davidmastersadmin | David M Masters

Should I Get Married?

When you’re surrounded by a sea or wounded people going through divorce, destroying families and creating chaos between two people and their people sending shock waves of decimation throughout the community, it’s no wonder you asking yourself, “Should I get married?”

Marriage builds stronger relationships between two people than two people who are not married. It’s not that unmarried couples cannot thrive together for the long haul, but statistics prove that married couples are 50% more likely to survive a long term commitment.

So as much as our society is resisting the idea that marriage is a good thing, or is leaning toward the belief that marriage is “just a piece of paper,” couples who are married experience greater degrees of happiness, stronger family units, greater health, wellness and longevity.

In this day and age, many people are resistant to the idea of marriage because they see the many people they have known who were married and witnessed the destruction of these lives affecting friends and family members as the legal system strives to make the struggle for survival after divorce even more difficult.

While the institution of marriage (I know, I can hear the hecklers in the background, “Why would I want to commit myself to an institution?”) does demonstrate a good chance of success, the devastating effect of the divorce process gets far more publicity via social exposure, and many more people than those involved can be shocked or hurt by the mere thought of whatever might possibly be a fearful conclusion that no one would sing up to endure.

Who could blame them? Most everyone has been within earshot of, if not directly affected by, the down and dirty effects of divorce on families across the board in America today. And the legal institutions that back up the divorce process are all tools available to an unscrupulous parent or child to make matters even worse. The divorce process can be a painfully horrible experience to have to go through.

In my practice I serve both married and unmarried couples and from my experience the best, most long-lasting relationships are among the couples that are married. It’s as if that little “piece of paper” does give them that little extra incentive to put forth just enough more effort to get over the hump and realize whatever amazing thing is waiting for them on the other side of adversity.

Plus, in successful marriages, married couples have more stable states of mental health, and better physiological health and wellness. And (you might be surprised to discover) successful married couples suffer fewer heart attacks, are less likely to get Cancer, and live longer than their single or unmarried but coupled peers.

While the unmarried couples are more vocal about the benefits of not being married, the married couples do experience a higher quality of life. Oh, you hear about how sex outside of marriage is better than the sex that takes place in the marriage bed… What? Who are these people?

In my practice, I have spent a lot of time counseling with married couples, and as far as I can tell, in general, there is more sex happening more frequently between partners who are married (to each other) than their single or unmarried cohabitating peers. I also hear that married sex is better because of the potential of a much deeper connection that is possible between married couples sharing similar spiritual journeys. So, the idea that unmarried sex is better is a myth, as is the idea that unmarried sex, or swinging sex, is more frequent than married sex.

As a wedding officiant, I have married many couples and am somewhat disappointed at the survival rates of people whose weddings I’ve officiated. It’s pretty much the same as national statistics. To be honest about half of them end in divorce.

And divorce can be a low down and dirty business. While men get a bad rap when it comes to divorce, the women can be just as dastardly, if not more so, and are more emotionally equipped to survive the divorce process than a man, who is twice as likely to take his own life following a failed marriage.

By the way, any of the positive effects gained during the marriage are negated while emotional and biological health deteriorates rapidly during the divorce process.

So, the unmarried folks who put down marriage have a point, no doubt. Divorce is the downside of marriage, but the benefits of successful marriages far outweigh any other kind of relationship.

So, what do you think when you ask yourself,

Should I get married?

Living Your Life In Love

As you become more aware about who you are, where you came from and what your purpose is for being here, you look at the idea of love differently than you did in your pre-evolutionary infancy. You’re realizing that the Love Vibration is a high frequency that resonates with you in the most pleasing way.

From the perspective of the Love Vibration, life is good and you maintain a reverent attitude about life and everything we discover or witness taking place anywhere around us. The more you get accustom to the Love Vibration, you will find ways to keep anything from pulling you down to other lower levels of vibration.

While love is the most meaningful vibration, as you continue to evolve, you realize that love is the secret doorway that leads to even higher vibrations of joy, peace and enlightenment. While you can occasionally visit these higher vibrational states fully feeling them in all their glory, maintaining those higher vibrations is often brief and you will return to your base vibration.

Your base vibration is the set point from which you visit other vibrational frequencies. For example, if your base vibration of wanting more, which we will refer to as “Desire.” The Desire Vibration is a frequency that keeps the things that you want to appear to be just outside your reach. You are craving things you don’t have, you are often interrupted and disappointed by people, information and circumstances. From the Desire Vibration, you can visit and enjoy higher vibrations of love or above, but after a period of time, our vibration will return to your set point of desire.

If your set point is the Love Vibration, no matter what lower frequencies you visit, you will always return to your loving set point.

So, here are some things to think about adopting and activating into your day-to-day lifestyle. They will take you to the Love Vibration, and the more you do them, the more likely you will be able to make love your vibrational set point.

