Blog | David M Masters

Angry Much?

Every once and a while, you are likely to lose your grip, allow anger to overtake you and lead you into an emotional display that, depending on how you handle it, could have negative or positive ramifications.

While it’s easy to give in to your emotions when they well up inside of you, there are other alternatives that can give you control of anger, or any other emotions if you are proactive and inclined to do the work necessary to make yourself the master of your emotions.

People are always their weakest when they are angry.

Knowing what anger is, and what causes it to rise up inside you, is a good place to start when trying to tame this wildcat.

Anger is a fear-based negative emotion fueled by the stress hormone, “cortisol,” that could be triggered by nearly anything, such as, pressure from school or work, unexpected change, challenging life circumstances, feeling as though you’re being attacked (or lorded over) by other people, as well as underlying fears like feeling threatened, perception of impending pain, jealousy, disappointment, low self-esteem, fear of failure, or loss.

Giving in to the emotion of anger can actually have a detrimental effect on your physical, psychological and spiritual health. When you are enveloped by anger, your heart rate speeds up, blood pressure builds, stress hormones are released en masse which creates a toxic cocktail for your body and its associated systems.

Think early physiological deterioration, aging, and failing organ function, memory loss, acute minor motor skills, reaction time, just to name a few.

Getting a handle on your anger is one of the best ways to look younger, increase your quality of life and longevity.

Keeping a list handy where you can note when you are triggered to feel anger and what caused the emotion to make you start to feel angry would help to get an idea of when you might be most susceptible to a potentially volatile outburst.

When you’re experiencing a calm state of mind, and are willing to set aside a few minutes to do so, make a list of things that you can think of that make you angry.

To give you an idea, here’s a copy of a client’s list (used by permission):

• When I get an automated computer voice and a long list of numbered options when I call a business for assistance
• Dealing with impatient customers at work
• Having to deal with my mother-in-law (she doesn’t like me much)
• Crazy drivers on the highway during my commute
• Checking my stock values and finding they’ve decreased again

Here are some ideas that help keep the wild beast at bay when you’re feeling like your bubble of calm is about to burst

Chill out; literally. Grabbing something cold and refreshing, like a frozen drink (or a drink with a lot of ice), a slushee, shaved ice or ice cream can hit the spot, and the temperature jolt to your system can have a calming effect, reducing your potential angry outburst.

Take an exhilarating break by taking a walk, or a hike (subject to time and available access). This helps take care of your body, while cortisol (the stress hormone) subsides and is overrun by happy and healthy hormones, such as endorphins, endocannabinoids, dopamine, and serotonin.

If you’re in a private place, you can always crank up the tunes, dance to the music, or sing along as best you can to your favorite song(s).

Write a letter. You don’t have to send it, just write out your emotions, how this person, place or thing made you feel angry. If you’re keeping an anger diary, be sure to leave space for something good that happened today, also.

Do things differently. If you’re exposed to an activity regularly during your day which set off your anger response, alter your routine so as to avoid that particular trigger (like taking an alternative route to and from work, etc.).

These are just a few ideas to get you started on taking charge of your anger, placing you in the driver’s seat of your emotional storage facility.

Knowing what sets you off, and having some tools to interrupt your pattern can move you quickly toward a healthy, happier life, shaving years off your appearance and supporting your long and more satisfying life.

What Is Your Mission?

What is your mission?
Show me.

If you’re really serious about carrying out your life’s mission, you have it clearly defined and written out. Why? Because you will need to refer to this every once and a while to see if you’ve been distracted, or thrown off track by life and its many detours.

In the event, you haven’t created a hard copy of your life’s mission, when is now a good time to write your life’s mission.

Although it may sound overwhelming, you need to approach delineating your life’s mission as a continual work in progress, just like you. Having an idea of your life’s mission clearly defined helps you focused on the work which is in alignment with your purpose, and this is subject to change according to changes and growth in your life as you traverse along your life’s journey.

Before you start writing your mission down on paper (or on your device) it will be helpful to do a quick inventory of your unique skills, talent, and special abilities. Also, take into account when you find yourself “in the zone,” doing the things that you are passionate about and/or activities, that when you’re fully engaged in them, time just seems to disappear.

Create a visualization of what your best day ever might look. See it clearly in your mind’s eye. If you could have your life any way you wanted it, what would it look like? Make your wildest fantasy-day part of your life’s mission.

Write down a list of the things which are the most important to you. The issues which you feel strongly and represent your core values.

