What Are the 3 Circles of Influence?

As coaches, we are often charged with helping individuals carve out better paths to travel along their life’s journey. What are the 3 circles of influence? The three circles of influence were brought to light in mainstream coaching by Stephen Covey in his The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People and it is a highly effective method of helping sort out the concerns one has in a client’s life.

Your concerns can draw an enormous amount of energy from your resources, so it is important to sort out the details to better focus your attention and energy where it can be useful and have the most impact on your life. The three circles of influence are a great tool for use in this sifting and sorting process.

Once you have completed the work of delineating the three areas which include the things you can control, those things which you can influence, and those things which you have no influence over, then you can choose to focus your energy and attention on the appropriate information as they come to your awareness. This leads to a happier more productive life.

To start, draw three circles on a piece of paper and label them as Control, Influence, and Concerns.

Next place the subjects which you are concerned about throughout your day is each appropriate circle.


In the circle titled “Control” put all the things, you are concerned or passionate about over which you have total control. These will come easily to you, slowly at first, then more rapidly as we go along.


The “Influence” circle is for all the things that you are concerned about that you may not have direct control over but may have some influence over and could potentially shift the direction of a concern or its momentum by adding your attention or energy to it.

For instance, you may not be able to tell someone what to do, but you could influence them by talking to them, persuading them, or helping to emotionally support or finance them. These are examples of influence.


While all these issues which you may or may not have control or influence of garner your attention and could potentially distract you from achieving your highest and best, the circle of “Concerns” contains all those things that you neither have control nor influence over.

No matter what they are or how passionately you feel about them, you simply cannot do anything about them. They go in the circle of concerns.

As you move through this process, if you think more about the items in your circle of concerns that you feel like they are totally out of your control whatsoever, you may realize that you may be able to have some influence over them. Then you can move them to the influence circle.

And if you discover that you have more control over things in your circle of influence than you first gave yourself credit for, you could move them to your circle of control.

Once you have completed this task, you will have charted out those things which you have control or influence over and those that you simply can have no effect on, no matter how passionately you feel about them.

The remaining list of concerns? Just forget about them. Stop wasting your time, attention, and energy thinking or worrying about them.

Focus your attention and energy on those things you either have control of, or can influence, and avoid the others, they are only distractions which drain your precious energy and resources. Stop worrying about them.

Distracted Much?

You ever notice how many distractions abound in the world around you? It seems like every second of every day, you are hit with a constant barrage of data, information, unsettling news, wild stories, other people’s complaints, things that bother or upset you, life tugging on your shirt vying for your attention. It’s as if there was an unseen force exerting itself via any means available to keep you from doing what it is that you want to (or need to) do.

Especially, if you’ve done the work of determining what your Purpose, Message, Passion, and Mission (PMPM) in life is. You’ve discovered what will bring you real satisfaction, joy, peace, and harmony in life, but all these constant distractions are keeping you from focusing on fully living the life you were intended to live.

What if everything that distracts you was designed to do just that?

What if there was an entity comprised of individuals and/or energies whose entire purpose was to keep you from achieving your highest and best? What if this group, organization, or other type of entity was charged only with your distraction 24/7? To design a constant flow of data and/or drama to interrupt any divine thought you might have about being all that you could be?


There is no doubt, that every time you try to focus on doing something massively good, really making a valid contribution to your family, community, or the world at large, what happens?

You are interrupted by distraction. Sometimes the distraction is just a part of ordinary life, in other times it is Earth-shattering. Interestingly enough, the result is the same.

Any momentum you may have gained building toward your heart’s desire, fulfilling your purpose, spreading your message, engaging in those activities that you are passionate about, while accomplishing your life’s sacred mission, is lost in a heartbeat when you stroll is completely disrupted by anything but that which you would love to have active in your life.

It’s the commercial about abused animals, it’s the neighbors arguing loudly in the middle of the night, it’s the dent in your car which showed up while it was safely parked, it’s the lack of finances, it’s the inconsistencies your noticing in your partner, it’s the feeling like you’re not being recognized for your contributions, it’s the Facebook meme that infuriates you, it’s the unexpected attention of an old friend (or foe) from the past, its any of 35,000 things that interrupt your thoughts and intentions every day.

