March, 2016 | David M Masters

Listen: Help Someone in Personal Crisis

I’ve been in the people-helping business for a long time. Although the focus of my ministry (that’s how I refer to my work, so get over it) is not helping those in crisis, it is not uncommon for a regular client to come to a place where their life intersects with a crisis scenario.

This is one reason why I am thirsty for new modalities and methods of helping people dealing with unforeseen circumstance. Having these tools in my collection can help keep the client from being derailed and thrown off-track from their progress or goals (though it is not my specialty, so if the crisis is significant, it may be time for a time-out and referral to someone who specializes in this type of challenge).

All of us have the opportunity to help someone within our social inner circle – people we know or are well-acquainted with – who need a helping hand when encountering a life crisis.

In our attempt to help someone in crisis, are we more apt to help or harm?

Therapists, counselors and clergy all hold, “help and do no harm,” as the basis of their approach when helping others; as do the rest of us. Of course, in our attempt to help someone along their life’s journey, we would hope that our assistance would be more helpful that harmful.

When people are in crisis, they are in an altered state of mind. It is easy for us to forget this when we see someone that we care about – a friend, co-worker, relative or client – suffering when dealing with an unforeseen crisis.

Your first response to anyone in this altered state of mind is critical.

For example, let’s say your best friend from high school just happens to be in town on business, has been recently diagnosed with cancer and has been given three months to live. He or she wants to meet with you for lunch to talk.

You think, “This is great,” I know so many people who have been diagnosed with cancer and kicked it, naturally, I can’t wait to share all this information with my friend. You go about collecting all the data (personal testimonials, googled information, scriptures and sample nutrients) you can find, throw them into a wheelbarrow and rush over to help your friend kick their cancer to the curb. Hooray!

Wrong

When someone has just recently engaged with significant tragedy or bad news, their tendency is to sink into a somewhat depressed and/or angry state.

Your first interaction with them will either open them up to your assistance, or shut you out.

Being too aggressively helpful when someone is in psychological pain will result in them not being able to hear you. Unless they are asking you for ideas (and even so, please proceed with some restraint) their most important need is to be able to get rid of some of the frustration that they feel inside.

What they really need is someone to listen

In most cases to help someone in the best way possible is to just listen to what they have to say.

Establish trust by promising them confidentiality in regards to anything they might say – and be true to your word. Anything that they say doesn’t leave this room.

Let them use whatever terms or phrases that they feel like using, without judgment or interjection. Allowing them to vent freely without restriction is the best help you can offer in an initial sitting with someone in crisis.

Simply nod, actively listening, agree and/or encourage them to continue while they are letting it all out.

Then, when they have said all they have to say… pick your best five words to say – no more – and make an appointment to meet them to talk again.

In doing so, you have established – with this person who is currently in a weakened state of mind – you care. If they are agreeing to meet with you again, then you can slowly and gently, offer advice (suggestions, not demands) and interact with them more, being careful not to appear non-compassionate, intolerant, have a lack of understanding or result in their alienating you.

If you truly want to help, consider, “being there,” for the people that you care about with compassion.

Show them you care by letting them share.

4 Steps to Specialize On Purpose

When you come to this planet with a specific purpose or calling, it is important to:

Determine your purpose, calling and/or message

In my working with individuals, most of them feel a strong disconnect with their higher purpose, calling and/or message to share with the community at large. When you arrive on planet earth, you are keenly aware of your special attributes/purpose, but by the time you’ve reached the age of seven, you’ve been re-programmed to make you a more logical person, less likely to embrace the thought of fanciful ideals. You are taught to believe that to be a more productive participant in our society you must dumb yourself down (though we refer to it as smartening up) and accept that your school grades and playing well with others will secure you a good enough job to get by.

There are many methods that I use to help someone re-discover their purpose. In my practice, the most effective is thinking back to your earliest recollection of what someone wanted to do or be, then weighing that against what types of people and circumstances have been attracted to you throughout your life. In many cases, the results of this collection of data will help you remember your mission.