Taking all these things in consideration, answer the question,

What am I here for?

In other words, assuming you came to this planet with a specific mission to accomplish, the reason for your being here (which you did), what would it be?

Your inventory of your unique skills, talent and special abilities, passions, what your perfect day might look like and your core values all support your mission. They are part of your being, who you are, and are specially formulated for you and the accomplishment of your mission.

Everything you need to accomplish your life’s mission was placed inside you before you were born and in the best-case scenario grew matured and you honed these special skills along the way to today. In others, their innate abilities may have been suppressed or neglected, in this case, it’s time to start allowing them to come to life.
Now, you have a map that will point the way to your life’s mission. You may not have a clear picture of it yet, but do the best you can, knowing that it will become more and more clear as you start working toward achieving it.

Revise you mission as necessary along the way.

If you have no clear idea about your mission, there is little hope that you will do a very good job of accomplishing it.

So, what is your mission?

Show me.

Where Am I? Lost?

You’ve stepped out of the fog of socially acceptable “normalcy” to forge your own individual path creating leading to a higher vibratory life’s journey. It’s exhilarating, as you continue to grow, change and see things from new, fresh perspectives.

You’re having such an enjoyable time of it, then you stop to survey your surroundings, finding yourself in unfamiliar territory, your first reaction is to panic as you realize that you don’t know where you are and you haven’t even left a trail of breadcrumbs to follow back to safety.

Other fear-based emotions start to set in, you feel your vibration descending and you’re wondering if this whole journey is all it’s cracked up to be?

Where am I? Lost?

Although you might not be able to see it on the surface, but this place, while it might appear to be desolate, scary, maybe a little dangerous, is the most amazing place that you can find yourself in, because you are in a state-changing transition position.

Of course, when you find yourself in these unfamiliar surroundings, you can retreat in fear of what lies ahead (which there’s no harm in that) or you can do what you can to gain your composure, center yourself as best you can, and with as much a calculable sense of direction as possible, keep making your way forward, in anticipatory expectations of something so amazing coming your way.

It is reasonable to expect to leave some of your old self behind, this triggers your sense of danger because a part of you will be dying as you move beyond this inconvenient and uncomfortable place.

This part of you does not want to be left behind, and there’s a part of you that is frightened about leaving it behind due to its having been a part of you for so long. It’s hard to imagine going on without it. That’s why so many people, take it by the hand and retreat to find a way to sustain it, and that’s okay, if you’ve determined it’s not your time to move on.

No one can tell you when it’s time for your transition, only you can know when you’re ready to take the leap.

There’s a part of you that knows you’re not alone in all this, and certainly this is very true, God, the creator of the universe, and everything terrestrial, extra-terrestrial and beyond is there with all the power, support, and has placed all the tools, skills and special abilities to make it through this trying time.

When I find myself in these dark places, I immediately start to look for something more amazing on the horizon and I start making arrangements and calculations to navigate toward it, not matter how my feelings might be telling me just the opposite. This is counter-intuitive and not come easily for me. I have only learned this due to my own experiences of being in my deepest darkest unfathomable depths in my life; and every time, “every time,” something so amazing was waiting for me on the other side of transformation. And, when I felt God was not there, may have never been there, ever, He and all his angels were surrounding me all along; just hard to imagine when you’re in that dark place.

Knowing this doesn’t make the pain or suffering of the transition process any less so, but if you’re like me, there is an enthusiastic expectation that things will get better. Not only better, but so exponentially better, it’s hard not to be excited about the possibilities, even when you’re in the depths of despair.

This moment, though it feels like it could last forever, is temporary, even though it could last for several days to a few years for the transformation to take place.

Don’t give up.

I know it’s hard to wrap your head around the idea of there being any quality of life waiting for you beyond this experience, but it’s always true that,

All things work together for good

Nothing could be more true, even when it seems like the most unlikely possibility.

These is not an empty quote, affirmation, or phrase used to just get you through this rough spot.

What can I do?

You can offer up as little resistance as possible and allow that part of you to come up, so that you can deal with it and allow it to die off. Stay strong, faithful and true to you and your purpose in this life.

Don’t lean on your own understanding, you can’t muscle or think your way through this process as it is a method which can only be positively navigated by the heart and soul. Have faith that your angels are there, will not let anything you can’t handle to take place. They (your angels) will allow you to face your challenges face-to-face knowing what is waiting for the newly expanded version of yourself, while never leaving your side.

