Hate the Bad Guys is a Trap

If you see or hear about something that you don’t like, be careful: to hate the bad guys is a trap. It is well known that everyone emits a unique energetic frequency that emanates from the area of the heart, and what was once the mythology of the heart is now becoming the science of the frequency of the heart.

The way that you feel, your feelings, are a huge determining factor in the energy that you transmit throughout your own personal sphere of energy, and out into the world at least three feet beyond your body or more.

When you feel bad, hurt, mad, hurtful, or hateful, this is the energy that you are sending out into the world. Likewise, when you are feeling compassionate, understanding, supportive, helpful, kind, and loving, this is the energy that you are sending out into the world.

The ruler(s) of the powers in this earthly realm would love nothing more than to keep your heart crippled with self-righteousness, prejudice, intolerance, despising, and even hating others, their actions, or current affairs that you are not in agreement with.

As a coach, counselor, and consultant for many years, I have seen a wide variety of reasons why people might react in one way or another which might not seem natural or prudent to someone like you or me, but I know this: it is all a matter of perspective.

When I work with someone who is willing to do the deep work, digging down to ferret out the root cause of their instinctive response that may have mystified casual onlookers, all of a sudden the irrational reaction becomes understandable. Even I have been left thinking, that if it had been me, having had the same experiential programming, may have responded in a similar way. Maybe not exactly, but maybe, it’s hard to say. So, I can have compassion for this person.

Most of us are never privy to this depth of information when we read a headline in the news or hear a soundbite in the media about some over-the-top report that has been spun for the sole purpose of stopping you in your tracks so that you will turn your attention to the purveyor of the information long enough to sway your opinion, enrage you, of at the very least, expose you to advertising.

If any headline or story can enrage you, then the powers that be will be very pleased because now you are working for them. They’ve filled your heart with negative energy which you send into the world, and it makes them stronger. Even if your hate is against them, it is still hateful energy, and that is what they crave.

Hating the bad guys is a trap, and if you’ve responded in kind, then you have fallen victim to the same con that they have been running for centuries. As long as you can hate the bad guy, they win.

I know many people with the best of intentions that do so fueled with so much indignation, avarice, and hate, that even though their intentions are basically good, they are doing far more for their opponents energetically than they could ever hope to accomplish in their flesh for the ends to which they are trying so hard to accomplish.

For instance, overheard at the water cooler,

“I hope they steal his computer and reveal its contents to the world.”

“I hope they round up all the bad guys and kill them all.”

“I wish he would just die, already.”

Or even more cleverly disguised as,

“They will get theirs; God will torture them forever as they cook endlessly in the fires of hell.”

That last one might throw you off. I know even I have fallen into that trap, and fallen victim to self-righteously judging someone or their actions, and letting my selfish feelings overpower my otherwise compassionate and loving nature.

Not one of us is perfect. And I pray that I would never think of myself as better than anyone else.

And this I know: I am not that much different than anyone else, “But by the grace of God I am what I am…” (1 Corinthians 15:10), but by His grace.

Yes, bad guys may be dealt with, but I pray not from a position of hatred. You may have to put someone to death. You may even be charged with doing so (many of us have taken such an oath), but you can do so with love and compassion, as your heart breaks for that poor soul. Maybe redemption is an option for the perpetrator, maybe not, but that is not our business.

I know, I know… it hurts so bad when someone we love has been hurt or victimized by someone else, and all we want is revenge… I know. I often think back to when Aaron was in a firefight in Afghanistan and lost his young life. Likewise, the young man that took Aaron’s life lost his own life.

This is the nature of war. These two sons, brothers, and friends of others, each on opposing sides, gave their lives. Why? Because each one thought the other was the bad guy. Each one fighting to protect their respective families and their countries.

Too much hate.

Even amidst so much love.

Please think about avoiding the trap of hating the bad guys.

We need more love.