Define by reducing to qualifying statements

Create a list of statements that help you to define your purpose, mission and/or message in this life. This can be as long a list as you like. I have a long list and a short list of statements that qualify who I am, like:

I have a desire to help make the world a better place
I help others achieve their highest and best
I work with people who are upwardly mobile (on the upswing)
I work with people who take responsibility and action
I allow others to compensate me for my efforts
Love is the most important thing

This short list of six items (it’s actually five items with a Love trump card) helps me to quickly pre-qualify the people that I work with.

Everyone’s calling and short-list is different. You have to determine what works best for you. Once you have your list, it will help you…

Determine your audience

Who are the people whom you were sent here to interface with the most? You are only one person, you are limited to time and space, so defining your audience will help you keep on-track.

This could also be your target market. Your life’s data collection will help you determine who to keep an eye out for so that you can quickly identify them. I start with reducing my clientele into a single individual representation of the group.

What’s he look like? How old is he? What does he like to do in his free-time? What is his relationship status? Etc… Then I give him a name, like Tom. Though Tom can take many forms, knowing who he is will help me quickly identify him, maximizing my time and space.

Commit to, “specialize on purpose”

Specializing on purpose refers to staying true to your cause. Frances Hesselbein tells Jerry Porras, there is “a powerful synergy when you combine service to others with passion for your own mission, your own work.”

Society has tried to keep you from exercising your gifts, abilities and delivering your message. Now that you are back on track for the greater good, other forces may try to dissuade you from staying in resonance with your truer self or accomplishing your mission.

Using your list can help you to laser-focus on your mission and the people that you were meant to serve, helping you to

a. Eliminate distractions

Inevitably you will be interrupted by people, circumstances, projects and ideas that will break your concentration and commitment to achieve your highest and best in the most efficient manner.

b. Increase effectiveness

Maximize your efforts by being able to quickly determine, “This is a distraction,” or, “This is not my ministry,” (my favorite). Which allows me to be able to defer the distraction to someone whose life’s calling is to specialize in that area of expertise.

Just some ideas in the event that you feel compelled to achieve your highest and best and dare to do so.

-Love, love, love

Everything is Connected and Perfect?

While traversing the path we choose along our life’s journey, it’s easy to get surprised, distracted, frightened or angry when obstacles arise, seemingly out of nowhere.

It happens to us all, and we can choose to experience the negative impact of suddenly facing a situation or circumstance that we could not have possibly anticipated.

I like to start by considering what all things have in common. That everything that we can access via our five senses is composed of the same elements, of a similar origin.

Everything is connected

If the earth is basically a closed system, the atomic and molecular components (basically) are formed and reformed into anything and everything that we can see, touch, taste, smell and/or hear. Sharing the same molecules (though assembled differently) makes the pebble on the beach my shirt-tailed cousin.

In this way, I am related to everything in, on and around our planet (and even the universe). My relationship with the individual components (or assembly of molecules) varies. My relationship with the pen I hold in my hand and my son are quite different, yet it is all connected. In fact, the conscious force that bonds all molecules and maintains their particular assembly permeates everything – living or not – all things seen and unseen; everything.

Everything happens at the right time

Most will agree that timing is extremely important in our relative experience, here on this planet. Babies are born at just the right time, a cake is best when baked at the right temperature for the right number of minutes, etc… Being able to agree on the mutual measuring of time and calibrating each one to the other, helps us to maximize our interactions while we are here.

So, here we are living out our lives, getting up on time, eating on time, traveling to and from work on time, showing up at theaters on time, going to sleep on time, like we’re all part of this planet’s clockwork.

Then something unexpected interrupts our timeline experience. An accident, loss of something or someone, an act of God…

How can everything happen at the right time? Even the bad stuff?

Yes; there are no mistakes.

What, then, is the purpose of seemingly bad things that happen at unexpected times?

Everything is perfectly perfect

I know at first thought, this might be difficult to wrap your head around, but hang in there with me and consider this:

Everything happens for a reason, at the perfect time, for the perfect outcome, every time; period.

Granted, we are surprised when some things occur that we had not previously anticipated and may be associated with a painful – or enjoyable – experience at the time of occurrence. Even so, everything is always getting better.

