Author: davidmastersadmin

People Click on the Darndest Things

While the Internet is one of the most amazing gifts of all time thanks to Tim Berners-Lee’s benevolent act of publicly releasing and not patenting his World Wide Web creation in 1989, which has grown virally since then giving us instant access to nearly unlimited data from around the world, it is proliferated with false information.

It’s a tough balance to maintain between data collection and free speech. We all agree (well, some of us) that someone should be able to think or say anything they want. Many of us use the Internet as a resource to access factual data, even events happening in real time that is not (could not have been, or might have been suppressed) by the media.

people click on the darndest thingsPeople Click on the Darndest Things

False Information Internet Narcissists (FIIN) stalk the World Wide Web scouring it to glean headlines, quotes taken out of context, and create photoshopped images to appease their addiction to obsessive click counting which send their dopamine system into orbit.

The quest for creating anything that “goes viral” on the Internet drives many non-malicious, twisted, thrill-seeking web surfers to create false information for the dopamine rush it provides (and maybe their 15 minutes of fame).

If you’ve ever posted something on Facebook that’s received a massive response, you know what the Internet-fueled hit of dopamine feels like. It’s a great high that makes you feel good, and it’s quite addictive. It’s what keeps us glued to our devices and clicking endlessly throughout our lives.

Not all of the fake news found on the Internet is spread in folly, some of it is posted and shared to manipulate the minds of Web-surfers. Before the present millennium, television, radio and newspapers were the media used to program and sway the minds of people to generate a particular mass mentality, and to separate us into manageable groups of polarized thinkers.

Now, the Internet provides us with a more effective access to each individual regardless of age. The programming starts as soon as a toddler is able to hold a device, and we all fall into line as it nearly becomes a demand that all individuals have access to a device connected to the Internet (though now, it is only a right, not a demand).

There are plenty of initiators of bad information with the malicious intent of controlling your thoughts or actions, as well as some who possess the well-meaning intent to sway the thoughts of others to align with their own perceptions and/or conclusions without malice.

When you are accessing information on the Internet, and you read something that seems quite fantastic, you might be better off doing a little fact-checking before joining the viral wave of fake news promoters.

We all do it. I even caught myself sharing a bit of falsified information because it was forwarded to me by a trusted friend. Because it was written in the first-person, I assumed it was written by my friend, whom I respected, and the message included a sincere request for me to share it on his behalf. (Which I’m embarrassed to admit, I did, without checking first.)

You cannot stop the spread of false information, but you can refuse to be party to its impact. Taking a few moments to do a little fact-checking before you re-post something can go a long way in slowing the spread of fake news.

All that Internet drama takes a toll on your physiology, causing cellular deterioration which can cause health decline for 8 hours following the emotional impact of a false news report.

Guarding your heart and your mind against getting sucked into a false media campaign will help you live a healthier, happier and longer life.

You’ve Been Deceived Now What?

You’ve trusted someone… and they let you down, cheated, lied, committed a criminal act, or otherwise taken advantage of you. When you’ve been deceived, your first instinct might be to ask the question, “How could I have let this happen?”

You need to cut yourself some slack as soon as possible because the fact is that we are surrounded by manipulative people who seek out good and honest people whom they can take advantage of. They can be quite crafty and covert and the fact that they chose you is a compliment to your character and an indication of his or her lack of character.

We all tend to project our own morality onto those within proximity. For instance, if you’re an honest, trustworthy person, you tend to see others as being honest and trustworthy, while liars see others as dishonest, and fear others are always hiding something and may deserve to be taken advantage of.

You’re somewhat in a state of shock because you wouldn’t think of doing this to someone else. Ready yourself to forgive yourself for falling victim to this circumstance, it was not your fault. You are not responsible for someone else’s misdeeds.

Of course, The kind of betrayal I am referencing is the misdeed with malicious intent, you must distinguish this type of activity from an honest mistake. Sometimes someone whom you’ve trusted does something that results in your feeling betrayed, but there was a distinct lack of malice, more likely they hadn’t thought things through far enough or realized that their inattention to detail would be offensive to you.

If someone has simply made the mistake of crossing you unwittingly, cut them some slack, and prepare to forgive them.

Be aware that there are people who may be looking to take advantage of others, but do not fall into the trap of living in fear. Many people may have the tendency to exploit others, and may include personality profiles such as narcissists, sociopaths and/or psychopaths, who are well-versed in building your confidence in them and grooming others for “the take.”