Doctors and Longevity

If we were to depend on the commitment and generosity of doctors to assure our survivability and longevity how would that look? The life expectancy of the average American is 77 years and change. So, if you’re an average American, you are likely to outlive your doctor by about four years.

That’s right, you would think your doctors, the ones who are charged with looking after our health and long life would hold the keys to longer life, and their families would live longer than you, right? Not so much.

Why is it that so few of us live to be a hundred, and even fewer of us can make it a few years beyond a century? The answer cannot be found in medical science, which is based more on a profit model than actual science.

If it was based on science, the science would prove true that,

Up until the day you die, your body is making new cells with every intention to live a long life.

So, what’s the problem?

It’s as if, those who profit from the world’s populace would prefer that our lifespans should be cut short, to live at the very most maybe a hundred years, or so, and for certainly not longer than 100 years, when our bodies cease to function.

Okay, there are a few, say 65 doctors who have lived to be over 100 years old, but none of them will make it to 110. It’s as if that were just too impossible. Even with all the good medical and technological advances, we have made in the last century.

Then there’s Ohio’s Doctor Howard Tucker who is the oldest practicing doctor in the USA, who is 100 years old and states he has no intention of retiring any time soon even though the traditional retirement age for doctors is 65 years of age.

But know this, by being under the care of a family doctor, you will be able to outlive him or her for four years. So, Doctor Tucker’s patients are particularly well-served.

Interestingly, those charged with the care and tending of expansive minds, like teachers, are likely to live longer, men 18 years or so, and women teachers 23 more years than their contemporaries.

So, why do you think you die?

The government will tell you that you will die from any of these disorders in this particular order:

          1. Heart disease.
          2. Cancer
          3. Unintentional injuries.
          4. Chronic lower respiratory disease.
          5. Stroke and cerebrovascular diseases.
          6. Alzheimer’s disease.
          7. Diabetes.
          8. Influenza and pneumonia.
          9. Kidney disease.
          10. Suicide.

Note: Number 3 on the list includes diagnostic errors such as, “Medication Errors, Delayed Treatment, Understaffed Hospitals, Surgical Errors, and Healthcare-acquired Infections.”

But the truth is, your body has no intention of dying at 76-ish years old. But what does happen is that your blood has become so toxic that it fails to move any longer.

You need these two things to stay alive:

1. Blood flow

For the human system to keep operating it needs a clean pathway to move cells through the bloodstream. The bloodstream must be moving to be a stream, otherwise, it is a swamp.

It’s easy to claim the heart is the culprit when the blood flow stops if it is a pump, but that’s not it. The heart is not a pump, the heart is a valve.

2. Clean oxygen to breathe

The other thing you need is pure air, which is really hard to come by these days.

Right there is where most people interrupt me, saying what about nutrition, what about what you eat?


I know you’ve been told that you need this, or you need that to keep your body in a healthy state. Well, you’re doing that, and how long do you expect to live? 900 years?

It is true, what you put in your body through your mouth and lungs is probably what’s mucking up your ability to transport cells via the bloodstream throughout the body.

There are plenty of indicators that many people on the earth lived to be 900 or more years before the flood. That should be our target. Right?

I think we could do it, if we kept the bloodstream clean and free-flowing, and fill our lungs with toxin-free air averting the accumulation of sludge that has the power to slow our blood flow down to a stop.

Ergo, the end of life.

You must stop listening to what the FDA tells you about food and nutrition. They tell you what all the rest of us have been told, and if we follow their advice to the tee, we will be lucky to see 76 or 77. That’s it. 77 years old, tops. Have a nice day. NEXT!

I know this is a tangled skein to unravel, but you could do it.

I’ve given you enough clues to do your due diligence and discover the truth for yourself.


Legalize Prostitution

The question of whether we should legalize prostitution comes up periodically and has many times throughout my career as a counselor and coach. I have a wide variety of clientele and have found myself working with sex workers and other fringe members of society without judgment. This enables me to have a unique perspective.