You know this is true by reviewing your own experience(s) along your life’s journey thus far.

Invariably, in my life, when I’ve experienced some tragic moments in my life… it always led to something different – and in most cases – something better! I couldn’t see it at the time, but there it was, something far better waiting just around the corner.

Something so much different, that had I continued uninterrupted on the path I was traveling at the time, I would never have been able to intersect with it. It would have been impossible.

Now, when something unexpected happens (after the initial shock) I try to pull myself together and very early on, these days, I begin looking around for the amazing thing that will come from this.

This gives me the wherewithal to embrace a greater sense of peace, to

Relax, love and enjoy the show.

Everything is connected, everything happens at the right time, everything is perfectly perfect; so relax, love and enjoy the show.

Think about it

What Can I Do for You?

You are such a blessing to others offering love, support and assistance… Greeting others with, “What can I do for you?”

There are those of us who come to this planet with a servant’s heart. That is to say that we thrive when serving others. I am a person whose optimal performance shines when assisting someone to achieve their highest and best and for me, in my work, little is more exciting than being in the room when someone achieves a breakthrough or epiphany.

Many occupations in our society are being performed by those who perform at their best, engaging all their skills for the betterment of another. You find these mild-mannered super heroes in jobs, like child care, church work, clergy, coaching, consulting, counselors, emergency response personnel, firefighters, military service, missionaries, nursing and health care, social workers and volunteers, etc…

The persons, who are born with a servant’s heart, are willing to put aside their own personal wants, needs and desires aside so that others can survive or thrive. You will find many of them serving in a full-time capacity and volunteering their free time to help even more.

I am quite impressed that a firefighter chooses an occupation that requires their running into a burning building to help whomever might need their assistance getting out – and they love it – this is their calling. Now, I might run into a burning building to save someone, but I would not want to have to work a job that had me doing that all day long.

Fortunately for us, there are those whose hearts and skills are more attuned to service work, relishing and performing tasks for the greater good. Although someone who tends to be a giver, they can be easily taken advantage of and it is impossible for these people to give to everyone, all the time, without risk to their ability to perform their practice at all.

It is in our best interest to monitor these high functioning service workers to see if they appear to be giving too much. Are they depleting their personal resources? Are they being manipulated by abusers or users who will drain (or monopolize) their resources? Are they sacrificing their own needs too much (rest, eating right, health maintenance, time with their own family, etc…)?

Let’s keep a watchful eye out for those who might have a tendency to sacrifice all, and help them to notice that it’s okay to take some time out for themselves, to take a break, to eat a good meal, to spend time with loved ones, to take a vacation, a spa day – do something fun once and a while. Because oftentimes, the best givers are maintaining such a high level of giving, that they fail to take a moment to look at their own lives.

These mostly unsung super heroes receive expressions of gratitude and sometimes recognition or praise for their courageous acts of service but there is nothing more meaningful to someone who gives, and gives… as hearing those few words that they speak often when arriving on scene or meeting someone:

What can I do for you?

To those givers – who are giving your all – for the greater good, I honor your service.

And don’t be offended, when someone tries to get you to take a look at your own life, encouraging you to take some time to recharge and rejuvenate, so that you are better for continued service, without the threat of burnout (or worse).

Where would we be without you?

Keep an open mind and cherish those who support you in kind.

Loving you and all that you do

What Kind of Cat Are You?

The Success Catechism

Enjoy 9 lives of fun-filled happiness, health, financial freedom and loving feline-ness by embracing your inner-cat.

Connect with your purr-fect message, mission and purpose to maximize your cat-tribution to the world.

Find out what kind of cat you Are

Are you a

Happy Cat

The happy cat is also known as the life of the party cat. Happy cats are gregarious fun-loving, interactive cats likely lifting the spirits of and encouraging other cats to lighten up and not take cat-life so seriously. They are extroverts, talkers,and optimists. These charismatic cats are highly creative out-of-the-box thinkers that can adapt to any environmental setting finding it easy to blend in. They are less likely to finish what they started, as they don’t like to be burdened with details that are mundane or not enjoyable.