Love Yourself

Get to know yourself better and love the whole person that you are. Find ways to lovingly see the blessing in all the life circumstances you have encountered and endured. All this experience helped to bring you to this place, this time, just as you are. You embrace your uniqueness, you don’t consider yourself unworthy, undeserving or not enough. You’ve banished the negative thoughts that once haunted you. You live life knowing there is a bright side to all dark clouds and are able to find the good in all things. While you are still open to evolve, you know you are perfect and love yourself just the way you are.

Do What You Love

Whatever those things are that you love to do, make more opportunities to do them. Every time you perform an act of love or are feeling love, whatever that is for you, you are experiencing the frequency of the Love Vibration. Be looking for new activities that you can do that take you to love’s frequency. The more you find yourself engaging in the activities you love, the longer you can maintain the Love Vibration.

Invite Loving Expansion

Find new opportunities to experience the Love Vibration and seek out new, emerging thought processes that invite you to inhabit the frequency of love or above. As you grow in your personal development and continue to expand tha which is you will find more congruence with love’s vibration. Keep an open heart and an open mind as you seek to find the love all around you, for everywhere you look love is there, waiting for you to see it, feel it, be it.

This Love Is for You

When others notice your love expanding, they might try to influence your expansion of love and your metamorphosis into a higher version of yourself. Remember, this process is not for anyone else, it’s for you and you, alone. You’re no longer living your life of love for anyone else and no one can tell you how to do it. Everyone’s love journey is so unique and individualized. This is a journey of one. You’re not becoming love for anyone else but you and if you want to love someone who loves you, you don’t have to do anything but be the love you are and let your love overflow to that other person.

Connect

Love is a powerful, integrous, connecting force that attracts and affects others all around you. In all areas of life people, increasingly the right kind of people, will be attracted to you. Opportunities will present themselves to allow interconnection with good people who will be supportive and have your back. Through love, your love can expand to and through the others in and throughout your expanding circle of influence. All areas of your life will be affected by your Love Vibration, attracting people you can rely on.

Tap in to Your Heart’s Love

Get to know your heart’s Love Vibration and find ways to absorb it’s vibration. Just imagining you’re holding a new born baby, looking into its eyes and feeling the love, takes you to that vibration. A love song or imagining reuniting with a beloved soldier coming home from abroad, or loving your pet. Whatever it is for you, you can go there in your mind and feel the love radiate from your heart and allow it to envelope you. Increasingly, you will have the ability to go into love’s libration whenever you want.

Get to Know Yourself Deeply

Becoming more self aware will empower you with the ability to see the underlying blocks which have hindered your ability to experience true love in the past. You will start to see yourself and the things you do in a different life, and discover new ways to act and react from love’s sacred space. You better you get to know yourself, the more equipped you will be to surrender fear, lack and unrealistic expectations of love. And let go of your false images of love, what it is and what it means as you embrace higher vibrations of authentic love.

Abandon Immature Love

Immature love is so far from being unconditional (I love you no matter what). In fact, it is quite the opposite. Immature love leaves you needing to have your partner’s full attention all the time. You might also expect them to love you without reservation, expecting them to honor and respect you at all times and remember each and every special occasion reverently. Then find yourself being upset of hurt because they did not express their love in a particular fashion. Let go of the entrapment of immature love, instead be open, honest and communicative with your partner. Do not expect him or her to read your mind and rid yourself 0f immature heart break.

Romance Yourself

Take time and make occasion to romance yourself. Buy yourself flowers, take a long hot bath at night with scented candles, get a massage, etc. Make opportunities for you to relax and be enveloped by love’s vibration. And think on these things: You are love. You deserve love. Love flows in and through you to others, an invisible but powerful force which affects anyone within ten feet of your presence and can be focused and sent from your heart to the heart of another instantly, unimpeded by time or space.

Be Lovingly Mindful

Honor the love growing in you and flowing through you. Find better ways to spend your time and expend your energies to reflect your Love Vibration. Do the things you love and make opportunities to do and love them even more. Keep the people who reflect your love back to you nearby and make any adjustments that may be necessary to increase your exposure to your loving crew.

Forgive Yourself

Authentic, true love does not disrespect you, criticize you or berate you. Love accepts you just the way you are, with all your perfect imperfections. Love does not ridicule you when you misstep. Rather, love forgives you, and loves you even more. Love lightheartedly sees the humor in otherwise embarrassing situations and loves you through it, allowing the doing of it better next time (should the occasion ever arise). Love does not judge, it only loves you no matter what. So cut yourself some slack and join in love’s forgiveness.

Celebrate Love’s Expansion

As the love within you continues to grow and expand and you are feeling the results of love’s vibration more and more, celebrate your love and find ways to use this powerful vibration to influence your life even more as well as the world around you. Treat or reward yourself for helping to make the world a better place, even if only the world which resides within you.

God bless you on living your life in love

For that is what you are

LOVE

Put Off Procrastination

Why do today what you can put off tomorrow?