In contrast to other coaches, when a client comes to my office, I invite them to enter first. This is a symbolic ritual that they are unaware is going on behind the scenes. This is sacred space, their safe place to do their deep work. When I enter the office, I enter their world.

This empowers me to best serve them in strength and honor from their perspective in full tolerance and without judgment. I believe this, combined with penitent privilege, gives me access to the most intimate details in conducting the deepest work with my clients.

If you knew what these people had been through you would not judge them.


I have and have had, clients who are or were prostitutes and/or sex workers. And I can tell you this; if you knew what these people had been through, if you walked a dozen steps in their shoes, you would not judge them the way you do, if you think for one minute that these people should be criminalized for their behavior.

Think about this from a legal perspective. Is it illegal for your spouse to have sex with your neighbor or best friend, or his/her coworker or former flame? No, not currently. Yet, in all but 10 counties in Nevada, it is illegal for your spouse to remunerate a complete stranger for an in-the-flesh sex act. Note: virtual sex acts, even interactive live-cast via the Internet or cell service provider for pay, are perfectly legal, except for virtual sex involving underage children which is completely illegal.

I know the story deeply from both sides, from the side of the sex worker, but also from the side of the offended partner whose relationship was visited by the overbearing darkness of infidelity. And I can tell you this, based on my experience, the negative effect on a couple’s committed relationship is far more severe when conducted in a legal manner.

When the straying partner seeks a particular sexual gratification legally, with someone with whom he or she has a relationship, this can more certainly lead to the end of the primary relationship. Whereas, if the offending partner had sought this gratification from a sex worker, the primary relationship is far less affected.

Why? Because the person with whom the affair was conducted may have an agenda, one that could include taking your place in the relationship, while the sex worker is just providing a service, without any more intention than being paid for the service.

Why does your partner feel the compulsion to engage in such acts? Well, that is another subject of concern.

Most sex workers are deeply troubled and wounded, and while not expecting you to understand this, they are somewhat healed when they engage in these acts of sex work. It helps them relieve the pain from their often-traumatic pasts and make it through life another day.

If you knew those things which are forbidden for most of these people, the sex workers, to speak, you would better understand them, and have compassion for them.

The most abusive thing you could do to someone so deeply wounded is to punish them for trying to alleviate the pain they struggle with every day. For them, this is the only thing that they have found that works for them.

You cannot force or legislate treatment on these individuals, for no fruit will be born from your efforts to do so, unless the timing and conditions are right. To impose punishment or treatment on these people, the sex workers, who are victims themselves, only further victimize them.

Continually abusing the abused only further distances them from the hopes of dealing with and healing their past in a way that will empower them to live a better life.

As coaches, it is our job to help them find other ways to deal with the pain from their tragic past, which is only possible when their hearts are open and ready to receive healthy alternatives. Then, and only then, can they hope to be free from their past and find true love and happiness in the manner of their own choosing.

If justice is to be served, legalize prostitution, and allow sex workers to operate within the laws of the land, just as your neighbor, best friend, your partner’s coworker, or former flame is sanctioned to do, and pray for them, that they may have hearts opening up to do the deep work when the time is right.

Or not.

We’re all just doing the best we can with what we have.

There is no judgment here. This is your sacred space.

Top 20 Concerns of Americans

Considering the current state of affairs in America, I attempted to discover what the top five concerns were with the average resident of the United States and what I ended up with was the top 20 concerns of Americans without respect to age, race, economic, pollical, or geographic disposition.

In general, Americans are very concerned about the constant barrage of confusing information and are beginning to question the media, even though the media is generally the best method of disseminating information. Even though Elon Musk asserts that Twitter is the only way to get unbiased information out to the public, even though in comparison to Google or Facebook this is probably true, people still have to search diligently or deeply to uncover those unbiased nuggets.