Happy cats are naturally expressive emotionally and non-assertive talkers, storytellers, have good sense of humors, have a memory for color, they’re emotional and enthusiastic.

On the happy cat’s darks side, they talk compulsively, are likely to interrupt, are prone to exaageration and elaboration. They are obsessed wtih trivia, can’t remember names, can be intimidating (thier enthusiasm and boldness can frighten some people).

Happy cats make good performers, promoters, composers, salespeople, actors, speakers, masters of ceremonies, politicians and clergy. Happy cats can make good health care workers with their excellent bedside manner.

Some well-known happy cats include Robin Williams, Elvis Presley, Elizabeth Taylor, “Magic” Johnson, Madonna, Ernest Hemingway, Mel Brooks, Barbra Streisand, Clint Eastwood and Michael Jordan

Scaredy Cat

While the scaredy cat might appear to be more introverted or timid (don’t let their timid exterior fool you, underneath is a fierce and courageous defender and protector) than other cats, this cat is likely to put the needs of other cats above their own, willing to sacrifice their own needs, wants or desires, for a sense of doing the right thing for the right reason to the benefit of someone else or the community at large. The scaredy cat is pessimistic, thinks a lot, is prone to suspicion, very analytical, often attempts to reduce shades of gray into black and white and can be somewhat of a perfectionist.

They are deep and thoughtful, probably a genius, talented and creative, atristic, musically inclined, philosophical, and poetic. They appreciate beauty and acknowledge the positive attributes of others.

Scaredy cats make great artists, musicians, philosophers, educators, scientists, engineers, inspectors and theologians. Due to their attention to detail, scaredy cats are proficient (trade and artistic) craftspeople.

Their dark side include remembering the negatives, moody and depressed. They enjoy being hurt, possess false humility, and low self-image.

Not very adept at communicating emotionally with other cats and non-assertive

You will find scardy cats in profesisons such as artists, musicians, inventors, philosophers, doctors, and nurses.

Some well-known scaredy cats include Marilyn Monroe, Michael J. Fox, John Travolta, Ernest Hemingway, Vincent Van Gogh, Beethoven, Warren Buffet, J. P. Morgan, Princess Diana and Mother Teresa.

Cool Cat

Cool cats are mild-mannered introspective felines that are the helpers that take up the care giving and nurturing of the larger population of cats. They are the respected leaders of the gentler persuasion who enjoy their private time at home and are prolific researchers and readers. Cool cats, while they maintain a variety of interests are experts in relaxation techniques and form long-lasting relationships with other cats. Excellent at “duck and cover.”

Cool cats are introverts, observers, and pessimists. Low-key personalities, easy-going and relaxed, calm, cool and collected. They are normally well-balanced, have a consistent life, quiet but witty,

Cool cats are well suited for careers in counseling, healing arts, institutional administration, accountant, statistician, teachers, technicians, civil service, diplomats, military and local government. Cool cats are good educators for primary education as well as high school and college educators.

Cool cats are naturally expressive emotionally when they are pushed or under pressure and more apt to be assertive. On thier dark side, they are unenthusiastic, fearful and worried, indecisive, avoid responsibility, selfish, too shy and too compromising.

Some well-known cool cats include Keanu Reeves, Audrey Hepburn, J.K. Rowling, Johnny Depp, Issac Asimov, Ayn Rand, Walt Disney, Bill Gates, Steve Wozniak and Nikola Tesla.

Battle Cat

The alpha cat, most comfortable running the show. The battle cat is more egocentric and adept at leading with authority, though maintaining a, “My way or the highway,” form of management. These are ambitious cats and foster productive work environments. Battle cats are capable of maintaining high levels of energy and passion over long periods of time, being quite relentless. Following a battle (figuratively) the battle cat will likely be the last cat standing.

They are extroverts, doers, and optimists, the leaders, producers, and builders of the world. They’re born leaders, dynamic and active, compulsive need for change, feel compelled to correct wrongs, strong-willed and decisive. May also be considered unemotional.