Surrender to the process allowing things be what they are and keep moving forward in the best way you can.

Choose to Change EMP

Feeling uncomfortable? Things not turning out the way you had planned? Are you stuck between a rock and a hard place?

When the going gets tough, it’s easy to turn and run and proclaim from the rooftops that you’re a victim of ________________ (fill in the blank).

On the other hand, you could consider the idea of choosing to change. You might reply to such a suggestion with something like, “Of course I would like things to change! Yes, let’s change this thing!”

More likely than not, you are not able to change that thing which is troubling you at the time, but you could choose to change something, right now, in this moment, that could change your life forever.

In fact, it’s the only thing you can do which delivers immediate, measurable, impactful results in a heartbeat. Know what it is?

You Can Change You

This is no wimpy, namby-pamby, rinky-dink, woos-out, whiny, “Well, if I can’t do anything else, I guess I’ll just try to look for the Brightside,” BS. No, this is the strength and the power that is your birthright to have dominion over any obstacle or challenge you might face.

It is your Ctrl-Alt-Delete Trump Card, which you can wield like dropping an EMP (Electromagnetic Pulse) bomb, and Wham! Out go the lights.

In that moment, the whole world changes, from the inside out. You’re no longer the victim. You are in charge of your world, and let the world take notice; for you are a formidable, unlimited, sole-battalion of power with hair-trigger laser accuracy.

“Don’t even think of screwing with me.”

Because you are unscrewable.

It is only possible if you choose to take charge. If you choose to take responsibility and control and change, making the adjustments necessary, you become invincible.

Sound frightening?

Hell, yeah; it means saying, “goodbye,” to the weak-kneed sheep being led around by media and society, like a mindless victim in a zombie-like state, accepting life as its doled out to you, just like you (and everyone you know) were robotically programmed to respond.

Yes!
This is the juncture in your life, where you say,

“I’m not taking your shit anymore!”

“I wield the most powerful force in my universe!”

The times are a changing, and you’re becoming a part of that change if you choose to.

To be a part of the change, you must become the fully-empowered changing-weapon, always looking inward first to change and charge your weapon for deployment.

Don’t be fooled by the sinister sleight-of-hand move or others who will try to keep you small, your power minimized, by thinking you need someone else to help you do this. If you want to do this thing, you have to do it on your own.

This is not a follow-the-leader approach to making yourself feel better. No, that’s the false flag of the enemy, meant to distract you, while secretly maintaining control of you.

No, it’s time to break-free and embrace the powerful you that you were born to be.

Sure, you can take hints from others who may have forged their own way, but you must not follow their footsteps (although you could momentarily) but your real power lies within you waiting to be released by you and you alone.

Are you ready to choose to change and launch your highest and best you?

Love and Marriage

Love is something that we all seek in many forms. Even if you thought that you didn’t want love, if you look at any desire you have for a person, place, thing, or ideal, chances are, beneath it all is love, the longing to love or be loved.

Love permeates all things and as elusive as it might appear, it is always there for you in unlimited volume and scope. Love is so pervasive it is hard to comprehend. Yet, we attempt to define it and put it in our cozy little boxes, but it is for more than you could ever conceive of.

Primal attempts to define love were based on feelings. If two people cared for each other more than they did other people, this was the definition of love.

The love between two people led to a pledging of love one for the other before family and friends. This couple was considered to be married.

The concept of marriage was promptly adopted and promoted by the church, and now we have the sacred bond of marriage.

Before science was a highly thought of concept, people were more likely to believe in magic and to them love appeared to be a magical spell that would overcome an otherwise mostly rational person, turning them into someone who might sacrifice all for the love of another. A cherub with a bow and arrow was blamed for the spell, his name was Cupid.

Courtship is the idea that represents a person who becomes enamored of another then exercises a series of socially accepted rituals to profess one’s affection for the other person in the hope of winning his or her heart.

Love is also considered a passionate sexual bond that exists between two people.

Upon this foundation, we have built revised concepts of love, such as the proliferation of the idea of the sacredness of marriage and its move from religious control to the government (which was a highly profitable move, indeed), though there is a waning of the acceptance of the marriage ideal in the current generation.

Prior to governmental control and profiteering of marriage, divorce was rarely an option. Since the introduction of legally sanctioned divorce and annulment, marriage has become an incredible financial resource for the powers that be.