I serve no purpose or gain in disclosing this list of the top 20 concerns of Americans, so this may be the most honestly realistic list. Here is the list of the

Top 20 Concerns of Americans

1. Climate change and destruction of natural resources
2. Declining personal financial resources
3. Lack of adequate food
4. Lack of safety, security, and well being
5. Large scale conflict and wars
6. Religious conflicts
7. Fearful future outlook
8. Lack of clean drinking water
9. General financial crisis / looming economic crash
10. Dangers of artificial intelligence
11. Out of control government power
12. Lack of education
13. Lack of government accountability
14. Catastrophic pandemics
15. Lack of people willing to take action for a better world
16. Nuclear war
17. Censorship and lack of free speech
18. Political polarization
19. Discrimination
20. Lack of political freedom and political instability

Top 5 Concerns of Americans

Concerning the Top 5 concerns of Americans,

1. Climate change and destruction of natural resources

I found it of particular interest that climate change and declining natural resources were still the number one concern of Americans, well overshadowing,

2. Declining personal financial resource

Number two on the list, represented the general concern of Americans who felt as though their access to financial resources was rapidly declining.

This is troubling for many of us who would like to see everyone feeling as though they could feel like they could sustain a somewhat normal state of dignity and independence, especially those who are willing and able to sustain an income via employment of some kind. Then there are those who are, for whatever reason, unable to work for a living, what about them?

3. Lack of adequate food

While I bunched together all the concerns about food as “adequate” the actual variety of concerns about the quality and quantity of food varied from food sourcing to food additives and everything in between. Still, people are deeply concerned about what they have access to that we feel can be represented as “food” and what the government deems is “approved for human consumption.” It does make you wonder.

4. Lack of safety, security, and well being

I think we all have a declining fear of safety and security within ourselves, our homes, communities, and where we live. We all can agree that this is a crazy world that we live in, and the unknowns stretch far and wide, which does make us feel insecure because there is little that is tangible about us having a brighter future ahead.

5. Large-scale conflict and wars

Of course, as always, wars and rumors of wars are just enough to add concern to anyone with access to the media. Note also that this would have been the number 2 concern had I not separated out the threat of nuclear war. The concerns bout the nuclear war threat were so specific that I decided to separate them out and give them their own place on the list.


I was surprised not to find any surveillance or being watched by Big Brother paranoia on the Top 20 Concerns of Americans on the list.

Tell me what you think about the top 20 and what piques your interest concerning the list of Top 20 Concerns of Americans.

What Are Your Thoughts?

Comment Below


Help Gramma Don’t Tell Mom jail/accident Send Cash

If you’re 70 or older there is an increasing chance that you have or will be called by a grandchild in trouble. Only this is not your grandchild, and you are the one in trouble. This phone scam has been around for a while, and the biggest bucks swindled by these scammers are sourced from seniors 70 and older.

The identity scam generally yields a loss to the person who answers the phone an average of $462 in general, without regard to age, but when you separate out the victims who are 70 years and older, they are bilked for a surprising average of $9,000 as fake grandchildren are pulling on their heartstrings begging for help. Components include,

“Help Gramma, I Need Your Help”

The faux grandchild will call the elder victim and claim that they are in the most difficult circumstance, a potentially compromising situation that if it were to become public knowledge, might reflect poorly on the family. Grandparents are often sensitive to these unforeseen challenges and are willing to offer assistance discretely.

“Don’t Tell Mom”

Of course, there is the need for secrecy. If anyone else in the family were to find out, they would be devastated. This is an important part of the scheme because if the victim of elder financial fraud were to tell anyone, they might give them the head’s up that this is probably a scam. Or they might know that the grandchild is not actually in Dayton, Ohio at the time.