Do you think its any coincidence that all this news, the rumors, and circumstances are slowing your roll or derailing your train of thought constantly all day, all night, long?


Think about it.

What if you were able to achieve your highest and best, to live a better life, your best life, and make the world a better place? What impact would that have on your family, friends, community, and the world?

Maybe, if one person could break through the muck and mire of everyday existence to answer their life’s calling, the system might be able to quash the inspired murmurings of one person. One. But what about two, or more? What about hundreds, or thousands, of inspired individuals reaching for the stars, embracing their own power, and having a massive impact? What would happen then?

The system which represents the life we’ve all come to expect as “normal,” the profiting of the few off the backs of the many, would no longer be sustainable. The system would collapse, and an enlightened people would rise up with true individual valuation and freedom, unencumbered by the profiteers.

In the meantime, none of us (because I include myself in the equation) is exempt from the constant attention-grabbing tsunami which fights to keep us distracted from achieving our highest and best.

I can hear a horrifying story on the news and be completely disempowered in the moment, just as any one of us would be.

Psst… (here’s a secret): If I allow them to throw me off-track, they’ve won, again. They’ve won.


There is a way to thwart the power-hungry “powers that be” (I intentionally put that in quotations because I think their days are numbered) who seek to keep an unenlightened populace enslaved can be challenged.

But it’s up to us (you and me) to recognize all those distractions for what they are. It’s all illusion, just smoke and mirrors, designed to keep us from achieving our full potential and evolving into the next generation of Earthlings which will emerge is a power unlike any other known in the universe.

So, the next time you see it (whatever it is), see it for what it is: a distraction. You may acknowledge it, the importance of it, but then quickly refocus your attention on those things which feed your soul and promote your life’s work.

Don’t let them distract you anymore.

Whatever it is, it is not your department. If it is outside of your direct control, it is what it is. Let it be, and keep moving forward.

Then, let them deal with you, and all of us who are joining you in the evolutionary expansion of mankind.

As we do, each of us individually and all of us collectively, their system will crumble and fall to the ground.

Our expansion and authentic freedom is just around the corner (and they are not liking it. Not one bit).

You are the answer.


Shiny Objects Everywhere

Ever get distracted by shiny objects? Those things that are newer, better things or processes that garner your attention with their sheer brilliance, clever packaging, advertising or have the possibility of garnering the support and love from your family and/or peers are indeed so shiny.


They immediately distract you and pull on strings deep inside you and you imagine how magnificent it would be, “if I only had” that, or one of those, then my life (family, or business) would be complete.

Only, more often than not, the shiny object does not meet your expectations of fulfillment following obtaining the thing you sincerely desired and believed it would help you to achieve the sought after feeling. So, the search is on for the next thing.

This not only applies to products, but relationships, education, programs, services, technology, social networks, investment and business opportunities. You can find shiny objects in any segment of your life and in most cases, the shiny object is a distraction, interrupting your otherwise focused progress in your life.

Because, let’s face it, even if you have the best (insert anything) once you get used to it, you start looking for something else a bit shinier.

It’s never more apparent in our society in relationships which have become somewhat disposable due to the social impact of the acceptance of the idea of disposing of something old (or has lost its sheen) and replacing it with something new is actually a good thing. Certainly, it makes sense from a profit standpoint, because in most circumstances transitioning in relationships creates additional cash-flow supporting our economy.

As it occurs to you, you might think, “Oh, so it’s a profit deal.”
Pretty much, that’s the truth. We owe a debt to the economy for encourage the deterioration of the family unit as well as other relationships, personal and in business.

And if you think it’s easy to abandon a relationship when it gets boring as you seek an alternative, think about how much more difficult it is to stay focused on a particular business interest, especially if you’re starting from ground zero.

That’s why most new businesses fail in the first one-to-three years. Two-thirds of the entrepreneurs throw in the towel and never try again, because the whole affair was a bust, leading to a lack of self-confidence, as they find safety and security restrained to their more convenient everyday life, yet always wondering, “What if…” things had gone differently?

Then there’s the other third of the former business owners who are endlessly in pursuit of the next new thing. They are often distracted by shiny objects in business opportunities, programs or systems, even prior to successfully completing the projects at hand. We call them serial entrepreneurs.