Modern technology has greatly affected the courtship rituals as it has expanded with the use of mobile devices and social networking. Nonetheless, even though it has changed to adapt to the times, the courtship rituals have survived throughout the ages.

See you at the Soulmate Wizardry event.

Obsession vs Moderation

You want to feel good about life, enjoying the good things this life has to offer, but there is no doubt that when you’ve found something that makes you feel good, you want to do it again, and again, and again… And as you do, you seek new and exciting ways to have the experience, so that you can feel even better.

Sometimes, your search for that feel-good reaction is so great, that you can begin to ignore other areas of your life that need tending to, and when you find yourself compromising your moral fiber to accommodate your need to achieve your next “feel good” your people start murmuring, using words like, “addicted,” or, “obsessive.”

This is the scary part about seeking happiness. I am a huge promoter of achieving happiness, encouraging others to get all the happiness that is available to them, because if you could have everything you’ve ever wanted out of life, what’s it worth if you weren’t able to be happy, enjoying all the good things this life has to offer.

So, I encourage people to do or be anything you want. “Do it, if it makes you feel good.” If it feels good, that’s a huge indicator that this thing – whatever it is – is good for you.

If you’re like me, right about now, you’re hearing the voice of the robot from Lost in Space insisting, “Danger! Will Robinson, Danger!” as that rational side of your brain harkens, “Too much fun can kill you!” and, like Dr. Smith, calls the robot a, “nincompoop.”

It’s like the common imagery depicting a tiny devil-you which floating over one shoulder, taunts you to seek pleasure at any cost, and the angel-you, floating over the other shoulder, gently urges you to be more responsible and safe.

When I encourage others to get all the happiness possible out of this life, what I mean is to find happiness, to do the things that make you happy.

Obsession

Feeling good is the best thing, but to focus entirely on pleasure-seeking and neglecting you’re achieving your highest and best, is the excess that leads to addiction and obsession. You could get addicted to fun.

And we have the good-lord who endowed us with dopamine to thank for that one. A lot has been aired in the press regarding dopamine and its effect on us in addiction. It’s been referred to as the pleasure and reward seeking neurotransmitter. It has a four-phase loop that it runs, that goes something, like this:

1. Recognizably pleasurable experience
2. Anticipation of the pleasurable experience
3. Elation during the pleasurable experience
4. Creates desire to re-experience the recognized pleasurable experience

There is no dopamine injected prior to your first pleasurable experience because your brain has not determined whether the experience is pleasurable yet. First-timers jump-in on phase 3, as your brain releases dopamine for the first time anchoring itself to this particular activity. Phase 4 also seeks out new and different ways to alter the experience, because doing a thing differently creates a new experience, which releases even more dopamine. Phase 4 keeps triggering you to seek more.

As you traverse your life’s journey you discover these things along the way that release dopamine in the brain, and it’s easy to lose track of other things that have an even higher sense of value and meaning. This applies to all activities that make you feel good from gambling to holding a newborn baby. Dopamine has no regard for moral cues, it sees nothing as good or bad, that’s something you do independently of your dopamine rush.

If you were to reduce yourself to an animalistic creature without any other resources, the dopamine chemical reaction would suffice in defining who you are and how you operate. Thankfully, you are far more than that. Left to your own devices, you might become the addicted, pleasure-seeking zombie, without a conscious, letting nothing get in the way of your pursuits to feel good at any cost.

Moderation

The key here is to successfully find a place of moderation. Find the things that make you feel good, find ways to responsibly integrate them into your life. Don’t let the pursuit of “feeling good” keep you from doing the things in life that add value and significance to your life.

Balance is the secret to a healthy, happy life, and moderation is an effective way to balance all the details of your life, thereby maximizing your life-long experience at a higher level of vibration.

To moderate a potentially addictive behavior takes integrating other systems to override your dopamine pleasure center. It means you’re going to have to do some work to keep it under control. And the same God that gave you dopamine, gave you all the tools you would ever need to exercise moderation. You are not a victim to your neurochemistry, you can be in the driver’s seat if you choose to do so.

You may call on your sense of dignity, raising your awareness, engaging diligently, and calling on your spiritual powers. Whatever it takes, it’s different for each of us. You need to find your own way and determine what works best for you.

Even so, proceed with caution, as your dopamine center could attach itself to your activity of moderating. You don’t want to (or need to be) obsessed with or addicted to moderation, so moderate your moderation, too, if necessary.