The battle cat’s dark side consists of traits such as egotistical, bossy, impatient, quick tempered, can’t relax. They enjoy controversy and won’t give up even if they’re losing.

Battle cats will find themselves most comfortable in professions such as inventor, architect, supervisor, contractor, entrepreneur and military (or paramilitary) leadership. Since battle cats are often less concerned with being restricted by morals may make good dictators or gangsters.

Not very adept at communicating emotionally with other cats and very assertive

Some well-known battle cats include Oprah Winfrey, Tom Cruise, Jane Fonda, Shirley MacLaine, Alec Baldwin, Dr. Phil, Nancy Grace, Margaret Thatcher, Donald Trump and Judge Judy.

Your Catalyst

The most successful teams and organizations are made up of a wide-reaching cat-a-list or catalog representing of all kinds of cats. Knowing what kind of cat you are will help you to find other cats to support you on the way to massive effectiveness and having the life you always dreamed of.

Many cats are a cross-breed of two or more cat-types, and that’s okay, though you probably will find that you have one cat-type that is dominant.

Don’t try to be all the cats at once (battle cats often do this out of frustration, saying something like, “Aw, just forget it; I’ll do it myself!”). You will find your journey more enjoyable being the kind of cat that you are, and making partnerships with other cats who have the tendencies that do not come naturally to you.

Don’t let your nine lives end in cat-tastrophy.

Embrace your inner cat and start putting yourself in situations where your true cat purr-sonality shine through in all its cataclysmic glory.

Don’t wait another minute, take action meow!

Inspirational Credit: Hippocrates’ cat (415 BC)

What Are They Saying Behind My Back?

What do you say about me behind my back?

That thought is enough to drive a person crazy.

In your reality, what does it matter what someone says behind your back?

What if it’s my husband or wife?

Okay, I’ll give you that one. Even though it doesn’t really matter what he/she says about you behind your back, it can be a form of spousal abuse, certainly a betrayal of trust, so concern and action could be justified.

And I’ll give you criminal defamation and false accusations (could even be filed in court) may propose a threat to your survivability, so action might need to be taken to defend yourself.

But what I’m referring to is the murmuring that people do behind your back that seems to concern us so much. We can spend too much emotional effort worrying about what other people say.

I remember the first time that people started talking about me behind my back. It was after I exited the ministry. People just couldn’t wrap their heads around any rational reason that would justify what they perceived as me bailing out on God. So they talked… and rumors spread… some of the ones that made their way back to me were hateful, hurtful (and some were) hilarious.

I ended up relocating and I figure they found someone else to talk about. I’m so grateful that they didn’t have Facebook back then.

Years later, people started talking about me behind my back after a direct encounter with a criminal psychopath and his family. This time, it was post social media, and the defamation spread across the Internet, including twitter and Facebook.

What to do?

My philosophy to start with is:

I’m not interested in what you say about me… unless it’s true.

I am not going to dignify any false accusation with a response; so don’t even ask.

That is my personal policy. I really don’t care what other people say; but I think that if you’re going to jump on the ill-report-train, you would be better served doing some fact-checking before doing so. I’m just sayin’, you don’t want to look like the fool when the truth comes out.
Sure, people can use the Internet to cyberbully you but does it really matter?

I have a lot of friends who monitor their social media accounts like a hawk. The slightest negative comment sends them on the rampage. So, what about the haters?

There are going to be haters and thanks to the Internet, these otherwise silly-low-self-esteemers can hide behind their computer screens, tablets or phones and feel like a big, powerful bully by slamming someone on the Internet.

So let them. What’s the harm in that? Is what they said true?

In fact, I have a client who prays for people to talk bad about him on social media. Why? Because he’s in business and when a hater rallies against him, his sales increase. It’s not based on, “all publicity is good publicity – even if it’s bad,” it’s more like he benefits from having his name out there, and for people who have not heard about him, they fact check. The fact checking by an otherwise unknown potential client, turns into a sale and a satisfied customer. Go figure.

I like holding onto a phrase from the Bible (Genesis 50:20) that states:

“You meant evil against me, but God meant it for good”

It’s like you’re intention was to defraud, defame, hurt or destroy me but there was a higher purpose that came through.