The criminal caller usually reports that they are restrained by some legal scenario, like being held in jail, or potentially facing criminal charges. Another popular alternative includes being in an uninsured accident and potentially facing challenges or charges. The understanding sensitive senior victim compassionately responds with something like, “Oh, dear, is there anything I can do to help”

Send Cash

As a matter of fact, there is a way that the grandparent can help this criminal out. All these problems can be instantly dealt with by inserting cash into the circumstance. And here’s where the elder financial abuse becomes criminal. And the elder mark will have to send cash dollars via mail, usually stuffed into the pages of a magazine, to an address that the victim would not recognize.

More Cash Less Risk Crime

This approach designed to scam senior citizens is a variation of the family and friend imposter scam that’s been circulating for years. As you can see, it is much more profitable for the scammer to target the elderly. Plus, the elderly are less likely to report the crime as they could be labeled as a vulnerable adult and potentially lose some of their independence.

The last thing they want to do is put their children on alert to their vulnerability, so they withhold information on the crime, while the criminals are financing their dreams in paradise by scamming the elderly, with much less risk than victimizing younger individuals.

What Can You Do?

Talk to your elderly friends and relatives and let them know about the grandparent scam, so if they get a call from a desperate grandchild they reach out to the family to verify their condition and whereabouts before trying to help them. And if they confirm with other family members that they are missing, possible consider offering assistance, but NOT in the form of cash through the mail.

If You Are a Vulnerable Adult

Check with family members, even though the grandchild (possibly a criminal posing as your grandchild) makes you promise to keep this a secret.


Sometimes stalling for a few days will allow the scam to dissipate. This is because the criminals are always on the move, changing the addresses that cash is sent to. So, if you delay, the urgency and the calling go away, as they find new numbers of alternative grandparents to go with their new mailing address.

Tighten-up Your Social Media Info

These cybercriminals are scouring the Internet and social media for their next targets, by cleaning up your profile, you may be able to reduce the likelihood of you becoming an upcoming target.

Sent Cash Already?

Contact the carrier that the cash was sent by. There may be a chance that you can catch it before it gets delivered to the recipient.

Report the Incident

You can report the incident to national authorities, like ftc.gov/complaint and your information may be able to help then track down these criminals and your report may save someone else from getting ripped off.

You may also consider reporting the incident to your State Department of Health and Human Services as they may be able to provide you with counseling, support, and help.

Want to Write a New York Times Best Selling Book?

So, you’re an author and you wrote a book. Are you a New York Times bestseller? If you answer, “Yes,” there are those (many of them authors) who are not impressed. Why? Because those of us in the know are aware of all the ways best-seller lists can be – and are – manipulated by publishers and new authors, and the new authors have either deep pockets or know all the ways to manipulate the lists and are very determined to make the list(s).

Many authors long to be on the best-seller lists, assuming that means that they have “made it,” as an author, yet 99% of the authors on these lists are still working their day jobs, are retired (and have some other retirement earning program in place), or broke.

If your book makes it to one of these lists legitimately, like the New York Times Bestsellers list, you will have earned about $30,000 in royalties from sales that week. After that, you’re limited to the 35-cents to $2.00 (or mostly around 80 cents) royalty that you will earn from each book someone buys following that week. And, if you received an advance from the publisher prior to publishing your book, your $30,000 will be deducted from your advance.

Of course, you get the bragging rights for being on the list, and will increase future book sales by 12 to 15 percent after making it on the list.

There was a time around the turn of the century when I wanted to be a New York Times Bestselling Author, so I paid (an exorbitant amount for me at that time) to get the blueprint from two of the bestselling authors in the world (out of respect for them, I will not divulge their names).

Once I had the blueprint in hand, I no longer wanted to be associated with anyone on those lists, I decided instead to focus on making money myself from the books I was writing and sold them myself. I was already selling them from the stage and have been successfully monetizing the books I was writing in a manner that worked for me. That is more than most other New York Times Bestselling Authors can say.

How to Make the New York Times Bestsellers List


Publishers are the best at manipulating the bestseller lists. They have all the blueprints and the resources to manipulate the lists. You can tell if your book will make the list if the publisher has paid you more than $100,000 upfront for writing your book. Why? Because the publisher needs to make that back. You’re going to have to be on the list(s) for at least three to four weeks for them to get their money back. Then, they decide how much effort they will spend making sure your sales continue or if they put that effort into another author.