Motivation

For me, motivation is the main factor. I am motivated to serve and contribute. While this is a top priority, for me, it does not take over all the rest of my life (moderation here, too). I like to be happy, and following my mission, living my life’s purpose brings many opportunities to enjoy all this life has to offer and to remain in a relative state of happiness along the way.

If your motivation is to be happy, if that’s your top priority, then your purpose in life takes the back seat (and it’s never more in the back seat than in the case of a psychopath whose brain releases four-times the dopamine than a normal person, but that’s a different story).

Putting your motivation to achieve your highest and best out front allows you to do all the good things that could potentially bring joy to others while adding meaning and a sense of purpose to your life, then happiness comes as a result of you’re being true to your individual calling.

By all means, seek to be happy, but serve first.

How to See People as They Really Are

You know, you’ve met someone who seems to have so much in common with you, you immediately take a liking to them, only later to find you wish you could know how to see people as they really are.

You let them into your inner circle, then after a while, you see them for who they really are. This person, who seemed so transparent, open, honest and the perfect person for you to work with, or spend your quality time with; you were simpatico. Then, as you get to know them better, you discover they are not the person you thought they were.

You find that they are not even close to who you thought they were, and you’re ashamed of yourself and think,

“How could this person have deceived me, like that?”

It’s easy to jump to conclusions and assume that this person tried to pull a fast one on you to throw you for a loop, which could be true, if he or she is a psychopath or sociopath (which would be rare), while the more likely truth behind this conundrum is that the responsibility for your being “duped” lies solely on you.

It’s all your fault.

In most (if not all) cases, the only person to blame is yourself, so go ahead and give up the notion that you must blame anyone for you’re being fooled into believing that someone was not who you thought they were.

How could I have been so wrong?

Forget the inclination to try to beat yourself up for not seeing this person as they really are. Why? Because you’re a good person. So good, in fact, that you tend to see the best in people. You give them the benefit of the doubt and see them in the most positive light. You see their potential, who they could be, if they embraced all the gifts, talents and special abilities, following their own life’s path to their highest and best.

Why do I do that?

When you meet someone for the first time, you have seven to fifteen seconds to fix in your mind an image of the person you’re meeting. Your mind tries to identify people quickly so that you can posture your method of communication with this person to navigate the conversation in the best possible manner. Your brain quickly tries to identify and categorize this person, so that you can find common ground to communicate effectively, or to protect yourself and not open up, if you’ve determined that this might be a toxic person.

If you’re an expansion explorer, you tend to see things through the eyes of love, or “rose colored glasses.” That is to say you are seeing people and things in all their empowered potential, as the highest and best version possible.

My daughter, Jaycie, is like that. She is a multi-media artist who sees potential magnificence in everything, whether it’s a rock, clump of earth, piece of wood, whatever she sees, she interprets as a blank canvas, and see’s the beauty of the completed project when no one else could. To you and me, it just looks like a piece of rock, but Jaycie is like Michelangelo who saw only David in the rock.

And you, too, are just like that. You see the David in everything you see. David was the potential, but without doing the work, the intricate chiseling away of everything that was not David, we would have never seen the real David realized in his full potential.

You’re Perfect

You are the visionary. In those first few seconds, you saw this person as who they could be, if they did the work. Unfortunately, most people do not do the work, or maybe this person is not unlike you and I, and he or she is in the process of growing, changing and evolving into a higher version of his or her self.

You’re not to blame for seeing someone as the highest and best version of themselves.

People Are More Transparent than You think

While your impression of this person was interrupted by your ability to see them in their best light, more often than not, people are quite transparent about who they are.

If you review your interactions with this person, in retrospect you will notice that they give you clues about what to expect from them at the get-go.

You could have paid more attention to their lack of punctuality, truthfulness, attention to detail, selfishness, or hundreds of other indications clearly warning you about what to expect from this person, but you didn’t take heed to the warnings.

Why? Because you’re such a beautiful person that you overlooked all the warning signs to see only the best potential in this person. After some time has passed, you become more and more aware of their current condition.

This person, whoever it is, is who and where they are in this moment; a work in progress, just like you and me. Only now, it’s (possibly painfully) clear about who and where they are.

What do I do now?

Love and bless them.

He or she is not broken, good, or bad; only who and where they are in this moment. So, accept them as such, and love them just as they are.

