your moving forward for the greater good, leaving your ego behind; not an easy thing to do. Your ego has been in the driver’s seat far too long to be willing to leave without a fight. Nonetheless, letting go of this part of your self is and welcomed and important part of your evolution.

4. When Bad Things Happen

The old you was programmed to get up and fight or sulk in sadness when things don’t go the way you want, always having to choose between accepting victimization or becoming the warrior willing to fight (compromise morals or commit crimes) for what you want, when things don’t go the way you expected. Ultimately, the powers that be are too powerful to do battle with, so most of us, sulk, fall into depression, or try to ease the pain by leaning on a wide variety of addictions which avail themselves to help us mitigate the damages and pain associated with having to accept our lowly lot in life.

Expanded Version

Your expanded-self looks at challenges, difficulties, inadequacies and incongruent ideas from an entirely new perspective. From this viewpoint above and outside yourself, without your ego in tow, you are more able to see things as they really are, not as you’ve been programmed to see them. You are understanding more that when Jesus said, “And we know that in all things God works for the good…” (Romans 8:28) that they truly do. “All things,” even the worst of things you could possibly imagine, all pave the way for something so far better, but we are more likely than not unable to see what good lays beyond the struggle we may be engaged in at the time. With this understanding, you are less prone to worry, and unable to be victimized, because you know there is something better not far off, eliminating what we previously considered, “bad things.” Now you’re realizing that these are only necessary changes of direction or attention.

5. Mistakes and Coincidences

You have been trained to believe that mistakes are bad, and you’ve learned to beat yourself up for your missteps and accept ridicule from others when you’ve stumbled. And coincidences, are just that; some unassociated or random thing that has transpired for no apparent reason, which could be a fortunate unexpected good thing (or a bad thing). In any case, these things, your unfortunate missteps and any coincidental manifestations are just that; random and disconnected. Sometimes stuff just happens; that is all.

Expanded Version

As you continue to evolve you begin to understand that there are no such things as mistakes or coincidence because you are becoming more aware of the divine connectedness in all things. You know that all mistakes carry with them a sacred treasure of a hidden message or learning that you may not have been able to receive having not gone through this process leading to your growth and attainment of more wisdom. This gives you a unique perspective and knowledge that is priceless to anyone who might be struggling with a similar set of circumstances. Then there are the coincidences, of course, you realize that these are divine gifts and blessings (or corrections) that all serve as blessed rewards or ways to put you back on the path to your highest and best.

6. Negative News

We are programmed to keep one ear and one eye (if not both of them) leaning on the newsfeed spoon-fed to us by the media, books, films, “reality shows” news coverage, and “live feeds” via the Internet. This exposure to mass media is the main source of disseminating your programming, in addition to and following your public or private schooling, to assure that you become a good citizen, amiable to the control of the powers-that-be which are charged with your control. Their favorite tool for delivering messages and thought patterns that run deep is to strongly associate them and deliver them in a state of fear or danger. Then we become unpaid foot soldiers, spreading the message and monitoring our neighbors by doing the responsible thing with the innocuous, “Did you hear in the news…?”

Expanded Version

As you grow and learn more about how things are not as they are, or how they were presented to you, you develop a sort of Spidey-sense when you’re being exposed to the propaganda and lie(s) promoted by the powers that be, in an effort to distract you from your growth and expansion. The most effective tool used to manipulate you and the masses is fear, and they will use it, exploit and spin anything and everything they can to keep you in a fear-based vibration, because you and everyone else is so much easier to control when you’re in a state of fear and are more likely to believe that you need someone else to keep you safe from the things that you are unable to witness first-hand. The more evolved you become, the less interested you are in propaganda and lies.

7. Love Is…

When you think of love, you’ve been programmed to have certain ideologies associated with love; and this is perfect for the masses. It goes something, like this, the different kinds of love include love for your family and friends, love for fauna and flora, love for your pet, love of one’s country, love for persons, places, and things, and romantic love between two people “in love.” Love initiates within you, your heart, for someone or something outside of yourself.