When I was dealing with the defamation by the psychopath and his family, I let it go. When people would walk up to me and ask, “What about?” or “I heard…” I would simply reply, “I don’t know where you heard that, but you should go back and check for facts.”

Other than that, Masters don’t respond to nonsense.

And if you don’t respond, what happens? It just fades away.

If you feed the fire with a response in your defense, now it requires more energy – by the messenger, the reporter, the accuser and you. Do you want to go there?

You have to decide which battles you want to wage, and which you can walk away from.
For, me? I don’t care what they say, unless it’s true.

Looking for a Fight?

We all have been programmed to feel threatened by others who don’t believe as we do.

So arguing, fighting and various acts of war abound.

Due to our built-in fight or flight response, it’s a wonder that we can find ways to get along at all…

It helps to create groups that agree to believe similarly; and that works for the most part, until one group challenges the beliefs of the other.

Back in my ministerial days, I was blessed to be able to interact with other ministers in cross-denominational platforms. First, with Teen Challenge, then by joining a the local Ministerial League made up of ministers from all denominations meeting regularly to devise projects that we could perform collectively for the greater good of the community.

Even when bonded by a commitment to work together with people of differing views, at times it can get complicated and tempers may raise – even among the most spiritual of people.

It’s the same in relationships. I have conducted many wedding ceremonies, and I am disappointed that the people that I brought together in the marriage bond follow the same basic statistics about marriage longevity.

When two people in love come together to make a stand against all others for the sake of the relationship, I know of no higher – more spiritual – commitment. Being somewhat of a romantic, I fall in love with the idea of being in love every time I see a happy couple.

But unfortunately, there is that thing that gnaws away at you from inside your head, that everyone is out to get me, and I must either fight or flee. So, lack of trust, secrecy, unfaithfulness and betrayal rear their ugly heads, leading to relationship failure.

This breakdown of love, peace and harmony happens between all people and peoples. Some say that is due to the function of the ego… I propose another idea:

What if the religious texts that refer to a creator who sent his/her former right-hand-man/woman and one-third of his/her resources to have free rein over the people of this planet.

Don’t bail, yet, I’ve already disclosed my religious roots. Hang in there and continue to consider:

What if the creator who has allowed things to run amok, has placed within each of us a sacred purpose or message to share with the greater community that would make the world a better place, including a spiritual component that would seek to reestablish connection with the creator?

And if I get you to ponder along, just for the fun of it…

Let’s pretend that you are the one in charge of all the planet’s peoples and the last thing that you want is for these creatures to thrive or in any way establish a real connection with the creator. What scenarios might you come up with in an effort to manage and manipulate the populations?

What if everything that we know and/or believe is a manipulation?

This is simply a “what if” philosophical exercise, to cause you to think outside yourself for a moment. I have no agenda and am not promoting any belief system.

We know that there is a battle raging all over our planet – and its not between us and them – it’s the battle of me that takes place between my head and my heart.

The war that we wage is not against flesh and blood; it is not against principalities and powers.

The fight is not between good and evil, right and wrong.

Righteous warriors are not swayed by propaganda or attempts to control the minds of the masses.

The enlightened battle is waged to advance empowering the heart and soul for peace and a better world.

Should Believers be Bullying?

Question

a) How does it make you feel when someone tries to bully you or push their ideals or beliefs on you?

b) If someone strongly opposed something that you believed in, how likely would a disrespectful presentation sway your belief?

(Don’t answer in comments)

Think about it… Do you like to be bullied?

What about that person that is passionate about something that he/she believes in? He/she doesn’t know you and shares his/her perspective on an idea or concept that you don’t agree with. You listen, at first because you’re being kind and considerate.

Then when they get the idea that you do not agree with them… Here it comes: the onslaught of data, facts and figures to convince you that their beliefs are the only truth. Still you maintain the idea that you disagree with their point of view.

Now the passionate person escalates even more, resorts to name-calling and may even include veiled threats that your life – or the lives of your family and friends – might be at stake because you choose not to listen to his/her truth.