In my line of work, I am blessed to find myself among the movers and shakers of the world. These people are visionary masters who take action and see their dreams burst into vibrant life before their very eyes. To you and I, it looks like magic, but in real life, the only difference between these abundant leaders who manifest miracles and the rest of us, is their propensity to do today what they could have put off tomorrow. In other words, they have an impeccable ability to do.

It doesn’t mean their doingness comes easy. In fact, in many cases it comes at great sacrifice, but they do it nonetheless. They are the doers, and you see their fruits of labor as they continue to take action and help to make the world a better place. Even if their personality is more subdued, their answering to a higher calling precludes and trumps their inclination to hesitate or procrastinate.

What about you? Do you have a tendency to put off until tomorrow what you can do today?
Procrastination is rooted in complacency and lack of motivation. Some people might label such a person as lazy, or a couch potato, if they are more apt to be reluctant to take action. But isn’t that the common vibration all across America today? In general, people just are not as motivated to take massive action anymore. Hell, they’re not even prone to think for themselves anymore. It’s just easier to let someone else deal with it and enjoy what’s left over.

I mean, life in America has gotten a lot easier that it was only a hundred years ago. It’s hard to imagine a world without planes, trains and automobiles. It wasn’t that long ago to suggest living a life with media, computers, instant communications technology and online shopping would have been considered witchcraft or science fiction, and if you persisted, possibly an invitation to change your address to the loony bin.

So it’s easy to hang out with Jack and Diane and get high and watch the tube, two American lovers with nothing better to do, or surf the web, spend countless hours scrolling through social media, or whatever other pastimes might be distracting you from your opportunity to do something.

You have things you want to accomplish, but it seems like it gets harder and harder to get things done, because it seems like there’s just not enough hours in a day anymore. There’s just not enough time to get done, the things that you might like to accomplish. It seems like you’re always in a rush to get things done at the last minute. In fact, if it weren’t for the last minute, you might not do anything at all (and there’s nothing wrong with that).

You look around and think, “What’s the big deal?” as you notice that no one else you know is doing anything, either, so it just must be normal, and it’s good to be normal.
Lucky for us all, there is an amazing example of normal people accomplishing amazingly significant things every day, that they are not able to avoid doing. If you’re not one, find a woman who has given birth to a child, and you will be in the presence of such a person.

This is the ultimate act of creation, to see life magically burst before your eyes.
Was it fun? Hopefully parts of the process was enjoyable, but much of the process was challenging and in those final moments before birth, excruciatingly painful. But she pursued, pushed through, and so did the baby. And in that moment of success, when creator holds her creation in her arms and looks that baby in the eyes… There is no more meaningful moment in this life.

Moments, like this, are experienced by the doers who take action and do the work necessary to see their projects come to life, too.

So what’s keeping you from getting from here to there?

You might begin by looking around at ways in your life where you can tweak your life to create more opportunities to do something noteworthy of significant; maybe something you’ve felt compelled to do, but just thought putting it off would be easier.

If there’s something welling up inside you, and you’re thinking about taking action, maybe start with a simple to do list. This is an easy way to get your feet wet in the arena of productivity. Just by making a list of things you might like to accomplish today. You can ramp up your productivity by assigning a numeric value indicating how important an item is on your list by using a scale of 1 to 10, or 1 to 100, whichever feels better for you. And be diligent about getting the most important things done.

The next step to further improve your list’s efficiency is to take a moment to review what might be involved in accomplishing the things on it. How long will it take? Set aside the time necessary to accomplish specific tasks. The better you get at estimating and making time for things, the more time you will have for other things throughout the day.

As you begin to make changes in your life, you will notice things falling into an organizational arrangement, allowing you to adjust and make changes to maximize your time. The more tidy you are able to keep things around you, the more efficiency will be realized as you continue to streamline your daily activities. At this point, you may want to use some of your newly acquired free time to further streamline your environment. Then make time to reward yourself for doing so.

You are no longer a victim of the ticking clock as you begin to create time for activating your goals, dreams and desires. You’re making simple adjustments and creating more time for you to take the action necessary to prepare for the birth of your dream. If a particular task seems overwhelming, break it down into smaller steps which can be taken a bit at a time. Before you know it, you will have conquered the seemingly impossible as you move closer and closer to your goal and you find yourself on the other side of procrastination, leaving it far behind for those who are more “normal.”

You are accomplishing the most important things earlier in the day, so that you are being able to enjoy the easier tasks as the day goes along, so that you can enjoy more peaceful evenings, and find yourself sleeping better, knowing that you have made progress today.

You are dealing with the issues as they arise. You’re finding ways to take action over feelings of inadequacy, second-guessing, and varying states of emotional stress. Every day, you are better than the day before, and you are emerging as the confident, take charge person you need to be, to make your best contribution to a world waiting to hear your voice.

Jealous Much?