Once you’ve correctly diagnosed a person as one who would lie or otherwise take advantage of you, realize they are a snake. As much as they might beg forgiveness or try to charm you otherwise, a snake is a snake, and it will only set you up to bite you, even worse the next time.

Can people change? Yes. I am in the change business and I see it every day, but you have to learn how to deal with a liar, look out for you and take care of yourself and the others whom you care about. This is your responsibility. If this snake is a repeat offender, you have to do the right thing and take the action which is best for you and yours.

In becoming aware of the existence of individuals who may not have your best interests at heart, learn early detection methods of determining when someone might be being less than honest and pay more attention to potential warning signs early on when you are getting to know someone.

In the event that you are having a twinge, a sense that someone may not be as they appear, don’t be shy about checking out the details for accuracy. If you are uncovering holes in their stories and blatant inaccuracies, there’s no need to confront them about it, just place a safe distance between yourself and this person, and don’t let down your guard around this person.

Now that you are becoming more aware of people and learning how to see people as they really are, be careful not to fall into the trap of seeing everyone as a potential threat. Not everyone is out to get you, but once victimized, it can be easy to be absorbed in perpetual victim mentality (which will only attract more predators) so avoid the temptation to do so.

Remember the good and honest, trusting person that you were before this incident and embrace that part of you even more, only being aware enough to protect yourself in the future.

For more information, see: Trust Betrayal dot com.

I Love You No Matter What

I talk about love, been in the love promotion business since I was a teenager, but what is love? Granted, love is many things and can be expressed and felt, imagined and contracted in so many ways, but what is love, really?

I mean, if you could aspire to find the highest and best love that could be shared between two people, that would undoubtedly be unconditional love. But what does it mean to love someone unconditionally?

I love the Jesus model of unconditional love the best, “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:13). It doesn’t stop there. The unconditional Jesus-style love meant he was willing to sacrifice everything for anyone, even the people who didn’t like him, refused to treat him fairly, the ones who shunned and/or rejected him, no matter what.

And when addressing the love of a couple, Paul charges men to, “love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it” (Ephesians 5:25).

In a world where divorce is big business and relationships are pretty much disposable, this seems like quite the burden to place on anyone who is contemplating a higher degree of love. Unconditional? I love you no matter what? It just seems too impossible.

Is it like those marriage vows that go like, “love, honor, and cherish?” Okay, sounds reasonable enough. “For richer or poorer,” well, okay… for a while, maybe. I mean how long can two live on nothing? And, “in sickness and in health.” Well, exactly how sick are you talking about? We all have limits.

The degree of love you have for someone else is based upon your limitations, for unconditional love is limitless, “I love you no matter what.”

I have friends in my life whom I love unconditionally, they can ditch me, turn their back on me, pitch a hissy fit, leave me stranded at the airport, even steal from me and lie both to my face and behind my back, and I love them no matter what.

Sure, my feelings may wain and falter, but my commitment to love them is unfailing. If there’s one thing I’ve learned it’s that people, no matter how well you know them, can be unpredictable at times, and of course this catches you off guard. Even so, their underlying strength of character remains, and if they are for real, they will return, when they have the ability to do so; or not.

I work with many people in relationships who are unwilling to even contemplate the idea of unconditional love because their partner is not good enough. Maybe their eye continues to wander, looking for a better deal, someone who is better suited for him or her, so their chances are better if they push all their chips onto the table, affirming they’re ready to be all in for unconditional love.

What if you don’t think your partner is capable of loving you unconditionally?

What if you once felt like you loved your partner so much, but nowadays, you’re, “just not feeling it.” Then what?

I like what Stephen Covey says, “Love her anyway.” He insists that love is first an action, and the feeling cannot help but follow the action. So, if you want to have the feeling of being in love, love first, and the feelings will come.

Does, “I love you no matter what,” mean that I love you even if you beat me or cheat on me?

No. In life, we all make choices and should have healthy boundaries. There is no vow which suggests that you agree to allow your partner to abuse you, and you will stay, no matter what. You have the inalienable human right to life, and to live in freedom and safety.

Following self-protection, you need to decide what your conditions for love are. But think about it before you do because if your love has conditions, could your love be unconditional?

No. Unconditional love has no conditions.

Are you man or woman enough to go there? To love someone regardless of who they are, what they do, if they hurt your feelings, occasionally break promises, treat you poorly, forget some detail(s), ignore you when you could use a little acknowledgment, lose their libido, etc. Or a million other reasons why your love might waver or fade?