On and on it goes for them, one thing after another, never finishing one thing and they’re off to the next. Although this is an inefficient method of business building, unfortunately one percent of serial entrepreneurs breaks through (even if accidentally) and makes a fortune.

This success story spreads through the serial entrepreneurial community quickly, encouraging the remaining seekers to increase their shiny object pursuits even more. The energy created from the success of the one percent that it even attracts otherwise healthy business owners (as well as people who have never even thought of starting a business) to start looking for shiny objects too.

A shiny object can be a tool, or a destructive distraction.

Think about taking a little extra time and thought prior to jumping ship, or investing in your next shiny object and ask yourself,

“Does this support my highest and best?”

If you have a clear set of defined goals, you can use this list to quickly qualify any shiny object.

Will it be a tool?


Will it be a destructive distraction?

Stay on track and don’t count yourself as one of the accidental one percent, instead purposefully honor your purpose and mission, so that when you’ve become a member of the one percent, you know you can rest assured, it was no accident and your success is honorable and well deserved.

We Interrupt This Program

You are on the path of personal growth and enlightenment. You are making excellent strives as your heart and mind begin to open more and more to the possibilities as your consciousness expands…

There exists a level of mass consciousness that permeates the inhabitants of the earth. How – or for what reason – these ideas and concepts are nurtured and promoted as they continue to proliferate is a subject for debate, or you can just relax and realize it simply is what it is.

Just when you have inkling that there may be more, life will cause another interruption: misunderstandings (carrying heavy emotional impact), natural disasters, political unrest and polarity, inhumane actions, breaches of security, a terrorist attack, a disfiguring or fatal disease outbreak, growing rates of depression, suicide, wars and rumors of wars… a near endless supply of distractions designed to pull your mind out of the ethers and place your attention firmly back on terra firma.

Yet, in spite of the distractions, you – chosen one – you persist and press on to the new awakenings that lay ahead. So, here you are, growing and expanding beyond what might be considered prudent by the general population as well as other unseen forces who sense you are on the brink of a breakthrough.

Just when you’re about to move to the next level of your evolution, you are abruptly interrupted

We interrupt this program emergency broadcast system distraction law of attraction

As you approach this brink, alarms begin to sound in unseen stations in, through and surrounding our communities that send waves of uncomfortable discord emerging within your neighboring family, loved ones and citizenry, signaling them to notice your growth and do whatever is necessary to save you from your impending demise.

There are many distractions and obstacles in place to prevent the masses from even considering a path of expanded consciousness. Many societal systems (the Internet) and media manipulations are effective distractions that keep most of us in a state of moderate fear. In most cases, this fear is all that is necessary to keep the sui generis from seeking higher truth.

But you have been called – and you answered the call – to maintain your conscious evolution without regard to a lifetime of programming and all of the tools and systems in place to keep you in-line with the managed mind of the general populace.

Meanwhile, you must be stopped. You are a threat to all belief systems put in place to control the peoples of the world. You will be disrespected, ridiculed, possibly the subject of intervention… anything to save you from taking a bite from the fruit of knowledge.

It is not uncommon for individuals on the path of personal growth and change to meet massive disapproval. People are (and the world is) threatened by you. People will hate you and want to want to drag you down to their level. It is the nature of the mob cult, but because of their numbers, they see themselves as “normal” and you as the black sheep that some believe must be saved (brought back into acceptable alignment with the masses) or (though more extreme) destroyed (for your own good, in an effort to save you from a fate worse than death).

Since the most prolific new thought leaders have short life spans (as they are assassinated, or – more recently – simply die prematurely of “natural causes”) those of us on the path to enlightenment continue to progress and grow, though independently, subversively in an attempt to survive for the benefit of the greater good.

And as we continue to expand in numbers, power and consciousness, there is an growing love and light that is affecting our planet and all its inhabitants, with very little notice… and things are beginning to change.

Oh, you might not see it with the naked eye, but it is there – and you are part of it – for without you and the rest of us, it would not be possible.

Even though the media – and all the powers controlling this planet – would like you to think that we are in dire straits or on the brink of disaster (or the end of the world), there is a growing consciousness that will continue to guide our planet toward the entertaining miraculous and leading us to true happiness, fulfillment, satisfaction and peace.

God bless you for taking the high road.