That was easy. And accounts for much less than one-tenth of one percent of the authors who believe their work is worthy of making it onto the list(s).

DIY NYT Bestsellers

There’s more. If you have a pocket full of dollars, you can do it yourself (with a little help) and hire a company that has people strategically placed across the USA to go to the reporting bookstores and buy copies for you over and over again throughout the day in a specific week. Voilà, you’re on the list.

Don’t laugh, I know people who have done this. And, no, I’m not going to say who they are, but you would recognize a couple of their names and you’d be shocked.

Making the List Raises the Bar

Motivations can vary, but if you’ve had a previous bestseller and you’ve printed it on the cover, it puts more pressure on subsequent books. For some authors, “New York Times Best Selling Author,” doesn’t rate as highly as a New York Times bestselling book printed on the cover of a book.

Depending on what you had to go through to get on the list, it might keep you from attempting to even write another book. It can be quite intimidating.

There are so many ways to manipulate these lists.

Be an Amazon Bestseller

If you can settle for an Amazon Bestseller, just have all your friends buy copies at the same time and take a screenshot when your book rises to number one in a not very populated category. Ta-daaaah!

Or Create a Revenue-generating Business Based on Your Book

That’s what I do.

It’s Your Choice

Me? I’d rather make money from the work that I do. You can have the labels.


People Come and Go

Our lives are experienced in the reflection of the people and lives that surround us. These people all play different types of roles. Some of them help us better define and know ourselves. Some teach us how to love and how to hurt, experience pain, have hope for a better life, heal and grow.


There is so much emphasis these days on personal growth and individuality that it forces us to exclude others, seek solitude, and think as though we, our “I,” is all that matters. In this respect, it is a matter of balance. Of course, in your world, you are the most important component because in your life there would be no world if it wasn’t for you. So, yes, you must look after yourself first.

Your individual value raises significantly as you interact with and contribute to the intimate world around you, your community, and the world at large, for without others to witness and validate our lives, we live only a shallow existence of the one, with little life to behold, experience, and enjoy.

For better or worse, when we are young, our lives are influenced by the people who will prepare us for the adult part of our journey. They help to set the stage. Even if your childhood past was riddled with injustice, trauma, and abuse, there were also good people who interacted with you in these times.

I know that in the worst of times in my young years, I was given access to good people, sometimes even bad people who played the part of the good person for my benefit. I have been given the opportunity to thank some of those people later in life, and most of them do not even remember what they did for me, and they have no idea how impactful their small gestures changed a young man’s life.

This unusual activity of people showing up at the right time, even if they may not serve the immediate purpose that we might prefer at that particular time in space, they do show up. This curious anomaly continues throughout the journey of our lives.

Some of the people that we have in our lives are so powerfully supportive and reflective they make us feel more alive with every breath that we take, interaction with others might make us regret the day we were born.

Looking Back

If you are able to persistently pursue life, you will develop the skill of looking back at the past with a 20/20 vision. This means that things that made no plausible sense whatsoever, when life seemed to be hardest to deal with, can be interpreted as being valuable, if not necessary to your journey. The most evidential and simplistic rationale is that you would not be the persona that you are today, and you would not be right here, right now, had it not been for your past.

Even though they tend to come and go, some people allow us to see our own value as we see our lives reflected in their eyes. Special people encourage us to help others less fortunate, who are struggling more than we are, even if only slightly, and to seek to live a better life.

Some of the people who show up at just the right time may not be people at all. St. Paul says we, “have entertained angels unawares” and therefore we should be mindful of how we interact with strangers (Hebrews 13:2).

You might be surprised to discover that angels have been known to vacation here to see what it’s like to be in the body, but they don’t stay very long.