Expanded Verson

Love is the carrier wave of all energy, it is in everything, throughout all that is or ever was, holds all things together and provides appropriate separation, exists in the absence of anything amidst any void, has no beginning and no end. Even in negative energy, love is there. As you expand you learn to tap into this limitless energy from outside yourself, allow it to envelop all that you are, letting it consume you and flow out to others. You now know that love is not limited to individuals, and your love for individuals changes, as you move away from selfish love to the unconditional forms of love and its expression. Additionally, as you learn how to harness its power, you can learn how to use it to share, heal and be the light to an otherwise dark and thirsty world that longs for the release of this powerful energetic influence.

These are just some of the areas you will notice major shifts of consciousness when you expand and continue to evolve into the highest and best version of yourself.

How to Know If You Can Trust Someone

Is He or She Trustworthy?

How to know if you can trust someone or, not? Is he or she trustworthy?

If you pay attention you can usually tell if someone is worthy of your trust early on. People are generally fairly transparent unless they have a form of psychopathy or are a highly trained government spy.

Early on, people give us clear signals which could alert us to whether they can be trusted, or not, though in most cases we overlook the warning signs because we desire to seek out and believe the best in people, especially those we may have the potential of developing a relationship with.

First off, you feel comfortable about the idea of trusting them. Now this may be a false positive, but it is rarely a false negative. If your first impression of a person is that they appear to be trustworthy, more often than not you will be right. On the other hand, if your first impression of someone is that they cannot be trusted, you’re probably right.

Observing how a person acts and reacts will help to give you more supportive information as to whether someone can be trusted, or not, such as do they appear to trust others, or are they more suspicious of others. There’s a pretty good chance, if they are unable to trust others, it is probably because they know they themselves cannot be trusted. If you can’t trust yourself, how can you trust someone else? An early indicator might be impulsivity. If they can’t trust themselves, their ability to control their own actions, then there’s a good chance your faith or trust in them may be misguided. People who are worthy of your trust are usually able to demonstrate an adequate level of self-control.

Trustworthy people are more compassionate and willing to compromise for the greater good, while someone who is unwilling to compromise might not be able to be trusted to do the right thing. These observations can be noted on the smallest scale and extrapolated out to the more important things of life. For instance, if you have an impromptu meeting after work with co-workers about a particular project and you invite the new hire along, if he or she declines the invitation because he or she is tired, you can reasonably expect that this person will opt out of more important obligations if they are not feeling up to it. Which in itself is not a bad thing, but what if you’re depending on this person to follow through on something of great importance? You will look back on this early warning sign, slap your forehead and say, “I knew it.”

If you can’t trust someone with the smaller details, then you probably can’t trust them with the big ones. If someone is not telling the truth about how long they took for a coffee break, or lie about where they went on their lunch break, even though these may seem inconsequential, they are early warning signs of someone who is comfortable with not telling the truth. Even though they might be white lies or they might have purposefully withheld particular details which may not be cause for alarm, these can be indications that trouble may be brewing down the line when the stakes are much higher. If someone can be trusted with small, inconsequential details, then there’s a good chance they can be trusted with more important details.

Making excuses, justifying their missteps, or blaming others could be early indications that someone can’t be trusted, for trustworthy individuals are far more likely to take full responsibility for their actions. You know what to expect from someone who can be trusted. If they say they are going to do something, they do it. If they give you a head’s up that they might not be able to perform to an expected level, and they do not, they were honest and forthright, giving you fair warning. While untrustworthy individuals are more likely to make promises knowing they are unlikely (if not unable) to keep them, then make excuses or blame someone or something else for their inability to follow through with their commitment(s).

The only real way to know if you can trust someone, or not, is to trust them with something small at first. Then sit back and see what happens. If they prove that they can be trusted with this, then you can move on to other, more important issues. Sometimes trusting someone allows them to raise their own personal bar of integrity, answering the call with trustworthiness. Giving them the opportunity to show themselves as trustworthy might actually make them worthier of your trust in him or her.