Might you long for unconditional love?

Do you think you want someone to love you, whom you can love unconditionally?

Unconditional love raises the bar of love incredibly high. It is not for the faint of heart, for the heart must come before the head in terms of it.

Your mind is the enemy of unconditional love and cannot conceive of the concept of loving someone unconditionally. It will do anything it can to protect you from it, for the mind’s base emotion is fear. Loving from the heart is the only hope there is of having unconditional love, which embraces the idea that,

“I love you no matter what.”

See: Awakening to True Love Workshop

See you at the Soulmate Wizardry event.

Free Gas Thanks Mike

I pull up to the gas pump to fill ‘er up, when just as I’m about to put my card in the machine, a young man shows up waving his card and says, “I’d like to buy your gas for you today. Would you let me do that for you?”

I turned and looked at him and smiled, “Whoa, you’re paying it forward, a random act of kindness.” To which he replied, “Not really. I just want to share some of the blessings that God has given to me.”

I smiled, even more, stepped away and said, “Why certainly…” I paused and pointed to him… He said, “My name is Mike.” I continued, “Mike, you may pay for my gas.”

Now, Mike had no idea who I was. All he knew was that he wanted to do something unexpected, what we refer to as a Random Act of Kindness (RAOK) because God had blessed him. So, he was motivated to share a blessing with a total stranger, not expecting anything in return.

I thanked Mike and waved at him as we left the service station, knowing our lives may never cross paths again. But this RAOK was far more important to me than he could possibly have known.

Yes, the thought crossed my mind, to graciously refuse his offer to buy my gas because someone else might need it more than me… which would have foiled his attempt to do a “random” act of kindness. In that split second, I allowed him to proceed, so as to not break his stride, nor prevent his blessing me more than he could have imagined.

I have been promoting and encouraging others to do random acts of kindness for the last year-and-a-half (I also suggested it before then, but not as passionately), and started looking for ways to do something unexpectedly good for someone who wasn’t expecting anything regularly. I herald the people who do random acts of kindness as, “my favorite superheroes.”

If you’ve been doing this for a while, you might be surprised at how some people will refuse your offer to do something nice for them. Maybe when someone turns my offer away, I should be more persistent, explaining about why they should reconsider accepting my simple gift, but I don’t. I am more likely to graciously honor their declining of my offer, and seek out someone else who might be more receptive.

I know what it feels like to have someone reject your RAOK. No matter what the circumstance, you were moved to do a nice thing and you got shot down. I wasn’t going to do that to Mike, so I let him to pay for the fuel for my car.

Now, the whole Random Acts of Kindness-thing comes ‘round full circle. I am pretty sure that Mike had no idea that I’ve been promoting random acts of kindness as part of my personal ministry of making the world a better place. I realize there are many people, just like you and me, doing the same thing. Doing something kind for someone, for no reason, except to bless someone unexpectedly, and who knows? They might be encouraged to do something nice for someone else unexpectedly. Plus, while I had been surprise-blessing others for the last year-and-a-half, this was the first time anyone approached me. It was good to see this idea working, making me feel like what we are doing is making a difference.

Our little random act of kindness may not be life-altering but in terms of reminding people that there is good in the world and we (you and I) can make a little difference.

Mike’s reaching out to pay for my gas reinforced my enthusiasm about encouraging others to do something good for somebody else who you don’t know and likely would never see again. I know Mike didn’t want any recognition for sharing his blessing, but I just couldn’t help but tell the story about his doing so because it so blessed me to be a recipient of one of the very things I have been promoting.

Mike, I honor you for your faithfulness in sharing your blessings with others with no expectations as one of my favorite superheroes, who do the same thing: Sharing a little somethin-somethin’ with strangers, which exemplifies hope in a world where hope is so lacking these days.

Mike, you made my day and the days of many others who will read this. It is your small act of kindness bestowed upon a complete stranger at a random gas pump which will hopefully inspire others to join the wave of goodness that is spreading across the landscape of our planet.

If you are reading this, and what you do today defines you, then think about Mike’s example of making the world a better place by blessing someone with a random act of kindness today.

It is these small acts performed by a growing number of people that changes our world for the better.

God bless you, Mike, for all that you do to make the world a better place.

Disappointed When Friends Let You Down

As you get to know other people and open up to them, they take more significant seats in your circle of influence. You’re being more transparent and you’re trusting them more and more as the bond between you grows. Invariably, the time will come when someone lets you down. You thought you knew them better, thought you could depend on them, felt reasonably assured they would keep their word, but they failed you. It’s no wonder you’re disappointed when friends let you down.