If you really want to transform into your highest and best, at some point you’re going to have to say, “Sayonara,” to the Green Eyed Monster. If you are prone to jealousy, this will not reflect well upon the vision of you as it is expressed to onlookers. It’s one of those unfortunate negative emotions that doesn’t look good when anyone wears it on their countenance. Jealousy does not instill faith or respect, except from those where negative vibration is lowest common denominator, for they will revel in your pain and drama and even gaslight, or fan the flames.

Jealousy will be the undoing of most any relationship it touches, if not when it first rears its ugly head, then after a while, when anyone who may be the recipient of it (and possibly onlookers) begin to find ways to distance themselves from you. It imposes a great deal of unnecessary drama and communicates a severe lack of trust.

We all suffer from jealousy to some extent due to the experiences we have gathered along life’s journey. Any loss, pain or injustice you may have endured since birth can contribute to your lack of self-empowerment, leaving you susceptible to getting a jab from the old Green Goblin.

Not to fear, there is hope for overcoming jealousy, if you’re so inclined.

First of all, you need to be enough for you. You have to come to the knowledge and conclusion that your happiness does not depend on any other person. You have to be your own best friend. Sounds simple on the surface, but as you continue to grow and expand you get to know more about yourself better, and if you’re honest, you will begin to see the dark areas of your life that previously were hidden from your consciousness. Love yourself first. Appreciate all you are and have (not what you lack).

Raise your self-esteem and confidence by treating yourself lovingly and treat yourself occasionally, rewarding you for loving yourself. Take yourself on a date, for a spa day; buy a new outfit, bobble or pair of shoes. Start treating yourself well. Don’t wait for someone else to do it. Learn how to be your own support system and set boundaries to take better care of yourself.

Take notice of what the triggers are that set off your jealousy and make a list. When you feel those emotions welling up inside of you, think about what it was that set you off. If you are honest with yourself, you will probably see that there is not a factual foundation for feeling as though you are threatened at this moment in time. It is typical for jealousy to be felt as a highly exaggerated negative state of mind.

If the object of your jealousy is a person, it might be prudent to have a talk with him or her and let them know what they’re doing is setting off your panic button. They may be doing something they are not even aware of, or they could be doing it intentionally to cause this reaction. If they are unaware they are doing something to make you feel as if there may be a impending loss, they might be able to make subtle changes that might make your feel better the next time. If they are doing it maliciously, it might be time to set a boundary.

The more you are honest with yourself and your feelings of inadequacy, and potential struggles with self-confidence or deeply hidden emotions stored from a time long ago (which is like an viral infection, growing until it makes itself apparent on the surface) you will be better equipped to deal with it. This is a major accomplishment in your evolutionary process to defeat your imaginary fears, taking control of your life, and feeling so much better about it.

Regularly review your life and emotional state of being. Are there any emotional weeds growing in the garden of your well being? If you are always keeping an eye out for potential pitfalls, you can tackle whatever comes your way and deal with the negative emotions as they become apparent to your awareness.

Ask yourself what it is about this person that sets you off? Dig deeper and see if it isn’t connected to something that happened earlier in your life. In most cases, you will find a connection that has nothing to do with your current object of concern. Take note of what it is about them that triggers you, then ask yourself if your reaction is justified, or not.

Sometimes you might feel victimized or as if there are no options besides letting yourself succumb to the rabid jealousy. You must get on the other side of this if you are to progress and continue your evolution, so find ways to neutralize your negative emotional state by using prayer, meditation, exercise, tapping or dancing. Whatever it takes find a way to disconnect yourself from the feelings which can overtake you and cause you to falter.

Seek out a friend, associate, or even better someone who will be an unbiased participant, like a counselor or coach who can help you get from here to there.

God bless you.

Communication in Difficult Circumstances

Since we are sharing our planet with other people, all of whom are on their own individual journeys, many, if not all of them, are dissimilar in many ways in comparison to you. If you have chosen to start thinking for yourself and separate yourself from the masses, then you are becoming even more unlike them. Yet, the fact remains, we are all here, doing the best we can with what we have and must find way to use our words to bless those around us.

No matter where you are in the river of life, you need to find ways to integrate and communicate and play well with others. You must navigate and maintain a variety of levels of relationships. The key in maintaining effective relationships is finding ways to communicate and connect with others in such a way as to thrive effectively among the landscape of this life. A landscape sprinkled with a wide variety of opportunities to interact and commune with others in your family, with your friends, community, while pursuing your vocation, delivering your message, while sharing your skills and abilities, giving your gifts and blessing others.

How you respond to those who will challenge you, berate or threaten you will depend on your ability to communicate well and choose your words wisely, or to refrain from speaking altogether in a moment that would not benefit from your spoken word.

Find ways to find a place of love and peace within yourself, regardless of facing insurmountable odds or managing difficult situation or people, while maintaining the wherewithal to control your emotions and words when others might have fallen to lesser vibrations of prideful conflict.