How Suppressed Trauma Affects You

Suffering from the effects of trauma or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) can be expressed in many dysfunctional ways. When it is severely internalized, the one who has suppressed the trauma suffers even more. The people around this person are more than likely unaware that he or she is suffering at all because their internalization of the trauma is so effective. Or is it? They appear to be coping and interacting in life’s processes normally. But at what cost?

Unbeknownst to the onlookers, or even the person who is suffering from repressed trauma, it takes a great deal of energy to keep the trauma suppressed, because if it were to be released, the individual might experience a severe psychotic break or worse.

Where does the energy come from necessary to manage suppressed trauma?

The human body is a combination of mass and energy. The energy required to manage suppressed trauma is robbed from the body that hosts the trauma. This is the very same energy that is required for the body to function properly, so the body begins to deteriorate.

How does the body deteriorate due to suppressed trauma?

First and foremost, the immune system is compromised, so the person who is keeping the trauma buried deep within is prone to sickness, disease, and premature aging. Then energy is taken from the basic physiological and brain function, so organs begin to fail, bones may become brittle, depression begins to settle in, and cognition becomes problematic.

Explosive Traumatic Outbursts

Keeping all that trauma bottled up takes a lot of energy. Someone suffering from repressed trauma can get some relief by having an explosive traumatic outburst event. This is shocking to the unsuspecting onlookers who will be hard-pressed to try to make sense of this sudden break in character of their beloved family member, friend, or faithfully diligent employee.

Once completed, the outburst, which could take from hours to years, can offer a great deal of relief, and in a sense re-energize the individual suppressing the trauma giving them the ability to reset and have the energy necessary to resume a “normal” life once again.


Many trauma suppressors release the pain from bottling it up by finding ways to let off steam and reenergize by engaging in high-risk activities periodically. These activities may be intimidating, even frightening, for most of us, but to them, they are highly effective coping mechanisms.

How might trauma suppressors self-medicate?

You might find them excessively “overing,” over-eating, over-drinking, over-spending, over-compensating, hoarding, gambling, using illicit drugs, engaging in criminal activity or sexually stimulating activity, having unprotected sex with strangers, or living a secret second life as a less desirable personality, among other methods of self-medication.

How do trauma suppressors affect other people’s lives?

If you genuinely care about someone who is actively hiding buried festering infectious wounds of unresolved trauma and abuse, accept the fact that this will be a tumultuous relationship. Expect broken promises, sudden surprises, hurt feelings, and ghosting, where this person may disappear without a word for periods of time or longer, even forever.

So, what’s the answer?

What can you do if you care about someone who is suppressing trauma?

Love them. As hard as you might try to help someone who is suppressing trauma, this is a highly individualized journey, and only they hold the keys to their own doing or undoing of this. Unraveling suppressed trauma is so complicated that there is no one way to assist someone through the process of overcoming trauma and abuse from the past, the trauma that for him or her is so individually horrific that the presence of it cannot be thought about or spoken of.

Can you help someone who is suppressing trauma?

Trying to help them will do you more harm than good. This is even a speculative proposition for experienced professionals. One who overcomes unresolved trauma will often seek different practitioners and modalities before finding the right combination of methodologies to successfully exit this mentally and potentially life-threatening affair.

CAUTION: Caring about someone who is dealing with unresolved past trauma or abuse can be traumatizing for you. Trying to help them? Even more.

The best thing you can do is to love them. Love them unconditionally if you can.

Try not to judge them. Pray for them, and send them all the love and energy from above and beyond you can because they need it.


Is A Psychopath Demon Possessed?

I work with clients of all kinds. In the olden days, people with predatory anti-social personality disorder, specifically psychopathy, high-ranking officials in church and government claimed these individuals were born without a soul. Even recently, I was asked, “Is a psychopath demon-possessed?”