When you allow people to enter your inner circle, you tend to size them up as to what significance they will have in your life, and how much you’re able to trust them. When they react (or don’t react) in a way that you expected, it’s easy to jump to conclusions and judge them, like, “If you’re not for me, then you are against me.”

Granted, your feelings are hurt. You feel disappointed, left out, hurt, betrayed, disrespected and discarded because someone you trusted, your friends let you down.

Immediately, you don a self-righteous attitude because you would not have done this to them, you’re of the persuasion that you live by the golden rule, you do unto others as you would like them to do unto you. You just wouldn’t betray them like that. You know they can trust you, why can’t he or she give you the same respect of being trustworthy?

You’re likely to take this incident to heart and make a sudden judgment about the person who let you down and let it gnaw away at you for a while dominating your inner dialogue, reducing your vibration, and making yourself even more upset.

As soon as you’re able to find a place of cognisense, you need try to figure out if their action (or inaction) was malicious in nature. Most people are not out to get you, nor do they have the intention of hurting you. Everyone has their own things going on in the lives and in their minds, and it’s impossible to know what anyone is thinking at any given time.

Just as you’re doing the best you can with what you have available to you to get through this life, so are other people doing likewise. Someone who possess a high degree or maral integrity, whose word is gold, may even waver from time to time depending on what’s going on in his or her life. For others, it might just come down to their particular personality traits.

There are certain types of individuals who are so concerned with their own lives, that they may never be able to set aside their own wants, needs, or desires, to accommodate your expectations of them. It’s just the way they’re wired. You can’t change them. The best you can do is to love them and realize that’s just the way they are.

So, what can you do when your friends let you down?

When someone lets you down, you could take it personally, play the part of the victim, judge him or her, get upset, talk behind their back, shun them, or push them out of your life altogether.

If someone has been there for you in the past, and you know you could have depended on them because of their track history, then forgiveness should probably be extended to this person, even if it feels like you’ve been stabbed in the back.

To do so, it’s likely that you’ll have to make some space in your life to think about this, contemplate the details about what has happened and to review how much this person means to you. What kind of person are they? Are they just telling you how they really are and what to expect in the future, or are they genuinely dependable and this was an isolated incident?

Before arriving at a conclusion, I always like to pose the scenario to a disinterested third-party in the hopes of gaining a better perspective regarding the incident, because it’s easy to get locked into my point of view.

This is your life. You need to do what you need to do to get by the best you can with what you have. Sometimes, it means cleaning the slate and starting over again with someone who brings value to your life, other times it includes recognizing a potentially toxic person in your life and making space for someone more deserving of your trust.

The decision is your, whichever way you decide, think about which way is the high road leading to your highest and best.

One POV vs Perspective

Wouldn’t it be nice if everything in life were black and white, everything could be known or perceived from one point of view (POV)? Nonetheless, life being what it is, is best interpreted from multiple perspectives and seeing something from someone else’s POV can be not only beneficial but can add so much beauty and clarity (and sometimes curious confusion) to the overall landscape of life.

One POV vs Perspective

We see this a lot in the court room. More often than not, the plaintiff is asserting their point of view, while the defendant defends their point of view. Rarely, if ever, does the plaintiff conceded to the defendant’s point of view, even though there is always another point of view.

Wouldn’t be easier if everything could be seen and fully understood or appreciated from one point of view? Absolutely, but unless you’re a character in a story book, that is never going to be the case in the 3-D world where we live.

Someone who insists on only seeing everything from their own perspective we consider as self-obsessed and we refer to them as being narcissists, and they insist on making the world match their point of view. The advantage of doing so is that you have the ability to structure your world in such a way so as to find comfort in your own limited view of your black and white world.

How nice would that be?

For the rest of us in the real world, life is a little more complicated.

What if you were raised with the black and white view that

“Anyone who kills women and children should be killed”

And you were so passionate about it, that left to your own judgment, you might want to kill his own wife and children in front of him prior your executing him.

We all could appreciate that point of view, right?

So, I am working with this person who was experiencing conflict in his life because this is the way he felt. When he came to me he was suffering from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and who wouldn’t, if that very same person while carrying out orders in service of the USA, killed women and children. This would create great inner conflict in anyone with a heart.