And that is an example of a passive response. What if you had decided to defend your point of view?

Now, it turns into a full on debate, which in some cases has escalated to fisticuffs and/or death; over what, differing opinions?

Debate has never converted anyone. All it does is to help build walls that turn into elaborate fortresses of information, data and hate in a desperate attempt to protect something that is believed in. Where does that get you?

People have shared ideas with me that – at the time – infuriated me because I felt as though they had just approached me with the most ridiculous idea; it went against everything that I knew and believed in. But I let them tell me their story out of my respect for their right to believe whatever they want.

Sometimes, in cases like this, we both walk away from the conversation the same way we came into it (maybe even thinking that they other person was a crack-pot)… then, something happens… days, weeks, months – maybe years – go by, and something that person said begins to make more sense to me than what I previously believed.

And that little seed that someone planted begins to sprout and grow… (Maybe not the way the person who originally shared the idea with me in the first place had intended) and I start to grow.

I’ll tell you what I like.

I like giving anyone enough space to express themselves respectfully. If I see them getting too excited (unless I’m enjoying their over-the-top expression) I might warn them that their delivery is getting in the way of their message; so if they calm down, I will be able to take in more of what they are trying to say.

Sometimes it’s hard not defend yourself when someone is sharing an idea that you don’t agree with.

If you’ve ever been able to participate in a heated boardroom meeting, you know what I mean. Here’s a group of upstanding, relatively calm businessmen, each with their own opinion about how a thing should be done… passionately; as if their lives and the lives of their children hung in the balance.

People, who argue and fight, generally prevent themselves from a great deal of happiness in their lives and are more prone to health decline and most of them are unable to achieve much in terms of expanded life-span.

Here’s the thing: When someone does something that you don’t like; that’s okay.

It is their right to do their thing, just as it is for you to do yours.

It only becomes your issue, if someone interrupts your rights directly. Then, and only then, is action justified.

Bless everyone’s right to find their own way. To dishonor someone else’s right to individuality only drags us backward in our evolution.

Never be moved to hate or disrespect; instead boldly carry the torch of tolerance for others to see the light of love and freedom.

How these statements make you feel, reflects in your own mirror.

No judgment here; just something to think about.

Join the Evolution

~ I love you

Anything is Possible… Everything Is

I’ve spent most of my life in the personal and professional growth industry, surrounding myself with clients and mentors who are striving to be on the leading edge or have a burning desire to help make the world a better place. I have been blessed to work with some of the best minds in the mind sciences.

One common theme that runs throughout the waves of thought that permeate the sea of higher consciousness, is the belief that, “anything is possible.”

Under normal circumstances, people are programmed to doubt their own sense of value – even though they came to this planet with a unique set of skills, abilities and unique message to share with the local community or the world – feeling as though they were not qualified to be a worthy messenger.

Usually, when I begin working with someone they are already on the path of achieving their highest and best or at the very least they have knowingness that their life is beckoning them to a higher calling and sense of fulfilled purpose.

Personal performance coaches start with the tenant of getting the client to a baseline understanding that there is ample well-documented, verifiable proof of things once thought to be impossible became possible starting with the thought that anything is possible.

This is not a new concept, as even New Testament’s Jesus proclaims that all things are possible for he who believes (Mark 9:23) and many have gone on since to spread these words with different themes attached to it for clarity in certain situations, such as:

“If you believe in yourself anything is possible” or “Impossible only means that you haven’t found the solution yet.” A scientist-and-engineer friend of mine (referring to a quote by Henry Ford) says, “Anything is possible, with enough time and money.”

Celebrities have chimed in with their varied view about anything being possible:

“With self-discipline, most anything is possible.” ~ Theodore Roosevelt
“The best scientist is open to experience and begins with romance – the idea that anything is possible.” ~ Ray Bradbury
“Nothing is impossible. The word itself says ‘I’m possible’.” ~ Audrey Hepburn
“If you lead with passion anything is possible.” ~ Paula Abdul
“Once you chose hope, anything is possible.” ~ Christopher Reeve
“Anything is possible, if you’ve got enough nerve.” ~ J.K. Rowling
“When doubt is banished, abundance flourishes and anything is possible.” ~ Wayne Dyer

Even when Alice in Wonderland says, “This is impossible.” The Mad Hatter counters with, “Only if you believe it is.”