You will never be free from the emotional challenges that face others, but you can live and manage your life in such a way to minimize exposure to and the impact of these challenges. Try as you might, you will occasionally face situations where you find yourself in a difficult situation. In these moments, you might find some of these ideas helpful, such as

Firstly, avoiding the lure of defending yourself, your ideals or beliefs about certain emotionally charged subjects, like religion or politics. You are not here to defend your beliefs or challenge anyone else’s. You honor everyone’s right to find their own way, and expect the same respect in kind, that is all. Listen, if you like, but do not debate. Debating only widens the gap between polarities, only love closes the gap. If it conflict looks unavoidable, leave the room, or otherwise excuse yourself or find another place to be.

Don’t attempt to change another person’s point f view, do not challenge their belief system, this will only trigger their base emotions crating in them the need to bolster up and defend themselves in a fight or flight reaction. In the fight-fueled combat, things can get very dicey, dark and evil, for at the most instinctual level, they will defend their position or fight (even if metaphorically) with their life’s blood. Your battle is not on the playing field of others, your battles are fought within.

If someone is in the habit of presenting you with conflict or urging you to defend yourself, do not fall in their trap or challenge to a duel. Some people derive a sense of power by causing others to falter or destroying them altogether. They will do whatever they can to throw you off track. If this is the case, find ways to establish healthy boundaries to protect yourself from such predatory abuse.

Above all live a live of tolerance, understanding that everyone’s world revolves around their own individual perspective and beliefs about how the world is. None of us has all the answers and we all are at various stages among our own quest in the pursuit of freedom, happiness and truth. Bless everyone at whatever stage they are and love them regardless of where they are on their journey, or what destination it appears they are enroute to. Do not measure your stage in comparison to anyone else’s. Every journey is a journey of one.

See only the good aspects of others, even if they are challenging or threatening you. Remember that their approach to you is based on a life of programming that has resulted in this attitude or outburst. It is likely that they are harboring a deep, dark past, and withholding emotions that has caused a chain-reaction, displaying itself in a moment of weakness. Do not pity them, but honor them for making it this far, and hope they find better ways to express themselves in the future. If not, bless them anyway.

Remember there are no good people or evil people, everyone is only seeing as they can through the eyes of the man or woman they have become, which is based on so much programming and life experience in varying degrees of positivity and negativity, every moment of every day is a constant struggle for survival, especially for the greater portion of our population. Love them, where they are.

Know your limits, and look for clues that it’s time to look for an exit. Better to avoid a battle than engage in it. For what good is it to risk your reputation or your well being, or to damage someone else’s? You have a higher ideal and calling. It is better not to engage, unless it is completely unavoidable.

Avoid finding the need to assign blame when you find yourself in difficult situations, and be gracious and kind even when facing someone who is enraged. Let them express themselves, and if it’s too much to bear, just walk away, loving them as you do so.

Sometimes a light-hearted sense of humor can break the negative state of an adversary. Some people are gifted with this mechanism of knowing a funny thing to say that is non-threatening but breaks the negativity enough to cause the other person to make adjustments to their tactic, possibly abandoning the conflict altogether.

Surround yourself with supportive, positive people to help you keep an even equilibrium in your social surroundings.

Life is a journey. Try to make the best of it you can by getting along with those around you. People are watching you. You may be the inspiration for others to try to get along with others in their lives too.

Loving first is always the best approach to any potentially negative situation.

How Do You Feel About Things?

How you feel about things in life greatly influences your general state of mind. For the most part, how you feel about things dictates what kind of life you will live, how healthy you will be and how long you will live. Mental and physiological health is keenly attuned to how you feel. The people who have control of how they feel about things, maintaining a more positive outlook, experience a more stable emotional vibration allowing them to have more happiness, good health, love and longevity.

If you are actively taking responsibility for living a better life, you are looking at your mind/body/spirit dynamics and taking care to optimize your life and lifestyle. You’re more conscious about what your relationship with your body is like and you’re more attentive of the food you eat, maybe you’re exercising more, spending more time with Mother Nature, you are taking a more proactive approach to how you conduct your life, but are you making the effort to control how you feel?

A healthy holistic lifestyle includes influencing, taking more personal responsibility and being conscious about your intellectual and social health, physical health and the health of your emotional state. How you feel about things, your emotional state, greatly influences the health of all the other areas of your life.

Life brings you a great deal of opportunities to negatively influence how you feel about things. There are our familial and social relationships and interactions with other people with whom we do not maintain a relationship as life goes on all around us. Other opportunities to affect how you feel include your vocation, finances, your health status, concern about your community, and the world at large.

If you are to get a grip on how you feel about things that are presenting themselves to your awareness, you are more proactive about taking responsibility for what you are exposed to, if you are able.

The amount of stress you are exposed to can have a huge impact on how you feel, so managing stress is a key component in feeling better about life in general. Stress reduction should be of primary concern for establishing a better emotional state and by exposing yourself to fewer stressful situations, you will feel so much better about what life presents to you.