Left to his own devices he may have taken his own life, just like 22 military personnel who commit suicide every day. War is a nasty business, and it does take its toll on those who are not lucky enough to be sociopaths and/or psychopaths.

PTSD is a horrible condition that locks a person into a certain limited point of view. Victims are so impacted by a particular experience (often tragic) that they find themselves unable to escape. An important part of the process includes being able to lift one’s view from outside yourself, far enough to see things from other points of view gives us perspective, but when you’re so immersed, it just seems like it’s too much to even conceive of.

Life, law, liberty, finding ways just to make it through each day, the pursuit of happiness, it’s all so very more complex than we might like it to be. But we can make it through much easier by trying to see things from other points of view to gain a better overall perspective.

Even so, since you can’t really know what goes on inside someone’s else’s head and/or heart, if they are so inclined, they could share their point of view with you. If you can empathetically see and/or feel from their perspective, you may find yourself getting a sense of what it might like to be that person in that moment, in a sense, walking a mile in that person’s shoes.

It is then that one realizes that life is not limited to our own perspective. What looks like one thing to one person might look like something completely different to someone else. To see an automobile accident from the highway looks completely different to someone actively involved in the accident. Even the experiences of two drivers involved in the same multiple-vehicle accident do not experience the accident the same way.

You could live a judgmental life, criticizing everyone who doesn’t see things like you do, maybe even ostracizing the dissidence, leaving you safely comforted by living your life like you want to, or you could consider becoming a part of the family at large.

It will take some effort on your part to do it, but it will be worth it, as you experience a greater connection with other people by integrating your life with theirs.

I know, the first objection from someone who’s already tried that interjects,

“I’ve done that before… and I got burned.”

Yes, that is the caveat; connecting with other people in a meaningful, transparent way will leave you vulnerable. You will be vulnerable, just as they will be. Once you start feeling a life with your feeling in tact and sharing those feelings with someone else, it allows your feelings to be hurt.

But it also opens the gates to love.

Trust me, love is worth it.

It’s up to you, though.

The Sound of Expansive Evolution

Where does all the weirdness come from? Images and scenarios that play out when you sleep, that feeling of Déjà vu, when you find yourself nowhere you’ve ever been before, yet have the knowingness that you’ve been here before, meet someone who seems so familiar, done or said something before, when you know better. Or have you?

There is a great field of energy that we all walk around in. It surrounds us and permeates every tiniest piece of everything that is, and even assists in the assembling and holding together of molecules and provides order so we can have the privilege of enjoying all matter has to offer, including the bodies we’re so blessed to inhabit.

The very thought of us, floating in space on a planet in a solar system, in a universe that contains millions of galaxies ever-expanding (if you thought you were feeling insignificant before, I apologize), but there’s good news.

If you allow your mind to consider the idea, you could access and meld with the intelligence that makes sense of all chaos and powers everything, everywhere, at all times. Yes, the same One that hung all the stars and planets in space, made our little blue ball and put us here to enjoy all the amazing things which surround us.

Obviously, attempting to define this intelligence and power in any intelligible manner, would be like trying to teach a worm how to build a Mercedes from raw materials. The only hope you have of getting any idea about what’s happening is to spend time experiencing this energy and allow our minds to expand enough to hopefully get some idea about what’s going on from the perspective of our human experience.

Now, this is not a new idea, and people are doing it every day. People from all walks of life wield this limitless energy every day. Some on purpose, some witness it’s power by accident, yet there it is.

Trouble is, when someone gets a glimpse of the power, and discovers a duplicatable method to predict a plausible result (that may well be unexpected at first blush) from accessing and deploying this energy, they’d like to patent it, if they could. Instead, they start a movement of some kind based on this very narrow scope of their discovery.

I am not discounting their discovery, God bless them for figuring out how to expand beyond the constraints of thought which keeps any of us other structured thinkers from doing so. Yet, this harkens to the idea that there is hope for those of us who see them embroiled in the ecstasy of their discovery, and have hope for ourselves.

Each and every discovery of this accessing and/or harnessing of this intelligent energy is but a spec, a very small sampling, like discovering a grain of sand among all the grains of sand all over our planet (and other planets, too).

The only hope of accessing this energy is to use a powerful tool we are all imbued with from the moment we are introduced to this planet, and that is your imagination. Your imagination is far more effective and powerful than any manmade weapon, and more effective, sensitive, and intricate than any scientific instrument ever conceived on this planet.

Expansion explorers are only scratching the surface of what the potential and power of the imagination is, but as much as we’d all like to release the information freely, we all realize there is a great opposition to the dissemination of discoveries of this type en masse.