If they are not a good fit for you in your inner circle, make the adjustments necessary to reposition them. Move their position to a safer location within your social organization, or extricate them as gently as possible. Thank them, bless them, reposition them, or send them on their way. There is no need for an apology. Things just are as they are, and we all change and grow, but do not expect this person to change to accommodate your vision of their highest and best.

You Can’t Change Someone Else

Everyone is responsible for their own personal growth and change. It’s not up to you to change them, and you couldn’t if you tried.

July 2017 Image Directory

Wrapping up the month of July, here’s a quick screen shot review of the month’s news. Let me know which ones you like the most. Thanks for your input, -David M Masters

Why Bad Things Happen to Good People	Broken Promises	My Partner Doesn’t Support My Mission
How to Get Along with People You Don’t Like	How to Make a Contribution in Life	How to Deal with a Liar
Romantic Manipulation	Break Free from the Same Ol’ Same Ol’	An Affair of a Different Technology
Be True to Your Calling	You’re Making a Difference	Your Emotional Electric Fence
You Are the Center of the Universe	I’m About to Explode!	Purpose Message Passion Mission (PMPM)
Reach Out and Connect	What is Passive Aggressive?	The Freedom Weapon
What You Do Today Defines You	Loving at the Next Level	Put a Little Meaning in Your Life
Angels You and Me	How to be an Alpha Male	What Does Over 200 Look Like?
In Loving Memory of Aaron E Fairbairn	What Do You Mean Under 200?	Look for the Bright Side
Couple Connection and Difficult Conversation	Fear of Abandonment in Love	Out of Control Fighting

Why Bad Things Happen to Good People

Ever sit back in your easy chair and wonder, “Why bad things happen to good people?” You might know the best person, who lives a good life, gives in service to others, supports friends, family, strangers and the community with loving kindness, yet here they are; amidst a life crisis that no one should have to bear.

You might know this person so well, you might be sitting in his or her chair right now wondering why bad things happen to good people. You’re a good person. It’s not like you do anything wrong to other people. You’re a good and faithful servant. You’re growing and expanding every day, yet here you are face-to-face with the most incredible challenge; one you would not wish on your worst enemy.

As hard as it might be to fathom the idea when you’re amidst the storm of a life trial, there is a divine thread which connects all issues in life to lead us to our highest and best potential. You are blessed with opportunities to grow and change throughout your life, leading through various stages of metamorphosis as you continue on your life’s journey.

If you are WAY out of your comfort zone, feel severely challenged, overwhelmed, or find yourself sinking into a depressive state, chances are you’re facing a huge growth spurt on the other side of this time in your life. If you choose to embrace it.

You could, on the other hand, turn from it, not rise up to the challenge, and give in to the idea of accepting your lot in life as a mere mortal; a victim of life.

Or you can post up and ready yourself for battle, face the challenge head on, and emerge the victor, an inspiration for others who might be facing similar circumstances. The choice is yours, whether you accept the invitation to grow or to submit yourself to being victimized by life circumstances.

This is why it appears that bad things happen to good people. But if you can step back and look at bad things that have happened to good people, you see that some of the greatest, most inspirational stories have come from people who have overcome insurmountable odds, the worst imaginable things no person should ever have to bear. In this respect, there are no bad things, only challenges which are opportunities for growth (sometimes, enormous growth).

So, here you are. Possibly facing a circumstance that is impossible to imagine. You haven’t done anything to deserve this, yet here you are.

What will you do when faced with this challenge?

Sure, this would have taken out anyone else with a heart in a heartbeat. But what about the next person. Is it possible that your story, the story about how you faced, battled and defeated this dragon, going to save the life of someone else who may find themselves facing a similar dragon in the future?

Believe me, I know people who have done just that; they have looked fear, suffering, false accusations, physical and psychological trauma, and death, in the eye and definitively stated, “I will not let you take me out.”

Then, pick up their metaphoric sword and conduct the grueling hand-to-hand battle, emerging victorious, and lived to tell their story.

And I can tell you, people who have gone through such a transformative process are very different people than they once were. The person who comes out on the other side, even if they engaged in the battle and it may have appeared to us (the exterior witnesses) they lost the battle, the warrior is nonetheless transformed and has grown so much from the process.

Does that mean you have to fight every battle? No. You get to choose the battles you engage in, so pick your battles wisely, and in doing so, you can help to make the world a better place.

Stay in tune with yourself and document your progress, as you pave the way for others who may be following in your footsteps.