There were rumors that spread prior to current waves of thought that suggested what we would today call “psychopaths” were conceived while the mother was in an altered state, which left her impregnation vulnerable to invasion by an entity that had never experienced life as a human. Extremists may have claimed that the mother was raped by an incubus (a malevolent demon spreading evil seed while victims slept), resulting in the birth of a psychopath.

Scientists agree that psychopaths are unique in that they fail to have certain human feelings and have over-the-top behaviors, feeling that they are better than “other” (weaker) people, and are prone to highly predatory impulses. They are born that way, and there are scientifically based brain scanning tests that can adequately determine the authentic psychopath.

In my work, I often find myself walking the tightrope between spiritual and scientific. Let me run this one by you:

Rebuke the Devil!

I have had clients who were working with what appears to be a psychopath and they believe that he needs to be exorcised. They believe that he is possessed by an evil spirit. Yes, there are those who believe this in modern times.

I had the struggle of having to explain to them that there is nothing to exorcise. If a person has been born with this condition, whatever you want to call it, or however you would like to try to relate to it, if you could remove “it” (the psychopath) from the human body, there would be nothing left. There is nothing for this person to revert to.

Psychopathic Tendencies

Now, if you have a normal person who has led a “normal” life who has suddenly been possessed by an evil spirit or alien, has a biological problem, mental health challenge, or whatever, and is expressing psychopathic tendencies, that is a different topic of conversation.

Keeping in mind that a psychopath can easily play a part for years, only to reveal his true nature after his needs have been served, and therefore, it could look like a sudden change of personality. If given legal pressure and the opportunity, he may claim that he is a victim of some disease that may have compromised his mild-mannered character, if it will help his situation.

Psychos are Tricky

Whether you believe that psychopathy is basically a brain-borne birth defect or a baby born as part human/part non-human, he or she is what he or she is. He or she will be charismatic, intelligent, and will have no feelings, which is the perfect cocktail for a master manipulator. Add to that impulsivity, someone who will do anything to win, and feels as though they are never wrong, and you have a disaster in the making. The evidence of this will have been noticeable in teenaged years or earlier, and there is likely to be documentation to back this up.

Psychopathy Cannot be Cured

You can try to train him or her to act like a normal person or go through a ritual to try to accomplish the same thing, and you might look at the results and claim victory. But if he or she is a true psychopath, he or she is playing you like a Stradivarius. While you are celebrating, he or she is laughing his or her arse off!

They are often the greatest actors who will do or say anything to get what they want and fooling you at any cost is at the top of their list, especially if doing so will benefit themselves in some way. Psychopathy cannot be cured.

Lie, Cheat, Steal

They lie, cheat, and steal without thinking about the consequences, they believe the rules do not apply to them, and if they must pay a price for their liberties, this is a temporary situation that was an unintended cost of doing business, that is all.

Cannot be Punished

You cannot punish a psychopath because they have no regret or remorse for any of their actions, or how they might have affected others. Sending them to prison might be inconvenient, but there are plenty of opportunities for them to thrive while confined as well. Many continue their plans, conducting business from inside the walls of the prison, while incarcerated.

Psychopaths in Relationships

If you find yourself dating a sociopath or psychopath, is there anything you can do? No. This is going to end badly, no matter what you do. Challenge them and They will dump you, like garbage, if not something worse, like endless terrorization, or destroying your life completely, which would make them feel truly satisfied.

Marry a psychopath and you will have to put up with his affairs and debauchery. You cannot counsel, medicate, or exorcise the psychopath out of him. If you dare to try to challenge him, he will take you to court and destroy you by manipulating the legal system and using any means possible to exploit you.

What Can You Do?

The best thing you can do is to proactively take steps to protect yourself from the psychopath, which is to basically, have no contact with them, get help, be quiet and don’t talk about what is going on, and stay strong however you can. Be sure to document everything and forgive yourself for letting yourself get into a situation, like this. You did nothing wrong.

Google search: How to Deal with a Psychopath or Psychopath Victims for more information.