Many techniques are readily available to reduce, manage, or eliminate stress which is felt physiologically including meditation, breathing exercises, positive affirmations and visualization. Only you can determine what best suits your personal taste and resonates with you.

Eliminate media exposure to things that make you feel bad about life, the government or your safety. Most media comes packaged with an infectious negative vibration which affects how you feel about things. Consider turning off the TV, avoiding negative news and Internet feeds, by taking a media hiatus.

Guarding your thoughts to prevent you from focusing on things that are negative will go a long way in feeling better about life. Avoid negative self-talk, which leads to poor self esteem and diminishes confidence, making you feel helpless, if not hopeless, about your life.

Start reprogramming your mind positively. Get into a routine of reciting positive affirmations, and honoring yourself by speaking words of kindness and love about you, who you are, how blessed you are, and how your life may be a blessing to others. As you retrain your mind to think more positively, you will feel better and your physiological health will also get much better. It is a fact of life.

Learning how to let go of negative emotions, like uncertainty, sadness or anger, is hugely beneficial because if you hold these feelings inside they deplete your immune system and you become more susceptible to failing health and disease.

Finding a confidant who you can trust and talk to, as well as writing out in a journal how you feel about things negatively in the past as well as in the present, or even things that may be looming in the future, can be an effective key to releasing pent up negative emotions.

These practices in self-care will make you feel better about living a better life:

Engage in stress reduction techniques
Eat food that nourishes your body and exercise
Wind down and calm yourself for a good night’s sleep every night
Limit or eliminate exposure to negative news and media
Don’t put off dealing with issues you face in life
Practice positive and loving self-talk
Do something fun, that you like, every day

And forgive yourself for everything, for after all, you are doing the best you can with what you have.

Overcoming Addictive Behaviors

As you grow and expand into a more evolved version of your formal self, there is a compulsion to separate the new you from the old you and the trappings which have enslaved you, because nothing satisfies more than overcoming addictive behaviors and being the master of your own life.

Now, compulsory thoughts, actions and habits are appearing to feel more like addictions than enjoyable activities or pastimes, and you’re intrigued with the idea of moving forward in search of freedom from anything that might enslave or imprison you.

There’s little else I love as much as seeing one of my clients and friends overcoming the rituals or habits that held them back from their enlightened independence, and to tell the truth, I am excited that you have decided to let go of a particular addiction that you have in mind, right now.

You’ve thought about it. You have it in mind. You may have even voiced your thoughts or concern about growing beyond this to your friends and family. That’s a good move, because it raises the accountability factor, putting a little added pressure to your commitment to successfully putting this habit or activity behind you. Hopefully, your family and friends will support you in this evolutionary process, and this can have an amazing impact on your success.

You may have to make adjustments to your lifestyle to avoid exposure to the triggers which initiate the addictive response. You are more likely to resist temptation by taking the precaution of eliminating the circumstances (persons, places, things) which creates the compulsory desire to engage in the thought pattern or activity you’d rather walk away from.

For instance, if you are more at risk for falling off the wagon by attending a party, don’t go to the party, at least at first. The same goes for any other setting or environment that might cause you to lose your resolve or falter.

If you are facing with a long-time addiction, one that have become more and more powerful over time and you are having difficulty with letting it go, it might be a good idea to enlist the aid of a coach or counselor to partner with for your progressive personal growth on this leg of your life’s journey. Seek out someone who has the skills and tools necessary to help you achieve your goals.

Depending on your condition, you may seek out a support group where others who are successfully in the process of overcoming similar challenges in their lives, or an intensive rehabilitation program might be considered to be appropriate. Regardless of the methodology, the goal is to put you in control of your body and brain’s will, not the other way around.

You would not engage in activities and behaviors which control us and could be harmful to yourself, or others, if you did not derive some benefit from it. In many cases, if you find yourself in a stressful situation, a particular activity may offer a sense of relief or more calm state by engaging in it.

Find new ways to put yourself in a peaceful state besides engaging in an addictive behavior. You may be surprised about how much more emotional control you can exercise by living a healthier lifestyle including positive activities, such as aerobic activities, walking, jogging, working out and yoga. Living a more active life and eating a healthier diet can give you the hormonal advantage to beat any addiction.

Adopting a positive attitude and approach to living will empower you with the courage to enable you to face and overcome any addictive behavior which might challenge you.

Remember, it’s all about control; your control over anything that controls you, which is not healthy or beneficial.

Once you have garnered control of yourself, and have control over the mechanisms that formerly controlled you, you can begin to let go of the control to continue an even greater expansion.

Congratulations to my friend, Tony, who has recently found freedom from his addictions. He, and others like him, are an inspiration to others facing what may appear to be insurmountable odds.

God bless you in your overcomings.