All this to say, anything that has ever been conceived, discovered or achieved was birthed in the thought that anything (currently believed to be impossible) is indeed possible – and someone believed it with enough fortitude – and had undertaken the task of making it so.

Napoleon Hill said, “Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve.”

We believe that anyone – yes, even you – have everything that you need to bring this thing to pass; and for some of us, it is our mission in life to support the efforts of an inspired individual to achieve the impossible.

But wait! There’s more!

Believing that anything is possible is only the beginning. Yes, it can get you from here to there and beyond.

There is a superior concept that lies ahead in the horizon, that once it is truly grasped, changes everything and the belief that all things are possible begins to fade as one begins to understand:

Everything Is

I’ll let you ponder that one…

Anything is Possible (you’re almost there)… Everything Is

Can’t We All Just Get Along?

In our societal structure there appears to be a prevalence of superiority that requires maintenance in order to secure our separateness while keeping us – as a collective whole – somewhat manageable. In an attempt to manage ourselves (whether we are influenced from other sources to do so is up for debate) we create societal expectations, rules, punishable and enforceable laws.

Can’t we all just get along?

Remember when we were kids? It seemed like there were so many expectations and rules; “Really? I just want to have fun!” It’s not like we were going to hurt someone or rob a bank…

I recall thinking that if I ever lived long enough to have kids I would just let them be. I would be the parent that I wanted to have when I was growing up. Then, not long after, I found myself raising a family and having to manage a house full of individuals all trying to make their own way, separately but still under the same roof.

One-by-one, rules were established to help keep the peace; don’t touch your sibling when he or she is safety-belted in the car. Don’t disassemble a sibling’s gift to find out how it works (or looks inside). Don’t call your siblings names. Don’t blame your sibling for something you did. Don’t hit inanimate objects, don’t hit animate objects; don’t hit anything.

Don’t set up your sibling to get in trouble to prove your level of parental manipulation prowess. Eat your vegetables, no sugar after six p.m. and don’t play your music so loud; just to name a few.

It doesn’t take long and you say to yourself, “Oh, my god, I turned into my parents!”
Your children despise your house of rules, yet you maintain your restraint level(s) to maintain safety and security, for the sake of the family and in the hopes that your children will grow into responsible adults. Then, something amazing happens:

One day, when you go over to their house to visit them and your grandchildren, they apologize for resenting all the rules (my daughter-in-law has 749 rules to manage the peace in their home), while I (now the grandparent) get to frolic, play and help my grandchildren find loopholes in the rules. Ha!

I can’t help but think, if I knew then what I know now, would I have done things differently? Without a doubt: Absolutely.

Then, I think about how this model mimics society as a whole. We are just as reactive when we create laws to govern individuals within our community. We start as a Utopia with no restrictions, until someone engages in an activity that we would not like to see repeated, so we make a law regarding it.

So many laws; so many restrictions, and we rarely if ever review the old ones, while we pile new ones on top of them. Will it ever end?

When all we really need is two laws:
1. Do whatever you want
2. Don’t interfere with anyone else’s right to do what they want

That means you can do whatever you want – even if we have been programmed to believe that an activity is bad or socially unacceptable – do it; but don’t let your activity impinge on another’s right to enjoy their life.

Maybe it’s impossible to change our legal system or the world for that matter; but I can change me.

I can love my fellow human beings more. I can learn to allow them to find their own way and do their own thing (as long as it doesn’t interfere with someone else’s right to do likewise).

I believe that tolerance is the next step in human evolution.

When you think about it; it removes all resistance as you simply allow what is to be.

Tolerance is love expressed to the Nth degree.

Maybe it’s time to consider letting go – just a little bit – and try it on for size. Tolerance could have a huge impact in the peaceful enjoyment experienced in your life.

Or not.