We, all of us, you and I, have been programmed from birth to reject any of these magnificent high-level thought processes, to laugh at people who would dare think outside our comfortable little thought boxes. Some even go to school to learn how to diagnose, treat, or otherwise remove these energetic rebels from society altogether, for our own protection. To protect us from evolving past the limitations (and control) of our socialized humanity.

Okay, so there’s a growing underground movement that is slowly expanding and integrating with The Source of all that is, was, or ever will be. And while we may be few, our numbers are increasing, and one day, when this energetic evolution reaches critical mass, a very different world will emerge.

In the meantime, we will remain to be somewhat quiet about our expansion, while we continue to do so.

Shh… That’s the Sound of Expansive Evolution

August 2017 Image Directory

Wrapping up the month of August, here’s a quick screen shot review of the month’s news. Let me know which ones you like the most. Thanks for your input, -David M Masters

What’s Going on In Someone Else’s Head How to Do What You Want  Law of Unintended Consequences
Infidelity It’s Not Just Sexual Client Refuses to Do the Work When Everything Goes Wrong
You Are the Reluctant Hero Coaches Trained Born and Made What Stands Between You?
5 Steps Toward a Better LIfe How to Start a Mastermind How to Hear God’s Voice
7 Points of Evolving Expansion How to Know If You Can Trust Someone Happiness vs Joy
Alternative Medicine and Natural Remedies Talk to Your Inner Child

Just Go with the Big Change
Disaster or Miracle Find the Blesson Catch a Wave for a Better Life Make Your Dream Come True or Not
Get ‘er Done with Accountability Angry Much? What Is Your Mission?
Where Am I? Lost? Choose to Change EMP Love and Marriage
Obsession vs Moderation How to See People as They Really Are My Love Life’s in Crisis
Love and Fear in Relationships

 

 

You Can’t Tell What’s Going on Inside Someone Else’s Head

 

You really can’t tell what’s going on inside someone else’s head. You can try. If you have access to enough information about them, and are able to talk to them face-to-face about their innermost thoughts and feelings, you might get an idea of what’s going on inside there… but all your attempts, with all the tools, techniques, and everything we know about the mind, expanded thought, the heart-mind connection, and spirituality, still it’s all but an educated guess, and that is being generous.

You Can't Tell What's Going on Inside Someone Else's Head
You Can’t Tell What’s Going on Inside Someone Else’s Head

Really?

Really. Think about it; when someone notices you are somewhat non-present and they ask you if you’re okay, you respond with, “I’m fine.” In those brief moments before you were interrupted by the question uttered by someone noticing your mind might have been elsewhere, there was an entire lifetime of thought happening, in full color and with feelings intact. And even if you could articulate what your thoughts were in that moment, it would so pale in comparison to the experience taking place inside of you.

That’s you. In a single moment. Now, think about how that looks in every person you interact with or cross paths with, every moment of every day. If you ask, chances are, they will respond something similar to, “I’m fine.” But what’s really going on?

Do you care? Does it matter?

With the people who play significant roles in our lives, we do the best we can. But even the people we are closest to, your siblings, best friends, children, or parents… We still do not know what is going on in there in those moments of silence, let alone the moments when we are not in their presence.

We want to know because there are people who we rely on in our lives. For us it’s imperative to feel like there is a connection, and this feeling of connection includes an understanding, or predictable reliability, in how that person will react or interact with ourselves and others. So, we try…

Just as you see things from your perspective, anyone else will see things differently, sometimes wildly differently. Two people listening to the same joke can have two completely different reactions. For instance, two people are hearing a story about,

“a woman who pulls into the 7-11 parking lot and is screaming for someone to call an ambulance. While someone is calling, another person asks if he can help through the closed driver’s window. She screams that she’s been shot in the back of the head. He asks her to open the door or roll down the window so he can help her. She says she can’t because she’s holding her brains in with both hands on the back of her head. The ambulance and the police arrive, they open the door and discover that a container of pop-and-fresh dough that she picked up from the store earlier had deployed from the grocery bag in the backseat and hit her in the back of the head.”

One person laughs uncontrollably, while the other weeps, sobbing.

Same story. Two different reactions.

When we are surprised at someone’s action(s) or reaction as what we might have considered unpredictable, we are taken aback, consider this as unreliable, and begin to question how well we know this person.

It’s then that you realize that you can’t tell what’s going on inside someone else’s head.