Natural Pain Relief

Chronic Pain Management
(the problem)

For many people chronic or persistent pain can be debilitating. It can render you incapable of experiencing the good life that abounds all around you. Doctors can medicate you in such a way so as to keep you in a mild state of pain, which further limits your ability to find joy in life, but as soon as the drug wears off, you rush to the pain medication again for some relief.

The thing with drug interventions for pain, especially long lasting pain associated with some physiological trigger, is that it can develop an addiction or dependence on an unnatural substance which leads to liver failure and a declining overall health of your biology. In other words, the pain medication, while it does offer relief, is making you susceptible to contracting other disease, bodily malfunction and deterioration, and quite frankly is slowly killing you.

There are options for natural pain relief

Throughout my life, I have had the opportunity to respond to people who have suffered from persistent and chronic pain and offered some impressive relief. Successful methods of eliminating pain which were not associated with drugs or other medical intervention included prayer, meditation, positive thinking, hypnosis, life change (living a better life), and Reiki.

All of these are sound eliminators of pain which had been suffered as a constant or persistent state for long term victims of pain. Prior to these interventions, chronic pain victims could only mask their symptoms by maintaining a medicated zombie-like state. Though this is not much quality of life, it is far better than living in constant pain. Yet, these same people were able to start new lives free of pain and were able to reverse the process of deterioration resulting from the pain and its medical management.

And it makes me wonder…

Why is it that these alternate methods of eliminating pain (instead of managing it with drugs, which have known side effects, including but not limited to resulting in death) are not taught in the colleges and universities responsible for training our health care professionals?

While our medical professionals are trained on the body’s neurology and biology, the only treatments offered as solutions include surgery and drug therapy. While these can be necessary and prudent in urgent interventions, are they all there is?

Where are the classes being taught about other known and proven therapeutic models, such as prayer, meditation, positive thinking, hypnosis, life change (living a better life), and Reiki? (a short list of all the possible healing modalities that can be found all around us, yet ignored, if not shunned, by the medical community).

While my life’s work has been more focused on the human ability to change one’s life in a powerful, transformational metamorphosis, the modalities and therapeutic sciences I have trained in and use as tools to effectuate massive changes in neurology often are effective and also used to allow sufferers of chronic pain to let go of the pain, and live highly productive lives without pain and in unexpected states of fulfillment, happiness and joy.

Eliminate pain without the threat of deterioration or death?

I don’t know about you, but to me, this is a much better potential outcome to therapeutic intervention than deterioration and death by patented medication.

I am tempted to develop a support system for alternative therapeutic models that maintain a drug-free alternative to traditional medical practices. I call many of these practitioners friends, and I so appreciate their answering the call to follow these practices and helping so many people find a better life, without pain allowing them to find fulfillment, happiness and joy.

We can do this together

If you’re practicing an alternative healing modality, contact me. I think I can help you better answer your call and help to make the world a better place.

Blessings to all the natural, alternative healers.

Thank you for all that you do.

Where is Your Credibility?

The time will come when you find yourself with the potential to be in front of a microphone and/or a camera, will you be prepared? Will you have the credibility to be considered as someone whose opinion should be respected when your 15 minutes appears? The best way to be considered to be an expertise is to establish your expertise in any given area. Whether you’re in business, or not, people will either respect what you have to say based on your credibility or not pay too much attention, because you’re just a regular guy or gal.

The truth is, if you have something to say, and you want to be taken seriously, it’s on you to establish yourself as a credible source, and it’s even more important if you’re in business, to be not just associated with your brand, logo, or public image, but to be considered as an authentic human being with something to say or contribute in making the world a better place.

If you are considered to be a thought leader in your business, organization, or community, creating a empowering, positive environment for your credible team of leaders who should also be contributing. Though not a do-it-once-and-reap-the-rewards sort of deal, aligning yourself with credible thought leaders, and seeking to recruit passionate thought leaders establishes your inhabiting and developing a higher vibration. Be forewarned, finding a credible cohort is a constant moving target and you must be educated and proactive to find, gain and develop trust among your fellow leaders.

How you conduct your business affairs will determine whether you might be considered a thought leader in the local community or the world at large.

Some things to look for that set your leaders apart from others may be easily recognizable in their promotional efforts by reviewing their online content. An authentic thought leader will have a history of producing valuable content. It doesn’t matter where it is found. If could be in social media, blogs, audio or video streams, or other content online. You will notice these people influencing their communities.

And they won’t just be posting. You will find them interacting with their audience. And effective thought leader engages in two-way communication, not only lengthy monologues. You’ll see them engaging with their audience, even when it gets dicey, when encountering someone with a different point of view.

Look for citations. If you’re looking at an authentic thought leader, he or she will have been quoted or cited in the media, or considered a respected source by other publishers, in print, broadcast or online, as well as being the recipient of awards or recognitions that have been bestowed upon him or her.