It’s no accident you’ve faced the challenges that you have encountered in your past. No matter how you came through that circumstance, you made it here, and your story beckons to be told to others who are treacherously approaching a challenge, like the one you had to endure.

This is your time, this is your moment, take charge, inspire or help someone else.

Your experience might save someone’s life.

Broken Promises

Ever wonder what to do when someone doesn’t keep their word? And what if this person is in a regular habit of making promises he or she does not keep?

Do you take it personally, and feel like this is a personal attack on you when someone says they will do something, then doesn’t do it?

Do you put your faith in someone, because they’ve given you their word, then feel slighted when they do not perform, and offer up excuses, that “something came up,” and they were unable to keep their promise?

In terms of promise keepers, there are only two kinds; those who do, and those who don’t.

If you’re not a promise keeper, then it would be reasonable to have lower expectations when it comes to someone’s keeping their promises, but if you’re a promise keeper and you’ve made considerable sacrifices throughout your life to keep your word and have a high degree of integrity, then you’re likely to have higher expectations from others.

The most important thing to remember is that it takes all kinds of people to make the world go ‘round. The world is full of both promise keepers and promise breakers, and sometimes even promise keepers can break promises, due to unforeseen circumstances, or acts of God.

If you’re a promise keeper, you can easily align yourself with Don Miguel Ruiz’s primary tenet of the “Four Agreements” which is to

Be impeccable with your word

This holds the bar very high, for yourself. You strive to be impeccable with your word and go to great lengths to do so. It communicates to others in our social circle, and the world that surrounds us, that you are dependable and trustworthy when you are impeccable with your word.

While you have opted to be the integrous, dependable and honorable promise keeper, you cannot impose the importance of this concept on anyone else. Of course, you could opt to take a self-righteous and judgmental stand and eject all the promise breakers from your life; but where is the joy in that?

Although, you can manage the sacred space around you, and keep promise-breakers at arm’s length, in tolerance, accept them for who they are. They are not broken, sick, or have malicious intentions to hurt your feelings. They are only being who they are. Their inability to keep their word is not good, it’s not bad, it just is the way they are. So, treat them accordingly.

Don’t place them in positions to make agreements or promises they are unlikely to adhere to. If you want someone to be an active participant who is supportive, dependable, integrous and has the ability to keep their world, do not even think of inviting this person to participate at that level. They are not hooked up that way, and you’re only setting yourself up for disappointment, and probably building a stockpile of resentment against this person. Don’t do it. Instead, accept this person for who they are, and love them and all their idiosyncrasies. People like that bring color to your life. Love them, bless them, and let them be who they are.

And when someone hurts your feeling because they broke a promise, think about Don Miguel Ruiz’s second tenet,

Don’t take it personally

Their inability to keep their word has nothing to do with you. They are not seeking out to destroy you, harm you, hurt your feelings, or make you look bad. They are just being who they are, just as you are being who you are.

You must allow people to be who they are, to accept them as different and unbroken.

Although, you do not have to set yourself up for disappointment. If you want someone dependable, trustworthy, reliable, (someone who has the ability to keep their word) then look elsewhere.

You cannot expect a cat to be a dog. If you want a dog, find yourself a dog. Do not expect a cat to act like a dog. A cat is a cat, and a dog is a dog.

Love the cat for being a cat, and love the dog for being a dog, but be smart about it. You should treat each of them, the cat and the dog like they should be treated based on who they are.

Should I forgive them for not keeping their word?

If they are not the kind of person to keep their word, then there is nothing to forgive. You cannot forgive someone who is only being who they are (especially if you knew in advance that they were not a promise keeper). You knew better.

If a promise keeper, someone you know who is impeccable with their word, has not followed through, then by all means, forgiveness is in order, for none of us are perfect, and you might even be able to recall a time when you made a promise that you were unable to keep due to circumstances outside your control.

So, yes, forgiveness should be the first order of business when you know you’re dealing with someone who is otherwise impeccable with their word.

If a promise keeper is in the habit of not keeping their promises, you may want to re-evaluate who this person really is. You might be dealing with a cat, who wants you to think of him or her like a dog.

Be aware this happens when someone is trying to please you, know you want a dog and desires to be a dog for you, even though they are a cat. Where is the harm in that? Just let them know there’s nothing wrong with being a cat, and readjust to treat them like a cat.

In most cases when a cat is masquerading as a dog, the intent is not nefarious, unless you’re dealing with a psychopath or sociopath.

What is your mission? Show me.