Authentic thought leaders are both approachable and accessible. They will have connection methods whereby their audience or media contacts can have access to them, whether it be by email, social media or via phone. This approachability offers access to those whom they can help or share information as well as builds confidence that he or she is authentic and is compassionate.

So, how can you establish yourself as a credible source?

Well, you’ve already had a peek at what to look for in identifying a thought leader, and it’s not as simple as it sounds. It’s one thing to be passionate about something but is an entirely different concept to take an influential stance and offering input and interaction to the community at large. This is how thought leaders make a mark on the world, by sharing and interacting, and now you have all the necessary tools to accomplish this heat in your hands.

These are powerful tools, so use them wisely.

For instance, you must have an effective social media profile. You must maintain an online presence which represents your thoughts and ideals in online social mediums such as Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Google+, etc…

As you establish your presence and share valuable information and interaction, you will create an emotional bond with people whom you can help, influence or even attract potential clients. Your interaction must originate from your heart, and not just to gain a paying client. The more you give, the more you will receive, but you must go about the business of giving, even if it is without reciprocity in the beginning.

How to Establish Your Credibility

Begin writing your thoughts, goals, ideals and share your unique perspective by posting on a blog you create for yourself. Be genuine and authentic. Make a commitment to post regularly. If you post on your blog for a while, then stop, you will not establish credibility as you will be seen as just a flash in the pan, without any real relevancy. Also avail yourself to comments and support.

Join an online group. Find places online where people gravitate and share who have a similar point of view as you do. Then interact. You may already have found these types of sites, but have only practiced in a voyeuristic fashion. Do not stalk the people you find interacting online, that is just too creepy. Establish yourself as a concerned member of the community and post comments of suggestions. Try to stay congruent with your image, and don’t let anyone catch you losing your cool (unless, of course, being frank, boisterous and a trouble maker is consistent with your brand).

Get citations. Not to be confused with traffic tickets, citations are your quotes that can be found in the media and attributed to you. Contribute to publications and sites with valuable “quotable” sound bites. Keep track of when and where your quotes are used. These increase your credibility.

Do not attempt to engage in any of these activities half-heartedly or just to cash-in or gain notoriety. People can tell if you’re a phony. And if you are a phony, you will just fade away like all the other people who tried to manipulate the Internet for their own devices in support of their narcissistic tendencies.

Place importance on your message, your personality, what makes you real. Avoid selling yourself or your services and you will build your credibility as an expert in your field.

Keep it up and it won’t be long, and you will be perceived as an expert by helping others, offering knowledge, original thought, encouraging and adding value to the otherwise mundane Internet.

Inner Child Tantrum

And then, totally unexpectedly, you burst into fight-or-flight, in an over-reactive defensive emotional outburst. After a moment, your state of mind relaxes enough to notice the expressions on the faces of the people witnessing your outburst; they must think you’re crazy. As you feel your emotions subside you’re wondering if you’re crazy, too. You know you were out of pocket, and can’t figure out what just happened.

Say, “Hello,” to your wounded inner child, who is throwing a tantrum.

Your inner child can break through and expose itself at any time, and usually expresses itself defensively, fearfully, frantically, or shamefully, in a way that is inconsistent with your normal adult state of being. Most of the time your inner child occupies the space in your mind and your heart but sometimes it breaks out in a way that encompasses your entire being.

Your inner child doesn’t always express itself negatively, it can also revel in joyous celebration in the best of times, but in most cases, your inner child hides in fear of being hurt due to wounds you may have suffered as a young child.

Since your youth you have grown into a strong adult and as you grew and matured your inner child fractured and found a safe place to reside inside you, so the more aware and physically demonstrable you could mature as you found your methods of interacting with your adult world in the most effective manner. Meanwhile, your inner child took the back seat.

Your inner child is content in hiding safely away deep inside you, but every once and a while gets it’s feelings hurt or feel threatened by something happening in your present and asserts itself, feeling its life is at risk or pitches a fit.

The inner child is always in a heightened state of awareness looking for potential threats. When something triggers it, he or she panics, initiating our instinctive reaction to either fight for life or flee in hopes of finding a safe retreat. In that moment your inner child has usurped your ability to cognitively manage your adult life. As you review the over-reaction, you can see there was no apparent threat, but your inner child perceived some detail that caused you to instinctively react as if there was a real threat.

When we are young, we find it hard to rationalize or make sense out of the injustices we suffer as a child. It isn’t long and we often realize that if we protest, we suffer negative consequences, so instead we learn to find ways to bottle up those fragile emotions and that part of ourselves which feels small and powerless fractionates from our conscious awareness and finds a safe place to hide inside of us. All that part of us wanted was to be accepted, loved, and protected, and even now, that’s all it really wants.

Therein lays the key to resolving the conflict between the adult rational part of you and your inner child.

You can give your inner child the love and acceptance he or she longs for and invite him or her to have an honored and safe place to live in your current world, where you can share life in harmony, no longer fractionated, safe and secure, with no need to hide.